I looked up at the black sky, the moon was high so I assumed it was around midnight, or possibly after midnight. I excelled at everything I did at Hogwarts, but if there was one subject that I wasn't as great at it was astronomy.
I shifted my position slightly, relieving my sore back and hung my legs over the side of the wall I was sitting up on. The air was thick with humidity even at this late hour and I yawned, feeling exhaustion creep into my mind. This wasn't an unusual feeling for me anymore, I could hardly sleep anyway. Just lay in my bed trying to escape the burning pain I felt until I passed out either from drinking too much or crying.
I sighed and looked over at the dark house I was watching. Dumbledore knew that this was a house Death Eaters were targeting, I hadn't bothered to ask who was inside. In the 5 or so hours I had been here, I hadn't seen anyone enter or leave.
The light summer breeze ruffled my hair and made the trees around me rustle, and I could vaguely smell blossoms in the air as I rested my head back on the wall behind me.
I heard the soft thud of bodies hit the wet ground beside me.
I sat up on my knees brushing wet grass off the front of my jumper.
"Ugh, this is new." I mumbled angrily wondering if Dumbledore had a compensation policy.
"Oh Meg," Lily giggled.
I looked around and got to my feet taking in where we had landed. We were on a dark grassy hill about 500 metres or so away from an ominous looking house. I watched James help Lily up and Sirius stood up squinting in the direction of the dark house.
"I can't see anyone," he whispered as we all looked over at the house as well.
"Yet" I added a chilly wind whipping around us, making me shiver.
"How close should we get?" James whispered as he moved to stand next to Sirius "Maybe Pads and I go towards the driveway and you girls see if you can see inside from those windows over there."
I gave James a reproachful look "I don't think it wise to split up"
"She's right, James," Lily said, wearing a worried expression as she peered at him and reached for his hand.
"But-" James started but Sirius spoke over him.
"Yeah, we should stick together Prongs" he said and James instantly fell quiet. I smiled to myself in satisfaction - for once Sirius agreed with me and not his best friend.
"We should get a bit closer though," I whispered.
Scattered nods went down the line and we all crept to the side of the dark house. As I went, I pulled my wand from the sleeve of my jumper and gripped it tight.
I flattened myself up against the wall and strained my ears trying to hear anything from inside.
Suddenly a loud popping echoed around the darkness as a dark figure appeared at the end of the driveway and instantly strode towards the front door. The figure withdrew a wand from inside their cloak and made a complex movement with it, put the wand away and proceeded to step through the door as though it was made of smoke.
I looked around at Lily, James and Sirius who were all standing behind me, their expressions giving me the sense they too were trying to hear from inside the house.
I pointed my wand at the wall and, hoping that the house walls hadn't been Imperturbed, I muttered "audite per".
Instantly voices could be heard as though we were standing next to them.
"I had hoped you would bring more useful knowledge," Voldemort's cold voice said.
"My Lord -" came my father's voice and I rolled my eyes at Lily who gave me a grim smile.
"The Order know they are being tailed and as Dumbledore continues to recruit it is becoming -"
"I don't need excuses Max -" Voldemort's voice was calm but laced with danger. "-what I need is answers."
There was a pause before my father answered "Yes of course my Lord."
There came another voice but this voice was booming and came from behind us, startling me.
"What do you think you lot are doing?" I spun around to see two people in long black cloaks. The man was huge with blonde hair and a narrow face, the woman had long muddy brown hair and a long scar that ran from her right eye across her nose and stopped just before her lip.
"Uhh we're just passing through," James said almost convincingly.
"Passing through?" The woman said her voice was high pitched and loud.
I glanced nervously up at the window. They would surely be able to hear her voice.
"Do you think we're stupid?" The man said.
"Well, yeah we do actually," Sirius replied.
Both of them reached inside their robes at the same time and pulled out their wands.
They pointed their wands at us without hesitation and I cried "Protego Maxima!"
Just as the shield went up in front of us, the Death Eater's curses bounced off of it, one hitting the wall above James' head and the other smashing into the window.
"Fuck," I cursed as I looked up hearing broken glass and metal crashing inside the house.
Footsteps came from inside the house and my father's hooded figure appeared, hanging out of the broken window looking down at us.
"Meghana?!" he roared.
"Run!" Sirius called, eyeing my father cautiously.
"Agreed," I said as I waved my wand and the shield charm vanished.
Curses began to fly from everywhere as we all started to run, ducking when necessary. I wasn't sure where we were running to but, it appeared to be a dark cul-de-sac, the moonlight shining off the wet road as my feet pounded the pavement.
I could hear Lily behind me and James and Sirius were ahead of me. I was beginning to run out of breath but the adrenaline pumping around my body was keeping me going.
A curse narrowly missed my head as it shot over me and also just missed James' shoulder. He spun around but kept moving backwards, laughing as Sirius skidded to a halt.
