It was Monday.
The start of a new school week, and the start of a whole new set of anxieties.
The longer Alice and Edward stayed away the more my thoughts drifted of their own volition, and the more I spiraled into fantasy.
Would Alice still talk to me? Spend time with me? For some reason, things felt different now.
Perhaps she would sense my obsessive curiosity. My hesitance to believe that they were all what they said they were?
Perhaps, it would only serve to scare her away.
This last, and most horrifying thought, wouldn't surprise me, but it'd certainly hurt. I imagined I was spending far more time thinking about her than she was ever thinking about me.
Any normal person with a modicum of self-preservation, would run screaming for the hills if they were given a bird's eye view into my mind right now. It was a spiderweb. A detective's pinboard. Each tangled web - link in the chain - leading back to Alice.
I gritted my teeth, trying not to groan in frustration. Dammit!
I couldn't see any of the Cullens through the throng of students; I craned my neck, trying, and failing, to spy them out through the jostling waves of impatient bodies.
Another no show and another day without her. Great.
We were gearing up for a field trip today. Mr. Banner had booked out all periods just to show us some plants and, with much enthusiasm on his part, compost.
I couldn't say I was too excited to play with worms and moldy potato peels, but at least it was something different.
I hadn't been sleeping well since Alice disappeared off the face of the earth. I felt restless and uncomfortable. When she disappeared, she'd somehow taken a part of me with her.
I'd also dreamt odd dreams. Nightmares. Blood the one constant; The one thing linking each and every dream - each nightmare - together.
Whether it was Alice standing over my bed with sharpened fangs, or Edward, it would always end in pools of blood, and my sweaty tumbling body flying out of bed to meet worn carpet.
This morning's dream was the weirdest of them all.
All of them were there. Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper. And, of course, Alice.
Their eyes glowed a startling claret as they crept towards me from the dark. Edward stood in the lead, beckoning them all forward, his eyes the hungriest of them all. His teeth flecked with what I could only describe as... venom?
But it wasn't what had been in the dream that was strange, but what had come after.
I'd woken up in the early hours as if I'd been yanked awake by an invisible force.
The smell of lilac coated my pillow while his blood-red eyes still seared behind my eyelids. A part of me wanted to scream, but I was awake. The danger had passed. And, yet, it didn't feel that way. Not at all.
It felt like he was still there. Somewhere in the periphery. Just out of grasp.
I couldn't shake the feeling of being watched the whole morning.
When I'd gotten ready to leave for school, the scent of lilac remained thick in the air. I'd never dreamt of something so real before.
I figured my obsession was finally reaching its fullest conclusion; I had gone insane.
Oh well. There was nothing for it, really.
I swallowed hard and stumbled my way onto the bus, kicking my feet all the way.
I spotted Jessica towards the back. She'd forced Mike into a corner so that he had no other choice but to sit with her. This was in spite of all the longing looks he threw my way.
I found a seat somewhere in the middle - not too far from everybody but not too close. Once I'd gotten settled the bus began to fill up pretty quickly, empty seats becoming far and few between.
Soon, fewer and fewer students trickled in through the narrow glass doors. Nobody seemed to want to sit next to me so I chucked my bag on the free seat that Mike undoubtedly wished he could fill. I really owed Jessica.
Completely contented with the unintentional alienation, I leaned back and took advantage of the headrest. Maybe I'd pull out my notebook later and do some light revision?
The vehicle remained idle in the parking bay - the soft rumble of a warming engine vibrating underfoot. We should have gotten moving by now.
I peered down the aisle. No dice.
I let out a disgruntled sigh and looked back out the window.
Oh.
As if it could have been anything, or anyone, else.
"Alice," I breathed.
The chattering of students drowned into nothing, and all I could focus on was the snow-white trio that gracefully made their way over to the line of waiting coaches.
They stopped briefly to mutter a few things amongst themselves, their heads drawn and close together. I watched as Jasper and Edward made eye contact. The pained boy gave a subtle nod and Edward appeared to grimace.
Jasper looked more in control than usual, if those were even the right words for it. He held himself differently. Like he'd been preparing for something - drawing in his mania until it was neatly hidden beneath a porcelain mask.
For a fraction of a second, Edward's piercing gaze landed on me. I couldn't help digging my nails into my thighs, my body suddenly going rigid. His eyes were a gilded, vibrant, gold. The change both disturbed and comforted me, and I couldn't explain why. After Jasper placed a hand on his shoulder, the eye contact was broken and he abruptly turned to leave for the other bus.
I let out a long breath, one I didn't know I'd been holding.
My eyes settled on the last, and the most important, Cullen. She watched me for a moment through the fog-covered windows, a dazzling smile the last thing I saw before she danced onboard.
I gripped a little tighter onto the armrests of my seat, following her every move as she glided down the aisle until she stood directly in front of me - her eyes locked and penetrating.
As I stared, scrabbling for the right words to say to this- this... angel that patiently loomed, I was utterly betrayed. My throat closed up, and each thought that ghosted through my mind turned to miasma before I could latch on and make use of any one of them.
I was a frantic blushing mess.
I'd been so ready for their return, so enamored with the very concept, that I'd failed to take note of what that might mean. The illusion of control - the belief in misguided detective work - an unintentional ruse that had distracted me from utter powerlessness. I'd somehow forgotten how totally under her spell I was!
Any hopes I had of trying to think of something to say or do, was totally superseded by my blank stare and ragged breaths.
