Chapter 5
Shepard awoke with the mother of all headaches. She sighed in relief as she felt a cold, damp cloth come to rest on her forehead before she had the chance to articulate how she felt.
"Whoever did that I will now gladly have your babies." Shepard said
"Jeez at least take me out to dinner first." a very familiar voice said. Her eyes shot open and she looked up to see that her gaze was being met with a pair of vivid, mirth-filled green eyes.
"Harry!" She shouted, sitting up and leaning forward to hug him, ignoring how the abrupt movement made the world spin.
"Easy love. You seem ok but we don't know what happened down there. Think you can drink some water?" Harry asked. At that she realized how parched she was.
"Please." She said, accepting the cup and taking a sip.
"Why were you near Eden Prime?" Jane asked.
"I wasn't. Your new friend there decided to kidnap me and my Asari friend." Harry said, gesturing above her. She looked up and saw a beautiful, red, swan-sized bird looking down at her with what she could only interpret as fondness in its eyes.
"Is that a Phoenix?" Shepard asked. The bird trilled, to her it sounded like laughter.
"Don't make, fun she's not feeling well. Jane this isn't just any phoenix. Meet Fawkes." Harry said. Jane gaped at him
"Fawkes?" She said. He trilled, and to Shepard's amazement the remnant of her headache vanished as she heard the bird song.
"I can only assume since I don't speak phoenix, Fawkes please correct me if I'm wrong, but I think since you and I are linked through that wand, and it has his feather, he was able to feel your need for help and bring me to you." Harry said. Fawkes trilled excitedly. Harry laughed.
"I'm two centuries old, my friend. I've learned a thing or two." Harry said, caressing Fawkes' feathers. He leaned into Harry's touch.
"I thought he disappeared when Dumbledore died." Shepard said. To her astonishment Fawkes rolled his eyes.
"I don't think Fawkes was ever Albus' familiar. He did a great many amazing things, and he did them with love in his heart but heh ad too much darkness in his soul for a phoenix to bond with him." Harry said. Fawkes bobbed his head.
"Wait, souls are a thing?" Jane said, surprised since Harry and she were both agnostic.
"Well I think the word soul is adequate shorthand for a concept that we mortals... well you mortals cannot comprehend directly. I know Ghosts ar real, you've met Sir Nicholas. Whether that is truly the essence of what was once Sir Nicholas or a simple echo within reality, I have no idea. I hang out with Death all the time, but once again, is she truly a being, or my feeble human mind inventing something to conceptualize an incomprehensible truth of nature?" Harry said
"That's profound..." Jane said. Harry ruined the moment by belching.
"I'm profound as hell." Harry said with a grin, Fawkes nearly fell over laughing.
"So, I'll wait for the explanation until David gets here so you don't have to repeat it, but do you feel ok?" Harry asked. Jane pondered.
"My headache is gone, Thanks , Fawkes." Jane said. Fawkes trilled happily.
"Aside from that I feel.. It's weird, like I've learned something, but have no idea what it is. Kinda like that time I stayed up all night for a transfiguration test and failed because I couldn't remember anything." Shepard said. Harry nodded.
"Without going into too much detail I think the beacon downloaded something into your brain. Something incompatible with human nervous systems. Karin has more information, I didn't go poking around in your charts." Harry said
"Harry you know I trust you with all of that." Jane said. Harry nodded
"I know, and it's because I don't do shit like snooping through your private affairs." Harry said with a grin.
"So Fawkes, are you going to stick around for a while? Harry asked, offering his arm to Fawkes. Fawkes jumped down and stood on Jane's chest, lowering his head so that his eyes were level with hers.
"Ooh great choice old friend!" Harry said to Fawkes.
"Wha?" Jane asked before a shiver racked through her body and hers and Fawkes' eyes glowed.
"What was that?" Jane asked.
"Fawkes has chosen to become your familiar, though really with a being of his stature you're kind of each other's familiar. It's weird with phoenixes. It's actually an incredible honor to be chosen by a phoenix,though don't say that too much in front of him, he's a conceited little buzzard." Harry said, dodging Fawkes' wing as he tried to smack him in retaliation. Harry laughed.
"Seriously though, Fawkes is an amazing being and I cannot be happier that he has chosen you." Harry said.
"Why didn't he chose you?" Jane asked. Harry shrugged.
"I'm not sure. I suspect he was simply waiting for you." Harry said. At that point Dr. Chakwas entered the room and Harry automatically stepped aside to examine Jane.
"I'm fairly certain I didn't see you board this ship with a phoenix, Lieutenant Commander." Karin said, fondly caressing Fawkes' feathers.
"It's a weird situation, I can explain later. What's the verdict, am I going to make it?" Jane asked. Karin looked at her omnitool which was projected from her left forearm while waving her wand over Jane with the right.
"Your cortisol levels are high, but they are dropping, otherwise you're healthy. I'll let Captain Anderson know you're fit for a debrief." Chakwas said before turning to look at Harry.
"Oh, hello Harry." She said with a sultry look.
"Hi Karin. You're ravishing as always." Harry said with a seductive grin.
"Oh stop it, I'm ancient now." Karin said
"And if anything you've become more beautiful with age." Harry said, taking her hand and kissing her knuckles. Jane very much did not like watching that back and forth.
"I very much doubt Elizabeth would appreciate you flirting with me, Harry." Karin said with a grin that was betrayed by the blush on her face.
