Asami laid in her bed, back facing the door. Her little arms were pushed under the pillow supporting her head as she stared out the window overlooking the dark compound, only the occasional fire lit or candles inside homes casting light. Really, most were in bed now, snoring away. Asami was one of the only odd ones out who were having real trouble sleeping. Besides those keeping watch or on missions of course.
She couldn't get the Senju man out of her mind. No matter how hard she tried, his bloody image, the kunai covered in his blood... it haunted her memory. Her chest felt heavy, as though his large frame was still caging her against the ground without any hope of escape.
Asami pressed her face into the crook of her elbow and tangled her fingers in her hair, scrunching her face up as the horrifying images flashed in her mind again. There was a burning behind her eyes as though she was going to cry, but she didn't.
Everyone kept telling her what she did was the right thing. But it didn't feel right. It felt so wrong. Killing someone because they simply weren't an Uchiha? Maybe it was because she was young, and that's why she was having such a hard time getting it through her head. She was often told the reason she didn't understand things was because she was so young, so maybe this was one of those cases.
Sometimes she wished things weren't so complicated. Shinobi from her clan and many others were killed just fine without a second thought. Why was it so hard for her? The only reason she truly hadn't killed already in a place like the battle before was that is because she was... well... a girl.
Boys her age were often on the front lines.
It was unusual for women to become shinobi. It was a field dominated by men, and women were often entrusted with managing the home while the men fought. If a woman wanted a more active role in the clan they often became healers, but were hardly ever seen on the front lines. There were a couple of female shinobi, but not many.
Asami had expressed her desire to become a shinobi before, but her father had told her she needed to wait till she was at least nine to start her training. He was desperate for anything to keep her out of harm's way.
Nine was the age for her to just begin training. Such as simple chakra control and learning about tools. But what occurred in the forest not even three days ago, made her think maybe it was time for her to learn a bit earlier.
She squeezed her eyes shut, willing the image of the bloody man from her mind, and tried her best to get some sleep. After all, she would need all the rest she could get for the question she was to ask her father tomorrow.
Asami sat at the table the next morning for breakfast, legs tucked underneath herself. She pushed the rice around her bowl with her chopsticks and poked at the sunny-side-up egg her father had made, popping the yolk. It ran into the rice, mixing with the white grain.
"Asami, what's the matter?" Hana nudged Asami's arm, looking at her in concern. She had always known her twin to be the more aloof one who put thought into her actions, even if a little sneaky or conniving, but she never had a look this concentrated before. Something was bothering her, and she was going to figure out what.
"Nothing," Asami forced a small smile and poked her twin in the arm. "Mind your business."
Hana frowned, tilting her head to the side. Her dark hair was pulled back into a loose braid, a few stray pieces hanging in her face as she gave her sister an unimpressed look.
The smile slowly slid off Asami's face. She turned her head away, looking at the egg in her bowl, the reflection of her saddened face in the golden yolk seeming to be mocking her.
"Just... don't worry about it now." Asami still didn't look her sister in the eyes. "Maybe another time."
The shift in mood was alarming to Hana. The two were close, and for her sister to simply brush off her concerns was unlike Asami. Asami would explain things to Hana in detail, especially when it came to her emotions. She always talked to Hana about things that were troubling her, and she was always willing to listen and be there for her. But since the accident… her sister was putting a block between them. She wasn't acting like herself.
"Good morning!" Daichi walked into the room, two scrolls tucked under his arm. He sat down across from Asami, Hana to his left. Setting the scrolls on the ground beside his folded legs, he took ahold of his chopsticks and clicked them together, smiling at his daughters. "Itadakimasu."
He began eating, not noticing that either of his daughters hadn't taken a single bite of their breakfast or the tension in the room. But that wasn't a surprise. He tended to be a bit slow when it came to things such as social cues, sometimes living in his own bubble.
"Tou-san..." began Asami carefully, setting her chopsticks beside the bowl of untouched food. She wrung her hands underneath the table, trying to ignore how clammy they were becoming. She could only hope this had a good outcome.
"Mhm?" He looked up at her, shoveling part of the egg into his moth.
Hana looked at Asami quizzically, furrowing her brows as she watched her sister get more and more nervous with each second.
"I... I was wondering..." Asami swallowed, not looking up to meet Daichi's gaze. "Because of what happened in the forest the other day... can I... can I start my training—"
"No," Said Daichi firmly, already knowing where the conversation was headed. He shook his head, mood-changing seamlessly with her proposal. "You can begin when you're nine. We've been over this."
