A little over an hour later all six teens had drunk too much champagne, although James and Sirius weren't as far gone as the rest of them. They were sitting on the floor, more or less in a circle. Remus had an arm around Madison, and Lily was sitting in James' lap. Serena was sitting next to her, and she and Lily were sharing yet another bottle of champagne. They had started off playing truth or dare, but as everyone kept asking each other truths, it had settled into a hybrid between truth or dare and never-have-I-ever. "Never have I ever done it…on a train," Madison said.
Serena and Sirius both drank. "In a foreign country," Lily said.
Serena and Madison drank. "In a bathroom at a stranger's house," Remus said.
Sirius and Serena both drank, then looked at each other in surprise. "I feel like these were separate encounters," Madison said in a loud whisper.
Serena glared at her friend. "In one of the greenhouses," Remus said, grinning at James and Sirius.
James, Sirius, Serena, and Remus all drank. "On the beach," James said.
Madison and Serena drank. Sirius frowned. He didn't like hearing about these encounters that he knew Serena must have had with Henri. "On Professor McGonagall's desk," Lily said, her eyes glinting with mischief.
Serena and Sirius drank. "McGonagall's desk?" Madison repeated.
"Nice," James congratulated his friend.
"In a pool," Serena said with a pointed grin.
Lily and James drank, causing Serena and Madison to start giggling hysterically. "In the back room at Honeydukes," James said, giving Remus an evil grin.
Remus glared at him, and he and Madison took a drink. "What?!" Serena exclaimed.
"You know about the passageway?" Lily asked Madison.
"Wow, Moony," Sirius said, looking impressed.
"Wait, how do you know about that tunnel?" James asked Lily.
She smiled innocently at him. "Sirius showed me one night."
Serena laughed at what Lily was insinuating, and James shot Sirius a look. "We went for a drink a few days before Christmas," Sirius said, answering his friend's unspoken question.
"That's where we saw McGonagall on her date," Serena added.
"You saw McGonagall on a date?" Madison repeated, shocked.
Lily giggled, falling off of James' lap. "Yeah. And we were drunk, too!"
"How did you not get into trouble?" Remus wondered.
Sirius wiggled his eyebrows. "Maybe she had something else on her mind."
"Gross," James said.
"Whose turn is it?" Lily asked, tucking her legs under her and sitting next to James.
"Madison's," James said.
Madison thought for a moment, and then a smile spread across her face. "How many people have you slept with?"
Serena and Lily looked extremely interested in this question, and James and Sirius exchanged a look. Until now, both had avoided telling their girlfriends their number. "Two," Serena said.
Madison nodded. "Same."
"Three," Remus said.
Serena and Lily stared at him. "What?" he asked defensively.
"How come I never knew about this?" Lily demanded. "Who are these girls?"
Remus shrugged, not saying anything. All eyes turned to James. "Uh – six," he mumbled.
He shot a glance at Lily, who was looking at her boyfriend with an eyebrow raised. "Your turn, Lils," Serena prompted her.
"Two," Lily said as James took a swig of champagne.
Everyone stared at her in shock and James sprayed champagne all over the place. He started coughing, finally managing a, "What?!"
Lily burst into laughter. "Just kidding. You should have seen your faces!"
Except for James, who looked put out, they all joined in laughing. Finally Serena looked at Sirius. "You're not getting out of this one," she said.
Sirius sighed. "Uh – " he appeared to be counting in his head. "Somewhere around 10, 15?"
"Fifteen?" Lily repeated, incredulous.
He winked at her. "I'm Sirius Black."
Serena rolled her eyes. "Number of people you've snogged," Lily said.
"What does that include?" Madison asked.
"Everything up until vaginal intercourse," Lily said, sounding like a textbook.
"Too many to count," Sirius said immediately.
James nodded his agreement. "Fine," Lily huffed, crossing her arms. "I'm not telling mine then."
James looked at his girlfriend appraisingly. "How about we say more general numbers," Madison said. "Like…drink if it's more than five."
