19

The Emotion Behind Heartbreak Sometimes Heals

The guard took a step closer to the King so as to avoid catching the villagers' attention while he was still dressed as a local.

"What is it?" Gwanghae questioned him. "Has Yoon shown any signs of movement?"

"No, your highness. He's been as quiet as a mouse." The guard leaned in. "I looked up the family you asked me to check on with the name Yeon Soo."

"And?"

"It turns out he's the grandson of Yeon-Seok and was sick as a child. His family left for the mountainside when the child was ten and the rest of the members lost touch."

"I see," Gwanghae nodded, looking in the direction that Yeon Su had gone in. "A weak child trying to pass the Military Exam. This should be interesting."

x-X-x

The Nobleman's words played back in Nokdu's head later that day, powering him to get through his evening training in the space that Danho had provided for him. But when a sudden gust of cold wind blew through the bamboo forest, he was reminded of his father back at the Premier's quarters.

It was this time of year that his father's allergies acted up and Nokdu wondered if he was doing okay. He had asked Master Hwang to find the flowers to combat the allergy, something that was easily available on the island but hard to find here. He needed to go back to the Premier's place and make sure his father –

"Yah!" Danho's voice cut through Nokdu's thoughts as a clang of metal against metal rang in the night with Danho's sword cutting against Nokdu's. "Where did that steely concentration go? You can't afford to get distracted during the test!"

"I'm done for today," Nokdu said shortly, hoping Danho wouldn't read into him ending practice earlier usual. He needed to find a way to sneak out to meet his father and check on his health. Luckily for him, despite the strict demeanor when it came to training, Danho was being considerate in terms of not pushing Nokdu too much, owing to the fact that he was still technically in recovery. They walked back to the house and Nokdu found Master Hwang waiting for them.

"You go on ahead," Nokdu gestured to Danho towards the door. "I'll be right in." Danho looked between him and Hwang once before turning to walk in. Hwang then came up to Nokdu.

"I found the flowers," he said, handing Nokdu a bunch of them. "Aren't these the same ones on the island that your father would use when he got sick? Why do you need…"

"Thank you, Master," Nokdu said softly, not elaborating further.

Nokdu walked back into the house to see Danho had already settled into his bed. He was about to quietly change before he could go to the Premier's quarters when Danho suddenly spoke up.

"I sincerely hope you used the back door to come in," he muttered and Nokdu could instantly tell that not only was Danho awake, but he was mildly irritated. "Wouldn't want the neighbors to see you without your disguise."

"You mean you wouldn't want them to think you are living with a man?" Nokdu bit back, annoyed at Danho's accusation of recklessness.

"Why does it feel like I'm the one who's more worried about you concealing your identity?"

"And why are you always so paranoid about what people think of you and the people you spend time with?" Nokdu questioned. But when Danho didn't respond immediately, he realized he may have crossed a line.

"Danho, I…" Nokdu began, starting to feel bad about what he said. He watched as Danho slowly sat up on his bed and looked straight up at him.

"I have my reasons," he said, his eyes turning dark as he spoke.

"I'm sorry…"

"You know, I was like you once," Danho cut into Nokdu's apology. "But when your first love is mysteriously killed off for being associated with you, you start to think it's better to be safe than sorry."

Nokdu's lips parted but no words came out as he took the weight of what Danho had told him in.

First love?

Nokdu felt a tingle in his chest out of sadness for what his friend must have gone through in his past that led him here.

But the truth was, whether it was sadness or sympathy, he couldn't be sure.

Why did it feel like something else entirely…?

"You must miss your friend," was all Nokdu could think of saying. Danho sighed and turned away, tucking himself under the covers of his bed.

"Just go to sleep."

It was a while before Nokdu was confident enough to step out again without being caught. He grabbed the flowers that Master Hwang had brought him and cast a quick glance at the silhouette of Danho sleeping before heading out to visit his father.

x-X-x

"Park Danho!"

"Yes, Sir!" Danho stood at attention on his Master's command during his one-on-one training for his Military Exam. All these years of being by Prince Neungyang's side had paid off considering he was the one who had arranged for the setup. Danho only hoped to pass the exam and officially become the Prince's bodyguard.