"But... I was so close to dying… I was really scared when that Senju man came after me… and if I had known how to protect myself—" Tried to explain Asami, but Daichi cut her off before she could finish.
"I said no." He snapped, losing his patience with her. "You're still a child. Appreciate this time to actually act like one."
Asami's face screwed up, cheeks turning pink at how frustrated she was with the situation. Why was he pretending nothing happened? She almost died!
"There are boys younger than me who've already died in battle! It's not fair that I get that luxury when others don't!" Asami clenched her fist. "I want to help. And I'm not of use if others have to waste their time protecting me! That Senju man almost killed me! If Izuna-nii hadn't been there I would have died!"
Hana frowned, curling into herself in an attempt to make herself as small as possible as she looked between her father and sister.
Daichi slammed his palm on the table, dishes rattling. "That is enough!"
Hana flinched, squeezing her eyes shut as she tried to block out the angry yelling of her sister and father.
She had never heard her father raise his voice like that—and Asami had never been one to argue with their father. Even over something such as shinobi training.
Asami stared at Daichi with wide eyes, lips parted in shock from the tone he used.
Since the accident, Daichi had made little to no mention of her killing the Senju. In fact, it seemed as though he was trying to pretend it never happened in the first place. When Asami was returned to them covered in blood, Hana was hysterical, thinking her sister was the one who was injured. Upon finding out she killed someone… the dynamic turned icy. While the daughters were only eight, it wasn't hard to understand that the topic was considered taboo now.
It's not like Asami blamed him, she didn't want to talk about it at all. What she did made her sick, but how close she came to death made her feel even sicker.
He sighed, raising a hand to his face. He rubbed at the forming wrinkles on his forehead, guilt rushing through him at what he had just done. "Asami... look... I'm..."
"No, it's all right." Asami swallowed hard and got to her feet, wanting some space. "You were right. I shouldn't... have said anything. I'll wait till I'm nine. That's only a year away anyway..."
She took in a small breath of air, before standing and walking out of the dining room without another word. She walked to the front door and slipped on her sandals, heading outside, leaving Hana and Daichi in solemn silence.
Asami really didn't know where she was going. She just... needed some time to herself. Some space to clear her head. Where she was going to get that space... she had no idea. She certainly was not going to leave the compound walls anytime soon. At least not on her own. And she wasn't going to pester anyone to take her outside. She already felt like enough of a nuisance, the last thing she wanted to do was pull someone away from their duties for her own selfish reasons.
She folded her arms, the baby blue yukata she wore embellished with the clan crest creasing slightly. She tilted her head down, loose hair swaying with her steps; she hadn't even bothered to pin it back today.
When she thought about it... she didn't even remember brushing her hair…
Hopefully she wasn't going to be scolded for that later.
After a bit of walking, Asami came across the well placed in the center of the compound, a familiar woman pulling a filled bucket out from inside the stone contraption.
Deciding she really had nothing better to do, she walked up to her and gave a small smile along with a polite wave. She could try to be decent, even if she felt awful. "Good morning, Kaori-San."
Kaori set the water bucket at her feet and dusted off her hands, before flashing Asami a warm smile. "Good morning, little one! I'm afraid I haven't seen Hana-chan at all today, but if anything she's probably off playing with Hanami."
"Oh, no, I wasn't wondering about her. She's probably still at home." Asami played with the tips of her hair, a bit embarrassed. "I was just... wondering if you needed help with anything? At the bakery and stuff..."
The woman pursed her lips and raised a brow, before giving a slight shrug as if saying 'why not'. "Sure. If you don't have anything going on I wouldn't mind an extra set of hands."
Kaori bent down and picked up the water bucket, before turning around and nudging her head over her shoulder. "Come along. Don't want to leave you behind, now do I?"
Asami rushed over and began walking in toe with her down the dirt path toward Kaori's home/bakery, passing by the occasional person who was doing their morning business.
Kaori was a tall woman with short brown hair. She had the trademark dark, black eyes most of the Uchiha clan harbored, but something just seemed to be different about them. There was some sort of twinkle in them that made Asami trust her without having to second guess the woman's intentions. In a way, Asami viewed her as the mother she didn't have.
