The next day — the day of Lee's funeral — dawned bright and sunny, and Amanda knew it was done.

She lay in bed, contemplating the shadows on the ceiling, her heart a leaden weight. It hardly seemed possible that Lee had changed her life so completely in just four months, but with his death, it seemed like the light had gone out of it. She glanced over at her bedside table, at the only photo she had of the two of them together. Dotty had taken it at Christmas and she had captured the gleam in Lee's eyes and the depths of his dimples perfectly. She gave a small sob, knowing she would never see him again.

She reached out and picked up the photo, holding it upright on her chest as she stared at the man she had so completely fallen for in less than a heartbeat.

Had it really only been a week since they'd spent New Year's Eve together and he'd promised that she wouldn't still be a secret?

Every agent has a confidential envelope. No one knows what's in it until, well, until there's a trigger."

"A trigger?"

"If anything happens to an agent, there's a protocol," he explained. "Before they do anything, the agent's supervisor opens the envelope and sees if the agent left any instructions. After Las Vegas, I updated mine. It includes my new will, so you'll get everything."

"What I don't understand, Sweetheart, is why you lied," she whispered, tracing a finger along his face. "I didn't need anything from you, but how do I face everything after this, when no one but Mother and I know the truth? Why did you tell me it would all be in the file? I could handle Mr. Melrose being angry that we'd lied to him, if only it meant you weren't still my secret."

The Lee in the photograph provided no answers, and after a few minutes of silent tears, Amanda got up and faced the first day of her life without him.

Amanda stayed in the car when she got home. In fact, she stayed there staring into space for so long that Edna Gilstrap, who was watching the activity on the street from her front window, almost got up and came out to see if she needed help. Eventually though, she took a deep breath, collected her belongings and headed inside.

The sounds of happy family life coming through from the den as she came in the front door was both comforting and distressing. Comforting because she knew that she still had a wonderful home, but distressing because she knew she was about to throw a shroud over all of it.

"Mother?" she called out as she took off her coat. "I'm home."

The boys quit wrestling for long enough to shout out cheerful greetings, then resumed their roughhousing.

"Darling, I'm just finishing up some stew to leave for you and Lee before we head off to Williamsburg," Dotty's voice came from the kitchen. "I thought you said you'd be home earlier than this. We almost didn't get a chance to say goodbye!"

Amanda's heart seized and she stopped in her tracks at the bottom of the stairs, grabbing the newel post to keep herself from doubling over at the flash of pain that hit her at those words. She bit her lip and willed her body to take its next breath.

"Amanda? Are you alright?" Dotty had appeared at the bottom of the family room steps, drying her hands on a cloth.

"Yes, Mother, I'm fine," she managed to get out. "But I need to tell you something."

"Well, come and tell me whatever it is while I finish this up," said Dotty cheerfully, turning back. "I know you said I didn't need to leave you anything, but I had some extra time today and I know this is Lee's favorite."

Amanda took another deep breath and headed up and over the steps. She paused at the bottom to look at the boys, red-faced and giggling as they rolled around the floor, then turned and took the few steps into the kitchen, where Dotty was adding another shake of salt to the pot on the stove.

"Hi Honey, I'm home," came a deep teasing voice on her left.

Amanda stilled, the shock of it going through her like a bomb blast. She turned her head and met the laughing eyes of Lee's ghost as he stood on the far side of the kitchen. The spark of pure joy lasted less than a split second before reality struck. She could feel the blood leave her face as she stared at him until his smile began to falter, replaced by a growing look of concern.

"Amanda? Are you alright, darling?" asked Dotty.

The apparition on the other side of the room stepped forward, holding out a hand and in that instant, everything crystalized in her mind. She turned on her heel and left, walking back to the den and disappearing upstairs.

Lee was shaken by Amanda's reaction, having been certain she'd be happy to see him.

"Amanda? Amanda, darling, what's the matter?" Dotty called after her but received no response. She turned to look at Lee, confusion written all over her face. "Whatever could be wrong? She looked dreadful! Maybe I should cancel our trip."

Lee gave a slight grimace. "No, don't do that. It's been a bit of a rough week at work and I'm sure she's just reacting to that. I'll look after her; you and the boys just go enjoy the weekend."

"Are you sure?" asked Dotty doubtfully. "Maybe she's coming down with something."

