Chapter 20

Lily knew what she had to do. The idea made her uncomfortable, but the uncertainty was even worse. The sensitive woman had feelings for the big Delorgan, strong ones, but she was also not interested in getting into some sort of competition either. Though petite in stature she also had an inner fire and pride that many did not see. No, it was time to be frank and trust the fates.

The determined woman entered the Sorrowful Ranger inn resolved to find the object of her desire or wait for him until she could.

There was to be no wait.

The burly fighter sat at his table, a mug and plate of food having just been put in front of him. Suddenly the woman was unsure of her path and if this was the right thing to do. She could still leave since he had not seen her yet. But no, it was time to confront this and see where she stood. With new determination she walked over to his table.

"Good morning, Pherein," Lily stated cheerfully. The look of surprise that did not change to delight was a dagger in her heart making her even more determined.

"Hello, Lily, it is good to see you," the fighter answered, trying quickly to collect his thoughts.

"More of a surprise, it seems," Lily answered, an edge to her voice. "May I sit down?"

Pherein caught the tone and was put off guard by it. Yet, honestly, he was, and was uncertain what to say to her. "Please, do," he gestured.

"I was sorry to hear of the attempt on your life," the woman stated honestly though there was another element to the declaration evident.

"Yes, it was…."

"But I was surprised to hear who you were with," Lily cut him off. The woman waited to see the fighter's reaction before proceeding. "And I understand she saved your life. I suppose I owe her a debt." The observant blond-haired woman could see the man was uncertain how to proceed.

What do I do? Maybe it's unfair to press him like this, she thought to herself. Indecision came in, the little voice reminded her she was a slave and deserved nothing. Uncertainty again rose up but this time it was like bile. Maybe I should just take what I can get and see where things go…

"No!" She said more to herself but coming out strongly. No, she would not settle anymore. She wanted more, believed she deserved more, so it was time to speak for herself.

"Excuse me?" Pherein asked, confused by the declaration.

The die was cast, Lily decided to just lay it out. "Pherein, I have feelings for you, strong ones that I would like to explore. Molly loves you and talks about you often. But I will not be trifled with, and I will not enter some sort of competition for your attention or affections. I may have been a slave, and I may have little to offer, but I do not deserve this."

"Lily, I…"

"I am not finished, do not interrupt," Lily snapped. "If you want me, or even to see if there is something between us, declare yourself or if you want the dark-haired girl go to her. To play each of us like some lute is unfair to both of us."

"You're right, I have been unfair," Pherein stated touched by the sincerity and humbled by the courage of the diminutive woman. "I am truly sorry and have been unfair."

"I do not want your apologies, I want you. So, choose Pherein MacDiarmidson." A flash of hope came into her expressive blue eyes as she waited. She licked her pink lips nervously but also with a sense of anticipation.

"Lily…I…I am still trying to make sense of…," Pherein began but the woman would have no part in it.

"Stop," Lily stated with a raised hand and hurt look on her face. "Your choice is obvious to me if not you." She sighed heavily and her beautiful face clouded in disappointment. "I wish you every happiness in your life with this woman Lauren or whoever. Good day Pherein."

And Lily left.

Forty-five minutes later, Pherein sat at his table, plate of mutton and cheese untouched, tankard of ale in hand, undrunk, the foam dissipating. The Delorgan thought of his conversation with Lily, then of his last time with Lauren, then back to Lily, then Lauren again. And his food and drink continued to sit untouched. To the outside observer he was a man deep in thought, peaceful seeming even. Yet the reality was much different. He was a cauldron of emotion and uncertainty. In moments like this he wondered anew why he had ever left the isles.

But he knew.

The small voice within chided him for his pride and now for his indecision towards women. He had never had any problem in this area before but then he had never had such strong feelings towards a woman before. And now he had feelings for two. He cursed the gods who the Delorgan imagined sitting in the heavenlies laughing at the tormented fighter. Put an orc, or wight before him, even a dragon, and he would know what to do. Replace the beasts with a blonde or a brunette and suddenly his steady hand went to mush. Yet in some ways his conversation with Lily had forced his hand. He couldn't blame the woman, but he also didn't like being pushed to a decision when he was unsure of his feelings. Yet Lily's declaration made things easier. His path was with Lauren, he would allow Lily her dignity and move forward with the beautiful student. He had hoped the thought would give him comfort or at least resolve yet it seemed to settle nothing though he was glad he had finally made a decision.