"You will be here every morning for practice and we will work on your skills till the sun goes down, every single day without fail," his Master barked at him. "Don't fool yourself into believing that I will go easier on you because you are friends with the Prince."

"No, Sir."

"I'm well aware that you have talent beyond the usual fare of the idiots I have to train everyday but don't even think about using that as an excuse to slack off," the Master warned him.

"I will work hard, Sir," Danho said solemnly and bowed.

"Argh, let me go! I can walk on my own!"

Danho heard another voice from behind his Master and raised his eyes slightly to glimpse a Nobleman pulling another young man by the ear.

"Just pass the Military exam and make yourself useful for once," the man was saying and he let go of the younger one, who was now rubbing his ear. He watched as the latter approached his master.

"Thank you for agreeing to train me," he said with an exaggerated bow, almost as if he was being forced to say so.

"I'm only doing this as a favor to your father," his Master commented. "And because I know you have talent that you're just wasting away."

"If you say so, Sir."

Danho couldn't get a good look at the man's face yet but could see that he wasn't even in uniform for training. He was dressed in a purple and pink hanbok made of what appeared to him as high-quality fabric, the kind that was usually worn by those of an upper class. His hair wasn't even in place, it was barely tied behind with the rest of his long, smooth black hair falling down the sides of his wide shoulders –

"Nam Seon Ho, go and join Park Danho so we can get started."

On his Master's words, Danho straightened up and finally got a clear view of the man as he walked towards him. His lips parted in surprise..

The very smooth black hair he had been complaining about a moment ago was now framing the most handsome face he had seen. Beautiful eyes, sharp jaw and the thick lips that were now sporting a smug smirk towards his Master. And before Danho could brace himself, the face suddenly turned away from its original point of focus and locked eyes with him.

Danho couldn't tell how long that moment lasted even though he was convinced it couldn't have been longer than a split-second. Time had slowed as the man walked towards him, his smirk unaffected as Danho seemed to have become the new target.

Danho felt his throat go dry; the man continued to flash his mischievous smile as he walked past and Danho was suddenly very aware of the light touch when their shoulders brushed across each other. He saw his Master have a private conversation with the Nobleman when he felt a thrilling chill along the back of his neck; the man had come up behind him and talked straight into his ear.

"This should be fun."

Danho's eyes snapped open; he hadn't even realized he had managed to fall asleep. He let out a deep sigh.

Nam Seonho.

Clearly, his conversation with Nokdu before going to bed had set off a revival of memories in his head to a point that he wasn't sure where the reminiscing ended and the dreams began.

A not-so-unpleasant chill rippled through his body as the face of the handsome man from his dreams crossed his mind again. The twinkle in his eyes, the tiny beauty spot on his nose, that heartwarming eye-smile…

"Why are you following me?

Danho was sitting in a spot in the woods where he liked to go and think; what he liked most about it was that the lush greenery kept it hidden away from any passers-by and he could sit on the smooth rock with the sound of running water in the distance. It was a place where he got to enjoy the beauty of being alone.

Until now.

His fellow Military trainee, Nam Seonho had appeared out of nowhere and promptly seated himself next to Danho.

"We train together so I thought we should rest together too," Seonho said simply, making himself comfortable on the small rock that was only big enough for one person. Danho nearly jumped when one of Seonho's knees grazed his.

"On the contrary, after spending all that time together, a little space will do all parties involved some good," Danho responded.

"With a face like that, I wouldn't want to give you any space," Seonho said suddenly and Danho's head spun to look at his friend in surprise, not sure if he heard him right. That's when he realized that Seonho had somehow gotten even closer to him, if that were possible.

"W-What?" Danho fumbled with his words under Seonho's close-range stare, his sharp eyes twinkling as he flashed his now trademark smirk at him. "What do you mea–" Danho didn't get to finish his sentence as Seonho had leaned across and planted his lips on his.

The first thing that Danho acknowledged was how soft Seonho's lips felt; he was so caught up in the sensation he hadn't even realized his eyes had fluttered shut in response. It must have been a whole minute later that it actually struck him what was happening and his eyes popped open, widening as reality struck him. He promptly shoved Seonho away and got to his feet, shaking his head in horror.

