AN: As I keep writing, I realize I just really like Pokémon as a game world, and making it realistic all the time is just not for me. Sure there will be some changes, (as in you can't predict a switch or something), but I am going to have a lot more game elements than your usual Pokémon SI.
-Celadon City, 2 years ago-
I never understood Team Rocket's base from an Architectural standpoint.
Matter of fact, it seems all villain bases are filled with stupid gimmicks like teleporters or barf-inducing Spin Tiles. The thought of a building with an ergonomic design must be ludicrous to them.
'Fucking amateurs,' I scowled, going down another set of stairs to a floor that has no directions on where anything is. If this world doesn't have U-shaped staircases I might actually be able to contribute something useful to society.
"Least it wasn't a problem for Red though," I muttered, looking at the scattered Team Rocket grunts on the floor.
They weren't dead. Just unconscious. That's what happens when you have a white-out. Some of them had their eyes open but weren't blinking. Some were as still as a rock but they still breathed. The effects varied from person to person.
Moving towards the closest grunt, I took his Pokeballs and dumped them into my bag before moving onto the next one.
I didn't particularly care about Team Rocket or what they got up to. As an organization, they consistently failed as a whole. Their biggest success was creating Mewtwo but that's overruled by the fact it eventually rebelled. They also failed to recapture it as well.
As a criminal organization, they had short-term successes in taking over cities, but nothing beyond that.
'When did I start thinking taking over a city was a short-term success' I mused, snatching another set of Pokeballs from a trainer.
Saving Pokémon is a profitable business. I understand why there are a lot of folks that want to be Rangers. Team Rocket is Persona Non-Grata, meaning that they are considered undesirable elements by Indigo. Pokémon captured by these unlawful elements are seen as being used against their will, and under normal circumstances, would have never worked with such heinous criminals.
The Pokémon that willingly joined these unsavory elements are considered brainwashed, what they do with them after that is above my paygrade.
Passing by a window, I swipe a hat off of one of the Rocket grunts and smirked evilly into the glass. A brief chuckle escaped me, deciding to keep it on for the moment.
The police haven't been informed of the raid. Red doesn't see the importance of doing so. For him, this is another Tuesday.
It took me another few minutes until I found the room I was only hoping existed.
Team Rocket's Hideout was located under the Game Corner. A thinly-veiled excuse for a casino where you can win prizes when you have enough coins.
But why bother with the casino when you can go straight for winnings?
The room was filled to the brim with Pokeballs. They weren't singled out or anything, there were literally clear boxes of Pokeballs with labels on what the Pokémon were. The TMs were kept in a better condition, each sealed in a plastic envelope.
"Sinastra, Take the Dratini, Scyther & Porygon boxes, let me check the TMs," I called out, my Munna following my order with a little backflip.
'Stealing Pokémon is wrong. Stealing Pokémon from thieves is wrong. But stealing merchandise?' I thought, watching Sinastra glide several boxes of Pokeballs into my bag.
That's fair game.
-Sonia-
To Sonia, there isn't a person more interesting than Cloud. He was the person she admired most in the world barring her grandmother. For as long as they have known each other, he has never ceased to surprise her.
When it came to Pokémon, he knew so much about such rare topics. How the nature of a Pokémon affects their battling capabilities, how to increase the likelihood of finding rare colorations of Pokémon, the average battle capabilities of different Pokémon, and even his knowledge of 'Mythical' Pokémon that don't have a Pokedex entry.
She has continuously tried to push Cloud into becoming a professor. To publish his findings and become a well-respected member in the scientific community. Someone who would still be talked about 100 years from now.
It was vexing that he didn't apply himself. He wasn't interested in becoming a Pokémon Professor despite having the knowledge. It's not that he didn't enjoy talking about it, he just preferred to travel the world, catch Pokémon, and battle than give an in-depth explanation on a rare topic like how unevolved Pokémon learn moves at a faster rate than their evolved counterparts.
There were moments she was tempted to anonymously publish his findings. However, it didn't feel right to her. If it was ever linked to her, she would be a novice on the topics. She wouldn't even know how to prove half the things he talks about.
