I'm sorry this update took so long! I was visiting my family and then made the mistake of reading the masterpiece of a story "Manacled" by SenLinYu in the Dramione fandom. For the past few days, I've spent every waking minute reading this 320k word story and couldn't focus on anything else. But now I'm back and back to my own stories.
Unfortunately, this chapter didn't turn out very long, either. But I will try to update a bit faster now. Thanks for the feedback on the last chapter and I hope you'll like this one, too!
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"Kate." His voice met her ears, muffled through her sleepiness, and she replied nothing more than a low groan.
"Kate." He repeated a little louder, loud enough to sound clear to her, making it hard to ignore.
"Castle." She mumbled, turning her head into her pillow. "Let me sleep."
"No. Kate, get up." His hand came to rest on her shoulder, squeezing it slightly.
"God." She groaned in frustration, blinking at the alarm clock on her nightstand. "Dammit Castle, it's 5:30 am. I've got one hour left before I have to get up. Let me sleep!"
She tried to pull the covers over her head, but something he placed on her nightstand directly before her eyes as she blinked caught her attention. "What is that?" She mumbled, letting the covers sink again, her mind sobering quickly as she eyed the small box.
"A pregnancy test," Castle stated, his voice low but excited.
Now fully awake, Kate sat up, stroking her messy hair from her face. "Where did you get that?" She asked, looking confusedly from the box to Castle, who was sitting on the edge of the bed.
"At the drug store. Yesterday." A little smirk played around his lips. "Come on, take it." He said, barely able to hold the excitement and impatience in his voice under control.
"What?" Kate replied. Maybe she wasn't quite as awake as she had thought and missed something. "Why should I take it now?"
Sighing, Castle sat down at the edge of the bed, facing her. "It's been three weeks since we first tried, and you didn't get your period. So, I figured it might be worth a try."
Kate stared at him for a second. "You've been keeping track?" She asked in surprise. Of course, she had noticed that she hadn't gotten her period, too. But she didn't put any meaning to it.
"But Castle, you know it's never regular. It's nothing unusual." She said softly, reaching out for his hands.
"Yeah, I know." He answered, tenderly playing with her fingers. "But there is a chance. Did you feel any different in the last few weeks?"
The anticipatory tone in his voice made Kate sigh, and she took a few seconds to think about it. But no, she didn't feel any different at all. So she shook her head truthfully, but nothing about his joyful expression changed.
"That doesn't have to mean anything. But are you sure? No loss of appetite, nausea, tiredness, sore breasts?" Kate's eyebrows shot up her forehead at his words.
"Seems like someone couldn't stop himself from doing a little research." She mumbled, not sure whether she found it irritating or sweet. "Whatever happened to no pressure."
With a sheepish smile, he replied, "I'm sorry. I was just so excited."
Kate sighed again. Sweet, she found it sweet. And she could understand. Her fingers had started to type all the questions in her head into her phone's internet browser more than once, but she had always stopped them. She wanted to enjoy this, not stress about it. And she knew she would stress about it the more she knew about it.
"Castle," She started softly. "I really don't feel any different at all. And I don't want us to get our hopes up and then be disappointed."
Shaking his head, he fastened his grasp around her hands. "I won't be disappointed, I promise. But I have a good feeling about this. I don't know why."
Chewing on her cheek, she thought about it for a moment. "But I might be disappointed. And I don't want to feel anything negative about this. We have been so happy these last few weeks. I don't want to ruin it. And Castle, I am absolutely sure that I am not pregnant."
Edging a little closer to her, he reached up and cupped his hand around her cheek. "If that's the case, we'll try again. And again, until it works. But we would have to find out sooner or later anyway, wouldn't we?"
Shrugging her shoulders, she replied, "Or we just wait for my period to come."
"And if it doesn't?" Castle answered without batting an eye. "What if you are pregnant and we don't know it because you didn't take a test? You would have to go to the doctor, get vitamins and other stuff. Your job is dangerous, we would need to take precautions. And we would miss out on so much happiness."
His last words and the smile on his lips as he said them made her smile, too. "Yeah, you've absolutely understood the no pressure part." She chuckled, unable to stop herself from loving him even a little more for spending so much thought on this matter.
With an apologetic shrug of his shoulders, he leaned in a little closer. "Please take the test. Even if it's only for me."
Looking into his eyes for a few seconds longer, Kate sighed in defeat. She took the box from the nightstand and threw the covers aside to get out of bed. Castle jumped up before her feet could even touch the floor.
Shaking her head with a grin on her lips over his excitement, she walked over to the bathroom. With her hand on the handle, she turned around to him, searching for his eyes. "Promise me you won't be disappointed."
"I promise I won't be disappointed." He said, lifting his hand as if he had to make an oath before a judge. "But I do have a good feeling about this. And I trust my feelings."
Rolling her eyes, Kate went into the bathroom, closing the door behind herself. She walked over to the sink and opened the box. Pulling out the little plastic stick, she noticed he had bought one of the expensive ones with a digital display. Good, so they at least wouldn't have to discuss whether there might be the faintest line, as she had with her roommate at college a few times. The only difference was that, in this case, the second line would be a reason for joy.
