Chapter Eight
Lucy was a goddess, no really she was. I can prove it. Rogue and I had finished getting the luggage into the ship when the girls came skipping up to us. I could practically taste their excitement. I wished I could look forward to the voyage half as much as they could.
"Why so glum, chum?" Lucy peered at me.
"Maybe because we're about to spend the next eight days vomiting up stomach acid."
"Ok, first of all, gross." She wrinkled her cute little nose. "Second of all, why?"
"Uh, we're dragon slayers, in case you forgot, Blondie. Remember the train?"
"Yea no duh." Wordsmith this one, can't believe she's a writer.
"But that was before we had…this!" She held up a little brown bag in triumph.
"Oh, right!…and what exactly is…that?" I lifted my brows at her, she probably bought some ginger root or something, like I hadn't tried that.
"This isn't something useless like ginger." I thought for a second she read my mind but, of course, Natsu. She was plenty familiar with dragon slayer motion sickness, she'd probably tried all natural remedies on him.
"Ok, what is it then?"
"It's a troia charm."
"A what?"
"Troia charm!" She exclaimed, like repeating the word a little louder would make me automatically know what it means. "It's basically a lacrima holding the same enchantment Wendy uses to cure Natsu's motion sickness."
And that, my friends, is why Lucy Heartfilia is a goddess. It was now day 5 of our trip, the captain said we'd had a favorable wind and would probably shave off a whole day of travel time but I didn't even care. For once I wasn't begging for the sweet release of death, vomiting my stomach contents over the railing. Rogue and I were able to actually enjoy the ride. You wear the lacrimas on a string around your wrist. They were pure white crystals, one on a black string, one on a white string. Bet you couldn't guess whose was who's? I wonder, if I ate it, would I be permanently cured? Hmmm, better not risk it. The trip had been uneventful so far. No fighting necessary, which was a shame really since it'd be my first time fighting on a boat. But we were in a hurry so I guess it was a good thing.
I came out to the deck to get some fresh air, and ok, maybe I was hoping I'd bump into Lucy. What? I just wanted to thank her for the lacrimas…again. I found her lying on the deck, feet propped up against the railing, probably counting the stars or just searching for Aquarius again. I was just about to walk over to her and ask to join her when I heard Minerva hissing my name.
"Yeah, what is it?"
She stepped out of the shadows, her eyes swept over me and gods if looks could kill I'd be dropping dead right now.
"You're not gonna go bother poor Lucy, are you?"
"Why, you jealous?" Shouldn't have said that. She narrowed her eyes at me.
"Alright, fine," she said. "Maybe I am a little jealous." Huh?
"Huh?"
"I don't care that you're into her, Sting. I think both you and I know that ship has sailed for us, so to speak. But I am a little jealous of how close you two are." She'd barely said more than a few words to me since she found me and Lucy in the courtyard. I knew Minerva didn't want a real relationship with me, that was pretty much the whole reason things had been so awkward with us for so long. I thought it was more like she marked her territory or something. If she couldn't have me in whatever way it was she wanted no one could. I didn't have a reply.
"Look, Sting, what I did to you was…" she looked like she was searching for the right word.
"Despicable." That was a good one.
"Really, it wasn't how I went into it, I didn't go to you that night intending to screw with your head with a power play…it's just…my natural reaction to intimacy I guess. I don't know, but I regret it every day." Does this mean she…did she want to give it another shot? I squirmed uncomfortably and my eyes darted over to Lucy.
"I think you know as well as I we would've been…ill suited for each other." So…she didn't want to give it a go?
"It's probably for the best that it got cut off so quickly, but I'm sorry it happened in a way that hurt you so badly. I'm just…I'm jealous because I miss my best friend." I was totally stunned, first that she ever thought highly enough of me to consider me a friend, and second that she would admit to feeling anything at all.
"Yeah," I said. "I miss you too….so is that why you're so mad at me?"
"No. I'm mad because I don't want you playing with Lucy's head. And don't—" she put her hand on my mouth to keep me silent.
"Don't say you'd never do anything like that because I've watched you do just that with an entire army of women the last four months."
I wanted to disagree, but I knew she was right. I'd been using mindless, meaningless sex to try to get over my feelings for her. Doing to those women exactly what was done to me.
"Why did you even want to come? Why do you care so much about Lucy?" The rest of my question went unasked but it floated between us. Especially after how you treated her.
"I came because I wanted to apologize to her. I really am trying to be the person I think I was always meant to be and not the person Jiemma made me into."
