A/N: Welcome back, my wonderful readers! Here we see Abbey trying to cope with her anxiety about the future, Sara tells Abbey a secret, and Jed provides some much-needed assurance.
It had taken longer than Abbey would have liked, but the slight disagreement between herself and her mother had finally been resolved, and as March drew to a close, she began to feel more than a little anxious. There was, of course, the usual nervousness that always occurred when finals were approaching, but with graduation on the horizon, she was also dealing with the uncertainty of completely leaving behind the only life she'd ever known. To say nothing of the fact that she would be married to Jed, living in a foreign country, just the two of them doing everything they could to defy the odds.
She knew Jed had noticed the re-emergence of her anxiety, but rather than press her to talk about it, he was thankfully giving her the space to work through it on her own. He was always there if she decided that she wanted to discuss her thoughts, but for now at least, it was best to try to find comfort in the fact that finals would soon be over, and she had been studying endlessly. Best to handle one problem at a time.
Fortunately, she had gone over the material for each final so thoroughly that she could recite most (if not all) of it from memory, so it was easier for her to concentrate on this nervousness rather than what she felt when she considered life after graduation. The only thing she was truly certain about was marrying Jed. Everything else was simply too overwhelming to think about and—
"Abbey, did you hear what I said?"
She jumped, glancing at Millie apologetically, shaking her head slowly.
"Sorry, Millie. I was just lost in thought. What did you say?"
"Did you hear that they're letting people take practice exams to prepare for finals? I know how nervous you get before taking them, so I thought maybe if you did that, it might make you feel a little better."
"Really? That's amazing! Is there a deadline?"
Millie shook her head.
"Nope. You can take them as many times as you want, all the way up until the day before the finals. I'm surprised Jed didn't tell you."
Abbey laughed.
"Jed's head is so wrapped up in numbers preparing for his math final that I'm amazed it hasn't exploded yet. He's been studying so much that I would bet money he dreams about numbers now."
"You should suggest that he become an accountant, just to see how he reacts."
"Millie, you are positively evil, and I love you for it."
As she finally closed the large book in front of her, Abbey ran her hand through her hair, blinking tiredly. One look at Jed was enough to tell her that he was just as exhausted as she was, and when she reached out to take his book from his hands, he frowned.
"What's wrong?"
"It's almost midnight, babe," she pointed out, nodding her head at the clock.
"Is it?"
He turned to look at it, shaking his head in bewilderment, and when Abbey tipped over into his lap, he laughed quietly.
"Sweetheart, what do you use as a pillow when I'm not here?" he asked dryly.
"Shut up, smartass," she muttered, "I'm about ninety percent sure that I've memorized enough textbooks to murder you with top-grade medical precision."
"Only ninety percent? Sounds like you need to hit the books again."
"Jed, I swear to God if you don't shut up, I will kill you. And I'll do it happily."
He laughed as he leaned down to kiss her hair, and when she turned her head enough that she could kiss him properly, she moved to an upright position, never once breaking the kiss. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, and as she finally pulled away, she gave him a smile.
"If that's the reward I get for threatening your life, I'll do it more often."
"I told you, you're sexy when you're bossing me around," he replied, "Just don't do it every day."
"And how do you plan on stopping me?" she asked, raising her eyebrow in question, "Are you going to put—"
He kissed her again, effectively stopping her words, and as his tongue danced over hers, he ran his fingers through her hair.
"Did it work?" he asked the moment he had stopped.
She nodded, her eyes slightly dazed.
"Hell yeah, it worked. I hate to be the one to break this up babe, but it's after midnight now."
"True," he agreed, "We should probably at least attempt to sleep."
"By the way, are you going to take any of the practice exams?"
He frowned, thinking as he reached for the light on her nightstand, pulling her into his arms the moment she had climbed under the blanket next to him.
"Probably. God knows I can use all the help I can get in math."
"Honey, I think the entire universe knows that about you by now," Abbey quipped, kissing him lightly.
