-Adrian Amberheim, 18, District 12-
There was so much going on around him. And yet, none of it was able to make him feel something. He felt just as hollow as he did sitting in that prison cell. Despite being surrounded by the rich lifestyle he always dreamt of. He sometimes thought that living this way would make him happy, but he wasn't happy at all. He was still feeling that same familiar feeling of emptiness. As if all of his life force was getting slowly sucked out of him.
But he couldn't show that. He didn't want someone to notice. He didn't want them to try and talk him out of dying. He was resolved to his fate. Ember would be the one to tout the flag for District Twelve, but Adrian was just done with all of this. He wanted to finally join his family like he always intended to do. He wanted everything to go to black, and be done, his essence gone, his body absorbed back into earth, giving life to something that would be much more content there than he was.
But how he felt didn't matter right now. What mattered was keeping up morale for his District team. He really did want Ember to leave this place with her life. She truly did deserve it, despite their staunch difference in philosophy. She was certainly a better person than Adrian, trying so hard to take care of her family and her boyfriend. Adrian, personally, just couldn't understand where she could have possibly gotten that fire from that made her break her back to take care of them so much for so damn long. Perhaps something could be learned from her. Something about… living.
But not tonight. Nobody was their real and authentic self tonight, Adrian included. Everyone had some sort of front up – whether it was strategic or simply out of fear, that was the question. It was somewhat amusing to observe how cordial and polite Ember was with everyone, how friendly and un-weird Bates was being with everyone. So different from how they acted on their floor. Adrian just kept that smile on his face. Nobody had to see what was lurking behind it. It was all one big deception. Even Cadmus – who was very much like Adrian in a lot of ways – was so different than his typical self tonight. And while it was almost comical watching him try to charm the crowd, it was also just… Sad. If anything, it made Adrian feel worse that everyone was so willing to put aside who they truly were for this. If only they could accept their impending death, perhaps then they wouldn't be running around trying to talk to the Capitolites and just do what they truly wanted to spend their last night on earth doing.
Yeah, he knew he was a hypocrite. But in his case, it was different. He just wanted to bring about something good before he went. And being upfront about his intention caused people to get so weird. He didn't want everyone to see him as a special case and waste their time and effort trying to convince him that life was worth living. Adrian was wise beyond his years, he knew that it really wasn't going to get better for him. And he accepted that. That was why he was here, after all.
"Oh, Adrian!" his escort's voice caused him to look up.
He wished that he had what Angelina had. She had… something. Some sort of spark that Adrian couldn't even fathom having. A will to live, and do good. Perhaps because she never had to want for a single thing in her life, he didn't know. But he just put an easy smile on his face and waved to her.
"Hey," he said. "Surprised you're not off with Bates behind a tree."
Angelina blushed at that, but she started laughing. "Nah, not until eleven-thirty."
Adrian laughed at that, but he wasn't totally sure that she was joking. "Careful, I've heard the paparazzi is crazy tonight."
"Oh, me too," Angelina sighed a little bit and shook her head.
"I see you got your hair done for your little meeting with him," Adrian commented, reaching over to pull down one of the curly tendrils of hair and letting it go. He managed to let out a small laugh at the way it bounced.
"Oh, yes," Angelina said with a grin. "Ember and I went together. Poor Ms. Jansing, I'm sure her hands are exhausted. But she seemed to be enjoying herself, sitting up on the table and singing along to every song. Anakyn eventually came with a whole bunch of hair stuff and helped her out by getting everyone parted and in pigtails.
"Sounds like a well-oiled machine," Adrian commented with a small smile.
"Oh they sure were," Angelina said with an amused laugh. "Do you think he's going to like it?"
"He would like your hair even if you just got into a fight with a nest of crows," he said with a small laugh. It was true. He didn't understand it at all, but Bates always got happier when she entered the room. He hadn't ever felt that way about anyone, so he wouldn't understand. But at least they could find something to cling to in their foolish pursuit of happiness in this life.
Angelina blushed a little bit and smiled. "Yeah, true," she said with a shrug. "But I want to hear more about your night!"
"Oh," Adrian said, sighing a little bit. He wanted to tell her the truth. It wasn't really anything special. It was just another night on earth. But… He couldn't do that with a good conscience. "It's been great!" he said, wishing he could feel as enthusiastic as he sounded.