"I tell ye, there is something not right about all this."

The frustrated voice of one of the city Watch broke the tormented man out of his contemplation. Indeed, he was looking for a distraction to end his unending reflections.

"Ah, ye're daft, Sully. Tis nothing. Just another runaway," the rail thin guard's companion replied nonchalantly.

"From the Merchant's District? That does not happen. Tis the third one in a ten day," the guard Sully retorted to his pock mark faced companion. "No, the mayor and the sheriff are keeping something from us. There is some evil afoot. I can feel it."

"I don't know," the other said, a growing lack of conviction evident in his voice. "I be sure there tis a simple explanation."

"Sure, the Nine Hells have opened," Sully snorted. "Anyways, let's be going, we have rounds to complete."

The two Watchmen left, leaving the Delorgan to contemplate what he had heard. Pherein thought back to the night when he had heard the scream and run to find a child missing who had only moments before been seen by her mother. The wise warrior had a sense about him that had kept him alive in more fights than he could count, and he tended to agree with the guardsman Sully- something was going on in Grantsbend. Yet his quiet investigation on behalf of the mayor had turned up nothing. But then he had to confess he had not put a lot of effort into the charge either. A new source of guilt welled up; the accusation of a new failure took his appetite.

Failure in love and now failure in this…so much for your time away from the isle. They made you, not the other way around…concede defeat, give up.

The voice in the Delorgan's head kept pounding away like a blacksmith at a forge. So, Pherein resolved to work harder to solve this mystery of why people were disappearing and what it meant.

He thought back to what he knew. Of course, reviewing that night got him thinking about where he had been earlier in in the evening- with Lily. And so the cycle of thought began anew.

"Excuse me, Master MacDiarmidson?"

Pherein's contemplation was again broken by the sight of a boy in his early teens wearing simple clothes and standing before him.

"Yes, I am he," the Delorgan announced.

"A letter, sir, with the lady's compliments," the boy announced. With a bow he handed the fighter a sealed note, turned then walked away.

Curious, Pherein opened it. In elegant script and on fine paper, a note from Lauren asked him to meet her at his convenience in her room on the university campus.

"Well, perhaps this will shed some light on out situation," the man said to himself. He was eager also to look to move forward with Lily now having left his life. Warm memories of their times with Lauren flooded in and he smiled at the thought of being able to be all in with the beautiful student. Leaving the Tap Room of the inn he went to his room, washed up, dressed in better clothes, and headed to the university.

A short time later he found himself standing at the now familiar door and knocked. Lauren quickly opened it and invited the warrior in with a nervous smile on her face. The Delorgan entered the woman's handsomely appointed suite and realized for the first time just how opulent and expensively decorated it was. Though he had known wealth as a Jarl's son it was nothing likely of this magnitude. The observant islander then looked at the woman who was now the center of his thoughts. Her previously confident demeanor was gone, and she was evidently nervous.

"I received your message to meet you here," the fighter declared figuring it was time to get to the bottom of things.

"Thank you for coming, Pherein." Lauren responded woodenly, fidgeting nervously with her glasses and unable to make eye contact.

"Did you have a pleasant time with your parents?" Pherein asked, not really caring but uncomfortable in the now awkward disposition between them.

"I…I…Pherein, I have to tell you something," Lauren declared.

The Delorgan could tell it was not going to be pleasant. "Okay, what is it.?"

There is no easy way to say this." The obviously distraught woman looked at the expensive rug on the floor. "Meeting you has been one of the sweetest, most important things that have happened to me. I have such strong feelings…and then what happened the other day…." Her voice trailed off and a single tear rolled out of her expressive eye, sliding down her porcelain cheek.

"But?" Pherein interjected.

"I will be leaving Grantsbend and returning home with my parents."

"What?" the fighter responded aggressively in shock at the announcement causing the woman to recoil.

It has been decided." Lauren averted the now hard look of the proud warrior. "Please know Pherein this has nothing to do with you. It is me…my weakness…I mean…"

"When?" Pherein cut her off.

"The day after tomorrow."

"I see." The warrior put his hands behind his back and did a quarter turn away to look absently out the window.

