-Boxer In Love-
Little Mac waited for half an hour to buy his groceries. The line was so long. It's probably because Smashmas is on its way. Everyone is getting ready to cook up a good meal. Oh well, he finally bought his shit. He began walking back home. Home is a little away. Right now, he's on a bridge that leads to the smash mansion. The great part about this, is that he gets to see the beautiful scenery. Unfortunately his moment was ruined when he bumped into his ex.
"Little Mac," She said.
"Sorry, I'm busy."
"I need to talk to you."
"What do you want?"
"I wanted to apologize for what I said to you before in the past."
"Ok where's the real Samus?"
"I'm being serious."
"Nah, apology not accepted. Get out of my way."
Little Mac started walking away, but she grabbed his arm. She gave him a sad pitiful look.
"Please Little Mac, I want us to start over."
"Nah, go play with your new boo."
"He's… Well…"
"What, you two broke up or somethin'?"
"N-no. I do think that we made a mistake though."
"Cool. Don't care."
"Sonic and I, we're not meant to be. I've been thinking a lot lately and I think that I made a mistake. You and I did."
"Yeah, the mistake was being togetha in the first place."
"I disagree."
"You can disagree."
"What I'm trying to say is that I think we should get back together."
"You ruined my life! Everyone thinks I'm an abusive person because of you."
"I know I messed up. I'll fix it. I'll tell everyone that you changed."
"That I changed? Are you serious right now?"
"Yeah."
"You can't come back from that."
"I can fix it! I can fix us."
"Samus, no!"
"Why not? I promise this time it'll be better. In fact, it'll be perfect."
"Sorry, but I'm with someone else."
"It's that Kirby chick, right?"
"Yeah."
"I'm pretty sure she cheated on you."
"Psssh! Hahahaha!"
"Snake saw her with Luigi."
"I already know that. She told me everything."
"And you're ok with that?"
"Samus fuck off and get out of my way."
"Little Mac!"
Little Mac ignored her and entered the mansion. What was her problem? Now she wants to get with him? Yeah, right. She probably has other motives. Also why would he get with his abusive ex when he's already with the best person in the world? That woman is nuts. Absolutely nuts. Whatever, she's not a problem anymore.
…
-Mario's Plan-
Samus began crying. She knew what she did to Little Mac was awful, but now that Sonic is… well lame, she wants her boxing boy back. Sonic hasn't been giving her what she wants. He's constantly avoiding sex and he doesn't act like his old self at all. She likes that he only looks at her now, but what's the point if he friend zones her. She wants a boyfriend, not some dude who pretends to like her romantically. She knew he wasn't into her anymore. She became desperate. She needs Little Mac back. He was sweet to her. Too sweet. At first she hated his chivalrous act, but now she craves it. She wants to be loved again.
"I would do anything to get him back," She cried to herself.
"Anything, huh?" A voice sang.
"Who's there?"
Samus turned around to see Mario. What is he doing here? Did he watch the whole thing? She looked pathetic back there. This is embarrassing.
"What're you doing here?" She asked.
"Well we both hate-a Kirby. I think we should form an alliance."
"I don't know…"
"Come on, if we could get rid of Kirby together, then Little Mac will come crawling back to you."
"I think he hates me for good."
"We can change that. I have an idea. We make it where Kirby breaks his heart. He'll be vulnerable and that's when you can comfort him. He'll want you back for sure. I promise."
*Sniffs* "That does sound like a good idea."
"Exactly. So how about it?" He takes out his hand for a shake.
…
-Boxer In Love-
Little Mac knocked on Kirby's door. She didn't answer. Luckily it was unlocked. Unfortunately he didn't see Kirby anywhere. Where did she go? Did something happen to her? Oh god, who took her?! It's ok Little Mac, calm down. He was gone for a while. She probably went looking for him. The best decision to make right now is to wait for her to come back. He should cook dinner. If she doesn't come back then, he'll look for her.
…
-Mario's Plan-
Kirby found Metaknight as she was searching for Little Mac. The two checked around the mall, but they didn't see him. She started to panic, but Metaknight suggested that Little Mac probably went back to her room. She didn't want to, but he reassured her that he'll look for her boyfriend. She nodded and walked away.
Metaknight decided to do some snooping. He flew around the mansion and saw Mario talking to Samus at the bridge. He flew under the bridge and listened in. It looks like Samus and Mario are planning on getting rid of Kirby. Interesting. He waited until Mario and Samus left the scene. Once they did, he flew on top of the bridge. He won't let them hurt Kirby. He checked the scene to see if the two dropped anything. He looked for clues of what exactly they're going to do, but he didn't spot anything suspicious. He was about to leave until he got hit on his back. He turned around and saw none other than Sonic the hedgehog and Ness.
