Good morning, Darlings!

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Chapter 14

My body goes cold when I realize what I have uttered aloud. Never in my life have those words been spoken to anyone who was not my sister.

I did not even know I felt that way until I hear the words tumble from my lips.

Edward is stiff above me, unmoving, and for a terrible moment, I fear I have ruined everything. Love, I have been told, does not have a place in a marriage.

But then I think of Carlisle and Esme, who very much adore each other, and I cannot help but wonder if this belief is another form of torture from my grandmother.

"What?" Edward croaks, and I do not think I have it in me to confess it again. I have never felt so exposed and vulnerable, and I wish I could curl up and hide from him.

But his body is on top of mine, and indeed still inside me, and there is nowhere to go.

I summon my courage and turn my gaze to his. "I love you."

The words are a whisper on my lips, small and meek. Edward's eyes are round, like the moon, and just as large.

And then, when I fear I cannot take any more of his silence, Edward bends, his lips capturing mine.

I moan against his mouth, as our bodies rub together in our kiss. It feels better than good.

"My Bella," Edward croaks, breaking our kiss. He presses his lips to my throat, and back behind my ear, making my body undulate in a fresh wave of desire. "My dear, sweet Bella," he groans. "I have loved you since the moment I first held your hand on our wedding day."

I pull back from him, surprised. "What?"

He gives me a boyish smile that is so young and youthful, it takes my breath away. "The moment you tripped into my life, I have loved you. I love the fire your tongue sparks, and the courage that beats in your heart. I love your compassion and grace for those around you, your ability to care for people, even when you fear them." He presses a kiss to my cheek. "I love you for your sharp mind and the wisdom you hold. You are in every way more than I could ever be, and I love you for it all."

My eyes fill with tears at his words, and I swallow hard, reaching a hand up to brush through his hair.

"I am not so much," I whisper, shaking my head.

"You are," Edward argues, bending to kiss my other cheek. "My Bella, you are everything."

As blissful as the pleasure was of what we have just shared, it is nothing compared to the warmth spreading through me now. I feel lighter than air, brighter than sunlight. I feel as if I could float to heaven itself on this feeling.

I wind my fingers through Edward's hair and bring his face down to mine, kissing him again. He shifts his hips, slipping out of me, and the loss of him feels heavy for a moment. But I quickly forget the empty sensation as his tongue sweeps along mine.

I do not know to what good deed I owe having such a being as Edward for my husband, but I would gladly do it again and again, in sheer gratitude that this wonderful man loves me as I love him in return.

…

Edward and I slip between sleep and passion all night. My body is tired and sore by the morning, but I am so content, I do not care. Edward is on his back, one of his arms around me as I curl up over his chest. My fingers drift over his skin, following the lines of his body in fascination. No such firm lines exist on my own soft form.

I can feel Edward's fingers gently combing through the ends of my hair. Neither of us has spoken in some time, happy to be in each other's embrace.

"I thought of you, every day," Edward murmurs after a while. I look up at him, my hands stilling on his chest. "Most days, the thought of coming home to you was the only thing that kept me going. So often I longed to wander out into the battlefield, unarmed, unprotected, and let God take me."

The very idea sends a shudder through me, and I feel myself hug him a little tighter.

"But then, I would think of you, home without me, and I would find the will to keep going."

I press a kiss to his chest, my fingers picking up their tracing as I find the courage to ask my question.

"Why did you not write?"

Edward sighs. "Fear, mostly. I did not want you to be contaminated by the plague of war." He shook his head. "In my mind, I wanted to shield you from all its ugliness, including me."

I frown. "It scared me, to not know anything about what was happening to you."

Edward's arm comes around me a little tighter. "I am sorry," he whispers. "I wish now that I had acted differently. The truth was, I hated myself for what I was doing, and I did not want to return home to find you hated me too." He lets out a small, dry laugh. "Of course, I managed to botch that."

"I did not hate you," I protest softly. I can feel his gaze on me.

"No, you only feared me."

We are both quiet, lost in the shame of his statement. I did fear him. But it had not taken him long to convince me otherwise.

"Before you returned, my sister said something to me," I say slowly. I feel Edward stiffen, and I fight to not roll my eyes at him. "She said that you went to war on my behalf." I turn to look at his face.

