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TWENTY THREE

Seriously? You're serious. That's what the top brass is calling it? Really? Oh Allah damn it, they really went off their rocker! F*** it. I'm deserting. Screw you guys, I'm going home.

–Captain Jamal Al-Khazar, Proud citizen of Qurac/Former Bialyan Super Republican Army Special Forces

I had never once embraced the idea of family. I always assumed it too far from the norm for people in my profession, let alone the fact that no guardsmen or women would ever think of laying down with a Commissar without thoughts of vengeance. I also know for a fact that Amberley isn't the type to settle down. She's far too engrossed in her work to ever think of the child, and I'm far too selfish to even consider raising the brat on my own. So, I had dismissed it as mere fantasy.

'You are the bestest at child-care, my mate.' Unfortunately, the orangeskin xenos disagreed with such notions.

'Yeah, who'd have thought a big hero like you would settle down to babysitting.' And the mutant is as delusional as ever. At least his narcissism was corrected.

'She looks so adorable~' And the greenskin was hovering above me.

'Retirement suits you, Ciaphas.' Kaldur, not you too! Don't think I know a verbal backhand when I see one! 'How did you get so good with kids?' I suffered a sigh, wiping a bit of soup off Aila's mouth and chided her for her messy eating, which somehow made her want to giggle.

'The 597th is a mixed regiment.' I replied patiently, eyeing Aila. Her fine motor skills could use some work, she's spilling soup all over the table! 'Most of the time, I have to deal with lover's quarrels, unexpected births, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. I'm sure you see the picture.'

'Ciaphas is wonderfully adept at child-rearing.' Don't encourage them Amberley! She wiped the table and helped to feed Aila, guiding and stabilizing her hands with her own.

'I could say the same for you, Inquisitor.' I lightly jabbed, let's see how you like it.

'I sometimes had to act the part of a noble family's maid, servant, and milk nurse.' She replied easily, though I did spot a subtle glint in her eyes. That could either mean good things for me, or bad. 'You'll find that I am full of surprises.' Ah, bad it is*397. Best get my couch ready.

'Oh, that is just wonderfulness~' Oh no, don't touch me orange skin*398! She had me in the vices she presumingly calls hands. 'We can have Amberley be the act of mistress and milk servant. It would be gratefulness~'

'Owie.' Aila quietly murmured, and I saw the reason why. Amberley was struggling to maintain composure. Her eyes are closed, a thin smile on her face, hands tense*399. Yup, she's going to want to kill the orangeskin right then and there.

'I think you're quite full for today, Aila.' I said, hoping that it'll break up the tension so I could evacuate Aila and let the Inquisitor and Starfire handle their business. I gently plied Amberley's hands off Aila's, and picked her up and moved into the next room. Fortunately, Kaldur removed the Team from the premises too, and just as we shut the door, we heard war cries, sounds of crashing utensils, and possibly a feral cat screaming. Strange, I never noticed one there. Poor animal, it didn't need to see the chaos that'd ensue in that command tent*400. 'Shall we go see the others, Aila? I'm sure you'd like to have friends your age instead of this old man.' She nodded her head, giving me the excuse to drop her off at a playpen.

'Ciaphas.' Yes Kaldur? 'We had feared the worst when we lost track of you.' Ah, I assume he's going to embrace me or something of the like. He seems like the type, but I was refreshingly wrong. 'Please know that we would never abandon you–' Nevermind, I was still right. He is doing this song and dance. That isn't to say that I didn't feel flattered though. 'Miss Martian especially. She didn't give up either and went out everyday with the bioship to try to look for you.' Oh, well. I suppose it would be heartwarming*401…except the fact she's a xenos*402 but, at that point, I probably would have accepted any help. One can't afford to be picky with their rescuers after all*403.

'I tried my best.' Miss Martian suddenly bursts out, catching me off guard. 'But the Orks…they always seem to figure out where the bioship is–'

'Ah, their jetz probably had git finders.' I remarked, unconsciously. When I saw the bewildered looks on all their faces, I had to elaborate lest they lose trust in me. 'Git finders are, well, their version of a scanner. Cloaked vessels, unfortunately, are not immune to it.'

'That's why I had given up using the cloak on the bioship.' Miss Martian sighed. 'But whenever I'm around the Orks, the bioship seems to be going much faster than before.'

