Hi everyone, thank you for the great reviews, I really appreciate them. Chapter four just begged to be written. It is ridiculously long. I am sorry. Actually, I have several "fleshed out" preliminary parts of chapters already. Four demanded that I hurry up! LOL
Sylvie and Gabby interact. That dialogue is loosely guided by an interview with Monica Raymund where she was asked what she thought about Brett and Casey. She said she thought that was wrong, there was a "code". Then she said, maybe that was Monica talking because she wouldn't have liked it. She said perhaps Gabby was more evolved, LOL. Without further ado….
"Good morning, how was your meeting with Matt?" Gabby asked. She'd just finished eating scrambled eggs and toast and was fixing him a plate.
"It was good. Gabby, he wants to meet the kids. He wants to talk to you first,' he said. She nodded, anticipating he'd want to do this. Antonio took a deep breath before continuing, "There's something you should know. I gave him the letter." Gabby looked at him quizzically before realizing what he was referring to.
Her eyes got wide, tears springing into them, "Why? Why Antonio? Why would you do that to me?"
Without waiting for a response, she ran to the garbage can and promptly threw up her breakfast.
CHAPTER FOUR
"Gabby, Gabs, calm down," Antonio said as he rushed to her, rubbing her back. "Come sit down, I don't understand why you're so upset. I thought you wanted Matt to meet the kids and know your reasons for not telling him about them."
Gabby grabbed a bottle of water and sat back down at the table. " I do Antonio. But there's so much more in that letter than that I opened my heart up in that letter. I told him things he didn't know while we were married," she said.
"Such as?" he inquired.
"I told him about Shay," she whispered. Antonio waited for her to continue. She took a deep breath before continuing. "We switched places, Tonio. It was my last shift as PIC on 61. We were sent in to help a man on the first floor of the warehouse. I was asking Shay's opinion on how to proceed I reminded her she needed to be able to make the call without me. She said rather than intubate, we should do rescue breaths. We had switched shortly before that and then the explosion happened," her voice trembling as she murmured, "It should have been me, Antonio. I was in that spot and I should have died." Gabby's eyes welling with tears. Even now, after all these years, she could see Shay lying there while she and Kelly tried to resuscitate to no avail.
Antonio jumped up, shocked at her revelation. "Sis, you didn't know what was going to happen. Shay's death isn't your fault. She wouldn't want you living with this guilt. You have to know that."
"In my head, I understand it, but it still hurts my heart," she responded. "I also told him about the guilt I feel over so many things. I was ok with him knowing since I was dead. Now, I feel so exposed," she sighed loudly. " I have to get to work If Eva or Diego can watch the kids tonight, I will reach out to Matt and set up a time to meet him at Molly's. I may as well get it all over with." Gabby figured she may as well pull the band aid off and see everyone who decided to show up tonight.
Matt knocked on Kelly and Stella's door, he opened almost immediately, "Hey, come on in," Kelly said. "What's going on?"
Matt walked in, nodding to Stella as they all sat down. "I met with Antonio last night. The twins are mine," he stated.
"Well, no shit Sherlock," said Stella "The little girl has your eyes. The boy, according to what Kelly told me, not only has your face, but your name. First off, when did it happen and why didn't Dawson let you know?" she inquired.
"It happened when she came to town for the fundraiser almost six years ago. She'd come to see the memorial for Otis. She asked me if I'd be her date for the fundraiser. I honestly wasn't sure if I would, but I felt drawn to her as always," he .voiced. " She was stunning and I still loved her. Long story short, we went to her room and made love even though she was leaving in the morning. I actually left before she woke up. I couldn't handle another goodbye, you know?"
Kelly and Stella both nodding as Matt continued, "She called and left a message inviting me for a visit. I never responded. Three months later, she called again. I told her it should be the last call and we needed to move on without each other. Antonio said she was calling to tell me she was pregnant and wanted to know if it was ok to come home to Chicago," Matt went on to say, "she tried to call one more time, when the twins were born. I didn't answer and she didn't leave a message. He said she accepted she was going to have to raise them alone." Matt stated, soto voce.
