Chapter 100: False God
'The Bible said the devil may come in many forms. Some time he may appear as a friend, celebrity or even a pretty girl or well built young man. A well paying job, easy money opportunity or simply a chance at something too good to be true. More the often it probably is.'
-George Wallace
Becca stood atop of the hill overlooking the horizon. The sun was just beginning to rise as she stood next to Luna. She did this sometimes on mornings she couldn't sleep. She would leave Maria's house in the early morning hours, either her thoughts or night terrors keeping her up. Today was the fear of the unknown.
She and Joel were meeting with Abby today. They didn't plan the meeting. They figured to catch her unaware before going to school. They knew Ellie's schedule enough to know they parted ways first thing in the morning, their classes being completely different.
She teetered back and forth with the morality of it all. Was it a smart thing to do? Should they be accosting Ellie's friend like this? They've discussed it at length and decided it was the best course of action.
Abby was an adult who could make her own decisions. She chose to be creepy and follow them. She was the one going behind their backs. It only fair they face her and ask her a few questions. There wasn't anything wrong with talking to someone.
She sat atop the hill as she watched the sun rise over the mountains. She could see their farm in the distance. Joel's expanded it so much over the years. It went from a modest farmhouse with a small stable and barn, but he utilized the acres. He expanded on the barn and stables. He made renovations to the farmhouse. He kept the charm, but made a few minor adjustments. He gave the structures fresh coats of paint, giving it a new breath of life.
She was so proud of him and everything he accomplished. They've talked it over with Tony and their individual therapists about sleeping together. They weren't surprised by Joel's reaction afterwards, but they wanted to understand the root of the problem. They were slowly but surely making progress.
It was plain and simple. She wanted to come home. She knew he wanted her home too, but there was obviously a reason why he felt guilty about sleeping together. He still couldn't get over his past. He needed to stop dwelling on the things he couldn't change.
She took a deep breath. She wanted to see him this morning. She needed the calm and reassurance only he could bring her at times. He would he up tending to the farm. He would appreciate the helping hand.
She mounded Luna and rode off to Joel's place. She was galloping down the path to the farm when she saw him. He was on his horse as he cut through the cattle, leading them out onto the pasture. He had a few guys in town helping him. He hired them as trade for meat and supplies, which they were all too happy to do to feed their families.
Joel didn't work them hard. He helped them in town as well. He helped rebuild a lot of their houses after the civil war. They looked after each other. It's what communities are all about.
She climbed off Luna and unsaddled her. She let her out with the other horses to run around and play, knowing she loved to socialize.
Joel squinted his eyes in the early morning sun. He lowered the brim of his cowboy hat and smirked to himself. He would know that distinct red hair anywhere. The long wild curls that fell from underneath her own cowboy hat. Just the slightest glimpse of her made his blood run hot. He thought about this woman all the time.
He wanted her back in their home. In his bed. Everywhere. He didn't understand why they were skirting around the issue. Scratch that. He was skirting around the issue.
He was going to ask her right stay after dinner tonight. Hopefully, she would never leave.
She waved at him and he waved in return. She respected his work ethic to leave him alone, letting him tend to his duties on the farm. She headed into the house to pour a cup of coffee before heading into the barn to milk the cows for him. Her mind was buzzing. She needed something to distract herself.
Joel finished off his task of corralling most of the cattle back into the pen. The key word being almost. Sometimes, he joked it would be much easier to move the farm to them.
He unmounted his horse and took off his hat, brushing the dust off it. He intended to see his lady. He let his horse roam with his friends while he walked into the barn.
He smiled to himself when he saw her milking the cows. She could cut her horse in the dirt like any other man out there, but she always enjoyed the much calmer and simpler tasks on the farm. She was up before him a lot of the time, getting a head start on the daily chores.
He loved that she accepted the farm as her own. It didn't hurt she grew up on a farm. While her family hired ranch hands, she still knew how to take care of horses and tend to a ranch. He didn't know the first thing about running a farm, but she guided him and he learned whatever he could.
Some of the ranchers in town helped him as well. Tommy had a hand in helping him build a homestead. It wasn't just a dream anymore.
He walked over to her and kissed the top of her head,'I didn't expect to see ya here so early. Not that I'm complainin.'
She looked up at him and smiled softly,'I was up early and went for a ride.' She shrugged,'I figured you could use the help.'
'I ain't gonna turn down free help.' He smirked as he sat on the stool next to him,'Though somethin tells me ya didn't just come here to milk Betsy.' He gently nudged her shoulder, whispering,'You nervous about today?'
She sighed and gave him a small smile. He knew her too well,'Not nervous…just curious and a little anxious. It could mean anything or nothing.'
He sighed and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close,'Whatever it is. We're gonna get through it together. I ain't trying to gang up on her. Just wanna know why she's following us around is all. It ain't normal.'
'No. It isn't.'
He ducked his head to look over her face,'Did ya eat anything yet?' He saw the guilty look on her face and frowned,'I have some oats and eggs in the house on the stove. Go eat. Kiddo's still asleep upstairs.'
She nodded and blinked her eyes slowly, feeling her stomach grumble,'I think I'm gonna do that. I am hungry.'
She got up from the stool as he followed suit. She wrapped her arms tightly around his midsection and rested her head on his chest,'Thank you. For everything. For still putting up with my shit.'
He snorted and rubbed her lower back,'I should be saying the same to you.'
He cradled her face in his hands and bent his head down. He surprised her by pressing his lips against hers, kissing her deeply. Her eyes widened slightly before she quickly recovered from the shock.
She didn't waste any time in reciprocating the kiss. She cupped the back of his neck and tangled her fingers in his long curls at the nape of his neck. He nipped at her lips and she playfully sucked on his tongue. He tightened his hold on her face as his tongue slowly tangled with hers.
They moaned in each other's mouths as the kiss deepened. She was surprised by the intensity of the kiss. It was so early in the morning, but he seemed more awake than ever. She felt her blood coursing hot through her veins as every single nerve in her body became heightened.
She felt that static electricity that cackled between them in the stables when he took her roughly but passionately. She didn't want him to feel ashamed for anything they did. Nothing they ever did could feel wrong. He was the first man who didn't make her feel ashamed of being a woman with desires.
His thumbs stroked her cheekbones as he slowly pulled away from the kiss. He pressed his forehead against hers as he breathed raggedly against her lips. His eyes fluttered closed as he struggled to regain his breath.
He opened his eyes and saw her flushed cheeks. Her eyes half lidded and her lips red and swollen from his kisses. God, he was so in love with her. She was truly the first woman he's ever loved. He knew that without a doubt. He thought he loved Esther. He convinced himself he loved Tess.
Rebecca wasn't anything he's ever experienced before. She made him want to fight for them, rather than just lay down and give up. He never wanted to wave the white flag. He wanted to keep her in his life as long as possible. He could be alone, but he didn't want to be. Not when he could spend the rest of his life with her.
She looked over his face and smiled fondly as he ran her hand down his scruffy cheek,'What ya thinking about, sweetheart?'
