Hey y'all, it's been a minute so apologies for the wait. I had an eventful New Years and a lot of flying around to deal with along with preparing for my next quarter of college. From now on, I'll try to follow a schedule of AT LEAST One chapter a week. There are few changes I will be making as well. Firstly, I am still trying to figure out the maturity rating requirements on . I will be moving the rating of my story to T for now. My reasoning is that I will not be putting in explicit profanity or "lemons" as people call them in my story. Since there is plenty of slang from Adventiure Time to use, a lot of curse words won't be needed.
I am still unsure of my choice to change the rating though. This is due to the fact that I still plan to include depictions of violence not excluding decapitation, blood, etc. At most, I MIGHT include suggestive comments or scenes, but nothing beyond that. If anyone knows whether or not these will require an M rating, please let me know in the comments.
Secondly, I am still figuring out a proper writing style so If anyone has any constructive criticism to add in the comments, I would very much appreciate that. My biggest issue is trying to get comfortable with effectively separating dialogue from descriptive writing.
Once again, Thank you all for giving my story a read and look forward to more chapters!
P.S. - Let me know down in the comments if you think I should make my chapters longer. I initially thought that hitting near the 5000 word mark was good enough, but the chapters still feel kinda short to me and maybe i'm over thinking it.
Chapter 1: Pants Trouble
It was a bright and sunny morning in the land of Ooo, or at least it was where Finn had been living for the past half year or so since he had turned eighteen. Though the sun shined just as brightly as it had over the summer, the cold nip of fall air was starting to make its presence known and various trees could be seen adorning yellow and red leaves, indicating the impending arrival of Winter in the next several months. The human was spending the last ten minutes pacing the corridors of the Mount Cragdor castle, double checking that he had everything he needed, packed into his trusty green backpack before heading out for the day.
Night Sword, check. Compass, check. Cyclops tears, check. Such a simple yet meticulous inspection over supplies had always been sort of a ritual for Finn in recent years. Even if he was simply headed to the Candy Kingdom or Marceline's house to jam out for the day, it never hurt to be prepared for anything. After taking mental note of all his gear, Finn began heading back to his bedroom to get dressed for the day. As he stepped into his room, still staring at the giant crack in the stone floor for a moment, he headed over to his dresser and sifted through whatever suitable clothing caught his eyes first.
After he had swiped what he needed from the drawers, he threw on a pair of long denim jeans and his trademark blue t-shirt. He usually preferred wearing his shorts, but considering that it was getting colder as fall fell upon the land, he would easily make the compromise. Once finished throwing on his clothing, Finn found himself looking over at the empty drawer in his room where Jake had always slept. His canine brother was currently with Lady and the kids, visiting her parents in the Crystal Dimension. Jake said that they wouldn't be gone long and that Finn should expect to see him back home in no more than a week.
Though Finn was easily able to keep himself busy so far, helping Bubblegum with her research, training with Huntress wizard in the woods, practicing his swordsmanship with Rattleballs, and practicing freestyle rap with Phoebe, kicking some bad guy hams, wandering through Ooo just didn't feel quite the same without Jake.
"Just one week is all."
He said thinking aloud as a small smile grew upon his face.
"CREATOR"
"AAAAAAAAAA!"
Finn was snapped out of his reminiscence due to the high pitched and slightly monotone robotic voice behind him. He quickly whipped around to see Neptr waving his pie throwing arm at him back and forth.
"Oh it's just you Neptr."
"Apologies, Creator. I didn't mean to frighten you."
Finn let out a soft sigh followed by a chuckle as he smiled down at the pie thrower.
"It's no biggie. What's up man?"
"I have been looking for BMO, but I cannot seem to find him."
Finn sheepishly fumbled with his hat.
"Oh ya umm… I think that BMO might be upset with me at the moment. Little guy seems to think I broke his 'talking mirror' or whatevs. Have you tried checking the bathroom? You might find him in there using the mirror above the sink."
Neptr sat there for a moment as if trying to decipher something in his CPU or whatever jumble of wiring and circuitry acted as such.
