Enjoy!

ROBYN POV

Another week had passed, and while the snows stayed thick, the sands were running out. Were the tunnels real? Was that where the Marleans were? If so, they could have a whole army down there, waiting to strike at any time. Maybe. Or it was all nonsense, and the tunnels were still blocked off. We wouldn't know anything more until either I was strong enough to tap into Valerie's mind again, or the snows thawed enough for the Marleans to suddenly appear. Patrols were tightened. Training was upped. Not only were we keeping things tight for general upkeep now, but an underlying threat of the unknown had relit the Scout fire. We knew how to endure the unknown, after all, until very recently it had been our main view of the world.

Hanji had gone to the Capital to speak with the queen. They would dig up any old plans they could find, all old documents connected to building plans and all that kind of thing. There was no telling who might or might not know about these tunnels. Built by the Marleans didn't mean no one on Paradis had ever found them before. The White Cloaks seemed to have at least, if my suspicions on Valerie using them were correct, but again we couldn't confirm that without her help. Or maybe someone else from the Cloaks…

At the end of my first week of recovery, as fresh snow layered onto the window sills, a letter made it through from the city. Well, no. Two letters made it through. One from Hanji, letting us know that the search continued, but otherwise all was well. The Queen was being careful, and so were her inner circle – the Marleans had lost their element of surprise, if this was their plan. And the second letter was addressed directly to me. Or rather, The Sanshi. At least they left off the 'rat' part.

Dear Sanshi,

It has come to my attention that you have taken my daughter hostage. This will not stand. Beyond that, we have heard word of you making contact with the enemy nation of Marley by means of capturing one of their vessels. Do not listen to their heathen lies, these are the people rejected by the Titan gift. They are not worth parlaying with. But I am. I reach out to you as a fellow leader, but also as a father. Having not had a decent one of those yourself, I'm sure it's hard to comprehend, but I will do all that I can to save my daughter and ensure her safe return. She is as precious to me as your Captain is to you. Consider that as you decide upon her treatment, and consider how I will punish any wrongdoing that I discover.

We must meet. Respond to this letter quickly and arrange a meet up for us to discuss how this will all play out. We need not be enemies, Sanshi. We have a similar goal – for the people of Paradis to live well.

Danston Entil, White Cloaks High Council Leader.

I set down the paper and picked up my tea. "What a load of shit."

Levi snorted and took the letter to read over himself, his expression looking like he quickly agreed with my summation. The letter was passed around and various versions of my own reaction rippled through the group. We had a new crazy to be dealing with. Clearly the paternal affection was considered in both directions though – I admit that I had assumed it would end up being a fanciful delusion of Valeries that the White Cloak leader held that much love for her. But clearly he did. I could hold my hands up and admit being wrong. Beyond anything else, it gave us an advantage. If he cared that much, we had that much more to bargain with.

I set down my finished tea as Mikasa finished reading the letter, being last to have it handed over. We all had the information. We were all aware of what was coming. It had been the best thing we ever implemented as a team I think, total transparency.

"So," I began, "I think we should set a meeting for next week, somewhere halfway between the town and the HQ. No one is in one another's territory that way, and we can easily scarper if need be."

Levi stared at his own tea, his hands wrapped round it tightly, mind ticking over. The others at the table were nodding gently, clearly on board with my idea. But Levi and then Armin were hesitating. To allow Levi some extra time to process his thoughts, I nodded to Armin first.

He picked up the letter again. "Why does he think you're a leader?"

"He's playing on my ego. I don't consider myself a leader, but if they want to pretend I'm on a power trip, we can pretend as much. Captain Levi and the Commander would be calling the shots though, as usual."

Armin nodded and flattened the letter out. "He's also trying to pick at your nerves over the paternal side of things. It's odd. For the White Cloaks to have been so influential for so long, I wouldn't expect this kind of petty tactic."

Levi clicked his tongue. "Perhaps they were influential because no one knew about them directly, they were a whisper, a rumour, and therefore an unknown. Folks always fear the unknown, don't they? But now that more and more know about the White Cloaks, the limits of their reach are becoming apparent. Maybe."

"Maybe?" I repeated, and he sighed.

"It could all be bullshit. He's not really playing on your ego, or really considers Valerie his adopted kid, he's just saying all that in order to play into our own assumptions. The long game is clearly where these people thrive. We cannot assume a damn thing. And I don't think it's a good idea for you to be anywhere near them, Robyn."

