Egon couldn't hear his quick steps over the sound of his heavy breathing. The new and improved proton pack mind as well have been light as a feather with how fast he was running. He was no stranger to running as fast as his body let him but this instance gave him super strength. Or that was what it felt like. If he wasn't so worried and terrified, he would have been proud of himself.
"Egon!" Wheezed Ray, "Wait up!"
"I'm afraid you will have to be the one to increase your speed, Raymond!" Shouted Egon, "This is an urgent matter!"
Egon glimpsed an alp on the sidewalk that slinked away as he approached Janine's apartment building. He didn't know quite what to expect when he arrived at Janine's home. All he knew was that it would most likely be something terrible.
He slammed the side of his body against the door as he turned the knob and managed to enter the apartment right away. When he looked around, he didn't find the cozy kitchen that he became acquainted with when he started to know Janine. Instead, he found open cabinets and spilled food containers. He found a tablecloth that was halfway off the table. He found shattered jars on the ground that once held cookies and trinkets (but not in the same jar). Everything around him was violated and ominous. But he didn't have time to dwell on that.
Down the hall, he heard sounds that indicated that his partner and child were alive. Casey was crying in his bedroom and Janine was screaming from her room. However, this wasn't the type of high-pitched scream that was commonly heard from women in horror films. Janine's scream was more of one that indicated beastly struggle. Either way, she needed help.
Before Egon could give it any further thought, he ran into Janine's bedroom. He was expecting Janine to be in distress. He was prepared to save her.
However, what he saw was quite different.
Janine was on her knees in her short-sleeved nightgown. The groans of struggle were actually her using every ounce of strength to strangle the small alp that was unfortunate enough to break into her bedroom. It looked like a baby alp - large head and small body - and his eyes were even larger than usual since all that choking was causing them to pop out of his head.
"How do you like it when I violate YOUR space, huh?" she said as she gritted her teeth.
The alp gagged, not even attempting to fight back.
"Janine?!" said Egon.
Janine looked to her side while her hands were still wrapped around the demon's neck. Her look went from manic and disheveled to relieved… and still disheveled.
"Egon!" she said, "I'm so glad you're here!"
Ray finally caught up with Egon and ran into the bedroom as this bizarre scene was playing out. It didn't take him long to catch his breath.
"What's going on?!" he said.
"You wanna know what this little fuck stick tried to do?" asked Janine.
"What did he try to do?"
"He tried to steal my breast milk!"
Egon shuttered. He didn't want to think about this violation of personal space, as if the alps weren't doing enough of that already.
"From the fridge?" asked Ray.
"No," said Janine, "From the SOURCE." She then went back to wringing the alp's neck. "Joke's on you, Buddy! I'm weaning my kid right now, so you're not gonna get much from these titties!"
This tended to happen with Egon. He usually underestimated how much Janine could fight back and take care of herself. If there was an opportunity to punch a ghost or strangle a ghost or dribble a ghost like a basketball, she would take it. She didn't need him to rescue her after all. Egon never admired Janine more than he did in this moment. But was it love? He still wasn't sure.
While this was going on, Casey kept crying in his crib. This was understandable since something like this is impossible to sleep through. Despite this, Egon wished that Casey would pipe down already so that he wouldn't give away that he existed and that he was in his room.
"All right, Janine," said Egon, "Let go of the creature's neck so that we can follow the standard ghostbuster protocol."
Janine let go, causing the small demon to very quickly regain his composure and look around the room.
But as he was about to phase through the wall and fly into the night, Janine grabbed the wooden Star of David and held it in front of the monster.
"Here, you little pervert!" she said, "David says 'hi!'"
The demon suddenly started to sizzle and let out a raspy screech from being exposed to this carefully-shaped piece of wood. Now, he could barely move from where he was, although the carpet would suffer for it.
"IT BUUUUURNS!" shouted the demon.
"Wow, Egon, you were right!" said Janine, "Any holy symbol WILL work on these guys!"
"We got him right where we want him!" said Ray as he stood the ghost trap on its side.
Egon fired the proton gun while Ray opened the trap and sucked the demon through with little effort. Afterward, Egon ran over to Janine and hugged her. Janine squeezed back as much as she could. She could do a lot in this situation but she couldn't do everything.
"Oh, Egon!" she said, "I didn't think you'd ever show up in time!"
"Of course I would, Janine," said Egon, "We came here as fast as we could when one of the students contacted me about demonic activity in this neighborhood. Before that, for the entire time that I captured demons, I thought about you and Casey."
"While I was using every last ounce of strength defending Casey, I thought about you, too. Just because you're strong and you have a proton pack doesn't mean that I don't worry."
Egon was calmed by this sentiment while also being on the verge of tears. "That means a lot to me. You're an exemplary coworker and not only because of your work ethic. You're an exemplary person, is what I mean to say." The warmth that Egon felt inside made him jumble his compliment as if it were a chemical reaction. But he didn't care. He lost himself in the good vibes of the moment.