"I would never dream of standing between you two. I did however miss making you blush." Harry said. Karin smacked him on the arm.
"Stop it, you or I'll tell Elizabeth that you're harassing me." Chakwas said.
"I'll be good..." Harry said, suddenly meek.
"That's what I thought. I'll leave you to it." Chakwas said, turning and walking out of the room.
"What as that about?" Jane asked. Harry grinned.
"Karin and I had a bit of a fling about twenty years ago, It was never anything serious. Then she met Elizabeth, and the two have been married for seventeen years now. I attended their wedding." Harry explained. Shepard sighed in relief internally.
"It's great, because Karin is kind of a prude, so when we get together Elizabeth and I like to wind her up. Last time she almost choked on her wine when Elizabeth jokingly proposed a threesome." Harry said. Jane laughed.
"Why did you stop when she threatened to tell Elizabeth on you though?" Jane asked. Harry laughed.
"Elizabeth Chakwas comes from a long line of healers, probably going back to the Renaissance. Her ancestor was Poppy Pomfrey, and she has most certainly inherited the woman's sadism when it comes to disgusting potions." Harry said. As though he were waiting for their conversation to finish, Anderson walked through and saluted Harry upon seeing him.
"Dave this is your ship." Harry said grinning while returning the salute.
"Old habits. Shepard, how are you feeling?" Anderson asked.
"Better, thanks to Fawkes here." Jane said, gesturing at the bird.
"I don't recall giving you permission to bring a pet aboard, Shepard." Anderson said with a grin.
"He's my familiar now sir, and I didn't bring him, Harry did." Jane said pointing a finger at Harry
"Nuh-uh, he brought Dr. T'soni and I here." Harry said pointing at Fawkes. Fawkes just squawked indignantly. Anderson laughed.
"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I'll requisition a perch for you when it's convenient. In the meantime I think the cargo bay will be suitable, plenty of places for you to perch." Anderson said, addressing the ancient bird. Fawkes trilled and flew over to Anderson, bumping his head with his before disappearing in a flash of flame.
"I'll have the familiar exception paperwork over later, in the meantime do you feel up for a debrief?" Anderson asked. Jane nodded and went to stand.
"Take it easy Jane. Captain Anderson and I will step out so you can get dressed, Karin is right over there ok? Nobody's sure what happened, we don't want to go too fast too soon." Harry said.
"Understood, Sir. Thank you." Shepard said. Harry and Anderson walked out and The latter turned to the former.
"Dave?" Anderson asked. Harry shrugged
"I can call you David or Captain Anderson if you'd prefer." Harry offered
"No I like it. Nobody's called me Dave since primary school. Any ideas what happened back there?" Anderson asked.
"Not a clue. We know little about the Protheans, I think it dumped some information into her brain that she wasn't ready for. I'm going to ask Karin to see if Elizabeth can swing by the citadel and do some magical scans, for all we know that might have been a tricky bit of magic that hit her." Harry said.
"Agreed. Dr. Chakwas seems to think she's fit for duty." Anderson said. Harry nodded.
"I defer to hers and Jane's judgment." Harry said. The door slid open and Jane stepped out, joining the two higher ranked officers as they made their way to the debriefing room. When they passed through the CIC, Pressley shouted 'Admiral on deck!' causing everyone to stop and salute him. Harry sighed.
"At ease, all of you. I appreciate the courtesy but from now on there will be none of that. I don't want you distracted from your duties just because I'm an admiral and I walked through, understood?" Harry said
"Yes, Sir!" Everyone said. Pressley glowered at him as they continued on their way into the lift.
"Dave?" Harry said.
"Yes?" Anderson said
"That guy at navigation, he's... how do I put this politely... a complete and utter bellend." Harry said, causing Jane to laugh so hard she snorted. Anderson chose to ignore that because he was laughing almost as hard.
"What makes you say that?." Anderson asked after calming himself. Harry punched in some commands into his omnitool and brought up a disturbingly long list of complaints and disciplinary actions.
"Here's just a sample." Harry said. Anderson's eyes widened.
"None of that was on his dossier when I assigned him!" Anderson said, shocked. Harry nodded.
"I wondered about that so I did a little digging. Looks like Daddy knows a senator. Most of this was "redacted" from his records. My credentials allowed me to see the originals. Oh, also, Janey, uh you didn't see this." Harry said with a grin.
"That's appalling! Right there, straight up sexual assault!" Jane observed. Harry nodded.
"He's also been reported dozens of times for using racist slurs, against both Humans and Non-Humans. He also tends to assign those of Afro-Caribbean descent to dangerous or undesirable tasks. " Harry said.
"Damn. The worst part is he's a damn good navigator. It's not worth it though." Anderson said. Harry nodded.
"Dave I don't like doing this on a ship commanded by a friend, but it'll go through a lot faster and cleaner if I do. I want his ass off this ship as soon as we dock with the citadel. Before if we catch him in the act. You can consider that an order." Harry said.
"Understood, Sir. I'll push the paperwork at once." Anderson said.
"I'll pull some strings and get the best navigator I can find for you." Harry said
"That would be appreciated. Gardner can step in in the meantime." Anderson said
"Jesus is there anything that guy can't do?" Harry asked with a grin.
"Yeah, he can't make a soup that doesn't taste like boiled ass." Anderson said, laughing.