The phrasing. We had it ourselves, and we had deduced the loophole with 'little bird', but we hadn't really had it tested in the field yet. And there was no telling how it might differ when being used by an enemy as opposed to the people I trusted. A hug from a stranger feels very different to one from a friend.

I put my hand over his. "I doubt they'll agree to meet otherwise."

"Maybe. But considering their past crimes against us, it doesn't seem unreasonable to me to at least ask that they enter our territory. They've shown themselves to be devious and cruel, all we've ever done is our duty to Humanity and escape their shit."

"Very true." I nodded and squeezed his hand. "We can propose meeting here, I'm not against it. He sounded pretty haughty in his letter, all demanding rather than negotiating, but we have the upper hand for the time being. Why not play on that?"

Armin ran a hand through his hair. "Very good points. But something about it still doesn't feel right to me. I think it's that line about the Marleans somehow being lesser than us for not bearing the connection to titans. They will never accept peace, or the want of it, or even the pursuit of it. I can't really see any conversation being helpful from them… At all."

"Not for peace maybe." I agreed. "But it could help us figure out how to deal with them. Meeting their leader is a pretty big step, means they're taking us as a threat seriously at long last, rather than simply something to deal with."

He nodded. "Another good point. Alright, I agree with meeting here. The Captain is right, they are far more likely from past behaviours to do something untoward, so they can't really object to us preferring our own territory. This leader… Danston was it?"

My mind itched. I shivered, something aching in my memories at hearing it out loud. "Armin, say that name again?"

"Danston."

I leaned against Levi as my head panged in pain and he put an arm around me. My eyes ached and my tongue felt heavy, like I'd just been sick, or I'd been screaming at someone. I swallowed hard and concentrated on my breathing. Danston. Now that I heard it aloud, it formed into something bigger, bloated and came with a stink of cologne.

"Listen to me, Danston, for god's sake! She's just a child, she shouldn't have to–"

"Dearest Mrs Sanshi, you have made your bloodied bed and this is what it means to lie in it."

I recalled a smile, no a smirk. I recalled the stink of over-priced cologne and the wave of a dismissive hand.

My body jolted and I slammed my hand against the table. "Bastard."

"Whoa, okay what's going on?" Levi made me look at him, scanning my face, no doubt looking for signs of more wear and tear. "Are you remembering something?"

"I think… I think this Danston fucker came to my house." I sighed, shaking my head and accepting a glass of water to sip. "When my mother sought their help, I thought it was just outside the house, but I can remember a conversation. Well, no… An argument. And he's just refusing her pleas. She's practically begging him to help and he's all but laughing in her face…"

"Alright, well don't pursue it okay? Not now."

"Of course." I put my head on his shoulder. "It just flickered into place when hearing that name aloud. Damn. He has terrible choice in cologne."

Armin snorted. "Of all the things to recall… Makes sense though, we have such a strong connection to smell when it comes to memories. You alright?"

"I'll be fine. Just another headache." I rolled my eyes and finished the glass of water.

"Alright, so do you think you're up to writing him back?"

I took back the letter and put it into my pocket. "I'm a bit wobbly at the moment, but I can write a letter."

"I more meant the mental taxation." Armin smiled softly. "These people have been at the helm for a lot of the things wrong with our world, and especially yours. These are people that not only knew of Vincent's cruelty but seemingly, according to your previous recollections and this one, outright refused to help."

My hands wrapped around the tea in front of me. "True. And they've used her want for help against me ever since. Alright, I'll try writing it and if it's too much I'll give you a shout Armin, deal?"

"Deal." And then I looked to my Captain who had once again grown very quiet. He had been doing that a lot lately, ever since my little slip-up with my power. It must have been worrying, of course, but the quiet spells felt like they had something else lingering beneath. Something unsaid. Maybe he just needed more space in order to air it out. The sun was shining, bouncing off the freshly fallen snow, and I fancied some fresh air. I nudged him. "Hey, fancy a walk around the compound with me?"

"You feel up to that? It's freez–"

"Winter coats come in handy in times like these." I winked and got up, he stayed by my side and we went to collect our winter coats.