I stopped instantly as I spotted what made him stop and Lily ran into me. I grabbed her arm to stop her from falling over as James spun around and let out a cry of surprise.
Voldemort had appeared out of nowhere and was slowly gliding towards us.
"Meghana Megera," He called in a low, dangerous voice. My heart, which was already racing from running, started to thump harder in my chest. If he wanted me he could have me but he had to let the others go.
The Death Eaters behind us had finally caught up to us and as they spotted Voldemort, fell to their knees.
"Rosier," Voldemort was so close now, but appeared to ignore us and I saw Sirius give James a pointed glance.
"Snyde," Voldemort continued and I realised he was talking to the Death Eaters behind us. "Why are these children still alive?"
"My Lord - " Rosier started stammering.
"My Lord, please they were spying," Snyde said to the ground.
"I know," Voldemort said in almost a whisper looking directly at me. I stared into his disfigured face unflinching at his bloodied eyes.
"Now tell me, Meghana," He stepped towards me and grabbed my face with his white hand. His pointed fingers stabbing into my cheek "Why would you be spying on your father?"
"Let her go," Sirius snarled from my right.
Voldemort's eyes flicked to Sirius and his thin mouth twisted into a smirk. This momentary switch of focus was all I needed to flick my wand at Voldemort and send him stumbling backwards as my stunning spell hit him.
"Run!" roared James as he grabbed Lily's hand and pulled her out of harm's way as curses started to fly around us again.
"C'mon!" Sirius grabbed my hand and we ran in the opposite direction to Lily and James.
"Catch them!" we heard Voldemort scream from behind us.
A curse flew in between Sirius and I narrowly missing our arms. As I heard him laugh and I couldn't help but giggle myself, the adrenaline coursed through my veins. I shouldn't be enjoying this but the terror was somehow making me crazy.
We raced down a narrow alleyway in between two houses, the Death Eater's still behind us.
"They're still chasing us," I gasped at Sirius and he looked behind us to see where they were.
As we came to the opening of the alleyway, Sirius pushed me behind the left hand house and he jumped behind the right.
I realised what his plan was as I turned around and spotted him peering around the wall. I did the same and spotted the Death Eaters running towards us, maybe 150 metres away. They were not as fast as us and I wondered if they had seen where we went.
I leant back behind the wall and listened to the footsteps of the Death Eaters approaching fast. I glanced over at Sirius, who was grinning at me from across the alleyway.
As soon as the Death Eaters came into view, Sirius and I both raised our wands and shot stunning spells at them, hitting them each in the side of their head and they collapsed next to each other.
Breathing heavily, I stared at their unconscious bodies on the wet pavement as I tried to slow my thumping heartbeat.
"That was close-" I was interrupted by Sirius who stepped over the Death Eaters and grabbed my face and kissed me hard on the mouth.
I reciprocated hungrily, my mouth pressing against his and my arms snaking around his neck. I felt Sirius' hand curl around the back of my head as our kiss deepened and he used his body to push me backwards into the wall.
I needed him. Now. Right here.
We continued to kiss, devouring each other as I felt him smile against my lips as he lifted me up, pressing my body onto the cold bricks, his hands gripping the back of my thighs as I wrapped my legs around his waist. He started to kiss down my neck and my collar bone as I yanked his head up and I pulled him in even closer to my body, kissing and sucking on his lips, messily and desperately, needing to taste him. Needing all of him.
He pulled away from my lips and rested his forehead on mine. I wanted to stay here connected with him forever but as I felt raindrops splash onto my skin I said quietly "We should probably move those two." I nodded my head once in the direction of the Death Eaters on the floor. He gently put me down and we walked over to the unconscious people.
"What should we do with them?" Sirius asked bending over to observe Rosier.
I looked around and my eyes landed on an overgrown and unkempt bush.
"Let's just hide them in there," I said pulling out my wand and waving it over both of them "Wingardium Leviosa" they both rose into the air hovering just above the ground and I moved my wand in the direction of the bush where I ended the charm and they both landed hard on top of each other.
"Nice one," Sirius grinned at me and held his hand out for me to take.
We apperated back to Sirius' flat and were met by Lily and James who both had looks of extreme worry.
Shit, how long had we been? I thought to myself as I glanced up at Sirius.
Lily leapt at me, wrapping her arms around my neck.
"Oh my God Megs, we were so worried" she said as she let go, tears in her eyes.
"What happened?" James said his eyes wide with worry although his tense face had relaxed slightly. "We thought you were both right behind us!"
"Did they find you?" Lily asked, looking from me to Sirius.
Sirius ran his hand through his hair looking slightly guilty.
He opened his mouth but I cut over him, there was no way I was about to let him tell them that we took our time because we had to make out. They looked like they had been out of their minds with worry.