"Yeah, I know the feeling." She gave me a sad smile.
"He really did a number on us. But I thought I owed it to her to apologize in person and if I could do some good, even better. It's not that I really cared about Lucy, I mean I do now, but…it's hard to explain…"
"Try." She nodded, gathering her thoughts.
"I care that she's a good person, I care that she has a light shining inside her that just won't go out no matter what she faces. Even though it's looking a little dim right now. At first I just cared about doing the right thing…I guess now I do care for the girl I've come to know. She's a good person, Sting. Better than either of us. I don't care that you want Lucy, I just…She's been through so much and even if her heart can take being broken by the Almighty Sting Eucliffe, it shouldn't have to."
I have never in my life heard Minerva Orland ever say such nice things about another human being that didn't involve even one single word about how powerful they are. I told her as much.
"Yes, well," she laughed. "I have a feeling Lucy is a lot more powerful than people give her credit for, but her true strength lies in how she changes the lives of those around her. Maybe…maybe I'm a little jealous of her heart too." She looked down at the rough planks beneath our feet, studying them like Lucy studies the stars.
"Minerva, I don't want to play with Lucy."
"You don't?" She looked shocked and I'm not gonna lie, I was a little offended.
"No! I mean…do I…want her? Yea I do, I mean look at her…." My voice trailed off as I did just that…
"Earth to Sting," she snapped her fingers in front of my nose. "You're really not making a good case for yourself right now." I laughed.
"I know, I know. What I mean is any warm blooded male is gonna look at a girl like her and have…thoughts. But 99% of my thoughts about her aren't…that. I'm just…I'm not sure…intrigued by her, maybe?"
"You're sure you're not just intrigued to see Natsu's reaction when he finds out?"
"There's nothing to find out, Minerva we haven't done anything—" "Yet." I let out a growl at the interruption.
"We haven't done anything," I repeated. "And I'm not sure we should. I mean I want to but…what if she doesn't? Besides...I don't wanna hurt her, I wanted to keep my distance til I sorted my head…but I can't stop thinking about…ugh this is hard." She put her warm hand on my crossed arms and gave me a comforting squeeze.
"It's ok, Sting. I think I get it…with Lucy…it's different, right?"
"Yeah," I breathed. "And besides…fuck Natsu. He isn't here! He left her to fend for herself in a big city, without a guild to protect her or help her make ends meet. I owe Natsu a beat down regardless of what happens or doesn't happen with Lucy." Minerva pursed her lips and "tsk'd." I gave her a quizzical look.
"Ask her about it, not now but, when the time is right. It's not what you think. It's not my place to share, I'm…trying to be a good friend. But I think you should talk to her about it." I nodded my understanding.
"Anyway, I give you permission to speak with Lucy without me being a bitch now that I know you're not gonna be an asshole." I laughed again, I loved blunt Minerva.
"Thanks." A beat passed and another and before the silence could really settle Minerva gave me a hard shove in Lucy's direction with a hissed "go" and my feet carried me straight to her.
I stood back a little, just watching her for a moment. She had a notebook lying beside her, little scribbles and dots covering the top sheet, but she wasn't writing at the moment, she was just staring up at the sky, lost in the Celestial world.
I cleared my throat so she knew I was there, I didn't want to scare her.
"Hey," I said.
"Hey." Oh good one Sting, real conversation starter. Stupid Minerva putting ideas in my head, I hadn't had any trouble chatting with Lucy since we got on the boat and now…I tried again. "Mind if I join you?" She shook her head and flicked her eyes in my direction, they were practically glowing in the starlight. I took off my jacket and settled down next to her, careful not to disturb her notes. Then I spread my jacket over her to ward off the cold breeze.
"Thanks," she mumbled. Well, it was a start.
"So…uh…" Fuck this was awkward. Come on, I am one smooth motherfucker, mostly without even trying. I can do this.
"Can I see Aquarius' full body tonight?" Wow, I mentally slapped myself. Was that a fucking pick up line? Luckily she just giggled at my blunder, the evening breeze picking up the notes and carrying them away. "I mean—"
"I know what you meant, and yes, you can. She's right there." She flicked her hand to the sky and quickly laid it back down. I knew it would be impossible to match that intimate moment we had in that courtyard, but I needed to try. I slid my hand underneath hers and gave her a little nudge.
"Show me?" I asked.
