One rainy morning, Lincoln was taking out the trash. Once he had finished, he turned back toward the house. But as he did, he suddenly stepped into a puddle of mud!
Lincoln came onto the front porch of the house. Before he opened the door, he took off his shoes on the porch and left them there. His socks were still clean and dry, so he left them on.
Lincoln opened the front door, and then he glanced at nobody. "When your house has to accommodate thirteen pairs of shoes, you only have space to leave them on the porch when it rains," he replied, "especially when the floors are very difficult to clean."
Rita and Lynn Sr. came over, carrying Lily. They were all wearing their shoes because theirs were clean.
"Thank you for taking your shoes off, sweetie," said Rita.
"No problem, Mom," Lincoln said. "Are you guys going somewhere?"
"Yes," Rita explained, "we're taking Lily to visit Aunt Ruth for the day, especially since it's time for her monthly antifungal procedure. So can you make sure the floors are cleaned while we're gone?"
"Sure," Lincoln agreed.
"Thank you, sweetie," Rita said, and she kissed Lincoln's forehead. "We'll be back tomorrow afternoon." She carried Lily out of the house and toward the car.
Lynn Sr. shuddered in horror. "Those dreaded pedicures…" he muttered. "I can already taste them…" He reluctantly followed Rita and Lily outside, closing the door behind him.
After his parents had left, Lincoln made his way back to his room. He pulled out a comic book from his desk drawer and sat on his bed, reading it in peace. But as he started getting into it, he heard a car driving up.
Lincoln glanced out of his window and saw Lori exiting her car. She was talking on the phone as she did, so she wasn't paying attention to where she was walking.
"Lori!" Lincoln called. "Watch the mud!" But suddenly, he slipped and fell out the window! He landed in a big puddle of mud right beside the house, and while he wasn't hurt, his clothes were covered in mud. As Lincoln rose to his feet, he saw muddy footprints leading from Lori's car straight for the house.
Lincoln made his way to the porch, but he had to take his muddy clothes off on the porch. Now wearing only his underwear, Lincoln opened the door, and he was shocked to see the muddy footprints trekking through the living room! The footprints led straight into the kitchen, so Lincoln followed them.
Once Lincoln entered the kitchen, he saw Lori grabbing a soda from the refrigerator. She was still talking on her phone and still wearing her muddy shoes.
"Lori," Lincoln said in annoyance.
Lori noticed Lincoln and frowned. "Lincoln, I'm on the phone," she snapped, "and put some clothes on. You are literally embarrassing." But then, she spoke kindly into her phone. "Sorry, Boo-Boo Bear," she told Bobby, "I'm still here." Lori walked off with her soda and her phone, still not caring about the mud.
Lincoln groaned and shook his head, then he went to a secret compartment under the stairs. He kept a set of clean clothes inside it, so he put them on. Next, he grabbed a pair of tall, rubber boots and put them on his feet, then he grabbed a bunch of mopping supplies. "Well, I guess I'd better get to cleaning," he said, and he went back into the kitchen.
A little while later, Lincoln had finished mopping the kitchen floor. "Ah, beautiful," he smiled. "Nothing could possibly ruin this."
But Lincoln spoke too soon. Lynn and Lana came in through the outside door with Charles, and their feet were covered in mud. Lynn grabbed a giant sandwich from the refrigerator and began to eat it, but it left a lot of sauce on the floor as well.
Lana began rolling around on the floor with Charles, coating it in mud. "Come on, Charles," she laughed, "come and get some!"
Mud splashed onto Lincoln's shirt and face again, and he frowned in annoyance. "Lana," he replied, "I just cleaned the floor!" But then, a strong burst of air flew in his face as a loud belching sound came.
The sound was from Lynn. After eating her sandwich in two bites, she had a lot of messy gas in her stomach. She coated Lincoln's clothes in messy sauces and ingredients as she belched.
Lynn grinned in contentment, but then she noticed Lincoln covered in messy food. "Whoa," Lynn said, "you better clean yourself up, Stinkin'." Then she walked off.