Metaknight was surprised to see Ness. He was gone for so long. Unless of course this obviously isn't the real him. Sonic and Ness took an offensive stance. These two are definitely not the real ones. Mario knew Metaknight was on to him, or perhaps these fakers are his guards that makes sure no one had been spying on Mario. Very clever.
Metaknight pulled out his sword Galaxia. He must be prepared to fight. The three went at it! Sonic and Ness attacked nonstop making it hard for Metaknight to catch his breath. However, he has faster reflexes than them. He managed to land big hits on the two. He was winning at first until the two began glowing a familiar rainbow. There's no way! No one can use their final smash outside of the game! How is this happening?!
Ness used his PK starstorm and Sonic became Super Sonic. With Ness's meteors falling down onto him at the speed of sound and Sonic becoming faster than light, Metaknight couldn't keep up. The two took him down causing him to lose consciousness.
…
-Boxer In Love-
Kirby ran back to her room hoping to see Little Mac. She opened the door and was greeted with an amazing smell of carbonara. He was doing the dishes. He's back. She gave him a squeeze and he happily hugged her back.
"I finished dinner. I'll eat with you once I finish the dishes," He said.
"You don't have to do that."
"I want to."
She smiled and went to her coffee table. He already set the whole thing up. Carbonara with bread sticks. What did she even worry about? It's Little Mac! He's super strong. He can take care of himself.
…
-The Cave-
Ness was sucking up to Mario. He kept playing his games and whenever Mario was being a complete bitch to him, Ness ignored it. It was pissing Sonic off.
Sonic: "Ness, bro we need to talk."
Ness: "What do you want this time?"
Sonic: "Alright, you need to stop sucking up to Mario."
Ness: "No! Trust me, it'll work. He'll slowly let his guard down."
Sonic: "I'm starting to think this is an excuse."
Ness: "An excuse for what? I'm trying to break out!"
Kawasaki: "Why do you want to break out?"
Sonic: "Kawasaki not right now."
Kawasaki: "Did I say something wrong?"
Sonic: "Anywayyyy, you need to stop, dude. It's making me and Gordon uncomfortable."
Gordon: "Yeah, a little."
Ness: "At least I'm doing something to get out."
Sonic: "Nah, dude. I know what you're doing."
Ness: "Tell me. What am I doing?"
Sonic: "Obviously it's a kink of yours."
Ness: "You can't be serious."
Sonic: "Oh I'm serious."
Gordon: "Yeah, kid. This is getting weird. You're basically calling him master at this point."
Ness: "Am not!"
Sonic: "Listen I'm not gonna judge, but it does make me uncomfortable. You gotta keep your kinks to yourself."
Ness: "It's not a kink! You guys didn't understand what I said."
Sonic: "We get it! You're a bottom and you wanna fuck Mario. A little strange, I mean, I wouldn't go for that guy, but hey! Who am I to judge?"
Ness: "I'm not gay!"
Sonic: "Hey, hey, it's ok. We just don't want you to act freaky around Mario. It's unfair for us. We don't want to see that."
Ness: "It's not a kink! I'm doing it to get his guard down."
Gordon: "Last night he made you beg for food and you did. He started laughing. That's not letting his guard down, it's entertaining him."
Ness: "It's embarrassing, but it'll be worth it in the end. You'll see."
They heard footsteps. Mario isn't humming this time? Weird. The person was none other than Luigi. Mario's janitor. He's in charge of cleaning up waste and taking their can of cat food. However, usually this is the time where Mario wants to play a game to fuck with them.
Gordon: "Hey, where's Mario? I'm hungry."
Luigi: "M-Mario is mad at me again. I don't think he's coming today."
Gordon: "Bloody hell, what did you do this time?"
Luigi: "I uh, I spilled alcohol all over him."
Ness: "Drinking again, huh?"
Gordon: "Oh for fucks sake."
Sonic: "Wow, so he sent you over here?"
Luigi: "No, but I belong here."
Luigi sits between Ness and Kawasaki and locks himself up like the rest.
Gordon: "Not this again."
Luigi: "I've decided that I'm a prisoner now."
Ness: "Great."
Kawasaki: "Yay! A new friend!"
Sonic: "Wait, then who's gonna clean this place up?"
Luigi: "I don't know."
Sonic: "So we're going to live in our own filth now."