I see something pass through his eyes, and then he is holding tension in his jaw as he takes a breath.

"It is true," I gasp, sitting up slightly. "Why? I do not understand."

Edward lets out a sigh. "The duke is many things," he says slowly. "But above all, he is self-serving and paranoid." Edward glances at me. "Before we met, I planned to leave the duke's service. It has been a more than admirable post for me, but my heart is not in war. It never has been. I planned to leave, but word reached the duke and I was summoned to meet with him." Edward's brows furrow as he recounts his tale. "He feared I was leaving to serve the king and that I would start an exodus of his men. That is how our marriage came to be. He ordered me to marry his future wife's sister, and in return, my family would want for nothing again and I would be kin to the duke." Edward shakes his head. "The morning after we wed, he sent me on campaign, without time to even wake you and explain what was happening. I tried at first to fight him, to bargain for time to bring you to Rowanberry, but he threatened to kill me and take you as his whore." My mouth drops open in shock, and Edward's eyes are dark and murderous. "To protect you from him, I left as swiftly as possible."

I stare at him in stunned silence. Though it is not as I thought, Edward truly did go to war on my behalf.

"This is all my fault." I gasp, tears filling my eyes as I lay back over him.

"No, my Bella. None of this is your fault. The fault lies with the devious duke and others in power like him. We are not but pawns in their games." He cups my face in his hands and I am forced to look up at him. "I would withstand every hardship I have faced a thousand times over if it meant every time I ended right here, in your arms, with your love in my heart."

My tears spill over, and I blink hard to push them away. Edward leans forward, and I reach up, kissing him, my hand landing over his heart.

It does feel like a true miracle of the divine, that out of so much greed and corruption, Edward and I have been able to find each other, and within our union, solace from the world that would harm us.

…

The sun is particularly warm, and in my exhausted state, nothing seems more inviting than to curl up under the rowan tree in the garden. I have my sewing with me, but since I have settled under the tree, I have not bothered to pick it up.

Instead, I am watching the birds flit above me, calling out to one another with cheery disposition. The only task to be done today is for Edward regarding his military post. Since he is still uneasy speaking about it, I have decided to give him space to work through what he must.

It has been nearly a week since Edward and I took the next step in our marriage, and though we have hardly slept a night since, I find I have never been happier.

A lark lets out a tune somewhere above me, and I smile, singing softly to match it.

"I did not know you sing."

I turn my head to find Edward striding through the garden toward me. I offer him a smile, sitting up from where I am sprawled in the grass.

"Only imitations, really," I counter.

Edward settles behind me, his strong back against the tree, and motions me toward him. Happily I crawl into his lap, curling into his arms with a long sigh.

"Will you sing something else?" Edward asks, one of his hands brushing my loose hair over my shoulder.

I smile, my fingers twining through his. "What would you like to hear?" I ask.

I can feel rather than hear him hum. "A lullaby, perhaps."

I bite my lip then nod. I know only two lullabies, the one I once sang to soothe him being the one stronger in my mind. But today is not a somber occasion I often associate with that song, so I open my mouth to sing him the other. "Lullay lullow, lullay lully, Beway bewy, lullay lullow, Lullay lully, Baw me bairne, sleep softly now," I start, my fingers playing with Edward's. "I saw a sweet and seemly sight, A blissful burd, a blossom bright, That morning made and mirth among."

It has been a very long time since I have heard the song, but it comes back to me as if no time has passed. Rosalie may have been a child when she taught me, but somehow the song has stuck in my mind.

Edward's arms tighten around me, and I feel him press a kiss to my shoulder. "You will be a wonderful mother," he whispers.

I pause my song, glancing at him. "I do wonder, sometimes," I admit, a frown crossing my brow. "How I might fare, given that…" I pause, swallowing the lump that is forming in my throat. How am I to be a successful mother if I have never had a mother of my own to guide and teach me?

Edward's arms squeeze around me again. "It is part of who you are," he tells me. "In the very heart of you. You have tremendous love. I am certain when you need it, it will guide you."

His words bring tears to my eyes, and I reach up to brush them away.

