Uncharacteristically Hysterical Lies

There was an empty compartment at the back of the Hogwarts Express, now racing through the countryside, thick white smoke erupting from its cylindrical chimney.

The last occupied compartment was miles away, and it was jam-packed. For some reason unbeknownst to Goji (who had basically ignored Biollante's very accurate predictions about Albus Potter), all the first-years had crammed their tiny eleven-year-old bodies into the front of the train.

Goji took an entire seat to himself. It was extremely soft and pillowy, but also exploding with pink. Apparently after Covid, the interior of the Express had taken a whole new makeover. Wizards, like Muggles, were taken by shock by this new illness, and it was a long time before some brilliant potions scientist came up with an antidote known as a "vaccine". The basic principle was to let the body deal with a controlled does of the actual disease so the victim will be immune to the actual full-blown version. Apparently, after the governments legally branded out these drugs, some conspiracy-theoretical Muggles conceived this as an attempt to poison them, and spread the word. The outcome? The No-Maj sorted it out eventually, although ages after all types of Corona Virus were deemed harmless to all wizardfolk.

However, people must have found the colorful seats amusing and demanded to keep them. With the new rise of fashion for darker and often more vintage colors, pink was simply unacceptable and therefore always left blank.

Goji heaved another great sigh.

His face was still burning after his encounter with Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy on the Platform. They didn't exactly embarrass him, just gave him something unintentionally, terribly hurting his (already low) self-esteem.

"For the last time, Goji, just because you're a pure-blood doesn't mean you are THAT related!" Biollante cried exasperatedly from somewhere behind Goji.

"Using simple logic and arithmetic we can deduce that pure-blood percentages are declining rapidly-" Spacey started from somewhere behind a huge pile of books and parchment.

"Oh for Merlin's sake, will you just SHUT UP! He had a talk with those two boys! A TALK!" Bio snarled, her eyes blazing. "You and your stupid 'logical thinking'! Don't you care about feelings?"

From what Goji could tell, his male cousin said nothing. Instead, he heard the dull thud of a thick something and stood up just in time to trip over Advanced Potions for the Well-Prepared Mind.

"Sorry." Spacey whispered as he hastily picked up his book. Actually, hauled up his book, for it served a decent weight-lift as well as an advanced textbook.

Suddenly finding the urge to tease his younger cousin, Goji picked up a line when Spacey least expected it.

"So! I see most of the stuff you are into are not required until seventh year," And then added, hastily, after seeing 101 Ways a Phoenix Could Kill You. "Or maybe not at all."

"Have you never been curious?" Spacey forced through gritted teeth, rubbing his foot where Advance Potions had landed ten seconds ago. "Owch."

"That's kinds weird, you know? A Phoenix killing a guy? Never heard of it, personally."

Spacey mumbled something that sounded like 'Inferno Season' and, realizing what he just said, quickly assumed position of a person with a sudden interest in a beetle flying outside the window.

"AAAGH! You're both no fun!" Goji hissed, deflated and agitated.

Biollante looked deeply offended. "I'll have you know, these plants which I have been playing my flute to are the last of their kind."

"And what are they?" Goji inquired distractedly, his voice dull with distaste.

"Roses. Actually, they are Carnivorous Ro-"

But she never got the chance to finish her sentence because at that moment the compartment door burst open.

"GOJI!"

"RODEY!"

A flash of auburn zipped past the aisle and crashed onto Goji, enfolding him in a rib-shattering hug.

"You saved my life! How could I ever thank you!" Goji was so desperate he put on an air of mock joy, as if he was a damsel in distress.

"Then don't. I don't need it anyway." Rodey flushed, making his freckles look even more prominent.

"Oh will you two please hush, as you can plainly see, I am in very important busin-" An irritated looking Biollante called from the back.

"Anyway, I think I should introduce my cousins in more detail now!"

"Booooring! Let's watch this Quidditch match instead." A roll of parchment instantly appeared in Rodey's fist, and he unrolled it in a professional way. Then he cleared his throat.

"Ahem. Witches and Wizards of all over the globe, let the annual Dragon Dance begin!"

Rodey broke into fits of coughing and choking, only stopping when Goji seriously started suspecting he had ruptured a vital organ (knowing not a lot about the human body).

At last, he befreckled friend recovered, and began filling him in at a rapid pace, what happened at the China-versus-Russia Quidditch match.

"The parchment here only recorded a third of the entire thing." Rodey explained, spreading the paper (which was threatening to roll back up again. Goji wondered how long had it been in Rodey's pocked, drenched in sweat) out so fast it nearly ripped.