"Damn Case, that was about the time when you decided Brett was your girl, right?" Kelly asked. Matt merely nodding in confirmation.
"He gave me a letter she'd written, in case she died," Matt said.
"That seems a bit morose, why would she think that?" asked Stella.
"Our argument, the reason she left, was because of a huge fight we had. We wanted to try for a baby again and saw a doctor when it took a while to conceive. She said Gabby had an aneurysm on her Iliac artery and recommended against her carrying a child. It had a potential to burst, and there was a nine percent chance she could die. She wanted to try anyway and after everything that had happened with Louie, she didn't want to adopt. I pushed and said no to pregnancy, even said she couldn't. It was ugly. She and Brett also had a fight about that time. Three days later, she was headed to Puerto Rico. I did nothing to stop her, not even when she came back to get her stuff. She asked me to come, and I told her I was a 'Chicago Guy' What the hell was I thinking?" he asked rhetorically.
"Sev, she also mentioned Shay. She has said they switched places just before the explosion and that it should have been her who died," Matt revealed. "She's been dealing with this guilt for quite a while."
Kelly's eyes grew wide, his heart constricting, "She couldn't have known that was going to happen! Besides, she helped find the arsonist and damned near lost her life doing it!" He sucked in a deep breath, "I need to make sure she understands that. Shay wouldn't want her living with this." Matt nodding in agreement.
"I sent her a text to let he know I wanted to talk to her. That I want to meet the twins officially," Matt stated. "I'm meeting her at Molly's tonight."
"Does Brett know about all of this?" Stella asked.
Matt nodded in confirmation. "She's not comfortable with it. But I don't think she needs to be there for this meeting."
Stella nodded, "Well, I work tonight It will be good to see her."
"Jason Pelham! What brings you here?" asks Hermann.
"I'm here to celebrate my promotion to Captain and my move to a new house," he says. "Meeting a few people to celebrate."
"Well, congratulations Captain! First drink is on me," Hermann states while being uncharacteristically generous. Hermann waves at Matt,"Hey Casey, how are you doing?"
"I'm good. Meeting someone. I'll be over there," he says pointing to the furthest table. Hermann nodding.
The door opens again, and Stella is positively giddy. She comes from behind the bar to give Gabby a gigantic hug. "You are a sight for sore eyes sister!" she exclaims. Gabby smiles weakly. "Oh, no, none of that crap Dawson," she whispers. "You'll always be my girl. I've got you." Gabby nods as Stella heads back to the bar She quickly returns handing her two beers, pointing in Casey's direction. Gabby accepts them walking towards Matt.
He sees her approaching. She is stunning, dressed in a purple fitted shirt, black jeans and her signature boots. Her makeup is understated, and her hair is in a single French braid hitting the middle of her back. His throat constricts at the sight of her ageless beauty. She hasn't changed a bit.
"Hey," she says setting the beers down. Gabby feels claustrophobic despite the familiar location. "I know you have questions. Where do I start?"
"How about the beginning, where you decide not to tell me I'm going to be a dad?" he says curtly. "Why Gabby?" he asks without allowing her to even say anything. "We were friends long before we were anything else. Why wouldn't my friend tell me?"
"Your friend? She was MIA! Your ex-wife and former lover was terrified when she found out she was pregnant, especially when she was told not to call anymore because you were, moving on! After our night together, I had harbored hopes of a reconciliation. Instead, I get no response to my voicemail AFTER you snuck out of the hotel," she rebutted. "I called again to let you know I'd had the babies early, upon the advice of both my brother and Mills. I figure you saw my number and didn't answer. It was then that I realized I had to do it alone." He didn't d eny the statement.
"Gabby, I'm sorry, If I had known, I would have asked you to come home," Matt replied. "I would have been there for everything. You know I would have."
"I know," she answered. "After you asked that I not call, I just knew you'd moved on Matt, and I couldn't tell you. I tried, but I couldn't say anything, except 'ok" and 'goodbye'. God knows I tried. I just couldn't. I sort of spun out for a few days and then I dusted myself off and pulled myself together. I had no choice," she continued. "I didn't want you to do it out of obligation; or worse, some kind of misguided loyalty."
