It was an ordinary day, as normal as it can be in the Loud House. Rock music was loud enough to hurt your ears; you could trip over the extensively scattered sports equipment and heaps of dirt. But the only son didn't care. He sat on his bed and neutrally looked at the white laptop screen.
"Hey everyone, it's still me, good old Lincoln Loud. You may ask, "Why do you sit so calmly when your sisters raging in the house?" Well, I'm just too tired to try solve everything and I have an more important thing to do: I want to visit some of my new friends." Then he puts his laptop closer to his legs.
"Here I go again." - Lincoln thought aloud as he entered his laptop. He literally put one leg into the screen, like if the glass weren't really there. Then the second leg went in, followed by the rest of his body. The white-haired boy was sucked into the laptop, and the glowing screen turned off.
Out The Loud House
- Welcome to the Internet, buddy. - The robotic voice of the cardboard with the picture of a blue hedgehog brought Lincoln back to his senses.
- Hey. - The loud boy responds with a neutral expression.
If someone had told Lincoln that he would one day be in an endless white void talking to a piece of cardboard with a blue anthropomorphic hedgehog on it, he would have called that person crazy.
Although the first impressions passed and he managed to get used to it a little, it still seemed like a dream, a very realistic and surreal at the same time. Like not every day you find out that your entire universe is part of a giant web called "The Internet", Lincoln was almost having an existential crisis, but thanks to his new friends he calmed down. He's not just a fictional character created by a guy named Chris Savino; he is a real human, he is a real person, he is a completely real.
It's sometimes hard to understand how the multiverse works, especially if you're a part of it. At least now he can brag that in one of the universes, the entire planet Earth knows him because he's the star of an animated series. He'd love to see Lynn's shocked face when she realizes he's more popular than her. But he won't reveal his secret to his sisters for this; this isn't an equal exchange at all.
"Bud, you've been standing there like five minutes." The lifeless and emotionless voice of the cardboard interrupted his thoughts. A wide smile and one winked eye from the cardboard don't help him feel less uncunny. "Where do you want to go today?"
"I don't know... games, maybe?" Lincoln shrugged.
"You're already there, enjoy your stay, buddy." - The cardboard hedgehog disappears.
Not even a second had passed before the cardboard disappeared, and in its place the white space began to resemble a shopping mall. However, unlike the Royal Woods mall, the visitors here were not only humans but also included aliens, undead, demons, angels, robots, elementals, and so on.
A zombie with a brain flag walked past him and waved with a smile. Lincoln waved back. He was surprised, but he wasn't going to ask who it was. The amount of new people he can meet here is almost infinite; so seeing someone or something new isn't a daily event, but an hourly one, and knowing everyone is just impossible.
After that meeting, he was a little proud of himself. On the first day, he was scared of almost everyone he met, but now he doesn't even flinch at that zombie.
Making his way through the crowd of people and other creatures, he came to a place whose appearance clearly spoke of the owner's two favorite things: basketball and demons. This is a "Azmodunk Basketball Training Club" whose symbol is a strange demon with spider-like legs wearing a basketball uniform. No, Lincoln isn't going to play; he's just a friend of the owner, sort of like that. He hopes.
"You came again." - The calm owner said.
"Hi Azmodan, I was just passing by and decided to stop in" - A loud boy waved to a giant demon.
"I see." Lord of Sin walked closer to Lincoln. "I can smell sins of almost all of your sisters. Do you want to relax again... or finally some more?" The anticipation was evident on his face.
Lincoln got a little bit angry. "How many times do I need to say that I'm not going sell their souls!? I'm just visiting my friend, okay?"
"Well, of course." Out of frustration, Azmodan threw the ball at the sleeping skeleton, who did not react and continued to snore. "You're too lenient for your own good, revenge is the sweetest dish, and you refused from it so easily; I can't understand that."
"Our... "families" are too different, Azmo." Lincoln made air quotes with his fingers. "You don't know how it feels to have ten sisters... And I don't know how it feels to have evil chaos demon siblings. So we have something... in common." He said the last thing with a little concern and the sweat that appeared on his forehead confirmed that. Even though sudden battles aren't possible in the Internet, he still doesn't want to anger anyone, but sometimes new acquaintances begin to hate him right at first sight.
"Ha, humans." Lord of Sin let out a small chuckle. "You're right; we don't understand each other. Now, go away; I don't have time for your human regrets. I need to train to prove my championship." Demon spins basketball on his finger.
Lincoln listened to demons and decided to go away. Azmodan's words don't hurt his feelings; this was one of the most polite requests to leave. Plus friendship works differently for both of them, so Loudboy doesn't judge him.