'Well, it is red.' I joked, sighing once more when I had to explain. 'The Orks believe the colour red means fast, so when they paint any vehicle red, it would go significantly faster, even though there would be no changes in design or engine or fuel.'

'Wha–? How's that possible?!' Wally protested, and rightfully so. 'That's scientifically impossible.'

'Well, you may as well defenestrate reason and logic.' I retorted. 'Because the Gre–erm, the Orks make no bloody sense but they make it work through their psychic gestalt.'

'Psychic gestalt?' Miss Martian gasped, though I don't know why. 'They have that?' Oh? Right, this greenskin is also a psyker*404.

'From what the Mechanicus tells us, the Orkoid species do have a low-psychic talent. Congregate enough of them, then they will believe anything is possible as much as they put their minds to it.'

'That's not fair.' Wally pouted, which Artemis patted his back. I agreed, but what can you expect from savages?

'Which is besides the point.' I stated, referring to them. 'What about you? All of you? I imagine my disappearance has put some stress on you.' Utter groxshit, but I had to keep appearances.

'It was tough.' Robin admitted. 'We…I assumed the worst after the third day.' He leaned on a nearby wall. 'It's not like I'm a stranger to seeing people die, especially loved ones but…you always seemed to be larger than life. Brave, unflinching, and heroic.' Oh, now he's throwing up the groxshit*405. 'When I saw you rolling up with a convoy of survivors and refugees, I was glad to know I was so wrong.' He smiled at me. 'You're a true hero, you know that?'

'I was merely following orders.' I waved off, getting a groan*406 from, well, let's see here…Wally, Robin, Artemis (though it could also be amusement); Super Boy rolled his eyes, M'gann sighed, and Kaldur just patted my back, an amused chuckle escaping his lips. 'What?'

'Dude, you really got to have more confidence in yourself.' Robin accosted me, both hands on my arms, much to my shock. 'Seriously! You always wave off anything you do as "doing your duty" or "following orders"! You're a damn hero man!'*407

'Hardly.' I scoffed.

'No, dude, seriously.' Wally jumped in, as always. 'You gotta stop putting yourself down like that! Can you not see how many people you just saved?' Well, it was all really unintentional. I just happened to come across them! Really*408!

'As I said–'

'We know. Just following orders.' Artemis drawled, leaning on her compound bow. 'It's your usual excuse.' She snorted, a smile on her face. 'It's almost like you're ashamed of being a hero.' She's off the mark, but maybe I can use this.

'The "Hero" part of my reputation comes from Imperial propaganda after the First Siege of Perlia from the Orks.' I explained. 'My vessel had been destroyed, and Jurgen and I were in a saviour pod when we crash landed on Perlia. We only happened across survivors and slaves like Felicia and her brother, and we were only trying to reach friendly lines.'

'And how many have you saved?' Kaldur asked, and I paused. It was so long ago, so I guessed.

'Maybe…210 people?' I guessed, though I'm still quite unsure*409. 'I don't remember. There were more but we were engaged with the Orks and their Warboss that we have many.'

'You chose to fight?' The Greenskin asked.

'I didn't have room to run away. The greenskins had me cornered.' I admitted. 'I did the best I could.'

'I know you did.' Kaldur said, patting my shoulder. 'The fact that you were able to save so many, and without orders, only proves how heroic you are.' He looked at the two gits. 'Whether he knows it or not.' Before they could make an argument, Aila shouted for me. I regarded her, her little feet running to me, waving. Behind her were others. I couldn't help but smile. She's already making friends.

'I trust you are behaving yourself?' I asked, taking a knee. She giggled, nodded, and gestured for her two friends, Wait, oh no no no–and I'm sitting on my arse, they are jumping on top of me, laughing. I didn't bother to hide it, I laughed as well. It truly was wonderful. Then, I heard ripping canvas. Oh, there's Amberley*410. She collapsed right next to me, and flying down was the orange skin. Starfire was battered, bruised, parts of her clothes (and I am being extraordinarily generous here) were ripped, and smiling. Oh frak, I know that crazed look in her eyes, she wants more! Oh, Emperor's bowels, stop jumping like that or you'll…and she's frakking naked*411! Frak me! AIla, don't you dare look! I regarded Amberley and I'm surprised her synthsuit is still intact, despite the obvious black eye over her left eye*412.

'I am victorious once again!' She cheered, jumping up and down. Unconsciously, I covered Aila's eyes just in case. Don't think I don't see you trying to pry my fingers, young lady! You do not want to see this. Fortunately, Robin used his cape to cover the orangeskin. That's a good lad.