"Although I can see that your bag is, quite rightly, of great importance, and no doubt deserves a seat of its own, I was hoping, if you might be so kind, that you would move it so I could sit down? There is nowhere else. Well, nowhere else that I would rather sit, anyway. Bus rides are super boring without a stimulating companion to share the journey with, no?"
Her joking - her flirtation - was completely lost on me. Thankfully, there was just enough power remaining in my misfiring neurons to heed her request.
I shook out a haphazard nod and hurriedly dragged my bag to the floor, letting it awkwardly thump down by my feet.
She floated down next to me, her arm rubbing up against mine as she got herself settled. She was, or seemed to be, completely oblivious to the butterflies bouncing around in my stomach. I thought it was all very obvious, personally.
She turned to me and beamed so brilliantly that I thought I'd be blinded if I looked for too long. I quickly dropped my head to gaze down at my fidgeting fingers.
"Sorry that I was not in school all week," Alice said gently, her surprising softness drawing my attention, "Not that you would really worry about that."
She looked at her clasped hands - a calm contradiction to my nervous digits, "Anyway, my brother and I fell ill. Funny how that happens. The rest of my family were completely unaffected, but there we were... battling it out."
"Why wouldn't I worry?" The words darted out of my mouth, bordering on unintelligible. I would have internally reprimanded myself if it hadn't been for Alice's expression.
For the first time, nervousness colored her features.
"Oh?" She looked up through her lashes, a shy smile parting her lips.
"Well, you... You promised we'd get to know each other better and then when- when you were gone for the rest of the week, I thought I'd done something wrong! I know it's stupid. But something just didn't seem right," I floundered.
"Then, as I see it, you have no need to fret, any longer. As you can see I am fully recovered," She gestured toward herself with dramatic flair, my eyes instinctively wandering over her blue puffer jacket and the black, skin-tight, V-neck cardigan that she wore underneath it.
"And, I must stress to you, Bella... You did absolutely nothing wrong. We are - you and I - perfectly fine. More than that, actually."
I knew I was reading into things. I knew that I was falling into fantasies that should remain in their rightful place; overly dramatic, trashy, YA novels... but I couldn't help it.
The ideas, the thoughts, the dreams. They were all there before I had the chance to feel or hope for anything else.
It thrilled me to hear her speak of togetherness... As if there could be an us. As if we could ever be thought of, and defined, as something that was united or connected.
"You know, there's a lot that I've wanted to ask you," I angled my body to face her, eagerness and long-bubbling curiosity overriding fear.
"I bet you have," She breathed, once again a flash of nervousness shifting over porcelain, "Let us leave those questions for a later time, shall we? Right now I just want to enjoy this trip. Enjoy it with you."
I gulped, falling back into my chair.
I hadn't expected the last admission to flood my body with warmth, leaving my fingers tingling and heart thumping.
I guess, despite my giving up so easily, there were some small victories... right?
She had, in no small part, admitted that my questions were warranted, insinuating that there was something worthy of uncovering.
On the other hand, she'd also unashamedly shared her desire to spend time with me - at least for the day.
Two pieces of information.
So unassuming.
So delightfully exhilarating.
Perhaps wanting to drive her point home, or distract me from pursuing a bombardment of questions regardless, Alice eased forward.
I sucked in a huge lungful of air as her cool fingers graced my cheek - cold and warmth fighting for dominion.
I stared at her, wide-eyed and dry mouthed. Her eyes flicked up to mine briefly before tracing a path over my features.
Slowly, hesitating for the smallest moment, she moved closer; She seemed to be bidden by things well out of her control.
Oh.
Her lips brushed the base of my jaw.
It hadn't been long - almost insignificant, really - but her soft unyielding lips left their blissful, and noticeable, mark on my skin. I could still feel her when she pulled away.
Still smell the lavender. Honeysuckle. The cinnamon.
Still feel the contour of her lips pressed against my starkly warm flesh.
I was spinning. The minutest of touches sending me over the edge. I figured it was the daze that ensued after her innocent little peck, but I didn't push further. There was no room in my brain to pester or investigate. There was only room for Alice.
"So, what have I missed?" She grinned giddily, her eyes flashing with something bright. Almost... Triumphantly?
"Huh?" I gaped dumbly.
"You know, since I have been anyway? Any hot goss'?" She laughed before sucking her lower lip into her mouth, her renewed scrutiny making a shiver roll down my spine.
"Oh! Uh, not much, actually. We have a few take-home quizzes due this Friday, and, I don't know why, but chains are now banned."
"Ew, homework. Truly the bane of my neverending existence," Alice wrinkled her nose, "Wait. Chains? What are we talking here. Chain-link fences? Chains in general?"
"I think, um... I mean, the ones that people were wearing on their pants?" I mumbled, eyes downcast, "Apparently they are a safety hazard. Personally, I think the principal just thinks they're ugly.
I sunk my teeth into my lower lip. Her eyes watched the movement until I released swollen flesh with a pop.
Her eyes snapped back to mine, the heat of it making my throat bob.
"Well, that is for the best, I think," As quickly as the heat had come it just as quickly dissipated, her tone light and her gaze becoming inscrutable, "I always thought that trend was so terribly tacky."
"Ah," I smirked, pulling back to get a better view of her, "You're a fashion snob, aren't you? It all makes so much sense now."