While Egon and Janine were discussing their feelings, a demon slithered down the hallway, silent as a shadow, and made his way into Casey's room.
Ray froze in his sense of alarm, not able to get any words out.
"Ehk… kekeke… ehk…" he said while pointing. He then stopped yammering like an idiot and ran into the direction of Casey's room.
Egon and Janine followed. In that moment of tenderness, Egon very nearly forgot about his baby.
Egon switched on the light in Casey's room. The scraggly, black demon that was perched on the edge of Casey's crib contrasted with the cheeriness of the room. By this point, Casey had stopped crying and the demon was holding him tenderly. The child didn't know any better. For all he knew, this creature was another guardian figure that came along to soothe him.
"There, there, little one," hissed the demon, "Glibbus isn't going to hurt you… right now. But later, you're going to make a delicious stew…"
Glibbus… that was the name of one of the cats at the witch's house, the one that sat on Yasmine's shoulder. It made perfect sense.
But before the demon could turn around, he was met with the hand of a strong woman clutched tightly around his throat.
"Listen here, you punk," said Janine through gritted teeth, "You're messing with the wrong baby, here. THIS baby's mamma was the arm wrestling champion of Anselmo's Steak Shack from 1980 to 1983. Now let go of that baby and I'll let go of your weak, little neck. Capiche?"
"LAAGH… LAAAAAGH!" gagged the demon.
"I said 'Capiche?!'"
The demon nodded and motioned toward the crib to set the baby down. Once he did this, Janine made good on her promise and let go of his neck.
Ray ran over to the changing table and grabbed the bottle of baby powder.
"Think fast!" he said. He squeezed the bottle of power into the demon's face, causing a blinding white cloud.
The demons closed his eyes tight and coughed. However, this did not stop him from escaping the room. He hopped off the side of the crib and tried to run out of the room. After hitting the wall a few times (and apparently forgetting that he could phase through walls), he ran into the hallway and so did Egon, Ray and Janine.
Blasting powder into the demon's eye didn't do any favors for the bedroom walls but it did make it so that he couldn't fly. He galloped out into the street with squinted eyes and even then, Egon had to run as fast as his legs would allow.
They chased the demon down several blocks of debris-laden street until they finally caught up with him. Although Janine couldn't do much of anything in that moment, she wanted to make sure that the creature that was about to use her baby as a recipe ingredient was defeated.
Ray had the trap ready when Egon fired his proton beam. Once the beam hit the demon, he squirmed and screamed.
Yes, got him, thought Egon.
"I have failed Yasmine!" He said. He then said his final statement as he was being sucked into the trap: "I deserve this humiliatioooooon!"
Egon took a good look at the smoldering trap.
"Well, at least he admits it," he said. This capture turned out easier than expected, especially for a witch's familiar.
"Oh my god," said Janine, "That was wild!
"I'm glad you're okay, Janine," said Egon. He put his proton gun back into his holster and walked up to Janine. Although he was not normally fond of closeness, he felt that it was appropriate to hold her close and look into her eyes. The woman was strong and fearless earlier and she no doubt still was, but now she felt safe enough to show at least a little vulnerability. Egon could feel her tremble but holding her close enough stopped that. He took a good look at her to concentrate on the color of her weary eyes: a deep blue ocean captured in tiny amounts twice and placed onto a face.
"I'm glad YOU'RE okay, Egon," she said.
In the end, no matter whether someone was in their pajamas or in a protective suit with expensive equipment, they were still human and they still needed assurance that the other was alive and all right.
"Uh… guys?" said Ray.
"Yes?" said Egon and Janine simultaneously.
"You realize that we left the baby alone again, right?"
Egon broke out of his loving daze when panic surged through him. He simply couldn't forget about the baby and neither could Janine. They ran back to the apartment so fast that the trip blurred in their minds.
They arrived at a rather… interesting scene when they returned to Casey's bedroom. Black feathers and scratches were still strewn on the floor from the previous demon encounter along with the bottle of baby powder that Ray had dropped. However, Casey was no longer in his crib. Now, he was on the changing table, laying flat on his back. A new alp had come into the room and he was perched on the end of the changing table, his sharp talons uncomfortably close to the baby's feet.
Egon remembered the demon guide. He remembered that prank that these demons normally played on babies.
Ray held up his proton gun and charged it up.
"Ray, hold your fire," said Egon. Egon looked at the smirking demon, who stood as still as a gargoyle. "Are you about to play a practical joke on my son?"
"Uh… maybe?" said the demon.
Egon felt the magma of rage bubbling within him. He clutched his fist and curled his toes.
"I ask you again…" he said through gritted teeth, "Are you about to play a practical joke on my son?"
"What's it to you?" asked the demon. It seemed that the New York sass had rubbed off on him after just one night of being here.
Egon tried to cap his eruption by clearing his throat and shaking his head.
"I kindly suggest that you leave this apartment, crawl back to the dark void from which you came and stay there indefinitely. Do you hear me?"
Casey cooed and kicked a little as the demon silently pondered.