"Good!" Angelina said. "Oh, have you been on the Ferris wheel yet?" she asked. "It's amazing. I usually go with my sister, but she abandoned me after Funky Town."
"What, did she go to die of secondhand embarrassment?" Adrian teased, elbowing Angelina as she started laughing loudly.
"That's what I would have done if Bates danced like that," she commented with a small giggle. But Adrian somehow didn't believe that was actually true. Not with how happy she got when she talked about him.
"Fair," he said, leaving it at that with a small smile.
But they were both interrupted by the boy that was swaggering his way over to them. "Miss Angelina!" he said, putting up both of hands and waving them. Angelina gaped at him a little bit, but hurried over to Bonnie to hold him up before he fell over.
"Oh dear," she said as she looked at him. "Have you had a little bit to drink?" she asked, even though the answer was obvious.
"Yeah!" he said with a giggle. "It's fun! But not as fun as Odalia! My bestie!"
Adrian raised an eyebrow at that. "You mean… Odessa?" he asked.
"Odessa. Right!" he said with a smile.
"Sorry Adrian, I need to make sure he doesn't wander too far," Angelina said, giving him an apologetic smile. She had a soft look on her face when she looked at him. Like… Mom.
Adrian turned away from them, but he kept that smile on his face. "Of course," he said, brushing away that small pang of pain at seeing that expression turned towards someone else.
"I am cutting you off, young man," Angelina told him, pointing a finger at him. But her tone was teasing. "Come on, we are putting some water in you."
"Oh, you know who's 70 percent water!?" Bonnie asked, hanging onto her arm and almost falling over even though they weren't even moving yet. "Well… All humans, actually. But… Lester!" he said, clapping his hands. "He was my roommate and we dated 'nd stuff, but he's being a big BUTT right now! He also has a big butt."
"Ooookay," Angelina said with a small laugh. But she gave Adrian a look at that. This was preposterous, considering Bonnie was dating that little keyboardist. But that was absolutely not his mess to get involved in. "Come on, water."
"Water rhymes with Lester! Errrrrrrr!" Bonnie said cheerfully, and he did not stop talking the entire time that Angelina helped him to the refreshments table. Adrian watched them for a moment. She didn't have to help him, but she did. It was admirable. But ultimately, he was only happy because he was drunk. And alcohol was nothing to tamper with too much. It, like all happiness, was fleeting at best. And could ultimately lead to destruction. It was like poison. There was no such thing as true, unfiltered euphoria. As much as he admired people like Angelina for searching for it, it would only hurt her more when she realized that all of it was futile.
Just like that, Adrian was once again left alone. But… He had to admit, he was curious about the Ferris wheel. It would be nice to have a little moment of silence. So he started walking that way. He got in the back of the line, behind a little kid that was just talking about how excited they were to get on and see the sights. He noticed Dante cutting to the front of the line a Capitol kid, touting their tribute privilege to all as both of them whooped and cheered. Adrian watched the way that Dante stepped into the pod first and then held a hand down to his new friend, helping him up the step as they both giggled a little bit. He wasn't sure if it was beautiful to enjoy your last night on earth… Or terribly foolish. Getting someone else involved just… Wasn't wise. This wasn't a place to make friends. Hell, this world wasn't a place to make friends. It was cruel.
"Tributes don't have to wait in silly lines, you know?"
Adrian looked over at the young man that was now standing next to him.
Wow, he really did have a big butt.
"I know," Adrian commented, keeping his cool. What did the intern know about him? It seemed that despite being an intern, he had an immense amount of privilege, to have access to an office that wasn't bugged.
"You're one of the twenty-four stars of the night!" he commented, before clearing his throat. "I mean, twenty-three." He took Adrian's hand and started dragging him to the front of the line, crying out, "Make way, tribute coming through, VIP!"
"Hold up!" Adrian said, but it was too late and they were at the front. Adrian just laughed a little bit, shaking his head at this ridiculous man. "Alright, fine," he said.
"May I join you?" Lester asked as the door opened to the pod.
Adrian furrowed his brow, but he had to follow his mentor's advice. Get to know everyone you can… and everything you can from them. "Of course," he said, maintaining that easy smile. "But only if you're not going to spend the whole time complaining about Bonnie."