I paid Felicia a visit in the refugee's field kitchen. Apparently, she wanted to get "more intimate" with the old machines, or something of the matter. I'm not sure what she did, but I could smell it and the line-up was extensive. At this rate, she may need to expand the field kitchen and build more from what scrap we could scavenge from the greenskins. I could always have a taste later. I marched parallel to the line, ignoring the looks (probably because of Aila sleeping on my back), and saw the busy kitchen. Felicia was busy with some sort of oven, leaning inside with a wrench in her mechadendrite.

'Hello Magos.' I greeted, trying to instill some sort of impressive rank between her and the Red Crescent workers. 'I trust everything is okay.'

'Hello Cai!' She cheered, turning to face me properly while her mechadendrites worked behind her. 'What brings you here?' Oh no, I know that grin. 'Trying to use your authority to skip the lines?' And risk a bloody riot? No thanks! 'No can do, you have to wait like everyone else.'

'I assure you, it isn't like that.' I replied easily. 'Aila already ate. I just wanted to see how you're coming along.'

'Oh, everything is going well.' She replied. 'The equipment's a little old but with a little modification and some usable scrap from the trukks, the field kitchen is operating smoothly.'

'She is being too modest.' One of those Red Crescent staff overheard. 'We wouldn't have been able to feed all these people with our equipment. Jamal Shamar wanted to buy some more field kitchens, but that won't be necessary now.' She grinned, patting her shoulder. 'She's a real tech wiz.' Oh, was that a blush Felicia?

'I'm glad to hear it.' I replied, genuine in my delight. 'There aren't any other like Felicia.'

'Oh stop it.' She said, slapping my shoulder. 'There are others better than me.' I shot her a grin.

'There are none like you.' I said, repeating the words Zyvan once told me. I felt it appropriate for the given situation. 'On another note, the smell is wonderful.'

'Glad you like soup.' Felicia remarked, opening up a lid. 'To think we are getting so much water flown in!'

'I'd imagine.' I took in the lovely fragrance, the spices were well-balanced. Aila seemed to notice it too, almost drooling on my greatcoat. I sighed, and wiped off the saliva with a handkerchief and closed her mouth. 'How are conditions in camp?'

'Tense.' She answered. 'A lot of people are coming in, a lot of them traumatized by the Ork invasions.' She huffed. 'The food here is just about the only thing keeping morale up. A lot of the time, they are living in tents; queuing up for washrooms; having to make due with a bombed-out building for a temple; and that's not to mention the disputes between religious branches.'

'So, business as usual when dealing with civvies.' I summed up.

'I've been hearing some rumours on the vox.' She leaned in to whisper. 'Military is going to launch a big operation to push the Orks back. They are throwing just about everything flammable.' She snickered. 'And not just the UN. The Bialyans are going to try again.'

'Oh bugger me.' I groaned. 'What are they going to try?'

'Queen Bee had been pressing mutants into her ranks, along with hiring mercenaries to augment her army.' And how does it differ from last time? 'Apparently, she is going to lead the army from the front.' Amazing, an utter idiot in control. 'At least, those are the rumours. It's probably bluster.' For a second, I thought I was going to be disappointed. 'They are calling it Operation Undeniable Victory.'

'...what?' I can't even–what*413? 'I'm sorry, I don't think–'

'Quite serious.' She deadpanned, before snickering.

'Is it at least somewhat better than their first plan?' Why am I even holding out luck for those poor idiots.

'Somewhat better.' She replied. 'But it's wait and see for the time being.'

'Right then.' I think I'm done listening to this. 'If everything is under control, I'll leave you be.' Now, to get away before–

'Oh! You have a free hand.' A Red Crescent staff shouted at me. 'Come and help us peel potatoes.' Oh bollocks, where's Jurgen when I need him*414?!

Damn it all.

I finally escaped my impromptu kitchen duties and back behind a desk. Even better, Jurgen was there to turn people away. It was just like home, so I kicked my feet up, tipped the rim of my cap over my eyes, and took a nap. Or, I would when I heard a blasted racket outside. Whoever was behind that door told me that it must be something urgent. Damn it all. I approached the door and opened it. It was Jurgen holding off Batman. Oh bugger, he's not going to poison me again, is he? No, no, he isn't stupid enough to try again.