Her clothes - although far from outlandish - still screamed 'designer'. In fact, all of her siblings were dressed to the nines. The stitching was meticulous, the fabrics well chosen, as was the care placed in layering and matching complimenting colors.
From a distance, her simple ensemble blended in, but on much closer inspection, it was apparent that her tastes were too fine to truly 'fit'.
"Hey!" Her eyes widened, a smile prickling at the corner of her mouth, "I am not a snob! Just an... enthusiast."
I shook my head and looked down at my hands with a smile
When I lifted my eyes to hers again, her gaze was, as always, unwavering. I'd expected companionable amusement, but instead, the look she was giving me, it was so much more than that.
It was soft. Unbelievably gentle. But, there was also something else.
Something that rippled beneath the golden depths. A warmth that I just couldn't place... yet, also, couldn't get enough of.
She pushed me to talk more about my family. About Charlie. Taking complete advantage of my dazed vulnerability.
"Wait," She interrupted me, closing her eyes briefly in disbelief, "You like that? You like that he hardly shows an interest in your life?"
"No, that's not what I said."
Suddenly feeling defensive, I crossed my arms over my chest, "He does care. A lot, actually. I just like that he doesn't hover and force his way into my life uninvited. He trusts that I'll go to him if it's important. It's nice to have someone respect your personal autonomy..."
"Oh," She paused for a moment, looking pensive, "I suppose that does kind of make sense. I still think it is dreadfully important to not just care, though. You cannot always sit on the side-lines. It is important, at times, to act."
"I imagine if he had reason to be concerned he would," I shrugged, "I mean, how would you feel about your parents-..."
"Carlisle and Esme."
"-If Carlisle and Esme integrated themselves into every single facet of your life? Do they do that?"
"No, of course not," She scrunched up her nose, her eyes squeezing shut from the imagined horror, "I see your point now. Thank god they are not that invasive. It would be pretty strange if they were, all things con-"
I arched my brow, watching her curiously.
"Pretty strange? Why?" I pushed, trying to coax more out of her.
"It is nothing. My family is just... Unconventional," She forced a grin, but it didn't fully hide her bewilderment. She seemed surprised with herself.
Perhaps, at how close she was to sharing too much?
As we chugged closer to our destination, Alice seemed to sense the end of the bus ride and piped up a little too enthusiastically, "I love field trips! No classes, just wandering aimlessly and letting the day take us wherever it may. How exciting!"
"You like going with the flow, don't you?" I smiled gingerly.
On one hand, I found her carefree nature exhilarating and attractive - something that I wanted to be around. On the other hand, though, she teetered on the edge, reminding me of the chaos and destruction that was so easily sown by my mother. I wasn't so sure that was a good thing.
I always preferred stability. Or maybe not? Maybe I just craved what I never had. How depressing.
"Hm, yes, and no. It is easy to float on top of the breeze when you are certain of where you are going to land," She grinned, her pearly teeth flashing.
Well, that's different from my Mother, I suppose. The adrenaline from the jump was what called to her, not necessarily the fall's destination.
"I wish I could be more like that and trust in the process. But I always feel like I'm responsible for something or someone. Makes it hard to let go," I admitted, a slow exhale slipping past my lips.
I always told her more than I wanted to.
"I know. You are so uptight. Just relax," Alice teased, her eyes skimming over my face.
"Relax into me."
The last few syllables were a breathy whisper, and they did something to me that I couldn't explain.
She leaned over, her wild mop of hair falling against my cheek as she nestled into my neck, her icy fingers slipping underneath the cuff of my coat and surrounding my forearm tenderly.
I closed my eyes and basked in the moment. Her intoxicating perfume ensnared me, and I breathed deeply. The chill of her touch - terribly curious - miraculously sending warmth throughout my body.
I could do that for her.
I could let go, if only for a moment.
When it was time for us to hop off the bus and do the rounds of the greenhouse and - to my nose's absolute horror - the accompanying compost farm, Alice stayed glued to my side. Her chilling grip tugging me along.
A few times throughout the trip - a trip that really should've been more monotonous if it weren't for Alice's excited narrations - I tried to slip in a question or two. But, she seemed to have a knack for sensing whenever the words were effusive and readied on the tip of my tongue..
I would open my mouth to say anything, anything at all, and she'd interject with something so ridiculous, so enamouring, that I'd completely lose my train of thought.
"Come! You must look at all the pretty flowers with me. Oh please!" She squeaked, her smile unnaturally disarming.
I obviously obliged. Everything about her bewitched. It was more of a rhetorical question, anyway. Her hand gripped mine without any indication of ever letting go; Wherever she went I went.
After many flowers, we finally stopped in front of, perhaps, the most peculiar of the lot.
"Why do you like it? What makes it so special?" I mused, flicking my eyes over to her before looking back at the innocuous plant.
I wasn't very impressed. The flower looked sort of pitiful. It hadn't bloomed at all. In fact, compared to the other plants, it didn't seem to be anything remotely special.
Alice looked up at me, her eyes twinkling. It was like she could read my mind.
"It may not look that impressive right now, but under the moonlight, nothing else beats it. The datura is both beautiful and imposing. Did you also know that it is poisonous?"
"No, I didn't," I shook my head, looking at the flower with new eyes.
"Mmhmm. It is a part of the nightshade family," She hummed, her thumb rubbing up and down the hot flesh of my hand, "A part of me likes that. The mixture of beauty and danger. It is thrilling - makes things so much more exciting. And, to think it only blooms under the moon? There is nothing more unique, no?"