Daichi was the only remaining parent to the girls. Their mother had died in childbirth due to complications. Towards the end of her pregnancy she was bedridden, her strength dwindling. Even with the utmost care, as her mother was Tajima's sister, she still passed a few hours after giving birth to both of the girls.
Kaori was not her mother, but Asami liked to think she was what a mother was supposed to be like. Hana seemed to feel the same way. It helped that Hana was also best friends with Kaori's younger daughter, Hanami.
Asami also thought she was positively beautiful. Especially in the dark purple yukatas she wore, compared to the trend of usual blues and blacks people of the clan wore, including herself. Even if she chose to wear the common colors, Asami was sure she would look just as beautiful.
"So, are you going to tell me what the matter is?"
Asami jumped at the sudden question. She looked up at the woman with wide eyes, mouth going dry at the raised eyebrow she was being given.
"The matter?" Asami shook her head, trying to play off her ill feelings. "Nothing's the matter."
"I don't like lying, Asami-chan." Kaori looked at her with sharp eyes. "And I can tell you are doing that right now. So I suggest you stop it. You're not fooling me."
Asami chewed on her lower lip, not entirely sure how to answer the question. She didn't want to make her father seem like a control freak who was ridiculously overprotective, but she also didn't want to make herself sound like a spoiled brat. The last thing she wanted was the woman she idolized to think poorly of her or her family. Even if Kaori was quite close with her father, having been childhood friends.
"Well... you know the incident that happened in the woods a few days ago?" Began Asami carefully, prodding for what her reaction would be on the subject before she went too into detail.
Kaori's eyes narrowed ahead. "With the Senju dogs laying their dirty paws on you? Yes, I do. It's a good thing you did, you know? If you hadn't done anything, Senju or not, you would have died. You defended yourself from that evil man."
Asami flinched at the sudden image of the man bleeding out at her hands, his weight pressing her to the ground and his blood covering her front.
She shook away the image, answering before Kaori got too suspicious of her spacing out. "Yeah, that."
What she said about self-defense did make her think for a moment. She hadn't thought of killing that Senju… however it happened… to be self-defense. She was so focused on having killed him in the first place she hadn't even considered that. Hurting someone else to the point where they weren't coming back anymore. People were just telling her she did a good thing killing a Senju, not that it was self-defense as well.
It helped relieve some of the guilt a little.
"What of it?" Kaori walked up to the bakery's entrance, slowing down so Asami could walk ahead. The little Uchiha held the door open for her, before following Kaori into the back to the kitchen, passing Aiko, a girl who helped out in the bakery in the afternoons. Aiko handed an elder Uchiha woman a loaf of bread in exchange for some ryo. Catching a quick glimpse of her, the young girl shot Asami a polite smile. Asami returned it with a smaller one before hurrying after Kaori.
The kitchen was neat, the counters clean and organized. The only thing left out was a recently purchased bag of flour, but even the way it was set out on the surface screamed tidy. The counters were steel, put in by the clan's local blacksmith. There was a wall of four ovens on the farthest wall, a large encased area for the fireplace below them.
"I tried to talk to my Tou-san about beginning my training early." Asami leaned against the counter, watching as Kaori dumped the water bucket into the basin near a curtained window.
Kaori shook her head and clicked her tongue knowingly, placing the bucket on the ground. She wiped her hands on the towel folded neatly beside the basin, glancing at Asami out of the corner of her eye. "And from what I know about Daichi-kun, I can assume that talk did not go as you would have liked."
"You're right." Asami pursed her lips, looking at the lines in the wood floor. "I just... I can't understand why he wouldn't want me to have the skills to be able to protect himself. Especially after what happened."
"I think your father knows well of what comes with shinobi skills." She fluffed out the towel, folding it back up into a neat square. "You would be expected to fight."
"Already?!" Asami's eyes widened. "But I'm only—"
"Eight? Yes," Kaori sighed, her eyes flicking up to the picture sitting on the counter beside the basin. It was a young boy who looked to be no more than ten, sitting with his father and mother. He was a handsome boy, dark brown hair a little longer than his ears falling into his eyes as he smiled at the artist drawing their family portrait.
"Haru was only nine when he was sent into the field. His first fight and he came home in a casket." She picked up the picture and looked at it with eyes full of pain. She ran her fingers over the drawing, lingering on his face. "Hanami was only four when he passed, so she sadly doesn't remember much about him. He would be fifteen if he was alive today. But, he was not the only one to fall... my brother. My husband... they all fell to the war."