He pressed his hand against her lower back and pulled her close to him,'How I'm one of the lucky ones. Just took me some time to catch up.'
She cocked her head to the side, giving him one of her lopsided grins he loved so much,'You always known it. You just never let yourself believe it.'
He sighed as he leaned down and kissed her lips again. She realized with them, they didn't always have to say the words,'I love you.' They've come to realize actions speak louder than words. They've proven how much they love each other many times throughout the years.
He hummed softly as he nuzzled his forehead against hers, whispering,'You go on and eat. I'll get things settled round here. Then we'll go and catch up with little Abigail. After all the fuckin craziness…' He rested his hands on her waist and slid them up her sides slowly to rest on her shoulders,'We're coming back here. Gonna have a nice dinner. Go on up to our bed and forget about all this shit for a while.'
A lot of what he said had her heart racing. Mostly the words, our bed. Maybe he didn't realize the connotations. Maybe it's exactly what he intended. She would let him have it either way.
She toyed with the buttons on his denim shirt and played with the ends of her hair,'I'll bring something dessert.'
His mouth formed into a slow grin as he chuckled softly, whispering darkly,'You'll do just fine.' His eyes caught hers and she gasped slightly at his pupils blown black,'I didn't like the way I disrespected ya a few nights ago. I don't mean what we did. Cause ain't a damned thing wrong with what we did.' He took a deep breath,'Next time, I don't care if I bend ya over the table or the kitchen sink. We're gonna end the night in our bed.'
Her eyes lit up at that and she bit back a smirk,'I'll pack a bag.'
He nodded slowly and cleared his throat,'Do ya wanna pack a bag for a couple nights?'
Her eyes widened and she took a deep breath,'Are you thinking about what Tony suggested?'
'Yeah.' He lightly ran his hands up her neck to cup her jaw,'I think it'll be good for us to spend a couple nights together at home. A…dry run. If things go South, you always have Maria's home to go to.'
She nodded as she looked over his face,'Do ya think it will? Go south?'
'Only time will tell.' He shrugged,'I'm not going anywhere though. And neither are you. We've spent time alone holed up in a cabin. I think we'll be alright.'
She nodded and smiled softly,'Me too.'
He sighed as he stepped back from her,'I gotta get back to work. Kiddo should be up pretty soon. I should be done in an hour.'
'Okay.' She felt the knots in her stomach and leaned up to kiss his cheek,'Thank you for being there for me.'
'It's what hus…'He coughed slightly and quickly corrected himself, but she kissed him and shushed him, whispering,'You are my husband. In every sense of the word.'
He felt tears instantly fill his eyes at her words and shook his head, whispering fiercely,'You make things too easy on me. You forgive me too easily.'
His words came out harsher than intended, but she didn't seem to notice. She pursed her lips as she shook her head sadly,'You don't forgive yourself enough. We've both beaten each other up over the years. We both have our issues. It's why we're both in therapy. We're both too old to keep blaming each other for the things we can't change. I don't want to spend the rest of what I have left in this world being angry at you for something that's done is done.'
He took a deep breath as he looked over her face, shaking his head in disbelief. She's done a lot of bad things, but she was inherently good. He's learned that about himself too. He's done a lot of things he isn't proud of, but he has really good people who loved, trust and respect him. Matty loves and adores him. That has to count for something.
He followed her out of the barn and playfully smacked her ass. She turned around and gently smacked his hand and slyly pushed him away before anyone could see. He laughed to himself as they parted ways, he over to the cattle pen and her over to the house.
She looked back at him and smiled softly. He walked into the cattle pen as he convened with the other ranchers. She always thought she'd marry some rich rancher. She ended up doing just that. She never found her cowboy in Ben. What she found was a snooty rich son of a wealthy landowner. He didn't care about the land or the animals. He saw everything as a commodity. Even people.
She should've know when she married Ben.
Becca smiled fondly as she walked up to the house. She finally got her cowboy. He's gotten gentler in as he became older. His anger wasn't looking down the barrel of a gun any longer.
He talked things out rather than throwing fists and things around. They've both grown in a lot of ways. She was finally beginning to understand him.
She managed to eat and have a couple cups of coffee before Matty woke up. She bathed and dressed him for the day before letting him have some tummy time on the living room floor.
She was on the floor with him when Joel walked into the house. She heard the distinct sounds of his heavy boots walking down the corridor. He walked into the living room and stood in the doorway.
Matty looked up at him and squealed. He held his arms out and sat himself up to crawl over to him. Becca smiled softly as she watched Joel bend down to pick him up. He really loved his papa. She was glad they could have that relationship. They were so close.
He looked over at her and grinned, noticed she showered and changed,'Hey there, pretty girl.' He kissed the top of Matty's head as he walked over her and sat down on the couch behind her,'A guy could get used to coming home to this.'
The only thing that's missing is Ellie, but that's a chapter for another day. It's a whole other can of worms they didn't have the energy to get into. One issue at a time. Abby was the catalyst for everything going to shit anyway.
She smiled softly and rested her head against his leg,'I asked Betsy to have Abby meet me here to watch Matty. El's already at school. She'll be here in forty five minutes.'
His eyes widened as he looked down at her, licking his lips quickly,'Look at ya, being all devious and conniving. It gets me hot.'
Her eyes widened slightly as she nodded towards Matty,'The baby.'
He rolled his eyes and sighed, bending down to capture her lips in a deep kiss. His strong jaw pried her lips opened as he sucked her tongue into his mouth. He wanted to make no mistake in his intentions towards her. He wanted her tonight. In every way he could have her.
He slowly pulled his lips away from hers, whispering, his voice rough with desire,'Me wanting ya is the reason why he's even here. I ain't doing nothing but kissin ya.' He licked the taste of her off his lips, ,'The fun comes when he's asleep.'
He chuckled at the bewildered look on her face. He carefully set Matty back down on the floor and kissed her on top of her head,'I'm gonna get a quick shower and change.'
She nodded as she ran her hand through Matty's dark curls,'Sounds good.'
She wondered if he was nervous about talking to Abby. If he is, he wasn't showing it. He was good at not showing his cards sometimes. He didn't see a reason to be afraid until given a reason. She wished she could do the same.
It rattled him though. Enough to talk about it, which didn't sit right with her. They were going to get to the bottom of Abby's schemes.
Come hell or high water.
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After Joel showered and change, they waited for Abby's arrival. The house was quiet as they sat on the couch in nervous trepidation. The tick tick of the clock reverberated soundly throughout the otherwise quiet house. This meeting could be everything and nothing all at once. It's what they were afraid of.
There was a knock on the door, making them both spring up from the couch.
Joel walked over to the door to answer open it, with Becca standing in the living room with Matty. She took a few deep breaths to gather and steady her nerves. She couldn't remember the last time she was nervous like this.
He walked into the living room with Abby following close behind him. She had an unreadable look upon her face. Her eyes were steady as she looked up at the older woman, giving her a small smile.
Abby averted her eyes between them and frowned,'What's going on? What's this all about?'