She picked up my hand again, looking way less eager than she had the other night and lifted it to the sky. This time she traced the form for me, starting with the little urn, around the tail, down an arm. I felt little jolts of electricity everywhere our skin touched, just like the other night. I'd never felt anything like that before. Trembles, yes, goosebumps, frequently. But these little sparks were a new one and I was for sure here for it. I wonder if she felt them too. I was so wrapped up in my head I almost missed it, a tiny shooting star looked like it fell from the urn, another passed by the tail making it look like she flicked it. Wow…
"Yeah," she startled me. I didn't think I said that out loud.
"Sometimes, when I'm watching her, a star will shoot by just like that, at just the right angle, it almost feels like she's saying hello, like she knows I'm watching."
"I bet that's exactly what it is." I saw one corner of her mouth tug up in almost the shape of a smile for just a moment, before her bottom lip trembled and a single tear tracked down her cheek. It looked almost silver in the moonlight, like a shooting star falling down her cheek.
I only hesitated for a moment before I threw all caution out the window, fuck it, I thought. I leaned over her and with my right hand, since my left was busy clutching hers, and gently wiped the tear away. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, but I must have fucked up somehow because immediately the tears were flowing.
"Shit, Lucy, I'm so sorry….I-I-I didn't mean to make you cry."
"N-nno, it's not you," she sniffled. I felt relief wash through me for a moment before I realized she was probably thinking about Aquarius or...maybe Natsu again. I felt that unwelcome jealousy building up in me for a moment before I mentally smacked myself. I was being a selfish ass again. Who cares why she's crying, she's in pain you idiot….
"You don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to," I swallowed my nerves. "Just…I'm here for you if you change your mind."
"Thanks, Sting," my name from her lips was like music to my ears. Damn it, I was starting to sound like Rogue. What was this chick doing to me?
She wiped the tears from her face, releasing my hand so she could use both of hers. I felt a small pang at the loss of contact but I was still leaning over her, my weight on my hand, resting next to her hair against the ship's planks. I could feel the rough wood against my fingers, every imperfection was like imprinting on my skin.
For some reason every nerve in my body, every sense, was on high alert, I could feel, hear and smell everything. The rapid beating of her heart was pounding in my ears, or, maybe that was mine? I couldn't tell. But I could hear every shuddering breath she took, feel the warm exhales against my skin as I gazed down at her and a shudder ran up and down my spine with every shaky inhale.
I wanted to say more, I wanted to comfort her with my words because I knew she didn't want the type of comfort my body was aching to give her, but there was a lump in my throat and I couldn't get any words out…not that I really knew what I wanted to say, I just knew I wanted to say something. Anything, to put a stop to her tears, to calm her. I was aching to pull her close and hold her to me, I wanted to rock her back and forth and rub soothing circles on her back. I wanted to press my lips against her hair and keep her close while she cried out all her anger, fears, heartache, whatever. Fuck, what was this chick doing to me?
She gripped my jacket and pulled it up to her chin, but she didn't make any move to get me away from her, so I took that as a sign that my position wasn't unwelcome. Her fingers caressed the fur of the collar, and I think the motion was calming her down because her breathing was getting steadier and the tears had slowed to a gentle flow instead of the waterfall from earlier.
I couldn't help it, I had to touch her again. I leaned my weight on my now free left arm and gently ran my right hand through her hair. She stiffened for a second before her body seemed to relax into my touch, head tilting into my caress. The strands felt like silk in my hand and I gently worked my fingers through them, marveling at the smoothness of her locks. I heard her breath hitch in her throat and I swallowed around my own still growing lump.
"You know," I whispered, hoping my breath felt like the same gentle caress hers did. "You're even more beautiful in the starlight, I think." I couldn't pull my eyes away from hers but I could still see the flush spread up from the collar of my coat all the way to her cheeks. I briefly wondered where else on her I could find that gorgeous color.
My hands ached to hold her even closer, and I thought for a second about what we must look like to anyone coming on deck. We probably looked like I was about to kiss her…kiss her…KISS HER…the words beat a steady drum in my head, impossible to ignore. I leaned in a little, I didn't even know when I made the decision to do it, if I even did, her lips were like a magnet to me, pulling me closer and closer.
"You know," she said, my lips were barely an inch from her own but her words stopped me in my tracks. "This really is a really ridiculous jacket."
"I know," I whispered, refusing to pull away despite her subject change, she didn't say no, I reasoned. She was probably just as nervous as I was. Judging by the rapid thump thump thump I was now sure was coming from her chest I was probably right on the money.
