Just like Me: Part 2

In the middle of nowhere, the Fairwind floated.

The ship had emerged from hyperspace three days ago, not that space had day or night, but never the less…time had passed.

The ship was not under its own power, the engines had shut down, and only lights and life support remained active.

Not that there was much life left on the courier vessel.

If one was to draw close to the ship, spacewalk over to the vessel they would notice the main viewport was stained red, if they got closer, looked inside, they would see the body lying on its side, a large kitchen knife on the deck less than two steps away. A puddle of dried blood surrounding the corpse.

They would also notice the footprints in the blood, uneven, with the left one slightly off, like the person who had made it walked with a limp.

If anyone had seen that, they would be correct. The Fairwind was no longer a functional vessel. Its crew as dead as the ship's momentum.

Only one person remained alive.

IOI

Three days earlier:

The Fairwind continued to move through hyperspace, still following its chosen course…

…The crew…no longer cared.

Death had come quietly and swiftly for most of them. Death in the form of a fourteen-year-old girl, small in stature, waif-like, some might say, with bright green eyes, blonde hair, and a twisted foot.

Death had a name…her name was Zay.

The serving girl of Darth Avaryss, Dark Lord of the Sith. Almost two weeks earlier, the Sith Master had given the girl a mission, that mission, now had casualties.

Once and operational courier ship, the Fairwind had become a tomb.

Yet, the murderer wasn't celebrating.

No, Zay wasn't celebrating at all.

The girl was curled up in a fetal position in her bunk, the tiny space offered to her by the people she had murdered. The people who had taken her in. The one's who had kindly taken her off the moon of Nar Shadda.

She cowered there, overwhelmed by what had happened, what she had done.

Alone.

A shiver ran down her spine.

She was alone, but not alone. She was still here, with her own troubled thoughts, and the ghosts of her victims.

It was almost more than the young girl could bear.

She buried her head in her hands and sobbed.

It was too much!

She had not expected it to be like this.

She…she…

She couldn't describe it.

She had killed them. She had killed them all.

The though alone brought another bout of raking sobs.

She had never killed anyone before, never hurt anyone before!

She was horrified, she couldn't even look at her victims, their empty eyes staring up, accusingly.

Why? The empty shells seemed to whisper.

We helped you?

All we tried to do was help you?

WHY?!

She knew why she had done it, what she had hoped would happen, but now, in the silent company of ghosts and the smell of death.

She wasn't sure she had made the right choice.

Her victims, the Celchu family had done nothing but help her.

Now…they were dead.

Now…she had to live with that.

She had expected to feel something, a surge of power, reward for actions.

Yet, she felt nothing, only cold, and guilt.

Why?

She shuddered.

You know why.

She nodded.

It needed to be done, she thought.

They were in my way.

They would have ruined everything!

The path to the Sith is not easy!

Power is not easy to grasp.

She rocked back and forth, covering her ears, the ship was silent, but…

It's the screams.

She…she could still hear him.

Johun's screams.

He had died crying for help, calling out to his mom.

Calls that the dead woman had been unable to answer.

Those cries haunted her more than she thought they would…

They…

They were…

No…damn!

She could still hear him gagging, calling out while he…. attacked her.

No, while he was trying to defend himself.

"MOM! AHK! MOM! AWK! HELP! MAAAAAA!"

Now Zay screamed trying to drown it out, trying to find silence.

"SHUT UP!" she wailed.

"PLEASE! STOP! SHUT UP!

She looked up seeing her reflection in the mirror, she was sticky with blood (Johun's) and vomit (Hers).

It was a nightmare she couldn't wake up from.

She reached into herself, trying to sense the dark side, that…that is what Master Avaryss would have done.

She would have drawn strength from her actions.

Zay…felt nothing.

Only crippling guilt and the smell of blood.

She wailed again.

Somebody, help me!

MASTER!

HELP ME!

IOI

A few hours earlier, she had emerged from her quarters. She had been waiting, just having served up death in the form of a poisoned stew.

The ship had fallen silent, only the rumble of hyperspace, and the various ticks and pings of a ship moving through it.

Zay went to the main compartment; she knew what she would find.

She had not been disappointed.

Dal and Rand Celchu were dead at the table, having fallen into the bowls of their dinner, the death Zay had prepared. Captain Celchu, Morse, had actually managed to rise, tipping over his chair but collapsing halfway to the bridge.

