I stop in my tracks and slouch over to place my hands on my knees in exhaustion. My lungs are burning with every breath, and my arms and legs feel like jelly. I can feel a drop of sweat run down my nose and fall to the concrete beneath me.
"Come on, Santana. You gotta keep going."
I can't even find the energy to bite back a remark to him. I stand up straighter and place my hands on my hips, still trying to regain my breath.
"Can we just call it a day?" I ask in between gulps of air.
Mike shakes his head with an apologetic frown. "Sorry, but we have to train you before you go back out in the real world. This is what we have to do."
I know I have to train and learn to control my so-called powers, but I don't understand what running around a track has to do with it.
"You got it," Quinn walks up behind me and gives me a pat on the back. She grimaces when she feels the wetness on her hand from touching my shirt. She shakes it off and wipes it down her pants. "What else do we have planned for today?"
"Well, today I just planned to see what she was actually capable of. Tomorrow or the next day is when we'll hone in on the skills."
I'm only half listening to their conversation, mainly thinking about when I can take a cold shower and go to sleep.
"Sounds good. How much more does she have to do?"
"I got all I need for the endurance and stamina," Mike writes something down on the clipboard in his hands. "And she doesn't seem to have any enhanced abilities in that field." He chuckles.
"Hey, wait, so this was all a test? If you were wondering what I could do, I thought we already figured that out." I narrow my eyes at him.
Mike smiles and turns to start walking away, Quinn and I following.
"Well, we've found one of your abilities. For all we know, you could have many more that you haven't discovered yet," He stops next to a pullup bar and bench press.
I roll my eyes, already knowing I'm going to have to use the equipment.
"Now, it could be the case that you just have one ability…but in my time here, no one usually has just one." He motions to the pullup bar.
I move to stand underneath it and wait for instructions. Ugh, I've never been good at weight exercises, or anything requiring upper body strength at all.
"This is simple…just do as many as you can in a row without stopping until you feel you can't go anymore," He folds his hands together, securing his clipboard tight against his torso. "And don't worry about counting, Quinn and I can do that. You just focus on getting as many reps as you can."
I nod my head in understanding and shake out my arms, preparing to do the exercise. I look at Mike and then up at the pullup bar. He gives me a small smile of encouragement before I jump up and grab the bar.
I tighten my biceps and core to bring my body up and tuck my chin over the bar.
One.
I relax my muscles and bring myself back down to starting position before doing another rep.
Two.
Weird…these are a lot easier than they used to be. Maybe I've just gotten stronger having to lift all the trays of food when I'm waiting at the country club.
Before I know it, I've already done 10 reps and can't even feel the burn in my arms yet.
"Santana, go a little faster," I hear Mike say as he starts writing down on his clipboard again.
Obeying, I start pumping my arms up and down faster, successfully doing another after another.
"Alright, you can stop."
I let go of the bar and land on my feet with a proud smile on my face. I really just did that! I couldn't even do 10 in high school, but look at me now!
"Are you tired at all?" Mike asks with furrowed brows, still looking at his clipboard.
"No, not really. I mean I'm a little out of breath from running still, and I was going really fast there so I'm a little breathless." I shrug my shoulders and walk over to them.
"But your arms aren't tired or anything?"
I shake my head. "No…I mean I can tell that I just worked out but they're fine. I could actually keep going."
I look over to Quinn with an eyebrow raised to see she already has a smirk on her face. Looking back over to Mike, who clicks his pen and slides it on the front of the clipboard, I notice he now has a small smile on his face too.
"What, why're you looking at me like that?" I look between the both of them.
"By the looks of it, you seem to have some form of superstrength," Mike says with a chuckle.
No fucking way.
/
"Wait, what do you mean superstrength? Like the fucking Hulk type shit?" I call out as I follow behind Mike, who's walking back towards the door on the opposite side of the roof.
"Well, obviously not like that, Santana; it's more like an enhanced ability." Even though his back is turned to me, I can still tell he rolled his eyes.
"Yea, but to what extent? Like can I pick up cars and stuff and throw them?" I was curious as to how far I could go with this "new ability," but I couldn't help but think of how cool it would be if I could actually launch things in the air like that.
Mike puts his hand on the scanner, unlocks the door, and heads inside.
"I doubt you could throw a car, you don't have that type of build that's needed for extreme strength like that, but you definitely are stronger than the average person your size."