"Hush," he replied, tapping her gently on the tip of her nose, "I thought you wanted to go to sleep?"
"I am, but I have to tease you at least once a day, otherwise my life will be incomplete."
Jed laughed, rolling his eyes as she tucked her head under his chin, and when he spoke again, his voice was a soft whisper in the darkness.
"I love you, Abbey."
"I love you, too," she murmured, clearly on the edge of sleep.
It was, in Jed's humble opinion, the most perfect way to end (or begin) a day.
Nothing could have prepared Jed for the way Abbey ran towards him, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him so hard that it was only Jeremy's hand on his shoulder that kept him from toppling backward onto the ground.
"Thanks," he said to Jeremy as soon as he was able, looking at Abbey in confusion as he let go of her, "What was that about? Not that I mind, but you don't often throw yourself at me like something out of an old Hollywood movie."
"I got a perfect score on the practice final for Anatomy!" she said, her voice shaking with excitement.
Jed smiled, kissing her again, and when Jeremy held out his hand, she shook it enthusiastically.
"Congrats, doc. But don't you think Jed should get at least some of the credit?"
Abbey frowned, confused.
"What? Why?"
"Well…" Jeremy began, a grin spreading across his features, "we all know it was his anatomy you were studying, so it seems only fair that he gets credit."
Abbey burst into laughter, shaking her head as Jed rolled his eyes, throwing his arm around her shoulders, ignoring Jeremy's remark.
"That's fantastic, babe. I told you that you could pass it with your eyes closed."
"Yeah, because she's been studying in the dark and—"
"Jeremy, if you finish that sentence, I'll shred every one of your cigarettes and make you watch," Jed threatened.
"Okay, okay," Jeremy said, holding up his hands in surrender, "No need to get hostile, Bartlet. Don't take your frustrations out on my innocent cigarettes."
Abbey laughed again, her eyes lighting up when she noticed something in the distance, and when she waved suddenly, Jed frowned in confusion.
"Sara!"
Sara turned, smiling when she saw them, and as she walked closer, she waved, her steps light.
"Hi, Abbey! Hi, Jed! How did the practice test go?"
Jed smiled, pulling Abbey closer.
"Let's just say that I'm going to be married to the smartest doctor in the world."
Abbey rolled her eyes.
"Jed," she scoffed, "the world? Really?"
He nodded.
"Damn right. Passed it with flying colours."
"That's great! Good job, Abbey!"
"Thanks," Abbey said with a laugh, "Hey, how did your date go with the cute boy from Chem?"
Sara shook her head.
"Don't ask. I think we're better off as classmates, to be honest. He was nice, but…there was just something missing, does that make sense?"
"Definitely," Abbey replied, "Been there, done that."
Jed frowned.
"I beg your pardon, Abigail?"
"Not you, you egotistical jackass," she snapped jokingly, "You are aware that I've dated other people, aren't you? Or have you forgotten Ron?"
"Wish you would forget Ron," he muttered.
"Josiah Bartlet, are you seriously jealous of the fact that I dated Ron for six months before I dated you?"
"Nine months, Abbey. That's almost an entire year."
"Congratulations, babe," she said sarcastically, "All that studying for finals has finally paid off. And, if you check your math again, you'd realize that I've been dating you for nearly four years now, so who do you think matters more?"
Ignoring Jed's grumbling protests, Abbey smiled at Sara, rolling her eyes in a way that was obvious she was joking.
"Don't pay any attention to Jed, he's just pouting. Hey, if you aren't busy, would you like to go grab a cup of coffee? We can talk about the boys and engage in pointless female gossip."
Sara smiled.
"Sure, why not? I could use a break from practice finals myself."
Abbey threw her arm around Sara's shoulders, waving her fingers at Jed as they walked away.
"Bye, babe. Love you! Bye, Jeremy!"
As he watched Abbey walk away, Jed shook his head, glancing at Jeremy once before speaking.