"And remember" Azmodan's voice stops him. "No matter what you say, Lynn Junior's soul is still mine to claim.
"Yeah-yeah, whatever you say." The albino waved his hand without looking at the demon.
"so, this is the sin bearer of not his own sins?" Calm voice interrupts Azmodan. "how nice of you to look after him."
"Shut up, slave of the Ideal Masters." Azmodan walked away.
"no need to be rude, gosh. and people say i have a bone to pick. well, i'm a skeleton after all... ayy, too bad he isn't here; i've already missed his angry face...
"Finally I'm here; I'm so hungry for pizza." - Think of Lincoln as he stands in front of the "Peppino Pizza" door. A stereotypical image of an Italian chef looks at him with a smile. He enters the door and immediately hears many voices, and the wonderful smell of pizza fills his nose.
Trying not to accidentally push someone, someone like the man in the red tricot, with white hair, who is holding a giant sword. Lincoln managed to calmly walk to the counter behind which stood the man in the chef's outfit, whose mustache perfectly complemented his smile and satisfied facial expression.
Chief noticed him, and his smile became even wider.
"Ah, Lincoln! Glad to see you, my boy. Sit down, I'll be right back with your favorite!" Chief went into the room behind him, leaving the white-haired boy with the man in the yellow suit who was smoking a cigar.
"Ay, kid." Said calmly the man.
"Hi, Unc Noise" - Lincoln waved to him, after that Noise turn back to a giant living pepper in beret who look at boy with unkown interest.
After some minutes of waiting, Chief came back with a large pizza and a can of soda.
"There you go, Lincoln. Bone Appetite!" - He put the pizza and soda on the table and then walked around the counter and sat down next to him.
"Thanks, Uncle Peppino!" The boy answered and immediately began to eat.
Pizza was gone in record time; her taste could only be described in two words: "godlike perfection".
"Ah, still the best pizza I've ever eaten." - Satisfied Lincoln patted his stomach.
"Glad you like it, so how's..." Peppino was interrupted by a loud burp.
"Oops, sorry" He blushed a little, and the rest of the visitors just laughed a little and started talking again about how this boy cannot be defeated in a burping contest. After Lincoln's burp, three more were heard, coming from turtles in funny-looking trench coats.
"This means you really like it, so that's nothing." Peppino waved his hand carelessly. "Anyway, how's goin?"
"The Same." smile disappeared from Lincoln's face. "But anyway, I was just visiting some of my friends here." The smile returned.
"Oh, then sorry, little pepperoni, but Paola isn't here today. She is visiting her friend in the cartoon section. And unfortunately I and Gustavo are very busy today, you know, Fridays." He scratched the back of his head with a guilty face. "And plus these two are also going somewhere." He pointed at Noise and pepper guy.
"That's okay, Uncle." Lincoln patted Peppino on the shoulder. "I just want to quickly visit everyone and then come back home."
"Well go then, I don't want you to be late and suffer. I never knew what is a sister fury and never wanted to know, not on my own and not through your words." Peppini rubbed Lincoln's hair, stood up and returned to her place.
"Oh, almost forgot!" Lincoln, already leaving, returned to the counter. "How much should I pay? I still can't remember the prices."
"Oh, no-no-no." Peppino wagged his finger. "I told you, it's free for my most regular and adored customer! Now hurry up, little pepperoni, your sisters not going to wait!"
"Well, okay then. Bye Unc Noise, bye Uncle Peppino!" - Loud waved to both of them and then exited the pizzeria.
Noise turned to his companion with a cheeky smile. "See Peps? Told ya, our Italien man love that little squeak."
Pepperman just signed in defeat and gave a small wad of money to smoker. And whispered quietly. "Crud".
Peppino rolled his eyes.
His next stop was a beach, first time that suprice Lincoln, but this world actually isnt limited by Mall only, there is actually other location, like forest, mountain, waterfall and so on.
Luckily, he didn't have to search for too long; three sun loungers were clearly visible near the shore. He decided to approach from the side so that he wouldn't be noticed earlier. And so it turned out.
"Linky!" The yellow-haired rocket crashed into the Loud boy and gave him a strong hug.
"H...i.. P...h..e..b.." He found it difficult to speak due to the bionic hands around his chest.
"According to the weather, it's going to be so hot that you can suffocate." A hoarse male voice spoke.
"Oi, shut it Randy and envy in silence!" Lincoln feeld that hugs become even stronger. His eyes darkned.
"Phoebe, he's turning blue, literally, let him go before you kill him." - A stern female voice said.
What do you mean, Cass? He's totally fine... Oops! The pressure released, and he could finally breathe.
