AN: "What the hell is this?" Is what I strongly suspect is what most people are thinking as they read this. Well, like most of my stories, this one has a fairly stupid origin.
Hero and I have been intependently playing a ton of pokemon lately. This isn't a complaint by any means, I just feel the need to establish the warped mindset from which this thing was birthed.
I confided in Hero my anxiety about my upcoming thing, and he responded by saying a very stupid thing. It was said mostly in the spirit of friendship, and also ever so slightly to mock me, but as so many people have inadvertently done before, what he said got my brain wheels turning, and I quickly became obsessed with getting this idea written out. And before I knew it, I had this. So...if you're mad that this exists, blame him. And if you really want to stick it to him, follow him on social media and give lots of likes to his drawings. He hates that. Trust me, it'll be hilarious.
This is supposed to be a one-shot, but I have a very strong feeling I'm going to end up writing one more chapter of this. So...probably a two-shot. And then hopefully I will never feel compelled to write any more of this. I mean, it's not like I have a history of writing one-shots that end up becoming full-fledged multi-chapter stories...
As the frigid air howled around him, Lincoln tightened his scarf around his neck and endeavored, to the best of his ability, to sink as deeply into his knit cap and overcoat as possible, in a desperate attempt to ward off the cold. It was of little help, he'd already performed this ritual many times since he'd begun his vigil. But even so, the act of going through the motions at least gave him the illusion that they were helping, however fleeting it may be.
It was not in Lincoln's nature to suffer willingly. Were it up to him, he would be safely tucked away indoors, next to a roaring fire, with a warm drink in one hand and a good book in the other. But luxuries such a those didn't pay the bills. In fact, they very much did the opposite. And so, here he was, up on some God-forsaken, snow-covered mountain, laying flat on his stomach in a patch of tall grass, desperately trying to move as little as possible. A difficult thing to do when one was simultaneously freezing, but he was trying his best to make it work.
Around him, the surrounding grasses and treetops teemed with life. The calls and cries of the local fauna filled the air, and he often caught frequent, fleeting glimpses of the region's inhabitants darting from one hiding place to another. It grated on him to be surrounded so, and his every instinct cried out for him to deal with the situation, either by removing them from the equation, or, the far more appealing option of simply leaving himself. However, as he had each and every time the temptation had arisen before, he took a deep breath, steeled his nerves, and continued to wait. He'd already spent hours trying to carry out this operation, and it would all have been for naught were he to give in at this stage…
THOOM
Lincoln's ears perked up, and his train of thought abruptly derailed as a sound resounded in the distance. Faint, perhaps even innocuous to the untrained ear, but he knew better. More than that, his unwanted neighbors were the real experts on the matter, and it was quite telling that in the span of a single heartbeat, the entire field had gone deathly silent. They knew what was coming, and that was all Lincoln needed to know that his fortunes were taking a turn for the better.
...From a certain perspective, at least.
THOOM
THOOM
The sound again, closer, louder, and now accompanied by a rhythmic tremor that resounded in the whole world around him, from the shaking of the trees to the trembling of the ground beneath him. It was the last sign Lincoln needed to know that it was time to flatten himself as far within his hiding spot as he could and prepare for what was coming. He didn't have to wait very long.
From the treeline emerged a creature, the very one he'd been seeking. At a glance, she appeared to be a normal enough, human girl. Close-shorn brunette hair framed a pretty, freckled face. Her simple garb, a thin purple t-shirt and skirt, clung tightly soft, womanly body, emphasizing quite succinctly that she was ample in all the right places, and slender in other, also correct places. Had Lincoln encountered her in a town, he would have been just as gobsmacked as he currently was, though for very different reasons.
That was as far the illusion could go before things swiftly began to unravel. The being towered over the field in which Lincoln had hidden, easily standing at least fifteen feet tall or so, given the way she dwarfed the trees she had emerged from. And the tremors that shook the ground with every step of her boots made it very clear that this creature, beautiful though it may be, was something to be admired from afar, if at all. And as her lips curled, revealing razor-sharp teeth, perfectly designed to tear apart something smaller and weaker than her...which, probably included most things, to be honest. But at the moment, Lincoln himself was very much one of those things, and so it became all the more important that he avoided doing anything that might draw attention to himself.