So what exactly is the purpose of having this ability if I can't fucking throw cars? Not that I'd do it anyways, but it'd be cool to know that I at least could if I wanted to.
"You're thinking about it too much," Quinn whispers to me. "Just accept what you were given and find a way to make good use of it." She shrugs her shoulders.
I can't help but pout a little at realizing she's right. It's amazing that I have an enhanced ability at all, even though I didn't necessarily want it. Besides, what I need to focus on now is making sure I gain control of them so I can go back home.
I haven't thought of what I'm going to say to my friends when I get back though; for all they know I've been in danger this whole time. I'm definitely going to need a good excuse for when I get back though, since apparently I can't tell anyone what's really going on.
When we arrive at the main floor of the building, I look up at the clock on the wall and see that it's 4:19.
"I have some things to finish up in my office before I head out, but you're done for the day. Get some rest for tomorrow, okay?" Mike says as he turns to me.
I nod my head and watch him walk down the hall.
"Let's see…do I listen to him, or just do whatever I want?" I ponder aloud. "I mean usually I just ignore when someone tells me to do something anyways," I turn to Quinn who's looking at me with an eyebrow raised.
"Clearly…you probably wouldn't be in this situation right now if you'd have just listened to him in the first place."
I roll my eyes as she brings up the memory. So what? I've never listened to people before; it's something one could consider a flaw, but it doesn't bother me.
"Look, you do need to get rest. You thought today was hard? Well, tomorrow's going to be on a different level." She brushes past me and heads for the staircase leading down to the living quarters.
"Why? What're we doing tomorrow?"
I don't get a response from her, and it honestly pisses me off a little. She obviously knows, and she knows how "tough" it's going to be, so why can't she just give me a heads-up?
"Quinn," I call out again and speed up my steps to catch up with her. When I get level with her, I grab her shoulder, stopping both of us in our tracks. "I know you heard me."
"Yea, but it doesn't mean I'm gonna tell you," She gives me a smirk before turning back around and continuing her trek downstairs.
/
"Okay, Santana. You seem to have the physical qualifications to go through with the proper training, but today we're testing something much more important…your mental strength." Mike says as he walks through the roof entrance with the same clipboard in hand.
"My mental strength?" I ask with my hands on my hips. It's way too early to be putting up with any bullshit right now. "What does that even mean?"
"It means your mind is out of whack," Quinn lays a hand on my shoulder and looks at me with a faux sympathetic look.
Mike chuckles. "Not exactly. It just means you don't have the best control over your mind, causing it to overpower you sometimes."
I scrunch my brows in confusion…I'm still not following.
"Let's see how else I can word this," Mike sighs. "You notice how your powers really only come out when you get angry or emotional?" I nod my head. "That's your mind getting the better of you. You don't have the best control over it, but it controls you. You get it?"
"I think so," I slowly nod my head. "But how do you plan to strengthen my mind?"
"You'll see," Mike says a little somberly, which worries me a bit. At least I know he's not doing any physical harm to me, similar to yesterday. "Sit down right here," He points to the ground where a small red X is taped to the floor.
I obey his instructions and sit down a little ungracefully due to the soreness in my legs from yesterday.
"Okay, now cross your legs," He instructs as he walks in front of me. I raise an eyebrow but cross my legs anyways. "Now, touch your thumb to your middle finger and rest both wrists on your knees."
"So you want me to sit like one of those meditating, spiritual type people?" He gives me a sheepish smile and nods his head. "You could've just told me that."
"What does it matter? You're sitting in the right position now anyways," Quinn says as she walks into my line of sight with her arms crossed in front of her.
"I don't remember inviting you into our conversation, Fabray. Last time I checked this was my training and Mike's the one in charge."
She just rolls her eyes and sits down on a bench behind Mike.
"Alright, you can retract the claws now. I want you to be calm when we start this," Mike says firmly.
"Fine," I mutter under my breath with an annoyed huff. It was Quinn's fault anyways, she's the one that came over here with the attitude.
"Close your eyes," Mike says as he bends down to be at eye level with me.
I tilt my head to the side and lean back a little, narrowing my eyes at him. "Why?"
"Because it's necessary for this exercise," I look at him, still skeptical. "Come on, you trust me right?"
"Oh I trust you fine, I just don't trust the situation."
