It's been a week of normal, or as normal as this town can be, when Lexi pads out of the house, intent on catching some much needed sun. So, she's in a plain black string bikini, and her snowy hair is in a tight bun, with a towel over her arm.
"Having fun?" she calls up to the Pines, as they're on that rooftop patio, setting off fireworks.
"Come set off some!" Mabel calls.
"Thanks, but I'm going to pass," she calls up.
Walking around to the back of the house, she lays out the towel, drops her shorts, and flops onto her belly, sighing as the sun hits her flesh.
"Water balloon attack!"
"Eek!" Lexi bolts up, screaming as the twins attack her with icy water. "Oh, you're so dead!" she laughs, chasing them.
It's in the midst of them having fun, a SWAT team, in full gear, storm the house. Lexi grabs the twins' shoulders, keeping them close, as the uniformed men exclaim to each other through their head sets.
"Kids and fish, secure!"
"Fish?" Lexi echoes, blinking in shock.
She watches as Stan gets led to them, in handcuffs, but is pressed down against the hood of a dark SUV. She grips the twins tighter, as they try going to the man, and the last person she'd expected appears.
"Your uncle isn't the man he claims to be. We have reason to believe there's a doomsday device somewhere on this property," Powers explains.
"A doomsday device?" Lexi echoes. "Did you hit your head when those zombies attacked you? There's nothing here but what you see!"
"Oh, you poor deceived children," he tuts. "Arrest Amero as well."
"Wait, what?!"
"You're under arrest for accessory to theft of government property," Trigger states.
Lexi is forced into an SUV with Stan, while the kids are put in another one, and Stan calls for them, trying to reassure them.
Powers takes them to the police station, and puts them in separate holding rooms.
"Hey, could I have a blanket? It's cold in here," Lexi grumbles to the agent she doesn't know, who, for some reason, is tasked with standing in the room silently.
"You shouldn't have been running around naked," he scolds, not moving.
"I was tanning, and the kids got me with water balloons," she grits her teeth.
"Running around naked," he repeats.
"Argh! Why'd I have to be stuck with the gay prick?" she whines.
"The fuck you call me?" he demands, slamming his hands on the table, a snarl on his face.
"Gay prick," she repeats, slowly, just to piss him off.
"I'm not gay, you little bitch!" he growls, leaning across the table, and getting right in her face.
She scoffs, using all of her earned bravado from working in the bar, "Right. Then I must be a man under these baggy clothes. Wait, I'm not wearing anything," she smirks.
"I'm not gay," he growls.
She leans forward, knowing she's on very thin ice, and whispers, "Prove it." When he stays silent, she leans back, a satisfied smirk on her face, "Called it. Return to your corner, like a good dog," she coos, crossing her legs, and looking away. Clear dismissal.
"Why, you…" He reaches out, and grabs her shoulders, dragging her onto the table, and slamming his mouth against hers in a bruising kiss. When he pulls away, he smirks, "Not gay."
"Maybe," she allows. "Still a prick, though."
He slams a fist into her face, and Lexi sprawls to the floor, shoulders crying in protest as her bound hands jerk. "Say that again, you little bitch," he dares, walking around and standing over her.
She rolls to the side, spitting out the blood before it can go down her throat, and she gasps at the pain in her face. "Bastard!"
"That's enough, Schwartz," Powers barks, as he walks in. "Go cool off." When the man has left, Powers walks in, along with two others, and he grabs her bicep, hauling her to her feet, before letting her sit down in the chair. "Go grab some ice. Amero, were you goading him?"
"Called him a stiff," she informs, only to yell in pain, as he grips her nose, straightening it. She swears colorfully, and growls.
"Well, you got a broken nose for insulting one of my men. It could have been worse, kid."
"Why exactly am I being arrested, anyway?" she grumbles at him.
"That is easily answered," he reaches back, grabbing a tablet, and playing a video of two people, in full hazmat suits, taking hazardous waste. "You and Stan Pines have been arrested for stealing government property."
She blinks at him, "You think one of those people is me? I'm not strong enough to lift a barrel half that size filled with water. Besides, after we were done stocking the gift shop, we went to the bar," she informs.
"We've been watching the Pines, and you, all summer."
"Since the zombie incident. And the little shit was just trying to win your favor," she points out.
"Be that as it may," he coughs. "We have more then enough reason to believe you and Stan Pines are building a doomsday device. In a few hours, you'll be transported to Washington, to under-go questioning. On a polygraph test," he adds. "We'll see if your stories hold up." He gets to his feet, and walks out, barking, "Get her a blanket."
She would have grimaced at his back, but the pain in her face stops her from doing so, and she winces instead. An agent brings in a blanket, and drapes it over her shoulders, before walking back out.
With a sigh, Lexi puts her head down on the table, suddenly exhausted. She doesn't know how many hours have passed, or how many gravity altering times, but eventually, three agents come in.
"Time to go, Amero. Woah, hey!" That's when a big no-gravity moment happens.
Floating backwards, Lexi kicks off the wall, and lands a harsh kick in the belly of one, who happens to have the key to her cuffs, which she grabs, before kicking off him, and another, and landing outside the door. She shuts it, just as gravity re-takes effect, and she locks the door, hands still behind her back.
"S-Stan!" she calls, running over to him, and they race out together.
Lexi hides behind an upside down car, while Stan pays a taxi to drive as far from the Shack as possible, before hiding with her.
"They've escaped! Obviously follow that cab!"
"Clear," Lexi breathes. "Let's go."
"Here," he takes the keys, and undoes her cuffs. "Now, let's go."
They take off running, ignoring as most everyone stops to stare as they do so. They make quite the sight, what with Stan not wearing his red fez, and disheveled. Lexi is in the swimsuit, and her face is bruised, nose swollen from being broken. The pair race through the forest, cutting through, instead of taking the road.
Lexi can feel herself lagging, and falls behind, but doesn't stop. She even kicks off from trees, continuing in the direction of the Shack, when gravity stops again. When she finally makes it, the agents are surrounding the Shack, exclaiming about having found a door, and hearing people talking from the basement. That's when the totem pole starts wiggling.
Clapping her hands over her ears, she drops to the ground, and when things seem to have settled down, she gets up, seeing who is undoubtedly Stan's twin, walking onto the porch, holding what must be some of Mabel's drawings.
She doesn't feel bad, when all of them drive off, beyond confused.
"Gruncle Ford, that was awesome!" Mabel enthuses.
"Meh, it was passable," Stan grumbles. Then sees her, and jumps down off the porch, "Lexi, you look like cra-ckers," he quickly corrects himself.
"I feel like crackers," she admits.
"You never told me how you got that?"
"Who is this?"
"Can it Ford! Lexi, what happened?"
"Insulted one of those guys," she shrugs.
Stan tips her head back, looking her over, "That's not only a broken nose… Did someone…?"
Lexi offers an evil smirk, "I insinuated something. He just had to prove me wrong," she shrugs.
"So… you were kissed, hard enough to bruise?" Mabel asks. "Oh, you poor thing!"
"I then said his kiss sucked, and insulted him again, so he…" she motions to her face.
Stan roars with laughter, slapping her back fondly, "Kid, you've got some serious spunk! Why can't you be like, twenty years older?"
Lexi shakes her head, offering a small smile to Ford, "Hi, welcome to the craziest place in the world. I'm Lexi, a family friend, and you are?"
"Call me Ford," he introduces, jumping down, and shaking her hand.