It's time for another multi-chapter story. First things first: I'm sorry for the title. I suck at naming things, and I hate spending so much thought on it and still being unable to come up with something good. So, you'll always know the stories with the worst titles are usually mine!
I spent almost two weeks now plotting different stories and narrowed it down to six ideas for which I wrote down a detailed storyline. This is one of them. The other five would probably be more interesting but also more complicated to write. And right now, I have a lot of heavy private stuff going on, so I didn't feel like writing something complicated. Some people are able to focus on different stories at the same time, but I can't. So, I'll just get this one out of my system, hoping by the time I finish this story, I'll have enough space in my head to do something more complex again.
Because this story won't be complex. But it's something I wanted to write for ages, so now I'll go for it.
I love unplanned pregnancy storylines (and I'll write a lot of them in the future), but I really wanted to write a story with a planned pregnancy that isn't set post-series. In my opinion, the best spot to start one is season 6, episode 10, "The Good, the Bad, and the Baby." Because no one can tell me there wasn't at least a hint of baby fever in Kate's eyes when they took care of little Benny or Castle mentioned having children of their own. So, I just picked up on that, and I'll admit, it might be a little bit out of character for Kate. But isn't all fan fiction in some way out of character? But if you don't like that or expect anything else apart from cheesy, fluffy (sometimes a bit angsty) pregnancy content, this story isn't for you! It will also contain smut (like, right away in the first chapter because we all know where babies come from), so be prepared for that as well.
As I mentioned, my private life is a little rough right now, so I can't tell you how fast I'll update this story. But I'll try to update at least once a week! Also, I usually have my stories mostly written and only have to reread them before I even start uploading them, but not this one. It'll be more like "write as you go". I hope that won't make it lack quality, but there's a chance it will. And I can't tell you how long it will turn out; my guess is about twenty chapters and roughly 80k words, but that could be totally off, so we'll see.
Enough of the talking. I hope at least some of you will enjoy this story because I know for sure that I'll enjoy writing it!
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Castle walked out of the bathroom and back to the bedroom, pulling his shirt over his head and down his body. Walking over to the bed, he threw back the covers on his side and smiled at Kate.
"That was such a wonderful evening. I enjoyed every minute. "He slid into the bed and shifted over the big mattress to get closer to her. Pressing a kiss to her cheek, he mumbled, "Mainly because you were there. And thank you for starting this new family tradition. I think that could be pretty funny in the years to come. "
She smiled back at him and enjoyed the warm sensation his lips left on her cheek. "Well, actually, you started it yourself by trying to fool me. "She put down her phone on her nightstand and looked at him, warmth spreading in her chest at his happy grin.
"I know. But I never would have thought you would fall for it. "He chuckled and pulled the sheets over his body.
"You do know I didn't actually fall for it but tricked you back, do you? "
Shaking his head, he laid down, propping himself up on his elbow so he could still look at her. "Uh-uh. I refuse to believe that. You're just ashamed to admit that I got you. "
Leaning her head back against the bed, she laughed. "Yeah, well, believe whatever makes you happy. "
Reaching out his hand, he wrapped his fingers around hers. "You make me happy. "He softly said, almost sighing, and enjoyed witnessing the soft crimson rising in her cheeks as she lowered her gaze.
"You and how wonderful all of this works out. Our families, the time we get to spend together. Thinking of all that's still to come. "
Kate's eyes remained on the sheets, and after a few seconds, he started to feel confused at her silence. "Hey, what is it? "He whispered, gently squeezing her hand.
Kate sighed but still didn't look up. Yeah, what was it? She knew what it was, what had been on her mind the entire evening. If only she knew how to talk about it.
"Kate, "he said, softly shaking her hand. "I can't read your mind, you know. But I can tell something is wrong, so please, tell me what it is. "His happiness was slowly fading as she remained silent, even if he could see on her face that she was trying to find the words.