Zay had stared at the bodies, her eyes filled with a mix of fascination and horror.

She had done it.

She had killed them.

She could feel the dark side roiling distantly, the silent suffering of her victims drawing it close.

It was so quiet, but distantly, she could almost hear the call of the dark side, whispering in her ear.

Not done.

Not done.

To the bridge.

To the bridge.

Johun.

The ship was hers, but she still needed to make sure.

She needed to get to the bridge.

She had to see Johun's body too.

She…needed to make sure.

She sang to herself as she tried to move silently past her victims, she didn't want to look at them, even though her eyes were drawn to what she had done.

The smell of the stew mixed with the scent of fresh death, her stomach roiled, but she tried to push on.

They were dead.

They were weak.

The weak deserved that fate.

Zay took a shuddering breath.

A full Sith would understand.

Had her master, Darth Avaryss wanted the Fairwind, she would have taken it. She would have crushed the Celchus with the Force, blasted them down with Force Lightning, drained their life energy until they were just withered husks.

Zay had seen her do it. The night she had taken Zay for her own. The Sith Master had killed four thugs back on Bogden, the world where Zay's master had lived.

She held up her hands, looking down at them.

Even now, thinking about that first night, what she had seen, she had been terrified by the display of dark side power…

…Terrified, but…fascinated as well.

What would it have been like to be able to do that?

That had been the beginning, she realized now.

She hadn't known she was Force sensitive, not then, but…in that moment.

She had wanted what Avaryss had to offer.

She wanted the power of the dark side.

In her mind's she saw her master, the way she had looked that night, clad in the robes and armor of a Sith.

"If you want power, child," the Sith seemed to say.

You MUST take IT!

Zay nodded.

Through strength I gain power.

Through power…I gain victory!

Zay had won here on the Fairwind, it was hers. She…

She froze.

There were sounds coming from the bridge.

…Human sounds…sounds of life.

Zay peaked inside, her eyes widening with horror.

OH NO!

Johun Celchu was still alive, the young man was still sitting at the helm, his attention focused on a datapad.

Zay blinked.

What?!

How was this possible!

HOW?!

The stew bowl she had so kindly left for him remained on the small tray where she had sat it, untouched. Its contents gone cold by time.

A wave of terror washed over Zay.

He…he didn't eat.

HE DIDN'T!

NOOOOO!

She glanced over her shoulder at the three bodies behind her.

What was going to happen when the young man saw what she had done to his family?

Zay started to back away in horror.

Johun was three years older than her, and about twice her weight, most of that being muscle.

In a fight, she had no chance…none…she…

You know what must be done!

Again, Master Avaryss' words filled her thoughts.

She gulped.

Finish it, Zay!

The boy stands in the way! He will seek to deny you your power!

Don't let him!

DEAL WITH HIM!

She moved as quietly as she could, slipping back into the main compartment.

She almost tripped on Morse Celchu's outstretched arm. Stumbling forward when her leg brace caught on his hand.

Cursing silently, she freed herself, hoping that Johun had not heard.

The dinner table had stopped her from falling, as she looked down her eyes widened.

A large kitchen knife sat before her. Why Dal Celchu had gotten it out, Zay didn't know?

A gift from the dark side, girl, Avaryss' voice purred in her ear.

Don't be timid.

Use it!

She picked up the blade, and, as quietly as she could, made her way back to the bridge, still singing under her breath.

The song was something her mother had taught her when she was very small, a lullaby that always made her feel better.

It had protected her many times, shielding her from the darkest things in a slave's life.

She used it now to muster her courage.

She tried to call on her anger, Master Avaryss had showed her how, but…her fear was too strong, it would not get out of the way.

She crept up, and into the bridge.

Johun didn't turn. If he heard her singing, he didn't even acknowledge it. As she stood there, singing softly and low, the boy seemed to relax he leaned back in his chair, oblivious, relaxed.

Zay's eyes widened.

It was at that moment, she felt it…saw it.

WOW!

A slight glow suffused the boy, he seemed to be wrapped in tendrils made of shadow.

Zay realized that the tendrils were coming from her!

The dark side had come to her aid!

It was the song, she knew instinctively, the song, and her fear. The dark side was feeding on the latter, using the former to ensnare the boy…her prey.