Joel and Becca exchanged a look between them. They talked about this at length. Abby may go on the defensive, which is understandable, but she couldn't go around thinking following people and encroaching on people's privacy. She needed to know it wasn't acceptable, but they couldn't show all their cards either.
Becca nodded towards the couch and sighed softly,'Why don't you take a seat? We just want to talk.'
Abby nodded slowly as she looked at them warily. She walked over to the couch and sat down, taking a deep breath. She was going back and forth between emotions. They were written as clear as day on her face. She seemed confused, scared and a little curious. Good. They were all of these things as well.
'What's going on?' Abby shook her head and sighed,'Why isn't El here too?'
Joel and Becca sat down across from her with Matty on her lap.
He leaned forward as he rested his hands on his knees,'Why did ya follow us at the cabin?'
'I don't know what you're talking about.' She raised her chin indignantly,'I was just going for a ride. I didn't know where you were.'
Becca had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. It was such bullshit. She's come to learn in Jackson, that nothing is by happenstance. Everything is meticulously thought out. Especially by those who seek to do them harm.
Joel took a deep breath to calm himself. Breathe in. Breathe out. Just like his therapist taught him. Some days were easier than others to manage his anger. He was finding it difficult to stay calm today.
He knew the little snot was up to something. There wasn't any fear reflected in her eyes. She had a small smile on her face, like she was trying to play innocent, but was anything but. She seemed to be enjoying it.
Becca placed her hand on Joel's leg, silently reminding him to keep it cool,'Abby, we're not trying to gang up on you. It's not our intention.' She took a beat to gather her thoughts and sighed softly,'I just don't understand why you were sneaking in our room. Why you've been following us.' She kept her voice gentle and reassuring, like a mother would,'We know that your father was one of the scientists at St. Mary's.'
Abby's eyes widened at that and she shook her head confusingly,'That doesn't mean anything. I can't help that my father was a Firefly. Just like you can't help the things that happened to you. I didn't ask to be born to him.' She took a deep breath,'It's not fair that you're punishing me because of my family. El knows everything and she doesn't care.'
Joel met Becca's eyes. She was good. She seemed so earnest. She almost had them believing it. Almost. They knew better though. They wouldn't force her to tell them anything. She wouldn't talk anyway.
'No one's trying to break you and El up.' He frowned,'We just don't like you sorting through our shit and following us around.'
Abby shook her head, saying in an eerily calm tone,'I don't know what you're talking about.' She looked up at the clock on the wall and sighed,'I need to go or I'm gonna be late for class. Honestly though, in all due respect, you're seeing things that aren't there. I know you're protective of Ellie, but you need to realize she's almost twenty one years old. She can't do and see whomever she wants.'
Abby got up from the couch and picked up her book bag, hoisting it over her shoulder,'I won't tell El anything we talked about here. You have my word.'
Joel narrowed his eyes and snorted,'Thanks. We appreciate that.'
His voice was dripping in sarcasm as he walked her out. Becca heard the door slam closed behind him. He didn't come back into the living room for a few minutes, probably to calm himself down. She knew he was angry and had every right to be. She was angry too.
He rested his head on the door and closed his eyes, taking a few deep steadying breaths. It took all of the insurmountable strength within him not to fucking kill her. He wanted to smack the living daylights out of her.
He couldn't do that thought. Not today anyway. Sometimes, the best course of action is to be patient. Not everything needs to be resolved in a day.
He walked back into the living room, seeing the nervousness on her face. He walked over to her and hugged her tightly, making sure not to crush Matty.
He kissed the top of their heads, whispering,'It's gonna be okay.'
She looked up at him and frowned,'She's a snot nosed little bitch, Joel. She knows exactly what she's doing.'
'I agree.' He sighed,'But for now, we gotta play it cool. I want to punch her lights out, but that's just gonna push El even farther away from us.'
'She's taking her away from us.' She blinked away tears,'She's alienating her away from all the people that love and care about her. We might lose her forever.'
He closed his eyes as he rested his chin on top of her head. He didn't know what to say. Maybe because he knew she was right. If they confronted her with everything they knew, it would make things worse for them.
They were confident she wouldn't tell Ellie about their talk. Not that there was much of one anyway. Abby wouldn't want to lose her either. Not when she's put all this effort into getting close to her.
The Fireflies were never going to stop until they achieved their end goal. They've destroyed them once, they'll do it again.
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Later on that evening, after the chaos ceased and everything was quiet, they could finally enjoy some alone time together.
She let herself in as she carried her apple pie she made. It was one of his favorites. Maybe they could actually relax. It's been a taxing day.
She smiled when she found him in the kitchen by the stove. She grinned and snuck up behind him to wrap her arms around his waist.
She leaned up and whispered in his ear,'Boo.'
He smirked and kept his back facing her,'I saw ya come in through the reflection of the glass.'
She rolled her eyes and laughed,'Of course you did.'
She leaned over him and set the pie on the counter,'This needs to cool for a little bit. It should be good to go after dinner.'
He looked down at the pie and grinned,'It smells good. It looks even better. Like you.'
He turned around and leaned back against the counter to take a look at her. The spaghetti strapped yellow dress she wore went down to her mid thigh. It buttoned all the way up in the front. He wanted to unbutton every single one with his teeth. He planned to do that later.
He took her hand and lifted her up arm to twirl her around,'Let me take a look at ya.'
His eyes roved all over her body, taking every inch of her in. The curves of her body in the dress and her long legs peaking out from underneath it. He wanted to reacquaint himself with the map of her body.
He regretted taking her so hard and fast in the stables. He wanted to take his time with her and fully experience her. They deserved that. It took them so long to get to this point…again.
He licked his lips and shook his head in disbelief,'The prettiest fuckin woman I've ever seen.'
She smiled softly. She knew he wasn't just talking about her looks. He told her she shined. She never believed it until she took the time to see it for herself. She did shine. She just never allowed herself to until now.
Every other man who's come into her life tried to silence and dull that shine. They broke down her spirit and made her feel ashamed for being a woman. Joel gave her the freedom to be whomever she wanted. Even if it wasn't with him.
She smoothed out the wrinkles in his t shirt and clicked her tongue softly,'You're really handsome too. I've always told you that though. Even when you didn't believe it.'
'Still don't.' He snorted as he looked over her face,'You make me believe it. You make me believe in a lot of things.'
She smiled softly as she leaned up and pressed her lips against his, whispering,'Like what?'
His mouth moved against hers as they breathed each other in,'A lotta things. Mostly in myself.'
He couldn't have said anything else to make her love him more. The more she's gotten to know him, she's realized he was insecure as everyone else. He had a better way of hiding it than most people. He felt just like everyone else and needed validation as much as the next person.
She sighed softly as he wrapped his arms around her tightly,'You should always believe in yourself. Who you are is pretty fuckin great.'
He grinned as he fully kissed her lips. She kissed him back, giving as much love into it as she could. He moaned softly into her mouth as her hands tangled in his hair. He turned them around and pressed her back against the counter.