"That her?"
The beginnings of a cry of alarm began to escape Lincoln's lips. But, thankfully, his quick reflexes allowed him to clamp his gloved hands over his mouth in time, resulting in a high-pitched squeak, rather than the potentially life-ending noise that would have resulted otherwise. Still holding his hands in place, not trusting himself to avoid speaking, Lincoln slowly turned his head and directed a baleful glare at the girl who was now lying next to him.
One would be even more forgiven for mistaking this girl for being an ordinary human. She lacked both the stature and the majesty of her follow brunette, appearing for all intents and purposes to be a young woman, roughly Lincoln's own age. At a glance, the only tell that might alert a reasonably diligent person that something was amiss, was that while Lincoln was bundled up in layers of warm clothing, she made do with a simple jersey and shorts. Despite seemingly suffering no ill effects from the weather, Lincoln had implored her to cover up anyway, even going so far as to buy her a coat of his own. But she'd simply smiled condescendingly at him, flexed her arms, showed off her taut, muscular physique...and then he honestly couldn't quite remember what had happened. But when he came to, they were already on the road, and it seemed like it would only make Lincoln look worse if he tried to broach the subject again at that point, so he'd decided to simply let it be. He'd learned that sometimes, it was best to just let Lynn be Lynn.
"She's a big one," His partner observed, softly whistling to herself. "What are they calling her again?"
This time, Lincoln turned sharply towards her, fully intent on quieting her down, for both their sakes. But for once, circumstances intervened in his favor. More or less.
"LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Roared the beast, its bellow piercing the air, and, from the way he was feeling, at least one of his eardrums. A veritable and literal stampede followed, cries of alarm and the rapid pitter-patter of tiny, terrified footsteps erupting from all directions, and within moments, an area once teeming with life now seemed completely devoid of it. Except for Lynn, himself...and her.
"They're calling her a Luna," He hissed at Lynn. "And she's been classified as an Alpha, if the size didn't tip you off. So keep your voice down!"
"Alright, alright," She muttered, sinking a little deeper into their shared hiding spot. "So what's the plan?"
"Standard procedure, straight by the book. You wear her down, I capture her. Ideally, we get a hero's welcome back in town afterward, but I'll settle for us just getting paid if nothing else."
"Uh-huh. And...why, would I do that?"
Fighting down a groan, Lincoln turned to his partner, hoping to see a joking smile. But, to his dismay, Lynn simply looked back at him, completely stone-faced.
"Because...you're the QT-Mon, and I'm the trainer?" Lincoln ventured, knowing exactly how this was going to go down, but ever hopeful that this time, things might turn out differently.
"Pfft," Lynn scoffed, proving him right yet again. "Please. If you want me to fight that, you're going to have to make it worth my while."
And thus, the haggling had begun.
"Head scratchies?" Lincoln tried, only earning himself a derisive snort from the brunette.
"A hot meal?" He suggested. "Meatball subs! All you can eat!"
"Try again," Came Lynn's singsong reply. Her lips curled up into a knowing smirk, and it became abundantly clear what she was angling for. Still…
"Come on, Lynn," He pleaded. "I'm still sore from the last time."
She snorted derisively. "And what exactly were you planning on doing once we caught her?" She asked, jerking her head at the purple-clad behemoth.
"That's...different," He protested. "That's business. It's part of the whole...procedure, you know?"
"Uh-huh."
Lincoln would have argued further, but the Alpha Luna was now looking their way, her eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"Fine," He muttered quickly. "Deal. But I want five water breaks!"
"Big ask," Lynn said, nodding to herself. "But I will graciously grant it…"
She slid closer, her arms encircling his waist as she pressed her cheek against his.
"...because I love you," She concluded, kissing him tenderly on the cheek.