'It's alright Jurgen.' I soothingly ordered my ever faithful aide. 'It's alright. Let him in.'

'As the Emperor Wills.' He said, though a bit reluctant. Admittedly, so was I but given Batman's propensity to break-and-entry, I rather he go through the front door rather than from the window. Nonetheless, I led him inside and had him take a seat on some of the most uncomfortable seats Jurgen and I could find…the plastic folding chair.

'How can I help you, Batman?' I started, trying to maintain my facade.

'I need your advice on the Orks.' He stated*415, and I blinked. If it's only that, then he could have used the cogitator to send me a message. Seeing as he's here, I have no choice but to address him directly.

'What is it that you wish to know?' I asked, trying to sound more welcoming than I really felt.

'I had tested Wayne Industries latest fungicide against the enemy.' He began, as if he was briefing me. 'The initial effects were expected, however continued trials showed decreased effectiveness until it became useless.'

'It seems like you already got what you wanted to learn.' I remarked, unsure where he's going. He nodded once.

'I had given up on the fungicide and switched over to napalm.' He stated. 'No, what I really want to know are the Ork Fighters' capabilities.'

'Varying in ability.' I answered. 'Ork Fightas are hand-made by their respective Ork mekboyz, their enginseers. As such, no one Ork Fighta flies the same. It's also compounded by the fact that each Flyboy has a tendency to customize their fightas to fit their fantasy. More firepower, fast accelerations, higher flying. It's largely a toss-up.'

'But they can be beaten.' He said, and I nodded in confirmation.

'Imperial fighters possess heavy armour and can take a few blows before getting shot down.' I explained. 'Unlike Ork Fightas, they don't put so much armour on their craft and one good hit should shoot them down.' He raised an eyebrow.

'Are you telling me the truth or the propaganda number?' He asked, which was fair. I am a political officer.

'It is from my understanding when speaking with the air crew.' I shrugged, though it was a partial falsehood. They've been complaining most of the time when we were playing regicide. That, or trying to figure out if I was cheating. I tell you, I'm not! 'They can be shot down if you are willing to engage them in a dogfight. However, I must advise a wingman when you do so.'

'Right.' He stood up from his seat. 'I suggest you get some sleep and some food. Tomorrow is the day.' He left soon after, leaving me alone in the middle of the room.

Frak me.

I couldn't help but feel apprehensive of the operation. Apparently, United Nations Command are going to launch Operation Minas Tirith in conjunction with the Bialyan Republic Army launching their Operation Undeniable Victory. Unfortunately, the planned night attack was to be delayed until the Bialyans were ready. Ultimately, I took it to mean that it would be a day time assault over open ground. Brilliant. Bloody brilliant. At the very least, they intend to send in military assets as vanguard. Unfortunately, that force includes The Team and more importantly, me. Furthermore, I'm not sure how we are going to manage stealth when they are creating an air armada to drop these 'paratroopers' behind enemy lines and hold onto strategic positions until the rest of the army arrives.

'No.' Aila moaned, breaking me from my thoughts. 'No go.' I sighed, really wishing I had an excuse to stay. Unfortunately, I had a feeling that I won't be allowed. The Justice League are all-hands and my relationship with them would turn sour fast at the slightest hesitation of cowardice. Oh bollocks, she's now burying her head into my clothes. 'No.'

'I'm sorry AIla.' I sighed, patting her back. 'I have to go.'

'No.' Quite determined, the bugger.

'I have been called.' I said, breaking her hold so I can take a look into her wet, brown eyes. 'I must answer.'

'No.' I have a sneaky feeling she only knows how to say "no" and "go." 'Stay.' Nevermind, she does know more words.

'I must.' I stood up, ruffling her hair. 'I'll be back. I promise.' She hugged my legs. I then felt her hands reach for my hands and put something in my palms. I clutched it, opening it to see a little fuzzy creature with long ears*416 attached to a keychain. I put it in my left breast pocket, giving her a smile*417. 'Thank you, Aila.' I picked her up and put her into the hand of one of the Red Crescent members. Oh great, she's crying. I waved her goodbye, heading over to the Justice League tent as fast as I could before she breaks free and clings onto my leg.

