Sirius and Peter had left James shortly after Lily arrived back from her conversation with Dumbledore. Lily had cried as she had buried her face in her husband's shoulder, and James had carefully lifted a hand and stroked her hair. He hadn't asked what had upset her. They had talked too often over the past few days for any explanation to be needed.

Remus arrived close to dinner time, finding Lily reading a book. Lily placed a finger over her mouth and nodded towards James' bed. Remus' eyes widened slightly as he quietly made his way to a seat.

'He's asleep?' Remus whispered.

Lily nodded.

'Without..?'

Lily nodded again. No potions.

Remus looked younger than he had for weeks as he smiled over at Lily: 'That's great news.'

It was great news. James pain had been subsiding a little every day, but this was a big milestone.

Before, James would lie exhaustedly for hours, the pain keeping him from resting or falling asleep, and Lily had felt her heart shatter a little each time. She, and the others, had taken it in turns to talk quietly, soothingly, trying to keep James' mind from the aches and the stabbing pains. True, there had been fewer episodes in the last few days, but this here had to be the turning point where James could finally rest when needed. Seeing him asleep now, his chest rising and falling rhythmically, felt nothing short of wonderful.

With Remus by his side, Lily knew she could leave James and go home.

'I am not sure he'll be much fun, even if he should wake up,' Lily whispered apologetically, as she put the book in her bag. 'Dumbledore was here earlier, and he's been quite tired ever since.'

'I've always maintained that Padfoot and Prongs make for better company asleep,' Remus whispered, pulling out his own book. 'Safer company, at any rate.'

/

'Lily!' Fabian Prewett's voice rang out in the corridor just as Lily closed the door to James' room.

'Fabian!'

Lily turned to face him. The red-haired man was not alone. With him were three small boys, and a short red-haired woman who was unmistakably pregnant. The oldest boy, who couldn't be many years from starting at Hogwarts, lifted up his youngest brother, who must have been around three or four, so that they could better keep up with Fabian's hurried footsteps.

'Allow me to introduce you to my sister, Molly Weasley, and my nephews: William, Charles and Percy. Everyone, this is Lily Potter.'

The oldest boy seemed to scrunch his nose a little at the introduction.

'How are you?' Lily asked, taking Molly's hands.

'It's nice to finally meet you, dear,' Molly said, 'I've heard a lot about you and your husband from Fabian and Gideon.'

Although her voice was friendly enough, Lily felt the woman eyeing her body, and not liking what she saw. But maybe she was imagining it. Lily turned to the three boys, looking up at her. The oldest had put down his brother, and now stuck out a small hand.

'I am Bill,' he said politely. 'It's nice to meet you, Mrs Potter.'

'Nice to meet you too, Bill,' Lily said, shaking his hand, 'and please call me Lily.'

Seeing the children together, Lily suddenly felt a longing, not just to meet her unborn child, but also to ensure that this baby would have siblings. She knew that James, as an only child, was adamant that their child deserved at least one brother or sister, and even Lily agreed, despite her own failed experiences with Petunia. But both Lily and James knew that more children were out of the question until the war was over.

'And I am Charlie,' the second boy showed an equal amount of politeness - and confidence - as his older brother.

Lily smiled as she shook his hand. The third boy, however, hid behind his mother. Lily squatted so that her face was more on a level with his.

'So that means you must be Percy,' she smiled. He nodded, shyly.

'They are fine young misters,' Lily beamed at Molly as she got up, 'have they just been to see their uncle... or are you on your way now?'

'Actually,' Fabian said, 'I had planned to let Molly see Gideon with the children alone. I had hoped to catch James, if that doesn't interfere with your plans?'

Lily knew Fabian and James were good friends. Fabian, as the quidditch captain when Lily and James first joined Hogwarts, had taken a great interest in James, and while Lily had no impression that they had kept in touch after Fabian left school, she knew they had rekindled their friendship in the Order.

'Not this afternoon,' Lily said, hating herself as she watched Fabian's smile fade.

'Of course,' Fabian said, collecting himself.

'It's been a long day. He's tired - asleep in fact. Dumbledore was here earlier and -'

'Lily,' Fabian said, holding up a hand, 'it's fine. I get it. Truly.'

He turned to his nephews, who had been following the conversation: 'what do you say boys - you can't get rid of your uncle Fabian that easily. Come, let's see your second-favourite uncle together.'

'Fabian, can I... would it be too much if I joined you?'

Lily had wanted to see Gideon, but with James being so unwell, with the pregnancy, with the fight with Sirius, with everything that had gone on, she had not found the time. Now was as good a time as any.

Fabian's smile widened: 'Of course! Please come. Gideon adores you, you know that.'

'You don't think it will be too much, with the children and everything?'

'There's nothing to worry about, dear,' Molly said, as she took the hand of her youngest son, 'our Gideon is recovering well. The Healers think he will be out the day after tomorrow.'

'Is that so?' Lily asked Fabian, pleased at the news, but struggling to believe it.