Most people assumed that Cloud started the podcast. They would be wrong. It was her that convinced Cloud to come onto the stream. That's how it began; He started to talk, the chat asked questions and things went on from there.
Her podcast slowly became his podcast. Slowly making it better by adding in features such as text-to-speech messages in donations. Then a talking cat joined the podcast followed by a suit of armor.
People started to question what he knew. Some outright believed he was making everything up for attention. But slowly, what he knew came to light as inquisitive trainers and professors started to test the things he said. Again and again, he was proven to be correct. And that thought alone made her happy.
She had succeeded in making the world know just how brilliant Cloud was and she couldn't be happier in that regard.
However, just because Cloud was brilliant, doesn't have his flaws. And the one he is showing at the moment?
The incapability of backing down from a stronger opponent.
"So anyway, if you don't know already, Geeta didn't take too kindly to what I said yesterday. And I understand her completely. Honestly, I feel a lot of empathy towards the girl."
Sonia's heart stilled, feeling the slightest bit of hope enter her heart at the words.
"After all, it's hard for people to reconcile with the fact they've wasted their time with a shit team."
And felt it disappear in the same breath.
Slowly, she started to sink into her chair, hoping Cloud would stop in whatever tirade he was about to go on, but knew that it was just an inevitability.
If there was something on his mind, he would talk about it. It's how so many conversations on the Podcast with him get derailed.
"Something you should all know is that not all Pokémon are equal. A Caterpie isn't as strong as a Heracross. Heck, a Butterfree isn't as strong as a Heracross. This is a fact of life. Not all Pokémon are created equal. However, an experienced Butterfree can defeat an inexperienced Heracross." He said, bringing up a picture of the two Pokémon in question.
"This is true for every Pokémon. Disregarding type advantages, the Pokémon that is more trained in battle will be the one that wins. For example, In a fight with a Pidgey & a Spearow, who would you think would win? The Pidgey that has won 10 battles or the Spearow that won 100?"
It was a rhetorical question, nonetheless, chat chose the second option.
"Exactly, the Spearow. Not because they are nasty little shits, but because it's more experienced. But it's hard to put a measure on how much experience a Pokémon has. Impossible to measure it correctly…Or is it?"
Forgetting that the stream was being recorded, she scrambled through her desk for a notebook and pen.
Every so often, Cloud would hint at things that seem next to impossible to prove. Rarely going into an in-depth explanation because he 'doesn't know shit' on the topic. Only to be proven wrong and wrong again and again.
Battle Theory is his specialty. She has seen multiple team sheets displaying several different Pokémon for different tactics. She had seen Pokémon on there that she still wasn't sure existed, but having a man-made legendary Pokémon as a roommate made the idea of them existing a lot more believable. Battle Theory is something he has no problem speaking about whatsoever.
But being able to measure the experience of a Pokémon?
Sonia let her mind ponder on the topic for a brief moment. If he was referring to strength, the first thing that came to her mind was measuring the damage caused by it and then sometime later to see if there was improvement. It would be a lot easier to check with Physical attacking moves but at the same time, Sonia didn't think that was what Cloud was talking about.
"Every Pokémon learn moves in an order. They have access to the move once they reach a milestone in strength. These milestones are broken into smaller milestones where they slowly get stronger in their base states. Let's call these smaller milestone levels. When a Pokémon is born, they are only level 1. Using Charmander as an example. At Level 16, it can evolve into a Charmeleon. And at Level 36, that Charmeleon can become a Charizard. And at Level 62, it learns Flare Blitz, the last move it can learn by leveling up. We can use these milestones to determine the strength of the Charizard."
She blinked in surprise, only now remembering having a similar conversation with Cloud not so long ago. Particularly how Pokémon learn moves in a certain order discounting TMs. But these milestones, these 'levels', it's almost like he is measuring the strength of a Pokémon like it was a video game character.
"Let's say a Champion team is all around level 80, with level 90 being the strongest a Pokémon can become. A level 80 Garchomp would crush a team of level 60 Pokémon 90% of the time. So now that I've caught y'all up to speed. You are probably wondering, 'what does this have to do with Geeta?'" And that question did make her pause.