"What just happened?"
Jeremy sighed, clapping him on the shoulder.
"You just got ditched for girl talk, Bartlet. What do you say we go have a drink? Take a break from the books?"
Jed nodded, laughing quietly.
"Sounds like a great idea."
"August? Abbey, that's so soon! It's five months away!"
Abbey laughed, reaching for her coffee, taking a careful drink of the scalding liquid.
"I know. My mother was less than thrilled about it, even though she loves Jed, but to be honest, that's the only thing I'm feeling even remotely certain about."
"What? You're doing amazing in everything, though."
"For now. Once I leave school, who's to say I won't fall flat on my face? What if I have my heart set on Harvard and I don't get accepted? What if I hate living in London? There's just so many things, big things, that are about to change, and I'm kind of panicking a little bit about it."
Sara nodded, looking at her seriously.
"Have you talked to Jed about it?"
"Not yet," Abbey sighed, "I will as soon as finals are over. We're both doing everything we can just to pass them, so once we can think more clearly, I'm going to tell him."
"Good. Now, on a lighter note, who was the guy with Jed? His name is Jeremy, right?"
Nodding, Abbey gave her a knowing smile, laughing quietly as she sipped her coffee.
"Yes, it is. Why the sudden interest in my fiancé's roommate? Does someone have a little crush?"
"No!" Sara protested, a little too forcefully, "I just…we met late last year when I literally ran into him, and…Abbey Barrington, wipe that smirk off your face!"
To her credit, Abbey tried valiantly to keep from smiling, though it was clear to anyone who had given her even a passing glance that she was failing, and she nodded at Sara.
"And?" she asked, her tone deliberately leading.
"And…he's cute, that's all. You said he's Jed's roommate. You must have spent a lot of time together over the last three years. What's he like?"
Abbey smiled. How could she describe Jeremy?
"He's a good person," she answered finally, "He tries to hide his insecurities by joking around and pretending that he doesn't care about what people think, but he's a really sweet guy once you get to know him. He'd die for Jed, and I think that says a lot about who he is as a person."
Sara nodded, looking at her seriously.
"Is he seeing anyone?"
"Ha! I knew it! Sara Tyler, you have a crush on Jeremy! I knew it!"
Abbey started to laugh, ignoring the looks of the people who turned to look in their direction, and Sara rolled her eyes.
"Fine, you knew. Congratulations, Abbey. Now, answer the question."
"No."
"No, you won't answer, or no is the answer?"
"Yes," Abbey replied with a smile.
"Abbey!"
"No, he isn't seeing anyone. I could try to see if he might be interested, but I'm not going to make any promises. Actually, I have an idea. Come on."
Finishing her coffee in one go, Abbey waited for Sara to stand, and after they had returned their cups to their proper places, she nodded her head in the direction of Jed's dorm. Sara's eyes suddenly widened, and Abbey laughed, hooking her arm through the younger girl's slowly.
"Don't worry. No one ever pays me any attention when I'm in there."
She led her into the building, quickly passing through the common area, and as she made her way down the hallway to Jed's room, she gave Sara a reassuring smile. Knocking lightly on the door, Abbey could sense Sara's nervousness at being in the room, but when she gave her a hug, she visibly relaxed.
"I'll be right here the whole time."
"This is kind of exciting," Sara said, "I mean, technically, we're breaking the rules right now."
"Oh, honey…" Abbey said with a low laugh, "If you only knew the half of it. Jed and I have broken every possible rule in the book over the last three years. Repeatedly."
The door opened, Jed giving Abbey a confused look as he stepped back to allow them in, and as they walked into the room, Jeremy frowned.
"You two get tired of gossiping about us already?"
Abbey nodded, reaching out to take Jed's glass from his hand, tipping it back quickly.
"Yeah, it turns out making fun of you isn't as fun when you aren't around to hear it."
"Don't be cute, Abigail," Jed said, taking his glass back, "and get your own damn drink."