Ignoring the instructions in the box, she went right for the toilet, taking the cap off of the stick, and it felt a little ridiculous doing so. She knew it would turn out negative; why had she even allowed herself to be talked into this? Castle could have just burned those ten dollars instead. Most probably, she would get her period by the end of the week, and they could have delayed the moment of disappointment that was inevitably to come.
When she was done, she placed the cap back on the stick with a sigh, checked it, and saw a little hourglass blinking in the field for the results. She had never taken one of those tests before but had noticed the advertisements a little more in the past few weeks. She figured a symbol that told her to wait looked like it was working.
She laid the test on the sink to wash her hands. Looking at her reflection in the mirror, she took in her own face. She looked exactly the same and felt exactly the same as always. No, she wasn't pregnant. There was no way she wouldn't notice. The thought that the test could possibly still turn out positive wanted to cross her mind, but she pushed it back before it had a chance to. It would be enough to see Castle's disappointment, and she knew he would be disappointed no matter what he said. There was no need for her to get dragged down into it, too, when she knew better.
She picked up the test and checked it again, but the hourglass was still blinking. Walking out of the bathroom, she startled a little at Castle, jumping up from the bed, a grin on his face.
"And?" He walked towards her, and she met him in the middle of the bedroom. Holding up the test, she shrugged her shoulders, coming close enough to lay her free hand on his chest.
"We'll have to wait a couple of minutes." She sighed and gave him a sympathetic smile. She knew how he was feeling even though she hadn't allowed her own hopes to get as high as his. Actually, she hadn't allowed them to build up at all.
"But Castle, believe me when I say I know I am not pregnant." His grin didn't waver one bit, and she reached up to stroke her thumb over his cheek. His arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her close.
"And you believe me when I say I have a good feeling about this." He smiled, and Kate almost couldn't take it. The hope and happiness in his voice were so firm, so tempting. But she wouldn't give in to it.
"I know. But that doesn't mean…" Just as she lowered her gaze to avoid him luring her into his hopeful state, her eyes caught the image of the hourglass pausing for a moment longer than it had before.
The next second, it vanished, leaving the digital field empty for a heartbeat her own heart didn't make. Then, a single word appeared where the blinking symbol had been. Clear and steady in big, black letters.
Pregnant.
She felt her whole body tensing into a frozen state, her eyes glued to the little white stick in her hands. Unable to move one muscle or form a word or even a thought, her breath caught in her throat, and her heart started beating so furiously in her chest that it might just stop as well.
She heard Castle talking somewhere behind the sound of blood rushing through her ears, but she didn't register one of his words. The only word existing right now seemed to be the one before her eyes.
It took Castle a couple of seconds to feel that she had gone stiff in his arms as he was pouring out the information he had gathered about how some women never felt pregnancy symptoms at all, blinded by excitement and anticipation.
"… and some don't even notice until…" He felt her taking a shaky breath in his arms, causing her upper body to tremble. Looking down at her, he frowned. "What?"
He took a step back, his palms resting on her arms so as not to lose contact with her body, and followed her gaze. Her fingers were tightly holding onto the little plastic stick in her hand, and she stared at it, seeming completely absentminded.
"What?" He repeated, excitement flooding his body and almost making him dizzy.
Kate didn't move, didn't speak, just stared down at the test, so he took it out of her clenched fingers.
He read the word for what felt like a dozen times, but he was still not able to process it for a few moments. The excitement exploded into sheer breathtaking joy, almost making his legs give in as it roared through him, consuming every inch of him.
"Ha!" He called out so loud that it could easily wake up his mother, who was sleeping upstairs.
His feet started moving on their own account, taking a few steps back, then leading them back to Kate, almost jumping through the room. He pulled her into his arms, almost crushing her, but he felt like he had lost all self-control.
"I knew it!" He blurted, too caught up in his own emotions, to notice that Kate remained frozen in his arms, her only movement her shocked gaze that wandered up to his face as he pulled away to look at her.
Her expression hit him like a train, sobering him from the pure joy he was feeling. "What?"
She opened her mouth, her eyes still wide and empty, but not a word came over her lips.
"What, Kate?" He asked, fear creeping up his neck. She couldn't have changed her mind. She couldn't possibly not want this baby anymore, could she? Because he knew he couldn't live with that if she didn't.
"You don't want this anymore?" He said, taking a cautious step back as she inhaled another strangled breath.
"I.. I am.. I…" She started, but her voice failed her.
"Kate." His voice sounded almost pleading, desperation already mixing into it. "You're panicking."
Forcing herself to move, she shook her head. The small movement freeing her from her freeze as first slowly but then all so suddenly the thoughts and feelings erupted through her mind and chest. Pregnant. A baby. She was going to have a baby. A baby.
"We are going to have a baby." She said breathlessly, staring at him, and he could see the first flickers of emotions reaching her eyes again. Panic, confusion, fear. And then her eyes suddenly softened and melted into the shiny glance she had had in them the last three weeks.
