Sitting at his desk near the window in one of the rooms that have been so graciously given to him by the Greene family Ezra watches the clouds. His emotions are jittery and his leg shaking as he waits and waits.
Waits, every day since he has been at this farm, just waiting each time Otis goes hunting, and every time he is filled with trepidation.
Today is no different.
"Ezzy'!" Maggie's voice catches him off guard and breaks him out of his thoughts, his blonde curls bounce as he shifts towards the call of his name.
His eyes shift from the blue sky to the door.
"Yeah?" He yells back with his Midwestern accent, softer to her thick Georgian accent.
"Why do ya' have the door locked, you masturbatin' in there or somethin'?" Maggie, his childhood best friend, and sister in all but blood. He doesn't think he'd have survived the tough years of high school, nor the enviable doom that awaits them if Maggie was in his life.
Letting out a mock gasp of offense he swings himself out of his chair, shaking his bangs out of his face as he goes to unlock the door.
Opening the door he gives her a sheepish grin, "Sorry I'm so used to doing it with my foster family, ya know how they can be." He offers her only to be given a raised brow.
Thankfully, Maggie just rolls her green eyes spinning on her heel, absently letting him know he stinks, and yelling out that breakfast is gonna be ready as she goes back downstairs.
"Alright, thank you!" He calls out as he heads to the shower.
Ever so grateful to be in Hershel's good graces. The man is surprisingly accepting of his sexuality.
And he's thankful 'cause a hot shower is something he is gonna milk for as long as he can.
Turning on the faucet, he reaches for his razor while letting it warm and grabs a bar of soap, having run out of cream a couple of weeks ago, and isn't willing to risk his ass for something so tedious. Stepping into the stream he picks up the handheld mirror and starts his morning routine, after a few minutes he finishes the last part of his face. Ezra's mind races as he dries off and gets ready.
His thoughts were drawn to the little girl from the beginning of the show, whose fate was sealed because the actress's contract had terminated.
Sophie? He thinks that's her character's name, but after years of living in a new life, he decided long ago that it was easier to just remember the key events as he is going to try to avoid a lot of the hellish shit that happens.
Unfortunately, hindsight only works if it stays the same.
Back to the little girl, he hopes that at least she is the comic version and isn't running for her life.
If he were a better person he'd have taken the risk to search for her.
An image of her running for her life or in the barn right now with the others makes him nauseous.
Yeah, the barn thing is another pile of shit he doesn't even want to touch with a ten-foot pole.
Shaking his head with a grunt he reaches down and tightens the strings on his boots.
It's not his responsibility and he's not gonna risk himself for a child he doesn't even know nor can he be sure he'd even save her.
Is it wrong of him to be selfish or is it only survival?
How is it evil to not want to die?
'How is it not evil to let a child die?' His mind whispers cynically.
He makes his way down and runs into Patricia.
"Good morning, ma'am looking fresh today," He says with a wink while offering his arm to escort her down and into the kitchen where the rest of the family is sitting.
She chuckles lightly into her cuff as she takes his offer arm, "My heart, bless you and your charm"
"How are you doing on this fine morning sugar?" Her southern accent is like velvet to his ears as she ends up escorting him with her preppy step.
"I'm fine ma'am," he answers truthfully, letting her go first, " I'm just wary of what's to come, but not wanting to dwell on it all the same ya know." He shrugs, mindful of her grip.
She nods beside him, her frail hand small in his, and he's not even that big of a guy. "I know, it's a scary time we're in, but by the will of god I know we will be fine." She says after a second of silence squeezing his fingers before letting go.
An image of her being bitten as the barn burns in the background flickers in my mind.
"Yeah," is all he says, and is thankfully distracted by the greeting of the others.
"Hello little Bethy," he says with a playful wink to his favorite Greene, feeling mirth as her beau twitches as she flushes in response to the silly nickname.
It's been a running joke of the little crush she had on him when he first befriended Maggie. Too bad for her she is too young and the wrong gender.
A few hours later finds him working out in the blazing Georgian heat.
He warily glances at the barn as he pushes the manual mower they use to preserve the gas they have. If he were to just sit there and listen he knows he would be able to hear them shuffle and growl. He wonders if the little girl he-
No, he's not gonna think about that he thinks while
Squinting he looks up after wiping the sweat out of his eyes glaring at the roasting beating sun feeling like he's gonna die.
Thank the lord, this is his last chore so he can go back in.
Just as he finishes he hears his name being called, "Ezra! Son, can you give me a hand." Hersel yells from the house.
"Yeah!" He yells back only to spot a figure running through the tree line and curses.
"Hey! Hersel we have company!" He yells.
"And so it begins," he thinks, watching as Rick frantically tries to gain their attention.
Shane doesn't remember much after Carl got shot. He had been in a sort of dissociated daze.
All he remembers is some lady on a horse and the feeling of failing at keeping Carl safe, one of the only things that has kept him going in this hell hole.
Between the overwhelming guilt of leaving Rick and then the shame of taking the ever so easy offered comfort with his best friend's wife not even weeks after leaving him to die, only for Rick to somehow find them, just as things had settled.
Well, he now knows the quarry wasn't an everlasting place, but still…
Letting the hot water run across his head he allows all the shit to wash off, just in here, by himself.
He hears a knock on the other side of the door, and the vaguely familiar voice of the younger man, he remembers hearing that same voice shouting out orders with a command only those who work under high stress to help the veteran save Carl.
"-saw you forgot a pair of clothes," he only catches the tail end of the muffled response from the noise of the shower and the obstruction from the door, so he just shouts for them to come in, he's never been a shy person.
He peers through the fogged glass as the door opens and Ezra, if he can remember right, walks in. Shane can just make out the smaller man checking him out and does a quick sweep of his body, which makes him feel smug, and feels a smile draw across his mouth.
He hasn't felt the need to smile lately. That itself makes him feel even shittier, wishing his best friend dead so he feels useful again.
"Uh, sorry, I just thought you would like to change into something more comfortable, even if it's just for tonight." The other stutters out while keeping his gaze respectfully on the floor.
Is that a delectable flush creeping up his cheeks?
Watching the other swiftly make his way out of the bathroom with a little clearer look in his eyes, some of the mania receding at the interaction.
"Thank you," he murmurs, his lip twitching as he dips his head back under the water.
A/n:
Sorry for jumping right in with it, and skipping the whole Carl surgery and Shane killing Otis plot.
Ezra wouldn't have added much to either scenes and I don't like rewriting the same scenes we all know without any changes.
I'm kinda setting up the romance aspect in the beginning.
For explanation, Ezra is from this world and has lived his whole new life while gradually regaining his previous memories as he grew into a teenager.
He doesn't remember much other than the big plot points, and spent so long denying the existence of his current situation until it was too late.
With Shane, we see he isn't above sleeping with anyone despite being hung up on Lori, which to me is more about the lack of control he has in the new world than actually having anything to do with Lori or their relationship. In my opinion shane was feeling like his place in the new world wasn't his and seeing his best friend Walk in and take over like nothing… well I can see why he went off the rails, not condoning his actions.
It's just I wonder what the situation would be like if someone actually looked at it from his perspective instead of purely vilifying him.
Sorry for the rant, I adore Shane (and find his actor one of the hottest men in media) and honestly think he had the right mentality if a little skewed. He was better prepared for the harshness of the world, but he didn't have the support Rick had and it toppled his psyche.