"I'm sure," Lee reassured her, "and besides, I'm here, I can look after her."

"Alright," said Dotty, that look of doubt still not entirely erased. The doorbell rang and Dotty jumped slightly. "Oh goodness, there's Bernice now to pick us up! Philip, Jamie, you run up and say goodbye to your mother and then come straight back down here so we don't keep Mrs. Miller waiting."

The boys jumped up and thundered upstairs. Lee moved to the bottom of the stairs, straining his ears to hear what was going on, but heard nothing more than the murmurs of a quiet conversation in Amanda's bedroom.

"Bye Mom! Love you too!" shouted Phillip as he hurtled back down.

"Bye Mom!" echoed Jamie, right behind him.

"You're sure we should go?" asked Dotty. "She looked positively gray just now."

"I'm sure," Lee reiterated. "Besides, if she's not feeling well, it will be nice to have a nice quiet house to recuperate in, right?"

Dotty glanced at her boisterous grandsons who were heaving their suitcases out the door. "You're right – a break is probably just what she needs. But you'll call if you need anything, won't you? We're at the Pig and Plum in Williamsburg; the number's on the fridge."

"I promise," said Lee, ushering her towards the door. "Now you just go and enjoy your weekend."

With one last glance up the stairs, Dotty subsided but stopped on the front step. "Tell her goodbye from me, won't you?" she asked. "And that I love her."

"I will," he promised.

He waited on the doorstep, waving goodbye, cheerful expression in place until Mrs. Miller's car disappeared around the corner, then stepped back inside to the foyer. He squared his shoulders and went upstairs, pausing outside Amanda's bedroom. He couldn't hear anything, so he stepped into the doorway.

Amanda was standing in the middle of the room, staring at the floor, every part of her body rigid with suppressed emotion.

"Hi," he offered softly.

"You're alive," she stated. "You're alive and right here in my house."

"Yep," he said, and opened his mouth to go on but then Amanda looked up and he saw her eyes were blazing with rage.

"And you're angry," he said.

"I came home today…" Her voice broke and she fought to get herself back under control. "I came home today expecting to have to tell my mother that you were dead. And instead, I find you joking around with her in my kitchen as if my whole life hasn't been upside down for the last three days." She held up a hand as he approached her. "Three days, Lee. Three days where I tried to understand what was going on because well, you couldn't really be dead, could you? Except that no one would tell me anything else. Three days when you could have called and let me know you were alright. Three days while I tried to pretend to my family that nothing was wrong. And then today, I went to your funeral, alone, without anyone who knew what you really meant to me and then-" She stopped to gasp in another breath. "And then I came home to tell my mother that I'd been living a lie this whole time and that you were dead and buried and she didn't even have a funeral to go to."

"Amanda," Lee murmured, his face tight with shame. "I know it was bad, but you should have-"

"Don't," she said, the fury returning to her voice. "Don't tell me I should have known that it was all a joke or a scheme or some kind of ploy or anything else." She was trembling as she spoke. "Do you know that for the first two days, I was absolutely certain that it was something like that and that somehow, everything would be alright, and then this morning, I woke up and knew it wasn't." She stepped forward and poked him in the chest with one finger. "And do you know how I knew? Because I knew that no man who knew I loved him and had told me he loved me could ever be so incredibly cruel that he'd make me attend his funeral and watch his coffin get lowered into the ground if there was any way he could have stopped it."

Lee moved toward her, reaching to take her in his arms, but she stepped back, not letting him near.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, his hands dropping back to his sides. "But if there was any way this was going to work, no one could know."

"You could have told me," she said. "You're telling me now. Why wait?"

"I couldn't convince Billy to let me tell you without explaining to him why I needed to tell you!" he exclaimed, running his hand over his head. "I didn't like it, but-"

"You could have called," she interrupted him. "He wasn't with you every second. You could have called, you could have left a coded message, you could have done almost anything, but instead you let me think you were dead and that everything you'd ever told me about looking after me was a lie." She shook her head as if trying to clear out her thoughts. "I stood at that gravesite, listening to people give speeches about what an honorable man you were and I spent the whole time wondering what else you'd lied to me about."

"I never lied to you, Amanda, not about any of that, I swear," he entreated her.

She said nothing, just stared at him with a forbidding expression.