"Are you finished with your business?" I ask, wishing to change the subject of conversation.

Edward lets out a long and weary sigh. "For now." His thumb taps lightly against my stomach, and I know this is a sign of him in thought rather than an act for my attention. "Though, I do have some news to share."

At this, I twist in his arms, curious. "What is it?"

Edward's mouth is a firm, flat line. "The duke has summoned me early to his home. I am to leave the day after tomorrow."

My heart flips in my chest. "So soon? But we are not expected for nearly a fortnight."

Edward nods. "I know. He has sent word that he wishes me to be around earlier, to discuss the campaign and other matters."

I can see how much my husband detests the idea. I know that should I choose it, I could stay at Rowanberry and join Edward later this month. Edward would never ask me to come early, knowing how I dislike leaving the manor.

But I can see it in his eyes. He wants me with him, wishes not to be separated just as I do not.

I take a breath, finding my resolve.

"We shall leave tomorrow," I say after a moment. "We should inform Angela and Seth."

Edward looks surprised. "You do not have to come early," he starts.

I shake my head. "I know," I agree. "But I am your wife, and I have sworn to stand by you." Even if it means leaving our home for longer than we have already planned, and facing the court life that sometimes threatens to consume my sister.

Edward leans down, pressing a kiss to my lips. His touch is so sweet, it takes most of the sting out of having to leave.

The duke's manor is not terribly far from Rowanberry: a single day on horseback. In the carriage, it takes longer, but we still aim to arrive before nightfall. I would rather take Sweetblue, but I know that Edward and I will now be scrutinized for our every action, and that it is best to pick our battles with the duke and his court.

So we ride in the carriage.

This time, however, neither of us seems to mind the tight quarters.

It is near midday on our journey when I reach my arms out to stretch, my body feeling rigid and tight from the bumpy ride.

"Are you well?" Edward asks.

I look up at him and nod. "My body is tense from sitting," I tell him. I hear him hum, and then a wicked look enters his eyes. I am immediately on alert. "What?" I ask, looking around myself.

I turn back to Edward, who leans forward in his seat, smiling.

"Lean back," he says. "And do your best to be quiet."

My mouth drops open in shock as he slips down onto his knees on the carriage floor.

"What are you doing?" I hiss as he reaches for the hem of my dress.

He looks up at me with that roguish smile. "Helping you relax," he tells me.

"There is not space here to lie down," I point out to him.

He chuckles as he slides my skirts up my legs. "I know. But there is more than one way to enjoy you," he says, pressing a kiss to the inside of my knee. It makes me shiver. "What better time to savor you?" he says, pushing the skirts all the way up around my hips, so that my core is exposed.

"Edward, what if we are seen?" I ask around my giggle.

Edward presses a kiss to my inner thigh, and I let out a soft moan, my legs spreading wider at his touch. I can feel his nose brush against me, and I gasp in surprise.

"Who would know?" he asks, pressing a kiss to my thigh again. "You have no idea how inviting you are," Edward whispers, and I can feel the vibration of his voice at my core. My hips buck on instinct. "So decadent and alluring." His eyes flicker up to meet mine, and I can see him smile before his tongue slips between his lips. With one long lick, Edward passes over me and I cry out in instant arousal.

"Quiet, my Love. We do not want to alarm Seth."

Edward nestles in against my thigh and licks again. I throw a hand over my mouth to muffle the moans pouring out of me. Though Edward has done this to me before, each time feels somehow better than the last.. His tongue is hot, wet, and soft as it slides around, lapping at me. From the satisfied growls coming from my husband, he is gaining just as much pleasure from this as I am.

I did not know such an act was possible outside of a bed, but now that he has begun in our carriage, I fear my body will demand this on each journey we take.

Somehow, I suspect my eager husband will be more than up for the task.

Edward grabs my hips, pulling me forward on the bench seat so that I open further to him. I moan, my hands leaving my mouth to sink into his hair, urging him deeper and closer to me. I can feel my body coiling as his tongue slips over that point of pleasure before it licks down my opening, lapping inside of me. I want him deeper, and I press my hips against his face, desperate.