They all drank. "Seven," Lily said.
They all drank again. "Ten," Serena said.
Everyone but Lily drank. "Twelve," Sirius said.
Now Madison and Remus didn't drink either. "Thirteen," James said.
Only Sirius, James, and Serena drank. "Fifteen," Sirius said.
This time it was only Sirius and James drinking. "You kissed almost fifteen other guys?" Sirius asked Serena.
She patted him on the head. "I was just practicing for you."
Madison snorted a laugh. "Good one."
"I've got one," Serena said, changing the subject. "Besides your boyfriend or girlfriend, who out of our group have you ever had a crush on?"
Except James, they all groaned. He answered first. "No one," he said. "Only Lily."
To Serena's surprise, his statement seemed to make Lily uncomfortable. "Same," Serena said. "Only Sirius."
Sirius grinned at Serena. "Madison," he said.
Madison laughed. "Really? Mine was you!"
"Well, doesn't that just work out perfectly," Serena said sarcastically.
Sirius pulled her into his lap. "Don't worry, I'm mostly over it," he said, giving her a kiss.
A moment later, "Ow!"
He looked at the group. "She bit me."
Madison laughed. "You two are being awfully quiet," she said to Lily and Remus.
Both of them looked extremely uncomfortable. Serena and Sirius both looked at their friends, their interests piqued. "Come on," Madison said. "All the truths are coming out tonight."
Remus and Lily glared at her. Serena had the feeling Madison already knew what Lily and Remus were about to say. "What truths?" James asked.
Remus avoided his friend's gaze. "Wewentonadateonce," Remus said in a rush.
"What?" Sirius asked, not able to understand what Remus had just said.
"We went out. Once," Lily said, looking at James.
"What?!" James and Sirius exclaimed at the same time.
"When?" Serena asked delightedly.
This game was revealing all sorts of interesting information. "End of third year," Madison said, only too happy to fill her in.
Serena waved a hand dismissively. "So you were like what, thirteen? Fourteen? That doesn't count."
"Why not?" Sirius asked. "That's how old I was when I had sex for the first time."
"Not helping," Remus said sharply to Sirius.
James appeared to be in shock. "How did I not know about this?" he finally asked.
Lily shrugged awkwardly. "Uh…it never came up?" she offered.
James frowned at her. "What, did you think I never went on a date until I went out with you?" Lily asked.
"Well, James did try and scare away any guy who showed interest in you," Madison remembered.
She and Sirius exchanged a look and a smile at those memories. "Oooh, how many dates did you go on before you went out with James?" Serena asked. "At least ten, I assume. Speaking of ten, was Remus one of your – "
Lily shot her friend a look that was intended to shut her up. "Can we not turn my love life into a group discussion?"
"Let's forget this truth game and just play never-have-I-ever. No explanations asked for," Remus said.
"Excellent," Madison said, rubbing her hands together. "Never have I ever lied to my friends about dating someone."
Scowling, Lily, Remus, Serena, and Sirius all drank. "Never have I ever falsely accused someone of having feelings for my boyfriend. Or girlfriend," Serena said.
Now it was Madison who frowned. She, James, and Sirius took a drink. "The jealous half," Serena whispered loudly.
Lily and Remus suppressed smiles as Sirius, James, and Madison glared at her. "Never have I ever slept with someone whose name I can't remember," Lily said.
Only Sirius drank. "Never have I ever had sex in this common room," Madison said.
Sirius, Serena, and James drank. Lily raised an eyebrow at her boyfriend. "Never on the common room floor," Lily added.
Sirius and Serena drank. "Never have I ever had a hickey," Remus said.
Serena, James, Lily, Remus, and Madison drank. "You've never had a hickey?" Madison asked Sirius, sounding surprised.
"He's more into giving them, I think," Lily said with a smirk.
"You animal," Serena said with a giggle.
"Never have I ever dated someone because of some ulterior motive," Sirius said, not responding to any of the girls.