I let my gaze drift over perfect features, marking the far-too-knowing smile and the hopeful gleam in her eyes.
"Yes," I nodded, feeling like I was agreeing to something more than just the beauty of a flower.
I carved this memory into my soul - the way she looked at me, the way her beauty decimated all that dared to approach it. I promised myself that this memory would live in me forever.
When the bus sidled up into the bay, my heart dropped.
I stared out the window, watching morosely as we came to a halt in the parking lot. I tried to squash back regret of the day's end, but it was no use.
Everything I had wanted to ask seemed to pale in comparison to the idea of once again having Alice's company wrenched from me. Ripped right out from my white-knuckled hands no matter how desperately I held on.
I turned to her. She looked withdrawn - her eyes muted, her brows pinched together.
"It is truly heartbreaking that it all went by so fast, hey?" She let out a prolonged sigh, "Maybe I should just give you my number? You can text me when you get home. I mean, only if you would like that, of course?"
"Of course," I repeated, "That's perfect!"
I tried to cover my eagerness with a forced chuckle.
I'd let the woman tug me around all day and do whatever she pleased with me. I don't know why she suddenly thought now that there would be any reason for me to stop letting her get her way.
"Oh, good!" She chewed on her lip before breaking out into a large grin.
If any smile from the sheer beauty of it could kill, it would be hers.
She grabbed my phone as soon as I slid it out of my pocket and swiftly punched in her number.
Looking particularly satisfied with her name now permanently saved under the letter 'A' right at the top of my contact list, she slipped my phone back into my waiting hand.
We hopped off the bus together, letting the students mill past as we stood to the side.
"Promise you will text me as soon as you get home? Or, better yet, call?" She asked, hands laced together and lips pouting.
My breath stuttered in the back of my throat.
"Obviously. Um, I mean, yeah," I fumbled, doe-eyes rooting me firmly in place.
"Fabulous. I will be waiting with bated breath," She grinned before pulling her lower lip under glinting teeth.
We were both stalling.
She glanced over her shoulder, likely spotting the rest of her family standing around by their cars.
I shoved my hands in my jean pockets, scuffing the heels of my boots on the pavement - utterly unwilling to be the first one to say goodbye.
She moved hesitantly at first - although far from inelegantly - and stepped closer.
I swallowed hard as she reached up, lifting herself onto the balls of her feet. Her lips brushed across my skin, lightly skating along my jaw, and, setting me ablaze all over again.
She pulled back, her face so close to mine. Her breath trailed over my lips. Her eyes soft, yearning.
Before I'd had time to catch my breath she leaned forward one last time, placing a firm kiss to the corner of my mouth.
I'd never thought I'd want anything more than for her to misjudge. To accidentally brush her plump lips over mine.
I watched her go, paralyzed. All the while wishing I'd had the courage to tell her not to.
She danced across the parking lot, traipsing over asphalt without a single care. Acting like it was the most normal thing in the world to sear my feverish flesh with chilling kisses.
I smiled with trembling lips - my fingers ghosting where she'd kissed me like they had a mind of their own. My cheeks were redder than they'd ever been.
I headed over to my truck a few rows back, knowing full well that I probably looked like an idiot.
But... as I walked... I heard the strangest sound.
An odd screeching noise.
It was only until I'd reached out for the handle of my door that I bothered to turn - the sound far too loud to ignore.
My whole world slowed down.
Tyler's van skidded over slick ice - the previous night's rain leaving the road particularly lethal. His face was warped by fear as he desperately tried to correct his careening car.
There was no hope and he knew it. He might as well have been sliding over wet glass. All he could do was wait for the inevitable crash. And that crash, was headed straight my way.
My mouth opened in the beginnings of a scream, the van swerving and screeching towards me. I closed my eyes, preparing for the inevitable - for the van to slam hard and pin me to the side of my truck.
No.
I wasn't going to go like this! There was one thing - one person - I wanted to see before everything ended.
Her eyes were wide and glossy, horror plastered across her marble features. It was then that time no longer crawled to a halt, and everything happened faster than I could process.
Screeching metal, hard asphalt, the smell of petrol and... lavender, honeysuckle... cinnamon.
I slammed to the ground. The wind shooting out of my lungs. I gasped desperately for air.
White noise. Ringing.
A thin delicate wrist swooping overhead, a slender hand smashing into solid metal.
I watched in awe as the chassis of Tyler's van curved and warped, yet the hand remained immovable and pristine.
My ears started ringing louder, before fading to let in the tumult.
I heard screams. People yelling for an ambulance. I ignored them all.
My eyes traced the soft plain of my savior's delicate wrist, lingering briefly before drifting over the cuff of her blue puffer jacket, and then up her arm to meet inflamed topaz.
Panic - horror - despair. All jostling for supremacy in her orbs.
"Bella, please. Honey. Are you alright?" Alice choked, her free hand cupping the back of my head and saving me from cracking my skull on the blacktop.
She pulled her other hand free to cup my cheek, unashamedly revealing a large indent in Tyler's door. Her palm was as soft and chillingly inviting as ever.
She was perfectly unharmed.
"Yes," I croaked back, "How- how did you..." I trailed off, my words stuttering.
Slurring.
Wow, where'd all the vertigo come from?
My eyes rolled into the back of my head.