They heard humming from Mario. Ah, yep there he is. The legend himself.
Mario: "Hey guys how is it…"
Mario: "Luigi, what are you doing?"
Luigi: "I'm a prisoner now."
Mario: "And why is that?"
Luigi: "I spilled alcohol on you, so I deserve to be here now. I'm-a sorry, Mario."
Gordon: "Pretty pathetic if you ask me."
Mario: "Luigi, you're my brother, so I have to love you. But sometimes you make it-a so hard. Sometimes I just want to squeeze your head until it pops."
Luigi: "I'm-a sorry."
Mario: "I'm not mad."
Luigi: "You're not?"
Mario: "No, Luigi."
Luigi: "Does this mean you'll let me out?"
Mario: "Luigi, you put yourself in there. You can get out anytime."
Luigi: "Oh, hehe, right."
Luigi unlocks himself and cowers behind Mario as usual.
Gordon: "What the fuck am I watching right now?!"
Sonic: "A masterpiece, Gordon. A masterpiece."
Kawasaki: "That was so sweet." *starts crying* "Oh brotherly love!"
Mario: "Whatever, here's your food."
Mario chucks the can of cat food at each of them. One hit Kawasaki's eye and it caused it to swell. Mario couldn't help but laugh. He then left the cave. Luigi stayed back as usual to watch them eat and then retrieve the can of cat food. Couple nights ago was unusual because Luigi wasn't there. It was a good thing. For once, Ness wasn't afraid to talk about his plan. Too bad they didn't take him seriously at all. The one time Luigi was gone and they didn't even try to help Ness come up with a good plan to escape. Hmm, why wasn't Luigi there?
Ness: "Luigi, where were you two days ago?"
Luigi: "I was banging my wife."
Sonic: "Ayye fucking nice!"
Luigi: "It wasn't good."
Sonic: "Ayye… Not nice."
Luigi: "I can't seem to get Luigi JR to go up anymore."
Gordon: "Did this guy seriously name his own dick?"
Kawasaki: "I didn't know you had a son!"
Luigi: "I don't."
Kawasaki: "Then who's Luigi Jr.?"
Luigi: "It's my penis."
Kawasaki: "A penis? I don't know what that is."
Ness: "Can we not?"
Sonic: "Bro, what you got ED?"
Luigi: "Well ever since she said my dick looked like a squished goomba and I kissed Kirby, I haven't been able to get it up."
Sonic: "Holy shit, this can't be real."
Gordon: "I have no words."
Luigi: "What should I do? At this rate, she'll leave me."
Gordon: "Did you tell her about what you did with Kirby?"
Luigi: "I almost did, but I choked."
Gordon: "Fucking donkey."
Sonic: "This is the funniest shit I've heard all month."
Luigi: "Guys, I want your honest opinion."
Sonic: "Honesty is my middle name."
Kawasaki: "I thought it was The."
Gordon: "Shut up, Kawasaki."
Kawasaki: "Well isn't it?"
Sonic: "Well Luigi, we're listening."
Luigi: "Well uh, it's not listening as much as looking."
Sonic: "Sure, whatever."
Luigi: *Pulls down his pants*
Ness: "I... Oh my god."
Luigi stares at Ness and blushes.
Luigi: "Does it look bad?"
Sonic: "HOLY SHIT!"
Kawasaki: "Wow!"
Gordon: "Fucking why."
Luigi: "Does it look like a squished goomba?"
Sonic: "Damn Luigi, it's… wow. Honestly good for you."
Ness: "I think I'm gonna throw up."
Gordon: "Alright, well I've seen enough. Goodnight."
Gordon turns on his side and closes his eyes.
Luigi: "Is Daisy right?"
Sonic: "Luigi, from guy to guy it's beautiful."
Ness: "How am I the gay one?!"
Sonic: "Here we go again."
Ness: "You just called a guy's dick beautiful."
Sonic: "Ness, please you need to not. I'm not into you."
Ness: "I don't know that! You say the weirdest shit to me."
Sonic: "Listen Ness, I get that you want me, but again you need to stop and respect my boundaries."
Kawasaki: "You need to respect his boundaries."
Luigi: "Not cool, Ness."
Ness: "I hate you guys. Also Luigi, what the fuck!"
Luigi: "What?"
Ness: "Why would you show your dick to us?"
Luigi: "I uh, well I thought it was obvious what I was going to do."
Ness: "NO! YOU'RE INSANE! YOU'RE ALL INSANE!"
Gordon: "Ness shut up I'm trying to sleep!"
