Leonard is scared of Sheldon and Penny

Dark themes ahead. You've been warned.

*knock, knock, knock*
"Leonard."
*knock, knock, knock*
"Leonard."
*knock, knock, knock*
"Leonard."

Leonard wakes up with a gasp. 'Not again' He wants to weep. He's not sure when was the last time he actually had a good night's sleep. And now Sheldon was here, it was impossible. He had come to Howard's house to seek shelter. He was sure that Sheldon wouldn't be able to find him here.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Leonard yells through the reinforced door. "JUST *hic* shut up." A sob escapes him and his voice loses all the strength it had. 'I can't do this anymore.'

The sickness had started innocuous enough. They had joked about 'Code Milky Green'. Now they were here in Howard's house, doors and windows barricaded.

"Really Leonard? Is that the proper way to react to a friend knocking on your door? Why, if you must know, in the past the rules of hospit-"

"Shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup" Leonard can't listen to him any longer

""Tsk, tsk." Leonard can hear Sheldon clicking his tongue in disapproval, and for a moment it's all so normal. Maybe things can go back to the way they were before. "Really Leonard? For that, I will eat you slowly." And then reality comes crashing down.

Leonard can see Howard tensing up next to him, the man's beard was now wild looking, but Howard refused to shave. Leonard himself doesn't look much better, not even in the Arctic he felt so crummy.

"You know I don't like to nitpick, but is this really your plan Leonard? You will simply barricade yourself and hope for the best? Maybe that's okay for now, but one day you will run out of food and bullets. And then what? Have you thought about that? I'm not surprised to see you haven't thought it through enough. You never had the head for seeing the big picture and planning accordingly. But Leonard, that's what I do."

Leonard closed his eyes and slammed his head against the wall. He can see the effect of Sheldon's words on Howard, the other man is about to have a panic attack. Leonard is not doing much better. It's been weeks and Leonard knows that their time is running out.

"Penny? Can you talk to them? Leonard is refusing to see reason."

"Of course Sweetie." Oh nonononononononono God, why?

"Leonard? Sweetie. You know that Sheldon is right. You and Howard will die screaming."

Leonard bites the strap of his bag, hard enough that for a moment he fears he will bite it all the way through. He could barely handle Sheldon and now Penny was here as well. Her tone of voice was the same, but the words would make sure that Leonard can never have a good night's sleep again.

"I know! Maybe we can reach a compromise, how about you open up the door and We'll all come inside and eat your brains?. Doesn't that sound good? It'll be over fast."

No one should sound so cheery when saying those words.

"Well, I tried Moonpie."

"Only Meemaw can call me Moonpie. But, thank you for trying Penny. It's not your fault that they're being unreasonable."

Leonard can almost fool himself into believing that this is a bad dream. That his best friend and girlfriend are not Zombies trying to eat his brains.

"I know. Perhaps you can attempt to convince them Koothrappali."

Howard tenses up and Leonard can see tears in his eyes. This is torture. They wait for a moment but no sound comes from beyond the door, they can hear distant groaning but nothing else.

"Honestly Raj, you need to overcome this weakness of yours. Simply because Penny is present should not mean that you're unable to communicate clearly."

Howard is laughing but it becomes a sob and Leonard goes to hug him. They can't afford to break down, they need to survive and make it out of here.

"Yes, well. Moving on. Leonard, I know why you hesitate to accept our offer to open that door and I want to assure you that all we want is your brains. No one here is going to do something as barbaric as eat your eyes. We're not Monsters."

"Sweetie, I think technically we are."

"What? Oh, yes, of course, I meant…well, you know what I meant."

"I know Honey."

Leonard considered just ending it all. They still had bullets, he could simply put an end to his suffering. From what they were able to gather, Humanity was doomed, they were done. They've been trying to hold on to something, but city after city has fallen.

There was no one coming to save them.

"I'll think it over Sheldon." Leonard is surprised by how calm his voice is. Howard is looking at him like he just went crazy. But, what else are they supposed to do? Sheldon, even as a zombie, was a force to be reckoned with.

"I'm glad to hear that Leonard. I appreciate the way you're working with me. I know we're all busy so I'm happy to hear you taking feedback so well."

"Don't worry Sweetie. I'll make sure you don't suffer."

"Leonard, I really appreciate the way you're working with us. And don't worry, we'll finally put this issue to rest once I bash your head in. Now, if you don't mind. Penny and I have another meeting."

"Take care Leonard, Sweetie. We'll be back tomorrow."

"I'm really proud of you Leonard. I hope you don't mind we leave Kurt here watching over the house. He's not the brightest but he's fast and strong and will keep others from chewing through your doors."

A loud and guttural groan comes from beyond the door. If Leonard had to guess, that was Kurt.

"No Kurt, no bashing just yet. Leonard (and to a lesser degree Wolowitz) are reasonable men and will see that we're in the right. Eventually."

Leonard settles back against the wall and wonders for the hundredth time if it wouldn't be easier to just shoot himself.

Because he knows that Sheldon and Penny will be back tomorrow.

Got this idea after listening to Jonathan Coulton's 'Re:Your Brains' song