1970 Somethin'

by Killaurey

Regulus Black is going into his 5th year at Hogwarts. Quidditch Captain. Prefect. Literally the guy of Ino's dreams. Voldemort's still handsome but Farrah Fawcett's hair is, like, way better. Regulus doesn't disagree but he really wishes Ino hadn't felt the need to say that to The Dark Lord's face. And no, he's not quite sure how they got here either. It's 1970 somethin'.

1. Send In The Clowns

Title: 1970 Somethin'
Chapter: 01 – Send In The Clowns
Author: Killaurey
Rating: T
Word Count: 14,913
Notes: Written for Unconventional Courtship 2023 and based on the summary of the Mills & Boon book The Ninefold Key by Rebecca Brandewyne. Title comes from Mark Wills' song 19' Something. Disclaimer: I don't own either Harry Potter or Naruto. I just play with them. Part 1 of ? Beta'd by puffinmuffin.
Summary: Regulus Black is going into his 5th year at Hogwarts. Quidditch Captain. Prefect. Literally the guy of Ino's dreams. Dumbledore is more interested in Elvis than fighting the war looming on Wizarding Britain's horizon. Voldemort's still handsome but Farrah Fawcett's hair is, like, way better.

Regulus doesn't disagree but he really wishes Ino hadn't felt the need to say that to The Dark Lord's face.

And no, no he's not quite sure how they got to this point either.

It's 1970 somethin'.

---

July 1st

Can you get Stockholm Syndrome from a dream?

Because as the dream starts, again, like it has for as long as she can remember—and, okay, at fifteen that sounds less impressive than it would be if she were older but at fifteen: fifteen is a long time—and part of Ino is relieved when it does.

Yeah, sure, sure, it's mostly a nightmare, what with the ominous blackness of it, the handsome boy she doesn't recognize, and the feeling of impending, encroaching doom.

But it's her nightmare and even as dream!her argues with the boy, in words she can't make out, Ino finds the sameness of it all comforting. It probably is Stockholm Syndrome.

The boy puts his hands on her shoulders. He's taller than her, with dark hair gone wild in the wind, and pale eyes. He's wearing robes, which tells her he's a wizard, but also tells her that he's not from anywhere near Japan.

Despite her best efforts to learn, lip-reading is still a work in progress for Ino (and it's so frustrating because, to learn it, she can't use her bloodline and that's a complicated thing) but she's been through this often enough to be almost certain that the boy, almost a man, really, given that he's around her age, is saying:

"I'm not going without you."

Which, even though she doesn't know the background, Ino (both her watching and the dream version of her) accept this as the right answer. Some of the fight goes out of dream!Ino and the scene changes, breaks up, and they're running through a long corridor, he's got his wand out (definitely not how they do magic in Japan), the tip of it glowing torch-light orange, while she has her hands free—but Ino knows herself and dream!her is ready to fling a jutsu at a second's notice. Dangling from a chain around her neck, a key glitters.

Something like soot, black and ugly, smears down the pane of the glass through which she views the scene and Ino wakes up screaming.

That, too, is absurdly normal.

---

Later that morning, not that Sakura knows there's anything to be a later to, Sakura eyeballs Ino's expression as they hit the door to the hospital at the same time with a deep sense of foreboding.

Ino looks… she looks…

Out of sorts.

"Oh, god, what is it now?"

"I can feel your concern," Ino says sarcastically.

"Yeah, yeah," Sakura retorts. "Tell me anyway, Pig."

"Forehead."

"Ino…"

"Dad's plotting something," Ino mutters to Sakura as they sign into the hospital for their lessons on chakra healing. "He had that look in his eyes when I got up this morning and he had a bunch of books and scrolls out that had privacy jutsu on them so strong my eyes watered just being in the same room as them."

Sakura rolls her eyes. "He's always plotting something. That's his whole thing, isn't it?"

"True," Ino admits. "But I think he's plotting something about me."

"That's also not super unusual," Sakura says slowly, carefully, because Ino is sometimes touchy about that sort of thing. Imagine that, having a father who loves her enough to plot for her. Sakura can't relate. "But you're edgy about it why?"

Ino gives that an actual bit of thought, some of the peevish discontent fading from her expression.

"I'm not sure," Ino eventually admits. "It's just… it feels different, if you get me? Not like when he's planning training or setting up something between us and the Akimichi and Nara Clans. It feels more personal, somehow. Almost like…"

But Ino trails off and doesn't finish her sentence.

Sakura studies her best friend's expression and decides not to push, pondering instead what Ino did give her as an answer as they walk down the hallway to Tsunade-shishou's training room.

"Well," she says, "I don't know what to tell you but, whatever it is, I know you've got it covered."

"Thanks," Ino says, a touch dryly. "At least someone believes in me."

Sakura grimaces slightly. She sees how Ino would have made the leap to—to that, though she hadn't meant to reference it, was usually more careful about it. The whole thing with Sasuke running off and Shikamaru choosing only boys for the retrieval team stands between them in ugly silence. It's been almost a year since then and the boys–

Well.

If they ever noticed any of the girls had had a problem with that, they haven't given any sign of it.

Orders being orders and missions being missions, Ino never threw a fit about it where anyone would hear, but she, Hinata, and Tenten… well. They all know. They all have feelings about it. Complicated, ugly feelings about it.

I'd already failed once, Hinata had an injury to her heart, Sakura knows these facts like the back of her hand. It doesn't take the sting away, especially when… But Ino and Tenten were both fine and they're both extremely talented. Ino's whole thing is reconnaissance even and given the results, they desperately had needed someone who was good at intel gathering… I really don't know why they didn't take her. Why Shikamaru didn't take her…

"Who knows? Either they're working hard on pretending to be oblivious about our feelings," Ino says, "or they're attempting to dethrone Naruto for actual stupidity. Whatever. It's not important. I'll get over it."

But not forget it. None of the four of them have. It's there in every day when they train. When they run missions. When they hang out in a group, the ten of them left in the village, all in various permutations.

"Whatever," Ino says, and Sakura knows she's been following her thoughts.

"If you need me," Sakura says. "You know where to find me."

Ino's smile is brief but lights her face up. "Yeah, that's true. Come on, let's see what Tsunade-shishou is going to drill us on today."

---

July 8th

They're left in suspense for about a week.

Well. That 'we' is pretty generous. It's really just that…

Ino is.

Sakura mostly spends her time face down in her medical books studying her ass off because Ino might be training to be a field medic to help out in an emergency but Sakura—Sakura wants to be a medical ninja in all of its entirety and her training is much more complicated and in-depth.

But Sakura makes all the right noises to soothe her best friend when she needs it and puts up with the way Ino drapes herself over the back of her shoulders like living lichen and… well, mostly, she is ferociously glad that she has this and cuddles their closeness to the depths of her heart.

It doesn't take away all the shit that went down with Sasuke and Naruto or the way that Kakashi-sensei has had nothing to do with her for a year but… it's nice to know that her best friend sticks around.

If it's an aberration, Sakura will fight the gods themselves to keep it this way. She needs someone in her corner and Ino has proven that she plans to set up a permanent residence there.

And I'll help her build the blanket fort, if she wants to, Sakura admits to herself. Embarrassing, but true.

There's no indication, not even the slightest hint of feet pounding up the stairs but then—

"Oh my god," Ino says, bursting through the door of Sakura's bedroom. A scroll is clutched in her hand. "Sakura! You won't believe this!"

Sakura takes a moment to judge Ino's expression. Her eyes are bright, her face is flushed, and whatever the news is, it's good news because Ino is excited rather than dismayed. That's all the time she's got to think before Ino tackles her and they both land with an oof on Sakura's bed.

"Ino!" she shrieks. In retaliation, she goes for Ino's bare sides. Ino's midriff top might look awfully cute (and it does) but it has a huge, glaring weakness when it comes to tickling. "You'll pay for that!"

They shriek and flail and giggle until both their sides are sore and it's only then that Sakura realizes her parents must've stepped out because there's no way they'd have let her get away with acting like such a kid and disturbing their peace if they were home.

"What's the news you wanted to tell me?" she asks, pushing those thoughts aside. "And shove over. That's my pillow you're hogging."

"It's a good pillow," Ino says. "Maybe I'll keep it."

"I know where you live," Sakura points out. "Don't even. That'd be the least profitable theft ever."

"Well…"

"I can tell you where I bought it," Sakura says exasperatedly, which makes Ino laugh. "What's your news?"

Ino shoves the scroll at her. It's a bit crumpled, after their playing, but Sakura has equal blame for that, so she shuts up and doesn't whine about Ino's disregard for paper (Ino is the kind of person that writes in the margins of her textbooks; it's tragic) and instead just reads it.

Then squints at it.

"... Why is this in English?" Sakura asks, scowling.

"Telling you would be a spoiler," Ino sing-songs.

Sakura hits her.

Ino yelps, then laughs. "Just read it!"

"Ugh!" Sakura considers smacking Ino again but since Ino has a mean right hook when provoked, Sakura puts that on the back burner for now and she marshals up her rusty language skills and tries to read it again.

…

She's a little embarrassed at how much effort it takes to get through it.