Lily, James, Serena, and Remus drank, then all looked at each other. "Spill," Lily commanded the three of them.
"We said no explanations," James protested feebly.
Serena was the first one to reply. "Eric last year, remember? Homework help," she said with a grin.
James sighed. "Nancy McKinnon. Only dated her to make you jealous," he said to Lily.
"John Boot," Lily said.
"I remember that," Sirius said with a laugh.
He sobered up at the glare James shot him. "I only dated him because you were dating Nancy McKinnon," Lily told James.
"Really," James said, looking almost pleased.
Serena cocked a brow at Remus. "You're awfully quiet over there."
Sirius grinned at Remus. "Yeah, Moony. Come on."
Remus glared at Sirius. "Mary Abbott," he said. "It was a bet I had going with Sirius."
"You dated someone because of a bet?" Serena asked, sounding shocked. "You?"
"Yeah, I could see Sirius doing that, but – you?" Lily asked.
"Moony is not as innocent as you girls seem to think he is," Sirius informed them.
"Interesting," Serena said, looking at Remus appraisingly and causing Sirius to frown at her.
Remus was staring steadfastly at the floor. Madison smiled knowingly. "I don't think he is," she said, running a hand through Remus' hair and causing him to turn slightly red.
James made a face. "Too much information."
"Never have I ever lied to get anyone into bed," Remus said, changing the subject.
Sirius, James, and Madison drank. "I might have expected them, but you?" Lily asked Madison.
Madison shrugged. "I'm sticking with the no explanations thing."
"Never have I ever lied when I told someone I loved them," Lily said.
No one drank. "Look how honest we all are," James joked.
All eyes turned to Serena. "Your turn to ask," Lily said to her.
Serena pouted, moving to sit in Sirius' lap. "I can't think of any more."
"Aw, poor baby," Sirius said, running a hand up her leg.
Serena wriggled a bit, grinding her butt against Sirius' crotch. "You ask for me," she said to him.
"All right," he said thoughtfully, tracing circles on Serena's thigh. "Who, besides your boyfriend or girlfriend, is the sexiest in our group?"
They all fell silent for a moment, thinking. "James," Serena said, the first to speak.
James shot her a surprised look. Serena winked at him. "I saw that," Lily said good-naturedly.
"Sirius," Madison said.
"Serena," Remus put in.
"Serena," James agreed
Sirius was frowning at Remus. "Oh come on, Sirius," Remus said.
To everyone's surprise, he grinned. "Remember when we first saw Serena?"
Madison frowned slightly, but now James was grinning too. "I do. Sirius called dibs."
Lily tried to muffle a laugh, and Serena felt her mouth drop open. "You said what?" she asked indignantly, turning around to face him.
He smiled at her, not the least bit apologetic. "I wanted you for myself," he said.
"Arrogant ass," Serena muttered, ignoring him as he pulled her close again and kissed her on the cheek.
"Let's continue with the game," Madison said.
"Frank," Lily said.
Serena, Madison, and James stared at her. "What? He's scholarly," Lily said with a giggle. "I like it."
"Your turn," Madison reminded Sirius.
"Rosie," he finally said.
"Rosie?" James repeated.
Sirius shrugged. "I've got a thing for blue eyes."
Nobody said anything for a moment. Sirius was skimming his fingertips along Serena's thigh. Lily had leaned in and started kissing James. And Remus was running his hand along Madison's side, his fingers gently stroking the side of her breast and then going all the way down to her hips. "Good night," Remus finally said, breaking the silence.
He and Madison went upstairs to the boys' room. Serena and Sirius looked at Lily and James. Lily was now straddling James and it had turned into a full-blown make-out session. "Let's go to my room," Serena suggested. "I think they're fine where they are."
They went upstairs to the girls' room. Sirius immediately stripped off all his clothes except his boxers, lying down on Serena's bed. "Come here," Sirius ordered her.
