Chapter 7: Forgive me

Anakin began to remember every moment of his life, his life as a Jedi, the clone wars and how he betrayed them all to save Padmé from death... "No, I didn't want to do it! No, I'm innocent! Mother! Obi-wan! "Padme!" Anakin could no longer contain the cries of pain and sadness inside him.

"Anakin calm down, please react!" Engel said, hugging Anakin to comfort him, "What's wrong? What do you have?".

"I… I remember everything, I saw my family… But everyone is already dead!" Anakin said crying in pain.

"Anakin, please... don't remember that, those memories hurt you a lot."

"No, you don't understand, I killed Padme, Obi-wan, my children and my friends! I killed them!"

"But you're good, what you've done in the past doesn't matter anymore. "You still have me by your side… I will never leave you alone."

Engel continues to hug Anakin to comfort him. How much have you suffered, my child? Engel thought as he comforted him. "Anakin, let's go back home... to our home, there we have many people who love us and miss us, we are all a family... your family..."

"No, Engel… I will return to my house and you will return to your town as was the plan."

"Anakin, don't say that, you're not alone... not anymore."

Forgive me Engel, but this is for your own good... all the people I love die... Forgive me for what I'm about to do, but I couldn't bear the idea of losing you too, I couldn't. Anakin thought sadly, "Engel, stop it… I have never loved you like my father. The only one I have loved like my father was Chancellor Palpatine. Every time we were together, your face always reminded me of him... that smile, that paternal kindness with which you treated me... it reminded me of the Chancellor... when I saw your face I saw him, not you, Engel."

Engel walked away from Anakin with surprise and a pang of pain... what he was saying was very hurtful "Anakin, please don't do this... you can't continue loving that Chancellor, you don't even know if he's alive!"

You have the same face and the kind and loving personality that Chancellor Palpatine had... but unlike him... you never deceived me or betrayed me... no, you are real, everything about you is sincere. "You're wrong Engel, he's still alive… I'm going to go back to him. Goodbye Engel."

Engel with tears in his eyes deep down admitted that he was jealous of the affection that Anakin felt for this Chancellor Palpatine. But deep in his heart he knew that he was not the person Anakin loved like his father... "If you wish... that's fine... goodbye Darth Vader."

Anakin, upon hearing his name Sith, shed a few last tears... he thought a little if he turned to look at Engel, he would feel the urge to give up everything and leave with him.

When his gaze sought Engel again to tell him that he changed his mind... he was no longer there... Forgive me Engel, but it's better this way. If you stay close to me... you could die... Anakin thought sadly.

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Anakin could hear the footsteps of the stormtroopers through the hallways, he had already felt it too... his master already knew he was here.

He began to remove all the items of blankets, scarves, and hats that covered his armor, grabbing his helmet and placing it back on his head.

"Who's there!? "This is a restricted area, no one is allowed to be here!" The stormtrooper shouted but when he shined the flashlight into the shadow… he couldn't believe it was Darth Vader, after three years. "I'm so sorry, sir!".

"I understand that they've been looking for me…" Anakin could feel that soldier's fear of him, and with good reason… but he no longer felt as much like Vader. "Where is the emperor?"

"She is waiting for you in the throne room, sir."

Anakin was escorted by stormtroopers to the throne room, several of those present were surprised and terrified. Three years ago Vader had disappeared, they even left him for dead in the empire and in the rebellion.

Anakin remembered Engel's sad feelings... it broke his heart, but it was necessary, he didn't want to lose him like everyone else.

It was true that at first he confused him with his master Sidious, due to the great resemblance Engel had to Chancellor Palpatine.

But over time he had learned to love that father figure who always smiled at him and treated him with kindness and joy. He had learned to love the person who was next to him.

The love and affection he felt for Palpatine had ended two decades ago. When Palpatine betrayed him with the promise of saving Padme... his master only pretended to care to make him his Sith apprentice. Obi-wan was right, the Sith only look out for themselves and don't care about anyone else... they only care about power. Anakin thought bitterly.

However, Engel, in the few months that he had known him, was a person completely the same and at the same time different from Palpatine. His personality was kind, smiling, kind and willing to help others. Unlike his master, Engel was not a mask of beauty for a monster like Sidious… Engel was sincere in every way, his affection and care for him were totally true.

