HAZEL
It was crazy how scared Hazel could be of a flash drive.
No, not scared. Terrified. Yes, that was a better word for it.
Leo had explained to her what the little devices were used for, when she'd walked in on him uploading some videos onto them. Now that she thought about it, those videos must have been the videos on the drives. It had been the night before that final battle.
Hazel wasn't in denial, like Piper. She knew Leo was dead. Styx, she'd felt him die. Like a ripping sensation inside of her. It had hurt, but it had hurt even more when she'd discovered what the sensation meant.
Nico had explained it to her. Hazel had never had the same senses he did, her powers more focused on the underground, physical elements of Hades/Pluto. Nico had always embodied the less real, spiritual part. Apparently, he felt that thing every time somebody near him died. Hazel had never felt it, but Nico thought Leo's death had appeared on her radar because of her closeness with him.
Hazel wished it hadn't.
She wished she hadn't taken the time to get to know the small, troublemaking boy who looked so much like Sammy. Wished she hadn't come to discover how different Leo was from Sammy. How Leo was anxious and hyper, while Sammy was loud and energetic. How Leo could fix anything put in front of him. How his nose caught fire when he was embarrassed, his hair when he was excited. How his smile would light up a whole room, then drop as soon as he thought nobody was looking.
If Hazel had never discovered how truly wonderful Leo was, she wouldn't be hurting the same way now.
If Leo hadn't been so stupidly heroic and brave, she wouldn't have been missing him.
If he hadn't been kind and funny and smart, he might not have left such a gaping hole behind.
RECORDING- HAZEL
The camera is handheld once more, shaking as Leo is apparently moving about the ship, occasionally stopping to repair something. His voice is breathy from his fast pace.
LEO: Hi. If you're watching this, this is my last chance to tell you any of this. I mean, this is actually my last chance. I managed to wriggle out of the meeting so I could record this, so I will almost definitely never see you again.
He continues walking, but there is a long pause before he talks again.
LEO: So. As this is my only chance to talk to you, or at least the only chance for me to tell you something and you to listen, I want you to know I'm sorry for dying. You don't need any more hardship in your life. You've been through enough, and this thing, this knowledge that I'm ditching all of my friends, leaving you behind to deal with the mess… well, if anything could keep me from going through with my plan, it'd be that.
LEO: You know, there's this little voice in my head that tells me I'm wrong to think that. That none of you will miss me, that making these is a mistake. That you're gonna move on super fast and forget about me.
LEO: But I'm getting better at recognizing when that little voice is lying. Because it is a lie. It sounds self-absorbed, but I know you guys will miss me. And I'm gonna miss you, too.
LEO: (Smiling sadly) And that's why I'm making these. I figure it'll be nice for you to have something to look back on. To remember, I guess. I wish I had something like that of my mom, so I'm giving it to you guys. I don't want your last memories of me to be me blowing up, cause that's no fun at all. I hope you'll remember the good stuff. Or at least, don't think about the bad stuff too often. Like when I suggested leaving your brother to die in a bronze jar. Or that one time I set your hair on fire…
LEO: I still feel bad about that. I hope it grows back. But maybe I shouldn't be bringing it up.
LEO: Instead, could you remember good stuff? I want to be remembered as a good friend, even if I kind of suck at that sometimes. And- and as other things. What I'm saying is, don't tell your future children I was an annoying, half-baked jerk who deserved to die.
LEO: Um. I don't really know what else to say.
He pauses, then turns around as if listening to something.
LEO: Well, something just happened at that meeting to irritate Percy, cause the pipes just exploded again. I swear, that man… I better go fix that.
Sill, he hesitates. Then he seems compelled to say something more, even though he obviously doesn't want to.
LEO: Hazel, does it hurt to die?
Immediately, he looks as though he regrets the words.
LEO: Sorry, I know that probably brings up a whole host of bad memories right there. But I can't stop thinking about it. Is it fast? I hope it is. I don't- I don't think I could go through with this if I didn't have some semblance of an illusion that it'd be over quickly.
He seems to be bracing himself, forcing himself to pull himself together. He draws himself up and sets his jaw before he speaks. Even so, his voice breaks.
LEO: I don't wanna die, Hazel.
LEO: That's really stupid, considering who I'm talking to, and what happened to you. But I don't want to die.
LEO: I know you can't answer my question. I know by the time you watch this, I'll already have my answer. That doesn't stop me from wanting to know, though.
LEO: Does it hurt?
He shakes his head, as if trying to dislodge unhappy thoughts from his head.
LEO: Well. I have to go fix the pipes. Sorry to leave you on that note.
He stares at the camera for a little while longer, obviously not wanting to turn it off. Then he shakes his head.
LEO: Bye.