Giving him a sultry smile, Serena slowly pulled her dress up over her head, then took out the pins in her hair and shook it out. Clad in only her undergarments and her high heels, Serena climbed on top of him. "Tell me the story of when you first saw me," Serena commanded him.
Sirius reached up a hand and undid her bra. "You walked in with Lily," he said. "So I asked James if he had been holding out on me. Peter and Remus and I all thought you were hot, so I claimed you first. I told them beautiful girls are my type."
Serena looked at him, considering his words. "What'd you think when you first saw me?" he asked.
Serena actually felt herself blush a bit. "Are you blushing?" Sirius asked her disbelievingly.
"No," Serena lied.
Now Sirius was intrigued. "Tell me," he cajoled her, a hand on her breast.
Serena sighed, giving in. "I thought you were hot…especially when you gave me that grin of yours."
She deliberately left out the whole your-smile-made-me-weak-in-the-knees-thing. "And I could tell that you knew it, too," she added. "Conceited bastard."
Sirius smirked and Serena decided to change the subject. "So, you slept with fifteen other girls and once had a thing for Madison, hmm?" Serena asked him, planting kisses on his chest.
Sirius gave a little laugh. "I thought I was the jealous one," he said.
"I'm not jealous," Serena said, continuing to kiss her way down his chest and pulling down his boxers. "But I am going to make you forget about everyone else."
Sirius put a hand on her head. "You already have."
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The next day was Saturday. Break was almost over; everyone was coming back to school the following day. James and Lily had both woken up relatively early. They were still lying on the floor of the common room. "My head hurts," Lily moaned.
James gave it a kiss. "This is why students shouldn't drink in the school," he joked.
Lily snuggled into him. "I think we distracted Remus for awhile," she said, her fingers tracing circles on his bare chest. "That's good."
"I can't believe you went on a date with him," James said.
He no longer sounded mad, just generally disbelieving. "It was one time," Lily said for what felt like the hundredth time.
"Was he one of your ten?" James asked, his voice serious.
"No," Lily said honestly.
She elbowed him. "Serena thinks you're hot."
"Well why wouldn't she," James said, sounding pleased with himself.
"Did you see how happy she and Sirius are?"
"Yeah, yeah," he admitted grudgingly.
"I hope she works up the nerve to tell Sirius she loves him," Lily said, half to herself.
"We should put some clothes on before someone comes down here," she said to James.
She looked at her dress, then at the stairs. "I'll wear the dress," she decided.
No way was she going into her room this early. Who knew what was going on up there.
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But Serena and Sirius were still sleeping. Almost two hours later, Serena woke up to find herself engulfed by Sirius. He had a leg slung over her thighs and his arm was wrapped tightly around her, pulling her against his chest. Serena wiggled a bit, but Sirius' arm just tightened. "Mine," he mumbled.
Serena managed to turn over so that she was facing him. She started kissing him. "Wake up," she said.
"No," he said sleepily, keeping his eyes closed.
Serena squirmed, but Sirius' grip was viselike. Now that she was awake, she couldn't fall asleep again. "I have to go to the bathroom," Serena complained.
Sirius sighed, loosening his hold on her. He opened his eyes and watched her as she got dressed. "Oh, sure, now you're awake," she said.
Sirius grinned. "Yeah, when I can check out a naked girl."
Now fully clothed, she stuck out her tongue at him and left the room. She stretched her arms above her head, making sure to be noisy as she went downstairs to the common room. But to her surprise, only James was there, sitting on a couch. Serena eyed him as she sat down too. "Where's Lily?" she asked.
James looked at her for a moment. "Slughorn's talking to her. We ran into him at breakfast."
There was an awkward silence. Serena heard James take a deep breath. "I wanted to apologize," he finally said.
Serena looked at him but didn't reply. "For what I said right before break," James elaborated.
"Why are you apologizing?" Serena finally said. "I know you meant it."
James looked uncomfortable. "I guess I'm apologizing because I believe what Lily told me," James said slowly.