'It is,' Fabian confirmed. 'Which is why I wanted to see James. It will be harder once Gideon is released.'

'Come tomorrow,' Lily offered. 'You know he loves your visits.'

'I will,' Fabian smiled.

As they neared what had to be Gideon's room, the two older boys started running towards it. So it wasn't their first visit, Lily thought. What a Christmas these boys have had.

'Boys! Behave yourself! And be quiet, there are other patients too."

Bill nodded solemnly: 'Sorry, mum.'

The two boys entered, followed by their mother and their youngest brother.

Fabian held Lily back: 'Just a moment, Molls.'

Molly looked curiously between the two, before letting the door close on them.

Lily let Fabian steer her slightly further down the corridor.

'Anything the matter?' Lily asked.

Fabian looked serious.

Then, suddenly wondering: 'Is it something I need to know about Gideon?'

'No, it's not that,' Fabian said, giving her a quick smile that didn't meet his eyes.

'Gideon is doing well. Really well. It's...' Fabian ran his fingers through his red hair, 'I just wanted to ask about James.'

He looked almost embarrased. Lily didn't know what to say, so she waited for Fabian to continue.

'How is he really doing, Lily?'

Lily looked into Fabian's brown eyes and saw the concern written there. And guilt. Lily remembered what Dumbledore had said about Fabian still feeling guilty about what had happened. She also remembered Remus' statement from that first, dreadful day. Fabian is beside himself with guilt.

'You've seen him,' Lily said, not sure what she could say.

'Yes, but only for short visits and not nearly as frequently as I would have liked.'

'Well, here I am, on my first visit to Gideon. You're doing well, Fabian.'

'Merlin knows you've had enough to deal with.'

'Your sister has three sons, is pregnant and manages to see her brother. My husband is on the same floor as Gideon and I've not managed to stop by even for five minutes. It's my fault Gideon is here in the first place.'

This wasn't meant to be about her, but Lily realised that she too felt guilty. She had never felt guilty about what had happened to James, but Gideon, that was her fault.

'Five sons,' Fabian corrected, apparently automatically, because he then said quickly: 'That's not the point.'

'Wait? She has five sons, and is expecting another child?'

'Is that a crime?'

In a way, yes. That woman couldn't have been more than ten years older than Lily and James. She could have fought with them. If Fabian and Gideon were her brothers, there was no way she lacked the talent. What she had to lack was the interest to fight this war.

'This Weasley husband, he's pureblood too, I presume.'

Fabian stared at Lily, shocked, but he didn't contradict her.

'Must be nice.'

Hearing her own words, Lily realised how cruel her thoughts had been. She thought about the three - no - five innocent children this lovely woman had. Was it wrong of Molly to prioritise her family above this war - wanting her children to be safe rather than living in constant danger?

'Shit, I didn't mean - Fabian... I - that was a terrible thing to say.'

To Lily's surprise, Fabian just put his big arms around her and pulled her into a hug.

'I am so so sorry, Lily. I forget, sometimes, that you don't have a choice in this war. What messed up world my ancestors have created - or watched being created - where people who are born to muggle parents can't get a job, can't live safely, can't start a family.'

Well, Lily thought, she could start a family, just not one that would be very safe.

Fabian's kindness was too much, and Lily felt her eyes burn as she pulled away.

'Still, it gives me no right to be angry with-'

'It gives you every right to be angry. And sometimes that anger is going to be misdirected. As long as we can agree it was misdirected, I say no harm done.'

'It was definitely misdirected,' Lily agreed. 'You've got an amazing family, Fabian, and if anything, I am sorry about how much pain I must have caused you and Molly and the children with Gideon being tortured. It should have been me.'

'You know that idea haunts me and Gideon both,' Fabian said, his face darkening. 'I am not sure what would have happened if it had been you and me with James and Sirius, but believe me when I say that I think we were saved that day by you being unwell.'

'That doesn't fill me with much confidence,' Lily said.

Fabian shook his head: 'Not because it wasn't you, but because it was Gideon. I couldn't have left anyone else when they were screaming like... that.' Fabian's voice broke slightly. Lily had heard people being tortured with the cruciatus curse before, and she knew full well how challenging it would have been to leave someone she loved in that situation.

'That sounds cruel, perhaps, but it was Molly I was thinking of. If I stayed, risking - no, throwing away - my life in an attempt to save my brother, instead of getting reinforcements for us all, she could have lost us both. I couldn't do that to her. But if it was you who had been tortured, I would have felt more daring, finding comfort in knowing she still had Gideon.'

'Sirius and James were delayed setting off,' Lily said, thinking back to her own conversation with Sirius, back before their disagreement. 'If they hadn't...'

Lily let the sentence hang in the air.

'There were so many ways this could have gone wrong,' Fabian agreed grimly. 'Or worse, I should say. It was hardly a success.'

'But Gideon is doing well now,' Lily reminded Fabian.

'He is.' Fabian agreed, still looking grim.

'Sirius told me there's no use dwelling on what could have happened.'