Zay almost laughed, but she didn't dare.

She feared if she stopped singing, the spell would end.

She crept forward, slowly, a felinx hunting ranat.

Her stomach twisted nervously.

Be quick.

She looked down at the blade in her hand.

She remembered the violent holos that Master Ankar had liked, how spies and adventurers were always using knives to slit the throats of their enemies.

A quick silent death.

Johun wouldn't suffer.

She was not a cruel person.

She would be quick.

The boy remained oblivious to her presence, even with her heavy boot. She raised the knife.

Just draw it across his neck, like in the holos!

Her heart pounded.

In that last moment, she stopped singing.

The aura around the boy vanished, he shook his head and leaned forward.

Zay panicked.

She stabbed down.

She didn't slit his throat.

The shaking blade, in her shaking hand, plunged into Johun Celchu's neck.

The boy gasped, and leapt to his feet, more shocked than in pain!

He turned not really seeing her.

He lunged.

They both went down.

He grabbed Zay, all his weight came down on top of her.

He didn't seem to realize what she had done to him.

Instinctively, he attacked her. Still gagging, not sure what was going on!

His hands wrapped around her throat.

Zay shrieked, coughing, trying to breathe. She reached up for his face, clawing trying to get to her knife.

The two fought.

"MAWM!" the older boy gasped, still oblivious to what was going on, just attacking like a crazed animal!

Zay squirmed beneath him, trying to fight. She kicked and punched at him wildly, just trying to get him off!

She had no plan, no more than her victim.

They were just two animals fighting for their lives.

Johun grabbed at her face digging his fingers into her cheeks.

"MAUM! MAUM…Ek…ALP! 'ELP!"

"MAUMMMMMMMMM!"

His fingers moved close to her left eye, Zay gasping realizing what he was trying to do.

Trying to gauge out her eye, blind her!

Her terror retreated. The Fury was on her in seconds!

RAHHHHHHHHH!

The dark side filled her up, granting her its strength. Her slender arms pushed the boy's hand away.

She reached up and grabbed the blade jutting from his neck.

She twisted it, HARD, and pulled it out.

Blood sprayed everywhere!

Zay gasped as she was covered in red!

Johun leapt off her trying to get away, his life gushing from the hole in his neck.

He didn't make it three steps.

He collapsed on the floor, almost on top of his murderer.

Zay lay there, her heart pounding in her ears. Her breath escaping her lips in wheezing gasps.

She pushed Johun, the body…away. The cockpit of the ship was now dripping with red.

Zay looked down at the twitching corpse next to her.

Her stomach turned.

She vomited on herself, and on the body.

Terror and the dark side gave her strength, she untangled herself from the dead boy.

Get away, her fevered brain cried out.

GET AWAY!

GET AWAY!

HIDE!

She didn't think.

She ran back to her bunk, still gagging.

What have I done?!

Now she did trip, she fell and found herself staring into the dead vacant stare of Morse Celchu. Those eyes looked into her soul, blaming her for the murder of his sons, his wife!

Why, kid?

WHY?!

She had no answer.

She had to get away!

"I'm sorry," she murmured.

"I'm sorry!"

RUN! HIDE!

RUN!

IOI

How long she lay in her bunk, curled up and sobbing, she truly could not say.

Everything felt wrong, she…she had done what she had planned, but…

Johun!

That…it…it had been horrible!

HORRIBLE!

Her face hurt where the boy's nails had dug in. she had no feeling in her bad leg.

As she lay there, part of her wanted death, would have gladly accepted it, if one of her victims had survived.

She would have let them kill her.

She was a murderer.

Wasn't that what she deserved?!

Wasn't it?

As she lay there, among the bloody sheets, her mind retreated deeper into herself. She wanted to disappear, to not be there, to be anywhere but here…

But in that dark place, down in the shadows of her now tainted soul, the girl felt something.

Hungry and sure footed.

It came out of the shadows, seized her, and wrapped her in its embrace.

She didn't even struggle.

She whimpered as she fell into it.

She…fell!

Cold power wrapped her in its embrace, it was so cold that it burned her.

She gasped.

It was like falling into an icy lake. It felt like she had been set on fire!

The cold…heat…whatever it was washed away her confusion.

As she lay in her bunk, she…she began to understand.

She stopped shaking, her sobs turned to mere whimpers.