He takes a deep breath and releases it before looking back at me. "It's the best way to connect with your mind and emotions, so you have to close your eyes. You see how Kurt does his mindfulness exercises…he closes his eyes to get the most out of it."
That is true, Kurt does close his eyes when he's doing his weird mental connection thing. And those meditating people always do it, too.
With an annoyed sigh, I reluctantly close my eyes.
"Good…now keep them closed." I can hear him get up for a moment before squatting back down in front of me. Out of the blue, I feel cool sticky things being attached to my temples. "Don't worry, these are just so we can record your brain waves through all the different scenarios."
"Uh, scenarios?" What exactly is he planning to do?
"You'll see."
God, I am so tired of hearing those two words! Can no one tell anyone anything around here? All the damn suspense is gonna kill someone one day, and it's probably going to be me!
"Did you bring it?" Mike asks as he stands up again. I can hear his footsteps getting quieter as he walks away.
"Right here," I hear Quinn reply. Not being able to see what they're doing is aggravating the shit out of me.
It's silent for another moment before I hear a humming noise.
"Uh, guys? What's that noise?"
"Nothing, it's just a small shield being activated in case you lose control again."
"Which wouldn't be surprising," Quinn remarks.
Guess she's not too happy about having to wake up at the ass crack of dawn too. At least, that's the only thing I can think of to explain her bitchy mood.
"Aww, is someone grumpy?" I tease in a fake baby voice. I can hear shuffling from somewhere in front of me, like she was trying to lunge forward.
"Calm down…both of you," Mike said sternly.
"Hey, I didn't do anything…Queen Bitch is the one over there with the attitude."
"You want me to show you attitude? Because I'm this close to-"
"Enough…Quinn, I need you to get your behavior back in check so we can do this properly. If you keep riling her up, we're going to have to postpone, which is the last thing I want to do."
"Whatever," She huffs. I smile a little in victory.
"Thank you," He takes a deep breath. "Moving on…Santana, I want you to take 3 deep breaths for me; relax yourself as much as possible and try to clear everything from your mind."
"Okay, you do realize that when you just said to clear everything from my mind, a bunch of thoughts just raced through my head, right?"
I could practically hear him roll his eyes in annoyance. "Just try to get as empty-headed as possible, please."
I notice he seems to be getting at his whits end here, and he really does have good intentions with trying to help me, so I listen to him and take 3 deep breaths. I focus on each breath and the rise and fall of my chest…in, out, in, out.
"Good…now the things I tell you, I really want you to think about. Try to imagine them as vividly as possible and really connect with your true feelings that come up with them, as well as try to remain calm throughout all of it."
Staying calm was never one of my strong suits, so I guess that's why this has to be part of my training before I can leave. I lose my temper extremely quickly, but it's been something I've been trying to work on in the past.
Just remember to focus on your breaths, Santana. In and out, in and out.
"We're gonna start off a little easily…you ready?" I nod my head, preparing myself for whatever he could bring up. I don't know if the room went extremely quiet or if I'm just relaxed, but it feels like the space around me is almost empty.
"First one…think of our Friday friend nights."
Okay, this is super easy. I love Friday nights when I get to hang out with my closest friends; my favorite people in the whole world. They've really become my family, and we've definitely come a long way since high school. It's amazing to me how we're still this close even years after graduation. I felt a small smile graze my lips thinking about my friends and all our memories together.
"Stepping it up…Blaine crashes the dinner, knowing how it'll affect Kurt."
I could feel my heart start racing a little faster at the visual that pops into my mind. Blaine's one of those…what do you call them? Oh yea, a two-timing loser. I can't count the times he's cheated on Kurt with random hookups, and then tries to manipulate Kurt into thinking he was the one in the wrong! Just the thought of the gelhead makes my blood boil. And what's worse is that Kurt keeps going back to him!
"Santana, remember to breathe," I hear Mike remind me.
Right, I have to stay calm. Deep breaths, in and out. After a few moments, I feel calmer and not as tensed as I was minutes prior.
"Alright…think of Quinn and how you met."
Why did he go from something that makes me angry to a semi-enjoyable memory? I wouldn't ever admit it to her face, but Quinn's the only reason I'm still working at the country club. Without her there, it wouldn't even be bearable. But at the same time, I couldn't leave her there alone either. I mean, obviously, I know she can handle herself - especially since she has fucking superpowers - but we're kinda like a duo there, looking out for the other…supporting each other.