At the start of the stream, he made an 'apology video' for 'misleading' his audience on why Geeta has a bad team only to explain…how to know how experienced a Pokémon is?
"As you can guess, the higher level a Pokémon is, the stronger it is. So some of you might think that I think her Gogoat, Avalugg & Veluza are lower leveled. They are not, they are probably just as high leveled as the rest of her team."
Okay, she had no idea where he was going with this.
"But that doesn't change the fact they are shit Pokémon."
Ah, there it is.
"Yeah, these Pokémon are fine for 99% of trainers. You know, the ones that say they want to be the strongest, but put in next to no effort in doing so? Those guys. If you want to fight on par with champions, you need a team that a champion would find challenging. Remember how I said an experienced Butterfree can beat an inexperienced Heracross? Well, it's not going to beat an experienced Heracross. Put this logic to Geeta's Pokémon. Gogoat, Avalugg, and Veluza would be the Butterfree in this case." He says, bringing up their stats sheets from the previous night.
"I think I made all the points I wanted to make with Gogoat last night. Alright Pokémon, but Arboliva is just better. So let's move on to Avalugg.
"Avalugg is like an ice cube. Punch an ice cube, it isn't going to break. Drop an ice cube and you can watch it shatter. Same logic applies to Avalugg. Shit special defense, Own Tempo is a useful ability, but not nearly as good as Sturdy. You aren't going to find a sturdy Avalugg anytime soon though, so let me explain better why Baxcalibur is the better Pokémon here." A towering Pokémon that reminded her of Tyranitar appeared on the projector.
"600 Base stat total, 86 better than Avalugg. Good base stats all around, 145 base attack means the other Pokémon is going to get hurt. Glaive Rush as its signature move, very risky on its own but paired with a Dragon Dance, you've got a good tank there. Since Geeta doesn't have a Dragon-type on her team, this helps. But let's move on to the little shit." And Sonia felt a shiver go down her spine.
"The Fucking Fish."
-Cloud-
"If there was ever a Pokémon that deserves to be extinct. It's Veluza," I said, gesturing a hand towards the stat sheet. "Can't battle for shit. 478 Base stat total. Slow as fuck garbage. Doesn't even taste good. They are the sole reason why fishing is banned in Paldea. They are the Zubat of the sea. The Paldea equivalent of Sharpedo." I finished, taking my time to glance at the chat.
[FlowerPower: This hate for Veluza seems very personal]
[Spookwagen: Ivysaur.]
[SweetDreams: I have never seen such a visceral reaction to a Pokémon before. Cloud, I can help you.]
[ThisFire: Cloud is wrong about Geeta. But Cloud is right about Veluza. Veluza are bullies.]
[MayMayhem: I think he is drinking again.]
[S_oxlin: They attack boats as well, don't forget that.]
[MyMindIsMyOwn: Clip.]
[snakE: Cloud on his villain arc right now.]
[Larry: I miss my family.]
[SurfingPikachu: Veluza has led to a few surfing events being canceled. If it makes you feel better, I recommend having it steamed. Since it's flesh regenerates very quickly, you can have nearly 3 times the amount of meat from 1 fish. ]
"Anyway, Veluza is-" I try to say, but I am interrupted by the door opening with a bang.
"Cloud you bastard!" Meowth shouted, and I hurriedly ducked as he threw something full swing at me.
Fortunately, it missed me, but it didn't stop me from flinching when I heard the sound of something ceramic being shattered.
"The fuck did I do?" I shout-asked, still hidden behind the desk.
The wall that took the impact of the cup that Meowth threw at me was no longer the pristine white wall it used to be, now being drenched in a big splat of brown.
'Did that motherfucker just…'
"You started the stream without us! And so early! What the fuck?"
"Motherfucker, you just threw coco at me!" I hissed. "Motherfucker you fucked my wall!"
"It needed repainting anyway!" He barked. "You are shit at streaming solo," He stated, taking his usual spot at the table. "I was falling asleep watching it, then I realized you were streaming without me!"