Serena cocked her head. "What'd she say?" she asked, interested.
James looked directly into Serena's eyes. "That you love Sirius."
Serena gave him a half-smile. "Yeah. I do. Have for awhile."
"Serena – " James stopped, not knowing how or if he should say what he was about to say.
Serena remained silent, as if she could sense that James was struggling with his next words. "I just want you to understand something," he eventually said. "Before you, no one has ever told Sirius that they loved him."
Serena was confused. What was the big deal? "Well, besides Sirius no one I've ever dated said that to me before either. What – "
"No," James interrupted. "Listen to me. No one has ever said those words to him. Ever."
Serena stared at him. "I know he doesn't get along with his family, obviously," she stammered. "But surely when he was little – "
James shook his head and Serena's voice trailed off. Her eyes filled with sadness. "Oh. James, I – I didn't know. Bloody hell, I've deserved anything you ever said to me."
Just then Lily came into the common room. "Hey," she said.
She looked between them. "What's going on?" she asked.
"Nothing," Serena said, giving Lily an easy smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.
She stood up. "I'll see you guys later."
She quickly left the common room. Reaching a deserted hallway, she slid down the wall and sat on the floor. Serena couldn't believe what James had just told her. No one ever told Sirius that they loved him. Sometimes I really wonder how he turned out to be so – so wonderful.
She remembered the first time they had exchanged those words. It had been Serena's birthday, and Sirius had given her Eros. Looking back, she could see his shock and uncertainty showing on his face. Serena could feel guilt spreading through her entire body. I am the only one who ever said those words to him…and then I took it away.
Serena had always known she had hurt Sirius when she broke up with him. But she justified it because at the time, she had done it because she loved him so much. Now, though, she realized how badly she really must have hurt him. I thought I was hurting, Serena thought, remembering all those nights she had cried herself to sleep.
Serena put her head in her hands. Never before had she felt like such a terrible person. She now had newfound respect for James and his loyalty to Sirius. James' anger with Serena over the past few months was completely defensible.
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"What was that all about?" Lily asked.
James shifted his weight, trying to decide how much to tell her. "I apologized to Serena," he finally said simply.
"Good," came a voice behind him.
Sirius was coming down the stairs and had heard what James had just told Lily. James crossed his arms, looking between his friend and his girlfriend. "I meant what I said, though," he added. "Even if I shouldn't have said it."
"James – " Lily began.
"I know," Sirius interrupted. "And I appreciate your looking out for me. Us," he said, nodding in Lily's direction. "But – "
"I know," James said.
A look of understanding passed between the two of them, and Lily didn't say anything. "Where is Serena, anyway?" Sirius asked, his tone lighter.
James shrugged. "She left a few minutes ago," Lily said. "She didn't say where."
Sirius left to find her, finally finding her sitting on the floor in a deserted corridor, her head in her hands. "What's the matter?" Sirius asked, immediately concerned.
He crouched down in front of her as she raised her head. Her eyes looked sad and guilty. "I love you," Serena said.
She quickly continued to talk before Sirius could say anything. "And I know you might not believe me, because of what happened last time, but that's fine. Eventually you will, because I'm going to tell you every day."
"Serena – " Sirius began, cupping her face in his hand.
Tears came to her eyes as she interrupted him. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I never stopped loving you, you know, never. I'm so, so sorry. Why aren't you mad at me?" she asked, biting her lip.
"Because I love you," he said, his thumb stroking her cheek.
Her eyes met his. "I don't deserve – "
"I'm not being benevolent here, Serena," Sirius said sharply. "I'm happy when I'm with you, and I'm unhappy when I'm not. I'm a selfish guy. I want what makes me feel good."
Serena smiled, his words making her feel lighter. She brought her hand to the neck of his shirt, pulling his face closer to hers. "You're my selfish guy," she said.
"Mm-hmm," Sirius agreed as she pulled his mouth to hers.
Serena leaned back for a moment. "And I love you."