"It suits my ridiculous personality, but it's warm." There was nothing between us now, I closed my eyes, preparing to dive right in, taking just a moment to fully engulf myself in all things Lucy.
"It doesn't even have sleeves, Sting."
"Easier to show off my best assets, Lucy, besides that's what the gloves are for." I flexed my arms, showing her what I meant. Her giggle was just a breathy flutter against my face, and I basked in its warmth.
"You're not wearing them now."
I moved my hand to her cheek, and caressed her with the back of my fingers, trailing down her jaw, to her chin, letting my thumb glide across her bottom lip.
"Can't do that with gloves on," releasing her chin.
Fuck it, I thought as her eyes widened, show time.
When our lips met it was like getting struck by lightning. Cliche, I know, but it was the most accurate description I could think of. At first it was just a feather light touch, my lips moving gently against hers, a soft, teasing caress. I wanted more, of course I want more. But I didn't want to spook her. I kept my mouth slightly parted, brushing my lips against hers, I wanted her to open for me but I wasn't about to force her. It was enough, for now it was enough. At least I thought so until her arms suddenly wrapped around my neck and pulled me roughly against her, our lips clashing together with so much force it was almost painful…almost. I firmed my balance with my left hand and slid my right under her to support her head, pulling her even closer.
I'd kissed a few girls before this…ok, more than a few. But honestly, I never felt anything like what I felt with Lucy, her body pressing into me, her lips moving against mine, her tongue sliding into my mouth and gently caressing my own. She pulled back a little and I thought we had gone too far, my heart nearly stopped, thinking she was gonna push me away. It's beating resumed when I realized she was trying to get air. But I didn't need any. It felt like my body could survive off just her kisses, the feeling of her fingers drifting through my hair, the slight pleasure pain when she gave my locks a firm tug.
I couldn't get enough. I took the opportunity to adjust the angle and position of our bodies, sliding my knee between her legs and leaning my thigh into her. Her back bowed as she arched up to meet me, increasing the pressure against my thigh. Fuck, what was this girl doing to me? I felt myself harden in response to her heat, her scent. My pants growing uncomfortably tight. Our lips were locked together once again, she trapped my bottom lip between her teeth and gave a gentle tug.
"Fuck, Lucy…" her name came out as a moan but I meant as I prayer, to her, or the spirits of the stars watching over us, I didn't know. But I was begging whoever was listening to not let this end. Please, don't let this stop.
Whoever was listening was either super pissed at me or just wanted to fuck with us, because right when things were getting even more interesting everything came to a crashing halt. Lucy had just moved one of her hands to my chest, not pushing me away, pulling me closer, tugging on my shirt before sliding her hand down my chest, her hot little fingers had just started tracing the outlines of my abs when out of nowhere the ship rolled and an ice cold wave came crashing over the railing, drenching us from head to toe. Luckily, for Lucy, my body took the worst of it, protecting her small frame underneath me.
We separated with a quiet smacking sound. Both of us totally stunned. I looked down at her, wanting to check if she was ok. I didn't need to worry though, she had a huge grin on her face and she burst into laughter as soon as she looked at me. My hair probably looked completely ridiculous, so I gave my head a little shake and a flip, sprinkling water all over her.
"Hey!" She laughed.
"What?" I tried to sound innocent but I think the eyebrow wiggle undermined that a bit.
"Who needs a cold shower, right?"
"Right," I sighed, leaning my head down and pressing my forehead against hers, I rested my hand on the crown of her head, rubbing my fingers in her hair.
She froze instantly, as if the cold water had turned to ice and stopped every movement of her body.
"Lucy?" I didn't even try to keep the concern out of my voice. She pushed against my chest, forcing me off her. I lost my balance and landed with a thud on my ass.
"Lucy, wha-?"
"Sting, I can't." Can't? Can't what? I got to my knees and reached out to her, wanting to pull her close and ask her what she meant but she hopped to her feet and they carried her out of my reach.
"I-I'm so sorry," she covered her mouth with her hand, shaking her head back and forth.
"Sorry….Sting…I just..I can't." And she turned on her heel and rushed through the door leading below deck. Leaving me there on my knees, hand still outstretched, and a look on my face like my heart was just shattered in my chest. Hell, I think it really did.
A/N Who else thought Minerva was gonna be a bitch and tell Sting Lucy was thinking of Natsu when he left her in the courtyard? Just me? She reassured Sting it was ok to want Lucy if it was for the right reasons. Now he knows what he wants. But what's up with Lucy? FYI: Yes the Troia charms are a copout…I learned from Mashima XD