"Nothing is wrong. "She said after a while, and his brow furrowed at her answer.
"Then why do you look like that? "
Sighing again, she forced herself to look at him, and to his surprise, she didn't look sad or angry but a little nervous with a spark in her eye he couldn't quite put into place.
"Because there is something I would like to talk about, but I don't know how to say it. Or how to even start. "That was the truth. She longed to talk about the thoughts that had been torturing her head for half of the day. Get the pressure they had built up off of her chest. But how could she explain something she didn't understand? Something that had crossed her mind so suddenly but forcefully that it seemed impossible to push it back again?
Now fully alert, he sat up so his eyes were at the same height as hers. He sensed this was about something important, she usually didn't act like this or had trouble putting her thoughts into words.
"Okay. "He started slowly. "Could you give me a hint? "Curiously eyeing her face, he saw her lowering her gaze again, sighing once more. He kept quiet, gave her time to find the words for whatever she wanted to say.
Kate stared down at her hand in his. If she couldn't start to explain her feelings, then maybe she could tell him when they had started. Maybe it would even make a little more sense to her if she recapped it all and talked about where all of this was coming from. Even though it was silly that a couple of words could have started that emotional landslide that had come down on her.
"Do you remember what you said today at the precinct? "She finally asked, and instantly, his mind started to spin, trying to figure out what she was talking about, his gaze turning absentminded as he went through their day.
Slowly, he shook his head. "Sorry, I talk a lot. I don't know what you mean. "
Smiling softly at his answer, she took a few more seconds to look back at him carefully. She wanted to say it, but something held her back. So she opted for the next closest thing, hoping he would figure out what she actually meant. "About in a few Thanksgivings from now. "Her voice was shy as if she was scared of how he would react.
Straightening up, his eyes grew wide. "Yes. Of course, what about that? "Now, he had an idea in which direction this conversation was headed, but he couldn't grasp the reason why. The first thought that crossed his mind was that she would tell him this picture he had created with his words of children of their own would never happen, that she had other plans for her life.
But no, that didn't fit her broad smile at the precinct and the soft but uncertain one that grazed her lips now.
She stared back at him but just couldn't bring the words over her lips, feeling silly for even thinking about it. She shouldn't be thinking those things, feeling them so furiously just because of this image that had formed in her mind. A melting pot of the past day and his words earlier today, chaotic and irrational. Shaking her head, she turned away, a slight frown spreading over her face. "No, forget it. It's nothing. "
"No, no, no, Kate. It's not nothing. "He reached out for her face, turning it back to him so she was forced to look at him again, his heart pounding against his ribs. "We're partners, in every way possible, you need to tell me what you wanted to tell me. What is it about a few Thanksgivings from now? You don't want kids and are afraid to tell me? "The second part of the question just rolled from the tip of his tongue, even though he hadn't intended it to.
Grinding his teeth together after he had put his fear into words, he felt his heart sink. He wasn't sure he wanted to hear her answer, but he had to. The confusion that settled on Kate's face confused him even more. None of this fit together.
Like in slow motion, she started to shake her head, and he let his hand sink, trying to process what she could mean before she started talking.
"No, "She mumbled, her brows still furrowed. "No, quite the opposite. "
Castle stared at her, now completely lost, his face and mind blank, unable to understand what was going on.
"Okay, I have no clue what you're getting at. Please help me. "He pleaded with a hint of desperation in his voice.
Kate stared back at him, frustration written all over her face. How could he not get it? He would really have to hear it word for word to understand what she wanted to say but couldn't bring herself to. Usually, he was effortlessly able to read between her words, but as it seemed, today, of all days, he had lost that ability. She considered telling him he should forget it once more and refuse to talk about it any further, but she couldn't bring herself to do that either.
She knew that the thought had already gotten way too big, the longing she had started to feel too real to ignore it. Even if it had first flamed up a couple of hours ago, it had somehow managed to consume her in a way she wasn't used to from any other feeling. And now here she was, with him looking at her, expecting to explain this irrational feeling roaring in her chest, muffling her common sense.