"I have not checked the bathroom yet. I shall do so now. Thank you creator! You are so wise!"
"No prob bob."
Just as Neptr began to tread out of the room, the robot came to a halt and rotated back towards Finn once again.
"By the way, Creator. I was not going to mention this but, I am fairly certain that you should acquire new clothing."
Finn raised an eyebrow at the robot's statement.
"Do I look lame or something?"
"Oh no I didn't mean to give such an impression. What I mean to say is that since your body mass index relative to your height has fallen from 24.6 to 19.9, your clothes appear noticeably 'unfitting' now."
Finn turned to look at the broken mirror that sat against the dresser to confirm what Neptr was saying. Just as the robot companion had said, Finn's usual blue t-shirt looked kinda baggy on him now. He always knew he was a bit chubby growing up. His and Jake's eating habits certainly weren't anything to be all that proud of. What had ultimately changed was Huntress Wizard getting on Finn's buns about his health. A combination of vigorous training in the forest almost everyday along with her having him eat only what he foraged and hunted had led to quite the miraculous change in his physicality.
"Aww crud! I guess you're right dude. Do all of my clothes look this loose on me?"
"Many."
"Whelp, time for one of my least favorite activities then… shopping." Finn said with a particular disdain in his voice as he looked down at his jeans which were now sliding down his legs due to his new lack of waist size.
Finn looked over at Neptr again with an amused grin.
"How are you able to read my chubs just by peepin at me anyway?"
"Silly Creator, I am a robot. I can do all sorts of things."
Finn was about to question further. For Glob's sake, he built Neptr from a bundle of wires, a tin can, a microwave, a random old motherboard, and some treads. He certainly didn't remember throwing in any fancy scanners or anything like that. Relenting, he ultimately shrugged off the confusion, pulled his pants back up, and continued getting ready. Neptr turned back around and rolled out of the bedroom to go off and search for BMO. Walking over to his nightstand where his bionic arm lay, Finn took hold of the artificial appendage and attached it to the stump where his right arm used to be.
As the arm began to power on, a mock sense of touch began to introduce itself into his nervous system as he brushed the fingers of his metallic hand across the doorframe to his bedroom. He continued moving the metallic fingers in different directions until everything felt just right. This new model was gifted to him by Peebles on his 18th birthday. Unlike previous iterations, this arm was nearly identical to the human anatomy, sporting five fully functional fingers, a dull sense of touch, and a lot of other handy features.
He wasn't quite sure how it all worked considering that he certainly wasn't a scientist or robotics expert but, nonetheless he was extremely grateful to have such great friends that would go out of their way to gift him things like this. The castle atop Mount Cragdor which he now lived in was an 18th birthday present as well. Apparently, Jake, Marcy, and Prubs had refurbished the entire place in secret before the celebration, giving the hero and his brother a home just about as grandiose as their reputation. Pieces of the treefort were even salvaged and used to personalize the castle as well.
The same night after he had gotten moved in, he and just about every person he was personally associated with threw a huge party at the castle since Jake had invited people in advance. Marceline pulled Finn aside and went on about how the age of 18 was considered adulthood in many ancient human civilizations and promptly after finishing her explanation she introduced the human to a peculiar bottled liquid which she and everyone else referred to as 'hooch' or 'booze'. Jake was originally opposed to the idea, probably due to him being protective over his little bro. A bit of begging here and convincing there however, made Jake reluctantly agree with Finn trying the stuff. The only thing Finn remembered was that the beverage tasted nasty, but the feeling he got from it afterward made the celebration 'wilder' per se, resulting in fragmented recollections of the night and a pretty gnarly headache the next morning. It's not that he was immediately sloshed or anything. It all started with taking a shot with everyone and then another after that. He wasn't truly 'gone' until a crowd of party goers had dared him to chug more of the mystery 'hooch' out of a hollowed out troll skull, which the young man did not hesitate to do.
Despite the unpleasant experience of having his first hangover, Finn didn't regret a single thing from that night. It would all just be more positive memories that he could carry with him unlike certain others that well…. went into the vault. Snapping out of his daydream, Ooo's beloved hero threw on his backpack, walked out of his room and down the main hall of the castle, opened the front door, and left.