"We are going to have a baby!" The words came out as a sob through her strangled throat as the smile took over her lips. A moment later, Castle's arms were around her again, pressing her against him as her legs threatened to give in.
"We are going to have a baby." He repeated, mumbling the words into her hair, pure relief crashing down on his, allowing the joy to flame up again.
"Kate, I love you. More than words could ever describe." He started to laugh, tightly holding onto her, the test still in his hand. "Gosh, you scared me for a second."
"I was scared, too." She mumbled against his chest. For a moment of shock, she had actually thought this was a mistake, and now there was no turning back. But it hadn't been more than a couple of heartbeats. And she knew it was a trick of her mind. It wasn't what she felt.
What she felt was pure happiness, warming every fiber of her being. And a feeling of being overwhelmed like she had never experienced it before. How could this be real?
"I don't get it." She whispered. "How could this have happened so fast?" She had been convinced it would take a while, like it did for most couples. She hadn't even had a regular period for months and hadn't done anything like Ryan and Jenny had. Maybe the test was wrong? She should have looked at the instructions.
But Castle muffled her thoughts with a chuckle and said, "Wel, I can't tell which time exactly it was, but I can't definitely tell you how it happened."
Kate shook her head as disbelief tried to get the better of her. "But we didn't even try for a month."
"Maybe that tells us it was meant to be," Castle whispered, with his voice full of love, before he bent down to kiss her.
As she kissed him back, still not quite convinced they could actually be this lucky, Castle's hand that wasn't holding the test wandered around her body, coming to rest on her abdomen where it had already laid a couple of times in the last few weeks. But it felt completely different now. Like his touch on her stomach made the pieces fall into place as his palm covered the spot where their child had started growing without her noticing.
Her hand found his on its own, covering it, joy spiraling in her chest, her lips forming into a grin against his. He pulled apart and leaned his forehead against hers. "I am convinced it is meant to be." Looking into her eyes for a few seconds with an expression of pure love and adoration he brought his gaze away and lowered it to their hands on her stomach.
Bending down until his face was on the same height, he whispered, "I know you are meant to be."
The shiver that ran down Kate's body was almost enough to knock her off her feet. But before it could, he straightened up again, and suddenly her feet left the floor as he picked her up and spun her around the room in a slow circle with his lips pressed to hers.
When he sat her down again, he grinned at her, looking a little drunk with joy. She felt exactly the same, unable to hold back the laughter in her throat. "We're going to have a baby!"
He picked her up for another spin, ending it with a breathless kiss. "I don't think I have ever been happier in my entire life." He whispered, full of adoration for her and everything she would do in the coming months to bring this life they had created into the world.
"Me neither." She laughed and felt that she meant it, every feeling of being overwhelmed not able to keep up with the joy. "But it's good that you woke me this early. I will need a little time before I can go to work."
Chuckling, he brushed her still-messy hair out of her face. "Oh yes, me too." Taking her hands into his, he added, "I'm way too excited to eat, but would you like breakfast? I'll have to take care that you eat enough for two in the next nine months."
The spark in his eyes and the meaning in his words made soft red rise up in her cheeks. It was actually real; it was happening. "I can try." She smiled back, knowing that she probably wouldn't bring down a bite, but she just couldn't bring herself to stop him in his excitement.
"Great." He grinned. "Now, you get ready, and I'll do my job."
"Does that mean I have a personal cook for the next nine months?" She chuckled, and he nodded without batting an eye.
"Cook, delivery guy, driver, massagist, whatever you can think of. Nothing I can do could ever be enough to make up for what you are doing." Once again, his hand came to her stomach, warmth tingling through her body from his touch.
"And this." He held up the test that still showed the wonderful word, "This will get a special place in the memory box this kid will get once it's old enough."
Shaking her head at him, she laughed. "Oh yeah, nothing better than to own a stick your mom peed on." She stumbled over her own words as her heart missed a beat. She noticed it on Castle's face, too.
Mom. She wasn't only going to have a baby. She was going to be a mom. Involuntarily, her thoughts wandered to her own mom. How much she had loved Kate and how much she missed her. A wave of sadness at everything her mother would miss threatened to wash over Kate, but Castle's voice drew her attention back to him.
"You'll be the most amazing mother in the world." He picked up her thoughts, his gaze so soft and a damp gleam in his eyes. Kate swallowed down the tightness in her throat that the thought that she would have to do this without her mother had caused her. She would allow herself to feel sad about it. But not now. Not when all she wanted to be was happy.
"Do you think so?" She asked, a little reluctant. She wasn't nearly as convinced as he seemed to be.
"I know." He nodded firmly. "This kid will grow up surrounded by love."
Slowly, she started to nod, too, taking in his words. Yes, this child would be loved endlessly, it already was.
"You're right." She whispered and found her abdomen with her hand. Yes, this baby was already surrounded by nothing but love.
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Well, who would have thought it would work so quickly? It's probably not a big surprise, but I've already warned you that the plot of this story won't be that suspenseful. So, I hope you enjoy the cheesiness!