Things don't always go as planned.
There comes a point in your life where you have to accept that this is it. That's all there is to it. Nothing more and nothing less.
Penny comes to that realization at the ripe age of 28.
She had to give up on her dream of acting and now she has a soul-killing job as a sales rep, which apparently she's really good at. So, yay or whatever.
Several things happen that make Penny finally say yes to marrying Leonard…none of them are good, sadly. Penny wakes up one morning with pretty bad back pain, Leonard calls her an old woman and she can't let go of that comment for an entire month. Leonard starts hinting that she's losing her 'prime child years', whatever the fuck that means. Penny is not turning as many heads, which is a hit bigger than she expected. And of course, her parents start asking about grandchildren, as if Tim didn't already have 11 children with 5 different women.
So Penny says yes.
And then the shit really hits the fan after they tell the group. Howard and Bernadette act relieved, like Penny marrying Leonard will make their own marriage better. Amy calls dibs on the maid of honor role and Penny is too tired to fight her, besides Bernadette doesn't exactly feel like her friend anymore. Raj is openly weeping and he can't stop hugging them. Sheldon acts…strangely, and not in a Sheldon way.
He takes a good long look at Penny, like he's seeing her for the first time and then tell her, quietly, so only she can hear, "My door is always open for you." which honestly freaks her out, because his intense look is replaced by pity.
Sheldon breaks up with Amy the next day. Of course the group is not going to let him get away with it. Penny is pissed because Amy has been non-stop crying since Sheldon broke up with her and while her feelings for the woman might be mixed, she's still a friend.
Unfortunately, they all seem to have forgotten how stubborn and honest Sheldon really is. As Penny confronts him about breaking up with Amy he stuns the whole room with his response.
"Seeing as Penny and Leonard have decided to tank their current relationship in an ill attempt to deceive themselves that they love each other, well, that forced me to look at my relationship with Amy. She deserves someone that can love her, and that person is not me. I am not attracted to you Amy, I in fact find you sometimes intolerable." Amy only cries harder.
"It would be a disservice to our friendship to continue with this sham of a relationship. I refuse to become my father and have to reduce myself to constantly consume alcohol just to tolerate my spouse." Sheldon turns a glaring look at everyone in the room. "You trying to force me and Amy 'back together' only reinforces my decision. I will not be Howard constantly hitting on other women despite my vows. I will not be Leonard not caring who I marry to as long as they're 'hot'. And I will not be my father, tied down to a marriage he hated just 'for the kids'."
Sheldon enters his room and leaves the group to handle the ugly truth grenades he just threw.
Howard and Bernadette excuse themselves and neither can look Penny in the eye. Raj offers to take Amy home, the woman had stopped crying at some point and instead looked pensive.
Leaving only Penny and Leonard in the apartment.
Penny can't deny what Sheldon said. Leonard had several times in the past abandoned her like yesterday's lunch if a new hot woman paid any attention to him. She had found that he still had intimate photos from his time with Priya, and Penny might have hated Priya but Leonard keeping them wasn't cool. She deleted everything and asked Sheldon to do the same with any backups. Penny had refused to send Leonard any pictures after that.
"That Sheldon is crazy. It'll be a relief once he leaves and you move in." Leonard can't look her in the eye but still sounds confident somehow.
It takes her brain a moment to catch up with his words "What do you mean when Sheldon leaves? I thought it was his name on the lease?"
"Oh, that. He made a bet. He said you would never agree to marry me." Leonard looks smug "So he bet that if you said yes, he would be the one to leave. It's in the roommate contract and everything."
"Huh." It doesn't make Penny feel any better.
The group ignores Sheldon's words.
Sheldon moves out rather quickly from 4A, he moves to a townhouse on Oakdale street. He's able to walk to work now, 5 minutes only. He doesn't invite them to his place.
Penny gets an email saying she's welcome as long as she doesn't bring anyone else. She keeps it a secret.
Routines are hard to shed, they're all in the apartment for Thai night, except Sheldon. Penny calls him pretty pissed.