"Jed Bartlet, you watch your damn language!" she chastised him jokingly, "There are ladies present."
"Begging your pardon, Sara," Jed said, giving her a mock bow.
Sara laughed and Abbey glanced at Jeremy, her eyes puzzled.
"Jeremy, how many glasses of scotch has my darling fiancé consumed?"
"About three," Jeremy said, holding out a glass to her, "You're gonna want to catch up, doc. Sara, would you like a drink?"
"Just one," she answered with a smile, "I've got finals coming up, so…"
"You sound like these two," Jeremy laughed, "Don't worry. Spend enough time with me, and I'll corrupt you just like I did with Jed."
"It's true," Jed replied, his words slightly slurred, "He's a terrible influence."
"Hey, I wasn't the only one. Abbey's the one who made you give up being a priest, not me. She's the reason you're a sex fiend who abandoned God."
Jed burst out laughing, pulling Abbey in for a kiss, lightly clinking his glass against hers.
"And I'm thankful for her every damn day of my life. But I didn't abandon God, just the priesthood."
"Yeah, 'Father Jed' just doesn't sound right. And 'Father Josiah' makes it sound like we live in the 1500s," Jeremy pointed out.
"And I didn't make Jed give up being a priest," Abbey said indignantly, "He did that on his own. I tried to talk him out of it, as a matter of fact."
"She did," Jed confirmed, taking another drink, "but no such luck. From the moment I met her, I knew I could never be a priest."
Abbey rolled her eyes, shaking her head in amusement.
"You always say that."
"And yet you still don't believe me," Jed said in mock offense, "My feelings are severely hurt, Abigail. How could you ever doubt my honesty? Especially where my love for you is concerned?"
Sara laughed, nodding at Abbey.
"He does have a point," she said lightly, "Ask anyone on campus and even the people who have never met Jed would say that the one thing they know is that he loves you. You're like a modern-day Romeo and Juliet."
"They both died," Jeremy pointed out.
"Okay…you're like…the extremely smart version of Lucy and Ricky Ricardo. You annoy each other, but you adore one another more than anything else in the world, and no matter what situation you're in, you're in it together."
"God help me if Abbey ever decides to work in a candy factory…" Jed muttered.
Abbey emptied her glass, reaching for the bottle of scotch, and as she poured herself another drink, she laughed quietly.
"I could always try to bake bread from scratch. All you need is thirteen cakes of yeast."
The laughter that reverberated throughout the room made her feel more relaxed than she had in weeks.
Sometime after eleven, Sara excused herself to head to her room, and when Jeremy offered to walk her back to her room, Abbey smiled into her drink, feeling that the evening had gone very well. She could feel Jed watching her, knew he was dying to ask her about why she had brought the younger girl without warning, but she ignored his questioning look, laying languidly across his bed.
"Abbey, are you going to tell me w—"
"Jed, I'm laying in your bed, considerably tipsy at the moment, and we're alone. Do you really want to waste this opportunity by talking?"
"It won't take long for Jeremy to come back," he reminded her.
Abbey sat up, beckoning him closer, and when he joined her on the bed, she kissed him hard, her alcohol-infused tongue finding his with ease.
"Then you'd better make it count," she whispered.
He kissed her again, moving her hair to one side with a sweep of his hand, and when his lips moved to her throat, Abbey reached for his shoulder, pushing him back gently.
"Jed, wait."
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she assured him, "I just…I need you to do something for me."
"Okay…" he said slowly.
"Tell me we're doing the right thing."
Wait. That hadn't been what she'd planned on saying at all. What was wrong with her?
"What do you mean?"
"I…never mind. That wasn't what I meant to say."
He looked at her, for once thankful for the alcohol in their systems, knowing that they likely wouldn't have had this conversation otherwise.