Edward finds that place again, and takes it between his lips, sucking in. I gasp, my body curling in undulating rapture. I cannot breathe, cannot see, as I ride out the wave. It is by far stronger than any other pleasure I have found thus far, and as the initial glow of it subsides, I am left euphoric.

"My Bella?"

I open my eyes, my neck feeling as if it can no longer hold my head aloft.

"Hm?" I ask, unable to speak yet.

"Are you well?"

I smile. "Hm," I answer.

Edward laughs and places a kiss to my thigh. I feel him retreat from me, and I look up, confused. I want to return some of the pleasure to him, however that might be possible.

Edward sits back on the bench seat, and his eyes meet mine. His face and beard are wet, shining from my body.

It is shockingly arousing.

"I want more." The words are out of my mouth before I can think about them. They surprise me, and I can see on Edward's face, I have surprised him too.

Then he smiles and beckons me toward him.

"Come, my Love. I think it is time we explore something a little different."

I am not sure what that means, but I am willing to find out, for Edward.

He helps me stand awkwardly in the carriage, gathering my skirts up around my hips again. I watch him in surprise as he leads me by the hips over his lap, my knees landing on the outside of his legs, my bare center resting over his still clothed lap.

"I have been told women can find great pleasure on top," Edward tells me. I look at him in alarm. Do we not fit together in only one way? Are there other ways for our bodies to connect?

"I-I do not know how," I start, feeling panicked.

"I know, my Love. It is okay. I shall help you."

I feel him reach down, loosening his breeches. He lifts me up to slide them down his hips then brings me back down over his lap. I can feel his bare thighs under mine, and my body clenches in anticipation.

"Like this," Edward murmurs, reaching under my skirts to stroke me. I moan at his touch, and then I feel him move himself at my entrance. Together, we lift my body up on his lap until he is positioned at my entrance, and then slowly, I settle over him.

It feels tighter and deeper this way, and I let out a long moan, my head dropping to his shoulder. I can feel my body pulsing around him, hungry for movement, but I have to give myself a moment to adjust to the mass of him.

I feel Edward press a kiss to my shoulder, and I tilt my head up, looking at him.

"I love you," he whispers, bringing my lips to his. He tastes different, tangier and darker, and I realize that I am tasting myself on his lips.

It is a heady experience.

Edward helps guide me, placing his hands on my hips and lifting me up over him before dropping my body back down. It is difficult in the carriage, but eventually we find a rhythm that has both of us panting.

Edward leans forward, pressing kisses to my throat and the small parts of my bosom that are exposed. I wish we were both naked, for I want to run my tongue over his chest, to taste him as he has now tasted me.

I want more.

The carriage hits a bump that drives him into me, and I cry out, my head dropping to his shoulder. I can feel his hand slip down between us, rubbing at that point on my body.

"Come on, Love." He groans, kissing my shoulder. "Give in."

The wave of pleasure comes upon me quickly as Edward manipulates me with his hand. I start to shatter, my body pulsing around his, milking him as he succumbs to his own unraveling.

My arms are wound around his neck, hugging him to me as close as possible. His arms are around my waist, doing the same.

For a moment, neither of us moves, both too caught in the aftershocks.

Then slowly, I unwind my arms from around his neck, and Edward helps me up off of him. I am a mess, and Edward produces a handkerchief, gently guiding me back into my seat before he drops down and kneels before me to wipe up my legs. He places a kiss to my knee when I am cleaned up and I smile at him in gratitude. He sits back in his seat, and we both spend a few moments righting our clothes, making sure we are both presentable.

He looks happy and relaxed, a serene smile on his handsome face.

I wish it could stay like this.

"I love you," I tell him.

He leans forward, and I do too, meeting him in the middle of the carriage. Our lips meet for a brief, sweet kiss.

"I love you too," he murmurs against my mouth.

Outside, I hear Seth call for the carriage to pull to a stop, and we break apart, looking up. Edward pulls the curtain back in the small window, and immediately, a scowl comes over his face.

"We are here."

My euphoria is replaced with trepidation, and I reach out to my husband, taking his hand. He looks over at me in surprise.

"I love you," I say again, because it feels worth repeating right now.

His smile is strained but genuine. "As I love you," he says quietly. "Come along, Love. It is time to face our demons."