Darkness dragged me under so that the screams, and even Alice's frantic pleas, blurred away into pitch-black... and then, beyond the darkness, beyond the pitch-blackness, into nothingness.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ : *. .* : ﾟ. ───
When I woke up I found myself laying in a hospital bed, scratchy over-washed sheets hanging loosely over my body and the smell of disinfectant stinging my nose.
I looked around blearily, taking stock; A tightly packed room with pale blue walls, adjacent hospital beds, Tyler moping on top of one of them with his head in his scratched and bruising hands.
And Alice.
Sitting expectantly in the seat beside me.
"I am so glad you are awake," She rushed forward quicker than I could react, pressing a cold hand to my sweaty forehead, "I was worried that I had hurt you or that-"
"You were worried that you hurt me? What about the van? You-, Alice... I don't know how, but you saved me," I tried to prop myself up onto my elbows, Alice's hand forcing me back down onto the bed with surprising ease.
"Please, sweetheart, do not move. I want Carlisle to check you over before you get up and start attracting even more danger," She chided, a frown creasing her plucked brow.
"I don't attract danger!" I muttered, irritated that I was being forced to sit around like some useless victim. I wasn't even hurt! Just dazed.
I was more concerned about how she'd managed to - in the blink of an eye - appear at my side and stop a full-sized van in its tracks. A van that should have crushed us both into a mushy pulp! If anyone was going to be hurt, it would be Tyler.
Speaking of...
"Tyler," I craned my neck, searching his face and spotting more cuts and bruises.
"Tyler," I repeated, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," He groaned, his fingers darting along fresh stitches on his forehead, "I'm just so sorry, Bella. I couldn't stop! I tried and I tried but the van kept skidding and I-" He gulped, guilt closing his throat.
"Tyler, don't worry about it. Honestly, it's fine. Everyone knows how bad that corner is. Hopefully now the school will take things seriously and salt it properly or at least put a sign there or something. We're practically martyrs! I mean, save for the death and all. Thank god we skipped that part."
Alice laughed loudly, its melodious trill bouncing between thin walls like the soothing chime of a bell.
A small smile crept its way onto his face at the sound, and he seemed to flush. I supposed in that moment we were the spitting image of each other.
"Okay, thanks, Bella. I'm just so glad you're alright. I don't know what I would've done if-"
"No 'ifs'," I interjected, "Everyone is fine and safe. This is just a lesson learned. Don't work yourself up over it."
He nodded and fell back onto the bed, releasing a relieved breath. Perhaps he'd feared further recrimination? I didn't see the point. He was doing a good enough job on his own already.
I turned back to Alice. She knew what was coming and closed her eyes to prepare for the onslaught.
"Hello, Ms. Isabella Swan. I am pleased to see that you are looking very alert."
A male voice, both tender and captivating, filled the room, promptly squashing any accusing words until they were just a formless smog disappearing into the periphery. Alice's eyes fluttered open with a smug twinkle.
A tall blond man in a white coat, clipboard in hand, glided over to my bed.
His skin was the same pale hue as Alice's and his eyes just as golden, yet, I noted, far from holding the same capacity for enthrallment. At least in my case.
Carlisle.
I marveled at his youth - not a far cry from his children's - and his tranquil timbre.
He looked up from the board clutched between his fingers, held so delicately that it seemed odd that the documents didn't just slip right out of his hand and fly to the floor.
"It seems that you have sustained no long-term injuries, if any injury at all. I believe, from thorough evaluations, that the fainting spell you experienced is most likely attributable to shock. You should be pleased."
"If it weren't for Alice, I'm sure I'd be much worse for wear," I looked over to her, confusion and gratitude fighting each other for precedence, "I don't know how she got to me so fast, but... there she was."
"Well," Carlisle smiled down at me, perfectly composed, "Sounds like you were very lucky."
Without missing a beat, Charlie broke through the doors, his dark eyes wild and searching. His eyes immediately narrowed and honed in on me.
"Bella!" He cried, "Bella, are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine Dad," I grunted, feeling increasingly more embarrassed by the second.
I more than understood why everyone was so concerned, but that didn't mean I had to like it.
"I will just leave you to it, shall I?" Alice rose from her seat, her eyes switching between me, my father, and Carlisle, "I will talk to you later, Bella. Rest up, okay? I will miss you."
She fleeted out the door like a bird. One who'd been cooped up in a cage for far too long. A chaste backward glance was all that I was left to hold onto.
"You should be good to go, Bella," Carlisle directed to me before turning his attention to Charlie, "Fill out a few forms, Chief Swan, and you can discharge your daughter and take her home. I recommend bed-rest and an easy night. She has been under tremendous stress and will need to take things very slowly and simply, at least for the time being. But I would not fret. It is nothing a comforting meal and a calm night tucked up in bed cannot fix."
The Doctor glided his way out of the room just as quickly as he'd come after handing some papers to Charlie. I suspected he'd gone seeking after his daughter.
"Come on, Bells'," Charlie helped me up out of the bed, his roughened hands tentative and awkward in mine, "I'll walk you to the seats by the reception and you can sit down while I sign you out."
"Dad, I'm totally fine I can-."
He cut me off, his gruff voice rumbling over mine.
"You heard what the Doctor said. Just-," He squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his fingers roughly over his temples before returning to look at me, "I know you're fine. You always are. But I want you to take it easy tonight. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for my sake. I'm going to worry if you don't."
I nodded, huffing in resignation.
"And as for you, kid, you can kiss your license goodbye!" Charlie growled as we passed by the foot of Tyler's bed.