"Hey Sheldon, where the hell are you?"
"Hello Penny. I'm at home having Thai food. Why?"
"What do you mean you're at home? Why didn't you come to 4A?"
"Oh! I wasn't invited. I sent Leonard a message but he never replied so in accordance with hospitality rules, I assumed that I wasn't invited."
"Whu-"
"Besides, you are the only one that contacted me at all. Could I hazard a guess that the rest of the group didn't concern themselves with my absence?"
Penny looks around and the other guys are playing some videogame while Amy and Bernadette are talking on the couch.
"I believe your silence is answer enough."
Penny wants to tell him that she misses him, that he needs to be here. But before she can get the words past the lump in her throat, Sheldon hangs up.
They get married pretty quickly after that.
Penny is shocked that Sheldon is not Leonard's best man. No, it's Howard. Sheldon never makes an appearance at the wedding.
Penny is not sure why this hurts her so much.
She's in the reception and instead of dancing or sharing a fun moment with her groom, she's near the entrance trying to call Sheldon. But he never picks up.
He still sends them a gift with Raj.
Later, much later, she's opening Sheldon's gift and Penny doesn't know what to think. It's a bottle of wine…an empty bottle of wine. There's a piece of paper glued to the bottom of the bottle and reading it only makes Penny more confused.
"The bottom is always dry."
Penny is not sure what Sheldon is trying to say, she still saves the bottle. She puts it in the bottom where Leonard never checks, he only grabs the first one at the top.
They don't see much of Sheldon after that. Penny is too busy with her honeymoon and then she's exhausted once back in Los Robles.
Penny still texts Sheldon, he'll send her beautifully worded messages and she'll reply with a GIF of a show or movie that Sheldon has never watched. He never tells her to stop.
Howard and Bernadette announce their pregnancy a month after Penny's wedding. Penny doesn't miss the longing looks that Leonard throws her way.
In for a Penny, in for a pound, or whatever that fucking saying is. Penny stops taking her contraceptives.
Penny is turning 29 soon and she's miserable.
She can't get pregnant. They haven't even had a scare so far. It's as if she's still taking the pill. Leonard's look gets sharper, his words meaner. He's not outright saying it but he's blaming her.
He's made some snide comments about Penny taking the pill in secret or somehow purposely sabotaging their chances. She doesn't want to go to the doctor because going to the doctor will make it real.
Penny asks Sheldon during one of their weekly lunches.
"Penny, there are many reasons why couples can't conceive. You will need to visit your regular OB GYN before assuming something is wrong."
And because Sheldon told her to do it, she does it.
"So what's it look like Doctor?"
"Mr and Mrs Hofstadter. I'm afraid I don't have great news."
Penny can feel a pit open in her. She never wanted children, not really. But getting pregnant is a thing that can happen to anyone right? She never hurt her tummy or crotch during Junior Rodeo.
"Have either of you heard about 'Impaired ovarian reserve'?" Two headshakes. "This is a condition where-"
And Penny can feel blood rushing through her ears. Just a bad roll of the die for her, her eggs are not good enough to sustain life. They might never be, they might never have been. Penny is feeling pretty numb, she doesn't know how to react. Should she cry?
And then Leonard is crying for the both of them.
There's treatments and in the worst case scenario they can try IVF. Of course TRY being the key word. There were no guarantees.
And Penny tries it all, injections every day for two weeks, nothing. Synthetic estrogen with progesterone plus a pill, nothing. Hormone replacement therapy, nothing.
The doctor offers an experimental treatment with 'high dose gonadoropins' and Penny accepts out of desperation because it's been 8 months since this whole treatment started and SOMETHING has to work. Still nothing.
They finally try IVF, the doctor promises a 90% chance of success. It fails.
Just like Penny's marriage to Leonard.
From the start Leonard was the desperate one. Constantly reassuring her that thing would work out, that they could have a family.