Kaori set the picture back down and placed her hands on the counter, bowing her head at the memory.
Asami's heart ached for the woman, who was too kind and didn't deserve any of the terrible things that happened to her family members. Really, no one deserved what happened to their family. It was another thing she just couldn't understand. What was even the point of these battles? It was pointless chaos. She couldn't understand it and just wanted everyone to be happy.
"Your father is scared of what could happen if you picked up the skills of a shinobi. I have no doubt that you'll be more than proficient, and your father probably feels the same way. If Tajima-sama, or anyone else were to take notice of your skill, there is no way they wouldn't take advantage of you."
"So you're saying, he's afraid I'll be sent into battle?" Asked Asami, mouth falling open at the information. She thought she would start training, not that she would be thrown into battle so soon!
"From the looks of it, yes. Your father loves you and your sister very much. He feels it's his duty to protect you, as any father should. But after the death of your mother, he takes his duty even more serious than the average parent." Kaori walked over to Asami and bent down into a squat. She was at eye level with the small girl, gently placing her hand on her arm. "But that doesn't mean your father's fears should stand in the way of your growth, or potential. It's true you need to be able to protect yourself. And you'll be more likely to be able to protect yourself the earlier you build those skills."
She smoothed back Asami's dark hair with a gentle look, before standing up and dusting off her hands. "Now run along and pick up a bag of flour from the market."
"Flour?" Asami raises a brow, before pointing over her shoulder with her thumb toward the full bag sitting on the counter that hadn't even been opened yet. "But don't you have—"
"Ah!" Kaori waggled her finger. "I know what I need. Don't question me. Run along and get what I asked—I have a couple of things to tend to. When you're finished just come back and drop the bag off. If I'm not back by then you can head home."
Asami didn't really have anything else to say in protest. So she took the money given to her by Kaori and left the bakery, waving to Aiko as she passed.
The trip to the market was quick and didn't have anything out of the ordinary. She picked up the pound bag from the kind old man who gave it to her every time she ran errands for Kaori. Everything was as normal as can be. But she did happen to spot her twin cousins, Wataru and Kano, making their way out of a supply shop. They had multiple bags in their hands full of what looked to be supplies, and if Asami squinted hard enough, she could make out the forms of bandages, kunai, shuriken, and other things a shinobi would need for battle.
But Kano and Wataru weren't going to battle. Were they?
Wanting to be a little nosy, her worry partially fueling her desire to poke around, she jogged over to them with the flour wrapped in her arms.
The two ten-year-old boys noticed her practically right away. Kano flashed her a bright grin, his fluffy black hair falling over his ears and into his face. Little dimples appeared at the corners of his mouth as he greeted her, and Asami couldn't help but smile back at him. Kano had a thing called contagious happiness.
He messed with the forest green yukata he wore and placed a hand on his hip, right above the sheathed wazikashi. "What's up, little cousin? Running some errands for... lemme guess... Kaori-San?"
Wataru rolled his eyes, scoffing. "Obviously. Who else would she be gathering things for? Oji-San never cooks."
Wataru was more of the bitter smart ass between the two twins. He had a bit of a harsher feel to him as well, sort of taking after Madara in that way. His hair was short and spiky, a few pieces here and there laying a little more to the side. Most preferred Kano to him. The older twin had a generally more... likable personality. Not that Wataru was a terrible person. He just had a bit of a cold aura. And people sometimes couldn't get past that.
Asami could relate to Wataru pretty well in that sense.
Most favored Hana over Asami. Hana was bright, warm, feminine, and overall just... happy. Asami could be happy and silly, don't get her wrong. But she tended to be quiet and inquisitive. That behavior was typically frowned upon. She could also be a sneaky child, and most didn't enjoy being around someone like that.
"Yeah, I was picking up a bag of flour for Kaori-San." Asami eyed the bag in Kano's hand, trying to change the subject. She only came over to get the answer to her question and she didn't want to get sidetracked. She nodded her head at the supplies. "What are those for?"
"Didn't hear?" Wataru frowned. "There's been a mission for the lord of the Land of Tea. Something having to do with the Uzumaki I believe. They've been hired by someone in Rivers country to push the boundary lines so they can obtain more land."
"First battle!" Kano grinned, gripping the bag full of supplies tightly. He looked like he was about to combust at how happy he was. "I'm ready to prove how strong I am. To the clan... to Tou-sama..."
