It's a rare day off for them–well, not all of them. Felix, Chan, and Seungmin are at the office finishing up some recording for their latest song, while Jeongin and Changbin hit the gym before going straight to an afternoon interview/photoshoot for some fitness magazine. Hyunjin is across town, making an appearance at a dance expo before meeting up with the gym boys for the magazine.
Originally, Minho had been planning to tag along to the dance expo with Hyunjin, but when the group were going over their schedules the previous night and he found out that a certain someone didn't have any obligations today, Minho decided that one day off wouldn't hurt anyone. Hyunjin gave him a small amount of grief for it, but got over it quickly enough at the promise of agreeing to film one Tiktok of his choosing with him in the future–something Minho doesn't usually agree to do unless persuaded by Chan or their managers.
Everyone had set off early that morning, save for Minho and Jisung, who by some miracle had no work to get done today. Embarrassingly, Minho hadn't gotten much sleep last night, giddy and restless about getting to spend today at home with Jisung, at least until the others start trickling back in sometime in the late afternoon.
So despite his poor sleep, Minho is up early that morning, sleepily seeing off Chan and the other boys as they head out to breakfast and then the studio, the gym boys and Hyunjin already having left before Minho had managed to pull himself out of bed. Chan asks Minho to make sure Jisung doesn't sleep all day, to which he grunts an affirmative as he waves them out the door. He'll let Jisung sleep in for a while, lord knows the boy needs his rest after working himself past exhaustion the last couple weeks. He pours himself a cup of coffee and settles down on the floor of the living room, taking full advantage of the rare quiet moment alone in the house and allowing himself to slowly wake up as he gazes out the window, watching the sky brighten as he and the rest of the city wake up.
Once he's out of coffee and feeling slightly more human, he makes his way back into the kitchen to start cooking something for breakfast. He decides on something simple, just making some rice and eggs to go along with the kimchi still left in the refrigerator. He sips his second cup of coffee as he prepares everything, cracking eggs into a bowl after washing and starting the rice maker. He's waiting for the frying pan to get hot when he hears the soft patter of socked feet from down the hall, alerting him to Jisung's awakening. Minho's brows raise a bit in shock: it's far earlier than he would've expected him to be up on a day off, glancing at the clock reading only 8:34am. Neither of them are really morning people to begin with, but having such busy schedules has forced them to get pretty good at faking it–provided they're fueled with enough coffee or heavily caffeinated tea. And he had been planning to give Jisung until at least 10am before forcing him out of bed.
The sounds of the bathroom door closing and the shower turning on down the hall accompany the quiet noises Minho makes as he continues leisurely cooking. He breaks a few more eggs into the bowl, figuring Jisung will be hungry when he makes his way out into the living quarters. Feeling fancy, he even dices a green pepper and throws it into the mix–wanting to add just a bit more nutrition now that he's not just cooking for himself.
He's peeling and slicing an apple–because why not–as the eggs sizzle next to him when Jisung finally makes his entrance, mumbling a quick "g'mornin," as he sleepily beelines past Minho to the coffee pot. Minho returns the greeting with a quick smile, which drops almost immediately as he takes a glance towards Jisung, busy preparing his coffee and blissfully unaware of Minho's stare. The boy's hair is still damp and his skin is a light pink from the heat of the shower, his skin nearly glowing thanks to his clear complexion and whatever lotion he's put on after drying off. That's enticing enough by itself, but what has Minho dropping his jaw and nearly dropping the apple and knife in his hands is the outfit Jisung has decided to wear this morning.
Jisung, Minho decides, is testing his patience today.
The oversized gray sweatpants sit loosely on his hips, allowing the waistband of his briefs to peek out over them as he tastes and then stirs another spoonful of sugar into his coffee. His top is a warm, long-sleeved hoodie–cropped at the waist–with a band logo that Minho doesn't recognize but could care less about at the moment because Jisung's fucking waist is out in all it's glory, soft and petite and lovely in every way that drives Minho absolutely insane.
Minho averts his eyes after taking a long look that he hopes Jisung is still too sleepy to notice. He busies himself with cooking as he tries and fails to not think about how sweet and holdable Jisung looks right now, cozy after his shower with his little socked feet and coffee cup held in both hands as he leans against the counter next to Minho.
"You're up early," Minho comments, thanking every God he knows that at least his voice sounds fairly normal, if a bit low from disuse. He plates the sliced apple, safely setting down the knife and moving back over to the frying pan as he licks his lips, suddenly very aware of how dry his mouth is.
Jisung shrugs, the motion briefly exposing an extra inch of skin that of course Minho notices, eyes flicking back over to the eggs in front of him as he flips them.
"Yeah, couldn't get back to sleep, I guess," Jisung says, quirking his lips up playfully. "Plus, you're home today, too, so…" he just hums and takes another sip of his coffee.
He doesn't elaborate, as if that explains anything–that just Minho being here in the house while everyone else is out is reason enough for Jisung to miss out on some much needed rest. That there exists a possibility that maybe Jisung had been looking forward to today just as much as Minho has.