Her heart pounded in exhilaration and excitement. She loved how he was enticing her. He was being sexy, teasing and playful with her. He was a shameless flirt. He was probably charming the pants off women back in his heyday.
He reluctantly pulled away from her and licked his lips, shaking his head,'I was almost about to fuck ya against the counter. Ya get me hot, darlin.'
She bit her bottom lip to suppress her giddy smirk as she held his gaze,'Later.'
His eyes widened at her promising tone. He groaned in frustration and buried his face in her neck, breathing her in,'You're so sexy.' He pressed kisses against her skin, whispering,'I ain't ever wanted anyone this bad before.'
She closed her eyes and reveled in his words, nuzzling her forehead against his,'Me neither. It's because we love each other so much. We're meant to be and be together like this. That's why it feels like this when we're together, like we want to be consumed by each other. No one else but each other will do.'
'No one else.' He affirmed as his tongue flicked out to taste her skin, moaning softly,'I don't want anyone else again.'
'Me neither.' She gently scratched at his scalp,'You're stuck with me.'
He snorted at that and stepped back from her to start stirring the pot again,'The chore. The hassle.'
She laughed as she leaned up and rested her chin on his shoulder to look down into the pot,'What are ya making?'
'Chicken and rice.' He shrugged,'I figured something simple. There's some wine if ya want it.' He cleared his throat,'Matty is down for the night. So…we can spend some time together.'
She smiled and nodded towards her bag in the doorway,'I brought enough clothes to last for a couple days.'
She actually brought almost a week's worth of clothes if she were being honest. When she told Maria about staying over for a couple days, she had been over the moon. As much as she loved having her there, she was rooting for them to get back together. She joked at least one Miller relationship would stand the test of time.
Maria was adamant on her packing clothes for a week. Just in case he changed his mind. She had an inkling he would. Maria seemed to know her husband better than she did. Then again, she was married to his brother for years. The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.
His eyes widened almost as if in surprise when he saw her bag,'You're actually staying?'
'Yeah.' She nodded and laughed,'Did ya not mean it and I called your bluff or something?'
He rolled his eyes and kissed her lips,'No way. I meant what I said.' He shrugged,'I thought maybe you would change your mind.'
'I didn't.' She cupped his cheek and slowly turned his head to face her,'I didn't because I'm right where I want to be.'
He nodded and swallowed the lump in his throat,'Dinner should be ready soon.'
'Okay.' She nodded,'I'm gonna bring my bag up to our room and say goodnight to Matty.'
He nodded silently as he watched her walk out of the kitchen. He turned around to finish cooking and quickly wiped the tears from his eyes. She'll never know how much her words touched him.
For a long time, he spent his life alone. Even when he was surrounded by so called friends and colleagues, he went home and ate alone. He used to think it was a fitting fate for a man like him. It was only until he got older, did he realize that a life spent alone without memories isn't a life worth living. It was simply existing. He mine as well have been dead.
He didn't want a life like that anymore. He wanted a fulfilling life spent surrounded with the people he loved. He didn't want to have dinner and sleep alone anymore. He wanted the love of his life with him at all times. He wanted his family back.
He intended to get it back. Starting tonight. He wasn't going to run away from her anymore. Not from this. His fear is what almost ruined them in the first place.
She brought her bag up to their room and went into Matty's room to give him a kiss. She gingerly tiptoed in his room not to wake him up. She walked over to his crib and looked down at him.
She gently ran her hand through his hair and smiled softly. He looked just like Joel. He favored his dark features and had his temperament too. She never regretted having a child with him. Not once. Even in the beginning when everything was chaotic and their lives were undetermined. She always knew she wanted a child with him. She didn't just want anyone's kid. She wanted Joel's. It was very specific to him.
Many wouldn't believe her, but he was an incredible father. He took his role seriously. He loved deeply and was very attentive. She knew it killed him not talking to Ellie. It killed her too, but she was certain it would work itself out. They didn't lose Ellie forever. She needed some time and space to figure herself out as a woman. She needed to find her own place in this world. She would come to them when she's ready.
She leaned down in his crib and kissed his chubby cheek, whispering how much she loved him.
She walked out of his room and kept the door slightly ajar in case he needed them. They've finally got him down to a schedule and he was sleeping a full eight to nine hours. He was a good boy. She couldn't ask for a better baby.
When she walked back into the kitchen, the table was already set. She smiled when she saw the two candles lit in the middle of the table. A serving dish with chicken, green peppers and melted cheese simmered in the dish on the table, making her stomach grumble in response. Betsy kept her busy at the shop, which didn't give her much time to eat, but she loved being there and learning. Betsy said she was a natural and would give her the store when she retired.
She wasn't interested in having a store though. She didn't want the hassle. She joked about just keeping the clothes when she closed. Betsy swore to her anything she wanted was hers. She loved that woman. She always thought Sharon was her confidante, but after her demise and betrayal, she's come to realize it's always been Betsy. She was the mother she always wanted, but never had.
He smiled sheepishly as he pulled out her chair,'Dinner's served.'
She walked over to the table and took his hand. He led her to sit down and pulled her chair in before sitting down next to her. She looked up at him and smiled. He was so romantic. She's discovered during their dates that he was very sensitive when he trusted the person he was with. He wasn't afraid to talk about his feelings or the things that kept him up at night.
Of course, he wasn't always like that. It took a lot of time to build trust and intimacy between them, but they were finally at a point in their relationship where they could talk about anything. He wasn't afraid to talk to her anymore. She wasn't afraid to talk to him either.
She started putting food on her plate and shook her head,'Everything looks and smells so good.'
He grinned as he poured her a glass of red wine,'Just like you.' He shrugged,'It's something my Ma would make a lot. We didn't have a lotta money growing up, but this was always a hit. Simple, but good and filling. Sometimes, I make this to remind me of her.'
Her eyes searched his face. He had a solemn look on his features. She leaned over the table and took his hand, squeezing it gently,'It's okay to miss her. I wish I could've met her.'
'She would've teased ya for upbringing but would've been the first one to have ya in the kitchen to help her cook.' He shook his head sadly,'She woulda loved ya and made me swore I was gonna marry ya. When I first met ya, I made that promise to her anyway. Cause I knew she woulda been rolling over in her grave if I didn't.'
She brought their tangled hands up to her lips and kissed his knuckles,'I think you made good on your promise. Don't you?'
'Partly.' He held her gaze, whispering,'I ain't doing a good job of keeping ya.'
She took a sip of her wine and laughed softly,'I don't need to be kept, Joel.'
He nodded and snorted,'Don't I know it.' He sighed and shook his head,'Let's eat before it gets cold. Cause I want some of that pie. I almost ate some while I was cooking.' He smiled sheepishly,'I can't help it when it comes to your pie.'
She felt the heat rising to her cheeks as she started digging into her food. Her eyes widened and she moaned softly as she took the first bite,'This is amazing. You have to teach me how to cook this.'
He looked up at her from his lashes and gave her a shy smile,'I can do that. It's not that hard to make.'
She took another sip of her wine as she looked out the window behind his head,'I love how ya moved the table by the window. It's nice in the morning.'