"Maybe not, but you said it. Are you nervous about getting married? I'm pretty sure that's common. Loads of people—"
"No, that's the one thing I am sure about," Abbey clarified, "It's everything else that I'm terrified of. Moving so far away from the only home I've ever known, no immediate plan for what's next, and I…Jed, I've always planned everything out, even something as simple as breakfast in the morning. Not having a next step is kind of freaking me out. I'm not used to doing things without a schedule or doing them spontaneously, I don't know how, and if I can't plan for something, that just means that I have a higher chance of completely ruining it or failing."
She stopped, looking at him seriously, her eyes bordering on desperation.
"Tell me that I'm being stupid. Or tell me that we're going to be okay. Or that I'm making this into more of a problem than it really is, or—"
Each word was faster than the one before it, her voice shaking as she spoke, and Jed reached for her hand, hoping to calm her down, even just a little.
"Abbey, honey, shh…you're going to make yourself sick. Take a breath, okay? Just slow down for a moment."
She nodded, taking a slow breath, and Jed ran his thumb lightly over the back of her hand, his voice soft.
"I'm not going to tell you that you're being stupid, because you aren't. It's perfectly normal to feel anxious or nervous when your entire life is about to change, and no one in the world would blame you. And when you stop to think about it, this is exactly why Dr. Harris suggested you take time off before applying to Harvard. You need to figure out how to live without planning every moment or for every possible outcome. Because sometimes, you can make every right choice there is and still fail. It doesn't mean you're a failure, but it does happen. And believe it or not, I'm nervous, too. I've never lived in a foreign country before, much less gone to school in one, and we're going to need money while we're there, so I'm going to also be working, it's a big adjustment, but we'll figure it out. One way or another."
"You're nervous?" she asked softly.
"Scared to death," he replied with a small smile, "but I know that you won't let me fall on my face too badly. Just like I won't let you fall, either. Do you trust me?"
"I feel like you've asked me that before," she answered with a laugh.
"And how did that turn out for you?"
She moved closer, still holding his hand, and when she kissed him, he could tell she was smiling.
"I trust you, Jed," she whispered, "Sometimes more than I trust myself."
"Okay, now you're being stupid," Jed laughed, "You should always trust yourself. You're brilliant."
"And you're just trying to get laid."
"No, I told y—"
The door opened suddenly, cutting off his words, and Jed gestured in Jeremy's direction, smiling.
"See? I told you he wouldn't be gone long."
"Sorry, did I mess up your moment, doc?"
Abbey shook her head, smiling as she reached for her nearly empty glass.
"No, contrary to belief, I am occasionally capable of keeping my hands off Jed."
Jeremy looked pointedly at her left hand, casually resting on Jed's knee, and she laughed, knowing exactly what he was thinking.
"I mean, I could, but why would I want to?"
Jed breathlessly kissed Abbey once before pulling her into his arms, reaching out to entwine their less-than-steady fingers, and as she laid her head on his chest, she glanced at him curiously.
"Jed?"
"Hm?"
"Do you think we'll be one of those couples that stop having sex after we get married?"
Jed laughed for so long that Abbey was tempted to smack his arm to shut him up, and when she raised up to look at him, there was a slightly annoyed expression on her face.
"What's so damn funny?"
"Are you sure you didn't hit your head on the wall a few minutes ago?"
"What? Why?"
"Because a concussion is the only conceivable way that you could possibly think I would ever get tired of what we just did. My convictions are strong, but I don't have the strength to stay away from you, Abbey. The day that I'm not attracted to you will be the day after I die, and not a moment sooner. Even when you manage to piss me off beyond belief, it still takes everything I have to keep from tearing your clothes off."
"I'm not going to look like this forever."
"No, you'll be like a fine wine that gets better with age while I end up looking like a decrepit old man. But even if you looked like some old hag from one of those old fairytales, I would still be attracted to you. Because I'm not just attracted to you physically. Your intelligence and personality are the biggest turn-ons in the world."
"Jed…" she rolled her eyes.