Perhaps some space will make him feel able to talk. Hopefully. I didn't like the idea of him not feeling able to reach out to me, like I was too weak to handle it. Or maybe I'd broken some of our trust. He had found me sprawled on the ground covered in my own blood, due to nothing but my own stupidity really. Sure I had good intentions, but it must have scared him.

I'd apologise.

The compound was quiet, that dampened quiet that came with the dead of winter, everything softened by the thick blankets of snow on the ground, piled up against the HQ walls and shovelled aside for the patrol horses to get in and out of the stables. But paired with the pale golden sunshine of a blue-skyed day. It was beautiful. A patrol rode along the boundary, calling out their findings of 'clear' etc. and some smoke rose from the kitchens as they busily prepared lunch. Supplies had only been getting better and better with more land to work with and cultivate. The Queen really was going from strength to strength, and so in turn, so were we.

We headed for the training grounds, now big open plains of white, barely touched in the last few weeks since the snows encased us here. Cadets sometimes came out to let off steam, throw snowballs and generally get their cabin fever aired out. But with a fresh snowfall and few gusts of wind, the grounds were wiped clean, now only our footprints to interrupt the blankness.

I took Levi's arm and gave a small squeeze. "You're due an apology, and on top of that I'm sorry it took me so long."

He put his gloved hand over mine and raised a brow. "What're you talking about?"

"You shouldn't have had to find me like that. There's no telling what that's done to your head, or your trust in me, or anything else. You've been quiet the past while, and sure it might not be to do with all this, you can tell me in your own time, but for what it's worth, I'm sor–"

He pulled me into a quick kiss, his lips gentle against mine but still oh-so-warm.

As he leaned back he smiled softly. "No trust has been broken. You have nothing to apologise for. Yes, it was scary as all hell to find you like that, and no I hardly want a repeat of it, but you were just following a theory. It wasn't some brazen Robyn moment of throwing yourself into danger, it was a genuine accident. I know this. The whole HQ knows this." He kissed the end of my nose, it already turning a little pink with the cold. "I know you didn't fling yourself into danger once again, or anything reckless like that. I trust that you didn't intend to do a damn thing except try your theory. Things happen. But you're right on one thing, I have been quiet." He put his head to mine, but then encouraged me to keep moving.

Probably partly to keep us warm, but also to let him find those pesky words. They had a bad habit of eluding him. The snow glittered as we walked, and my breath puffed out white against the chilled air. Like every winter before it, the HQ had ended up feeling a bit like a bubble. We were secluded here. Protected even. Yes the enemies were still there, the dangers still present, but in that moment they felt detached. Almost entirely.

And then he spoke.

"To break the cycle, you'll have to push further than ever before, and I think we both know what that's going to cause."

No pre-amble, no big breath, no pause or wince. Just the fact laid before us like our footprints behind. Stark against the blankness, easily followed to the same conclusion, and making me sink. I held his arm so tightly. I stared at the ground. He was right of course, but I suppose my mind hadn't really taken those steps yet – be that from fear or ignorance, I couldn't be sure. But now it was out there, aloud and known. I had no intention of dying for this, but I was willing to do so. And he knew that. He knew that every time we'd gone on a mission together – he'd had to yank me out of the mouth of a Titan himself.

He shook his head. "And I know that's the case, I'm not about to make you promise things you can't predict, or even begin to be able to understand… But it just hit me the other day as we saw the toll it had all taken on your body and… I guess that scared the shit out of me. Still does. Always will, until it's actually realised or debunked by us finally getting a win, and you not having to die for this shit to end but–"

"Hey." I turned to him and cupped his face, the warmth of his skin still managing to make it through my gloves, the flush of his cheeks likely partly the cold and partly the panic. "Breathe. I'm listening."

He closed his eyes and put his hands over mine. "In those cells I promised that you knew I could let you go… I'm just trying to make myself keep to that. It wasn't for this situation, but the sentiment holds true. I–" He gritted his teeth. "I can't decide if it makes me a good man, or a terrible husband, but I won't make you choose between our life together and Humanity." He then laughed breathlessly. "Damn that sounded conceited now that I say it out loud."

"A little." I chuckled before kissing him tenderly, glad to have those arms wind around me and hold a little too tight. "But I get it. And I'm so grateful to you, Levi. So very fucking grateful. We don't know what's going to happen, we don't know how half this shit even works, but I know you're behind me, I know you're in my corner."