When I entered the tent, I got grins from those inside. I didn't make the connection until Robin showed the holographic image of me giving Aila a hug. I groaned, tipping the brim of my hat to cover my eyes. 'If we're done playing around, let us begin.' Batman said, bringing our attention to him. He tapped the table, and the holo image was brought to life. 'As you are all aware, the United Nations are going to send in elements of the 82nd, 101st, 1st Paras, French Foreign Legion, and various special forces in an aerial armada to take and hold key strategic regions such as bridges, mountains, cities, and oil pumps*418. They are required to hold for 48-72 hours before reinforcements arrive to relieve them.' He tapped the table a few times. 'The Justice League are going to be with the main force to assist the UN Forces push inwards. The Team will be responsible with sabotage, reconnaissance, and refugee rescue.' He turns to Wonder Woman, who nodded and took over.

'It is asking a lot from you, and you will be challenged.' She stated, rather solemnly. 'All we ask is to do your best.'You may be forced to kill. Some may be aghast to such measures, and we will not force you. Rely upon the soldiers, to the Commissar, and do not look down upon them. This war is…it will change many things about us, but do not let it change your hearts, your heroism, your morality. That is all I ask.' I could see some on the Team look apprehensive of the concept of killing, meaning more trouble for me. They'd probably throw me at the Orks and leave me to handle the mess. I'm going to need some more human shields.

'When do we leave?' I asked, praying for the best.

'You leave immediately.'

Frak.

I was busy trying to school my features*419, thumbing my palm. Something is going to go wrong, I just know it! It's bound to be! Nonetheless, I took to standing behind the Martian Greenskin, hand on her shoulder. Mainly, it was because she was shivering and if she couldn't maintain her control of the bioship, we'd crash soon and I'd rather not have that while I'm on it.

'Relax.' I said, enthusing as much calm into her as I can manage, more so than what I'm really feeling. 'We are stronger together.' Utter groxshit, but I had to be convincing for M'gann. 'Trust in the Team, and we will trust you. Fly this craft, as it must be done.'

'Right.' She said, letting out a long breath. 'Thank you, Cai.' Oh, this frakking greenskin–Why are people callilng me by the shortened version of my name?! 'Really.' And she's back to demure. 'I'll do my best.'

'Ciaphas.' Yes Kaldur? 'How about a speech?'

'Not necessary.' I replied quickly shooting down the ide. 'The Team has come a long way, and now, I can say that we are ready. I trust you all remember the Santa Prisca operation. We were a mob, undisciplined and directionless. Now look at us. We faced our challenges, our trials, our cowardness, our weakness, and we overcame them. We are united in thought, in purpose. Now, before us, lies the greatest trial we ever faced. The Orks. Barbaric, monstrous, and evil. We had never been found wanting from our duty before, and I know you won't do so now.' I looked at all of them. 'I know you won't fail the world now.' There was a pause, and I felt my point well stated, before I heard snickering from them*420.

'So much for "not necessary".' Artemis scoffed, biting her lips. 'If that wasn't a speech, I'd be scared if I heard a real one.'

'But that wasn't–' Before I could protest, Kid Flash interjected.

'Yeah Cai.' Damn you, mutant! 'That was a good speech though. 7/10.' What?

'Totally 7/10.' Robin added, earning my best ire. 'Lacked creativity.' Excuse me?! I pulled my reason out of frakking thin air, and it is not a speech*421! Oh, forget it. I give up. At least everyone was calm now. Actually, come to think of it, when did we get airborne? Oh frak, we're least I had a chair to sit on. Strange, I counted eleven seats and could have sworn there was no seat here. It must have been Jurgen, always faithful Jurgen. I took a look outside, seeing the airborne armada for myself. The large, four-engined aircraft*422 soared through the skies, high above the clouds. So far, so good. No one had noticed us as of yet.

'I kinda want to pee.' And, that was the mutant and it didn't take a genius to know that everyone was giving him a look. 'What?'

'You should have gone to the washroom beforehand.' I stated. 'Honestly, out of all the times, this is the worst possible one.'

'Yup, big mistake Baywatch.' Artemis added, pausing. 'Is that the reason why you're always late?'

'H-Hey!' He shouted, and I had to grin along with the laughter from the Team. I then spotted a familiar red glow of rokkit fumes. I got on the vox, shouting, 'Rokkits! Evade, evade, evade!' Immediately, the armada began scattering, one of the fighters shooting out flares which redirected the rokkits to strike it instead. I called up UN Command.

'We've been had!' I said into the voxbead. 'Ork Fightas are bound to come after us now and we don't have enough escorts. Permission to withdraw.'