"I'm being entirely serious. Any time you threaten my life or boss me around, or when you slip into doctor-mode, it's the sexiest thing I can think of."
Abbey smiled, taking back her previous place with her head on his chest, and as her left hand idly traced patterns over his skin, she sighed contentedly.
"I love you."
"I love you too, baby. Always have, always will."
Glancing at the clock on the wall, Abbey frowned as she realized they had less than twenty minutes until Millie was due back from her evening class, and when she stood suddenly, Jed frowned.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing, but if you don't want Millie to walk in while you're naked, you'd better get dressed."
"Those are officially my least favourite words I've ever heard you say."
"Which ones?" she asked as she pulled her skirt up her legs.
"Get dressed," Jed answered, swinging his feet to the floor, "I've never heard something so horrid."
"As much as I would love to have you walking around naked all the time, I don't think Millie would feel the same way, babe."
"Lucky for us that we only have five months until we're married, then," he replied, giving her a smile as he shoved his head into his shirt.
"Why do I feel like you've been crossing the days off on a calendar?" Abbey asked with an exasperated laugh.
"Oh, I definitely have been, Abigail. I definitely have."
To say that she wasn't surprised would have been the understatement of a century.
"Hey Jed, where's Jeremy?"
Jed shrugged, his focus still on the book in his hands, and he glanced at Abbey as he answered.
"Said he had a date. I didn't ask questions. I'm just happy to see him smiling again. He was so down after losing his grandmother. Speaking of which, how is your arm?"
She smiled, holding it out to show him.
"Fine. Looks like there will be a little bit of scarring, but it shouldn't be too noticeable, which is a relief. No one looks at scars and thinks they're sexy."
"They would be on you, sweetheart."
Rolling her eyes as she laughed, Abbey returned her attention to the book she'd been reading, wondering briefly who Jeremy had gone on a date with. Making a mental note to ask Sara about her whereabouts tomorrow, she smiled, trying not to get prematurely excited. After all, she had no reason to believe that he'd asked Sara, but then again, she had no reason not to, either.
Regardless of who the date was with, Abbey was of the same mind as Jed, simply happy to see their friend trying to find even a small measure of joy in his life again, and she twirled her pen between her fingers as she began reading again. The words were beginning to blur, the result of far too many hours spent staring at the pages, and when she closed the book less than twenty minutes later, Jed gave her a curious look.
"Calling it quits?"
She nodded tiredly, rubbing her temple slowly.
"Yeah. I think I've comprehended all I'm going to tonight. My head is killing me, and all the words are starting to morph into one huge indecipherable mess."
Jed frowned, his curiosity now something akin to concern.
"Are you okay? I've got some aspirin if you need it."
Abbey shook her head, smiling in thanks.
"No, I just need to take a break."
Moving so that she was laying next to him, Abbey closed her eyes, smiling when she felt his fingers slowly wind into her hair. The pressure from his fingertips relieved some of the pain, and when she spoke, she kept her voice soft.
"Jed, would you read to me? If you want to read whatever it is you're studying, that's fine, I just want to listen."
He frowned, but nodded, forgetting that she couldn't see him with her eyes closed.
"Sure, but why?"
"I like the sound of your voice," she said simply.
"I have a better idea. I've been working on something, and I could use some feedback. Want to hear it? It's not for class, but it is important.'
Abbey nodded, giving him a smile.
"Of course I want to hear it. Just bear in mind that I'm exhausted, so my feedback might just be muddled nonsense."
"Noted," Jed laughed, kissing her hair, "Okay. You can keep this moment all your life. In a world where precious things are disappearing overnight, even though the winds of change may come, it's still a dream worth keeping. There may be times when you might be thinking that life has passed you by and even when you feel the darkness, don't let it fade. What do you think?"
"It's beautiful," she said softly, "but what is it?"
"If I told you the purpose of everything I did, it would completely ruin the mystery of our relationship, Abbey. I'd like to maintain it at least a little longer."