I followed him out the door. Just before reaching the hallway I glanced over my shoulder and snuck Tyler an apologetic smile.
Charlie headed over to sign me out and pay the medical invoice. I sat down in a worn seat off to the side of the reception.
I was about to slump further into my chair when I heard raised voices coming from around the corner. I glanced to my left, my Dad still leaning over paperwork, before cautiously pulling myself up.
I crept down the hall, hunting out the familiar voices.
Slowly, I poked my head around the wall. Carlisle, Alice, and Edward, stood huddled together in tense conversation.
I strained as I tried to make out the rushed words that flittered between the trio.
"What was I supposed to do? Just let her die? Let Edward go crazy from the bl-"
"Shut up, Alice," Edward hissed behind gritted teeth, "I would have been fine."
"Edward," Carlisle admonished softly, "Alice was just trying to protect you as much as she was trying to protect Bella."
I peeked my head out a little further. Crap. Of course he'd be the one to spot me.
I watched Edward's golden eyes become swallowed up by black, and I yanked myself quickly behind the false safety of the wall. I knew it was too late. The others might not have seen me but he had, and, he wasn't happy about it, if the terror rolling around in my gut was any indicator.
"We are not alone. We will discuss this later."
I didn't know which Cullen Edward said those words to, but I did hear him storm down the corridor. Apparently he wasn't brave enough to take the front entrance.
I was glad he was avoiding me. I didn't feel ready to face him. Not when he looked like he wanted to rip my throat out.
For a brief moment, I thought I'd gotten away with my eavesdropping, Edward keeping the secret. But then Alice popped her head around the corner, severing that illusion cleanly.
I slapped my hands over my mouth. trying poorly to squash back my shriek of surprise.
Her eyes burned into mine.
"So, we are getting into the habit of snooping, are we? How thrilling."
I would have babbled out a million excuses right then and there if it weren't for Alice's smirk stifling them down.
She leaned up against exposed drywall, her arms folded over her chest as she scrutinized my disoriented gawping.
"N-no," I finally stuttered out, "I just heard you from up the hall and I-..."
Hold on a minute. What am I doing? After everything that's happened, she owes me!
"Screw it. I was curious!" The change in tone sent her eyebrows shooting up, "You saved my life, Alice. I'm standing here right now because of an impossibility. Do you really think I'm so... so simple-minded that I'd just let that go? What else am I to do but snoop! It's not as if you're going to give me any answers, anyway."
Her arms fell limply to her sides.
"I know I have not been completely honest with you, Bella," She looked down, her lips thinning into a white line, "But it is for good reason, I promise. I am going to try to explain... things. But right now I cannot. You have to trust me, okay?"
"Whatever. Keep your secrets to yourself. I'll figure it out on my own," I turned on my heels and stormed away.
I made it back to my Father's side just as he finished signing all the forms - blissfully none-the-wiser to my eavesdropping escapade.
"I am sure that you will."
─── ･ ｡ﾟ : *. .* : ﾟ. ───
Charlie forced me to lay up in bed for the rest of the evening - Doctor's orders.
I had no say in the matter. He threatened to call Renee.
To be honest, I was surprised that he hadn't called her already. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thankful that he'd refrained. She'd stopped responding to my emails and I wasn't exactly in the mood to endure her piteous fanfare.
As such, I felt compelled to obey Charlie's first foray into fatherly injunction.
If I dared to venture anywhere else but the bathroom or down to the kitchen for dinner, I would be doomed. Speaking of dinner, Charlie's frozen meals left much to be desired.
He had become so accustomed to the tastes and textures of cardboard that he'd even given up on brand names!
I was relieved when he went out and got us some steak dinners from the diner. As soon as he saw my face starting to turn green he rushed out the door, our faux-meals congealing in the garbage.
I laid in bed, lamenting the ridiculousness of my circumstances, and Anne Rice once again my lonely companion for the night.
'Keep your secrets
Keep your silence
It is a better gift than truth'
I slammed the book shut and threw it across the room. A loud thump against my bedroom wall and the thwack of closing pages breaking the stillness.
Damn Anne and her lackluster pearls of wisdom! I'd take secrets, I'd take the truth, no matter the pain it rented me!
"Is everything alright up there, Bells'?" Charlie called worriedly from downstairs.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I called back, "Uh, book slipped."
I could hear his grunt of disbelief from bed but he didn't pry any further.
I stared listlessly up at the faded ceiling.
There was not much to find there aside from the remnants of a cobweb and a rare crack in the paint.
I just didn't have it in me to do anything else. The stress of the day had managed to get me in the end. Funny thing was, I knew I'd still have felt better if Alice were here.
Anyone in their right mind would be scared. Jacob's story now ringing boldly out into the night with immutable sincerity; cold skin, strength, speed. All that now remained was the blood. Yet, instead, here I was.
Desperately craving her.
I rolled onto my side in frustration.
Alice.
I wanted her. Wanted to feel her frostbitten skin pressed against mine. Hear her bell-like voice chiming its way into my eardrums. But... I couldn't think straight anymore.
Was I right or wrong? Ignorant or just stupid? Who could tell at this point. Certainly not me.
Every day that passed in this town I betrayed myself more and more - the reserved and tightly controlled girl of Phoenix evaporating before my very eyes. Replaced by a risk-taking young woman defined by her neediness and her obsessions. I had wanted change. Excitement. I was unsure if this was exactly what I'd had in mind.