"L...love you too," Lincoln muttered, the cold was momentarily forgotten as heat exploded throughout his face. Lynn chuckled softly, clearly aware of the effect she had on him, and scurried away, disappearing into the brush. So distracted was Lincoln as he attempted to regain his composure, that it took him a moment to realize that he hadn't gotten a chance to work out a plan of attack with his overzealous partner.
"Maybe this time she'll actually wait for my signal?" He muttered to himself, vaguely hopeful, even as the Luna began to walk ponderously toward his hiding spot, sniffing warily in his direction.
"HIIIIIIYAAAAAAA!"
"Then again," He sighed to himself, "It's Lynn."
Lynn erupted from a patch of scrub brush in the Luna's blind spot, soaring high into the air, and landing a spinning kick square in the larger brunette's face. It was an impressive feat of physicality, but not one that was unknown to Lincoln. He had, after all, personally witnessed his partner smashing boulders into rubble with those same kicks—
—Which was why it came as a surprise to both of them when the Luna's reaction was not to topple to the ground in a crumpled, defeated heap, but merely to reel back slightly, blinking in surprise at the attack launched upon her by the much smaller girl. And then...she recovered. And any remaining hope Lincoln had of there being a speedy resolution to this encounter died, rather handily, as she wrapped one of her massive hands around Lynn's torso.
"Eep!" Was all the response Lynn was able to muster before she was unceremoniously slammed into the ground, leaving a distinct, Lynn-shaped impression on the earth.
"Lynn!" Lincoln called out, as he emerged from his hiding spot and ran towards the pair, though even in his panic, he still had the presence of mind to angle his trajectory to circle around them, rather than rushing straight ahead.
Having thrown caution to the wind, it was little surprise when the Luna began turning in his direction, and for a moment, Lincoln was certain his heart had stopped—
"I-I'm o-okay!" Lynn called out as she stumbled to her feet, looking and sounding slightly dazed, but otherwise seeming relatively unharmed.
A state, which seemed ready to change quite abruptly as the Luna seemingly took notice, and began to raise one foot into the air.
"Lynn! Use Agility!" Lincoln commanded as he widened his approach, trying to give the pair a wide berth. The girl's body became enveloped by a white aura, and her movements immediately sharpened, allowing her to easily hop backward to avoid the distressingly large boot that slammed down into the spot she'd previously occupied, without losing her footing.
"Now, Double Team!" He shouted. Lynn's form grew blurry as multiple, illusory copies of herself seemed to overlay on the same spot. The Luna angrily swiped as the mass of Lynns, only to find herself hitting air, her target having already re-positioned herself.
"How about we try attacking her now?" Lynn shouted sarcastically, shooting Lincoln an annoyed look. "I can't beat her if I'm just playing defense!"
"Because, as I was trying to tell you before, she's a Rockin' type, Lynn!" Lincoln replied. "You can't just rush in!"
"Why the hell not?" Came Lynn's retort. "That's good for me, right? Sporty types are strong against Rockin' types."
"Yes," Lincoln admitted, as Lynn easily dodged backward and out of the way of another foot stomp. "But it also means—!"
"LLLLLLUNA!" Roared the behemoth, as stalagmites erupted from underneath the ground Lynn was standing on, sending the girl flying into the air, until gravity reasserted its grip once more and sent her crashing to the ground.
"—That she doesn't have to...physically...hit you...to...hit...you." Lincoln finished lamely.
"O...oookay." Lynn responded, woozily, as she struggled upright. "F-fair enough. That was, totally...my…"
It was at that point that she caught sight of the Luna standing directly before her, in all her ferocious glory, and taking a massive intake of breath.
"...B?" Lynn concluded, her eyes widening as she seemed to realize the position she was in.
Fight or flight kicked in hard. And yet, despite having every reason to choose the latter, Lincoln found himself rushing toward the duo.
"Please don't die," He muttered as he slid in between the combatants, honestly having no idea whether he was referring to himself or his partner. He could feel his imminent destruction delayed, ever so slightly as the Luna finally took notice of him, her attack preparation pausing as she turned her attention to him.