"Kate. "He pushed, and with a sigh, she closed her eyes. If she had to say it, she wouldn't look at him. She didn't want to see his reaction. She was too scared it could hurt her and prove that everything that was going on in her mind was nothing but crazy.
"I think I want a baby. "The words sounded so strange to her ears, admitting it to herself and to him, making her heart stumble over its own beat.
Nothing came back from him, and she kept her eyes shut, only hearing his breathing and the pounding of her own heart in her ears. It felt like minutes had passed until she heard his voice, quiet and hesitant.
"You want a baby? "He was sure he had gotten her wrong. Messed up the words in his head or maybe missed a few. Because she definitely couldn't just have told him she wanted a baby. No, that couldn't be true. Hadn't she said it herself? She wasn't a baby person. And even if she might have enjoyed the presence of little Benny after a while, that would never be enough to change her mind so drastically.
Staring at her, her eyes closed, her expression almost worried with her brows in a frown, he waited for her answer or at least give him a reaction. It took her almost thirty seconds, but when she slowly but firmly nodded her head, he couldn't believe his eyes.
It felt like his whole body started to tingle in excitement. His mind went spinning, barely even able to form a clear thought, his palms growing sweaty and his heart racing.
"Are you serious? Kate, you can't be serious. "His voice sounded just like he was feeling. Excited, nervous, and confused with a hint of happiness.
She nodded again, this time carefully opening her eyes, daring to look at him as he didn't sound like he would start a speech about how she had lost her mind. There was no need for him to tell her that; she knew it very well herself. And she didn't think she could take him pointing it out to her right now, her own confused emotions feeling quite unsteady at the moment.
But his face was glowing, his eyes wide as they met hers, and he reached out for her hands. A cautious smile spread over his lips as he asked her again, "Kate, do you really mean that? "
She wanted to say yes, but it only came out as a choked little sound, so she nodded her head again, but he barely saw it as he was already pulling her into his arms. Wrapping her arms around his body, she buried her face into his neck and felt relief wash over her. It was out, and he didn't reject her or drag it into a joke.
He pushed her away just far enough to get a look at her face. "But where does that come from so suddenly? Because of Benny? "
She shrugged her shoulders and struggled to find her voice again. "If only I knew. "She said quietly, a little smile cautiously forming on her lips. "I don't understand it either. But what you said at the precinct about having little Bennys of our own and then spending this evening with our families. This image formed in my head, and I can't get it back out. "That was the closest to a logical explanation she could get.
He softly nodded to show her he could understand, even if he couldn't really. "But Kate, that is a huge step. We shouldn't rush it. We should take some time to consider it and… "He fell silent at the expression on her face. Her smile had faded, and she even looked a little sad.
No, this wasn't where he wanted this conversation to go. But he had known her long enough to be sure that a step like this was nothing that would make her happy in the long run if she did it halfheartedly.
"Look, "He said, taking her hands back into his. "There is nothing that would thrill me more than starting our own family." Even saying these words sent waves of electricity soaring through his veins. "But this comes so suddenly, and we have the wedding coming up. We've got time, and I don't want you to regret rushing this decision. "
She frowned at him, her hands freezing under his. "Don't you think I can decide on my own what I want and what is important to me? "She didn't understand why these words came out so bitter. He was right. Even considering having a baby was more than rushed, coming out of nowhere. But for some reason, his restraint hit her hard.
Sighing, he caressed his thumb over the back of her hand, trying to get it to soften again. "Of course you can, I'm just very surprised. "And that wasn't even starting to express how he felt; he would never have expected a situation like this. He had always been sure he would be the one who would talk her into starting their family at some point.
"And you don't want to. "She stated dryly, hurt now evident in her voice.
"Of course I want to! God, Kate, you have no idea. "He answered firmly without batting an eye.