Venturing through the grasslands has always been a pleasant experience for Finn. It always used to give him a sense of serenity and gave him time to reminisce and share stories with Jake which brought a different feeling of fulfillment than the actual adrenaline filled moments of fighting beasts and punching evil wizards in the boingloings. Hitting it off with his brother always made these walks all the more joyous as well except…..
He'll be back soon.
Traveling by himself was actually quite the opposite experience from traveling with a friend as Finn had been discovering for quite some time now. Not having someone with him led to him getting lost in his thoughts, reflecting one's own flaws, contemplating existential junk, delving into uncomfortable memories…. Fighting bad guys and charging head first into danger always proved to be a good distraction for the human if he didn't have company to keep his mind off of things. Experiencing danger would usually put him in a sort of haze, focusing on just the fighting, the dangerous exploration, the thrill. It never failed to keep him grounded in reality. The only issue was that right now, he wasn't doing any of that.
Before he started to make a mess of his own noggin, Finn caught a glimpse of what he had been searching for in the grasslands. What could be described as a rather large gathering of podiums, tents, tables, all owned and run by traveling merchants, was resting at the edge of the grasslands where the green grass bordered with the pink hues of the Candy Forest. The sounds of bustling crowds and haggling between merchant and buyer filled the air, pulling Finn from his thoughts like he had hoped.
Breaking into a jog, Finn came barreling down a steep hill until he skidded to a stop at the edge of the makeshift marketplace.
"Come get yer fresh potates!"
"Quilts of the highest quality! Made with the finest silk in Ooo!"
"10 gold coins!? What the flip is this!? a robbery!?"
A mixture of shouts and hushed discussions alike filled Finn's ears. He pushed through the crowd, looking for anything that resembled a clothing merchant of any sort. He would take note of a rather large wagon to his right, being run by a few berry people who seemed to have traveled from the Wild Berry Kingdom, selling what seemed to be pies, tarts, and other assortments of sweets. Jake would have likely spent a good amount of time analyzing each and every pie while drooling if he were here. Finn then looked to his left, surprised to see that even subjects from the Fire Kingdom traveled all this way to set up shop, selling what seemed to be freshly forged tools and weapons alike.
While Finn wished he had all the time in the world to peruse the weapons stand or the armor stand, he understood that he had limited time this morning. He had promised Huntress Wizard last time they hung out that head swing by her forest today around noon.
"Globbit, where's all the clothes!? Finnie needs some new pantaloons!"
He said to himself frustratingly. Continuing to walk down the path that the market seemed to naturally form, a certain small podium with a particularly familiar individual caught Finn's attention from the corner of his eye. As he swiveled around, Choose Goose could be seen sitting atop a pillow on top of his modest table of goods, seemingly staring at nothing in particular. Finn loved the guy, but he could never really tell which eye to look at when talking to him. Finn pushed past a few more shoppers who were glad to curse at him or mutter something under their breaths as he squeezed through, until he came to a stop in front of the silly goose.
"Sup! Choose Magoose! Long time no see."
"Ahh! If it isn't my favorite customer! What brings you to my humble shop of odds and ends today?"
Choose Goose said, turning his head awkwardly so that one of his eyes looked in the direction of Finn.
"Oh nothing specifically, Just looking about. I'm kind of in need of some new clothes, but none of these peeps seem to be selling."
Choose Goose brought up one of his noodly arms, waving his finger above his head like he was about to make some kind of huge declaration.
"Fear not great hero for this Goose has the attire you seek!"
"You sell regular clothes!? Like ones for humans?"
"Indeed! With the influx of humans colonizing Ooo, I have taken it upon myself as a merchant to expand my wares for new potential customers."
Choose Goose was obviously referring to the new human city which was being built by the humans that sailed to Ooo from Founder's Island. The individual in charge of overseeing the construction and temporary housing was of course Finn's mother. It really did make him happy deep down that he was able to convince his fellow humans to leave the comfort of the island and find a new life here.