"So, was it a nice funeral?" he asked, trying to break the mood. "Nothing fancy, I hope?"

Lee hadn't even realized Amanda was moving until her hand connected with his cheek in a resounding slap. There was an instant of shocked silence before she began crying, loud uncontrollable sobs of pure grief.

This time she didn't move away when Lee gathered her into his arms and held her tight against him.

"How can you joke about it?" she sobbed. "I really thought I'd lost you and it hurt so much. And I was frightened too." Her arms came up to cling to him.

"I know, I know," he soothed her, moving to sit on the foot of the bed and pull her against him as she continued to weep against his chest. "But I'm here now and you can stop crying."

Amanda pulled back out of his embrace just enough to punch him lightly with one hand. "Look, I know you hate tears, but you brought this on yourself."

"But they're happy tears, right?" he wheedled. "You're not angry I'm alive, are you?"

Amanda gave off a watery gurgle of a laugh, then lifted her hands and wiped her eyes. "Of course, I'm not angry you're alive, but I haven't been able to cry this whole time. If I cried at home, Mother would ask me what was wrong and I couldn't at work because it hurt too much and today at the funeral, there were all these nameless strangers and of course none of them were crying, not even Francine, and I just kept it all bottled up until now."

"I'm so sorry," he murmured, pulling her close again. "You're right – I deserve the tears. And that slap."

Amanda held out her hand and flexed it gently. "You know, I've never hit anyone before. They make it look so easy in the movies, but it really hurts."

Lee immediately took her hand and manipulated it carefully, looking for injury before gently kissing the palm. "Guess I should teach you how to hit, huh?"

"Why? Are you planning to play dead again?" she asked, her voice light but with the tiniest tremble that told him she was not really ready for the jokes yet.

"Not if I can help it," he answered, "but I really was almost dead this time." She stiffened and pulled back to stare at him in horror. He pulled her in for a reassuring kiss on the forehead. "He jumped me outside Monk's three nights ago."

"Oh my gosh, are you alright?" she asked, starting to run her hands over him.

"I'm fine," he replied. "Just a little vent on my shoulder to match the one from Christmas. No, no," he went on when she looked even more horrified. "It's really just a scratch; his knife got too tangled in my coat for any real injury." He took her chin between his fingers. "Honestly, I'm fine. Didn't even need stitches."

"I'll confirm that for myself later if you don't mind," she replied tartly. "But what is going on? Why did you pretend at all?"

"He got chased off before he could finish the job, so Billy and I figured we'd let him think I was dead and let him relax thinking he was safe for a while. He'd never suspect I was investigating my own murder, after all." He squeezed her hand. "You and Billy are the only ones who know the plan, so I'm sorry, but you will have to go on pretending for a while. And Billy wants to see you in the morning. Try not to be too mad at him, okay? Remember, he doesn't understand everything."

Amanda sighed. and twisted her fingers together. "That's going to be worse, I think. Not the being mad at him," she explained off his look. "The part where I've spent three days trying not to look grief stricken and now I have to go in and pretend to still be sad when I know you're alive."

"Oh, that shouldn't be so hard," he teased. "Everyone else will have put it behind them by now."

"Lee!" she exclaimed. "People at the Agency were really broken up about this! Your friends are really upset!"

"Really?" Lee sounded honestly surprised. "I thought everyone would just go into agent mode. All business, nothing personal."

"Well, for one thing, not everyone at the Agency is an agent," she scolded him. "There was a nice lady in the Personnel department who could barely talk to me without starting to cry."

"Stamps?" he asked, startled. "Stamps cried?"

"Of course, she did!" said Amanda. "And Mrs. Marston too! As hard as it is for you to believe, a lot of people actually liked you." She rolled her eyes at his expression of doubt. "And I know I just said Francine didn't cry at the funeral, but she's been coming in with shadows under her eyes and she's been so quiet… She won't let anyone see it, but she's hurting too."

"I'm going to have a lot of apologizing to do, aren't I?" he said ruefully. "Am I going to have to stand in the lobby and let them all slap me?"

"Well, it would probably make them feel better," Amanda acknowledged with a slight smile. "But I think catching the guy who's doing this will go a long way to mending fences."

She leaned in and wrapped her arms around him, relaxing as his arms circled her and brought her close. "I'm so glad you're here," she said, her voice breaking a little.