"Come on, Charles," Lana said happily, "let's get you cleaned up." She and Charles followed Lynn, and they tracked more mud through the kitchen.
Gherkin slid off Lincoln's face, and he frowned in disappointment. "At least it can't get any worse," he replied, but then he noticed his clothes and groaned in annoyance. "Excuse me," he said to nobody in embarrassment, and he walked toward the basement.
Later, Lincoln had changed into some more clean clothes. After he had cleaned the kitchen all over again, he began to vacuum the carpet in the dining room. Fortunately, the carpet was not stained or coated in mud, so it was easier to clean that. The only thing Lincoln was concerned about was a glass pitcher of red juice on the dining room table.
Once Lincoln had finished, he leaned against the wall and sighed. "Finally," he said, "something went right for once." But, of course, Lincoln was wrong.
Everything was okay and quiet at first… But then there was an explosion from under the table! The table jumped, and it spilled the pitcher! Red juice splashed over the tablecloth and onto the carpet, and it got on Lincoln's clothes!
Lincoln lifted the tablecloth and found Lisa underneath the table. "Lisa!" he declared. "What are you doing?"
Lisa walked out from under the table holding a strange machine. "Due to the deterioration of the house's thermal radiation cooker, I'm testing my new machine to turn Triticum aestivum into a complementary early-morning refreshment for consumption," Lisa explained, but Lincoln just stared in confusion. "I'm trying to make toast, but the toaster is broken," Lisa explained simply, and she walked away. As she did, she walked straight into the puddle of juice on the floor, leaving red footprints all over the carpet.
"Well, can you not do it under the table?" Lincoln asked her. "You've spilled cranberry juice all over the carpet."
Lucy poked out her head from under the table, which startled Lincoln. "It's not cranberry juice," she said monotonously to her older brother.
"Oh, is this one of your fake blood samples, Lucy?" Lincoln asked her in annoyance.
Lucy hesitated. "Yes…" she answered slowly. "Let's go with that…" Then she retracted under the table again, leaving Lincoln stunned.
At last, Lincoln had finished cleaning the dining room carpet once more. He also finished cleaning the living room floor, so he took off his boots and sat on the couch, feeling exhausted.
"Finally," he sighed in relief, "I'm done. And I hope nobody else causes a mess. This is my last clean shirt until my laundry is done."
Just on the other side of the couch, Leni was painting her toenails red. Once she had finished, she wiggled her toes and smiled. "Totes beautiful!" she said, and she excitedly put her shoes back on and eagerly stood up… But she accidentally hit the table, which spilled the nail polish on the carpet.
The bottle landed next to Lincoln, which he noticed right away. "Oh, Leni," he sighed, and as he climbed down to clean it up, he stepped in the red polish and stained his socks!
Leni noticed this and looked annoyed. "Lincoln! You spilled my nail polish!" she scolded him, unaware that it was actually herself who had done it. She walked off in annoyance, but she stepped in the red puddle and tracked footprints across the carpet again!
This made Lincoln very angry. "That's it!" he declared. "That's it! Everyone downstairs!"
A few minutes later, Lincoln had gathered his sisters in the living room and sat them on the couch. Because Lincoln's socks had been stained by Leni's nail polish, he was now barefoot as he walked across the carpet.
"In case you guys didn't know, Mom and Dad told me to make sure the carpets stayed clean while they were gone," Lincoln said firmly. "And I have been working all morning on cleaning them, and you guys are ruining it!"
"Lincoln, you are literally overreacting," Lori told him. "It's not even that bad."
"Actually, Lincoln does have a point," Lisa lisped. "Our parental units desire for us to keep the floors clean, but given our current situation, it gets to be very hard. But I don't have that predicament."
"There is fake blood on your shoes, Lisa," Lincoln told her.
"Uh… right…" Lucy said slowly.
Lisa glanced at her feet, and then she kicked off her shoes. "Your point being?" she asked.