Lester laughed as he stepped into the pod with Adrian and the doors slid closed and he sighed. "He is being extremely wishy washy and shit, ugh. Wait a minute…" He leaned forward, his anger fading into an excited smile. "How'd you know about that? He tell you?"
"He's on a drunken tirade right now," Adrian said, shaking his head at him. Whatever was going on with those two… It seemed like a damn mess.
"Oh, I want to know everything he said," Lester said, as they felt the pod rising slowly. "But before I demand that you do that for me – with voices…" Adrian raised an eyebrow at him as Lester looked out the window. "I know what you did," he said, looking a little bit nervous as Adrian kept his face a clean mask.
"Oh? And you still wanted to get in a solitary pod with me?" Adrian asked him, more surprised about that than anything.
"I'm a crazy bastard," Lester said with a shrug. "Obviously, I don't know you at all, but… Well, do you think, if you and your family had a better life… Things would have ended differently?"
"Of course it would have," Adrian said. "But such is life."
"Not such as life, Adrian. Don't you ever feel like your District failed you? The people that said they were going to give a better life to District Twelve, and are now saying your home deserves its suffering… Well, did they? You know the answer to that question. I know you do."
Adrian went quiet. He didn't know that Lester was going to continue to carry out interrogations after Junius was finished with his. As much as he didn't care about living anymore… He only wanted to die quickly and quietly. So he didn't dignify him with a response.
Lester stayed perfectly relaxed, but his smile was gone. "As a man that lost his family unwillingly, I don't think I will ever forgive you for what you did to your own. I would trade anything to have my mother back." For the first time, his cool mask broke as Adrian heard the waver in his voice and watched a stray tear roll down his cheek that he quickly wiped away. "But… All I'm saying is… Perhaps there still is something you can do to keep other kids like you from becoming so desperate that they become monsters."
Adrian went quiet at that. He was a monster for what he did, and he knew it. But it was over. And he was going to join his family someday, he was finally going to escape from this hellish life on this stupid planet. That was why he was here. He got up, realizing that they were at the top, to look out among the city, at the tops of the buildings that went on forever, practically, and glowing in the night.
"You're valuable to us, Adrian," Lester said, his voice devoid of all feeling.
Who was us? And what did he mean by this? Adrian turned back towards him, but Lester wasn't looking at him anymore. "Why?" Why was he even here? What did he even want? Who was he even working for? Adrian didn't know.
Lester turned to look back at him, snapping the hair tie on his wrist a couple times before he responded.
"Because you're the only one here that has nothing else to lose."
~.~.
-Ryder Kota, 18, District 2-
Ryder was fully enjoying the experience of the party. They were tipsy, they were dancing, and having fun. Kodi was telling a story as they walked to the bathroom together for what was probably their third tipsy piss. But before they could get to the bathroom, they were approached by the only Victor that Ryder could say they truly despised.
"Chay, what the hell did you do to my son and where is he!?"
Kodiak stared at Parker for a moment before he started to back away. "I don't know dude, just leave me alone man."
Ryder stared at the frown on Kodiak's face and just… Fuck, why did Parker have to come over here on a tirade and ruin the fun they were having? And hurting Kodiak?! No way. After everything they'd done to him, Ryder couldn't control themself. They pulled their fist back and smashed it into Parker's gut, and when he bent over, they took his head and brought it down on their knee. Parker cried out at that and was bleeding a little bit as Ryder pushed Kodiak back a little bit. They were tipsy, but they weren't worried about fighting the Victor, Parker was old news anyways.
"Alright Ryder!" Ryder could hear the voices of both of District Two's mentors cheering them on as Parker lunged for them again, but Ryder was able to move out of the way – they were tipsy but he was old – and got another hit in on him, with a satisfying crack and a sting on their knuckles.
"Nobody hurts my brother and gets away with it!" Ryder shouted, still feeling angry even when Parker was on the ground.
"KO'ED!" Pit cheered. "ALRIGHT!"
Tartarus was with her and cheering just as loud. "WAY TO GO!"
Ryder was going to kick them while they were down, but Kodiak's hand on their shoulder made them look over, slowly snapping out of their rage and looking at the Victor on the ground.
"I would cheer for you, but if I did, I would definitely piss my pants," he said, doing a little bathroom dance and grabbing his crotch. "Let's pee!"