He washed his food down with some water and shrugged,'When I was living alone. I would eat by myself most times. Looking out the window gave me some company.'
He wouldn't tell her the other reason why he did it. He wanted to see if Becca or Ellie were coming home, coming back to him. Every single time he would sit down to eat, he would stare out the window, hoping and praying they decided to come back home. Even if it was only to share a meal with him.
He used to think these feelings were pathetic. It was only until he realized he wasn't alone with his intrusive thoughts. It was normal to have fears at his age. The fear of dying alone and wondering if your entire life meant nothing. He was sick of feeling like that anymore.
Dinner was enjoyable and fun. They kept their conversation light, not wanting to discuss anything heavy at the time being.
Thankfully, Abby didn't go back to Ellie and let her know what they discussed. If Abby told her, they would know about it. She would've hightailed it here with fire and brimstone by now. Abby's silence was questionable. Maybe she was protecting Ellie, but something told her she only cared about herself.
Becca did the dishes and Joel dried them. She cut them a couple slices of cake and poured them some coffee. She sat down next to him at the table, laughing softly when he slid her chair closer to his.
He turned his chair to face hers and spread his legs out, letting her legs rest in between his. He staged his fork into the slice of cake and slid it between his lips.
His eyes rolled in pleasure as he swallowed it down,'Fuckin unbelievable. Your pie always is though.'
She saw the smirk on his face and knew he wasn't just talking about the pie. His flirting was exhilarating.
She took a bite of her pie and glanced up at him shyly,'Ya know I'm forty years old and have never done this with a man before.'
'What?'
'This.' She motioned between them,'I've never really dated and…flirted or had this much fun with a man before. With Ben, we were so young and everything was so…awkward. We were always fumbling over each other. After the outbreak, we grew up and I realized I never shoulda married him in the first place. By then, it was too late. We knew we couldn't do it alone.'
He didn't make any attempts to lean over and touch her. He just sat close to her and listened, knowing it's what she needed.
'Did ya love him?'
He couldn't help but ask that question. Maybe it was a sick curiosity that needed to be satiated. He always was a glutton for punishment.
She pursed her lips thoughtfully and nodded,'I guess I did. As much as a nineteen year old girl could love someone.' She shook her head,'After the outbreak, I saw a side of him I didn't know existed. I thought it was because we needed to survive, but I think deep down, I've always known. I mean, he cheated on me before and would…yell at me, but I could always overlook it because it's what I needed to do for my family. Once they were gone, I didn't see a reason to be…dutiful to someone like that. What kind of man passes around his wife in exchange for food? What kind of man gives his wife to a so called prophet?'
He closed his eyes and sighed softly, knowing she was referring to David. She's given him hints over the years Ben would give her to David to…please. He hated both of those men with such a passion he wanted to find a way to bring them back from the dead, just to kill them all over again.
He slid his chair closer to her and finally wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly,'They didn't deserve ya. Not a damn fuckin one of them. I sometimes wonder if I do.'
The stern look she gave him made no room for argument. She wouldn't be here right now if she didn't want to be with him. After so many years of people taking her freedom and will to choose away from her, the life she chose with Joel is one she made for herself. He would be damned if he took that away from her.
She ignored his words and sighed softly,'I've been thinking about what you and my therapist said.' She took a deep breath,'I think it'll be good for me to go back to…Silver Lake. I think I need that closure.'
His eyes widened as he looked over her face,'What changed your mind?'
'I've been getting night terrors lately. Ever since Abby started sniffing around. I don't get them all the time, but I get them enough to where I think it'll only stop if I go back. I want to burn that fucking church down. It's the only way I can move on.'
He nodded as he kissed the top of her head,'What if some of them are still there?'
'Then they're still there.' She shrugged,'His followers are cannibals, but I think they were relieved to get rid of David too. He controlled people. A lot of them were good people. They would've have done a lot of the things they did if it wasn't for his control over them. I need to do this.'
'Then I'm coming with you.' He had a determined look in his eyes, giving no room for argument,'We're in this together. You ain't going without me. The road there ain't too dangerous. Nothing we can't handle anyway. It'll take us two days. Tops.'
She nodded and swallowed harshly,'I wanna go in a month or so. When it's warmer. I'm not going back to Silver Lake in the fucking snow and I'm damned sure not traveling in it.'
He smiled softly as he cupped her jaw,'I'm proud of ya. I think it'll be good for you.'
She held his face in her hands and stroked his cheeks,'Thank you for going with me. I'm not talking to you out of it. I'm kinda relieved you'll be there. Honestly.'
'We're a team. I ain't letting ya leave Jackson without me. I made that promise a long time ago and I intend to stick to it.'
She grinned as she stood up from the chair and grabbed his hand, gently tugging on it,'Come sit outside with me.'
He stood up from the chair and hastily finished his pie before downing the rest of his coffee. He was eager to spend time with her. She was right. She didn't belong to him, but she chose to be with him. He didn't have to be alone anymore. He had the woman he loved with him. The sudden realization made him feel invincible. As long as she was with him, he could do anything.
She held tightly on his hand as they walked out onto the porch. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her bare shoulder. He trailed kisses up her neck and kissed behind her ear, making her tremble and shiver slightly.
She closed her eyes and sighed softly, relishing in the feeling of his rough beard rubbing against her skin. She placed her hands over his arms that were wrapped around her midsection. They should feel like this all the time. In love. So in love. Not caught up in all the bullshit. This is what they were meant for.
He hummed softly as he breathed into her neck, whispering,'You smell so good.' He pressed the front of his body along the curves of her back,'Am I coming on too strong?'
She leaned her head back against his shoulder and laughed softly, the lilting sound echoing out into the night,'I'd say you're not coming on enough.'
He playfully narrowed his eyes down at her and snorted,'I've been holding back. Ya shoulda seen me back in the day.'
'I believe it.' She smirked as she felt his hands on her waist,'Will you play for me?'
He laughed softly as he pressed open mouthed kisses to her neck,'Any requests?'
She cocked her head to the side to give him better access to her neck,'Something beautiful and sexy. Like you.'
He untangled his arms from her and bent down to pick up his guitar,'I don't know if I know a song that'll do me justice.'
She laughed as she watched him take a seat and perch the guitar on his lap. She always got excited whenever he played. She remembered all the times he would play for her, when they were just friends, when she was pregnant or whenever she was upset. He knew her better than anyone. It was about time they stopped running away from something that made them feel so good.
She sat on the top step and rested her head back against the banister. She closed her eyes as he started strumming the guitar. The soft chords blanketed the chirping off the birds and crickets, almost as if he were playing in tune with them. He added to the beauty of the earth and the music it made. Their union as real, raw and fresh as the dirt they stood on.
As the song started progressing, she began to recognize it. She smiled sadly as she hummed softly to herself, swaying back and forth to the music.
She didn't sing the song, but the lyrics resonated loudly in her mind.
