"I know I can't slow down
I can't hold back
Though you know
I wish I could
Oh, no there ain't no rest for the wicked
Until we close our eyes for good"
Ain't No Rest for the Wicked by Cage the Elephant
CHAPTER 1
He was painfully aware of how similar his actions were to an adolescent boy, rebelling against his parents. He vaguely remembered his friend, the boy next door. What was his name? He couldn't remember, his human memories were already a faraway dream, behind heavy smoke and red bloodlust. But he remembered when the boy ran away from home when he was 15 after his mother told him he couldn't go with his friends to play soccer. Edward was also 15 but he remembered how he laughed with his mother then, about how foolish it was to run away for something so small. He wondered what his mother would think now. His reason to run away seemed more stupid than the boy's. He imagined his mother -her face was still clear in his memories, unlike his father's- raising an eyebrow, her signature move when she wanted him to spill.
He guessed she wouldn't take it well that he left his house and his sire because he killed a bear that had cubs. It was a pathetic scene, maybe even funny to some. He was hunting alone, as he started to after Carlisle brought Esme. They were so sickeningly in love and completely focused on each other and their constant aroused state would've made him blush all the time if he still had the ability to do so. Esme's inquiries and gentle mind also bothered him. He had a mother, even though she was dead. He was raised to be a gentleman so he never let her know but the way she tried to mother him made him mad, sometimes. That day, the hunt was usual, nothing remarkable. He actually felt full after the last deer but the smell of a bear lured him.
The chase and the feeding were also usual. Until he heard the two whimpering cubs and noticed how he had killed their mother. They were terrified of him but still tried to come close to "save" their mother. For a creature stronger than an army of bears, it was nothing. It was a normal Wednesday. Until he snapped.
It was like a dam broke and everything he had been suprassing poured out.
His acceptance of lurking death. Opening his eyes with a strange man's thoughts in his mind and a maddening ache in his throat. Confusion. Hurt. The whole absurdity of turning into a creature that he wouldn't even believe existed. Carlisle's compassion, his loneliness. Edward tried so hard to be who Carlisle was. To ignore the burning need in the back of his throat, to ignore the flowing blood in the veins of the humans and their constant flow of thoughts. He hated it. Seeing the cubs' search for their mother and her torn-apart body in his feet, he saw how none of it mattered.
It didn't matter how hard they tried to resist human blood. He was still a monster. A monster that wears fancy clothes goes to plays and fixes the floorboards in their houses but still one.
And Carlisle was, too. No matter how hard he tried to save people, being a doctor and all that jazz. He ripped Edward's soul from his body, trapping him into this half-life without a second thought. Death would be a better mercy. He was a monster, too.
And if he was a monster, anyway, what was the point of resisting his nature? God must've created a vampire at some point, didn't he? And he knew what he was doing when he gave them this burning desire, to get that blood down their throats. What made him different than the bear? The bear was going to kill other animals to feed herself and her cubs. She wasn't that different, either but nobody blamed them for being bears.
He nearly laughed at his justifications. The main reason was that he had enough. And if this was what a rebellion was, then so be it.
Edward kept a safe distance from the man walking in front of him, a pretty blonde girl in his arms, laughing together. Without a care in the world. Not knowing that she was in the presence of not one, but two monsters.
Charles Evenson had pleasant thoughts in his vile mind. Edward didn't even need to confirm his identity, his face as clear as a day in Esme's thoughts and flashbacks. Edward's human memories started to fade at the end of his first year, Esme's never did in her six years of being a vampire. Trauma, Carlisle said.
It didn't matter, Charles Evenson wouldn't wake up tomorrow. Esme didn't need to check the guestlists of the events they were attending, terrified that he would find her. Carlisle didn't need to cry tearlessly when Esme disclosed a horrible experience in the calmest, normal tone as if telling a normal story.
You see, that's the thing with making peace with the monster inside of you:
It makes it easier to see the others like you and know there is no redemption.
And no rest for the wicked.
AN: Hello! I didn't plan to write another story, since this year will be super busy for me but I couldn't resist this plot bunny.
It's a period fic but I'm totally unwilling to do deep research about the historical events and all that yada yada so I hope you guys are not into historically accurate fics because this isn't one.
According to Twilight Saga Wiki, Esme was changed in 1921 and Edward started his rebellion in 1927. We are going to jump a few years in the next chapter and meet our Bella.
As you know, my other fanfic, In A Way, was super depressive but I assure you this one will be way lighter funnier, and more romantic.
Are you with me?