'Negative Condor-9, stay on target.' The Air Traffic Commander said. 'We only got one shot at this. If we fail, then the entire region falls and we'll lose the war!'

'Damn it.' I hissed, pulling my finger off the voxbead for a moment. 'Understood Command. We're staying on target.' I turned to M'gann. 'Are there any weapons on this ship?'

'I-I-I-' Oh great, she's stuttering.

'Deep breaths and answer.' I barked. 'The longer this goes on, the war aircraft we lose and more people will die unnecessarily.'

'Yes! The Bioship can morph weapons.' I nodded, regarding the Orangeskin. I had to suppress a shiver. 'Do you know how to man ventral turrets?' I waved at Jurgen and he got right on it.

'Yup yup!' She cheered, and I have a feeling I'm going to regret it*423. 'On Tamaran, everyone is a warrior and we will are all trained to–'

'Excellent.' I turned to Robin. 'Maintain communications with the rest of the Armada. Tell them to get the troops ready to bail. Even if they are scattered or miss their target, we need live boots on the ground more than accuracy.'

'On it!' I regarded the rest of them. 'Everyone, get ready for a busy night. We're going to be scattered. So do what you do best.' I gave them my best propaganda grin. 'Let's go save people.' I looked out the window, and already, ramps were being lowered. 'Superboy.' He looked at me. 'Will you do us the honours?' His grin told me everything I needed to know and M'gann opened a hole under the craft. He jumped out and I can only imagine how much a facsimile he'd be to an actual drop pod. I was broken from my stupor to the sounds of panic.

'Command! We've engaged the enemy!' I heard over the sounds of battle. 'We're outnumbered! We've already lost Condors-1,-3,-10, and -15. We're losing planes! We have to get out of here!'

'Not before the paratroopers are out!' I barked, interrupting the conversation. 'Paratroopers can regroup and continue on with their objectives. Planes cannot. Hold until they jump off.'

'This is suicide, sir!' The pilot shot back.

'I know, I'm in the air too!' I retorted. 'We're holding out just as much as you are until all the paratroopers are out.'

'Damn you sir!' And the conversation ended, leaving me with a com to command.

'UN Command. Sir. I highly advise you to move up your time table.' I said as urgently as possible, because in hell am I repeating the "March of the Liberator" again. 'Frak the Bialyans. Our troops need you more than them.'

'I hear you Condor-9 but the plan has not changed. They are to hold out until a combined Bialyan and UN force can relieve them.' Frak that. 'Stay on target. Command out.' Frak them.

'Cain!' Robin shouted. 'We're half-way there!'

'Can they hold?' I asked, seeing the burning wreckage of an aircraft tumbling out of the sky.

'Just a few more seconds.' He replied.

'Can we hold?' I regard M'gann, who shook her head. 'We're taking too much damage. We're going to go down.' In hell am I going to die up here!

'Tell them to drop early.' I ordered, before pressing my com. 'All escorts, you are cleared to disengage. You did all you can.'

'Good copy, we're RTB.' The same pilot from earlier said, and I saw his fighter roll away. Now, it was just us and the Ork Dakkafightas and Fighta-bommas.

'Inquisitor, the–' Oh, Amberley was one step ahead*424 and got parachutes. 'Excellent. Everyone, get a parachute and jump out.'

'What?' Artemis shouted.

'No time, just go!' I snapped. 'Superboy is only one man. Get down there and help save our people.' I nodded at M'gann, and she opened a hole. 'Go, go, go!' First to jump was Wally. Next was Amberley, followed by Jurgen, Robin, and Felicia. Kaldur paused, hand on my shoulder.

'I will meet you down. Stay safe.' The craft rocked.

'Just go!' I shouted, pushing him down. 'Starfire!'

'I do not be needing the parachuting.' Terrible grammar, as always. 'I will see you on the field of battle, my mate.'

'Yes sure, whatever.' I finally lost patience and pushed her down. I regarded the greenskin. 'Can you make it look like you got shot down?'

'Yes?' She nodded.

'Good.' I said, but the craft rocked and I fell into the hole, barely hearing M'gann scream my name in horror. All around me, I got a better view of the air war. The big transport crafts were flaming hulks, soaring through the sky to the ground. Ork Fightas zipped through the skies and I could barely hear their raucous laughter before I fell through the clouds, feeling the growing precipitation on my face and clothes before I exited out the other side. Admittedly, the ground wasn't much better, though it could have been just the distance from where I was. I felt my vision blur, blood rushing to my face. Is this it? Is this where my irreputable career comes to an end? I hope not, but I had a good run of it. Then I blacked out just as something hard pressed against my back.