"My point is," Lincoln continued, "you guys are always making a mess on the floor, and it's really hard to clean it up. And I've had to clean up after all of you all morning!"
"Oh, please," scoffed Lola, "you're making your fair share of messes, too."
"Well, that's why I'm challenging you guys to a bet," Lincoln declared.
"What kind of a bet, Stinkin'?" asked Lynn.
"Since we're always tracking through the house and leaving messes, I bet that I can go the longest without leaving any kind of messy footprints," Lincoln challenged his sisters.
"Sounds simple enough," Lori agreed. "What are the rules?"
"Pretty straightforward," Lincoln explained. "We can't wear shoes or socks in the house for anything, and we can't step in any puddles made inside the house." Then he showed his sisters a box of plastic bags. "Shoes and socks can only be put on or taken off outside on the porch, so if your bare feet get dirty, you'll have to wear these plastic bags to cover them up. And finally, whoever first ends up wearing dirty shoes or making footprints inside the house has to go on floor-cleaning duty for the whole month!"
"You're on," Lincoln's sisters agreed.
"Okay," Lincoln declared. "And it starts…now!"
Without hesitating, Lincoln's sisters all took off their shoes and socks and placed them outside with Lincoln's, and then they all hurried back inside. Because nobody was wearing any shoes, no mud or fake blood was being left within the house aside from what was already left there.
Lincoln smiled and sighed. "Well, I guess I'd better get to cleaning…again," he replied.
For the rest of the morning, Lincoln wore plastic bags on his feet as he finished cleaning the living room carpet. Once he was done, he took off the bags and put them in the trash.
As Lincoln came back into the living room, he saw Lola applying makeup on the couch. "Hey Lola," he said, "what are you doing?"
Lola glanced at him. "What does it look like I'm doing, Pinhead?" she snapped. "I'm making myself look pretty." She applied eyeliner to her eyelids and glanced in her mirror. "Ah, très fantastique," she smiled. Lola reached for her lipstick, but she accidentally knocked over a small bottle of glitter toenail polish. The polish spilled onto the floor.
Lincoln grinned deviously. "Well, I'm not cleaning that," he scoffed.
Lola looked down nervously. She had to step down to clean it, but she didn't want to lose the bet. She looked nervous… But then she smiled and revealed a long-handled princess vacuum. "Good thing I still have this," she grinned, and she used it to clean up the mess.
Once she had finished, Lola glared victoriously at Lincoln. "Nice try," she scoffed, and she stepped down. Because the mess was clean, she didn't leave any trail behind her as she walked toward the stairs.
But at that moment, Lana came back in through the door. She was covered in mud, and even though she had already taken off her shoes, her feet were still muddy.
"Hey, Lols," Lana smiled, and she began to step onto the carpet. But then she stopped and pulled herself back. "Oops," she said, "almost forgot, can't track mud through the house." She grabbed some plastic bags from the box and put them on her feet, but Lola stopped her again.
"Lans," said Lola, "you're still muddy."
Mud still dripped off from Lana's overalls and hat, but she had an idea. She grabbed an empty garbage bag from the box of plastic bags and put herself inside it. "Problem solved," she smiled.
The twins walked upstairs, with neither of them making a mess.
Lincoln just shrugged and walked upstairs. When he reached the top, he saw his sisters performing their usual activities while barefoot. But as they did, it was hard for them to avoid making messy trails.
Lincoln smiled confidently. "Oh, it won't be long…" he smiled, and he went into his room. But at that moment, there was a loud explosion! As Lincoln opened his door, he was horrified by what he saw. There was broken glass and spilled chemicals all over the floor!
"What's happened here?!" he gasped.
Lisa poked her head out of her room. "Apologies," she explained, "I had been working on fixing the toaster, but there was a slight mishap in my wiring. I'm afraid my beakers were broken in the explosion."
"Well, clean this up, Lisa!" Lincoln ordered.