Ryder looked at him, back at Parker, and then at Pit and Tartarus who had arms around each other and were singing Hey Jude at the top of their lungs along with Out of Spite. This… This was hilarious! It was like a real damn bar fight! Ryder laughed a little bit as they put an arm around Kodiak again, shaking out their hands as they walked to the bathroom together – Kodiak making an effort to walk quickly. They both did their business. Kodiak was giving an impromptu bathroom performance of Don't Stop Me Now and pissing like a racehorse while Ryder splashed their face with water. They turned their hands to see the few open spots on their knuckles and started washing them out a little bit. They were coming off of it a little bit. What did they just do?! Ryder didn't like hurting people… But seeing Parker just made them so fucking angry for what he'd put Kodiak through.
"You good?" Kodiak asked, following suit and splashing his face, rubbing it a little bit. "I'm sorry, I got scared."
"Don't apologize," Ryder said, sighing a little bit.
"Well… Thanks," Kodiak said with a small smile. "As a rule, I don't really believe people that say the big L word, even though I want to. But… Well, thanks for standing up for me back there. I really admire you for standing up for the people you love."
Ryder looked over at Kodiak, and then at themself in the mirror. "I… I did, didn't I?" they asked quietly. They'd finally stood up for something. They finally stood up to an adult – a Victor. "All it took was a little bit of alcohol," they teased.
"Oh, come on," Kodiak said quietly. "It wasn't the alcohol. That's… That's just who you are." He put a finger on Ryder's chest. "And I appreciate it. Thank you… Nobody's ever stood up for me like that before…"
Ryder looked over at him for a moment. they certainly didn't see themself that way. They were a coward that wasn't even able to take a stand for their step-sister and step-mother… Every time they were faced with a situation, they took the easy way out. Was it possible that they could really be that brave? Ryder wanted to believe that was true, but… They just didn't know. They didn't know who they were, and they were running out of time to figure it out. "Thank you, Kodiak," they said quietly. "That… Means a lot to me."
Kodi smiled a little bit at them and opened his arms for a hug, which Ryder quickly returned, looking away from their reflection in the mirror. They could stand up for the people they loved. They could be brave.
Their moment was interrupted when the door to the bathroom opened. "Oh, nothing to see here, just a man going to the men's room, and not the women's! Because I not only know the difference, but can use the appropriate one!" Freddy announced. "Oh, hey there! Kodiak, right?"
Kodiak smiled a little bit. "That's me," he said with a smile. "Oh, and this is my bro-I mean, my ally. Ryder."
"Yeah, you're the one that Mari couldn't stop talking about 'cause of that lipstick."
Ryder immediately snapped back to that happy feeling. "What?!" they squeaked a little bit as Freddy dropped his pants.
"Oops," Freddy said. "I said too much already."
Ryder looked over at Kodiak, who slowly broke into a grin.
"You can't tell her I said that!" Freddy said quickly. "She's small but she'll kick my ass!"
"Okay, good talk, see ya later Freddy!" Ryder said quickly, grabbing Kodi's wrist and pulling him out the door as Freddy cried out in despair.
"I knew that lipstick was a good idea!" Kodi squealed a little bit.
"Woah woah woah, this is crazy," Ryder said, shaking their head. "I need some water, I'm sweating, is that silly?"
"No no no, not silly at all, in fact, I'm secondhand panicking for you, dude," Kodi said, walking to the refreshments table. "Or am I excited?! I don't know!"
"I don't know either!" Ryder said. The bassist for One Man Circus said something about them!? About Ryder?! That was crazy. She was so mysterious – but also so cute and she played the violin. What the fuck!? Ryder was experiencing queer panic in its realest form. Why were they such a simp for pretty girls?! "Okay, okay, this doesn't mean anything," they said – to remind Kodiak or remind themself, they didn't know. "It was just a passing comment." They took a sip of water and then held out their glass to Kodi and couldn't help the giggle at the thought of that passing comment. "Kindly flick this on my face."
"Okay!" Kodi said, putting his fingers in Ryder's glass and flicking water on their face.
"IT DIDN'T WORK!" Ryder said, absolutely feeling the heat on their cheeks – whether from being tipsy or flustered, they didn't know.