It's been so lonely without you here
Like a bird without a song…Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling…Tell me baby where did I go wrong…I could put my arms around every boy I see…But they'd only remind me of you
I went to the doctor and guess what he told me
Guess what he told me…He said girl you better have fun…No matter what you do
But he's a fool…Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you…All the flowers that you planted, mama…In the back yard
All died when you went away…I know that living with you baby was sometimes hard…But I'm willing to give it another try
She understood the significance of the song, the lyrics and what he was trying to convey to her. The song resonated heavily with her as well. No matter if they separated and tried to move on with other people, it wouldn't be the same. No one else would compare to each other.
They were end game. She knew that without a doubt.
He finished the song and gently tapped his guitar,'Was that sexy and beautiful enough for ya?'
'Yeah.' She nodded,'That's always been a favorite song of mine.' She smirked,'Prince wrote that, ya know.'
His eyes widened and he nodded,'I did know that. I'm impressed you know that too.'
'I bet you know how to play the entire Purple Rain album and practiced it in guitar everyday in your room after school.'
'Guilty.' He grinned,'I bought cassette as soon as it came out and started playing along. I was shit at it, but I kept ya it.'
She nodded and smiled softly,'Now look at you.'
She got up from the step and walked over to sit, taking a seat on his leg,'Annette is getting married next weekend.' She wrapped her arm around his shoulders,'I would love it if you came with me.'
He set his guitar down next to him and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her fully into his lap,'We gonna make our public debut, Miss Debutante.'
She rolled her eyes and gently poked his ribs, making him laugh. She used to resent his teasing. She would get defensive, thinking they were backhanded jokes at her expense and he was mocking her. She's come to realize it isn't the case. Just because they grew up differently, didn't mean he resented her for it.
He seemed to look back on his childhood fondly. Just because he didn't have much growing up, he still had a loving and fulfilling childhood. Whenever he spoke of his childhood, it was nothing but good memories. Money doesn't buy happiness.
Her family upbringing had been cold and distant. Affection was frowned behind and her parents ruled with an iron fist. They always expected the best out and never accepted anything less. She would be grounded the entire summer if she even made second while in the shower jumping circuit.
She ran her hands through his hair and nodded,'We sure fucking are. Everyone knows we're bask together anyway. Not that it was their business in the first place.'
'Damned right.' He bit his bottom lip as he looked over her face,'I like it when you're feisty.'
'I just don't feel the need to explain our situation to anyone.' She shook her head,'It isn't anyone's business but our own.' She took a deep breath, searching his face,'So you'll go with me?'
He laughed and nodded,'Course I am. It wasn't even a question. I ain't about to have some pansy assed stealing all my dances.'
She smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck,'We can't have that now. Can we? All my dances are saved for you anyway.'
He laughed softly as he watched her climb off his lap. She took his hand in hers and looked down at him, giving him a sultry smile,'Let's go to bed, Joel.'
His eyes widened. He didn't need to be told twice. He got up from the bench and kept his hand tangled in hers. She led him into the house and he made sure to lock the door behind them. He knew they wouldn't be leaving the house anytime soon. He planned to have her in their bed for the rest of the evening.
They tiptoed up the stairs, being careful not to wake up Matty. He was heavy sleeper, but they didn't want to be too careful. They wanted to prolong this evening for as long as they could. Nothing or no one was going to stop them.
They walked into the bedroom and he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. He kissed behind her ear, making her giggle softly as he gently kicked the door closed behind them.
She leaned up on her tiptoes to press her lips against his, kissing him hungrily. She held his face in her hands, her fingers splayed out against his cheeks as he sucked on her tongue. Their tongues tangled together feverishly. She pulled back from him and began pulling his t shirt over his head. He lifted his arms up, letting her pull the garment up over his head as he discarded it onto the floor.
His eyes widened as he looked down at her hands unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans. He was excited by forward she was being. The excitement clearly evident in his jeans. He didn't care if she saw it. He wanted her to see how much she turned him on.
He loved how forthcoming she was being in what she wanted. She wasn't afraid to take the lead anymore. A delicious chill ran through him as he thought about all the things they could do together. If she was game, he wanted to christen every single room in this house. Just like they should've all along. They've spent too much time being mad at each other.
She hooked her fingers into the waistband of his jeans and tugged them down his long legs. He stepped out of them and kicked them off with his shirt on the floor.
She took a moment to appreciate his body. Her eyes roved over him as she bit her bottom lip. He was standing there in dark green boxers briefs. His curls were wild from her hands running through it and his cheeks were flushed from her kisses.
He was in magnificent shape. The years spent on the farm and building houses made his busy lean and strong. His stomach was flat and there were abdominal muscles there that weren't before.
She ran her hands over his broad shoulders as he ran the back of his hands over her bare shoulders. She shook her head in disbelief as she looked up at him,'You're so handsome. You shine too, ya know? When you walk in a room, people take notice.'
'Maybe not for the reasons ya think.' He smirked,'I tend to attract negative attention.'
She frowned as she gently pushed him back to sit on the edge of the bed,'Not in my eyes. You light up any room I'm in. All the time.'
He slowly blinked his eyes up at her. Fucking God, she made him believe it. He would believe anything she told him. The sky was purple. The pandemic was eradicated and the world was brand new again.
He's realized whenever he was with her, the rest of the world could go to Hell. They've fought tooth and nail to get to this point. They were stubborn and hardheaded along the way, but they managed to find their way back to each other.
They were always meant for this. He just didn't mean the sex. Everything. She encompasses everything good in his world.
Maudlin thoughts were never something that came easily to a man like him. She made him wand things he never knew existed or never believed in for that matter. She made him believe in love that existed between a man and a woman.
When a man loves a woman, nothing else matters. It doesn't always make sense and you make some missteps along the way, but when you meet the right woman; it's all worth it. She made him forget all about the Tesses and Esthers that wrecked his life. Love should build you up. Not ruin you.
He shook his head, clearing his mind of such heavy thoughts. Tonight wasn't a night of reflection. He finally had the opportunity to thoroughly enjoy and appreciate his woman. The way he should've the first time she told him what she wanted.
There wouldn't be any walking away tonight. He wasn't going to evade her anymore. She told him she wanted all of him and it's exactly what she's going to get.
Her fingers were steady and her gaze never wavered from his as she started unbuttoning her dress. She stood in between his spread opened legs. She stared down at his evident arousal for her protruding from his boxers.
She subconsciously licked her lips as she thought about how he felt inside her. How big he was and how he stretched her out. Her pussy started throbbing just thinking about it. She coyly rubbed her legs to relieve the pressure, hoping he wouldn't notice.
The way his eyes darkened as he stared down at her legs told her he did. He smirked slightly as he met her gaze. She found his arrogance sexy sometimes. The key word being, 'sometimes'.
She finished unbuttoning her dress and slowly spread it apart. She slid it off her shoulders and let it fall to the floor at her feet. She stood there before him naked as the day she was born.
There was a time when she used to be ashamed of her body. She didn't like showing her scars and imperfections. Her insecurities worsened after delivering Matty. Through a lot of therapy, she managed to regain a lot of her self confidence back. She felt more confident in her body than she's ever been in her life.