"I am not about to forfeit this bet by making footprints," Lisa responded. "Besides, there is broken glass here, so it is not safe to be barefoot or wearing plastic bags."
"Can't you get Todd to clean it up?" suggested Lincoln. "He's got wheels and extendable arms."
"Negative," Lisa answered. "Todd was also affected by the blast and is currently undergoing maintenance, so he cannot assist."
"Well, somebody has to clean up this mess!" Lincoln called. "Therefore, somebody will have to put on shoes to clean it up!"
Lincoln's sisters all opened their bedroom doors. "Dibs not it!" they all declared together, and they touched their noses.
Lincoln was the last one to do so, which would have meant he'd lost, but he stood firmly. "Tough luck," he declared. "I'm not doing it!"
"Fine!" the sisters declared, and they all closed their doors sharply.
"We'll see who'll be the first one to forfeit!" Lincoln added. "You guys won't be able to keep up being barefoot forever!"
"We'll see about that!" the sisters all declared simultaneously.
Lincoln just went back into his room. "Well, if my sisters are confident about staying in this bet," he said, "I'm just gonna have to wait them out." He sat on his bed and grabbed some comic books, and he began to read them.
Later that afternoon, Lincoln had finished reading comic books, so he decided to check on his sisters. "I'm sure that by now," he said confidently to himself, "someone wants to have her socks and shoes back."
As Lincoln opened his door, he saw the floor was still littered with broken glass and chemicals, and he heard his sisters laughing.
Lincoln carefully made his way toward Lori's room, but he had to stand on his tiptoes to do so. As he approached Lori's room, he heard her laughing and talking on her phone to Bobby. As she did, she lounged on her bed with her feet sticking straight forward.
Lori finished her phone call with Bobby, and then she noticed Lincoln. "Lincoln, this is literally genius," she told him. "I can't believe you didn't make this bet before."
Lincoln was confused. "What do you mean?"
"Come check this out," Lori said, and Lincoln came inside. "With your barefoot bet in play, I finally found time to customize my toenails for Bobby."
Lincoln looked at Lori's toes, and she had painted "Boo-Boo Bear" on her toenails, with each of the letters on its own nail and the two sets of double O's each sharing a toenail.
"Okay, I gotta admit, that's really pretty," said Lincoln.
Lori smiled. "Yeah, it literally is the best I've ever done."
As Lincoln walked away from Lori's bed, he noticed Leni customizing a pair of toe socks. The socks were very hairy and had plastic claws on them.
"What are you doing, Leni?" asked Lincoln.
"You said we had to have bear feet," Leni explained, "so I made bear socks. I just wish I could try them on, but I don't want to lose the bet."
Lincoln just stared. "Leni, as creative as that is, I didn't mean you need to have feet like bears. Barefoot just means you can't wear any shoes or socks."
"Dang it," Leni muttered. "I was really confident about these."
As Lincoln left Lori and Leni's room, he heard music coming from Luna and Luan's room, so he jumped over the mess. As he checked inside, he saw Luna playing her guitar with her feet.
"Luna?" he asked. "How are you playing your guitar like that?"
"I'm a super shredder, bro," Luna smiled. "I've had plenty of time to practice." But after a moment, she placed her pick and guitar down. "Dang, dude," she muttered, "I really tore my toes up."
"You okay?" Lincoln asked, and he walked over to her. As he did, he saw that Luna was bleeding between her toes from the guitar strings.
"I'll be fine," Luna answered, then she grabbed some tissues and wrapped her toes in them so they didn't drip blood. "I just gotta get some more practice in."
Lincoln began to feel bad, but before he could say anything, the lights suddenly went out, and a spotlight focused on Luan over on her stage.
"You're 'toe-tally' a shredder, Luna," Luan laughed. "Get it?"
"Luan," Lincoln began, "you don't have to—"
"I think I've found my 'sole' purpose in life, Lincoln," Luan joked, and then she pushed a button on a remote control.
"Luan," Lincoln began, "I think-" But he was suddenly caught in a snare and had his feet tickled.