OH!

The shadow whispered to her, offering her solace, and comfort.

Why cry, child?

Why weep?

"Because I killed people," she whimpered.

"I killed."

The weak deserve their fate.

"Johun…oh…by the Force…what have I done!"

"Temmin will never forgive me."

The boy doesn't need to know.

"Johun…oh…oh please."

Johun was a fool.

She blinked.

He was a fool. Wasn't he?

She nodded.

Yes.

Had he eaten the death you had provided, he would not have suffered, he would not have needed to be put down.

His fault, girl. Not yours.

His fault.

The weak deserve their fate!

Zay sniffled.

"His…fault," she whimpered.

"The weak deserve their fate."

"His fault! The weak deserve it."

"His fault."

"He deserved it."

"His fault!"

"HIS FAULT!"

The words became a mantra, she repeated them, again, and again.

Her fear faded, replaced by anger…anger…and disdain.

Stupid boy!

Stupid Johun!

Her eyes narrowed.

Why couldn't you just be a good boy, eat your dinner and die!

DIE!

As the shadow caressed her soul, she tried to rise, and collapsed out of the bunk, pain went up her arm making her cry out. She had no feeling in her left leg.

She cursed as she tried to rub the circulation back into it. The withered flesh blazing with pins and needles.

It hurt, but with it, she was able to move again.

Take in the pain, the shadow whispered.

Don't hide from it, use it!

Use it!

She struggled to her feet, and found a mirror.

The sight horrified her anew.

She was sticky with blood, her clothes stained with vomit.

She looked like some walking corpse her eyes cold, her lips pulled back in a sneer.

She wanted to look away, but she wouldn't do it.

She refused.

She wouldn't look away.

She stared at the murderer in the mirror, seeing her face.

Zay nodded, and took a deep breath.

She hated the face staring back at her, eyes red from blubbering like a baby. Her cheeks torn by Johun's finger nails.

The guilt tried to rise up, overwhelm her again, but this time…she held it back.

She did as her master had taught her after the Zakuul had bombed Valdora, she rose above the pain, she went to the mountain peak within the Force, looking down on the mundane and the weak.

The guilt was still there, maybe…it always would be.

You have no power over me, she thought.

She snarled at the blood-soaked girl in the mirror.

"I hate you," she spat.

I.

HATE!

YOU!

She took another breath, and let it out, letting the last of the crippling fear out with it.

She turned back to the rest of the ship.

She still had much to do.

She moved with renewed strength.

The dark side had rejuvenated her.

She remembered her plan.

She needed to bring the ship out of hyperspace!

But first…first…

She took another shuddering breath.

First, she needed to see to the bodies.

They were obstacles, still in her way.

She needed to handle that.

IOI

It took her almost an hour to handle the clean-up. She dragged the bodies of Dal, Morse, and Rand to the airlock. The stew pot, bowls, and any other evidence that she could think of went with them. The bodies were the worst, they were so heavy. Her feet hurt, her back throbbed, but she was able to get everything into the airlock that needed to go there.

Johun's body remained where it was, she needed that.

It was part of the story she would tell her rescuers.

If she was to be the hero, the tale needed a villain.

The older boy would do nicely.

She worked with her eyes closed, she couldn't bear to look at the ship, her days travelling with these people and given her memories, memories that now brought tears and the threat of crippling guilt.

Hugs from Dal.

Approving looks from Morse.

Shy smiles of interest from Rand.

A friendly chuckle from Johun.

Good people, honest people.

They…

No she said shaking her head.

Don't look!

Don't look!

She cursed under her breath.

Damn it!

They were fools, chained to their tiny lives. She would never be bound again; she had been a slave as long as she could remember.

She would never be chained again.

She would know no fear.

She…would be free!

She sang as she worked, the old lullaby, only this time it had new words. Words she was starting to believe in.

Peace is a lie, there is only passion.

The weak deserve their fate.

Through passion I gain strength!

All their fault!

Through strength I gain power.

The weak deserve their fate.

Through power I gain victory.

All their fault.

Through victory…my chains are broken.

The weak are dead.

The Force shall set me…free…FREEEEE!

Finally, when everything was done, she sealed the airlock, let the hatch cycle through.

She took one last look at her victims, the fools that dared oppose her ascension to the ranks of the Sith.

Zay sneered.