"Well that's pretty neat. What do you have?"
"Feast your eyes! These pants of mine are of my own designs. In these pants you may prance! You may dance and you will not risk your ween being seen!"
"If you say so."
Finn said, chuckling.
Love it when he rhymes.
Choose Goose reached behind the table he sat on, fishing for something within a giant crate. The goose's face lit up when he took hold of what he was looking for and pulled out the product, displaying a pair of pants which sported a color similar to khakis. They also had what seemed to be additional pockets and some padding around the knee areas which were a darker brown color. Choose Goose ran his hand down the leg of the pants, showcasing the material to finn.
"With these pants you shall be able to avoid scraping your knees. You may also say goodbye to pesky small pockets!"
"Dang! Those look pretty rad! Do you have any with a size 28 waist?"
"I do indeed. I have a plethora of sizes."
"That's pretty math. Soooo what'll it cost?"
"Hmmmm, I'd usually charge an arm and a leg, but for you old friend I shall only charge you some effort for entertainment. Sitting here in this market square has been such a drab for this bored Goose. If you would be so kind as to provide some cerebral stimulation, I would be very grateful."
Finn scratched his chin, thinking of something that would serve as a fresh idea. He had done this bit with Choose Goose many times before, so it had to be original. After a moment of pondering, Finn's expression lit up. He mentally thanked Huntress Wizard for training him in the arts of a magical forest ranger within the past year though many people would just call it gymnastics with extra steps. Finn started off by doing a handstand, keeping himself still as he suspended his legs in the air. He then slowly spread his legs out for balance as he removed his left hand from the ground, leaving only his robotic arm as a connecting point to the ground. Finn then engaged the rotation module in his wrist and he began to spin around in circles with ever increasing speed. Just as the speed of his spin began to cause his form to blur, he used all his strength to push himself off the ground and into the air, still spinning. Like a cat, he landed square on his feet and took a bow, causing Choose Goose to laugh hysterically and clap his hands.
"Bravo! Bravo! You have quenched my thirst for entertainment and now you shall have your pants!"
"Algebraic!"
Finn said, giving a thumbs up with both hands, only for his pants to fall down his legs once again.
"Hehe, I think I'll try on those pants now…. And while we're at it, do you also have any blue shirts?"
After spending some time behind some trees, trying on his new clothing, Finn tested the comfort by jumping, stretching, etc. It all fit him like a glove. When he was sure that what he was wearing was to his liking, he stepped back out from the candy trees and walked back over to Choose Goose's shop.
"Gotta say Choose Goose, you never fail to impress."
"Like how I impressed thee when I helped you short stocks in Choco Coin! Hahahaha! Great times."
Choose Goose lifted his hand and pointed at Finn amusedly when he made the claim.
"H-Huh?!"
"You have done a plethora of things when you were kapoot from the hooch during your last birthday. I tried to enlighten you in the arts of commerce and you decided to sell high on Choco Coin which was pretty ballsy I must say!"
Finn was now beginning to panic a little. He knew that he was never able to recollect much from his birthday after getting drunk, but…. creating a stock market account and trading in currency? Finn barely knew how to barter.
What the bjork is Choco Coin?!
"Ummm well, How did I do?"
Finn said with a nervous voice.
"Well to the surprise of most investors, the price of Choco Coin plummeted within a few days of you selling."
"Is that….. good?"
"For almost everyone invested in it? No. For you? Yes. I helped you get connected with a broker and 'cashed' you out to put it simply. Perhaps I may have forgotten to mention that after your birthday."
"Wait, is that why there was suddenly a new pile of gold in my treasure room the next week? I was wondering where that came from."
Choose Goose nodded his head.
"I took half as payment for my services. I personally never trade in Candy Kingdom stocks, the candy citizenry aren't exactly the brightest bunch you could say."
Choose Goose said in a hushed tone.
"Err, well that's good I guess? Thanks again anyway."
"The pleasure is mine, Finn! May the pants serve you well! Oh and tell Jake I said Hello!"
"Will do, buddy."