Even though she's been a complete bitch to me today, the thought of her still manages to calm me down. It's better than thinking about the bowtied freak.
"Still doing good?" Mike asks, interrupting me from my thoughts. I nod my head, still focusing on my breathing and keeping my eyes closed. "Good…now I want you to think of the accident, but only the accident."
You'd think that when I thought of the traumatic experience, I'd feel more panicked; but I'm actually really calm about it. It probably has something to do with the fact that when I think of that day, the first thing that comes to mind is meeting Brittany for the first time. I remember the outfit she was wearing that day, how soft her hair looked, and I even remember the flower I was going to pick and give to her. That day may have ended horribly in the present time, but I wouldn't change it for a thing. That day led to our friendship now, which is worth every ounce of pain or trauma I had to go through to get there.
"Why is she so calm here? You'd think dredging up the probable worst day of her life would cause some type of spark to go off," I could hear Quinn not-so-subtly whisper to Mike.
"Not sure…maybe she's just able to control her emotions better than we thought," I could hear the skepticism in Mike's voice. It doesn't bother me in the least, though. They just don't know the door that that day opened up for me.
"Okay, taking it up a notch…I want you to now think of your experience with Rory."
Well, way to take my Brittany-centered trance and completely wreck it. One minute I was thinking of the gorgeous blonde and the next thing I know fucking Lucky the Lephracaun is sitting in her place. God, if I ever get my hands on him again…
I know he's powerful and everything, and he has his team of twinks, but you don't ever wanna mess with Santana Lopez when I'm angry and on a mission. I can already visualize how the fights gonna go. He'll get all airhead red again, thinking he's intimidating, when really I'll just smack him so hard - with something metal, duh - the color will drain from his face, turning him ghostly white again.
I can feel my fingers start to tingle and my head get a little lightheaded. The thought of him really pisses me off, and I can definitely feel it taking over, but I can't seem to care. All I want to do is show him the kind of pain he caused in my life, as well as Quinn's. He didn't physically harm me, but he put me in harm's way, and put everyone close to me through torture since he decided it was within his right to kidnap me. He took Quinn when she was just a little girl and manipulated her into being some type of soldier. He stripped her childhood away from her and put her through things no child should have to go through.
"Santana…deep breaths, okay?" I can hear Mike remind me again. I mentally roll my eyes, since it doesn't really have an effect if my eyes are closed, and listen to him.
Getting worked up about Rory doesn't do me any good right now…that'll come later. Right now I need to focus on passing this training and keeping control so I can go home.
"Alright, I need you to be completely calm for this last one…" I notice he sounds a little scared or hesitant as he says it.
"Why?"
"Just…I need you to do a complete reset. No thoughts, no feelings, just go back to square one." I squint my eyebrows in suspicion, but nonetheless do what I was told.
I take a couple of moments to focus in on my breaths again, and this time I count down slowly from 10 in time with my breathing to have more of a calming effect.
"Ready?" I nod my head, still focusing on keeping my body completely relaxed. "Okay…" I hear him let out a sigh but I try not to let it worry me. "I want you to remember that this is necessary, and I have no other choice than this one to test your limits. It's not personal, and you have no idea how much I don't want to put you through this."
Panic starts to set in just a little bit, but I push it away as hard as I can. What's the worst he could throw at me? He's already gone through the worst of things he could give me…I think.
"Get back," I hear him whisper to Quinn, followed by a few footsteps as I hear her walk a few steps further. "Santana…" He starts. He doesn't say anything for a few moments.
"Think of your parents," He says lowly. "And everything you've gone through with them."
Oh hell no. I know he did not just bring them into this. How could that be fair? There's nothing more in the entire world that could piss me off more than the thought of them could. I don't even care that I'm supposed to be controlling my mind and emotions right now. How dare he bring them up? How dare he remind me of all the things they've done, that they've put their daughter through. Well, if you want to be technical about it, I'm apparently not their daughter anymore so it shouldn't matter.
Mike knows how sensitive this makes me…he knows how much damage those two people inflicted on my life. The things they did, the things they said…can never be forgiven.
I can feel anger, betrayal, and many more emotions just flood through my body all at once. My arms and fingers have that tingly-asleep feeling, and my legs feel like they're not even there anymore. The more I think about it, the more furious I get. My mind flashes back to the letter I got the day that I came home from the hospital.