As soon as his vision returned, he noticed the owner of the hoarse voice, a man with a strange hairstyle on only one side of his head, the other was shaved, and there was a smiling emoji on it. A man was wearing a purple shorts.
"Lil' Genie if you want to die so badly, you should come from Cassandra's side, she's much better at choking than Phoebe." He chuckled and dodged the hit.
"Quit with black humor Random, he is a child." - Said the owner of stern voice, a brunette woman in a blue swimsuit, there was a displeased expression on her face, however it dissappear when she looked at him.
"Oh, stop arguing!" - The blonde woman in the green swimsuit took him into her arms, this time gently. "We have someone more important to talk about than your arguments!" She looked at him with a smile. "How's your life, dear?"
"The Same" Lincoln signed.
"Really?" Randy grumbled. "They don't even try; I still advise you to give them Joywire and Mindscrew."
No Loud shook his head. "I've had enough of Lisa's science tricks and don't want any more of them."
"Well, that's a vicious cycle." Randy shrugged.
"Oh, poor thing, you just don't deserve this." Phoebe stroked Lincoln's hair as she lay on her chest. "I would never have thought that this is how family members behaved to each other three thousand years ago."
"Well, they don't always act like this; I hope so." The boy climbed out of her arms and onto the ground, signing.
"Forget about them now." Cassandra knelt down and put her hands on his shoulders. "Do you want us to help with something, or do you just want to see us?"
"Nah, the second one." Lincoln hugs Cassandra, and she smiles.
"Quickly, take a photo!" Randy whispered to Phoebe. "The world must see that smile!" A small flash came from Phoebe's right eye, and they both struck a victory pose. Cassandra rolled her eyes, and Lincoln just laughed.
"A short visit, huh?" Randy is rubbing the boy's hair.
"Yeah, I don't want to get caught." They fist-bumped. "And I'm almost done; where is Brother Thaddeus? You know where he is?"
"Book section." Said Cassandra while sitting back in her sun lounger.
All that came out of Lincoln's mouth was a sad "Oh".
"Yeah, thats just no such luck Lil' Genie, you wont find him today, or even this week." He didnt realize his mistake.
They heard a quiet cry.
"Randy, you're such a dumbass!"
"I know, sorry!"
Some time later Lincoln's disappearance
"And it repeated again." Lisa thought aloud. "This small power surge in the network keeps appearing, and I still can't understand why." She wiped her glasses tiredly and walked away from the board. "I think we should do more productive activities and not waste brain cells. What did you think about that, assistant?" In response, she received a cheerful childish mumble. "Great. Let's proceed."
She and Lily looked through the cameras installed by Lisa herself. The front yard was empty, and in the back yard, Leni was mowing the lawn. In the kitchen, their father and Lori were busy preparing for dinner. Luna and Lucy were in the rocking chair room discussing the influence of music on horror. In twin's room, Lola was having a tea party with toys. There was no one else on camera.
"Nothing unusual." Lisa was about to get off her chair, but suddenly Lily began muttering and pointing at one of the screens. "Ah, good observation, young sister with the same genetic information."
On the camera, Lana walked towards Lincoln's room.
Since the tomboy twin's mouth wasn't making any sound but still was moving, Lisa turned up the volume several times.
"... will forgive me." Then she looked at the frog on her shoulder. "Don't look at me like that, Hops. It's your fault too! And tell this to the others; you all disappointed me. You all are "truly" man's best friend." Hops' face changed from judgmental to guilty.
Then Lana stood at the door and seemed to be preparing for something.
"Poo-poo?" - Lily turned to Lisa and showed one finger.
"Yes, Lily, that's one. If you don't count me and yourself."
Lisa took out a list labeled "Have the emotion of regret" and wrote Lana's name on it. Until now the list was empty. "It seems that the absence of any emotions cannot be inherited. I have already proved this hypothesis on you and myself a long time ago. But it's nice to know that we are not exceptions."
Both were hurt by the fact that the entire family and pets were part of it. And it was especially painful for Lily, who was also part of this, consciously. Their guilt lay heavily upon them, very.
"What is this?" There was confusion in the tomboy's voice. She tore off the piece of paper taped to the door and began to read it. "If you're looking for me, I'm helping Zach with his school project, in the park. If you don't believe me, ask Leni; she was close when we talked on the phone. Signed, Lincoln." She signed in defeat. "You see that Hops?! If we didn't screw everything up, this 'if you don't believe me' part wouldn't happen!". She quickly disappeared from the camera lens trying not to cry.
"The old me would have only considered this an interesting addition to some stupid anti-scientific sociological research. Science must help people, not maim and torture them. Shame on me. I'm worse than Mengele and Unit 731 combined..." Lisa covered her face with her hands.
