Barbara listens half-heartedly as the meeting drones on. Spy movies really put too much glamor on the concept of secret societies. An organization is still an organization whether it is made up of middle aged salary men or centuries old shapeshifters. And unfortunately that means that they have to deal with things like supplies and delegation of manpower and paperwork. The major difference in is that if she allows herself to stop paying attention the backstabbing will be much more literal.
"What is your opinion, Dr. Lake?"
Barbara raises her eyes from the point in space she'd been watching to meet the gaze of her ex-boyfriend. Walt –Or she supposes she ought to call him Walter now: Strickler or Stricklander don't feel right and she can't say Waltolomew and keep a straight face.- Walter is giving her a rather smug eyebrow raise like he thinks she won't be able to answer. He has been rather testy ever since she took over his position.
"I think that we need to focus more on laying our communications groundwork," Barbara says after making a show of thinking about it. "We all know that Gunmar will not want to be kept waiting when he comes to the surface and we can't have nuclear bombs being shot at us, so the normal modes of communication will have to be the first thing we hit. We've started relying a little too much on human means for our own infrastructure in the past centuries."
She says "we" as if she herself is centuries old and not human. It's almost laughable how sometimes she still feels like a sheep supping with wolves despite how much she's changed.
Some of the assembled changelings nod at her point, some just watch silently. The secretary takes notes.
The rest of the meeting proceeds in much the same way. There's always a feeling of walking a knife edge at meetings. Barbara may be the mouthpiece of Morgana, who is a god to the changelings, but if she can't prove her strength and cunning on her own, she won't last long.
When the meeting finally wraps up the changelings depart out of the room from the lowest ranking to the highest. Walter and Barbara hold eye contact for a long moment. She sees just the faintest glow of yellow in his eyes and allows a glint of volatile blue to flicker in her own in response.
He tenses and looks away, chin tilting up ever so slightly despite the clear resentment that is evident in the curl of his lips.
She watches silently as he leaves. The door closes and she lets out a breath and her shoulders slump. She isn't quite done yet -she still has to report back to Morgana- but she just wants a moment to breathe.
Her head aches from keeping up with the constant scheming and swirling agendas that are present at any Janus Order meeting. That and…
And she still misses her relationship with Walt. They'd already been strained after she found out the truth about changelings but once she had taken over his position they'd truly split. She knew as well as he did that if their positions had been flipped he'd have done the same, but it didn't make it less cruel for him.
And it didn't make his bitter resentment and verbal stabs any less painful for her.
She misses having someone to talk to and just be herself around. A memory of the odd meeting in the rain flickers through her mind.
"Everyone needs friends…"
That is what she had told the Trollhunter then.
Perhaps she should take her own advice.
Barbara sits in her car in the driveway for a whole hour before she works up the courage to walk up to the front door. This house was once as familiar as her own but now it's been years since she last visited. Knocking takes her another ten minutes.
There's a series of soft thumps and the door opens. The elderly lady stares at her before adjusting her glasses as if she can't quite believe what she's seeing. The light of the late evening sun glints off the thick round lenses.
"Barbara?" She says finally.
"Hi Nancy," Barbara responds.
Her lips twitch into an uncomfortable smile as she tries to remember how to deal with normal social niceties. Nancy beams back in response.
"I can't believe it's you! What brings you back to Arcadia after all this time?"
Barbara doesn't tell her that she technically still lives here. No one, or at least no one from her old life, knows. It's easier that way.
"I'm just going to be in the neighborhood for a while and thought that I'd visit… You aren't busy are you?"
Nancy steps out of the doorway gesturing with a hand to invite her inside.
"Of course not! Come in. Come in! I just finished a fresh batch of cookies."
"Thank you."
Barbara enters and finds that her old neighbors place hasn't changed much in the time she's been gone.
The two of them settle down in the comfy couches in the living room. The elderly lady pours a cup of tea for each of them and sets a plate of cookies out on the table.
"So how is Toby?" Barbara asks. "He's in high school now right?"
Jim would have been in high school. He'd be fifteen now…
Like the Trollhunter.
A flash of blue eyes set in a slighter darker blue face flash through her mind. Her heart aches.
"He's doing well," Nancy says, interrupting her thoughts. "But he's always been a bit quiet since…"
She doesn't have to clarify. Jim's kidnapping hit him hard too. There's a moment of silence before she straightens up and goes on.
"He has Darci and they stick together. It sounds like now that they're in high school she's been able to introduce him to some more of her friends. She's really such a dear."
"Darci?" Barbara asks. She swirls her tea around in the mug and breaths in the smell. Like everything else it's familiar. She sets it back down without drinking.
"Darci Scott. The Scotts were the family that moved in next door after you left. Her father is one of the police."
Ah, Detective Scott then. The Janus Order monitors the police force within Arcadia carefully. They have agents in key areas to make sure that no one ever looks too closely where they shouldn't.
"I see…" Barbara says and isn't quite sure what else to say.
Nancy sets down her mug and fixes her in a gaze that is slightly too sharp for a woman with cataracts like hers.
"Enough about me, you didn't just come to catch up, did you? What did you want to talk about?"
If Barbara hadn't spent so much time learning to cover up her emotions she would have tensed.
"Why would you say that?" She asks instead.
She doesn't like it when people are able to read her. She's usually very careful to only show the emotions she wants them to see. She wonders what she let slip.
Nancy smiles disarmingly.
"I happened to be looking outside when you pulled up, people who are okay don't spend an hour sitting in their car in someone else's driveway."
Barbara does actually blush a little at that. Her hand drifts up to toy with the yellow pendent around her neck.
A weight comes to rest on her leg and Barbara's hand clenches around the crystal. She looks up to see that it's Nancy's hand. The woman is staring at her with concern.
"Sorry," Barbara says, before mentally wincing at the apology.
"Take your time dear," Nancy says. "You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to."
Barbara opens her mouth to say something –A denial, maybe?- and then closes it.
She's become a little too used to hiding her emotions and vulnerabilities from everyone. In truth, she wants to talk about the strange young troll who, despite being her enemy, she finds herself suddenly worried about, but even the little bit of openness she's shown has already put her on edge.
She's so wrapped up in a web of secrecy and magic that she can hardly even remember what it was like to be a free woman living a normal mundane life.
Barbara sighs.
"Can we just talk for now?" The words come out almost pleading.
"Of course," Nancy says.
There's pity in her gaze that makes Barbara's jaw clench but she accepts it and tries to let go of her need to be seen as invincible.
"How is high school been for Toby so far?" She offers the question like an olive branch.
"Oh it's going quite well," Nancy says, leaning back into her chair. "One of Darci's friends, Claire, got Toby to try out for the play the school is putting on…"
Barbara finds herself relaxing minutely as Nancy rambles on telling her about things that seem to be happening a world away.
Eventually the light outside begins to take on an orange tint and Barbara forces herself to her feet with a sigh.
"It's been nice, Nancy, but I really must be going," She says.
"Oh! Well it's been a pleasure having you over, dear."
"Thank-you." Barbara slings her bag over her shoulder and hesitates. "Would you mind if I visited again?"
"Of Course!" Nancy smiles. "You're always welcome here."
Barbara smiles back at her. She's forced to take a careful breath to fight back the prickling she feels in her eyes.
Thank-you," She says again, before slipping out into the darkening world.
Author Note:
Not the most exciting chapter perhaps but necessary. Like Jim, Barbara was able to find some strength for change from their meeting.