I never anticipated waking up again, but I sure as the warp am glad that I did. Though, I partially believed I was in the Emperor's domain since Amberley was rubbing up against my body, the side of her head resting upon my chest*425. I certainly believed it and I reached my hand up her back to hold her tightly, when the folds of the tent parted and my hand shot back down.

'Morning Ciaphas.' Morning? Already? Oh, and recaf. Wonderful. 'You really scared us back there.' Kaldur chuckled. 'We really have to stop meeting like this. I'd get a heart attack at this rate.' I rolled my eyes, but accepted the mug of recaf.

'What of the invasion force?' I said, after a few longing sips. Admittedly, it was sweeter than my usual cup of Tanna, but it'll do for now. Kaldur shook his head.

'Not good.' Oh bollocks. 'From the casualty count, out of the original 50,000 pressed in, our group only managed to gather 500 or so soldiers.' I blinked.

'We suffered 49,500 casualties?" I couldn't believe it, fortunately, I was glad I was wrong when Kaldur shook his head.

'We're scattered.' He elaborated. 'I don't know the numbers but we count at least 30,000 managed to land.' Alright, better than nothing*426.

'How is the Team holding?' I asked, and Kaldur smiled.

'They'll be happy to know you're alive.' He said. 'We've been busy saving whoever we can. Superboy especially was good for pinning down the Orks until the soldiers could shoot it.' I nodded. 'And what of Robin and Wally?'

'They were busy getting soldiers out of danger and providing distraction.' He smiled. 'They are sticking to their principles. An admirable thing during war.'

'Better than doing nothing.' I forced myself to sit. 'What about M'gann, you, Starfire, and Artemis?'

'Starfire had been busy being the–as Wally puts it–Alien Xena Warrior Princess.' He chuckled, and I forced myself to join in despite having no frakking clue what he means. 'And Artemis seems to be well acquainted in shooking out kneecaps and elbows. M'gann was mainly focused on supporting Connor–' Who the frak is Connor? '-Superboy–' Whoops, probably should have schooled my features. 'As well as protecting the soldiers.'

'Alright, that's good.' I said, leaning forward. 'So, when are we expecting reinforcements?'

'...They aren't going to come.'

'I'm sorry?'

'Operation Undeniable Victory had been declared a military disaster. Queen Bee lost control of her soldiers and Bialyans are deserting en masse*427. The only ones left fighting are her Republic Super Guards, and they only make up a division's worth of men.' Kaldur sighed. 'There is no backup.'

'Well, I'm frakked.

Editorial Note:

Given Ciaphas' frustrating penchant to ignore anything that doesn't involve him personally, I felt it prudent to include an excerpt of the ground battle below. What follows is the consequences of Ciaphas' decision to land the paratroopers early and his decision to deploy us in support of the paratroopers. Admittedly, it contains some behaviour that can only be described as overly obsessive and overexcitement from this soldier over the presence of Connor Kent, alias "Superboy". It is troubling to see a member of the human race fawning over a xenos, but hardly unavoidable given the circumstances that these people do not know the truth of the Xenos.

After Action Report of Operation Minas Tirith, Private George Mallory, October 20th, 2010

It was terrifying. We were told that the Fighters would be sufficient cover because the Orks like to fight. But some idiot in Washington forgot to mention that they also like to use our C-130 transports as a shooting gallery duck! We panicked. We were all shouting at the pilots to turn on the fucking green lights. I lost track of time, but it couldn't have been more than five minutes before the bastards finally listened and turned on the green. The ramps opened up and we were rushing out when the Jumpmaster started throwing us out. It wasn't like the practice runs. Fighters were zipping past us, strafing us, all while our own fighters were dogfighting the Ork bastards. I had to wonder if this was what grandpa witnessed when he was over Normandy.