Ino's good about not teasing her when it actually matters, though, and all Ino does is wait patiently, which really tells Sakura that it's important because Ino is only patient and quiet for the important things.

"Um." Sakura rubs the bridge of her nose. Then glances over the English letter again. "What absolute idiot decided to make you some kind of an envoy to a different country?"

Had she gotten that right?

"I'm telling my dad and Tsunade-shishou that you said that about their judgment," Ino says loftily, which tells Sakura that yes, yes she had indeed gotten that right. The loftiness falls away for sheer excitement, though, as Ino continues chattering. "Besides, look, there's my name and a blank space. You want to come along? Dad said I could ask whoever I wanted and, like, if I'm going to be a million countries away amongst stuffy old Englishmen then I wasn't going to take anyone else. And it's a school exchange! We'd be transfer students! You'd be learning loads! I bet you could study English medicine and then come back and revolutionize the field here!"

Terror grips Sakura's heart. "But I'm training with Tsunade-shishou! And she's already legendary! I can't revolutionize the revolution! I'm just starting!"

"It's too bad we're not going to Beauxbatons," Ino sighs, as if she hadn't heard her. "Then we'd be able to go to Paris."

Sakura pauses.

Like. She's not stupid. She knows damn well that this is a manipulation technique. It really shouldn't work on her.

Then, carefully, she says, "England isn't that far from Paris, right?"

Because Paris? Paris is the dream of any good Japanese girl, whether or not they are civilian or ninja. Because it is Paris.

Asking that, though, isn't like she's planning on saying yes to going or anything…

But Paris. The Eiffel Tower. In the City of Romance.

"Apparently they go through fireplaces in England," Ino says. "The 'Floo' Network. So, it'd be as easy as walking through a door, wouldn't it? Bit wild that people just walk through fireplaces like it's nothing though, imagine that! Imagine needing fireplaces in the first place!"

They didn't really use them in Japan.

"Where even is this school?" Sakura wonders. "And what sort of name is 'Hogwarts?'"

"A silly one," Ino admits. "But maybe it got lost in translation?"

That's a fair point.

"I didn't say I'm going," Sakura adds, after a moment.

Ino hums. "Don't forget to ask your parents. Well. Your mom. Let's not rile your matriarch before we even leave. She's riled enough on a good day."

Yeah, okay, she's totally going.

"Just shut up," Sakura says haughtily.

Ino laughs.

---

July 9th

Ino does not break it to her team gently.

There's really no point when dealing with Shikamaru and Chouji about beating around the bush. Shikamaru would see through it and get annoyed at the whole 'wasting his time' sort of thing 'just say what you want to say' he'd say, though he gets grumpy when people do, which Ino always feels is inconsiderate.

Why ask for something when he doesn't really want it anyway? Boys are so weird. Her Stockholm Syndrome dream boy, she's certain, would make way more sense.

Chouji, on the other hand, just tends to ignore the things that he doesn't want to hear which means being gentle about it is… a really good way to blindside him and then he's mad and it's just really not worth the hassle.

"I've got a long-term mission in England," Ino announces without preamble once she's sauntered up to her team who, well, they're not doing a whole lot of training. Shikamaru's playing shougi with Asuma-sensei and Chouji's eating chips and watching them.

She is as exasperated as she is fond of all three of them.

"I'll be leaving on the fifteenth of August. Dad and Tsunade-shishou have made all the arrangements."

Asuma-sensei looks at her with betrayal on his face. He knows that she knows that he knows that he can't gainsay her dad, the Head of Intelligence, and the Hokage, about something like this. She also knows he doesn't want to be the sole person wrangling Shikamaru and Chouji into proper usefulness.

Which.

She cannot blame him. It's a herculean task even for her.

Shikamaru might be a Chuunin and the whole Thing with the boys' team of Epic Fail might've made him and Chouji take their training a bit more seriously but—they're both still prone to being lazy like it's a competitive sport.

"You're leaving the country?!" Chouji says, which gets Shikamaru to look up from his shougi board with a frown.

"Why would you want to do something like that?" Shikamaru asks.

"Mission," she says brightly. "Sakura and I are going as a team."

"Heaven help your enemies," Shikamaru mutters. "And your allies."

"Sakura and I have a sisterly bond that's unbreakable," Ino retorts. "I don't accept your attempt at—"

"Ino," Chouji interrupts, looking pained, "please. It's the truth. You remember those missions out in Ame, right? You and Sakura are a force of nature and that nature is terrifying."

"We're also lovely, charming, intelligent young ladies," Ino says loftily, though she doesn't actually mind being called a terrifying force of nature. It's a lovely compliment. "And our English is the best of our peers."

Ino is being really generous there. Sakura's English is pretty shaky sometimes but, like, Sakura will fix that no problem. Ino has faith in her. And Ino's own English is excellent. They'll be fine.

Besides, it's kind of nice to have this mission when the boys don't get to even try for it. It's like bringing some parity back to the gender balance after the whole fiasco with Sasuke.

(Ino knows that this thought is petty and unkind and doesn't give a damn. She hasn't been airing her grievances to the boys. She's allowed to think things.)

After some more back and forthing–Chouji is mollified with the promise of her sending him some English candy, Shikamaru is vaguely curious about getting a book on chess but still thinks it will all be a disaster with her in charge (which, rude, and she tells him so), and Asuma-sensei chain smokes five cigarettes and then has the nerve to tell her to look after her health–Ino swans off and onto the next group of people she's breaking the news to.

She picks up Sakura on the way.

---

They find Hinata and Tenten training together. Hinata's working on weapon deflection and Tenten is working on her aim against a mobile opponent. They're both pretty good, so it's fun to watch them and, well, she's not going to interrupt people who are actually training.

Ino and Sakura smartly take seats next to Hinata and Tenten's water bottles and towels and review the list of things they think they might need in the wilds of England.

Or, you know, Paris.

Ino regrets nothing as Sakura rhapsodizes about getting to see the Eiffel Tower in person and maybe even eat at the restaurant up in it. Since Ino is all about that and maybe finding a cute boy to kiss a bit (France, apparently, has a surplus of attractive, easy young men) she nods along and hopes that getting to Paris is really as easy as the brochure she'd found tucked under her pillow when she'd woken up that morning (screaming, again, her usual morning routine) had made it sound.

Or that this Hogwarts has a lot of cute boys who're up for some kissing. Sakura's cute. She could totally fall wildly in love with a dashing Englishman and forget all about the fact that Ino bribed her with dubious suppositions about Paris.

And Ino wouldn't say no to a dashing Englishman of her own, either, though it feels weirdly like betrayal when she's already terribly attached to the guy in her dreams.

Maybe I'll meet him at Hogwarts? It would be, like, FATE then.

This is a pleasant fantasy with a verdant breeding ground for daydreams, even if it is more likely that supposing he does exist, that he has no idea she exists and might not even like her.

That's a deeply frustrating thought, one that makes her very heart ache unaccountably, and – "Ugh!"

Sakura looks offended.

Ino holds her hands up. "Sorry, sorry, I was thinking about dashing Englishmen."

Sakura's offense morphs into confusion. "What's wrong with dashing Englishmen? Why are we 'ugh-ing' them?"

Ino sighs. She doesn't want to mention her very specific dashing maybe-not-even-an-Englishman, so she goes for generalities. "What if they don't like us?"

"Um, like, that's not going to happen," Sakura says, which is deeply reassuring even though Ino had known Sakura would say that. "Have you seen how cute we are?"

Ino also takes deep comfort, and more than a little pride, in that Sakura includes herself in that 'we'. It had taken years of working on her self-esteem for that sort of thing and now it comes out almost casually. Ino's so proud of her that she could burst.

"I guess," Ino says, because it's still really a bit unsettling to think her dream guy, literally, might actually exist and then have the devastating nerve to not like her.

"Nuh huh," Sakura says, leaning in close, until their noses are almost touching. "No brooding. We're going to have fun."

"What kind of mission is considered fun?" Tenten asks as she flops down next to them and drinks half her water bottle in one go. "Are we invited?"

"A-An all girls mission?" Hinata asks, with just the teeniest stutter and Ino feels deeply, unbearably fond of all of them.

And also like this could easily spiral out of control. Ino wonders if her dad would let her take Hinata and Tenten with her too. The paperwork had only suggested one other person but, like…

Because, like, just imagine the chaos they could do.

"Ino and I have a mission that involves us going on a school exchange in England," Sakura shares.

Then, because if Ino is anything, it is an agent of chaos and whimsy: "I could see if my dad could get you two included too? No promises or anything but, like, you know. If you wanted, we could always try."

It's a terrible idea and has a low chance of success but it's totally worth the suggestion for the way Sakura lights up like a firecracker with delight and how Tenten and Hinata both look very intrigued at the idea.

Okay, so Hinata also looks a little worried but that's really… just… Hinata.

"Ohmygosh yes," Sakura says.

"I want in," Tenten says immediately. "Ask, please? Us low ranking peons don't get international missions like ever."

They all look at Hinata.

She flushes deeply. "M-My English isn't very… good…"

"I'll ask for both of you," Ino declares even as Sakura assures Hinata that her English isn't great either and now they can be study buddies.