I mused further over the crash.
The squelching, screeching, sound of tires hitting icy asphalt coming back to me rapidly.
It was almost like I was still there. The smell of burnt rubber filled my nostrils and the blurred and violent images fluttered behind my eyelids.
The thing was, I knew she'd been across the lot. I was sure of it. She'd been with her family, staring at me.
Somehow, in a single instant, crushing metal and skidding tires, she'd appeared out of thin air and moved us both to the ground. One hand firmly imprinted into the side-door of Tyler's van, another cradling the back of my head, her shoulder ramming bracingly against my chevy.
No human could move that fast, let alone stop a 2-tonne van sliding at 60 miles per hour.
But, that was just it. Wasn't it?
Alice couldn't be human at all.
The tribe's stories harbored some semblance of truth, because no mere mortal could do what Alice had done. There was simply no point denying it.
The thought soldered its way along my mind like a hot branding-iron until it seemed unreasonable to think or believe anything else.
Of course she wasn't human! God. How could I have ever felt any other way?
Her unearthly beauty and grace, her strange personality and odd words, her freezing skin and, of course, her family... all suspiciously sharing the same golden-eyed white-skinned idiosyncrasies despite purported adoption.
I barked out a laugh.
How could anyone ever think that a family so alike could be unrelated? Unconnected? I felt stupid for ever believing it.
I guess, when it comes to the alien and other, it's easy to believe what's familiar and safe than what disturbs. Wasn't that what Alice had said the first day of school?
I lurched out of bed and shuffled to the computer.
Ignoring its ancient whirring, I tapped my fingers impatiently on the hard top of my desk. When the screen finally flickered to life I drilled in my password and clicked onto my browser, perusing the list of open tabs.
There. That little bookshop.
I'd thought about going down and having a look but it seemed ridiculous to travel to Port Angeles just for the pursuit of myths and fables. Now, I was no longer certain that what I hunted was myth. I was sure that fables had more to offer me than a web search ever could.
Alice wasn't going to be any help, she'd made that clear. If I wanted answers I had to find them myself.
Now, how to convince Charlie that a lone trip down to Port Angeles was reasonable. Shit. I couldn't.
I clenched my eyes shut and tried to think. Maybe I could convince some of my new friends to go with me? Wait! That's it. Jessica and Angela. Didn't they say that they planned to head down early and snag prom dresses?
I sent a quick text to both of them and waited, rocking in my desk chair. I breathed a loud sigh of relief when Jessica, in all caps, gave a definitive yes and Angela's affirmatives joined the group SMS shortly after.
An influx of well wishes and questions quickly followed, but I weaseled my way out of all of them and blamed the need for rest as the culprit for my escape.
Okay, well, it was sorted then.
In a few days time, we'd drive down to Port Angeles - Jessica and Angela seeking glittering prom dresses, and me, in chase of the truth that Anne Rice herself admonished me for seeking.
At this point I didn't really care what anyone else thought. I didn't even care if I seemed crazy! All I wanted was to know who and what Alice was.
I... I needed her now.
It was hard to believe, but I knew that something within me desperately yearned for her.
Desired to be close to her.
Each and every waking breath called for me to draw near - to find a way to bask in the soft glow of her eyes and cool sheen of her skin. I wasn't going to hide away from that truth any longer.
Even if I'd wanted to, I simply couldn't stay away.
But, if I couldn't stay away, then I sure as hell wasn't going to hide from the truth of what she was, either. I had to know.
Sleep came surprisingly easy to me that night. Whether due to dreamlessness, the burdens of the day taking its toll, or my decision having brought some level of peace, I was unsure. I was just grateful for insomnia's weakened hold and that I now had a plan.
I would find my Alice. Find her as she is.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ : *. .* : ﾟ. ───
It was sunny the following morning. Beautiful. I couldn't help myself. I sent Alice a text - not brave enough to call.
I wanted to leave things on a good note - even if I was going behind her back to analyze and research her like some sort of lab animal.
I hope you're enjoy the sun today. Jessica says your parents always take you out when the sky's are clear so I guess have fun frolicking? I'm sorry about yesterday. I was just upset and confused x
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed that her response wasn't immediate.
I was trudging up the school steps when I heard a ping and felt the vibration thrum from inside my pocket.
It's ok, I understand. And thank you, I will! 3 Wish you could be here with me. Days like this are kind of sucky to be honest xx
Everywhere I went. Everywhere I'd turn. I couldn't escape it.
The sun, beaming down between fragmented clouds, utterly drowning the green landscape in its orange warmth, glared as omen of their absence.
I didn't understand how she could find today boring. I was sure everyone in Forks, and perhaps the entire Olympic Peninsula, was vitamin D deficient. Unless...
The week progressed. The sun stayed out. And the Cullens' absence remained.
Alice and I texted frequently.
She lamented the sun. Lamented her father and mother's need to hike whenever it appeared - an undue separation that she felt no warmth for - but I suspected there was more to the story than just that.
I missed her terribly, but I wasn't as confident as she was in voicing it.
She asked me lots of questions. What I was getting up to, how my classes were going, if I had any plans for the coming weekend. The last question left me feeling more guilty than I'd thought it would.
I refused to lie to her.
I didn't think it right to pursue the truth and then fail to offer it willingly in return. So, I told her what I could.
I explained how Jessica and Angela and I were all headed down to Port Angeles this coming Saturday to look at prom dresses. This led to an uncomfortable conversation about whether I was going to prom and, if so, who I hoped to go with.