"Always." He breathed, head to mine. "I'm sorry for the quietness, I've just been trudging through my own thoughts, y'know? Trying to figure it out before I went and put my foot in it by speaking too soon."

"Understandable." I kissed him again and encouraged him to keep walking. "But keep in mind how damned hard I'll be fighting to come back to you, alright? I'm not submitting. To the Source, to ancient rights, to whatever the fuck it is that seems to think it can still call the shots today."

He smirked. "You'll be as stubborn as ever. Good to know."

"Damn right. I've been fighting this whole time to enjoy my freedom, to have this life for myself, and more recently, with you. I'm not giving up on that because I happen to have a knack for reaching in and yanking on the balls of the predecessors that fucked us in the first place."

He let go of my hand and put his arm around my shoulder. "Quite right."

"So then, with that out of the way." I ducked out of his hold, grabbed some snow and flung.

Just as some snow smacked into my face as well.

Great minds think alike…

KEZA POV

The sun dipped below the walls and the snow glittered its last in the sunset's light. Me and Numbnuts had always loved the snow as kids, even when it was nipping at our skin like the nastiest beastie possible. But I admit, I do like it even more now, with a pane of glass between me and it, and a roaring fire behind me.

"Miss Keza?"

A little voice peeled into the space and had me smiling, turning to that red-cheeked wee face, going over and kneeling down as she rubbed her tired brown eyes. "Yes, Tara?"

"I can't sleep."

"Probably because you only tried for about 30 seconds." I winked and held out my hand as I stood. "Shall we try again, but perhaps this time with a quick story?"

"Oh yes please!"

"Pah, as if that wasn't the idea all along. I'm onto you, missy."

She giggled and we walked back to her room. Next week she would be moving in with the folks that had adopted her. My own home had become a kind of half-way point for the kids, or the occasional break from the main orphanage. We did all we could for them there, but sometimes they needed individual attention and so I was happy to open up my spare room to it. Didn't hurt that the Queen always gave me a little pay bump to go with it, but hey, a girl's gotta eat.

It took two short stories and a warmed glass of milk, but finally Tara settled into those blankets and let herself sleep. She was a good girl, just nervous. She knew at the other end of this week it would be new walls, a new bed and a new family to learn to be with. Step by step, I'd get her there. Prepare her for that whole new aspect of her life. She'd be fine. In fact no, bugger that, she'd thrive. That was the whole point, right?

So with those hopes in mind, it's not hard to imagine my response to an uninvited noise in my basement. And definitely something louder than a mouse. Certainly something bigger than a rat. Assuredly something less welcome than a stray cat or dog, too. I set down my tea, calmly went to the kitchen and took a knife off the wall. I pretended to chop vegetables, I didn't flinch when the basement hatch squeaked open, I continued to hum when those few cautious steps forward were taken.

And then I swung round, backhanded the fucker and pinned him to the ground with that knife at his throat.

He stared, wide-eyed. I pressed the blade until it pinched his skin and glanced back at the door. No other noises. No whispering, no scrambling, nothing. Alright, presumably alone then, or with some very cautious friends.

Back to him.

I looked him over and only then realised that this wasn't some homeless chap trying his luck with a single woman's home, no, no, this was a soldier. And a uniform I didn't recognise. But that insignia, I did. Marlean. I tilted my head and nodded to it, narrowing my eyes and pressing the blade a little harder.

He gasped. "Please! I just needed some food and–"

"So why's there a bloody gun in the corner from you dropping it? Don't need to hold a gal at gunpoint to ask for some bread, don't need to weasel into her basement either."

"Y'can see my uniform, I couldn't exactly go to your front door!"

"And you just happen to come across my house, hm?"

Just so happened to be under the house of a woman that not only is the widow of the previous Commander of the Scouts, is currently very pally with the leading members of the Scouts, and gets along bloody well with the Queen on top of that. Uhuh. Bullshit had never stunk so strongly. I was in for a wild ride, wasn't I? As long as it was just him, and I could keep Tara safe, the rest could be wrangled later.

He was sizing me up as he lay there, but I let him come to his own conclusions. Go ahead bucko, underestimate me.

"So you understand where I'm from?" He asked slowly, as if speaking too quickly might bamboozle me. I nodded. His eyes tightened. "We have a proposition for you."