"How's your English?" Ino asks Tenten as Sakura pulls out a schedule and starts to ask Hinata on her timetable.

Tenten grins at her. "It's great," she says, in what sounds like flawless English to Ino. "My mom's from Seattle, in the United States, so I've grown up with it. It's not the same as British English but it's close enough to pass."

"You're half-American? Why didn't I know that?" Ino asks, also in English.

Tenten shrugs. "Get better at snooping."

"That sounds like you're declaring an open invitation for me to invade your mind," Ino points out. "That's kind of risky, isn't it?"

"Nah," Tenten decides, after a second's consideration. "You know what's important to not talk about. It's all good."

"I do reiterate that my dad and Tsunade-shishou might say no," Ino says, switching back to Japanese because Hinata probably should get the reminder too. "This could be a dream made derelict before it ever gets properly going."

"Shhh," Sakura says, her green eyes beseeching. "Don't ruin it. Just make it happen. Please?"

Ino heaves an absolutely incredible sigh and, yeah, still doesn't feel the least bit sorry for the suggestion. Or the fact that she's going to have to figure out how to make this happen.

---

She presents her case earnestly to her dad over dinner that night and, strategically, after he's had a beer and a half.

This amount is very carefully decided upon because she'd never try to do this while he was inebriated because a) she'd die when he sobered up and b) she respects him far too much, but a beer and a half is just enough to make him relax a smidgen and Ino feels that a slightly relaxed version of her dad is better to wheedle enormous concessions out of than the super stressed version of him that comes home each night when he's in the village.

He listens to her with a level of fond bemusement on his face, one hand cradling his beer.

"And, so, it's really better for it to be a four-man squad since we're all Genin and it's best if we're all girls because it's going to be a boarding school and there's places where boys just can't go."

This is a very flimsy argument because, by her own logic, it would be better to have two boys on the team so they could cover all areas of everything.

Ino skirts right past that fact and ignores it since it's not useful to her.

"Ino."

She straightens her back a little. "Yes, Daddy?"

Yamanaka Inoichi is quiet for a long, agonizing minute. (She knows; she counts the seconds.)

Then he says: "Wait until Tsunade-sama is good and drunk and then challenge her at some form of gambling. If she wins, none of you are going."

This… this is fair. Tsunade-shishou is the Legendary Loser. If she starts winning, then shit is going to hit the fan and quickly.

Ino bounces a little. "But…"

"But if she loses, hold her to it."

"YES!" Ino crows. "You're the best, Dad!"

"Don't tell Shizune I recommended this course of action."

"My lips are sealed," she promises, then goes and fetches him some sake since he deserves better than beer after that.

---

July 10th

The next evening, Team Awesome meets up in Tenten's bedroom. Tenten's dad pretends he doesn't notice them, though sometimes he'll peek through the slats of Tenten's rickety door to make sure they're all still there, and her mom laughs and says she's always wanted more kids.

Tenten's is by far the easiest place to randomly congregate. Hinata's is a total no-go, Ino loves her dad ferociously but, also, he reads minds and he's actually kind of terrible at keeping his nose out of her and her friends' business, and Sakura's parents…

They're… a total no for almost the same reason as Hinata's though in different ways. They don't talk about it, they all just know to not go hang out there.

Ino goes there sometimes by herself but, like, even then she tries to time it for when Sakura's parents aren't around.

As soon as the four of them, Team Awesome themselves, take their seats and have broken into their snacks, Ino spills the beans on what her dad had said.

"You're kidding," Sakura says, all wide-eyed. "He said yes? Just like that?"

Tenten throws her arms up and cheers. "We're going to England!"

"Tsunade-sama hasn't approved yet!" Hinata says, pointing out the really important thing before they can truly get a party going. "Ino-san's dad agreeing is important but…"

"But you're right," Ino says, and then, with relish, tells them what her dad had said to do.

There's a long moment of shocked silence as they contemplate Yamanaka Inoichi's audacity. Getting their Hokage drunk is—

Is wow.

"It's going to have to be Sakura," Tenten says. Ino has eaten three sticks of pocky before anyone has said anything. It's honestly kind of amazing. "She's the only one of us that spends enough time with Tsunade-sama to make it look even a little natural to go with her to a bar."

"I don't drink!" Sakura protests. "Ino trains with her too!"

"Yeah, but I'm like the pity student," Ino says easily, knowing this is true and also not really caring about it. "You're her faaaaaaaaaaaave."

"I hate you," Sakura says. "I hate you and you and you."

"Sakura," Ino says, smiling as she leans back on a cushion. "Paris. Focus."

"We get to go to Paris too?!" Tenten yelps. "We need to go shopping."

"We need to get approval first," Hinata insists and it's really super adorable that she's into this enough that she's not stuttering and is asserting herself. "Sakura, you can do this."

Sakura turns panicked eyes to Ino. They're green and glossy and disgustingly perfect. Ino really doesn't know how anyone thinks Sakura is anything but awesome. If she were a man, she'd totally date Sakura.

Ino smiles encouragingly. "You've got this."

Sakura takes a deep breath. In. Out. Then again. "I've got this." Then, plaintively, she adds: "But can I have backup?"

"You can have all the backup you need," Tenten says affectionately. "We'll handle all the little things so you can focus on netting us the best mission ever. No pressure."

The meeting, at that point, devolves into a pillow fight that only ends when Hinata sneezes and her pillow explodes into a veritable storm of feathers and Tenten's mom is super cool and all but, yeah, she makes them clean all that up.

And then, since there's no time like the present, they spill out into the night to locate Tsunade-sama.

As Sakura says: "I might as well get it over with."

Which. Like.

Ino cannot really disagree with.

---

"So, what even is the real mission of this?" Tenten asks as she and Ino take their seat on a rooftop across from the bar that the Legendary Loser is apparently in. "Is it really just to go to school in a foreign country, make friends with hot people, and expand our horizons?"

Down below, Hinata has already slipped inside the bar. Sakura is gearing herself up to do the same but less unobtrusively.

Ino hums. "So far, that's all I know about it," she says. "But I think Dad's got, you know, plans within plans. We'll probably find out once we're enroute. All the better for secrecy, you know?"

Their feet dangle off the rooftop and Ino wiggles her toes at some civilian that gives them a disapproving look. Probably for being so young and yet so obviously hanging around outside of a bar. Civilians are so touchy about that sort of thing.

"My dad still thinks this whole thing is some weird, elaborate joke," Tenten says. "Like, the whole England and Paris thing being something real. It doesn't feel quite real. Not yet."

Ino considers pointing out that it's not quite real for Hinata and Tenten yet but doesn't because a) that would be super rude and b) she has complete faith that Sakura is going to win this bet against Tsunade-shishou.

So even if it isn't real now, it will be.

"And your mom?" Ino asks.

Tenten laughs. "Mom's already making sure I've got my passport in order and has been rummaging around to see about suitcases. I tried telling her we can just pack most everything in scrolls but she scoffed at me and ignored that. I think she's almost more excited than I am. She's always been a huge fan of travel."

"My dad hasn't been around a whole lot," Ino admits. "But I think that he's doing that for, like, plausible deniability more than anything. I keep finding brochures and stuff in my bedroom, but he hasn't said it's him doing it."

"That's pretty sweet," Tenten decides.

"Yeah, he's definitely more of a sweet dad than a salty one when it comes to me," Ino agrees, then leans forward. "Look, Sakura's going in!"

"Yes! Go, Sakura!"

Sakura gives no outward sign of having heard them but Ino can hear her exasperation. It's pretty great.

Less great is the whole waiting thing but it's too risky for all four of them to go in and while Ino is absolute aces at being a human cockroach and getting into (and surviving) shit she's not supposed to be into, Tsunade-shishou knows her and this can't come from her.

Beside her, Tenten sighs.

Ino casts a sidelong glance at her. That had been a wanting sigh. Possibly an 'I'm bored' sigh which Ino totally gets. "What is it?"

"It's just," Tenten says, "we don't even have drinks up here."

Ino pauses. Considers this.

They still can't go into the same bar that Sakura and Hinata have gone into but, like…

"Sakura said she doesn't drink," Ino says casually. "But what about you?"

It's not like they'd be getting drunk.

"So long as I don't do it around Lee, it's all good," Tenten says, with a grin. "Ino, what are you saying?"

"I'm just saying that you see the place three down, the one with the red shutters? And the funny doodle of a man with his poodle?" Ino points even though her description is totally, er, on point. "They make the best boozy smoothies."

"And fruit is healthy," Tenten says brightly, absolutely picking up what Ino was putting down. "No one could blame us for getting our daily servings of fruit. I'll be right back."

Then Tenten jumps off the roof.

"I like the mango peach!" Ino calls down after her, which gets her a wave.

In short order, Tenten is back with both their smoothies and little cake bites that, while not-boozy, are desperately chocolately and just as delicious as their smoothies.

"What flavour did you get?"

"Watermelon Cascade," Tenten says, glancing into hers thoughtfully. It's a bright shade of pink that's really more bubblegum than anything close to watermelon's red. "Whatever that means. It's good though."