She's learned to accept the things that are out of her control. She was a forty year old woman. She could finally look at herself in the mirror without flinching.
Joel sat up straight as if in full attention. His eyes roved all over her body. He licked his lips at the small thatch of red curls between her legs. He could see her pussy glistening with arousal, making his cock ache for her. He couldn't wait to be buried deep inside her. To bury his face between her legs and taste the both of them.
He wondered if she would be grossed out if he did that. He's never done that with another woman before, but he's fantasized about doing that with her. He even expressed it in one of the letters he wrote for her. The exchanging of letters has been a really great tool in communication for them. They could literally express their thoughts literally. He intended to fulfill every single promise he made to her in those letters.
He didn't ask as he placed his hands on her waist. There wouldn't be any more asking. He was sure of what he wanted. She seemed to be sure too. Her hands were sure and steady. She wasn't shaking and boldly met his gaze. His woman wanted him. He wouldn't be stupid enough to let her slip through his fingers the second time around.
He bit his bottom lip as he slowly slid his hands up her sides. He skimmed the back of his hands over the sides of her chest, making her tremble as goosebumps fleshed out against her skin. He could see her nipples become erect in the chill of the room. She would be warmed up soon enough.
He looked up at her and shook his head in disbelief, whispering raggedly,'You're so goddamned beautiful, baby. I love ya so fuckin much.'
'I love you too.' She shook her head,'I've never loved anyone like this before. And I never will again. It's been worth it. Hasn't it?'
'Every damned second.' He answered without hesitation. His tone adamant and rough with desire.
She smiled softly as she ran her hands through his dark curls, reminding her so much of Matty's. Joel's hair was graying, but she thought the older he got, the sexier he became. She never imagined herself settling down with an older man. She doesn't think about his age.
He always used to be so hung up on her age though. He thought she deserved someone younger, blah, blah, blah. He wasn't the Prince Charming she envisioned growing up, but he loved her fiercely and kept her safe. They've both made mistakes, but they refused to let it define their relationship.
She sat down in his lap and he scooted back on the bed, giving her enough room. She sat her bare pussy on his abdomen, letting him feel how turned on she was for him. She was turned on the minute he kissed her in the barn this morning.
She had been waiting for the right opportunity. She needed to do this for herself. She couldn't always wait for him to make the first move. Maria told her to take charge for once. She joked control freaks like Joel loved to be bossed around in the bedroom. She wondered if she were speaking about Tommy too.
He cupped the back of her head and gently bunched her hair into his fist. He kissed her slowly, but hungrily. He didn't feel the need to be so aggressive and urgent with her tonight. There would be a time and place for that when the mood strikes. Tonight was for them.
She wrapped her arms around his neck as she sucked his tongue into her mouth. She could taste coffee, her apple pie and his unique taste. It was a heady combination. She felt an exhilarating rush go through her. This is what it's all about. Real and raw moments like this. 'End of the day' moments her grandma would call them. Her grandma said they were the moments to be cherished most of all.
She placed her hands on his chest and gently pushed him back against the bed. He chuckled slightly, staring dazedly up at her. She felt his cock twitch against her ass as she sat on his stomach.
She heard him mutter under his breath,'Well, shit.'
She smiled to herself. She wondered if there was something to be said in Maria's words. She's never took the initiative like this before. Maybe it's something he's wanted, but always lacked in their relationship. She had always been so timid regarding intimacy, but she was finally coming into her own.
She took a deep breath as she gently raked her nails down his chest, through his salt and pepper hair on his chest. His body jerked and he hissed slightly as her nails raked over his nipples. She looked over his face, seeing his eyes half lidded in lust. He was gritting his teeth and his large hands were groping her ass.
He was enjoying every single minute of it.
Her hands trailed down to the waistband of his boxers. She chewed on her bottom lip as she tucked her hair behind her ears.
He groaned softly and his eyes rolled into the back of his head, whispering,'When ya look at me like that.' He sighed shakily,'So fuckin sexy, darlin.'
Her eyes widened slightly at his admission. He's never been so raw and vulnerable during sex. From knowing and loving him so long, she realized Joel Miller kept himself guarded. He was a hate them before they hate you kind of guy. He always kept people at arm's length. He never liked to give people too much credit.
He wasn't afraid to show his appreciation anymore. Whether it be in their relationship or otherwise. She loved him all the more for it.
She licked her lips and hooked her fingers into the waistband of his boxers and tugged them down. He rose his hips up, letting her tug them down the rest of the way. He hurriedly kicked out of them and he almost felt embarrassed at his impatience. He was just thankful he could still get it up and have sexual drive again his age.
She sat on his legs and looked down at his cock. He had a good eight inches. She didn't have much to compare it by, but from what's gathered from conversations with her friends, it was a very good thing. It felt really good too. It got deeper inside her than any man ever could. She didn't just mean that in the physical sense either.
He laid there, compliant and so very willing underneath her. He would let her do whatever the hell she wanted to him. He was so turned on his body was literally shaking and thrumming with excitement. He wanted her to ride him to oblivion and see those heavy tits bounce. He wanted to lay on top of her and pound her into the mattress. He was going to give it all to her.
She sat on his legs staring down at his throbbing and pulsing cock. Precum was dribbling out of his tip. His cock was visibly red and aching for her. He wanted to get her off first.
He kept a firm grip on her hips as he gently pulled her up to sit on his face. Her eyes widened in surprise. She's only ever done this with him once before. She remembered being so nervous and unsure of herself. There wouldn't be anything like that anymore. She knew exactly what she wanted from him and wasn't going to feel ashamed for it.
He leaned up and licked a line up her slit, gathering her wetness on his tongue. He was so eager to taste her. It's all he thought about all day. The kiss in the barn left him wanting more. He wanted more than just her mouth.
She gasped as she felt his long wet tongue on her pussy. She let out a shuddered breath as his did it again, but firmer this time. She could feel him moaning into her throbbing center, the reverberation sending delicious chills throughout her body. She remembered the last time he did this for her on the morning of her birthday. She thought about it ever since. She even touched herself thinking about it. Nothing really comes close to the real thing.
He kept his hands firmly on her hips as he slowly slid his tongue in between her folds. His nose was pressed against her cunt, his entire face buried in her mound as he breathed in her musky and unique taste. Nothing felt as good as her. She was so warm and sexy.
Her legs were resting on the sides of his head, her inner thighs against his temples. He slid his hands down to her thighs, reveling in her smooth and silky skin. He wanted to run his mouth all over her body.
He slid his tongue up and down her inner walls, garnering her juices on his tongue. His eyes rolled in pleasure at the taste of her. He felt cock twitch and moaned into her cunt as precum dribbled out of his tip. She had him green like a teenager. He could cum from this alone.
His entire mouth covered her pussy as he worked his tongue inside her. She tangled her hands in his hair as she moved herself on his tongue. His eyes widened and he smirked against her cunt. He loved her boldness as she began to ride his tongue.