"Do you want me to pour it?!" Kodi asked.
"No no, hold up, I just need a minute," they said, shaking their head. Did Freddy think Ryder didn't know Mari's special brand of bisexual for males and enbies?! BECAUSE THEY DID KNOW IT, FREDDY! Damn, where could they get a tube of lipstick around here?!
"Holding up," Kodi said, putting up his hands.
"I'm too tipsy for this!" Ryder said, slapping their cheeks a couple times.
"It's fine," Kodi said. "Everything is fine."
But it was soon going to be not fine.
"Kodiak!" The boy looked up at the boy that was calling out his name.
"Lester?" he asked, staring at him for a moment. He pressed closer to Ryder when they both saw that Lester's hair was now put up into space buns. He was wearing freshly applied green lipstick and a damn little crop top with little shorts. He was a damn twink fantasy! He grabbed Ryder's arm and whispered, "Help me."
Ryder just blinked at them both for a moment. "Uuuuuh…"
Lester grinned at him. "I need a hot man to dance with!" Lester said. "C'mon, please?!"
Kodiak looked at Ryder and pointed back at Lester. "Uh…"
"Sorry, he's already going to propose to my step-brother when he wins," Ryder said, grabbing Kodi's arm possessively. "My brother! Find your own!"
Lester raised an eyebrow at that and started laughing. "Oh, come on," he said. "I'm not asking for a summer romance, I just wanna have fun!" he said.
"Oh, I wanna have fun with you," Kodi said quietly.
"Wait!" Ryder protested, but Kodi gave him an apologetic look.
"I'm sorry, I'm weak!" Kodi whined, but he was giggling when Lester took his hand and pulled him away from there. Ryder just watched them go with their jaw dropped a little bit. What just happened?! Did the intern just thirst trap their ally!? What the fuck was up with that!?
Ryder shook their head a little bit and turned around, letting out a little scream at the figure that was right by their face. Ryder reached up and had to rub their eyes to try and figure out if it was real. But no, they weren't wrong. Space buns, red lipstick, crop top, fishnets, and all… It was Mari fuckin Bellevue!
"Hello!" Mari said with a smile.
Ryder stared at her and stammered. "Uh, um, ah…" They slapped their cheek a few times. "Hi…" They winced at how high-pitched their voice was.
"Ryder, right? I'm Mari. It's nice to meet you!" She held out a hand to them. Ryder took another long blink. What the fuck was in that wine!? But she didn't go away so no, somehow this was real. They thrust out their hand to her, and she took it and gave it a kiss, leaving behind a red lipstick mark. Fuck this was real! What the fuck!?
"It's nice to meet you too," Ryder stammered out finally. "Uh… Freddy… Lipstick… Bathroom…"
Mari giggled a little bit at that as she twirled a long curly tendril of hair around her finger. "What?"
Ryder pointed to the bathroom, but they literally couldn't talk. She was so pretty in person! They desperately looked over their shoulder, but Kodi had a twink grinding on him and was obviously not paying attention to them. Fuck! "My… chariot outfit," they finally stammered out.
Mari glanced over her shoulder at where Freddy was showing the girl from Eleven how to play cat's cradle and then back at Ryder.
"Freddy told you what I thought of your chariot outfit? In the bathroom?" she asked.
"Yes!" Ryder said, snapping out of their stupor. "I'm sorry, I'm a little buzzed and still trying to figure out how to talk in front of a pretty celebrity that plays the violin."
"You're doing a great job," she said, putting a hand on their shoulder and patting it a few times. Her gaze went out to the dance floor where Lester was wiggling his butt for Kodiak to spank it and she started to laugh at him.
"Don't ask me," Ryder said. "The intern just came over dressed like a thirst trap and-" they glanced at her. That was… Exactly what she was doing right now!
"Did he?" Mari asked, putting her fingertip in her mouth and nibbling on it. "Huh. That's weird."
Ryder crossed their legs. This was not good. "Uh huh."
Mari grinned at them. Did she know what she was doing?! Maybe she didn't. Maybe Ryder was just crazy and in their own head. What the fuck was going on!?
"Oh, I love this song!" Mari said, and Ryder could not stop staring at how she was shaking her hips. This was… Ridiculous.