"And that's all that matters," Ino says, sipping her mango peach and whipped cream disaster. "Sakura's engaged Tsunade-shishou. Tsunade-shishou hasn't thought this weird but Shizune-san sure has."

Shizune-san is the true end-game boss here. Tsunade-shishou might have final control over the decision but, like, Shizune-san is the sober, serious, and thoughtful one of the two of them and also the one that keeps Tsunade-shishou on track. Ish.

She tries really hard.

Ino shares that thought with Tenten, who grimaces. "Do we have a plan to deal with that?"

"Noooot really a plan," Ino says, "but I maybe told Hinata to spill some sake on Shizune and make it look like an accident. Hinata's sneakier than people give her credit for. She won't let us down."

"That's a pretty laissez-faire way of going about this," Tenten says, glancing at her. "For someone with your reputation for sneaky, I'd have expected something more elaborate."

"Ooooh, French. You're so fancy." Ino waves that off. "The more elaborate you make something, the more likely it is to fail."

It takes Sakura another half hour and Hinata does wind up dousing Shizune but–

Sakura doesn't fail.

Somehow, Sakura even gets it in writing.

---

July 11th

They're called to Tsunade-sama's office the next day, the four of them lining up in front of the desk and the woman behind it.

Ino doesn't smirk at how Tsunade-sama is suuuper hungover but she notices it.

Tsunade-sama eyes them all blearily for a long, long few minutes. Shizune, in the corner, glowers at them suspiciously.

"I'm not even going to ask why the exchange has turned into this," Tsunade-sama says. "Shinobi might break contracts all the time but I made that wager in good faith."

Sakura brightens. "So we all get to go?"

Shizune makes a noise of protest that fades when Tsunade-sama looks at her.

"Yes," Tsunade-sama says dryly. "You all get to go. You've got until the first of August to get me your requisition slips for mission supplies you can't buy yourselves. If you can source it yourself, there's a stipend. If it's some nonsense, you pay for it yourself."

Hinata's fingers are curled around the cuffs of her too-long coat sleeves. "A-Ano, Hokage-sama, what is the mission?"

For some reason, this just makes Tsunade-sama laugh. She doesn't bother answering them, just dismisses them, still laughing, loud enough that they can hear her even once the door shuts behind them.

They exchange glances outside the door.

"Well," Ino says optimistically, "it won't be boring, at least?"

---

That night, Hinata is in a pensive mood as she slips inside her family's Main House. It's late and most of the lanterns have been allowed to burn down to sooty embers, but people are still awake.

People, including her father, who Hinata realizes she will have to tell about the mission.

The at-least-a-year-long mission.

She'll have the break the news to Kurenai-sensei and Kiba and Shino too but, while they'll be sad that she'll be going, she knows they'll be happy she's getting the opportunity to do so. It's, as Sakura says, a huge deal.

It's been a long time since the last student exchange—Tenten had dragged the rest of them to the shinobi library to look it up that afternoon—and getting to go had, once upon a time, been an incredible honour.

The sound of feet pound on the floor. "Hinata!"

She smiles faintly before turning to look at her younger sister, who gets a more genuine smile. Hinata isn't surprised that she hadn't even reached her bedroom before being accosted. She'd expected it.

"Hanabi," she says.

Hanabi comes to a running stop, inches from her, and looks up at her. "Father wants to see you," Hanabi announces. "Right away."

Like the leader of a sect, though Hinata tucks that thought away, deep down, because it's not something she's supposed to think about her family.

Family shouldn't be treated like a cult.

And yet…

Well. No time for that.

"Alright," Hinata says calmly. Inwardly, she quakes, but she can put on a facsimile of serenity. "Where is he?"

"In the garden," Hanabi says, reaching out and grabbing her sleeve. "Come on, I'll show you. What have you done now?"

"I have a mission," Hinata replies, allowing her sister to tug her along. She breathes a little easier. The garden. That's… that's where their mother had spent a lot of time. It's far better than him wanting her to meet him on a training field or in his office.

"That's all?" Hanabi sounds disappointed. Then—"But why would you have to talk about a mission with Father?"

Hinata considers what to say to that. When she was with the other girls, mostly it had seemed to be just a great, good time of things, an adventure, as Ino would say, and Hinata…

I want to go on this adventure with them. I know it'll be strange and scary and it's likely to be very chaotic but…

But she thinks of the way Ino had cheerfully plotted to add her and Tenten with little concern to the hassle it would be causing other people. The way Sakura insists they'll be the best study buddies to get their English up to par. How Tenten had enthused about it, where her parents could hear, before it was even a done thing.

How she, herself, had poured a bottle of sake on Shizune-san to distract her from watching Sakura.

And how there's already been just so much laughter.

"Because it's a very special mission," Hinata says, which it is. For a lot of reasons that have nothing to do with the way Hokage-sama had not answered what their actual mission parameters were. "And a very great honour for the Clan."

This is the truth.

With that, she knows just what to say to her father and it's a strange feeling, knowing in advance how she wants to face the badger in its sett.

But… it's… nice. Having a plan. Not being only scared.

Not even the sight of Neji sitting with her father knocks the soft calmness from her.

"I've brought Hinata," Hanabi announces.

Hinata murmurs her greetings, politely as she should, and braces herself for the rest of the conversation.

It will be long, and ugly, and hurtful, but she wants this and Hinata is no longer scared to put herself out there when she wants things badly enough.

It's never easy, it's never simple, but she knows she can do it.

And…

I want this.

So there's no way she can lose.

---

Tenten swans into her home to find her mom drinking coffee even though the sun has long since gone down and her dad is making French Toast, something he only does on special occasions because he considers that much sugar in a meal to be the bane of any good shinobi's existence.

This definitely qualifies as a special occasion.

"So?" her mom says eagerly.

Tenten beams at them. "I'm going! Officially!"

Her mom squeals and launches herself up for a hug that squashes the breath out of her and her dad high-fives her with a, "That's my girl!"

"We're going to have so much fun getting you ready for this," her mom says, arms still wrapped around her. Tenten leans into the embrace. "It's you, Hinata-chan, Sakura-chan, and Ino-chan, right? All of you are going?"

"That's right," Tenten affirms and, knowing the next question, she preempts it by adding: "Ino's as fluent in English as I am. Sakura and Hinata are going to need help."

"I'll do it," her mom says immediately. "Those poor, shy girls are going to be so embarrassed if they can't speak up without the fear of people making fun of them."

Tenten thinks about how those 'poor, shy girls' had conned Tsunade-sama into this whole thing and gotten away with it. Then mentally shrugs. Sakura and Hinata are on their way to being most excellent ninja but, yeah, she supposes that compared to her and Ino, they're still the shy girls.

"I'll let them know," Tenten says.

"But tonight," her dad says. "Tonight is about celebrating Tenten, Mary."

"Of course it is," her mom says, kisses her forehead.

"Mom!"

Both her parents laugh and, after a moment, Tenten laughs too. It'll be a long, sleepless night but a joyous one for this family.

---

Sakura's not dumb. She knows why Ino cheerfully waves Hinata and Tenten off in the directions of their homes and then just oh so casually happens to tag along with her on the way back to the Haruno household.

"I don't need you to protect me," she says, though it comes out fondly rather than irritated. Sakura doesn't actually mind the way that Ino is mother-henning her. It's rather sweet.

Ino stretches like a cat, reaching her hands up to the sky, like she'd try and grab the moon if Sakura wanted it. She doesn't bother answering Sakura.

"No, really," Sakura says. "I can handle this conversation."

That gets Ino to look at her. In the streetlights, Ino's eyes glitter. "I know you can," she says. "And I'll go if you really want me to. But we both know your feelings are going to get hurt tonight."

Sakura takes a deep breath. She hears the sentence that Ino doesn't say: her parents aren't going to be proud of her.

She knows this. Ino knows this. It makes her feel like all the pieces of her are going to skitter, jitter apart.

"I—"

She doesn't know what to say.

Just the idea of going to face her parents and tell them she's going on an extended, very long-term mission with no particular end date, and know that they won't care about what an honour it is… takes some of the shine off of it.

Ino tugs her over to the side of the street, so they're out of the way of other travellers, and studies her for a long moment in silence.

Then:

"Do you need to tell them?" Ino asks abruptly, as if she's made up her mind about something.

Sakura blinks. Then thinks about it, trying to guess where Ino is going with this. "I mean… legally… as a shinobi and with them as civilians… I don't think so? But, also, I still live with them, Ino."

And they're her parents.

But she… she doesn't say that. Ino knows how her family is. There are definitely worse families out there but that doesn't mean hers is very good.

"So, like, don't tell them," Ino says, like it's just that simple.

"They will notice when I'm gone," Sakura points out.

Ino grins at her. "Not if you move out beforehand."

Sakura gapes at her. "What?!"

"You heard me."

"Where would I go?! I'm still a Genin! My stipend for training doesn't go very far! How would I afford to live by myself?" Sakura narrows her eyes because Ino is just waiting, smiling. "What have you done?"

