A/N

I don't own Harry Potter

Chapter 1

Molly Strikes

Arthur Weasley was cooking breakfast for his seven kids and his wife Molly, who had plopped herself at the head of the table, signifying her arrival with a belch that shook the glass table. Ginny Weasley was coming down the stairs upset that it would be a whole year before she would be able to go to Hogwarts and was complaining loudly.

"Why does Ron get to go and not meeee" she squealed banging her two hooks for hands on the table.

Arthur sighed, as he was still upset Ginny had lost her real hands in a tractor accident two years ago while trying to earn some funds for the family. It had been like this for years, as Molly made Arthur quit his job so he could be her "trophy stay at home husband", while Molly would pursue a carrier as a muggle truck driver. After a bar fight left Molly with a broken back, it left both parents without a job, so they forced their seven bundles of joy to work.

Bill and Charley whom were both over the age of maturity had been forbidden to leave home by Molly, whom had personally sabotaged every job interview for them so they could work from home and keep the much needed money within the family.

Bill had come down the stairs to go to work, as he had secured a low paying factory job at the local dog food factory, forever accepting his fate that he would never be allowed to look for a job in the magical community. As he was reaching to get some milk out of the icebox Molly wolf whistled. "Man he got himself a nice one".

Arthur immediately turned around, "what did you say Molly" he said sharply.

"Jealous huh" Molly cackled

Arthur heaved a sigh as Ginny went back upstairs, to which Molly shrugged and said in a gruff voice. "that's all that little bitch does is cry and complain, cry and complain whaa whaaa whaaa" she thundered tossing a plate at Arthur's head which he dodged on instinct, as it shattered against the wall.

"I'm tired of your shit" Arthur wailed. "I don't care clean shit up" Molly roared with her throat. Arthur attempted to yell but Molly grabbed him by the hair and shoved his head against the grittle. As Arthur wailed in agony the rest of the Weasley clan came down.

Molly began to inspect the shape and sizes of her remaining offspring's faces before informing Ronald that he was to befriend Harry Potter in an attempt for the family to get their claws into the fabeled Potter fortune, an operation that they simply called "operation Potter gold".

"Hard to get bathroom time eh" Molly wise cracked before going to the bathroom with the newspaper. The whole family knew to avoid the bathroom as nobody who wished to live wanted to follow Molly in the bathroom.

One hour later as the kids and Molly left for school, Arthur woke up strapped to the table, no doubt about to be experimented on by Molly again, last time she had removed his spleen, and part of his little toe. Arthur freed himself and fled for the hills.

The Weasley's minus the battered Arthur arrived at the train station, with the confidence that the Potter fortune would soon be theirs, how wrong they would be.

"Do you have the goods" Molly asked with a ghost of a snarl as she worked on squeezing the venom out of the large bug bite on Ginny's forehead as Ron gave her the thumbs up.

Soon Ronald would befriend Harry Potter and give him these hot buttery biscuits that are laced with love potions keyed to Ginny, as well as loyalty potions keyed to the Weasley clan (minus Arthur) and Dumbledore.

As they arrived at the train station they immediatly saw Harry alone.

"Paydirt boys" she cackled as she apparated in front of the wizard, in plain sight of all the muggles.

"Harry dear, good to see you, you know doubt have no idea how to get on the platform, luckily I know how to get on, as I have had many kids , as well as attended Hogwarts myself for a few years.

"A few years huh, sounds like there is a story there, as Hogwarts is a seven year school, anyways I don't know you" said Harry irritably.

"I'm sure you will see us as family very soon" said Molly coldly.

Molly continued., "anyways I'm sure your hungry, and I just happened to make my scrumptious buttery biscuits this morning, I'm sure Ronald will share" she said arrogantly as she tried to shove the buttery biscuits in Harry's face. Luckily for Harry, his struggles seemed to be getting attention of the muggles, some of whom were beginning to take pictures.

She was tackled by a muggle police officer who immediately stepped back in fright. He got on his phone and called for backup. "This red headed menace just tried to take a bite out of me" but it was too late as Molly had chased after Harry onto the magical platform and out of sight.

While on the platform, Aurors were already waiting, as they had received complaints about Molly performing magic in front of an entire trin station full of muggles.

As the Aurors arrested Molly she gave Harry two middle fingers and a war cry.

Harry was able to get on the train and ignore Ronald's attempts to get into his compartment. He quickly made some friends and had a mostly enjoyable ride despite the loud snoring coming from Ronald who was camped outside of their compartment.

After six hours they had arrived at Hogwarts, where Harry was sorted into Hufflepuff. He was enjoying the food when the doors to the great hall burst open. It was Molly who was up to some mischef.

Molly lept at Neville Longbottom killing him instantly with her tremeondous weight. Picking up a butter knife from the Gryffindor table she skinned Neville's face , knitting it into a clumsily constructed mask.

"Im Neville Longbottom woooo" Molly cackled as she mooned the shocked audience while wearing the mask. The aurors arrested Molly immediately.