She frowned at him and lowered her gaze. Looking at him suddenly felt painful as she felt the irrational hope fading that had built up in her chest all evening. "Then why are you trying to talk me out of it? "
"Hey. "Searching for her eyes, he lowered his head, but she still refused to look at him. "I'm not trying to talk you out of it. I just want to make sure you know what you are deciding on. "
She looked back up at him, her eyes now shimmering with tears, taking him by surprise. "I know what I'm deciding on. I want a family. And I want it with you, and I don't want to wait. Who knows if it would even work until the wedding. "She paused, hearing how heated her voice sounded, taken aback by her own emotions in it. "And I know it is crazy, and we haven't even talked about it before."
She looked at him, her gaze now softer as if she was searching for a hold in his eyes to not get lost in the turmoil of her own feelings. "But I can't help it, Castle."
"Hey, "He said softly to stop her. Taking a moment to look at her, he felt his heart skipping a beat, knowing what he was about to say was true. "I want a baby, too. And I do want it now." The way her face lit up made his excitement spark up again, quickly turning into a flame threatening to leave its burns all over him.
Still, he didn't dare to give in to it. Not without the reassurance that Kate's determination for this wouldn't waver. "But I want to make sure you don't need more time to consider what this decision means." He knew she could never really grasp what it meant. He had been through it once, and sometimes, he still felt like he didn't have a clue, even though his daughter was grown.
Shaking her head, she edged a little closer to him. She didn't want more time. She knew herself well enough to know that more time would only send her into a spiral of overthinking, confusing her about what she felt so clear right now. She didn't want to lose that feeling of certainty. "I don't need more time."
For a few moments, he looked at her, his gaze soft and full of love, feeling this would be enough for him. "Okay." He whispered.
The smile that spread over her face, filling her eyes with joy that seemed to radiate from her whole body, was too beautiful to make him stop himself from pulling her against him, kissing her. As she kissed him back, he could still feel the grin on her lips but on his own as well. In a matter of moments, he felt his own joy taking over, now completely out of control.
A baby. They would start their family. Unbelievable.
Leaning deeper into the kiss, Kate let herself fall back to the mattress, pulling him down with her. He gave in without any resistance, shifting himself onto her body as she already started to pull at his shirt.
"So, right now?" He chuckled, but instead of answering, she just pressed her lips back to his, her smile still evident on them. Accepting that as an answer, he let his lips trail from her mouth to her neck as he pushed her shirt up.
"Oh, Detective Beckett, you have no idea what you're getting into." He murmured against her skin as he let his lips wander down, pulling the shirt over her head.
Burying her hands into his hair, she sighed, "Shut up.", arching her back to press into the touch of his lips.
He let them wander down her body, over her breasts, along her sides, and down her stomach. When he reached her belly button, he pressed countless little kisses to the spot where he hoped he would soon see their child growing, a shiver wandering down his spine at the thought.
Kate stroked her hands through his hair, the smile blossoming on her lips again as his lips hit the skin on her abdomen again and again. Maybe he was right; she had no idea what she was getting into. But that didn't change the feeling that she wanted it.
She gasped when his lips suddenly left the skin of her stomach and wandered deeper, running the tip of his tongue along the rim of her slip. He hooked his fingers into the fabric and pulled them down all the way to her ankles, tossing them aside. Kissing his way back up her legs, he returned to where he left her body.
His palms on her thighs, massaging them softly, she let her legs fall open, leaning her head back in anticipation of what was about to happen. Her hands found their way back to his hair, and as his lips hit her center, she grabbed a handful, knowing it was probably a little painful for him. But the way he teased her with his tongue was kind of painful for her, too. Running it through her folds but always missing her clit on purpose, he soon had her squirming under his touch, just the way he liked it.
Usually, he would draw it out a little longer until she asked him to let her come, but today, he felt the need to get to the point of all of this faster. With a little pressure, he circled his tongue around her clit, then pressed it against it, her body vibrating under his lips as she groaned. He loved how he knew her well enough to know exactly what she needed.