Engel had earned his trust and affection, like father and son... Forgive me Engel... Anakin thought sadly, but he needed to hide his feelings, he didn't know what could happen if his master discovered the truth. How would he react to knowing that there is a double of him identical to him? No... his teacher couldn't know about Engel's existence, but sooner or later the truth will be discovered.

Sidious always discovers the truth when Vader tries to hide something that had happened from him.

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Emperor Palpatine was on his throne meditating on the force. Just like Darth Maul didn't expect Vader to still be alive.

He had many questions for his apprentice, when he walked through those doors, however there was something very different about him… he could feel it.

When Darth Vader arrived at the throne room, he knelt when he saw the Emperor on his throne. "Master".

"I am impressed by your unexpected arrival, my apprentice… what happened to you in these last three years?"

"After the destruction on the Death Star, I crashed on an unknown planet totally cut off for three years and then I was able to return here."

"Guards, leave me alone with Lord Vader," Palpatine ordered and his red guards withdrew from the throne room. "I feel something in you Lord Vader, something I haven't felt for 20 years... I feel pain... no... sadness. Are you trying to hide your feelings from me?" Palpatine said putting a hand on Vader's shoulder. "Why?"

Palpatine tried to enter his apprentice's memories, but he refused to raise his shields around his mind.

At this Palpatine growled in disgust at Vader's insolence. "Are you trying to hide something from me Lord Vader? Something I should know?"

"No, master…"

Palpatine with a movement of his hand removed Darth Vader's helmet... his premonitions were not wrong. Something happened with Vader during the last 3 years. His eyes no longer had the tint of the dark side, they were blue again.

"Right now you are going to tell me what happened to you in the last 3 years… It's a Vader order!" Palpatine ordered with annoyance at Vader's attitude towards him.

That's not my name, I'm Anakin Skywalker. Anakin thought before answering... in the force he could feel the energy of the Sith rays that was gathering in Palpatine's hands. "When I crashed with my ship, after the destruction of the Death Star… I had a serious accident in which… I completely lost my memory. I didn't remember who I was, or where I came from, I can only say that I felt very confused..."

"It is a very interesting story my apprentice… let me enter your mind, so I can see your memories." Palpatine asked, placing a hand on Vader's forehead.

Anakin had no choice but only opened a quarter of his memories, without revealing the existence of Engel or his friends in the world he lived in for three years.

He had forgotten how painful it was when his master penetrated his mind to see his memories... his presence in the force was very dark...

When Palpatine left his mind, Anakin could breathe again... it had been very exhausting to endure the power of the dark side again.

"You have forgotten your place Lord Vader... you have forgotten the way of the Sith..." Palpatine said with great displeasure in his voice. But don't worry, my wayward apprentice, for now I'm not going to murder you... I have other plans for you. Palpatine thought as he saw Vader kneeling before him.

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The Sith training to remember the steps to power had been very painful for Anakin... right now he was next to his master in the throne room.

The presence he felt two months ago was very powerful, his master also felt it but as strange as it was…

"There was a great disturbance in the force two months ago…Lord Vader."

"I have felt it, master... this presence in the force was very powerful, do you believe it was the young rebel who destroyed the death star?"

"No, it wasn't him… what I felt was very different, strange and unusual. That day I felt a shudder... something overwhelming, like a current of energy that had flowed through my entire body. What I felt was not part of the force... it felt very natural, as if someone had transmitted it to me..." Palpatine admitted to Vader.

"This presence in the force reminded me of yours, master… this power was equal to yours…" Vader thought for a moment. What his teacher felt was because of Engel. Was Engel sensitive to force? Vader wondered in his mind.

Palpatine felt emotions that disturbed Vader's calm. "You can tell me what worries you, my apprentice."

"Forgive me my teacher, but this question is very personal… What happened to your family?"

"Why is that question, my apprentice?" Palpatine was surprised by such a question, he had to admit. Many asked about his private life when he was Chancellor... obviously his past was buried, no one knew anything about his past.

After a few long minutes of silence, Vader was already beginning to believe that his master was not going to answer his question.

"My whole family died in an accident when I was 17…" Palpatine responded without showing any emotion of sadness or anything similar. His expression was without any emotion present.

"I'm sorry, my deepest regrets…" However, Vader was abruptly interrupted by Palpatine.

"Don't feel sorry for me, my family and I weren't close...their deaths didn't matter to me."