"I haven't done anything!" Ino protests, though she looks pleased at the accusation. "It's just, like, we've got a spare room at my place and Dad wouldn't go for it if we were going to be in the village all the time but, like, I checked with him a few minutes ago and he says you're very welcome to stay with us for the next few weeks and for whenever we get to come back on visits and breaks and stuff like that."

I checked with him a few minutes ago.

Ino had been with her, but quiet, a few minutes ago. The Yamanaka Clan's abilities were always a little weird to Sakura but, she can't deny, that they were also super amazing.

"I—"

It's extremely high-handed of Ino. Also terribly invasive of her, to meddle in Sakura's family affairs this way. To just go and make a plan and expect Sakura to cheerfully uproot her life to follow it.

But so help her…

"And you won't need to pay rent," Ino continues brightly. "Dad does insist we help out at the flower shop, but you can man the register just fine and I can field any questions about the flowers you might not know. So… how about it?"

She is absolutely going to uproot her life to follow Ino's plan.

She sniffles.

Ino looks alarmed. "No crying! Sakura, no crying! Just say yes!"

"Y-yes," Sakura stammers out, then bursts into tears, and flings herself at Ino.

"Oh my gooood," Ino says, a complaint, but her arms come up around Sakura comfortingly and she doesn't push her away, but rather holds her tight. "Come on, Forehead. It'll be great. I'll help you pack your stuff up tonight. Dad's got some cousins cleaning the guest room right now to turn it into yours."

Sakura's crying fit doesn't immediately subside, though, and knowing she's safe, she allows herself to cry it out before she calms down and pulls away.

"Sorry," she says.

Ino surveys the wet, gross spots on her shirt. "Well," she says, "I always did know you'd be a pain in the ass as a sister so, like, cheers for me being right."

Sakura laughs damply.

Ino grabs her by the hand and drags her off to wash her face.

That makes her feel better by rather a lot. She doesn't even mind when Ino bullies her into buying Ino a new shirt (at 70% off, so it's not a burden even on Sakura's limited budget) so that Ino doesn't look like a snot bag when they go and tell her parents she's moving out.

It's probably sad that she needs this layer of stealth with her parents. It's almost definitely a tragedy that she's more comfortable telling them she's moving in with Ino than she is telling them about the mission.

But she hugs closely to her chest the bright, beautiful feeling that someone cares enough to bother with all of this for her. That she'll have a home, because she knows Ino won't tolerate anything less than that.

She does have a question though: "What about when we get back from the mission?"

Ino blinks at her. "Hm?"

"You said your dad wouldn't be fine with it if we were full time in the village," she points out. "So, like, what about after the mission?"

"Well," Ino says cheerfully, "there's always other missions."

Sakura stares at her.

"What?" Ino says. "I'm not wrong."

"No—it's just—I—"

Because in her roundabout way, Ino has just said that Sakura will always have a home with her and her dad.

"Don't you dare cry again," Ino says.

Startled, Sakura laughs. All of a sudden—

"Come on," Sakura says. "Let's go tell my parents I'm moving out right now."

The inevitable, unavoidable tirade is endurable with Ino by her side. It's almost funny, really, watching the way her parents go up in (figurative) flames when they realize that there's nothing they can do about it.

Sakura sticks to the basics: she's moving out. Yes, right now. No, they don't get a say.

Ino mostly stays quiet but, now and then, she quotes various laws at them for reasons why this is absolutely, perfectly legal and how they can't actually do anything about it.

When her dad has stormed out and her mom has given up the guilt tripping and gone just for incoherent, manipulative sobbing, Ino drags her up the stairs to her bedroom and they get to work. Ino turns up the radio to the brightest, most upbeat pop she can find, and allows it to blare on and on and on, drowning out the sounds from any of the other rooms.

It takes the two of them most of the night to pack up her things. They don't bother with any of the furniture, except for a beanbag chair that Sakura bought with her own money, from her very first paycheque as a shinobi.

Ino teases her about the pink and blue flowers all over it but hoists it up onto her shoulders without complaint anyway. Packed up, her life feels very, very small.

Then Ino nudges her to get going and so they do, down the stairs, past her mom who begins crying again the moment she hears them on the steps, their arms and backs laden with all of Sakura's worldly possessions.

Other than the furniture, the only thing they leave behind is the radio, still roaring with pop songs.

They wind up having to use chakra to keep a grip on it all, which Sakura tells herself is good practice anyway, and she takes comfort in the weird way that no one seems to think there's anything odd about two teens with arms full of things in the pre-dawn light.

Maybe it's because she feels fuzzy-headed but the fact that no one screams about thievery bolsters her.

Ino doesn't say anything and, when Sakura glances her way, she looks tired. Well, they've been up nearly twenty-four hours now.

And Sakura doesn't know what to say either.

The walk to Yamanaka's Flowers passes too quickly but also takes forever. When they get there, though, Ino's dad is waiting for them, holding the door wide.

"Welcome home, girls," he says, and that's all that he needs to.

"I'm home," Sakura says.

---

July 12th

Once Sakura's sleeping, her stuff having been dropped into piles on the floor of her new room, Ino wanders back down the stairs and takes a seat at the kitchen table.

"You should get some rest," her dad says, though he sets a cup of tea down in front of her and presses a kiss to the crown of her head.

"I'm okay," Ino says, smiling. "Thanks, Daddy. For everything."

Yamanaka Inoichi shrugs a little. "Well," he says, "it's good to have a use for that room anyway."

She giggles and sips her tea. "Don't make that joke around Sakura yet."

"I won't," he says. "There's going to be some paperwork at the Missions Desk that the four of you will need to take care of this afternoon. I trust you'll round everyone up for it?"

"That's me," she agrees happily. "Professional kunoichi-wrangler."

"Good," he says. "I've got to go to HQ. I'll be there most of the day. If you need me for anything, contact Kisako first. She'll know if I'm able to be disturbed.

Ino nods, used to this set up. Her dad is Head of ANBU's Intelligence department. She might be his daughter but reaching out at the wrong time could be catastrophic for her mind, his mind, and whatever he's working on.

After he's left, Ino makes herself something to eat, does the dishes, takes the trash out, and then goes and showers before getting herself a nap.

Kunoichi-wrangling, after all, can't be done on zero sleep. No matter how much fortitude she's got.

---

The first sign that they're going to be here for a good while is when they're escorted into another room, off to the side, that she's never been in and, from the look of the others that they haven't either. The overhead light is just a lightbulb, no shade, and the table and chairs look like they're as old as the building and have been beaten up just as much.

The second sign that they're going to be here for a good while is when three-three-desk Chuunin come in and drop armfuls of documents on the table. After they've left, a fourth one comes in and hands her a thick binder and a box of pens.

"Let me know if you have any questions," the desk Chuunin says. Then he leaves and they're left with…

"Okay," Ino says, setting the pens on the table and looking at the binder. There's no label on it, because that would make life easier, so she opens it, looking for a table of contents.

She kind of wishes she hadn't, once she reads it.

"Okay," she says again, looking up at the other three, who are staring at the table and her in equal parts dismay and curiosity. Ino takes a breath but, like, she's in charge of them for this mission so—she can absolutely do this. "Before we get started, Tenten and Hinata, can you go, like, buy lots of snacks? Sakura and I are going to get the drinks. We'll meet back here in twenty minutes and, for the love of god, make sure you go to the bathroom before you come back."

This makes them all laugh and they scatter to their various tasks.

Twenty minutes on the dot, according to the clock up on the wall, they reassemble, much better prepared for… whatever all of this is.

Ino directs them to put the piles on the floor and then, when the table is clear of everything but the pens and the binder, she flips it open.

"So," Ino says, "apparently we're going to be all over the news. The British Ministry of Magic is making this a hugely publicized thing. The Council of Kages doesn't seem to have similar plans but, like, they don't need to when the British are doing all the work for them when it comes to us. I'm sure there's plans for whomever winds up coming here but they don't impact us so we're not going to find out from this."

"Publicized?" Sakura asks. "Like… interviews and photos…?"

"And glossy magazines, ceremonies, and radio shows, apparently," Ino says, with another glance down at the table of contents. "This is… not a simple transfer student exchange envoy thing, apparently. It's looking like we're also going to be ambassadors in truth."

"Remind me that I'll have to take revenge on you at some point for getting me into this," Sakura mutters.

"Paris, Sakura," Ino reminds her. "Just keep thinking about Paris."

Sakura grumbles.

Ino takes stock of Tenten and Hinata. Tenten looks thrilled and Hinata, well, she looks a little anxious but also not particularly concerned.

Excellent. She can pretend she's not internally panicking at having to navigate as their leader for all of this. They don't need to know. It's not that important. And, well.

Luckily, Ino is very good at exuding confidence.

"The first stack is the boring stuff," she says, breaking into a box of pocky and handing out the pens and the candy at the same time. "It's all Ministry paperwork necessary to be completed and filed, in triplicate for some weird reason, by each of us. According to The Binder, once we finish signing it there's a) no going back and b) the Ministry of Magic over there will get the ball moving."

Ino stares at each of them for a long moment. She doesn't want to give them an out but if anyone is having a dilemma about participating… she needs to know and she needs to know now. "This is your last chance to back out. If you don't want to go, say so now."