"Gabby, I…" Matt started to say something, when someone touched his arm.
"Hey babe," Sylvie said, kissing his cheek. "Hello Gabby."
"What are you doing here Sylvie? I asked you not to come, that I needed to talk to Gabby alone," Matt said. He sounded irritated.
"I know, hon, but..."
"No need to be concerned Sylvie. Matt and I were just about to discuss our kids. you don't need to mark your territory. I know who he belongs to now," Gabby commented. "Although, I will admit, it threw me for a loop when I first found out. I thought there was no way my best friend and my ex-husband would get together. That has to be some kind of breech of code, right? Girl code, ex code, something, right?" she asked. "You were at my wedding Brett! You held our son!" she aimed both statements at Sylvie, who ducked her head. She had the grace to look chagrined.
Pelham looked over at the scene, "Hey Hermann, who is that woman talking to Casey? he queried. Hermann looked up, seeing Gabby for the first time.
"That's his ex-wife, one of our silent partners, Gabby Dawson." he answered, "Why?"
"As in Commander Gabriela Dawson, from District 3? Ambo 26?" he asks, with an appreciative whistle.
Hermann nods saying," You'd better watch that whistle mister. She's like a daughter to me and I will have none of that crap."
"No disrespect meant Hermann. I have heard that she is a badass in the field. I just didn't know she was so, ho.." he started before seeing the scowl on Hermann's face. "She is gorgeous." How in the world did Casey let her slip away? he wondered silently.
"She is a badass paramedic and firefighter; she was on 81 trained by me," Hermann says proudly.
"Damn that's impressive. I have been assigned to Rescue 1 in District 3. I start next Monday," says Pelham." I can't wait to see her in action."
"I have no problem with you meeting the kids Matt. I'd like it done slowly. I am not sure about introducing you as their father just yet. Let's play that part by ear, ok? Gabby asks. "They're only four and I want to make sure not to overwhelm them. Is there anything else you need?"
"Do you have any sonogram pictures? Any pictures of you pregnant? I want to see everything, ok?" he asks her. She nods. "I am headed back to Oregon in four days and would like to meet them before then," he requests.
"I have all of that stuff in their baby books. I will bring them when we meet again," she says. "Oh, and Matt, next time, leave your appendage behind." Gabby turns to look at Brett, "I confided so many things. I remember telling you that your Casey was out there. Who knew they'd turn out to be the same man? Congratulations on your engagement. I am happy for you both." With that Gabby left the table heading towards Stella and Hermann.
"There's my girl! Are you ok kid?" Hermann asks. "I'm good." she says biting her lower lip, "Can I have a shot and a beer chaser?" Stella hands her a shot of tequila and a beer, taking a shot with her.
"Commander Dawson?" Pelham inquires. Gabby nods. "I am Jason Pelham. I will be starting on Engine 10 next shift. I wanted to introduce myself. I was a relief lieutenant when Captain Casey left for Oregon."
"Hey Pelham, have you met my girl, Gabby?" Stella asked. Turning to her she says, "He just got promoted to Captainand is here to celebrate."
"Congratulations," she says shyly. "He was in the middle of introducing himself when you came up. He was telling me that he will be joining me on Rescue 1 next shift."
"Hey Pelham," Matt approached. "How are things? Hermann can Brett and I get another drink?"
"Things are good Casey," Pelham replied "I was just telling Commander Dawson that I will be joining her on Rescue 1. I was assigned there starting next shift. May I buy you a drink, Commander?"
"I'd love one. Please, call me Gabby," she says with a smile. She hasn't been on anyone's radar in a long time. It was flattering.
Matt scowled hearing her answer. He had no right to be jealous, so why did it upset him? He looked back at Gabby. She was more beautiful than ever. It made his throat constrict. She's not his anymore. He was with Brett. Gabby had his babies, that was enough. It had to be.
Ok so that's the end of a very long chapter four. I am so sorry. I just couldn't stop it. This is definitely AU since Brett and Casey get married soon in the actual arc.