"How did you even get into the city? Into the walls even."

"We have our ways."

Alright, he seemed to buy that I didn't know about the tunnels, which meant they hadn't snooped that well from the Scout HQ recently. So either Robyn and her pals were managing to keep things tight-lidded, or the rats had been rooted out. Either way, good news.

"Pretending to be mole-people seems to be one of them." I sat back a little. "But alright, what's the proposition? One wrong move and you're dead."

"If I don't return to my troop, you'll have started an all-out war."

I raised a brow. "You've snuck into Eldian territory with the intent of corrupting one of its citizens, I think that's already a line we've crossed, buddy."

C'mon Fuckface, tell me what you know. Did they have intel on Numbnut's newfound connection to stuff? To her means of controlling the Titan shit? I had to warn them if these Marleans knew too much. Then again, it didn't seem likely that they'd trust me enough to divulge that. Then again you'd think they'd send someone a bit better at sneaking – I'm a skilled lady, but let's face it, I'm still just a bloody civilian and I've got this guy flattened. Poor show.

He sighed. "We seek to create peace, but those in charge currently seem hell-bent against such a route. Did you hear of them capturing a vessel?"

"A vessel full of soldiers and combat supplies, aye. Very peaceful."

"Mere safety nets for our men." He continued, the script rolling off his tongue nicely. The Marleans hadn't sought peace at all, they'd been filling our lands with Pure Titans for gods know how many decades and then blasted past our walls with their Shifters. They wanted us Eldians destroyed. At least, those leading their military did. I wonder what the civilians over there thought of it all… Maybe It was high time we sent one of our own there to take a look…

"Alright, safety nets. What of it?"

He nodded. "Thank you. They captured the men, tortured them, questioned them, it's awful."

Lies. They've been detained and questioned but otherwise treated fairly – Commander GooGoo wouldn't do it any other way.

"I see, and you're coming to me as a way in because…"

"You are a civilian, a real Eldian in the thick of everyday life. Don't you want to avoid war? For yourself, and also these children you tend to?"

I nodded. "Of course. But what is it you want from me in order to help that along?"

"The power of the Shifters is the problem in all of this." The man set his jaw tightly. "Through them so much destruction has been dealt, on both sides."

Oh yes, because Marlean cities were lying in ruins weren't they? Maybe a couple hundred years ago, but that had nothing to do with us Eldians now. Memories and history books might be long-winded, but bloody hells, no one in these walls had even known of Marley thanks to some old King Twat. These people with all their big schemes and egotistic plans. Just let people live, stop scrambling for more land, we have enough, stop scrambling for more power, it does nothing but brew bigger problems. Idiots.

I tilted my head and then amped up the acting. Alright, I'll play the part of the foolish soft-hearted woman that runs the orphanage. Okay. I fluttered my lashes like I was avoiding tearing up, I looked towards the stairs which led to the bedroom Tara slept in, I looked to the sketch someone had done of me and the Queen in front of the orphanage. I sniffed. "Mm, you have my attention. So…?"

He smirked. "You know the first to be harmed in such conflicts is always the civilians, right?"

"Countless died when the Colossal first attacked, yeah." I said thickly frowning down at him, not playing too hard the fool as presumably I'd been picked for some reason other than some prat assuming a motherly type was easily swayed. I had a brain.

He frowned. "True. A sorry loss, but only done in the seeking of the founding. We do not wish for an all-out war, but we also cannot be kept under the thumb of such a threat."

I sniffed again. "But what would the Founding count as a threat for? How does it–"

"You know there are colossals in the walls." He snapped, eyes lighting with the hatred I knew burned beneath. "Setting those free upon the earth would finish what little Humanity remains in these lands. And there can be no peace talks with that threat still in play."

Good thing Robyn was actively seeking how to disconnect us all from that power then, wasn't it? But he wasn't here to listen to reason. It wouldn't land like that, he would take it back to his superiors as an Eldian doing experiments for more power. Which to be fair, was exactly what Fucknugget Vincent had done. Regardless, we were all aiming for the same thing, it was the trust that was the issue right now. So maybe I could delay some Commander or General or whatever from Marley from fucking that up prematurely, by playing their mole and delaying their stupidity.

"Fair." I sat back a little more. "Alright… What do you want me to do?"

Let's find out how I'm stopping the stupidity of people today…

Cya next time!