Tenten shrugs. "My mom's already buying stuff she says I'll need."

"I want to go," Hinata says quietly but with steel.

"You'd better make sure we get to go to Paris at some point, Pig."

Ino beams at them. "Then that's settled. Let's tackle the first stack of paper."

The stack turns out to be four packets, each tightly bound, and the paper is actually parchment which, okay, sure.

"This is a British thing, right?" Sakura asks. "The whole—"

"Kind of like our scrolls, yeah," Tenten says, uncapping her pen and sticking the cap in her mouth. This doesn't stop her from talking. "They have scrolls but mostly they work out of books, while we're the other way around. Meanwhile, we have parchment but it's kind of… old school, unless you work with sealing, and not something we really write on regularly. Lined paper is much easier."

"And the book is backwards," Hinata says, smiling as she looks up. "Look, it's all left to right instead of right to left."

"It's also all in English," Sakura says. "Ino, can you—"

"We'll go through all the questions together," Ino says, with a glance at all of them. "I think that's the simplest way to make sure we all know what's going on."

No one argues or even thinks about it (she totally eavesdropped on that, just to make sure) so that's what they do. The Ministry paperwork is mostly boring as shit and, while it takes them over an hour and a half, it's really pretty easy.

"I don't understand why we have to fill it all in, manually, three times over," Sakura says at one point, shaking out a cramp in her hand. "Haven't they heard of a XEROX machine?"

"They haven't," Tenten says, not looking up from her writing. "Mom says the British are much more segregated than we are from the civilians here. They've even got a special word for it—they call them Muggles."

Ino wrinkles her nose, crosses out one of her answers, and re-writes it.

"S-So, they're Muggles and civilians?" Hinata asks.

"The British magicals aren't tied to a military force the way they are in most of the Asian countries. China, Korea, Japan—magic is, in some form, tied into miliary service and rank," Ino says. "So they've got civilian people with magic and military people with magic. Unlike us, with just civilians and ninja."

"And priests and monks," Sakura adds. "For us, I mean. But they're—the magic is different, when it comes to them."

They all nod. Magic tied to spirituality is a different thing entirely from their magic—chakra.

Hinata frowns a little. "D-Doesn't that way lead to conflict and no easy way to quell it?" she wonders. "A magical child in a non-magical family will have no support and what happens to a non-magical child in a magical family?"

They exchange uneasy glances because Hinata has a point but, also, they just don't know.

"I'm sure they've got a way that makes sense," Ino says bracingly. "And that we can poke around when we get there for the answers. After all, in their terminology, Sakura would be a Muggleborn, right?"

"That's right," Tenten says. "I'd be a half-blood, because my mom's a civilian and my dad's a ninja. Both you and Hinata would be pure-bloods, with your family lines stretching so far back and history of being ninja."

Sakura looks a little troubled. "I wonder why we had to put that information down, though? I mean, we're all the same rank here."

"Don't worry about it," Ino says. "Anyone tries anything, we just beat them up. You're one of us."

"Because that will do wonders for our diplomatic endeavours," Tenten says dryly.

"We can blame it on youthful high-spirits," Hinata says innocently.

Sakura laughs and they forget about it for now.

Besides, the next pile is way more interesting than dusty, boring information about things like how long they've been in the magical world.

It also doesn't escape Ino's notice that she's got, like, double the amount of papers to get through.

Perils of being a mission-leader, I suppose, Ino muses, flipping through her extra pages quickly, then freezing.

"Oh my god," Ino says, holding up one sheet of paper. "We get host families!"

"We're being split up?!" Sakura yelps because of course that would be Sakura's takeaway from that.

"Wait, what?" Tenten says. "I don't want to be by myself. I'm going with you guys."

Hinata nods.

"No, no," Ino says, reading the paper again. "It's asking us how many host families we'd like. I suppose they feel that four new additions to a family is, like, a bit much. Who'd want that many, right?"

"I still don't want to be split up," Tenten says firmly.

"Can we stay together?" Hinata asks.

"I think so," Ino says slowly. "I'll put down that we'd like to stay together, though there's a note that says depending on who offers to host, we might not be able to. But we'll try, okay? And we'll be together once school starts anyway—it's a boarding school."

Ino writes down their preference for one family before anyone can comment on that.

"That's settled," she says, though it's nowhere near settled as far as everyone else is concerned, and their expressions say so. "It will be fine. I'll make it be right."

Sakura immediately looks relieved and, to her surprise, Tenten and Hinata both look reassured too. It's gratifying but also terrifying.

I'll talk to Daddy about that, she decides, and looks at the host family sheet again. But, you know, I hope we get a mom. Daddy's great but I only remember Mom from his stories. A mom would be awfully nice.

She doesn't say that out-loud though. There's some things that Ino doesn't let people know and that's one of them.

Besides, Daddy would be sad if he knew I missed having a mom, she thinks. And he's a great dad, really, absolutely the best.

"What's all in your guy's piles?" she asks, since the next few pages of hers all look like boring things.

Hinata looks up. "Interview questions," she says. "With a note to not answer now, but to label any that we won't answer. I suppose they're letting us pre-screen them due to the way our countries are different?"

"Probably also so we don't give away state secrets," Tenten says, which makes them all laugh.

They're shinobi, after all. They know how to keep their mouths shut on the important stuff. Even when they're clashing with someone like oil and water.

"Witch Weekly wants to know our bathing routines," Sakura says. "Weird. I mean, I guess I don't have a problem talking about my shampoo, but it's still a bit… weird, people wanting to know that."

"We're going to be celebrities," Ino says, which really explains it all since Sakura nods. "And, hey, we can drum up business for places that we like."

"You're going to hype up the flower shop, aren't you?" Tenten asks.

Ino frowns a little, then wiggles her hand. "Flowers don't travel internationally all that well and a lot of what we sell wouldn't be going to any civilians, whether they have magic or not. They just wouldn't have the permits. I'll see what Dad says, but otherwise I think I'll mention it and then gush about wanting to see what Britain's flower shops are like."

Hinata giggles. "So you're planning on the big-eyed sweetheart route?"

Being called out like that doesn't hurt Ino's feelings at all. That's, like, one of the points of this meeting.

"I think so," Ino says. "Like, if all of this is correct, we're going to be big, and that means we're going to want to make sure we know how we're presenting ourselves ahead of time. As squad leader, I can't play the dumb blonde, but I can definitely play to the sweetheart vibe."

Sakura frowns. "This sounds complicated. Are we going to have to act all the time?"

Hinata shakes her head. "No," she says. "At school, we'll be able to be pretty much ourselves. The important thing is that we're consistent in interviews and when we're in the public eye."

"In that case," Tenten says, "Hinata, you've absolutely got to play the exquisite heiress, the Yamato Nadeshiko."

Hinata flushes a little, but nods. "Y-Yes," she says. "I had thought… that would be easiest. My family is the most traditional."

"What about you two?" Ino asks.

"Sporty," Tenten says promptly, taking a swig of water. "I don't think any of you know anything much about Quidditch anyway, right?"

"Something to do with brooms?" Sakura asks uncertainly.

"So that's why I'll do it," Tenten says.

Sakura looks a little lost. "I don't know what to be. I'm just… me."

"And you're pretty awesome," Ino says. "Not all of us were using words like 'saudade' at nine years old and you're training to be a healer. Use that! Be everyone's little sister who wants to learn all she can about healing."

"I do want to learn all I can about healing," Sakura admits. "And, also, I'm older than you, Ino-pig!"

Ino sticks her tongue out at her, and then laughing, shakes her head. "Okay, so we've got the sweetheart, the heiress, the tomboy, and the little sis. Feel free to flesh these out as you want, but let me know if there's going to be any changes to the basics here."

The other three nod.

"Okay, quick break for stretching and to use the bathroom," Ino decides. "Then get back here and we'll look over all the interview and ceremony stuff with our personae in mind."

---

July 20th

The next few days pass in a flurry of preparations, so quickly that Hinata hardly has time to stop and consider that yes, yes she's absolutely certain that this is what she's doing. This is the decision that she's made.

Which is probably for the best. She doesn't think it's a mistake but, at the same time, she's going to miss some parts of the village very much. She knows she's not the only one to feel that way. Every time that Hinata sees Sakura, which is often as they both have some of the most intensive tutoring she's ever had in her life with Tenten's mom, Sakura looks overwhelmed.

But Ino will look after that, Hinata thinks and, while she feels slightly guilty for putting Sakura's troubles to the side, she's got her own things going on.

She might've won the conversation with her father about being able to go but that does not mean he's made it easy for her. Mealtimes, always a frosty affair, have become downright frigid and she's been counting down the days until they leave.

There's both far too many to go and not nearly enough.

Today, though, today she's found time for a much more palatable meal, one with her team.
Kurenai-sensei's already been told about the mission, since as her Jounin-sensei she'd needed to know, but…

Is it cowardly to hope she's told Kiba and Shino? It probably is but she sort of hopes that anyway, no matter how supportive they'll be.

Either way, as she approaches the boys, she breaks out into a smile. "Good afternoon!" she calls, and they both look at her, Kiba grinning.