Asami furrowed her brows, feeling a spike of worry in her chest. "Who else is heading out?"
"Madara-nii, a couple of other cousins, and Daichi-ji. There might be some others but they aren't coming to mind right now." Answered Wataru. Already having a feeling for where her mind was going, he placed a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry about them. It's only the Uzumaki. They can be tough, but we're stronger."
Asami stared into Wataru's dark eyes, taking in what he said. She took a deep breath and slowly nodded her head, trying to calm her nerves. Forcing a small smile, she adjusted her grip on the flour bag and moved her free hand to rest on top of Wataru's. "You're right."
"Yeah." Kano poked his tongue out at her playfully. "Have a little faith!"
"When will you be leaving?" Asked Asami, rolling her eyes at Kano's childishness.
"In an hour." Answered Wataru. "Tou-sama believed it would be the most time-efficient. We only received the mission this morning."
Asami's eyes widened. "I have to say goodbye!"
Kano tilted his head to the side in confusion. "Goodbye? To who—?"
But Asami was already off and running, the bag of flour in her hands. She sprinted all the way to Kaori's bakery, passing by startled Uchiha clan members. But she really didn't care. The only thing she had in mind was getting rid of that stupid bag of flour so she could get home and say goodbye to her father. The way they left off this morning... she knew she couldn't go more than a day without saying something to soothe the bad blood.
She slammed the door open to the bakery and ran straight into the back. She breezed right past Aiko who was attempting to shoot the younger Uchiha a friendly wave—but Asami was dead set on losing the bag of flour so she could get home.
Not seeing the older Uchiha woman in the kitchen anywhere, she did as instructed and dropped it onto the island in the middle of the kitchen, tossing the leftover money beside it. Not wasting another second, she took off out the door again and sprinted out of the bakery, rushing to make it home in time.
She weaved in and out of passing clan members as she made a beeline home, getting closer to the back of the compound. They lived near the home of the clan leader, her mother had been his sister, so naturally, Tajima wanted them to be near one another.
Asami use to have a few other uncles and another aunt, but they unfortunately passed. Uncles from war and aunt from sickness. Which only left Tajima, the second oldest, and her mother, who died of childbirth when she and Hana were born.
Asami hoped she would never have to bear the pain of being the only one of her close family left. She didn't even know what she would do if that were to happen. Even imagining that made her heart hurt.
Spotting the house in the distance, she picked up the pace, huffing heavily. She pushed up the sleeves of her yukata and grit her teeth, ignoring the burning sensation in her chest. Asami ran down the stone path to the stairs and skipped a couple going up them, before throwing open the shoji door.
She grabbed ahold of the door frame and huffed rapidly, attempting to catch her breath. She cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted into the hopefully not empty house.
"Tou-san!" She walked in and messily kicked her shoes, not taking the time to see if there were another pair sitting by the door. At not hearing a response she only got more worried he left already.
Asami ran to the back of the house where her father usually kept most of his tools, including his battle armor. He also kept a shrine to her mother there, and before leaving for a mission he would often pray to her. Seeing the dim light of a candle through the paper frame, she threw the shoji door open and almost burst into tears at the sight of Daichi fastening a ninjato to his waist.
"Asami?" He raised a dark eyebrow. "What's the matter?"
Not answering him, she threw herself at Daichi, wrapping her arms around his midsection. She sniffed, nuzzling her face into the navy blue yukata he wore. Her voice came out shaky as she was trying to hold back tears. "I-I thought you left already... I..."
Daichi lowered himself down to her level and smiled softly. He gently stroked the side of her cheek. "Sweetheart, I would never leave you. Especially not without a goodbye."
He poked her nose. Asami giggled, sniffing as a stray tear rolled down her cheek.
"Tou-chan!" Hana ran into the room, large black eyes full of alarm. "Kaori-San told me you were leaving—!"
"You both thought I was going to leave without saying goodbye to my girls?" Daichi clicked his tongue and shook his head playfully. "I have to say, I'm ashamed you'd think so low of me."
Still squatting with Asami in one of his arms, he opened his other arm up and gestured for Hana to come toward them. She didn't even hesitate, walking over and wrapping her arms around his neck. She pressed her face into his shoulder, hugging him tightly.
Asami leaned into the both of them, pulling Hana and her father into a tight embrace. She hugged them as tight as she could, squeezing her eyes shut.
Maybe she wasn't the only one, but she had a bad feeling about what was to come.