She kissed him.
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The next day was when everyone was due to come back to school. Remus and Madison were still sleeping in the boys' room and Serena was upstairs changing while Lily, James, and Sirius waited for her downstairs in the common room. "I don't know how I feel about this happy version of you," Lily said to Sirius. "Have you stopped smiling at all since yesterday?"
"Shut up," Sirius said good-naturedly.
He looked at James, his eyes slightly serious. "What'd you say to Serena, anyway?"
Lily also looked at her boyfriend, who was sitting very still. "I already told you," he said, his gaze never faltering. "I apologized to her."
"Yeah, I know that's what you said," Sirius replied, not looking like he believed his friend.
James shrugged. Lily didn't say anything, and Sirius decided to drop it. Who cares what James said, anyway? he thought.
Fighting the urge to smile, he reminded himself that Serena loved him. He had no doubts that she meant it – for the moment. Now all he had to do was make sure nothing happened that convinced her to leave him again.
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Serena, Sirius, James, Lily, Madison, and Remus were all sitting together in the Gryffindor common room as the rest of the student body began returning to Hogwarts. "What's going on with everyone?" Serena finally asked her friends.
The Gryffindors that had been streaming into the common room seemed gloomy and subdued. "Haven't you guys been reading the paper?" James asked them.
Embarrassed, Serena, Sirius, and Lily shook their heads. "There were a lot of…incidents…over the holiday," Madison told her friends.
She squeezed Remus' hand. Just then Lily saw Frank and Alice enter the common room. "Hey!" she called, waving them over with a smile.
Serena smiled at her friends also, but was surprised that they didn't return her smile. They came over to their friends. "Hey," Frank said, his arm around Alice.
Her eyes looked red, as if she'd been crying. "What's the matter?" Lily asked her, concerned.
Alice and Frank stared at them in shock. "You mean you don't know?"
"Know what?" Sirius demanded.
Tears filled Alice's eyes. "Rosie…she's dead," Alice choked out.
Serena felt her stomach drop. "What?" she whispered.
"What happened?" James asked, his voice somber.
Frank and Alice sat down as Frank quickly told them the details. "Death Eater attack. They got her whole family. Her father had been writing some anti-Voldemort pieces for the Daily Prophet."
Except for Frank and Alice, everyone was frozen into horrified silence. Serena's mind was whirring with a million thoughts, but the one she finally settled on was Remus. She looked at him. First his parents, now a friend. Would he be all right? "Remus – " Serena began.
Sirius looked at them as Remus gave Serena a nod. "I'm fine," he cut her off, and Madison put her arm around him.
"His parents died," Madison explained to Frank and Alice, who had watched the exchange confusedly.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Remus," Alice said softly.
Frank added his condolences as well. Lily hadn't said anything since hearing about Rosie, and James was looking at his girlfriend worriedly. The eight friends sat in silence. Frank had his arm around Alice, and Madison had hers around Remus. James was rubbing Lily's arm, but she seemed oblivious. Serena's hand had found Sirius', and she was clutching it tightly.
Suddenly Lily stood up and left as she started to cry. James got up and followed her. Alice and Frank left to put their things back into their respective rooms. Serena let go of Sirius' hand, standing up. "I'll see you later," she told her remaining friends.
She left the common room, intending to write her brother a letter. "Serena!" she heard someone calling her.
She stopped, turning around, and saw Sirius striding towards her. He stopped in front of her, and Serena saw that he was also upset. Rosie was his friend too, Serena reminded herself.
"What are you doing?" he asked her.
"I wanted to write my brother a letter," Serena said softly. "I just – I want him to know that – I want him to know stuff," she finished lamely. "In case…just in case. Stuff happens, you know."
Sirius opened his arms and Serena moved into them, her hands clutching his shirt collar. "I can't believe he got Rosie," Serena said, her voice sounding strangled as she started to cry.
"I know," Sirius said, his voice sounding rough.
He squeezed Serena tight. "I know."