"How about I 'sock' it to ya, Linc?" Luan joked.
"Luan," Lincoln said between his laughs, "how about I 'shoe'?"
"Okay," Luan agreed, so she released Lincoln.
As Lincoln came out of Luna and Luan's room, he crept over to Lynn and Lucy's room. He saw Lynn playing different ball games and Lucy reading her spell book on her bed.
"Are you guys okay?" he asked.
Lynn glanced at Lincoln. "Hey Linc," she smiled, "I have to thank you."
"For what?" Lincoln asked.
Lynn showed Lincoln some pictures on her phone. "Here's what my feet normally look like each day," she told him. The pictures showed that Lynn's feet had ripped and dirty toenails, athlete's foot fungus, peeling sweaty skin, and rancid smells.
"And look at my feet now," said Lynn. As Lincoln glanced at Lynn's feet now, they were clean and neat. They also smelled beautiful.
"How did you get your feet so beautiful?" Lincoln asked, but then he covered his mouth in embarrassment. "Uh, no I mean—"
"It's fine," said Lynn. "I just never got a chance to actually work on personal hygiene for my feet until now."
"And check this out," Lucy added, "I found a neat spell in Great Grandma Harriet's spell book for removing foot smells." She looked at the book and began to read it. "Heal the eyes and cleanse the nose, remove all scents between our toes."
A gust of wind blew around the room, causing Lincoln to back out and make his way to the twins' room.
Lincoln crept by the mess and peeked into the twins' room. As he did, he saw Lola give a pedicure to Lana.
"What are you two doing?" asked Lincoln.
"Lola finally taught me how to give a proper pedicure," Lana smiled, "so now I'm getting one."
Lola showed Lincoln her toenails. "I got my favorite: French tips," she smiled. "Thanks, Linky."
Lincoln chuckled nervously, but he just backed away and walked toward Lisa's room. He checked in on Lisa, who was still working on fixing Todd. "Hey Lisa," he said, "how is Todd coming along?"
"Not very good," Lisa sighed, "I'm afraid he won't be restored to full working order for three days at best."
"Three days?!" Lincoln gasped. "But what about this mess you made? If Mom and Dad see this, then I'll get in trouble for it!"
"As modern-day kids say: That's a you problem," Lisa replied.
Lincoln didn't want to simply forfeit the bet, but he didn't want to get himself or his sisters into trouble. And from what he saw, his sisters were all having so much fun doing their activities barefoot.
Finally, Lincoln couldn't handle it anymore. "Alright!" he shouted. "Everyone listen up!"
Lincoln's sisters peeked out from their rooms and looked at Lincoln, confused.
"Alright, guys," Lincoln said, "you guys are obviously more resilient than I thought. But now, I've had enough."
"What, are you adding more clauses to the bet?" asked Lola in annoyance.
"No," Lincoln said, and he revealed a pair of clean shoes and his rubber cleaning boots. "I'm throwing in the towel."
"Oh, right!" Leni gasped. "I meant to throw those towels into the washing machine!"
"NO!" Lincoln yelled, and he put his socks and boots back on. "I'm ending this bet!" Then he walked into the chemicals and headed downstairs—even though he left footprints all over the stairs. He came back with the cleaning supplies and began cleaning up Lisa's mess.
However, as Lincoln's sisters saw Lincoln doing the cleaning, they all felt bad for him. They all revealed their shoes as well, and they put them on their respective feet—except Leni, who put on her "bear feet" toe socks. Once they had done so, they all helped Lincoln clean the hallway upstairs.
Finally, the floors were all clean again, and the girls felt proud of themselves. They gathered in the living room and triumphantly smiled.
"I knew we'd win that bet, dudes," Luna grinned.
"Yeah," agreed Luan, "Lincoln really did 'heel' to us." And then she laughed.
Lincoln came back downstairs, feeling ashamed. "Hey guys?" he asked nervously.