"Hey if you want to join me for the stream, clean that shit up first!" I said, gesturing towards the wall. "We can talk shit when you're done."
"We have Rotom for that, you idiot," He rolled his eyes, and as if on cue, an orange machine entered the room.
Whatever form Rotom had was unlike any I have seen before. It wasn't a Rotom-Washing Machine, as it had little legs and hands. It walked into the room like it was a crab armed with nothing other than a mop.
"As degrading as this is," Rotom's electronic voice came from the machine. "I can assure you I am used to cleaning up after cats."
"Don't fucking waste cups like that," I scowled anyway. "And throw shit at me again and I'll throw you out the fucking window."
"Sure you will," he rolled his eyes. "We are still streaming by the way."
"Fuck, I forgot about that," I blinked, turning back to see chat going wild.
[SkullDude: Based Meowth?]
[Xx_Oblivion_xX: Mod, please make "MotherfuckerThrewCoco" an emote.]
[FlowerPower: Now that Meowth mentions it, where is Sonia & Cyclone?]
[R0sanNA: I was getting worried there. Seeing Cloud get mad makes me feel sad. ]
[(Mod) Panther: Xx_Oblivion_xX Working on it.]
[Lava: What variation of Rotom is that? I have never seen it. Is this a rare variation of Wash-Rotom? What model was used?]
"So...speaking of a Pokémon that Geeta could use to replace her Veluza," I grinned as a thought came to mind. "Let me introduce you to a true MVP. Meet Rotom!" I said, picking him up for the camera.
"Rotom can change into ow- Fuck!" I started to say, before getting zapped by the Rotom in question.
"Cloud, I am not a battler, but I am your butler." He paused to give me the stink-eye. "However, if you pick me up again and parade me to the camera, I will knock you out and you will stay plastered," he remarked, even hitting me with his mop for good measure.
"What the fuck is this?" I threw my hands up into the air, ignoring the bark of laughter from Meowth. "I am getting bullied in my own house!"
[Xx_Oblivion_xX: Mod, ChadRotom Emote?]
[Gerald_Of_Revea: Help, I'm stuck in the chatbox.]
[(Mod) Panther: Xx_Oblivion_xX It will be done.]
[DJDarkness: Now you know how it feels.]
[MilesAhead: Do all of Cloud's Pokémon talk? Does no one else find this weird?]
[Redfield: Please Cloud, I need you to fuck my sister.]
[IAmAllOfMe: MilesAhead, All Rotom can talk. Ever hear of a Rotom-Dex?]
[22ndPilot: …Has anyone ever seen a drunk Pokémon before?]
"Well then," I frowned. "Shit Meowth, what the fuck was I talking about before you came in?"
"How am I supposed to know that?" He frowned. "I shoulda' aimed for the head, it could have knocked some sense into ya."
"Fuck, you're right." I frowned, before remembering why I picked up Rotom in the first place.
"Oh yeah, a better alternative to Veluza!" I grinned. "Hey Meowth, switch to the next slide?" I ask, getting a nod, and him following up with a stat sheet of one of my favorite Pokémon..
"Dodonzo!" I grinned. "530 Base stat total. It has low speed, special attack, and defense but the rest are really good. Normally, I wouldn't recommend this. But it has Unaware, one of the best abilities there is. It's the biggest fuck you to Dragon Dance, Calm Mind & Swords Dance there is, and I love it! You bring this to a Champion battle and I know you mean business. Good for RestTalk and if you guys ever do double battles, he can be a real powerhouse in those as well."
I nodded again for Meowth to switch to the next slide, only to realize nothing was there.
"Shit, I didn't think far ahead," I muttered, getting Meowth to roll his eyes.
"Good thing we have over a hundred donations here backlogged," Meowth quipped. "This is why ya need me for these things. You didn't even notice something was wrong…" He trailed off, frowning at something on the screen. "Hey Cloud, I thought we were bein' botted before, but that might not be the case," he said, turning the screen towards me. "We apparently have 50000 viewers. We usually get around 3000."