It was just what he needed.
"Take a look at this!" He shouted, throwing open his coat and revealing the shimmering metallic underlay that lay beneath. It cost a pretty penny to install, and it made the garment significantly more uncomfortable to wear than it needed to be, but if this worked…
"Oooooh!" The Luna intoned, eyes widening in wonderment as the sun's rays collided with the shimmering surface, and a kaleidoscopic explosion of colors filled the air. For the first time since he'd laid eyes on her, the twisted snarl that had seemingly permanently adorned her face unfurled into a genuine, awestruck smile. And in that moment, she was no longer a beast, but a beauty.
...but Lincoln knew better than to let himself get distracted.
"Lynn!" He shouted, craning his neck over his shoulder. "I need...huh?"
"Preeeeetty!" Lynn cooed, her face a mirror of her adversary's, much to Lincoln's dismay.
"Lynn!" He exclaimed, this time snapping her out of her momentary distraction. "Get us out of here!"
"Right!" She said, nodding. She lurched forward and wrapped her arms around Lincoln's midsection.
Whether it was their movements disrupting Lincoln's display, or the sound of Lincoln's voice having a similar dispelling effect on the Luna as it had on Lynn, he knew not, but the wonderment abruptly faded from the Luna's eyes, and she locked them squarely upon the duo before her. Visibly enraged, she sucked in another lungful of air—
"LUNA!"
—and released it, an extraordinarily powerful sonic blast erupting from her mouth and tearing through the landscape before her, trees and rocks alike shattering beneath the force of her might.
...Too little, too late, it would seem, however, as Lynn had already managed to transport herself and Lincoln a safe distance away.
"Okay," She panted, giving Lincoln an affectionate squeeze. "Your dumb plans? Not always so dumb, I'll freely admit it."
"T-thank you," Lincoln wheezed, knowing to accept a compliment from Lynn when it was offered, no matter how backhanded they might be.
"So...what now?" She asked.
"Look!" Lincoln pointed at the giant brunette, who was now hunched over, her hands on her knees, and breathing heavily. "Looks like she needs time to recover after using that attack!"
"Which means…" Said Lynn, as she cracked her knuckles in anticipation.
"Yep," Lincoln nodded. "Now we go on the offensive!"
"Lynn!" He called out, pointing at the Luna, "Sweep the leg!"
"Huh?"
...only to find his command go unheeded. Turning back to his partner he saw the girl looking at him, completely befuddled.
"Use Leg Sweep," He clarified, jabbing his finger at the Luna again.
"Ooooh Hooo!" Lynn replied, cackling in delight. "I get you."
A blast of wind exploded in Lincoln's face as Lynn surged past him at superhuman speed, her form a red, white, and brunette blur as she somersaulted into the air, landed right at the feet of the larger brunette…
...and delivered a sharp, sweeping kick to the other girl's booted heel, sending the leg hurtling skyward…
CRASH
Even as the girl herself was sent tumbling to the ground, landing hard enough that Lincoln nearly lost his balance.
"Now Lynn, get her in a submission hold!" He called out as he reached for his satchel. Without complaint, Lynn threw herself at the other brunette, wrapped her entire body around her much larger arm, and pulled her into an arm bar. The size difference between the pair made the move look laughable, but it worked, the Luna roaring in pained outrage as she struggled to both shake the smaller girl off and pull herself upright. An endeavor she was destined to fail at, because one of few things Lincoln knew to be absolutely true about the world, was that when it came to contests of strength, Lynn could never lose!
"Do the thing, Linc!" Lynn grunted, wriggling her body as she attempted to maintain her superior positioning.
"Right!" He replied, retrieving a tiny sphere from his satchel. A tap on the front-facing button caused it to immediately magnify in size, now sitting roughly the size of a sports ball.
"Here goes!" He called out, winding his arm back. "QT Ball...GO!"