It was chaos for sure. It smelt of diesel and the bastards were laughing. I could hear their laughter and I wanted to pull out my M9 and take a few potshots at them. But I had to hold discipline for the others. I can't draw attention to myself and bring the Orks down like sharks smelling blood. Oh no, hell no. Can't do it. After a while, we were safe. The Orks were mainly fighting high above the clouds, not so much interested in small fry. When we hit the ground, we were scattered. Hell, I had to wave down some guys over to me so we could get organized. When I did regroup, I was with a Frenchy, a few Brits, some guy with Special Forces, and a few good ole' boys from Arkansas. We were in some abandoned town, and it could hold a few of us at a time, so I figured that we could use this place as a base. I couldn't help but think, "wow, we really must have been scattered" but hell, at least we're alive, and we can fight.

Suddenly, and everyone was screaming and it wasn't just me, an Ork got me by the collar and was ready to chop me with his gnarly axe when I was saved! It was Superman! Sorta. Like, picture a Superman but he was shorter, looked younger, wearing a T-shirt that my kids have, and more stompy. Superkid? Super boy? Little Super? Something like that, but boy was I glad he saved me. Superboy just stomped on the Ork and he saved me and all he said was so awesome.

"Are you okay?"

Fuck yeah, now that's a hero! I nodded and told him we're all scattered and he better run. We can hold the fort down here and we were building up sandbags and whatnot. Putting machine guns on roof tops and soon enough, we got more guys coming towards us. All because of Superboy jumping and Super Mario-ing Orks left and right and pointing guys towards our little town. I mean, sure, we got Orks rushing us but our machine guns really did the trick in a pinch and we kept on blasting them. Some of them grabbed hold of us. You know, the big ugly ones and can effortlessly force us up, we fed it our barrels. But thanks to Superboy and his Team, we got even more guys over. Thank God for Superboy. He's awesome. I mean, Robin and Kid Flash was cool, running around, distracting Orks and making it easier to shoot 'em, but Super Boy was the real hero here. Jumping and stomping on Orks. Even saw this girl dressed in a purple bikini or something, shooting some green fire or something and killing Orks that way. She's okay, but really weird. I mean, English isn't her first language, it was obvious but…she's creepy man. Like, super creepy and really exciting with fighting or something.

Speaking of creepy, there's the one Superboy's team called "The Inquisitor". Like, she fights like Robin, but really sultry and really willing to use guns at point-blank range*428. Very scary. And then there's Magos and she got a fucking robot horse and she's trampling over Orks with its hooves. Seriously, why can't we have those?

Whatever, here's my report. Superboy's cool and a great asset to our forces and we wouldn't have been saved without him.

General Eiling read the report and started ripping it up*429.

—FOOTNOTES—

397. He knows me all too well~

398. Frakking Orangeskin. I'll kill her yet.

399. Oh please, she's exaggerating. I did not even squeeze at full strength.

400. There was a cat? I never noticed. I was too busy ripping the Orangeskin apart!

401. Oh?

402. Yes, that's what I thought.

403. Except when the rescuers are Dark Eldar, Orks, Tau, the Ruinous Powers, Tyranids, the Eldar, Harlequins…Need I list more?

404. How the frak did you forget that?

405. He actually wasn't. He genuinely felt that way of Ciaphas Cain.

406. At least everyone here agrees with me. Dear Ciaphas can be incredibly dense.

407. THANK YOU!

408. Oh, I'm sure you did.

409. Thereabouts.

410. Don't you 'Oh Amberley' me! And that Xenos just got lucky! That frakking table shouldn't have even belonged there anyways!

411. Oh frak, I missed one. Oh, forget it. I give up.

412. Not a black eye.

413. I thought much the same when I heard it too.

414. Jurgen was with me, tending to my wounds…something you should have done, Ciaphas!

415. Admittedly, he asked me the same thing. I suppose he wanted to confirm with Ciaphas. Foolish, but it is what it is.

416. That's a rabbit

417. It really was adorable, something right out of the Propaganda films.

418. I believe they are trying to make enough of a ruckus for the Orks to rush over to where the fighting is so they can crush the greenskins between two forces. I had warned them from underestimating the Orks, but I suppose they were hoping that the Ork's nature would be enough.

419. Somewhat successfully. Only I really noticed your unease.

420. Oh, I agree. It was very laughable.

421. Yes it is.

422. I believe they are called C-130 Hercules

423. As did I.

424. As always.

425. It was not suggestive in any way. He always liked to embrace something over his chest, as well as hold a laspistol under his pillow.

426. You say better than nothing, I say more than expected.

427. That tends to happen if your Commanders are incompetent and do not have a Commissar to keep them in line.

428. Utter lies.

429. Rightfully so.