She laughed, rolling her eyes.
"Fine. Keep your secrets."
"You can't tell me that you don't have secrets. I'm sure there's at least one skeleton in your closet."
"Yeah, it's my sister's," Abbey quipped, "I murdered her last Christmas."
"Well, that does put a damper on our wedding, doesn't it?"
Abbey closed her eyes again, smiling when she felt Jed wrap his arm around her and as his fingers began combing through her hair once more, she laughed quietly.
"I would pay you so much money to do that for the rest of my life."
"No need. As long as I'm with you for the rest of your life, that's all I need."
"You're so incredibly sentimental at night. Has anyone ever told you that?"
He shook his head, glancing down at her.
"No, but it makes sense, if you think about it. You spend all day doing things that you would rather not be doing, whether that's work or school, so when you finally have time at the end of the night to spend with the people you love, you want to make sure they know how much they mean to you. Especially when you know that tomorrow isn't promised. Anything could happen at any moment to take me away from you and if that happened, I would want there to be no doubt at all in your mind just how much I love you."
"That's so tragically beautiful," Abbey whispered, "and for the record, I've never doubted your love for me. Well, except that one time last year, but—"
"What? When?"
"After you first told me about London. I thought that it meant more to you than me and you didn't care about what I wanted. I thought—"
Jed silenced her words with his lips on hers, his hand tangling in the mahogany strands of her hair, and he wrapped his free hand around her waist, holding her as close to him as he possibly could.
"That was the biggest mistake I've ever made concerning you. Maybe in my life. I should never have done that without talking to you first. I am so sorry that I ever made you feel like you didn't matter, that I ever made you doubt how much you mean to me. I love you more than any school, any religion, any job, anything in the world. In the entire universe."
"I know," she said quietly.
"Do you?"
Abbey nodded.
"Yes, because I feel the same way about you. Some people might think our love is all an act, but I would die for you in secret if it came to that."
Kissing her again, Jed let his tongue explore every corner of her mouth, needing to taste as much of her as possible, and when the door opened, he ignored it, moving away from her only when he heard his roommate's voice.
"You two disgust me."
Abbey laughed, sitting up to look at him eagerly.
"How did your date go? Who's the lucky girl?"
"Sometimes I forget you're a girl, doc, and then you ask me things like that, and it all comes crashing back to me."
"Hey! What do you mean you forget I'm a girl?"
"I dunno," he shrugged, giving her a smile, "I guess I just see you as like a sister, and I wouldn't really think of my sister the same way I would other women."
"Damn right you won't," Jed threatened jokingly, "You ever look at Abbey the way I've seen you look at other women, and I might just kill you."
"Hush, Jed. Jeremy, you never answered my questions."
"The date went well, and as for who the girl was, that will stay between us. Now if the interrogation is over, I'd like to take a shower, so excuse me."
The moment he had left the room, Abbey burst into laughter, earning her a weird look from Jed, which only served to make her laugh harder.
"Care to explain why you're suddenly so interested in Jeremy's romantic life?"
"Because, Jed," she began, as though it were obvious, "Sara likes Jeremy, and I was wondering if that was who he'd gone on the date with."
Understanding filled his eyes, and Jed nodded, moving to the position he'd been in before Jeremy had arrived.
"Now, where were we?"
"Right about here," Abbey replied, kissing him slowly, her left hand pulling him closer while her right wound into his hair.
"My favourite place to be."
If it hadn't been for the serious tone in which she'd just spoken, Jed would have laughed outright at Abbey's words, sure that she was playing some kind of elaborate prank. As it was, he stared at her, hardly able to find the will to speak, and when he forced himself to open his mouth, he hoped that he would have the ability to form a sentence.
"What?"
Okay, so it was only one word, but it was technically a sentence, so he considered that a win.
"You would never cheat on me, would you?" she repeated, looking at him seriously.
"How could you ever think—why would you ask—Abbey, what the hell?"