"Did you have brothers or sisters?" Vader asked curiously, perhaps it was possible that his master and Engel were…

Palpatine growled silently, facing such questions from Vader, it made him question why his apprentice was asking him about his past... When he entered his memories he could feel that Vader was hiding something from him that he did not want to reveal.

"Two brothers and two younger sisters… I was the eldest son of all my brothers." Palpatine responded with disdain in his voice.

But when he sensed that Vader wanted to ask more questions, he raised his hand to signal that this conversation was over.

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Right now Vader was on the imperial cruiser in space, he actually missed Engel... he still felt guilty for how he disregarded his affection. I so wanted to find him and apologize for hurting him.

I could still remember the sadness and pain in his eyes when he said those hurtful words that weren't true.

Maybe... I could visit him right now, ask for forgiveness... Vader thought as he looked into space.

Upon making his decision, he ordered that a hunting ship be prepared for him, and that there was no way in the world that they would follow him.

However, Lord Vader did not suspect that all the imperial officers in the fleet were no longer obeying his orders... but those of the emperor.

As Vader flew overhead in his Tie Fighter, he managed to find his way back to his old home, unaware that an Imperial probe droid was watching him from afar.

When Vader arrived at the town of Engel, several community members recognized him and greeted him, but Vader did not return the greeting.

When Vader arrived at Engel's cabin, he started knocking on the door but no one answered.

"Engel, it's me Anakin... please open up to me, listen to me... I'm sorry, I'm sorry for treating you like that. "You didn't deserve it, I understand if you don't want to open the door." Anakin asked, knocking on the door, begging for Engel to open the entrance to his home.

However, at that moment the Twi'lek fortune teller arrives reporting that Engel was not at home.

"Anakin...if you're looking for Engel, he's not at home."

"Where is Engel? When he left?". Anakin asked with fear in his voice.

"Two months ago, Engel came back very sad and with tears in his eyes, I asked him what happened to him but he said he wanted to be alone and didn't want to see anyone."

Anakin opened the door using force, the cabin was empty, there were none of Engel's things. The place was empty, all their things were gone, even the holo photograph they took together was no longer there.

Anakin shed a few tears in his eyes, he had lost many important people in his life, and now he had lost Engel...

When the Imperial probe captured this scene from afar, it linked Lord Vader's communicator to the throne room on Coruscant.

Vader's communicator began to ring, it was a call from his master Emperor Palpatine.

"Why did you abandon your position on the Imperial cruiser Lord Vader?" Palpatine asked with a neutral face.

Anakin couldn't hear anything around him, he was lost in thought. Engel left... he left town. I came here to look for him, but he is no longer living here, he left town and said he was not coming back. I would like to look for him, to know the reason why he left... I am so afraid of not seeing him again.

Although Palpatine could not hear Vader's thoughts he could feel his emotions; Frustration and worry... they were feelings accumulated by a specific person.

"You look agitated my friend, I feel frustration in you… these are attachments that you can hardly afford… there are bigger prizes in the galaxy for you my friend."

"Yes Master…"

"There are matters that require my presence, apprentice. "A group of rebels were captured in the outer rim system, one of them is very special to me."

"The young rebel who destroyed the death star?"

"He was among them, but they did not capture him. General Pryde urgently requested my presence, in this case... he said that I should see this rebel with my own eyes, he reported that the matter was too complicated to discuss via hologram and requested my presence. Meet me there Lord Vader, I'm on my way."

"Yes Master". Lord Vader said turning off his communicator. If it is not the young man who destroyed the death star, then… who could it be?"

At that moment the Twi'lek fortune teller entered the cabin grabbing Anakin by the shoulders, she was not afraid of him... despite...

"You were talking to your teacher, right Anakin?"

"That's right… he was…"

"The shadow that I saw in the vision… yes it was… there is something you should know. Engel came back crying and heartbroken, but about four days later I saw that he was packing up all his things. He told me that it is possible that I will not return to the town, that I had to do something very important, deliver a memory of information to a princess… Leia Organa."

At that moment Anakin's senses opened up. Was Engel with the rebellion? All the pieces were beginning to fit, his teacher told him that they captured a group of rebels.

General Pryde requested the Emperor's presence for a delicate matter... Pryde had known Palpatine since the days of the old republic. Seeing Engel maybe...

Oh no... what have I done? I shouldn't have left him alone. This is all my fault... I have to get it out of there!