"I'm terribly sorry, Mochizuki… what was it again?" said the World God.
"Kuroki. Mochizuki Kuroki," said a human sitting in the clouds of the Divine Realm.
"Kuroki, I sincerely apologize for accidentally killing both you and your cousin with a single lightning bolt," said the old man.
"You mean you also killed Touya?" said Kuroki. "How dare you! He had his whole life ahead of him!"
"You seem more upset about your cousin's death than your own," said God.
"My life was practically over anyway, thanks to that redheaded bimbo Bakane… I mean, Akane."
"But you were still only 23 years old," said God. "If it weren't for me, you would have had a chance to turn it around."
"As if!" laughed Kuroki. "I made the mistake of knocking her up 5 years ago, so we immediately had a shotgun marriage, then she forced me to take out a loan in my name only, to pay for an expensive house, then she divorced me and kicked me out of my own house 3 years later, then she spent the next 2 years spending my child support money on herself rather than our actual child Akamatsu, whom I wasn't even allowed to visit! At least I can't continue paying her if I'm dead. Serves her right. Also, I hope she ends up inheriting my debt."
"That sounds terrible," said God. "I wish you better luck in your next life. Speaking of which, I already reincarnated your cousin into another world with his teenage body and memories intact. If you like, I can reunite the two of you."
"Memories intact, huh?" said Kuroki. "Why would I want to remember such a miserable existence?"
"In that case, I could reincarnate you as a baby in your old world with no memories," suggested God.
"In the same world as my ex?" said Kuroki. "Do I at least get to chose what family I get reincarnated into?"
"No, I'm afraid it's completely random," said God. "There's also a 50% chance you get reincarnated as a girl."
"So you don't get to choose either," said Kuroki. "Last I checked, my ex got knocked up again by another man. I think his name was Tachibaka… I mean, Tachibana. Anyway, with my luck, I might get reincarnated as my own son's half-sibling, and I'd rather stay as far away from their mother as possible."
"So you're opting for the isekai brand of reincarnation, but without memories," said God.
"Yes, but preferably not the same isekai as Touya," said Kuroki. "It would get pretty awkward if only one of us recognizes the other."
"Actually," said God, "there's another other world that's just perfect for your request. It gives you the option of selling your memories for skill points. As someone who doesn't want to keep your memories, you'd practically be gaming the system!"
"I'm in!" said Kuroki.
"Great!" said God. "I'll call Melfina. She's the goddess of reincarnation who specializes in that particular world."
God reached for his old-fashioned spin-dial phone. Before he could answer, however, the phone rang on its own.
"Hello?" said God after he picked up the phone.
"YOU KILLED OFF ONE OF MY CHARACTERS!" screamed an angry female voice so loudly that even Kuroki could hear her from the phone's receiver.
"Etra-chan?" said God. "I'm a little busy right now, with the soul of the 'character' in question."
"IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU, HE WOULD HAVE HAD A CHANCE TO TURN HIS LIFE AROUND!" screamed Etra.
"That's what I said!" said God.
"AND YET YOU JUST HAD TO KILL HIM WITH LIGHTNING!"
"It was an accident, I swear!"
"I HAD A PLAN TO DELIVER JUSTICE IN THE END, BUT NOW I HAVE TO START OVER FROM SCRATCH!"
"Why don't you transfer my financial debt to my ex?" suggested Kuroki. "She's the last living benefactor of the loan, and she totally deserves it."
"I'M THE GODDESS OF PLOT DEVICES, NOT YOU!" screamed Etra.
"And I'm the victim who had his life stolen twice, one of which was literal," said Kuroki. "I think I at least deserve some input."
"He's got a point there," said the World God.
"MAYBE SO, BUT THAT INPUT… actually makes sense." said Etra. "I'll take it into consideration." She then hung up.
"Sorry about that," said the World God. "As if my mistake weren't bad enough, it turns out that Etra-chan Saw It. Now that that's over with, let's get Melfina on the line." He started dialing on his phone.
"What now?" said Melfina on the other line. "I've been super busy for a while now."
"If you do this one job for me, I'll give you an extended vacation." As soon as the World God said that, Melfina suddenly showed up in person.
"Wow," said Kuroki, "you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." What am I saying? I'm not ready to start dating again, after everything I've been through!
"You're pretty good-looking yourself," said Melfina. "So, I take it you want to be reincarnated into another world?"
"Yeah, I hear it's a world you specialize in," said Kuroki.
"In that case," said Melfina, "use the menu to set up your starting profile for when you awaken in the new world."
A flat touchscreen menu appeared in front of Kuroki. "It's asking for my class. What's the strongest class in your world?"
"For humans, that would be the Summoner class," answered Melfina.
"What kind of things will I be able to summon?" asked Kuroki.
"Anything you can form a contract with," answered Melfina.
"How do I do that?" asked Kuroki.
"Depending on whether or not they understand human language, you either ask them for consent, or engage them in battle."
"Is it possible to form a contract before I go to that world?" asked Kuroki.
"Are you asking me for my consent?" said Melfina. "I gladly accept! Exploring the world in person will make for a great vacation!"
"I guess that works for both of us," said Kuroki.
"How romantic!" said Melfina.
Crap, I think she's taking this the wrong way, thought Kuroki. I only wanted to avoid starting out unarmed in another world! He started sliding his finger across the menu.
"Hang on a minute," said Melfina. "Those were your memories you just dragged into the outgoing exchange box. Are you sure you want to sell them?"
"I'm quite certain I won't need to remember anything from my past life," said Kuroki.
"You mean you'll fall in love with me all over again?" said Melfina.
Crap, what have I gotten myself into this time? thought Kuroki. He then noticed a change at the top of the menu. "Huh. It looks like selling my memories caused my new name to be randomly generated. 'Kelvin.' Not too shabby. I still haven't forgotten anything yet, unfortunately."
"The memory loss will take effect when you're transferred to the other world," explained Melfina. "Though you are allowed to see what your new name will be in advance. I guess I should get used to calling you 'Kelvin.' Or maybe 'Darling.' Oh, I know! 'My Lord!'"
I can't afford any more mistakes! thought Kelvin. Luck is not on my side. I'll need to choose my skills wisely! "Let's see, Double Skill Points, Double Growth Rate, what else…?"
About an hour later, Kelvin was finished choosing his skills. Goodbye painful memories, hello isekai! It's all up to you, Kelvin! he thought to himself. If you remember nothing else, remember this: you're Japanese. Wait, why is that the most important thing to remember? Crap, my memory's already fading!