'Well,' Fabian's lips twitched weakly, 'you're the one feeling guilty it wasn't you, but Gideon, who was with me that night.'

'And you're the one who feels guilty about not getting to James and Sirius soon enough,' Lily said, 'but you saved them. If it wasn't for you - if it wasn't for Gideon - I'd be a widow before I was twenty.'

Lily had to put it like that. She couldn't bear to say that James would have died. Widow felt more distant, objective, and unreal.

'Look,' Lily continued, taking Fabian's hands. 'You're right to worry about James. We all do. He has had to climb a mountain since he was brought in here, and there's still such a long way to go, but he's getting better every day, and nothing indicates that he won't make a full recovery - just like Gideon. You'll see him tomorrow, and there's nothing stopping you from visiting once Gideon is released. You've known James since he was eleven years old.'

'You know,' Fabian said, 'when I saw James again, I couldn't believe how grown up he was. He was just this thirteen year's old kid when I left school, and there he was all of a sudden, engaged to be married, former quidditch captain and former Head Boy.'

'Yeah, none of us quite understood how he got that badge.'

'Gideon was in shock, I think,' Fabian laughed, 'saw it as a personal insult that the badge could ever have gone to James Potter, the trouble-maker-in-chief. But that's not the point.' Fabian looked serious again. 'The point is that for a moment I forgot you are all so young, because I was blinded by how much you had grown.'

'Everyone keeps telling me how young we are, but you're not that much older yourself,' Lily remarked.

'Maybe you're right,' Fabian agreed with a sad smile. 'Molls does complain we are too young to be fighting this battle. But who else?'

'Who else,' Lily agreed.

Who else indeed.

'I've kept you long enough from Gideon,' Fabian said after a pause, and together they headed to Gideon's room.

/

Fabian hadn't been lying, Gideon was doing alright. When they came in, they found him in a sofa by a window, rather than in his bed, entertaining the three boys, who also seemed to have caught the attention of some of the other patients. Lily rushed over to Gideon, who stood up somewhat gingerly, and without thinking she threw her arms around him. Fabian might be James' friend, but Gideon was hers.

Molly made some sort of protesting sound, but Gideon just pulled Lily in tighter, saying over her shoulder: 'It's okay, Molls.'

When they finally broke apart and Gideon sat down again, Lily finally found her voice and said: 'It's so good to see you. And you look... well... really well.'

Better than James.

She hadn't meant to imply it, but the truth was that Gideon didn't look that well. He was much thinner, his face had lost some colour and his eyes were tired, despite all appearances he must be putting on for his nephews. Compared to James, however, he looked like he had just come back from a muggle spa retreat.

'How's James?'

'He's doing well,' Lily said automatically.

'That's what Fabian keeps saying too, but neither of you are good liars.' Gideon studied her: 'Lily, when was the last time you had a real meal?'

'Gideon!' Molly exclaimed, looking scandalised. Her eyes were on her three boys, who had turned to chat to an elderly patient. The old man seemed delighted at a young audience for his stories.

'Lily doesn't usually look this much like a skeleton, Molls, and she knows it.'

'It's been a lot... with James and everything,' Lily admitted.

Molly's face softened, even as her eyes never wandered from her boys: 'I can't imagine how tough this must be for you, and so young too.'

Fabian threw Lily a side-ways glance that plainly said: told you so, before he sat down with the old man and the three children.

'You were unwell, weren't you?' Gideon asked.

'Yeah, well. That's all better now, but it took some time.'

'James being hurt can't have made your recovery any easier,' Gideon agreed sympathetically.

Fabian looked over his shoulder at the three of them in the sofa and said guiltly: 'Shit, I should have helped. Lily, I am -'

'Don't apologise, please. Not everything is your fault, Fabian - or your responsibility, and Merlin knows you've had enough to deal with too. Besides, I've had Peter and Remus... and Sirius.'

'Well,' Molly said, bracingly, when it became apparent that no one quite knew what to say: 'hopefully you will all have less to deal with soon.'

'Exactly,' Gideon agreed.

Yeah, Lily thought, just a baby. Easiest thing in the world.

'1980 is going to be our year,' Fabian said confidently. That Lily had to agree with.

Lily put her hands on her stomach, and noticed Molly doing the same. With a jolt of realisation, Lily thought of how this woman's child would be the same age as her own; how, in all likelihood, they would be at school together. And if Molly was anything like her brothers, and Lily's child was anything like herself and James, they would most likely end up in the same house. It was enough to make Lily want to confess that she was pregnant to Molly Weasley. But she didn't. Things could still happen, and Lily knew that not all pregnancies were successful.

With Gideon and Fabian as friends, Lily was confident she would have the opportunity to talk more to Molly in the future. Maybe, like she had known Severus before school, Lily could make sure that her child had friends before they boarded the Hogwarts express.

A/N

I had to get the Prewetts in there somehow. I also wanted to make sure Molly didn't meet James, as she might then have recognised Harry when she first met him.