The girls all glanced at Lincoln, looking annoyed. "What do you want, Lincoln?" Lori frowned. "Have you come to beg us to help you? Cause we're literally not taking on cleaning duty—"
"No!" Lincoln interrupted. "Actually, I want to apologize."
Lincoln's sisters all stopped looking annoyed, and Lincoln began to talk more calmly.
"Listen," Lincoln admitted, "you guys were right. I was just taking this whole thing too far. I was just so frustrated about you guys continuously making messes when Mom and Dad wanted me to keep the floors clean while they were at Aunt Ruth's for her monthly pedicure."
The girls all winced in horror.
"Yeah," Lincoln replied. "I know. But that's no excuse for what I did to you guys. So… I'm sorry for making you guys follow through with the bet. And to prove it, I will be on floor cleaning duty for the whole month, and I will not complain."
As Lincoln went upstairs to his room, his sisters all stared at each other. They began to worry about their brother.
The next day was another muggy and rainy day. The girls went all around the house, both inside and outside.
That afternoon, Lincoln came downstairs and gathered his cleaning supplies for cleaning the floors. As he did, he saw that the floors were already clean, and his sisters were sitting together on the couch, still barefoot.
Leni was the first one to notice Lincoln. "Hey Linc," she smiled at him.
Lincoln was puzzled. "Hey guys," he said. "What's going on?"
"We cleaned all the floors in the house for you, bro," said Luna.
"But I thought that was my responsibility?" Lincoln responded.
"After you went upstairs yesterday," said Lana, "we talked about it, and we worked something out."
"We realized that you were right about us always making messes on the floor," Lynn told him, "so we wanted to clean the floors together for you to apologize for that."
"You did technically lose the bet," Lola reminded him, "but we all liked how you were willing to forfeit to clean up Lisa's beaker mess."
"So, we decided that we'll all do our part in keeping the floors clean," Lucy added. "Therefore, you will not be responsible for cleaning the whole house on your own."
Lincoln smiled slightly. "Well, that's really nice of you guys," he answered, "but why are you guys still barefoot? The bet's already over."
"True, we do enjoy wearing our shoes inside the house," said Lisa, "but we also realized it's medically important to not always be wearing shoes, so we all agreed to try it in the house more often."
"Yeah, we can accomplish great 'feet-s' without our shoes," added Luan, and then she laughed. "Get it?"
Leni patted a seat next to her on the couch. "Aren't you gonna join us, Lincoln?" she offered.
"Really?" asked Lincoln.
"Yeah," Lori confirmed. "But if you want to join us, you'll have to take off your socks and shoes as well…just this once."
Lincoln thought for a moment… Then he took off his shoes and socks and joined his sisters on the couch. "Thanks, guys," he said. "I promise not to force you guys not to wear shoes anymore."
"No problem, little bro," smiled Luna, and everyone smiled.
At that moment, Rita and Lynn Sr. came back with Lily. When they opened the door, they were surprised to see the kids sitting barefoot on the couch and the floors clean.
"Wow, Lincoln," Rita smiled, "you did a really great job cleaning these floors."
"It was all of us, Mom," Lincoln explained, and his sisters agreed.
"Well, we're very proud of you all," smiled Lynn Sr., "and now that that horrible nightmare with Aunt Ruth's pedicure is over, who's hungry?!" At his response, the kids all volunteered.
Rita glared briefly at her husband, but she was happy about the kids working together. However, Lincoln and his sisters all ran over and stopped them in their tracks before they could step off the welcome mat and onto the carpet.
"Halt!" Lincoln declared.
"No trekking mud through our clean halls!" Lynn declared.
"Yeah, and no shoes on in the house!" the twins said together.
"But kids," Rita began, "our shoes are clean, and-"
"Sorry, but rules are rules," Lori insisted.
"You'll have to be barefoot in the house today," Leni said, and she held up two pairs of the toe socks she had been customizing yesterday. "So go ahead and put on these!"
Rita and Lynn Sr. looked at each other in confusion.