He flung the ball with all his might, and it soared into the air. Lincoln didn't consider himself to be particularly athletic. His physical feats were generally more attributable to pluck, luck, and fear-induced adrenaline than any actual athletic skill on his part. But this was one skill he took particular pride in, having spent hours, upon hours mastering it. And that hard work was rewarded as the ball landed squarely on the Luna's face...and then bounced off.
"LU—!" Was all the surprised girl managed to get out as the ball suddenly arrested its movement, hovering in mid-air as a beam of light shot out and enveloped her gargantuan form. Within moments, the Luna's body was converted into the same sort of energy, and sucked into the ball, which sealed itself shut as it fell to the ground...and began to tremble.
The ball bounced into the air, leaping skyward as it violently jerked from side to side. One, twice, THRICE…!
And then, finally, it ceased moving. The ball lay still, its light dimming as it completed its function. The battle was over. It would take a few more seconds for Lincoln's brain to catch up and fully process this recent series of events, but eventually—
"We did it…" He breathed to himself. His eyes widened in realization. "LYNN! WE DID IT!"
—he'd find the appropriate reaction.
Whooping in delight, Lincoln rushed over to his fallen partner and reached down to offer her a hand up.
"We did it, Lynn!" He shouted again, making little effort to repress his excitement to any extent. "We caught the Alpha Luna!"
Lynn snorted in amusement as she accepted Lincoln's help and climbed to her feet. "No, you moron…"
Lincoln scowled as he prepared a retort, but before he could, Lynn lept forward and threw her arms around him, pulling him into a mighty hug.
"YOU caught her, dummy," She giggled. She placed one hand upon his cheek and favored him with a genuine smile. "You're always so quick to sell yourself short."
And mercifully, before Lincoln could be given the opportunity to ruin the moment, Lynn pressed her lips against his, and the pair shared a passionate kiss. He couldn't say for how long, but when she finally pulled away from him, he was seeing spots and strange colors. So...oxygen was probably a factor. Still, she didn't release him, rather, Lynn closed the distance and rested her head upon his shoulder.
"So...what now?" He asked, locking eyes with the beautiful brunette.
"You still owe me…" She said, lightly jabbing one finger into Lincoln's chest, and he could feel his heart leaping. Though, whether it was from terror or excitement, remained to be seen. If he'd had to guess, he'd have said it was most likely a little of both.
"...But I'm gonna hold off on calling that debt," She said, releasing her hold on him and slipping out of his grip. "Just for a while."
"W-why?" Lincoln asked, the blood rushing to various parts of his body leaving him somewhat lacking in his mental faculties.
"Because you've still got to finish the job," Lynn said, pointing downward. "Hero."
Lincoln followed her gaze and saw that she was pointing at the QT Ball containing the freshly caught Alpha Luna. Which was already glowing ominously, and trembling.
"Oh," He said, feeling properly chastened. "R-right. I've still gotta…"
"Or she'll just get out and we'll have to do this whole song and dance all over again," Lynn confirmed. "And given the size of that big bitch...I have a feeling your pelvis isn't going to be good for much of anything once that's done."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Lincoln muttered, a shiver running through his body, an odd mixture of fear and...anticipation.
"You're gonna kick her big, bloated ass," Lynn giggled, leaning forward and giving Lincoln an affectionate peck on the cheek. "As for me…"
She reached past him and into his satchel, fishing around for a bit before finally retrieving what she'd sought. His wallet.
"I'm going to head back into town and get you the medicine you're absolutely going to need, come tomorrow," She said, giving him a knowing wink. "Aaaand a few meatball subs for myself, because I deserve it."
Now it was Lincoln's turn to snort in amusement.
"Thanks, Lynn," He said, fixing his partner with a genuine, grateful smile. "You're the best."
"I know," She said haughtily, as she pivoted in place, and began her march into town.
Letting out a sigh that was only slightly anxious, Lincoln set his pack on the ground and began withdrawing the supplies he'd need for tonight's endeavor. An extra large box of chocolates, a few dozen roses, some scented candles…
"Oh, and Linc?"
He raised his head, and saw Lynn calling to him from a little way down the road.
"Don't forget to use your back brace this time!"