She seemed mortified, even over text, by my disdain for prom. She implored me to change my mind but I wouldn't let up.
I wasn't going to sit on the bleachers and watch her dance with some boy.
Dance with someone who wasn't me.
Saturday quickly came along. I was surprised at how fast the week had flown by. The days merging into one so perfectly, that when my alarm chimed in the morning and I saw the date, I couldn't help but gasp in shock.
I consoled myself with the knowledge, after briefly fretting over the unlikely probability of early-onset Alzheimer's, that at least I could play detective again and actually get to start digging.
It was late afternoon.
I was sat at the window of a boutique while Jessica and Angela tried on dresses, gushing about how gorgeous the materials and colors were.
It was actually pleasant to be around them, if slightly boring. They had, alongside the rest of the school, finally given up on hounding me like mother hens - overbearingly trying to ensure my wellbeing and safety as if another out of control van was just around the corner.
Mike had been the biggest offender, alongside Tyler. Both of them seemed to be competing for my affections, but Mike was particularly persistent. I couldn't shake him off.
I could forgive Tyler, because I was certain his puppy dog tailing was really the direct consequence of guilt, but Mike didn't have nearly as good of a reason.
I flicked my eyes over to the girls, watching them thumb over their dresses and twirl in front of the mirror.
I couldn't stop myself from drifting off, wondering about what I'd find at the bookshop - if I would find anything at all.
"You're not interested in this, are you?" Angela said sympathetically, pulling up the spaghetti straps of her dress.
"Um, no. It's not that," I acquiesced, "It's just that there's this store I really want to go to... You all look so beautiful. Really, you do," I let my smile linger on Jessica, hoping that it would make a dent in her obvious insecurities.
She beamed. I let out a quiet sigh of relief.
"We do, don't we? We look so hot. Right, Angela?" She nudged the lanky girl next to her, "Although... not sure this is my color."
"Why don't you head down to that store, or whatever, Bella? We can all meet back up for dinner at the restaurant," Jessica supplied amicably as she looked in the mirror, toying with the front of her dress.
"Really?"
Both of them nodded, smiling warmly.
"Thanks! I won't be long, guys. Swear!"
With one last glance through glass - watching as the girls giddily held an array of dresses up against their bodies - I headed down the footpath towards my new destination.
I took stock of my surroundings and tried to recall the route I'd mentally plotted from the map on the website.
I kept walking. The architecture slowly shifting from quaint eateries and bespoke shops, to weathered storefronts and industrialized warehouses.
I walked a little quicker, starting to feel nervous. Bars began dotting the streets - men lounging out front, already rowdy even though it wasn't past five.
A few of the men leered at me as I scampered past, calling for me to return, but I ignored them and continued on my route. I tried to keep the fear that nagged at the back of my mind at bay. It was hard.
Their breath had smelled of alcohol and desperation.
Nothing good ever came from that.
To my relief, I found the bookshop. I rushed inside, letting out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding.
The owner was friendly enough and stood patiently behind the counter as I searched through the books that littered the store's shelves. They didn't even bat an eye when I told them I was researching vampirism. They just nodded and pointed, their worn leathery finger directing me to the far corner towards the back of the room.
I read over the titles, some worn and old, others new and vibrant. Nothing was piquing my interest until I found one seemingly innocuous hardcover.
The Analysis and Encyclopedic Categorization of Vampiric Mythology, Personal Anecdotes, & Testimony Throughout Recorded History.
The title was overly long and wordy, the spine crinkled and crusted over with dust, and the cover a faded brown leather that I'd suspected had once been a deep maroon.
It was perfect.
I opened it up, the yellow pages wafting a scent that quickly evoked vivid memories of libraries and restless nights reading under lamplight.
I found, instead of the meandering writings of a madman, the penning of what sounded like an academic.
I closed the book and returned to the counter to make my purchase.
Satisfied with my retrieval, I traipsed my way down the street. I was careless and paid little attention to the street names - putting far too much faith in intuition than I should have.
It wasn't long before my satisfaction was replaced with uncertainty and panic.
I was lost.
I kept walking, hoping that I'd spot something familiar, something to guide my path and return me to my friends. I ended up walking into a dead-end. Old weathered shop fronts long since abandoned, and low-rise apartment blocks with boarded windows and bricks covered in grime, surrounded me on all sides.
It was then that I heard them. Slurring and inarticulate; A sound so chilling that it brought a gurgled sob to the back of my throat.
"Oh, if it isn't you! Knew you'd be back an' come searching for us. Couldn't resist, ey? Come on boys, let's show this pretty little lady a good time. I've always liked them young. They taste much sweeter that way."
I enjoyed editing this nearly as much as I enjoyed writing it - it was sorta nice to finally get the ball rolling and move away from introductions and base world building (not that I needed to do much given that this is a fanfiction, but, hey, I'm a stickler for detail lmao). I'm very happy that I dragged the story back to the start of the school year because I think Stephanie jumped the gun by making everything happen in the span of like, what, 2 months? I'm not sure of exact timeframes, but all I do know is Edwardo and Bellina were a bit too speedy for my liking.
If you would like to follow me on my socials, check out my Twitter and Tumblr handles on my profile page! And ooh thank you so much for reading. It really means a lot... I hope you're enjoying the story so far! If you have any criticisms or just want to say something positive, comment down below. I read every single one :)
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