A couple of moments later, he felt her body tensing, her back arched in pleasure, and his name falling from her lips. Rising up, he lowered himself down on her body, bringing his lips to hers while she still recovered from her high, only lazily kissing him back.
But he couldn't wait any longer, desire and excitement taking over him. Placing himself between her thighs, he sunk into her, for the first time in months, not having to bother to use a condom. A deep groan escaped his throat as he felt her surrounding him. Gosh, she felt so good, so much better than she had in months.
Slowly starting to rock his hips against her, he could only think he was glad she had already reached her high once because he wasn't sure he could make it to another one for her. Through the thick layer of pleasure, he felt her body a little tense and stiff under his, knowing very well where it was coming from. No matter how good and right this felt, he was a little nervous, too.
"Relax." He murmured into her ear, slowing down his movements. Softly kissing her lips and cheeks, he waited until he felt the tension slowly leaving her body before he picked up his pace again. Again, he knew what she needed to be able to let go and so he moved in the slow circles that always took her to the edge fast, no different tonight.
He was determined to make it last as long as she needed it to; he longed to make this memory special for both of them, even though he knew it already was. From all the times they had slept together, never had it felt that close and intimate.
She seemed to feel it, too, and the effect it had on her was similar to him. It didn't take long until her moans grew louder, and her body started to tense again, but this time for the right reason. Sweat started to build on his forehead as he felt his climax threatening to wash over him, everything about her too consuming. And when she let go, he did, too, collapsing on her with a loud groan.
Shifting to the side so as not to crush her but still keep the connection of their bodies, he smiled at her as he tried to catch his breath. She turned her head to him, a beaming smile on her face as well.
"That was one of the most exciting things I've done in my entire life." He said between heavy breaths.
Chuckling slightly, she replied, "Yeah, exciting. And a little frightening."
Kissing the smile on her lips, he mumbled, "Too late to change your mind now."
Softly shaking her head, she answered the kiss and pulled him close. "I don't want to." She whispered against his lips and settled into his arms as she felt both their heartbeats slowly calming down again.
"So," Kate started after a few minutes of blissful silence, filled with closeness and thoughts of the future. "What do we do now? I mean, when will we know if.. You know?"
She felt Castle shrugging his shoulders and looked up in surprise. "I don't know, in a few weeks, I guess." He said, and the surprise on her face confused him a little. "Why should I know?"
Shaking her head in disbelief, she said, "Because you always have an idea of everything. Haven't you done research on that topic for one of your books at some point?"
With a low chuckle, he shook his head. "No, I didn't. I used to write Derek Storm for ages, and he obviously never tried to get pregnant. And when we met, I started Nikki Heat, and since the real one is lying beside me, just as clueless…"
He grinned at her, and she returned the expression, remaining silent for a moment, thinking about his words. "Trying to get pregnant." She mumbled, her eyes sparkling with joy. "That sounds crazy."
"I think it sounds beautiful." He mumbled back, pulling her back into his arms. She didn't answer, but he felt how relaxed and content she felt in his arms, and it was answer enough.
"If you want me to, I could do my research now. By tomorrow night, I would be an expert on that matter." The motivation and excitement in his voice made her laugh.
"No, don't do that." She said slowly as she thought about it. "I think we should just wait and see what happens. Without putting us under pressure. I don't want to end like Ryan and Jenny."
Castle couldn't hold back a chuckle at the memories of the stressed-out Ryan when he and Jenny had been trying for a baby. "Well, at least they were successful. The baby could arrive any day now."
She propped herself up on her elbow to look at him, a cheeky smirk on her lips. "I don't think we'll have trouble being successful, either. At least we won't have a problem with a lack of trying."
The way she bit her bottom lip tempted him to just try again right away. "Yeah, you've got a point there." He mumbled, pulling her back down to him.