The weak deserve their fate.

She was angry.

What they had made her do.

They deserved her rage…her disdain.

They had wanted to drag her down, now…they were done.

They had been weak, and they had paid for it.

She wanted to tell them so, one last word before she sent them on their final journey.

She hated them.

Her hand went to the purge button.

"I hate myself," she murmured.

She hit the switch.

The airlock blew out.

The bodies, and all evidence of her murder of the Celchu family went spiraling out, spinning into the blue swirling nothingness that was hyperspace.

Zay let out a breath she had not realized she was holding.

Gone, she thought.

Gone, and done.

She hit the button again, sealing the door.

She turned away, the dead were gone, forgotten.

Yet, she would need to bear the stink of Johun's body a little longer.

She made for the bridge, to bring the ship out of hyperspace, and then, she would send the signal.

THEE signal.

The code was something she had picked up while wandering around survivor base, back before anyone knew she was Force Sensitive.

She hadn't even remembered it until the dark side brought it back to her.

She smiled.

The first part of her plan was complete.

Now…she needed to set the second in motion.

That…and wait.

IOI

They showed up on the third day.

She had been practicing meditating, focusing on the dark side, when she heard them, the banging sound of another ship connecting to the Fairwind's airlock.

She rose on unsteady legs. Dizziness nearly put her back down.

Master Avaryss could sustain herself with the dark side, go for a week or more without food or water.

Zay didn't know how to do that…yet.

She had not eaten in the last three days, she couldn't bear to be in the ship's galley, the smell of the food there made her ill. She had had several cups of water, but they had done nothing to refresh her.

She also hadn't slept. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Johun's face, heard his final screams. His pleas for his mother.

She couldn't handle that, and during her waiting, she had come to despise the family who had taken her off of Nar Shadda.

She hated them. Hated them for making her act. Hated them for not seeing through her lies.

Hated their weakness!

Hated them all!

Just like she now hated herself.

Her head swam as she stumbled out into the main compartment.

Starving, dehydrated, covered in blood and vomit, she looked like the most pathetic creature that had ever lived.

Which was… the point.

She wanted to be seen as a victim.

Those who had got her signal needed to see her as a victim.

Anything but a murderer.

Anything…but a Sith.

She heard voices, one familiar voice in particular.

"JAS? JAS? Buddy? You here?"

Zay smiled; a giggle escaped her lips.

She wondered if Master Jas realized she had memorized his personal communication code?

Well, he would now.

"Got a body up here, captain?"

"Jas?"

Nah, just some kid. Died ugly too!

"Death is often ugly, Mankin."

Zay staggered into the main compartment. Three men stood there, dressed in garbs of seasoned spacers, smugglers all.

The one in the middle was the only one that mattered to Zay.

The one she had hoped would respond to Master Jas Dar Bynn's comm signal.

"Captain," she murmured.

"Captain Cooper?"

The old smuggler turned; his eyes widened at the sight.

A bloody starving girl, with wide shell-shocked eyes.

The perfect victim.

One of the other men looked at her. His eyes as wide as hers.

"Boss. It is a kid!"

The smuggler chieftain's eyes narrowed.

"A familiar kid, Wuld."

He turned to Zay.

"I know you, don't I? You're the Sith's serving girl? Zee…something, yeah?"

"Zay," she said rocking on her feet. The last of her strength failing.

"Help me."

She fell forward, the old smuggler rushed up, catching her in his arms.

Zay wheezed as she started the long descent into unconsciousness.

"MANKIN! GET BACK HERE! WULD get this kid aboard the Folly, to medical. We will take her back to the base."

Had she been able to, Zay would have smiled.

Cooper was taking her home, back to his base.

The one place where the location of Survivor Base was likely to be. Cooper had visited several times after all.

He would have it.

Her master's most desired secret.

The young Sith tried to giggle, but it came out as a tired groan.

She felt herself being lifted up, carried away from the scene of her crime.

She welcomed it.

If she ever saw the Fairwind again it would be too soon.

As she let herself slip into unconsciousness, she was content.

She was one step closer to victory…

…and through victory, her chains would be broken.

The Force would set her free!

And if the smuggler or anyone else tried to stop her well…

…the weak deserved their fate.

Yes.

The weak deserved their fate.

A/N: Next chapter up soon, until then dear readers.

DG