"Oh damn," I whistled. "That's a lot of people."
"It is," he nodded, "We don't usually have this many donations this early on. We should start with them now," he signaled, letting the first donation come through.
[Tera-Rizzer has donated 3,000$]
[Has anyone ever told you how much of a piece of shit you are?]
To Cloud ******
On behalf of the Paldea Pokémon League and Naranje-Uva Academy, I would like to extend our heartfelt thanks for accepting the invitation to engage in a six-on-six Pokémon battle with our esteemed Champion, Geeta.
We are delighted that you have agreed to participate in this momentous event, and we are eagerly looking forward to your presence in Paldea. Your decision to accept this challenge has generated a great deal of excitement among trainers, enthusiasts, and others from all over the region.
The battle is scheduled to take place seven days from now, on the 28th. As we have said in previous correspondence, we are making all the necessary arrangements to ensure your comfort during your stay in Paldea.
Once again, thank you for accepting our invitation. We believe that your participation will contribute to making this battle an unforgettable experience for all involved. Should you have any questions or require any further information before your arrival, please do not hesitate to contact us.
"Seven days from now?" I frowned. "They aren't going to ask me if it suits me first?"
"They wouldn't," Sonia pinched the bridge of her nose. "This is why you don't antagonize government types."
"Have experience with that?"
"Sadly," she admits, and I felt like I kicked a puppy. "I thought they would demand an apology, but it seems like they want you to dig your own grave."
"Hey, they are the ones digging their own grave! If Geeta can't take constructive criticism, that's on her."
"Constructive Criticism?" Geeta mouthed. "Constructive-How the fuck was that constructive?" Sonia exclaimed more incredulous than angry. "You didn't tell her how to improve her current Pokémon moveset or which items to give them, you told her to wipe the slate clean by training those Pokémon and start with 'better' ones."
"Shit, I could have done that," I muttered. "...But why help someone half-way when you can make them go beyond? Plus Ultra and all that shit."
"You are so full of it, it is amazing," she shook her head. "But it's probably for the better that you didn't tell her which items to use. It gives you a bit more of a chance."
"Geeta isn't Leon," I rolled my eyes. "Leon is strong, I've said this before, but the difference between Leon and Geeta is like night and day. I know you think I can't beat Leon. I don't know if I could myself, but this is Geeta we are talking about. I respect Leon's team. I don't respect Geeta's."
"I wasn't comparing you to Leon," she huffed. "But you haven't battled in a while, and you certainly don't plan on using Cyclone."
"Of course, I don't plan on using Psyclone! You think he would let me use him in a battle?" I snorted. "And even if he would, I wouldn't want to win like that. This is a challenge, not a one-sided beat down."
"How brave of you," she smiled cheekily, in which I just rolled my eyes.
"Meowth will probably play commentator. Psyclone will probably threaten to kill me if I start losing. If you want to play Cheerleader, I will fully support you in-"
"I will NOT be cheerleading," she interrupted hotly, "Yamper will be quite happy doing that for the both of us."
"Looks like Yamper is going to be the real MVP once again," I teased, in which Sonia just rolled her eyes, turning back to the computer.
"We have been offered accommodation at the Uva-Naranje Academy. Since the airport is still in development, they are offering a flight to Kalos followed by a direct path to Paldea by boat. We have the option to be met by a delegation or proceedings can follow once you arrive at the Academy."
"Ugh, I hate layovers," I mutter. "It always makes things overcomplicated. Why don't we just…" And right then and there, a thought came to mind.
"Sonia!" I exclaimed. "I'm a genius!"
"Oh no," she groaned. "I can tell this is going to be a bad idea."
"What if I told you we could take a flight directly to Paldea? No layovers, No going to Kalos, no nothing?" I asked, ignoring her previous comment.
"I'd say I'm not flying on any Pokémon," she rolled her eyes, before pausing slightly. "Well if Cyclone can teleport us then-"
"Close, but not quite," I smirked, a plan coming together in my mind.
"Tell me Sonia, have I ever told you the story of how Psyclone got his Pilot's license?"