"Yes, I hear you," said the demon. He turned around as though he were about to leave by phasing through the wall.
Good, thought Egon. He managed to get through to this creature.
But then, the alp turned back toward Egon.
"Haha, SIKE!" he remarked. Before anybody could say anything, the alp reached into the diaper pail next to the changing table and pulled out a used diaper. After putting the diaper on the table, he used his front talons to unzip Casey's footie pajamas.
"What the hell is he doing?!" asked Janine. "Is he reverse-diaper-changing our kid?!"
Ray looked like he was about to wretch.
"That's EXACTLY what he's doing," said Egon.
Egon didn't know if it was a baser instinct to protect his young or if it was a general annoyance of these mischievous creatures or if it was just a desire for this tedious night to end. Maybe it was all three. Whatever it was, it caused an eruption, a drive to run over to the alp, grab him by the neck and punch him. He didn't even think before he did it. The alp's eyes glowed red and he hissed the entire time that the blows were being struck.
The entire time, the changing table was being violently rocked. Ray swooped in and took the baby before he could get hurt. Ray ran to the other side of the room and quickly zipped the baby's pajamas back up. Casey was too confused at this situation to have any sort of reaction to it. This was all happening so fast.
For Egon, it wasn't enough to just punch the demon. He grabbed the demon's neck, ran to the wall opposite the crib and slammed the demon's body against it repeatedly. Egon didn't care that he was causing just as much damage as any destructive apparition. In his Papa Bear frame of mind, this was completely justified.
WHAM. WHAM. WHAM.
With each slam, Egon felt more exhilarated. Cracks started appearing on the wall that became bigger.
"Egon, stop!" shouted Janine.
By now, the curl on Egon's pompadour became limp and bedraggled from all the exertion.
"What?!" he said.
"Give ME a turn with the son of a bitch!"
Janine grabbed the demon by the neck and continued slamming him into the wall. Her impacts damaged the wall even harder than Egon's.
And Egon couldn't be more proud of her. If he had been a more expressive person, he would have been cheering her on, telling her that she was the greatest mother ever and that The Forces of Nature would tremble before her.
Now that Casey was safe, Ray could interrupt Janine's good time.
"Guys, GUYS!" he said.
Egon snapped out of his happy moment and Janine stopped what she was doing. They both looked at Ray.
"WHAT?!" they said.
"You don't need to do this! We already have the demon where we want him! We just have to throw him into a trap! Are you forgetting that we're ghostbusters and not bodyguards?!"
Alas, he was right. They didn't need to go through all this trouble. The demon twitched as he was being held against the gash in the wall that his body had created.
"Just… put me in the freaking trap!" he interjected, "Put me out of my misery already!"
"All right…" said Egon, "Ray, trap the demon as per the protocol." Egon grabbed the creature by the neck and waited patiently.
Ray tossed the trap into the center of the room, stepped on the pedal and turned around slightly so that he could shield the baby's eyes.
The demon did not even put up a fight. In fact, he was glad that he was finally being trapped.
"It was just a praaaaank!" He shouted. The trap closed and let off its usual steam.
"HA," said Egon in his triumph, "Nobody lays a claw on my progeny."
"To be fair," said Ray, "It wasn't like he was going to eat your child or anythi-"
"I said, 'NOBODY lays a CLAW on my PROGENY."
"Okay, okay."
Egon looked around the room. All of that mayhem meant that the room needed to be cleaned up and rearranged but that was pretty usual after a ghost busting. What mattered in this situation was that Janine, Casey and Ray were safe. Oh, and himself, too.
"Ray," said Egon, "I'm going to patrol the city for any more demonic activity. You scan this room for ectoplasmic residue and clean it up with the wipes to ensure that this is a safe environment once more." Egon gave Ray a pack of wipes from one of his pockets before heading out of the room.
Ray stood there with the wipes in one hand and the baby in the other arm as Egon left the apartment. Janine took the baby out of Ray's arms and held him tight. As she was comforting him, he was still staring out into space, trying to comprehend what had just happened.
"Oh my GOD, I'm so glad you're okay, Sweetie," she said, "This goes to show you that Mommy and Daddy will do ANYTHING to ensure that you're safe and sound." She then looked at Ray. "And Uncle Ray, too!"
Janine took a closer look at Casey to gauge how he was feeling. He was safe and healthy but also wide awake from all of the commotion.
"You look so tense, Chickpea," she said, "How about we give you a bath with that lavender baby soap? You'd like that, wouldn't you?" The now-calm Janine smiled and walked out of the room with Casey, leaving Ray to his work.
Ray lowered his special goggles onto his face and waved around the Spengler wand in order to find traces of ectoplasmic activity. He wiped down the bars of the crib and the parts of the changing table where the demon perched himself, keeping calm while doing it.
But then he winced when he approached the dirty diaper that the demon had left on the changing table. Oh well. He already knew this job wasn't easy. He took out a pair of tongs from his jumpsuit and used them to grab the diaper.
"Uggh…" he said as he put it back into the pail, "Yuck…"