"But I can tell you the whole thing. In immaculate detail. So would you rather watch the parchment like a telly-visy-whateveryoucallit, or listen to me?"

Knowing Rodey would probably start blabbering nonstop whichever he chose (he felt watching the parchment was more dangerous) and drive him (and perhaps Biollante first) crazy, Goji decided to put a brief stop on the ordeal and start a topic elsewhere.

Unfortunately, his first word was intercepted by the compartment door banging open again ("Ugh! Not again!"). This time it was Goji's other friend, Anguirius. They had made terrible first impressions to each other (starting a fight in Diagon Alley, and channeling some unknown animal-like force from within them), but had become great pals ever since.

They fist-bumped, high-fived, and did every other thing Anguirius could think of, regarding his existence as a half-blood.

"Dad told me lots about his life in the country, running mills and such. Mom said I was a natural-born Hufflepuff, but I told her I wanted to be fierce. Then I told her about our fight, and I showed her my scar, but it had vanished, and she gave me a good long time hanging by my ankle in the laundry room. It was super noisy, and the house elf kept zooming in, and every time he did so he said something different about my hair. No wonder we call him Zippy. There isn't anything wrong with it, is there?" Anguirius added shortly, after finally noticing Goji and Rodey staring at him oddly.

After Goji and Rodey both shook their heads, Anguirius breathed a huge sigh of relief.

And then he realized his friends weren't looking at him, after all.

They were in fact, staring at something right behind him.

Anguirius turned around.

Silhouetted against the door to their compartment was the shadow of a boy, quite large for most first-years. He was talking to someone else, and that particular someone else was nothing but a barely recognizable shadow behind the door.

The only thing the five people (now Spacey and Biollante had come to look) in the empty compartment heard was, "Alright. See you in a minute."

Goji recognized that voice the moment before its master came bursting into the door.

Biollante would have shrieked with rage and threatened the boy with an Unforgivable Curse if she hadn't been warned beforehand to leave her flowers.

And even more so if she saw them wilting the second the tall boy came striding into the doorway.

The same boy that helped them off Platform 9 and into 9 ¾.

He went straight to Spacey (who was a full head shorter), bent over, and whispered something to him.

Spacey's expression instantly transformed but he concealed it just as fast.

The boy wore a different look too, now, and used his fingers to sign something that had Goji dizzy with the speed he was interweaving them.

As if on cue, Spacey opened his mouth the moment the cryptic finger-coding ended.

"We can't do that! Not on the train! Can't you wait?"

"No. The Ghidorah's are waiting. They think me being a Muggle-born means being easy to boss around. So let's not keep them waiting. They don't look after half-bloods either."

"Oh my goodness, Dessy! You can just punch them!"

"Your bodyguards are waiting."

"Krystalak and Obsidius are my BROTHERS!"

"Fine. Whatever. Let's go!"

Spacey was swept out of the room by his 'old pal'.

There was a moment of silence in the compartment before Rodey had another hacking seizure.

"Oh. That kid." Biollante said, almost boredly, but she had stayed rigid.

"So uhh...would someone fill me in?" Rodey ventured, cautiously.

"I'd follow him too if I knew he's called Destoroyah." Anguirius said, matter-of-factly.

"MY COUSIN'S FOLLOWING A WHO NOW-"

"Dest-o-ro-yah." Anguirius repeated, slowly. "It'll sink in."

Goji felt like he was about to burst.

"NOT HIS NAME! I MEAN...HOW HIS NAME! I MEAN…" Goji fumbled for words. No. He wasn't going to let something like a name trouble his thoughts.

But it sounded so menacing and suspicious!

No.

Not by a name.

"Don't judge a book by its cover, Anguirius." He finally managed to spit out. "They'll be back. Soon. I hope."

All three friends sat back down, rather gloomily.

"Well, I s'ppose we'll just have to wait 'till Space gets back. Can't believe it...it's so unnatural to miss the sound of him flipping pages…"

"You still wanna hear about that Quidditch match?" Rodey questioned.

Goji knew his friend was aiming for the greater good, and obliged.

Luckily, Anguirius was rooting for the Chinese Chinas ("Odd name, don'tcha think. Actually, the second word means the material 'china'." "I knooow that!")

He also had a friend from around there, called Caesar.

"Oh wait 'till you meet him." Anguirius said as the sky was getting dark (Rodey still hasn't reached the peak of his storytelling. A lot of it was dedicated to his own Quidditch skills.). "You'll never be bored again."