As Choose Goose said Finn's name out loud, the ever present bustling of some nearby shoppers quieted down and various people began to turn towards Finn.
"Yo, did that guy just say Finn? As in Finn the Human?!"
"Oh ya I think that is him! Look, he's got the hat and everything!"
Various people of candy, fire, and other backgrounds began to crowd around Finn, making him step back and almost lean against Choose Goose's table.
"Hey man can I get an autograph?"
"Hey me too! I'll pay you if you sign my forehead!"
People began shouting over one another as they huddled around Finn. The realization that this would inevitably make it hard for him to make it to the Huntress's forest on time caused a bead of sweat to form on Finn's head.
Oh man. I'm kinda starting to hate fame.
"Worry not dear friend! For I have yet to show you another function of your new trousers!"
Choose Goose lifted his pillow and slammed a big red button that had been hidden beneath it. Finn could hear what sounded like gears turning along with a winding up noise beneath his feat which caused him to look down. It was then that he realized that he was standing on top of a wooden board with an 'X' mark on it.
"Oh glob…"
The next thing Finn was able to register was the fact that he was now flying up into the air, over the market place, and into the grasslands.
"AAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Just as the ground grew closer and the human began thinking he was going to collide with the earth, something happened. What sounded like a large drape unfurling, echoed in the air and when he opened his eyes, he was slowly floating down towards the forest at the other end of the grasslands. He was upside down for some reason and when he looked down or in this case "up" at his legs, his pants were inflated in such a way that they were about 10 times their original size.
"Huh!? What the-!"
Before he could finish his sentence, he made contact with the ground, knocking the air out of his lungs, but at least he wasn't splattered all over the surface thanks to the pants. The pants began to deflate back to their original size, making a noise oddly familiar to Jake's sleeping farts until they were completely deflated. Finn panted as he waited for his heart rate to slow while he laid in the grass, staring up at the sky.
"Inflatable…. Pants….. Neat. This is why I hate shopping…."
He said to himself in between breaths. Finn took a moment and then finally sat up, looking around him. He looked behind him to see that he was at the edge of the forest where Huntress lived conveniently enough. As he started to dust himself off, he heard a voice call down to him from above. He shot his gaze upwards to see Huntress Wizard standing upon a branch with some sort of wild fruit in her hand.
"Quite the entrance you made there Finn. Wish I had a camera."
She said teasingly as she tossed him the fruit. Finn caught the fruit and took a bite out of it before looking back up to her with a goofy grin. He began to climb the tree she was at the top of with relative ease until he made it up to her branch. He shimmied across and sat down next to her.
"Well I'd be lying if I said I wasn't glad you were without one."
He returned. They both began to laugh.
"Are you ready for more training?"
"Heck ya I am."
"Good because today I have something different in mind. Think of it as a "graduation" assignment."
Finn tossed his half eaten fruit and pounded his chest.
"Bring it!"
Finn was breathing heavily as he continued to run along a thin wooden beam, dodging various traps such as spring boards, boulder pendulums, swinging logs, and quite literally any other painful contraption to be hit by. He was beginning to see the makeshift chalk drawn finish line in sight as Huntress Wizard ran, keeping up with him along the branches in the trees overhanging the crafted obstacle course.
"You've got 30 seconds left Finn! Pick up the pace slowpoke!"
"30 seconds!? How am I suppose-!?"
Before he could finish his question, he quickly jumped over a springboard, almost accidentally running over it.
Come on. You've got this Finn. This is nothing compared to everything else you have done.
Finn's own thoughts of pep talk were beginning to work as his pace quickened while he was still able to dodge various traps, utilizing his trained reflexes. Just as the finish line was coming within as little as 12 feet of him, he felt something…. It almost felt as if a presence was nearby, one that he could feel in his bones. Time seemed to slow down and the sounds of the world around him muted as Finn turned his head to confirm the suspicions aroused by his instincts. It was then that he saw her….
Off in the distance, leaning against a tree, looking at him, was a one armed girl with light green skin and dark hair. She was leaning against a tree as her eyes met his. Her expression seemed to exude expectation, an expectation towards him.