"Yes, they chased us for ages, but it was ok, we got away," I said laughing nervously looking up at Sirius who grinned and nodded.
James looked at Lily "See, I told you they'd be alright."
Lily looked on the verge of tears again and I reached out and touched her face "Lils," I said soothingly "We're fine."
"I know," she said, trying and failing to stifle a sob. She reached for Sirius' hand and mine, gripping them tightly "I just don't know what we'd do without you two. All we have is each other."
I looked up at Sirius who was frowning at James over Lily's head.
"You weren't really that worried, were you Prongs?"
James didn't say anything for a few seconds and then stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Sirius.
Sirius looked down at me biting his lower lip and gave James a one armed hug.
"That was too close," James said as he pulled away from Sirius.
"Yeah, it was close but we're all ok, mate," Sirius said grinning at James.
"Meg!?" A voice came from below me. I opened my eyes, and looked down. Remus was standing at the base of the wall looking up at me, worry etched all over his face.
I realised I had obviously fallen asleep, the memory I had dreamed about still fresh in my mind, a horrible sense of déjà vu flooding my senses.
"Are you alright?" He asked.
I frowned, but didn't answer as I jumped down, landing right beside him and surveyed him for a second. How did I even begin to answer his question? Of course I was not alright. But how did one put into words the gaping wound in my heart that used to occupy my husband?
"I'm fine," I said, my voice croaky and completely unconvincing.
Remus didn't reply straight away, he reached for my shoulder and peered into my face.
"I'm worried about you," he said softly, his grip on my shoulder tightening.
I shook my head and shrugged, "I'm fine," I repeated, again very unconvincingly.
I had been avoiding most everyone from the Order, especially Remus. I hadn't seen him for weeks and although I loved Remus a lot, seeing him now just reminded me of Sirius and I really didn't want to talk to anyone, let alone his only remaining best friend. His eyes were bright and I could feel the backs of my own eyes burning. I really did not want to be in this situation right now and I turned my back on him.
"I said I'm fine Remus," I said as I started to walk away.
"Meg." He pleaded with me. "You're not the only one who has lost him,"
I froze. Squeezing my eyes shut to stop the tears from falling. How dare he, I thought how dare he think that anyone else was in as much pain as I was. Sirius was my husband, my everything.
Yes, said that horrible voice that had kept talking to me this past month, He obviously meant so much to you that you spent the best part of 10 years believing he murdered your best friends…
"Meg, please." Remus' voice cracked and I spun around and saw tears running down his face. My heart broke for him as I realised how selfish I had been. I kept forgetting in my own grief that other people loved Sirius. I didn't mean to, it was just so all consuming that I couldn't think about anything else.
I took a couple of steps towards him and fling my arms around his neck. His arms curled around my back and we held each other for a few moments.
"I'm sorry Remus, I don't know what's wrong with me," I said as we broke apart.
"There isn't anything wrong with you," Remus said fairly "you're the only friend I have left, and I miss you,"
I wiped my face with the sleeve of my robes impatiently.
"We need you. I need you." he added.
I nodded and sniffed as I lent against the wall and sighed once more. Remus stood next to me and he laughed. I frowned and turned my head to him to look at him.
"What's so funny?" I asked, trying to decipher the expression on his face, which was useless because his face was partially hidden in shadows.
"Remember that time we all came back from that stakeout in Kent, and afterwards we all apperated to the Three Broomsticks and James and Sirius had that stupid competition to see who could drink the most?"
I smiled as I remembered, Sirius always instigated this stupid 'game' with James fully aware that James could never keep up with him.
"I don't think I've even seen Madam Rosmerta so angry," Remus went on. "Sirius always used to think he could sweet talk her," Remus turned his head to look at me.
"He usually could," I said chuckling, "-just not that night."
"Poor James" Remus added as we both chuckled and then fell silent, both lost in our memories. I turned my head away from Remus and started out into the darkened landscape.
"I miss him so much, Remus," I admitted, tears blurring my vision.
"I know." He replied softly.
"I still talk to him," I said, turning my head back to look at Remus. "He talks back to me. I can hear him so clearly."
Remus turned his head to look at me.
"Do you think I'll forget what he sounds like?"
Remus shook his head "No, Meg. I don't think so."
"I'm scared I will," I whispered, a tear falling down my cheek.
Remus reached over and grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight.
"What do you talk to him about?" He asked as he looked away from me and stared at the darkness in front of us.
I shrugged and gripped his hand back as I too looked at the darkness in front of us.
"Anything," I said, "Whatever I'm doing. Things I should have said before he …" I trailed off, not wanting to finish that sentence. I didn't need to anyway, Remus knew.
We stood there, hand in hand in silence until daybreak in silence. Nothing needed to be said, we just needed each other's company and to know that we were there for each other.