Month after month and treatment after treatment, and Leonard became meaner and meaner with each failure. He resented Penny, as if she was somehow at fault for this. Her suffering and pain both physical and emotional not counting for even a little bit of sympathy.
She starts spending more and more nights in Sheldon's guest room.
Penny is about to turn 30, still no pregnancy. She's preparing a nice dinner to ask Leonard that they try IVF again, but he never makes it to dinner. Or for breakfast, or lunch.
She's getting ready to call the police when Bernadette calls her, Penny quickly explains that she doesn't have time, Leonard is missing and she needs to call the cops but Bernadette stops her.
"Penny. Leonard is here with us. We need you to come here, Leonard has something to say to you." And Bernadette simply hangs up, as if Penny wasn't freaking out.
Her head is a mess all the way to the Wolowitz house. She can't think properly, has no idea what this could be about.
Once Penny is ushered in she sees Leonard sitting in the middle of the couch surrounded by all of their friends sans Sheldon. Her heart stops, maybe Leonard is sick, he could have cance-
"I got a girl pregnant."
It takes Penny a long moment to understand that the words came from Leonard. She has to repeat them to herself a couple of times before they fully sink in.
"…what did you said?..." Her voice is a whisper. She couldn't have heard correctly.
"It was an accident!" Leonard finally stands up and moves towards her but Penny doesn't want him touching her so she backs away from him as quickly as possible.
"How?" Maybe this will be her voice from now on. This hurt whisper.
"Penny, you have to understand!" Leonard grabs his glasses in frustration and rubs at his eyes. "You were always in pain, we didn't even have sex anymore!." Put the glasses back on and glares at Penny. "What was I supposed to do?"
Penny wants to tell him all sorts of things. He could have kept it in his pants. Could have not betrayed her. Could have been faithful. Could have divorced her. Could have been a good human being. Could have spared Penny the pain of all those treatments. Could have been less of a piece of shit.
Instead Penny removes her ring and throws it between them. Not a word.
She leaves the Wolowitz home and ignores everyone calling for her. She turns her phone off once it starts ringing.
Penny doesn't even know where she's going, she's been driving without really paying attention and it's a miracle she didn't crash into anything. It's not until she's parked in front of Sheldon's house that Penny starts crying. She stumbles to his door and pounds on it.
"Penny?"
And Penny is crying in his arms, she cries until she knows nothing but darkness.
Waking up on Sheldon's couch with a massive crying hangover makes Penny remember that this is real. Leonard did get someone else pregnant.
Sheldon is there when she wakes up and gives her a cup of coffee, she almost rejects it with the well practiced line 'No, thank you.' There's no need to worry about caffeine affecting her chances of getting pregnant after all.
She tells Sheldon everything, and she can't stop once she starts. Penny tells him about her fear, the pain, how they prodded her and poked her, how the doctor and nurses looked at her in pity, how Leonard would imply she was somehow defective, how she wasn't sure that she wanted children even after all of this, how she never expected Leonard to betray her.
She talked and talked until it was late. Sheldon ordered Pizza and forced her to eat a slice. He insisted that she could stay in his house for as long as she needed it. He then went out and came back 2 hours later with a duffel bag full of her clothes.
Her Wackadoodle was always her Knight in Shining Armor.
In the next week things move fast. Leonard doesn't want to fight her, he signs the divorce papers but has the gall to ask 'Can we still be friends?' and it's only Sheldon's presence that stops her from beating Leonard to death.
She moves out all of her things into Sheldon's house until she can find her own place. None of the others in the group reach out to her. Not even Amy. They had made their choice.
Penny finally has her first drink of wine in over a year and she cries herself to sleep that night and the next, and the next, and the next, until Sheldon throws away all the alcohol she brought.
Penny finds it easy to slip into Sheldon's life. There's comfort in the routine, they still have Thai night, Pizza night, Halo, and even Laundry night…of course it's just them talking in Sheldon's basement as their clothes spin around. There's no one here to steal their clothes, they should go upstairs, and yet they stay right there.
Penny smiles again.