Minho tries not to let it go to his head, and fails miserably.
He offers Jisung a small, somewhat sly smile as he sideyes him, though his heart feels close to bursting with what can only be described as overwhelming glee.
"Yeah? You were eager to hang out with your Hyung, huh?" He teases, taking delight when Jisung scoffs but doesn't try to deny it, lightly smacking his shoulder before moving closer and leaning some of his weight against Minho's shoulder, being careful not to be too rough around the hot stovetop.
Jisung just watches as Minho finishes up the eggs, sipping his coffee and jokingly criticizing the older boy's technique until Minho has enough and swats at him with the spatula, ordering him to be useful and set the table. They work well around each other as Jisung grabs some utensils and bowls for them both, pulling the tub of kimchi from the refrigerator and scooping rice into bowls as Minho carries the eggs and fruit over to the table.
They chat lightly as they eat, Jisung complimenting Minho's cooking and Minho silently basking in the praise and pleasant feeling of feeding someone he cares for. Even when their plates are clear and their coffee mugs run dry, they continue to sit at the table and chat about whatever comes up. Jisung asks why he decided to skip out on going to the dance expo with Hyunjin, knowing it was something they were both looking forward to, and Minho gracefully avoids the truth, claiming his need for a day off outweighing his desire to spend hours trying to keep up with Hyunjin–the social butterfly–as he tries to meet and film dances with every idol he recognizes (and probably some he doesn't.) It's not exactly a lie, anyway, so Minho doesn't feel too bad about kind of throwing Hyunjin under the bus. He's not heartless though, he'll make it up to him later by filming some silly Tiktok dance with him like he promised–something Minho isn't super looking forward to, but willing to do to keep the peace.
The shock of seeing Jisung in the cropped hoodie has mostly worn off by the time they start cleaning up, but that doesn't mean Minho appreciates the view any less. Jisung jumps up suddenly, gathering their dirty dishes before Minho can stop him and pushing his sleeves up to the elbow before getting to work washing them in the sink. He hums softly to himself as he scrubs at the frying pan, hips swaying slightly to the beat of whatever song is running through his head and Minho is so gone for him right now.
If they were dating–but they're not, Minho sternly reminds himself–Minho would easily slide up behind him as he works, pulling him by the exposed waist to hold him against his chest, kneading and tickling his sides until Jisung releases a sweet laugh. He'd join Jisung in his little sways, just enjoying the dulcet tone of his humming as he squeezes him closer, dropping little kisses on his exposed neck just because he can. Maybe Jisung would flick water at him playfully, telling him to knock it off but laughing all the same and Minho would apologize and offer to dry the dishes, but not before placing one last kiss on his cheek, admiring the faint blush that would color Jisungs cheeks and all the way down his neck.
Minho pinches his arm to return to reality, ending the delusion before he can imagine anything else.
He does approach Jisung, but keeps a safe amount of distance between them as he actually does dry the dishes, putting them away as they work so the kitchen is as clean as it was when he started. Minho does not think about how nice this is, how domestic this feels and how much he wants to spend every single morning like this, maybe until he dies.
Nope, certainly not.
They make quick work of cleaning up and soon they're retiring to the living room, Jisung flopping ungracefully to the floor with his arms out, closing his eyes and releasing a tired huff. Minho wonders if he'll fall asleep there, no doubt still tired after waking up so early–and Jisung has a habit anyway of feeling tired right after eating, the two cups of coffee in his system making little difference.
"If you're gonna sleep there, you should just go back to bed, Sungie," Minho says, eyeing the boy knowingly.
Jisung grunts, eyelashes twitching but stubbornly not opening his eyes.
"M'not gonna fall asleep… Just resting my eyes. Put on a show or something," Jisung says, weakly gesturing to the TV.
Jisung doesn't see him roll his eyes, but that's okay. Minho likes to think it's implied by his silence.
Minho spares a long look at him before choosing to take a seat on the couch and tucking his legs up next to him. He puts a show on the TV, some cooking show that he doesn't really care about and turns the volume so low it's barely even a hum in the background. He plays a game on his phone for a while, every so often glancing up to check on Jisung. He can almost tell the exact moment the boy falls asleep, the rise and fall of his chest gradually slowing until he lets out a long breath, his breathing falling into a peaceful and steady rhythm. His mouth parts slightly as his head lolls to one side–towards Minho–face a picture of serenity as Minho nearly forgets the game in his hands, choosing instead to silently ogle the sleeping boy.
It's not lost on him that Jisung trusts him enough to fall asleep in front of him. Minho doesn't want to read into it too much–rationally knows that Jisung probably trusts the other boys just as much–but even that rationality can't keep Minho's heart from aching with fondness over the beautiful boy in front of him. He's so…lovely. So kind and sweet and innocent like this, little snores and sleepy twitches endearing him even more to Minho. He could've chosen to go back to his bed, which is undeniably comfier than the floor, but he chose to fall asleep here instead. In the same room as Minho. Because maybe, even if he's asleep, Jisung would rather be close to him than several rooms away.