"I'm glad I'm here too," he said, rocking her gently. "You know," he said in a studiously, casual tone. "We have a little while until that stew is finished cooking…"

She lifted her head and gave a laugh. "Lee Stetson, do not even try to tell me we have five minutes right now! I'm sure my eyes are puffy and my face is all red and blotchy and I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to forgive you yet."

"Well, I was going to say I could really go for a sandwich," he replied, the laugh rumbling out of his chest, "but now that you mention it…"

Amanda laughed and Lee cupped her face in his hand. "But even if you did have puffy eyes," he paused and wiped his thumb under them to dry off the last of the tears. "Or blotchy skin - which you don't! – you would still be the most beautiful woman in the world to me. I love you very much, Amanda and it was killing me not to let you know none of it was true."

He leaned and kissed her lips, gently, then when she didn't withdraw, kissed her again, tasting the salt of her tears that still lingered on her face. Amanda sighed and relaxed against him, at which encouraging sign, his hands moved to her waist, working their way under the blouse he pulled from her waistband.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too, but I'm still mad at you," she murmured, her lips skating across his cheek.

"I know," he answered.

"And I might never forgive you."

"Never is a very long time," he said. His lips had reached that particular spot on her collarbone that he loved to nuzzle, and Amanda gave a small encouraging gasp.

"Do you really want that sandwich?" she asked.

"No," he chuckled.

She pulled him back onto the bed, tucking herself against him. "Good. Because I haven't slept well for days and I need a nap."

Lee laughed and went to move his hands out from under her blouse.

"No, leave them there," she ordered. "I need you to hold me for a while." She twisted her fingers in his shirt and closed her eyes.

"That sounds perfect," he answered.

She was silent long enough that Lee thought she must have dozed off before he heard her say quietly, "Thank you for coming back to me."

He pressed a kiss into her hair. "I never left."

"But I thought you had," she reminded him. She was silent for a moment. "I went to your apartment today, after the funeral. That's why I was late getting home."

"Were you hoping I'd be there? I should have been there," he groaned.

"No, at first, I just wanted to say goodbye to you somewhere private, you know?" She felt him nod and he gave her a squeeze. "And then I started to wonder who was going to come through and empty it out, since no one knew about us. And so then I started looking for everything that I'd left there because I didn't want anyone to find it and think… well you know."

"That you were just one of my flings?" he asked.

"Mmm-hmm. And then I got a little angry that you'd lied."

Lee's eyebrows went up. "How angry? Did you trash the place?" he asked, only half-joking.

Amanada gave a small snicker. "No, nothing like that. I just realized that I shouldn't be worried about people thinking I was just some girlfriend when all I had to do was find the marriage certificate and I could march into Billy's office and prove it."

"It's in the top left desk drawer," he said.

"I know, I found it. Now it's in my purse."

"My real file really does have everything written out," said Lee. "I promise. You get everything I have, except for some stuff for my uncle."

She swatted him half-heartedly. "Lee! I can't believe you think I care about that! I didn't want to prove we were married so I could get anything – I wanted proof that it was real!"

"Well, it doesn't matter anyway," he said, unreasonably pleased at that honest reaction. "My real file has my real updated will."

"Good thing I didn't go straight back to the Agency with all the paperwork, huh?" Her voice was a mix of a laugh and a sigh.

"I am so sorry," Lee repeated. "I just didn't think this through. I'm still so used to doing stuff alone when I'm working, and it seemed like a good idea to keep you in the dark for just a little while… Nothing like this will ever happen again, I swear."

"Pinky swear?" she smiled.

"Oh, I don't know," he teased. "Pinky swears are pretty serious stuff, you know."

She twisted her little finger around his. "Yes they are, Sweetheart. Right up there with wedding vows."

A smile lit up his face and he leaned in to kiss her properly for the first time, a passionate embrace that left her breathless before he leaned back, leaning on his elbow and smiling down at her.

"What was that for?" she asked, eyes dancing.

"That's the first time you've called me Sweetheart since I got here," he answered. "I figured maybe you were forgiving me a little."

Amanda considered that for a moment. "Maybe, a little," she conceded.

"What do I have to do for you to forgive me a lot?" he asked, dimples creasing his cheeks.

Amanda pretended to give that some thought. "Got five minutes?" she asked, pulling him down again.