"Poo-poo..." Lily hugged her big sister.
"That's how it works, Lucy." Luna showed her goth sister some scenes from scary movies. "Sometimes some moments are good on their own, but with the right music, they become much better. Without it, some moments are just boring, skittish squeals."
"Never thought about it." A very small smile appeared on her face. "That's evil."
"That's right, Luce. Now what do you think about..." She fell silent when she saw Lana running past her room, usually there was nothing wrong with it, but this time Luna noticed redness in her eyes and traces of tears. "Something off, after her, Jumpscare!" Lucy just nodded without paying attention to the nickname.
They quickly found Lana, who was standing in the middle of the corridor, rubbing her eyes.
"Lans!" The tomboy shuddered at the rocker's voice and turned towards them, trying to hide her eyes. "What's wrong, my little girl?"
"I-i...I...I..." She was crying and breathing too quickly to say anything.
"Breathe deeply and slow your heart rate. Repeat after me." Lucy began to inhale, and Lana repeated after her, thereby slowly calming down.
"Feel better now, Zoo Star?" Lana nodded and snuggled up to Luna. "Awesome, nicely done, Lucy. I wouldn't have thought of it myself." She gave her sister a thumbs up.
"Thanks." Goth nodded. "I learned from the best."
"Okay, Lana. What happened?" Now both of them are asking the tomboy.
"I, i wanted to ask Lincoln for... help, but he wasn't in his room and there was a note on the door, he wrote that he was helping Zach... and if... and if we... don't believe him, we need... we need..." The longer she talked, the closer she came to crying, and finally she couldn't hold it in. "He dont love us anymore!" She start to cry with all her might and tears flowed in huge quantities.
"Crap, crap, crap, crap!" Luna started to panic. "Lucy, run downstairs and play one of episode of "Blarney Against Tears!"
"Got it!" Goth ran down the hallway as fast as she could.
"Shhh, that's not true, love! He loves us!" Luna tried to calm her sister down, but it was useless.
Scientist and Baby loolked at all that with sadness. Then Lisa turn that camera off, much to Lily's suprice.
"Although it was sad, little sister, I had to turn it off because I completed my little investigation and it raised questions that needed to be resolved."
Then she showed a recording of the corridor near Lincoln's room, which had been sped up. The only event shown was how the boy hung the note on the door and then returned.
"And also that one." This time the recording was from a camera in the front yard. The main focus was on the emergency exit from Lincoln's room.
At Lily's raised eyebrow, Lisa responded. "Remember note that Lana read?" Toddler nodded. "He wrote that he would be in the park, right?" Toddler nodded again. "And it means..?"
"Poo poo poo!" Lily began pointing at the camera with the door several times.
"Exactly, sister." Lisa patted Lily's head. "He didnt leave his room. This could mean three things:
"First - The meeting was cancelled, which I don't believe. I don't want to insult his friend, but I don't think he could do the project alone. And I never will believe that Lincoln decided to deceive someone he agreed to help."
"Second - They routed it through the network, which I also don't believe in. I monitor the operation of electronics throughout the house. In Lincoln's room, there is complete zero; even the phone would be noticeable. So, this is a no."
"And the third - He was able to get out unnoticed." She was interrupted by Lily's exclamation, showing how she put on imaginary glasses. "Our second older sister? As much as I don't want to believe it, I'm afraid that Lincoln will decide to use her... level of intelligence. And maybe there wasn't really a call, and Leni, with her "special brain function", would have thought that she had forgotten about it, but after the question she would have remembered. A dirty trick. To the question "why" I have an assumption: He doesn't want to be disturbed, not only by us, but also by his friends. I'm afraid our actions caused more harm than I thought.
"And now, we came to the main question: How was he able to escape unnoticed? The cameras did not detect him, and the cardiac scanners suddenly fell silent." She noticed Lily's dissatisfied look. "There's no need to be angry, sister, right after... The "incident" I removed all the cameras from his room, he deserves at least some privacy." She cleared her throat. "As I said, the scanners fell silent, but they shouldn't, as they are connected with each other throughout the territory of our entire land plot, so a sudden silence is characteristic only of those on the border."
Give her sister some time to understand what she said. Lisa drinks some water, she wasn't in the mood for anything else. After some time, Lily started to look scared. Scientist understand why.
"No worries, assistant. He's not... that. I also have scanners set up for this case. They are silent, and I hope they will never work." She hugged Lily.
"And all this leads me to two different conclusions:"
"First - This is partly my fault. I hope you remember how Lincoln broke Lori's watch? This may have something to do with it."
"And Second - I have no idea. I'm afraid I don't know what's worse..."