Why did she send it? What was she trying to accomplish? Was she trying to tear me apart more than she already has?
As the thoughts keep whirring around in my head, I feel a slight breeze underneath my legs and ass. That's really weird considering I was sitting on the concrete.
Thinking about my previous stance reminds me of the person who brought all this back to mind…Mike. He knew how this affects me, and there's no excuse he could make as to why he brought it up. You'd think being best friends with someone for 12 years would mean that they would know what buttons to push and which ones to avoid. You'd think they'd know what topics are sensitive and are never to be brought up again. But the worse part of all is that he knows everything that happened…he was there for it. He was there during the worst of it and was supposedly on my side. But there's no way he truly is if he could bring it up this easy, and for what? For training? There are a million other things he could've brought up to piss me off…I have a short temper, remember? So why did he choose to make me think about this?
And Quinn…she doesn't know about all the shit that happened. I usually try to keep all the business with my parents under wraps, never telling a soul about it and trying to block it from my memory. But he just pretty much outed it to her, and now she's probably curious as to what happened, which I'll have to relive whether I decide to tell her or not. The memory's already brought back to the forefront of my mind.
At that moment I decide to open my eyes and look at the person I thought was my best friend, that would never inflict any type of pain on me. I open my eyes to see Quinn and Mike standing behind some type of glass-looking shield surrounding them. Quinn's standing behind Mike, eyes wide and staring at me, and Mike's standing in front with his arm in front of her and looking at me with fear - and determination - in his eyes.
I can feel the wind whooshing through my bangs and can feel the breeze on my face. I don't remember it being this windy when we first started, though. Although I never break my stare with Mike, I look in my peripheral vision to see the concrete of the roof below my legs, along with the door, Mike, and Quinn. Am I…in the air?
I would normally take the time to think about how cool this all is if I wasn't so hurt and hellbent on being furious at Mike.
"Santana," He starts.
"Don't," I interrupt him. "What's the fucking matter with you? You think you have a right to bring it up just because you were there for it? Because I considered you my best friend?"
He brings his hand down from in front of Quinn and stands up straighter, looking down in shame.
"You betrayed me worse than I thought you ever would. I thought you understood how much this affected me. How much it hurt me. Do you not remember all the hell I was put through?!" I lower myself back on the ground, landing on my feet. I snatch the sticky things off my temples and throw them to the side.
"Santana, you gotta calm down. Remember to-"
"I wasn't talking to you, Fabray!" I yell as I walk closer to where they're standing, still shielded by the protective cover.
"Santana, seriously," She steps forward. "Calm. Down."
"How many times do I have to tell you that you're not the boss of me? You don't get a say in what I do or don't do."
"Santana, you're eyes are glowing," She inputs.
"Do I look like I fucking care?" I turn to Mike. "Take one last look, Mike. Really look at me. I want you to remember what I look like right now, because it's the last time you'll ever get the chance."
"Okay, don't be rash," Quinn interrupts yet again.
"I wasn't talking to you, Fabray! God, do either of you listen?! Or care?!" I throw my arms up in defeat, which causes the building to rattle a little bit. Guess it's made of metal…
"You know what? Forget it, it doesn't matter…I'm leaving anyways." I huff as I turn to walk towards the metal door leading inside the building.
"Santana, you can't," I hear Quinn call out, but I'm already halfway there. "How are you even gonna get in? Your handprint isn't registered!" She says with a small laugh, thinking she found a way to stop me.
With a small smirk, I raise my hand and wave it to the left, effectively slamming the door open. I hear the crackle of electricity from the controls, probably broken, but it doesn't stop my trek on the way out.
I don't turn back around to see the looks on their faces…which I'm sure are hilarious. Instead, I continue my walk to my room, determined to get out of here before anyone can try to stop me.
Hey, guys! I know, I know, I'm late on this update too. My schedule changed after school ended and now differs on a weekly basis depending on work. I'm still going to try to get updates up every week, but forgive me if I'm late sometimes!
We had a little drama in this chapter, which won't cease in chapters to come, but this is the first major breakthrough we've had in the story! Yay!
As always, reviews are appreciated and I absolutely love reading what you guys have to say about the story so far! :)
Oh! Also, I started a Tumblr account with the same username I use here, denelle-lee, for updates on the story as well.
I also uploaded this story to Archive of Our Own under the same username if you like reading there better! :)