Minho's phone drops to his lap so he can bury his face in his hands, the onscreen game text helpfully telling him that he has died.
He likes Jisung, so, so much.
Jisung is just… so earnest. And caring. And just fun to be around. He makes Minho feel lighter when they're together–like he can let himself be carefree and joke without trying to prove anything to anyone. Whether they're in a group or just alone together, Minho is never smiling and laughing and just enjoying himself more than when he's with Jisung. The others notice it too, their constant teasing about how Minho seems to light up when talking with Jisung or filming with Jisung or casually touching with Jisung. He wonders if they already have suspicions about Minho's ever present and developing feelings for Jisung, but if they do, they blessedly don't talk to him about it. Though sometimes it seems like the others are maybe just as happy as Minho is when they watch Jisung and him interact. They certainly encourage it, anyway.
He also likes how easy it is to be vulnerable with Jisung. They talk a lot, about everything, including their stresses and their fears and just how hard it can be to do what they do sometimes. They tease and they joke, but when Minho is struggling through some big emotions, no one is a better listener and confidant than Jisung. He cares and he listens and even if there's nothing to be said, he stays with Minho until he's certain that he's okay. He doesn't make him face big emotions alone.
Minho does the same for Jisung, but it's a bit different. Jisung has a habit of keeping his struggles to himself, much to Minho's displeasure. It's not healthy to keep everything bottled up and while he's definitely gotten better about sharing, while Minho has gotten better about being able to read Jisung's moods and know when and when not to push, it's still something they're working at. Because as much as Minho would like to be, he isn't perfect. He fucks up and sometimes they argue when Minho tries to make Jisung share too much too soon. Sometimes Jisung will say things he doesn't mean because Minho pushes too hard. But they get that about each other and they make the effort to work through it every time. Minho apologizes for pushing and Jisung apologizes for lashing out and they both forgive each other and promise to try and do better next time.
They both understand that feelings are not a burden they have to shoulder by themselves, and they trust each other to treat each shared feeling with the care and compassion that it deserves. And even when their emotions get the best of them and they act out of line, they're able to come back to each other and keep trying to be better. Because they care for each other and value their friendship too much to let the hiccups that come from learning how to communicate better ever be a reason to stop trying.
It's the healthiest friendship he's ever had, Minho realizes.
And that's why it's so scary to be developing stronger feelings towards his best friend, his confidant, and the protector of his deepest emotions.
If Jisung wasn't the person Minho is developing feelings for, he'd love to ask for his input on what he should be doing. He's sure Jisung would have something helpful to say, but even if he didn't, it would just feel better to be able to confide in the person he trusts the most about these confusing feelings for his best friend.
But obviously, he can't do that. Because Jisung is Jisung. And Minho has a big, gay crush on him. And though he's told Jisung some of the scariest, darkest things about him, he can't tell him about this. He can't risk it. Because what if Jisung doesn't like that Minho has feelings for him? What if Jisung feels grossed out, like Minho is coming onto him? Or worse, that Minho had only bared his heart and soul to him and received Jisung's soul in return because he wanted something from him?
Jisung isn't homophobic, Minho knows that. But what if he doesn't want to stay best friends with someone who likes him that way? Who wants to be more than his best friend? Who wants to be in a relationship instead of a friendship?
Minho can't bear the idea of Jisung pushing him away. He doesn't need Jisung to feel the same way about him–he doesn't need Jisung to be in love with him–but he just can't handle the thought that Jisung would end their friendship over Minho's stupid fucking feelings towards him.
Jisung snores loudly as he tosses over in his sleep, startling Minho out of his spiraling thoughts. He hadn't noticed that his hands are shaking in his lap, or that his breaths now come faster and harder than before he started working himself up with thoughts of Jisung. Minho tries to take a deep breath, but it's hard and it feels terrible. He feels terrible.
He's a fucking mess. No wonder Jisung doesn't like him–could never like him like he wants him to.
Minho stares longingly at Jisung's sleeping form, finding that the sight no longer fills him with easy fondness the way it did earlier. He's still just as beautiful, but Minho feels gross for thinking so. He feels gross for having these thoughts about his best friend. His chest feels tight and his limbs are numb and useless where he sits on the couch, but he forces himself to his feet, shaking slightly as blood rushes from his head and he slowly regains feeling in his limbs–was that a panic attack? It's been so long since his last one and Minho has been doing so well with his anxiety; Jisung helping so much these last few months. This…feels like a step back and he hates himself for it. Not Jisung though, never Jisung. It's not his fault that Minho has all these feelings that he has nowhere to put and no one to confide in.
How much longer can he keep this up before Jisung begins to suspect something?
He isn't sure, but he knows he can't continue to sit here. He doesn't want Jisung to see him like this if he wakes up. Minho needs to do something–needs to put some distance between them, at least until he can pretend to be normal again.
Minho pulls a blanket off the back of the couch, gently covering Jisung so he doesn't catch a cold and silently heads down the hall to take his own shower–hoping against hope that the hot water will change him somehow, maybe carry both his anxiety and feelings for Jisung down the drain along with the soap and water.
It doesn't.