"What are you doing?" Danho shouted at Seonho, who to his disbelief was looking back at him coolly, seeming smugger than ever. He sucked his teeth and tilted his head at Danho.

"You seem angry," Seonho said slowly without taking his eyes off him. "But the question is… are you angry because I kissed you… or that I did it without your permission?"

Danho rubbed his eyes and sat up on his bed. He refrained from lighting a candle, not wanting to wake Nokdu.

He sighed, wondering if his reminiscing was an unforeseen side-effect of him having being too harsh on Nokdu earlier when he felt prompted to reference his past.

He also wondered what Nokdu's meeting earlier that day with Master Hwang was about. He had a managed to catch a small glimpse of them conversing after he has stepped inside. He couldn't hear what they were saying but could tell there was something serious going on.

He did see Nokdu bring in a small bunch of mulberry flowers that he knew was used for medicinal purposes and couldn't help but worry if he was sick.

He turned to check on him but to his shock, noticed that his bed was empty.

Where on earth…

Danho didn't hesitate a moment before he decided to step out and look for him.

x-X-x

Nokdu was well aware of the guards surrounding the Premier's quarters where his father was being housed, having done a scan of the place atop the roof. His dark clothes and stealth had allowed him to come this far unseen but this was where it got tricky.

He had located the back door he had left through the last time where a single swordsman currently stood on guard. He wasn't completely sure what all the added security was about but he wondered if the Premier's involvement had something to do with it; it also meant he needed to figure out a way to get his Dad out soon.

Nokdu slid off the roof and landed with a soft thud right outside the back door; strangely the single guard was nowhere to be seen at the moment. He took a chance and began to approach the door when suddenly he heard the sounds of coughing. The door opened up and he saw his father walk out, trying to catch his breath.

"Abeoji!" He called out, his voice filled with concern for his father whose eyes widened in surprise.

"Nokduya!" He yelled and that is when Nokdu realized he was surrounded; the guard had returned… and brought others with him.

"I'll come back for you, Father," Nokdu whispered and ran, knowing that his father would be safer here than with him right now if he got caught. A sword came flying in his direction and he blocked it with his own weapon, just about managing to fight a few soldiers off before sprinting away as fast as he could. He climbed over the wall and raced into the empty streets but a quick glance backwards told him the guards were still on his tail. He continued on, hoping to lose them in the maze of the now empty market lanes.

x-X-x

As Dongju walked home after another day of trying to get a job at the palace, she couldn't get her mind off what happened earlier that day.

I could have sworn that man looked like Nokdu from the back. Why was I even looking out for him? No, why am I even thinking of him? I'm supposed to stay on track with my mission!

Dongju shook her head but found herself walking towards the swing on the tree. The good memories associated with that place always led her there whenever she needed clarity on things. The swing was just coming into view ahead of her when she noticed someone was already there. He was facing away from her but something about him was familiar to her.

She was just about to approach him when someone in a guard's uniform came running up to the man out of nowhere and on instinct she rushed to the nearest tree and concealed herself. She took a peek from behind the trunk and saw the man's face when he turned to address the uniformed man.

That's… that's the man who I had bumped into!

This was a strange coincidence; she wondered if she needed to worry. She tried to listen into the conversation but was too far away to make out more than a few scattered words here and there.

"A man" … "visit" … "Premier" … So far, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, except she could tell the guard looked worried about something and was reporting to the man who appeared to be his boss.

Am I being suspicious for no reason? Is this paranoia because –

… "Nokdu"…

She gasped, unsure if she had heard right. She looked out from behind the tree once more to see the two men rush off to go somewhere. She let out a deep frustrated breath.

She pondered over the possibility that Nokdu was in trouble and maybe she should warn him. She knew very well that he is skilled enough and that he can take care of himself.

But why am I worried for him?

She groaned and began to walk in the direction of the two men, hoping they would lead her to him in case he needed help.

x-X-x

Danho didn't know why he was running. It's not like there was any actual indication that Nokdu was in danger.

He had intended to go check at the swing first since he knew that's where Nokdu liked to spend time when he needed to think. But on the way he came across a commotion in the quiet lanes of the marketplace where he saw what appeared to be the Royal Guard and his soldiers.