Shoko?...
As quickly as he was able to formulate her name in his mind, Finn felt a heavy mass strike him in the side of the ribs, sending him flying off of the wooden beam and into a nearby tree, knocking the wind out of him. His vision was blurry for a bit and he could only make out the muffled shouts of Huntress Wizard growing close to him. The first sense that returned to Finn was his sight and as soon as it did, he looked back over to where he could have sworn he saw Shoko. To his confusion, she was no longer there, gone just as fast as she had appeared.
"Finn! Finn?!"
Huntress Wizard's voice became more clear as Finn lifted his head up to look at her while wincing in pain. A strong expression of concern was drawn upon her features as her emerald green eyes searched his pupils, probably for signs of a concussion.
"Uuuuugh…. what…. happened?"
Finn asked weakly as he gripped the left side of his ribs in response to the act of talking.
"You tell me! You were two feet away from the finish line and then you suddenly just lost focus! That tree log got you pretty good dude!"
Huntress said in a more scolding tone now that she knew he was at least fully aware.
"Ya…. sorry, I thought I saw someone…"
Finn said quietly as he struggled to stand. Huntress kept her arms out, ready to catch him if he fell down, but he managed to stand up after putting a lot of effort into it. He continued holding his side as he let out a long breath, trying to ground himself.
"You lost focus and got hit by a tree log because you thought you saw someone?"
"Well when you put it that way it kinda makes me sound like a dung brain, but ya….. someone I know anyway."
"Annnnd who would that be?"
Finn began shuffling his feet. He wasn't exactly sure how to explain Shoko to Huntress without sounding bananas. Now that he thought about it, he hasn't really brought up his past lives situation with many people. He just never really saw the need to.
"It's just…. Complicated I guess."
Huntress Wizard's expression of irritation and urgency began to soften as she took note of Finn's apparent emotional discomfort.
"Must be some pretty heavy junk huh?"
"Ya… you could say that."
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
Finn would have usually played it off as something dumb or would have simply said he was fine. He always found it a bit hard to open up about a lot of his personal problems. He wasn't sure if it was because he thought that other people already had their own junk to deal wih and adding to their plate wouldn't help anything or if it was because a lot of his bunked up emotional stuff was unpleasant to think about. Something about the sincerity in Huntress Wizard's voice and the soft disarming look in her usually piercing green gaze made Finn consider it though.
"Ok. I think I'd like that."
"Cool, sometimes it helps to talk about things. Before we do that though…"
Huntress gestured towards the part of Finn's torso which he was clutching in pain.
"I need you to take off your shirt."
Finn's first response was to blush and catch his breath in his throat. As he opened his mouth to talk, Huntress Wizard spoke up again.
"To look at your wound, dum dum."
"Oh ya haha."
Finn winced again as he pulled off his shirt. After he did so, Huntress moved in and gently lifted his arm.
"Yeesh, you've got some pretty nasty bruising around your ribs dude."
"Just another hickey from the universe."
"Say what now?"
"Nothin."
She continued examining the bruise and Finn was becoming a little flustered from her closeness. He cursed himself for acting like this to something so simple, even after doing things like casually holding her hand or kissing her for quite some time now.
"Well it's definitely gonna hurt for a while as it heals."
She said as she lightly poked his ribs, testing his pain response.
"But your ribs are…. Not broken? That's surprising."
"Really?"
"Uhhh ya, with how hard that log hit you, your ribs should have totally been shattered, but ... they're not."
She said in slight disbelief.
"Ehh, I probably just got lucky or some biz like that. Maybe you're just overthinking it?"
"Finn, I've seen a lot of injuries in my time and even treated them. Your ribs should definitely be broken, but ya, dwelling on it now is probably useless."
Huntress Wizard stepped back as Finn threw his shirt back on. She then gestured to Finn to follow her which he proceeded to do. Eventually they found a small clearing with a river running through it. They both wandered to the edge of the river and took a seat right next to it.
"Alright so do you wanna talk about what happened back there?"
Finn slowly nodded his head.
"Yup. It might take a bit of explaining though."
End Chapter