"Hello, stranger!" he teases her, even as she crouches to greet Akamaru. "Long time no see!"

"And circumstantial evidence being what it is," Shino says, "we're not likely to see you for a good while after this, are we?"

She hesitates, which means Akamaru takes advantage of this to lick her face with his long tongue and wag his tail wildly for having gotten away with it.

"Oh, you," she says, and rubs his ears. Then she sighs a little and looks up at the boys, her boys, her teammates. "You're correct," she says. "I've been chosen as part of the diplomatic envoy headed to Britain."

Kiba whistles. "Holy shit!"

"Impressive," Shino says. "And congratulations, Hinata."

She looks at the both of them, these two boys who've helped her find her footing, find her strength and, as she stands, she blurts out: "I'll miss you both."

Kiba snorts. "Why?" he says. "We're not going anywhere. You need us, you tell us, we're there. It's that simple."

Shino nods. "Precisely."

There are so many ways it's not that simple, and Hinata knows most of them. Things can happen, distance has a way of either bringing people together or having the drift apart, and she—she doesn't want to lose this, not while she's off looking for something else.

Kurenai-sensei's hands land gently on her shoulders, and she can hear the smile in her sensei's voice. It doesn't even bother her that Kurenai-sensei managed to get behind her without her noticing. Shino and Kiba give no indication of having been surprised—they'd known and had her covered.

"You will always be a member of Team Eight," Kurenai-sensei says, and that's… that's a help.

"Thank you," she says, in a low voice, near tears. Hinata, though, would never cry in public. Too many years of training rise up against it. She might have been replaced as the heir of the Hyuuga Clan by her sister, but she's got all the social niceties ingrained in her. "It's just…," she falters and then, when they all wait for her to continue, she does, with, "it's all just very… large."

Kiba grins at her. "What, like going across the world wouldn't be?"

Her laugh comes out a little shaky. "I—I suppose you have a point."

"An excellent one," Kurenai-sensei says. "And staying here, after having been given this opportunity, would only forestall your growth. We expect you to stay in touch, but we want you to go out there and do your best."

"Hinata always does her best," Shino says. "I have no concerns about that."

And, in their own way, they wash away her concerns over the course of the golden, summer's afternoon.

---

Look.

Tenten loves her team. She really does. They might be full of absolute nutjobs but she does love them. That doesn't mean she doesn't make her escape as soon as she can after telling them about her mission, though, because there's only much glittering, sparkling, and crying she can stand from Gai-sensei and Lee, who both go on and on about her flourishing in her springtime of youth.

Which she is, she supposes, but it's never a good idea to get caught up in their antics. She's not much of one for hugging dramatically upon a cliff over a seaside with the waves slamming up over them to emphasize the moment of victory.

And Neji seems somewhere torn between smug self-confidence that, obviously, if his cousin (Hinata) was going, then she'd be qualified to go too, and irritation that he wasn't the one to go since he was, just as obviously, the most skilled of Team Gai.

Which… he's not wrong. He's also the prettiest member of Team Gai, she holds no illusions there, but Tenten doesn't have the heart to tell him, even while she's irritated, that the reason she gets to go and not him is because Ino made the call.

And she's never really said anything about it, which in retrospect is a bit of a clue, but Tenten is pretty sure that Ino doesn't like Neji at all.

Lee probably had better chances of being invited, if only because weird and overbearing as he might be, he's genuinely nice. Neji is many, many things but, even as his teammate for almost three years, Tenten can't call him nice. They get along, sure, but that's not the same thing.

Tenten makes her escape with some relief, from all of it, though she will tell the other girls the whole anecdote of the experience later, once they're safely away from where Gai-sensei could possibly hear them.

I'll buy them some souvenirs, she decides, feeling a little guilty for having fled. And write them a lot of letters. That'll make them happy.

And if the sparkles and waves and dramatic hugs against the setting sun follow her through their return letters…

Well. Okay. I'll be really impressed.

Because seriously.

---

It sucks, everything sucks, she hates this. She hates this.

Sakura knows good and well that Tenten and Hinata are spending today with their teams and she's not quite sure what Ino is doing, just that Ino wandered off bright and early in the morning (after waking up screaming yet again and, well, Sakura is a bit unsettled at how normal both Ino and her dad treated that even though Ino has woken up screaming every day she's been here) with no explanation and she, Sakura, is now left to her own devices.

And…

No team to speak of.

Sasuke's an idiot, Naruto's an idiot, Kakashi-sensei's an idiot, she thinks, because it's complicated the way her feelings get so tangled and ugly when she thinks of how Sasuke had left the village to gain power for his revenge and Naruto had bailed to go and train in order to bring him back, even though technically Sasuke should be declared a missing-nin and killed on sight (she has no idea why Tsunade-shishou hasn't done so; it's probably a Naruto-inspired thing since Tsunade-shishou isn't always rational about Naruto—Sakura could ask but she doesn't want to, is the thing, not until she's sure how she feels about the whole situation) and Kakashi-sensei…

He just never wanted to teach, she thinks glumly. And I was always his least favourite student.

Because there's really no excuse for why she's only seen him in passing less than a handful of times in the last year.

I'm obviously not doing anything elaborate for telling him goodbye, then, she decides. But should I even tell him?

Tsunade-shishou and Shizune-san are taking her out to dinner that night, which is a balm to her hurt feelings, but it doesn't solve… well, the mess that's the broken Team Seven.

Sakura's not sure anything can fix that.

In the end, she leaves a note, short and to the point: I'll be out of the village on a long term mission, Kakashi-sensei. If you want any details, talk to Tsunade-sama. – Sakura

Getting that note into Kakashi-sensei's apartment takes most of the day since, well, he's a paranoid Jounin and she's a Genin. She's good at traps and apparently a prodigy at healing, but he's got years and years and years of trauma and experience on her, and it takes some serious effort to get the note where she wants it to go.

But she does and…

That's, that, I guess, Sakura thinks, looking at the sky and realizing it's almost time to meet Tsunade-shishou and Shizune-san. Bye, Kakashi-sensei.

She'd say she'd miss him but she's been missing him since he was assigned as her sensei. It's hard being the one least liked and the one left behind.

But onward, forward, to better things, Sakura thinks, turning away from Kakashi-sensei's apartment block.

After all, Ino chose me first.

And that's the kind of love she's going to accept and give back and cherish. It's why she's going on this mission, really, even though she's not sure what use she'll be and even though Ino keeps dangling Paris in front of her.

Paris is important, after all, but that Ino asked her first is much moreso.

---

Ino knows that she should, like, probably be spending time with her team. It would be the thing to do and would make her dad's relations with the Nara and Akimichi Clans go more smoothly while she's gone but…

Eh.

I've already said goodbye to them. Shikamaru's still annoyed at all the trouble it'll cause him by my not being around and Chouji's sad, though I've promised to write and I'll definitely send him snacks. Besides, it's only the 20th. We've still got most of a month to make the most of. Asuma-sensei's irritated but not at me, I don't think, more that Tsunade-shishou didn't run this mission past him first.

She'd never say it to Asuma-sensei's face but, sometimes, she thinks that he forgets he's no longer got the same 'in' to the Hokage as when the Third Hokage, his father, had been alive.

But, yeah, she isn't going to say that aloud to anyone except maybe her dad. Maybe.

Speaking of her dad, though, he's the real reason she's not using today to hang out with her team and do the whole bonding thing—he's ordered her to HQ, where she's never been before. Well. She's been as far as the front door, before, to drop off packages her dad's asked her to pick up.

Packages she's never looked into because that's also part of training and, with her dad, almost definitely part of a test.

Because I'm just a Genin and should have no business prying into the errands the Head of Intelligence gives me, even if he's my dad. Probably especially when he's my dad.

Today, though, she presents herself, just herself, without any packages or scrolls she can't look at and while she goes through the screening process the Chuunin put her through to ascertain her identity, she admires the way they're not showing anything but brisk professionalism.

Thankfully, I am myself, she thinks. Otherwise I think I'd be lucky if I just got beaten into a pulp and juiced.

Once she's through and permitted into the building, Ino isn't surprised that she's got an escort—a tall, lanky shinobi she's never seen before who doesn't say anything but who oozes danger in a way that screams Jounin to her senses—and, out of deference to him, she doesn't say anything either.

Besides.

I want them to think I'm professional too, she admits to herself. I'm probably going to wind up working here, when I'm a Chuunin and Jounin, so acting like a child is desperately unappealing.

Her dad's the one that taught her that wearing a façade of bubblegum silliness is fine, is great, even, because people always underestimate people who seem a little silly and who radiate bright good cheer. But he's also the one that taught her there's a time and place for it.

And he knows me better than my team, who thought I'd actually snapped when I cut my hair in the Chuunin Exam, rather than it being a fully calculated ploy.

That's an eternal dilemma of working in Intel though. To deceive the enemy, sometimes you must first deceive your friends.

The door she's escorted to is down a grey hallway that, to her eyes, is identical to the other hallways they've past. None of the doors are marked in any way. Rather than knocking, the Jounin places his hand flat against the door, palm flush against it, and she can feel the faint pulse of chakra he uses.