"We need to find that man," he heard one of them say. "Split up so we can cover more ground before he gets away."

Nokdu… by any chance, are these men looking for you too?

He immediately moved out of their view and went in another direction to avoid having to deal with them. Apart from the sounds of the men searching in the distance, the market was eerily silent, having shut for the day a long while back. He was walking along a row of locked stores when he heard the sound of movement from behind one of the shop doors.

What was that…

One hand on his sword's handle, he slowly walked up to the door and put his ear against it. Before he could react, the shutter opened inwards and a hand pulled him in by his collar, closing the door behind him. He blinked once while his eyes adjusted to the darkness and he recognized the face of his captor who was now confined to the cramped space along with him.

"What are you doing here?" Nokdu hissed and Danho shook his head in disbelief.

"Shouldn't I be asking you this?"

"Yah…" Nokdu began, his voice controlled and firm, "I told you there's something I need to do." Danho noticed that he was wearing his black outfit and his hair was in a knot like he really meant business with whatever he planned to do.

He also noticed that Nokdu looked terribly exhausted.

"Why don't you just tell me what it is so I can help you?" he urged, feeling frustrated about the seemingly helpless position he was in.

"Because I don't want to lie to you!" Nokdu's eyes burned into his even in the darkness.

"Then don't." Danho's hand instinctively went to the sword on his side. "I'm going to step out and lead those men away –" he barely moved before Nokdu gripped his arm.

"No, that will look suspicious and put you in danger!"

"At least it will keep you safe!"

The two of them struggled in the limited space as one tried to leave and the other tried to stop him when their struggle ended up toppling an empty pot that had been placed on the storage shelf behind them.

CLANG!

The sound of the pot ringing in the silence of the night seemed to have served as a harsh reminder that there were people right outside still looking for Nokdu. Both of them froze mid-fight and Danho's eyes shifted to the light underneath the door. Everything was still for a moment before he finally saw… the movement of shadows outside.

We're trapped…

Both he and Nokdu were squeezing into the back but he knew that once the guards came in there was no way for them to escape without being seen. He heard someone conversing outside before he saw a guard push the door open and let someone in.

This was it; he needed to come up with a plausible explanation. Maybe he could pretend to have caught Nokdu then figure out a way to set him free…

"Danho." Nokdu whispered into his ear and Danho's eyes snapped to his, as if only then realizing they had both backed themselves into a corner between two shelves within the tiny storage area. He swallowed, now feeling very distracted by their physical contact despite the dire situation they were in.

"Wha-what?"

"I'm really sorry about this." To Danho's horror, Nokdu tugged him close and wrapped his arms around him.

Danho thought he would pass out.

The proximity to Nokdu that was already plenty intimate for him had suddenly intensified, making him hyper-aware of every little sensation he was experiencing, from his now racing heartbeat against Nokdu's chest to Nokdu's fingers interlocked on his lower back. Unsure what to do with his own hands, he pressed them flat against the wall; it was strange how Nokdu was the one who had pulled him in but at this moment he felt like he was the one keeping him caged.

The absurdity of the scenario was starting to make his head spin; his body froze as he felt Nokdu's chin rest on his neck but his eyes fell shut as he unwittingly gave in to his instinct and took the moment in.

His back was against the door but he heard the boot clinks of the person walking in and that's when the position he was in really hit him.

I can't be caught like this!

He began to wriggle out of Nokdu's hold but that only tightened his grip.

"Trust me," he whispered into his neck and it took everything in Danho not to gasp out loud. It was when another set of footsteps came in that he felt Nokdu let go slowly. It was probably a sign that he should step back but Danho couldn't bring himself to face whoever it was knowing they might identify him and get him in trouble for his… extracurricular activities; poor Nokdu would be in danger too. He saw him now giving an embarrassed smile to whoever it was and Danho knew he couldn't delay the inevitable any longer. He moved away from Nokdu – as much as the confined storage space allowed – and turned to see the person who had come for them. Almost immediately, he felt like a rock had just lodged itself in his throat as he recognized the Nobleman standing before them.

The King had just walked in on him and Nokdu in each other's arms.