"Pherein, please, let me explain. My parents have called me home. I have little say in the matter. Truly…if it were up to me, I would stay but I have a duty to my family. Please believe me," she pleaded with him, "it is complicated."

"It doesn't matter. You must do what is best for you," the Delorgan responded, cold as ice. He cursed himself for ever allowing himself into this kind of situation.

"I was hoping we could spend the day together, at least. To continue our conversation?" Lauren asked hopefully, desperate to let the man who meant so much to her understand. "To see perhaps how we might be able to navigate this change?"

"To what end or purpose?" Pherein retorted, hurt, and feeling foolish. "There is no 'navigating' this. You have made your choice." The warrior sighed heavily, resigned to this new development. "It was nice to get to know you. I wish you every joy possible." He turned and walked away.

"Pherein, wait, please!"

But the big Delorgan's mind was set. He would not listen, and the woman did not go after him.

Lauren slumped onto her bed, tears flowing and sobs not far behind, a woman broken and convicted of her own weakness.

Pherein sighed heavily, a mixed cauldron of emotion. Though filled with rage he experienced his own form of heartbreak and wondered anew at the path he was on, now entirely uncertain what it held.

"Ah, Pherein MacDiarmidson!"

The familiar call of his name caused the fighter to stop in his tracks.

Professor Horsewood stood before him. "What a chance meeting! I was just coming to see you. Something else very time sensitive has come up and I was hoping you could help me."

"I am not sure this is the best time right now, professor," Pherein answered. Despite his friendship with the man, and even the fact he figured the academic would understand his feelings, the fighter wanted to be alone. That or he wanted to kill something. The volatile combination made him not particularly good company.

"I can see that you have something heavy on your mind, my friend," Horsewood observed. "Normally I would honor your request but something of the highest importance has come up and I need your help."

Highest importance.

What could be more important than his broken heart right now? He had opened a door, twice it seemed, as he had been reflecting on his relationship with Lily as well as Lauren. Now two times he had lost. A dull pain, like a festering sore, had settled on his heart and he wondered how he would move forward. Horsewood should leave him alone in his pain. Could the man not see this? A rage began to build at the academic who he now saw as pampered and out of touch, just like another. He should throttle the soft teacher and be on his way. Yes, that is what he would do. The angry fighter balled his hand into a fist.

Then he saw the professor's eyes.

There was genuine compassion and concern. There was no pretense or even distraction. The sensitive man knew what Pherein was feeling, he could see the look on his face. He likely knew already what was going on and he was still here with a request. A new thought came into the Delorgan's mind. Maybe the wise man knew what he needed, even more than he did. Then it struck him like a wizard's lightning bolt:

He needed activity.

"Very well. What is it you need me for?" Pherein asked, not out of his funk but happy for the opportunity for distraction.

"There is an artefact that is vital to my research. It was recently discovered and was being sent to me by the university in Remus City. The courier who was bringing it to me was robbed," Horsewood shared.

"How then is this a matter for me?"

"I have heard through sources that it is being held by a gang and is for sale."

"This sounds more like a matter for a magistrate or a king's officers, not for me," the fighter retorted suddenly uninterested. The man was a cyclone of emotions that swirled around and around.

"You don't understand, this gang is in Umgar. By the time the wheels of bureaucracy got around to dealing with this the item will be long gone, sold to a private collector," the professor replied patiently, trying to get the warrior to understand why his plan was the only way.

Pherein had hoped his friend would share something that would distract him from his pain, something that would show him he was not some pawn in a cruel game the gods were playing. He'd even accept that he was being punished for leaving his family and land. Instead, he gets a search for a stolen trinket. "Sounds like a job for a rogue or thief, not for me."

"Are you serious, Pherein? This is Umgar," Horsewood retorted, his passion for this quest starting to spill over, "you cannot just waltz into that land and steal it from a bandit gang. No, it needs to be an armed party and I only trust you to lead it."

I only trust you.

Pherein had not heard those words in years. The last time was when his father had sent him on a mission others thought an older, more seasoned, warrior should lead. But his father had trusted only him. And how did he repay his father? He could see the desperation in the eyes of the man he considered a friend despite the fog of pain he was in. Suddenly it occurred to him he needed this more than Horsewood. "I'll do it," he declared.