With a click, the door unlocks, and he steps back, looking down at her.

I wonder what would happen if someone had went, "Knock knock!" or tapped the door instead? Probably nothing good.

She takes the hint and walks into the room. Behind her, the door shuts and locks.

Ino tells herself she expected that and pretends she doesn't find it creepy before deciding, no, it's totally creepy. Kind of cool, too, but also creepy.

She has a split-second to notice the room is less foreboding than the journey to it—though not by much. But there's a proper couple of lanterns. Some filing cabinets. A wooden table, rather than a metal one, and the chairs to match.

Then she realizes Tsunade-shishou is seated on the other side of the table and she bows.

"Hokage-sama," she says, because while she might refer to Tsunade-shishou more casually in most times and places, here and now… she's the Hokage and Ino is one of her soldiers.

"Take a seat, Yamanaka-kun," Hokage-sama says and, once Ino's done so, her Hokage slides a folder across the desk to her.

Ino looks at it curiously—it is just a plain manila folder, unlabelled, thick but not too thick—but makes no move to open it.

"In that folder is all the information we have on a man who calls himself Voldemort," Hokage-sama says. "You will read and commit all of it to memory before you leave here today. This information may not leave this room."

Ino nods. "Why is the village interested in Voldemort, Hokage-sama?"

Hokage-sama smiles faintly. There's sharp edges to it but Ino isn't worried. Those edges aren't directed at her.

"There were several incidents last year," Hokage-sama says. "Where a man matching his description went into a shrine he shouldn't have known about and killed the monks who guarded the secrets there. Evidence from other countries suggests this is his pattern—find things he shouldn't know of, steal the knowledge, and kill anyone who guards it or uses the same secrets."

Ino itches with curiosity and hopes that the folder tells her what some of these secrets are.

"Your job," Hokage-sama says, "is to find out more of him. He's returned to his home grounds in Britain and is fomenting unrest. Right now, it's mostly passive but war could break out. Do whatever it takes to best learn what you can of this thief of secrets."

Which—it's not the same kind of fun that she's been having with the girls but, like, Ino would be lying to herself (and she tries not to do that) if she didn't think that this also sounded pretty fun. Dangerous but she's a ninja. Danger throbs in her veins.

But there's a lot of huge questions. A fleet of ocean liners worth of questions.

"Hokage-sama," she says carefully, "with all due respect, should this mission be assigned to a Genin?"

"Are you telling me you can't do it?" Hokage-sama asks.

Ino's chin goes up. "No," she says. "But these mission parameters aren't… commonly given to those of my rank."

It pains her to say that, but she'd be a bad shinobi to just… take it, not question it, not wonder why a baby team of babies (relatively speaking) is being sent out into the wilds of England on their own.

And, worse, if I didn't question it, I'd be doing my teammates a disservice that could get them killed.

If they're not qualified, then they're not qualified. An all girls team might've sprung partly out of the urge to stick it to the boys but she… she's better than that, when it comes to her squad's lives on the line.

Hokage-sama studies her thoughtfully. "Well said, Yamanaka-kun," she says, after a moment. "You're correct that it is not often down. However, we send the people best for the job, rather than confining missions solely to rank. There are others who could do this job—we've decided you're the best fit for it."

"That I'm the best fit for it," she repeats carefully. "Not the entire team?"

It jives with her being the only one ordered here, and that the information about Voldemort is being presented only to her, it really does, but…

Hokage-sama waves that off. "You're the squad leader and the one originally selected for this mission. The other three are your back up. Tell them what they need to know, at your discretion."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," she says. "Other than observing this Voldemort, should we be doing anything?"

It's Tsunade-shishou's smile, then, rather than the colder one that she wears when she's fully embodying the role of Hokage.

"Do what you think is best," Tsunade-shishou says. "If you think you can kill him, do so, but that's not being ordered. We have no idea what defences he'll have, and he's killed people with more experience than your entire team put together. Strictly speaking, your orders are just to observe. In actuality… there's more leeway. Use your imagination. Play your games. Seek counsel if you need it from your father or myself. Don't you dare get yourself killed."

Ino nods.

She's got oodles of imagination. Those are rules she can really respect.

This is totally going to be so much fun!

"I'll leave you to your reading," Tsunade-shishou says. "If you need to leave the room for anything, including a bathroom break, knock three times on the right side of your door and then wait. Don't open it by yourself."

… That's, yeah, that's kind of nerve-wracking but, hey, she's got it. She'll listen.

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Ino says, and reaches for the folder.

---

Voldemort, Ino realizes as she reads, is kind of a piece of shit.

It's not that she thinks murder is bad or anything–that would be super hypocritical of her, given her profession, that her dad works closely with the village's torture specialists, that her likely specialities are going to be infiltration, sabotage, and assassination, and that she has already killed a few people herself (bandits, in self-defence and, one time, an enemy ninja for pretty much the same reason)-but it's the way he goes about it.

He's thorough, I'll give him that, she thinks grudgingly. But even when the secrets are shared with him freely, he kills them after he's learned all he can. He's wasteful.

The secrets he's stolen aren't detailed in the file, unfortunately, but she knows enough about the geography and the kinds of shrines and temples mentioned to know that, absolutely, in some of these cases, they'd have welcomed him with open arms.

And there's spells for making people forget things. He doesn't have to kill all these people. Does he do it for the sport of it? Or out of paranoia? What's his goal here? So, like, he's into forbidden secrets… but not all secrets are forbidden for the same reason. Which means he's looking for something.

The file holds no answer as to what he's looking for.

Which is probably why I'm being sent, she decides, though she frowns.

There's Yamanaka cousins that could've been sent in her stead, if a Yamanaka was needed. Cousins who were higher ranked and had more experience.

But Dad approved this mission before it was ever brought to me. He's the one that's put together some of these reports. It was right there, in the initialisation. She knew his writing, knew his chakra. Which means both he and Tsunade-sama think I'm the best for this job. I just haven't figured out why yet.

There's no flipping idly through these pages. She's got to read every single one and read them carefully. There's even pictures of some of the scenes, full on, gory disasters and she wrinkles her nose with distaste as she studies them. The smell would be terrible.

But, eventually, she hits the exact reason Tsunade-sama had been so cagey about what she should tell the others. It's… it's not good.

Actually it's so far from good that Ino rereads it, almost blankly, and then she has to shove the file away from her and then, when that's not enough, shoves herself away from the table to put some space between her and it.

Because she gets it. Now. And she—

She just needs to move, a little, while she thinks. Stretch out the kinks, both physically and mentally.

Mentally…

So he's a practitioner of Legilimency and Occlumency, she thinks grimly. Okay. First–that makes his killing of people even more senseless because it's easy as pie to make someone forget something if you're any good at the mind arts. Second–I definitely see why they're sending a Yamanaka, though any Yamanaka would do, and why… why the real mission's going to have to be a secret from the others.

She crosses her arms and glowers at the file's contents spread across the table.

He can read minds. He can shield from having others read his mind.

Sakura, Hinata, and Tenten don't have any true protection from that. Sakura's got that weird split in her personality, something that rises up like an angel of vengeance should someone enter her mind, but Ino reads Sakura's mind all the time, no problem, and she knows her dad has done the same, especially after the first time Ino had encountered the split personality that hides within Sakura.

If Voldemort tries to possess her, I'd bet on her. But her mind is open and vulnerable to a more casual read, just like the others, who don't even have that last ditch defense.

And then…

Then there's me. We don't parade it about, for good reason, but… against our bloodline talent, his mind arts won't work at all. I can't be obliviated nor will legilimency work on me.

"Fuck," she mutters. "I'm going to have to be extremely careful about my telepathy–here, I do it all the time, Sakura doesn't even jump when I talk to her non-verbally these days."

She glowers darkly as she reviews the file again. Hatefully, the words on the page stay the same, and they're going to be… they're going to be a problem.

There's ways around it, of course there are, but…

"The girls… they all know what I can do, in the general sense." She feels cold, though it's all in her head, and she doesn't finish her thought out loud. She doesn't dare.

They're all going to need their memories changed before we leave Konoha.

Ino hates that. Hates that a lot. She hates the fact that, really, it's because of her that this is going to happen–she's the one that invited them all out on the mission. It won't even be her who does it, probably her dad will, but it sits poorly with her, the girls needing their memories changed. Her friends.

It's too late for them to back out. They've already signed the paperwork. And even if they were given the option…

They wouldn't take it. They'll go for the memory alteration. They'd do it for me and for the mission. I know that. It's necessary. We don't know who else practices the mind arts there either. It's too dangerous for them to remember.

She slumps back into her seat, feeling the weight of the mission on her shoulders and, for a moment, thinking it would crush her.

It won't, though.

I won't let it.

She picks up the file again, from where she left off, and keeps reading.

And, note to self, make sure you check with Dad about what they'll know I'm able to do. The story needs to be consistent.

Because it doesn't matter how much she hates it. What matters is the mission and obeying orders.

I am a proud ninja of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, she thinks grimly. And I will do whatever is necessary to succeed.

Twenty-five days until mission start.

We'll be ready.