Abbey glanced at him for a moment, and it was only when she turned away that he noticed the pain in her eyes, and he moved closer, reaching for her hand.
"Have you been studying so much that you've destroyed your mind? I just told you three days ago that I love you more than anything in the universe, and that's never going to change."
"You don't know that," she said softly, "People change, Jed. What if one day years from now, you wake up and realize that you don't love me the way you do now? What if the plans we made together completely fall apart and it causes us to resent each other? What if you realize that you might still love me, but you're not in love with me anymore? It happens, I've seen it. I've lived it, and I don't know if I could handle that happening to us."
Jed was silent for a long moment, and he could see the panic building in her eyes, making him think faster, hoping he could offer her some reassurance.
"Baby, I know you're scared right now because everything in our lives is about to change. I'm nervous about it, too. And you're right that I don't know for sure whether we'll make it fifty years from now but let me tell you something: I don't have faith in much other than God, but I have faith in us. Does that make me naïve or stupidly optimistic? Maybe. But I don't really give a damn what the rest of the world thinks or what the odds are against us. Because we're in this together, and win or lose, we'll fight whatever the universe tries to throw at us. And let me tell you this right now: there is no one in the world who could ever mean more to me than you. Not even our potential children. Without you, I have nothing to work for, nothing to fight for, and no one to fight with. Two people are always harder to knock down than one, and there is no one in the world I would rather have standing next to me. So no, Abigail Ann Barrington, I will never cheat on you, and I don't want to hear you ever say anything like it again."
Though she'd known she was merely allowing her anxiety to get the better of her, Abbey couldn't help but feel relieved by his words, and when he kissed her, she reached for his shirt, gathering it in her hands.
"Jed?"
"Yeah?"
She kissed him again, her voice still slightly unsteady when she spoke again.
"Tell me you love me."
"I love you," he said without hesitation.
"Tell me you want me."
Kissing her hard, he pushed her back onto the bed, his bright blue eyes meeting her emerald ones seriously.
"I've wanted you since the very first moment I saw you."
"Tell me that you're not going to get sick of me and leave."
He laughed, shaking his head.
"Oh, I'll definitely get sick of you, sweetheart, but I'm never going to leave. The only way you're getting away from me is if you kill me."
Jed looked at her seriously, reaching out to brush her hair back to get a better view of her eyes.
"In all seriousness, Abbey…I'm not going anywhere. I know that's hard for your anxiety-ridden, overthinking, perfectionist brain to understand, but I'll keep reminding you every single day if I have to. Maybe one of them, you'll believe me."
"That's just it, Jed. I know you mean it now. I'm just scared that one day, you won't. One day, you'll be saying it just out of habit or obligation. I know I'm being stupid, but I can't change the fact that I'm terrified of losing you. I've never needed anyone like I need you and I've never loved anyone as much as I love you."
"I know how you feel. I might have a big ego and think I can handle anything, but you scare me, Abigail. More than anything else ever has. And I don't mean that in a bad way. You challenge me to be better, you make me see things in a completely different light and knowing that one day you might not want to be with me scares me, too. What if you get tired of my temper, or how I have a tendency to act irrationally when any kind of emotion takes control? And what if you don't? Do I really have what it takes to be the kind of man you deserve? It scares me how much I love you and how much I don't think I could live without you now. So, see? Even in our panic, we're in it together."
Abbey smiled, reaching out to touch his face gently, kissing him lightly.
"How do you always know exactly what to say to make me feel better?"
"I don't," he told her honestly, "Most of the time, I'm just saying the first thing that comes to mind and it doesn't always make sense."
Jed kissed her again, and as he moved to the other side of the bed, gathering her in his arms, his whispered 'I love you' making her smile, Abbey knew there wasn't anything in the world that she wouldn't do for him. No matter what it cost her. He was more important than any doubt, than any anxiety, and she cursed herself for not realizing it sooner.
A/N: Poor Abbey...