He curled his tongue deep inside her, rolling it around as he nuzzled his nose against her clit. Her grip tightened in his hair and it only heightened his pleasure. He didn't always like pain with sex, but he enjoyed it sometimes. He wondered if he could explore that with her. Would she trust him enough? He knew she thought about and expressed it in their letters.
It was for another time. This was more than they could ask for. They fought so hard to get to this moment. Not just the act itself. Everything.
She whimpered slightly in frustration as he purposely neglected her clit. He was teasing her. She was grinding her cunt onto his mouth as he thrusted his tongue inside her, mimicking the way he wanted to fuck her with his cock.
He slid his hands down to her ass cheeks and gripped them tightly as he moved her pussy against his mouth. He relented and finally started sucking on her clit. Her nails dug into his scalp and he winced slightly as he rolled her clit around his mouth.
He alternated between thrusting his tongue in and out of her and sliding it up to suck on her clit. He gently tugged on it with his teeth, making her entire body jolt, but in a good way.
He looked up at her dazedly, seeing the euphoric look on her face. She took her hands out of his hair to thread into her own. She was holding the sides of her head, bunching her hair into her fists as her body hunched over.
His eyes widened as she stared up at the ceiling almost as if in delirium. He thrusted his hips up into the air to get some relief as he watched her come apart. It was a glorious sight to behold. Her cheeks were flushed red as she gasped for breath. Her entire body was flushed and her bangs were sticking to her sweaty forehead.
She was so beautiful to him like this. She was so guarded with everyone else, but here with him inside these walls, she had the freedom to be whomever she wanted to be without judgment. He was finally seeing her in all her raw glory.
Without any warning, he gently gripped her hips and rolled her over onto her back. She instinctively spread her legs open in invitation. He laid in between her legs and thrust inside her deeply. She was still so wet and tight from her orgasm, making him hiss and grit his teeth. She was so hot, like molten lava.
He gripped her thigh and wrapped it around his waist as he angled his hips lower to bring himself deeper inside of her. She arched her body as her eyes fluttered closed. She bit her bottom lip as she dug her head into the pillows and he thought this is what it meant to be in love.
He realized through therapy that sex never really fulfilled him. Sure, he got off and it felt good, but it never filled that void inside of him. Afterwards, he felt empty and always wanting more. He used to think he was addicted to sex. He's only recently discovered with Becca, he didn't feel empty afterwards. He felt more satisfied and fulfilled than he's ever had in his life. Maybe there was truth to the saying it feels better when you're in love.
Or he's becoming a sap in his old age.
She cupped the back of his neck and brought his head down to hers. She kissed him deeply, her tongue wrapping around his own. She groaned into his mouth as she tasted herself on him. His thrusts were slow, steady and firm. He bottomed out before sliding almost all the way out of her before slamming his hips against hers, making her shudder every time.
He tore his lips from hers as he nipped at her chin. He flicked his tongue out to taste her skin as he licked a trail down to her tits. He cupped them roughly as he sucked on her nipples. He alternated back and forth between each one, making her delirious from pleasure. Her body was still buzzing and humming from her intense orgasm. She came so hard she almost passed out.
She's never had such intense orgasms. Ben made her cum, but it certainly never made her feel like that. She was emotionally disconnected from feeling anything with David. She realized being with Joel what she's been missing in life. A real connection with someone. It felt so good with him because she was truly in love with him. She doubted it would feel this good with anyone else.
He nipped his way up her chest, his beard irritating her skin. He pressed his mouth against hers again, kissing her filthily as his thrusts became deeper and firmer. The bed creaked with their movements and their moans were muffled by their fused mouths, being mindful they had a sleeping toddler sleeping in the next room.
He pulled his lips away from hers to catch his breath and press his forehead against hers. He stared deeply into her eyes as she gripped his biceps tightly. He let out a stunted breath and winced slightly. She could feel his cock pulsing and throbbing deep inside her. She knew his body well enough to know he was close. He was leaking precum as she felt their combined juices coating the insides of their thighs.
He slid his hand between their connected bodies and started rubbing her clit. She gasped as she felt his balls smacking against her ass. She ran her nails down his back, gently digging her nails into his shoulder blades. She was silently telling him to go harder, too far gone to form a coherent sentence.
He looked over her face, making sure she wasn't uncomfortable, but the sheer look of pleasure on her face told him all he needed to know. He rubbed her clit with his thumb as she dug her heels into his ass, pushing him deeper inside her. He was so turned on by her newfound confidence.
She leaned back and groped her tits as he bent down and kissed her, whispering against her lips,'I'm gonna cum. Ya need me to pull out?'
'No.' She whispered breathlessly,'I took care of it.'
A part of him felt bitter about the fact they couldn't have another child. They could, but it wouldn't make it right. She was forty and he was fifty eight. It wouldn't be a logical decision. They were already raising a two year old and trying to salvage their broken relationship with their teenage daughter. Who's yet to speak to them. It wouldn't be fair to bring another child into the fold. They were content with the little family they had.
He was also eager to cum inside her. When they had sex in the stables, it felt too rushed and…distant. He wanted more than just a few minutes up against the wall. He wanted to see her bare beautiful body splayed out before him. He wanted to feel her bare smooth skin against his. He wanted the warmth only she could provide.
His hips stilled as he came. He pressed the entire length of his body against her, feeling her heavy tits pressed against his chest. He let out a strangled moan that suspiciously sounded like a drawn out,'fuck.'
Her eyes focused on his face, seeing his face contorted in pleasure. She winced as she felt his hot cum spurt deep inside her. He rubbed furiously on her clit as the kiss he gave her made her cheeks burn. She's never been kissed like this before. She's certainly never been fucked like this either.
Her orgasm followed soon after. His mouth slacked open when he felt her cunt clamp tightly around his cock. She was so tight it almost hurt. Her juices gushed out of her and he's never remembered a time a woman's been this wet for him before. It made him feel proud of himself, knowing he made the woman he loved feel good. She made him feel the same.
He came so hard he almost passed out. His pupils were blown black as he stared down at her. His body was still trembling from the aftershocks of his orgasm. He took a deep breath and laid his head against her chest.
She slowly unwrapped her legs from around his waist. She winced as he slid out of her. He kissed his way down her body and rested his head against her stomach as she started to run her hand through his hair. They didn't say anything for a while. They just laid there in peaceful silence, basking in the afterglow.
He nuzzled into her stomach and looked up at her, smiling lazily,'Ya know this means you can never leave now, right? Ya fucked me so good.'
She smirked slightly. She didn't know if he was kidding or not. She snorted and rolled onto her side to prop her head on her hand,'I thought we had two days?'
He snickered at the smirk on her face and playfully rolled his eyes,'Two days ain't shit.'
He leaned down and pressed his face into her neck, whispering,'I want ya to stay as long as ya want to.'
She smiled softly as she cupped the back of his head, tangling her hand in his hair. She was never leaving then.
(Up next: Ellie finally reconciles with her parents. Becca and Joel attend a wedding. Does Becca move back in? What's Abby been up to?)