Ryder was really glad that they were wearing black pants right now. "Uh, I gotta go," they said. They had to go before anyone noticed how turned on they were right now.
Mari grabbed their hand before they could run away. "Wait!" she said, pulling them back with a surprising amount of strength. "Don't go… I wanna dance with someone! And Freddy's being Freddy, Lizzie's playing watching the concert, and Bonnie is being guarded by Angelina and sobering up. I want a hot piece of eye candy to grind on too!" she whined.
Ryder was a dead man walking. She absolutely did know what she was doing. She always seemed so soft-spoken and shy, how did this happen?!
Mari took them out to the dance floor, high-fiving Lester on the way as Ryder exchanged a panicked expression with Kodi. Who taught her how to move like this?! Ryder wanted to personally thank them. Lester was the first to bolt – holding Kodiak's hand on the way. Mari giggled a little bit as she turned around to be facing to Ryder.
"I know where they're going," she said with a smirk.
Ryder stared at the direction that Lester and Kodi had gone. This was… Sudden. But they were soon not thinking about Kodi and Lester – they were thinking about how good Mari smelled and yes, about her titties. "Where?" They asked.
"Our penthouse is within your boundaries," Mari said with a smile. "I saw him ask Bonnie for his key earlier."
"That was really planned out," Ryder said with a laugh.
"Yeah, it seems that way, doesn't it?" Mari asked, pressing closer to them and letting them feel those titties pressed on them. Oh God. Ryder didn't know how they were going to survive the night. Mari smiled and pulled back. "So? Should we go dunk on those two twinks?" she asked, holding her hand out to them.
Ryder gaped at her. "You… You want to…" they stammered. "Dunk on them… Me?!"
Mari winked at them as she took their hand. "Let's go!" she said with a giggle. Ryder had no idea where this was coming from but they were not thinking with their brain right now. They followed her, picking up the pace to be in line with her as she took them to the well-lit penthouse. It was gorgeous, and Mari wasted no time getting them inside. They passed a closed door on the way and Ryder put a hand on their chest to try and control their heartbeat. Fuck.
Mari pressed them on the wall outside of her door. "Sorry this had to be so sudden," she said, pulling them down a little bit to start kissing their neck.
"What?" Ryder asked, way too distracted by the feeling of those soft lips on their neck.
Mari nibbled on their ear a little bit. "Our penthouse is the only place that I know for sure isn't bugged. Well, it is… Visually, but no audio," Mari said, shaking her head.
"What?!" Ryder asked, blinking at her.
"Touch me like you want me!" Mari said, taking their hands and putting them on her back.
"I'm so confused," Ryder said, their face absolutely burning.
"Pick me up and carry me in," Mari instructed, jumping up into their arms. Ryder's mind was absolute mush with her so close to them. They carried her into her bedroom. It smelled so good, just like her. They closed the door. Mari kept on putting kisses by their ear and Ryder bit their lip. "I'm one of the people you can trust," Mari said into their ear, taking a moment to slowly trace their ear with her tongue. "I'm with Wolf and the rebels. I got some intel on you, Ryder. I apologize that this is the only way I can know we're secure. But if they do peep we have to act the part, so… Kiss me like you mean it!"
Ryder stared at her for a moment, blinking in surprise. But they were not going to be told twice, climbing on top of her and kissing her, which was quickly and sloppily returned. Ryder pulled back and started kissing her neck a little bit. "I had no idea you were in with them," they said. "Lester too?"
"Yeah," Mari said with a small laugh at the feeling of them kissing her neck. "Undress me!"
Ryder nipped at her ear. "I am so sorry that I cannot control what happens down there." But they did as she said, reaching down and pulling off her shirt to reveal a little black lacey bra underneath. Fuck.
Mari giggled a little bit. "It's okay." She put up her leg to rub it against them and made a little surprised noise as she giggled. "I'm sorry I dragged you over here. But we can just do a little of this to make it convincing and then turn out the lights while I give you the intel you're gonna need for tomorrow…"
Ryder was absolutely sweating, but they tried to keep it cool. "Uuuuh…" they said, staring at her. "I'm sorry, you are literally so beautiful." They were only heating up more when she took their shirt off and started feeling up their chest with her soft hands.
Mari giggled a little bit at that. "Thank you," she said, looking away from them. "It's been a while since I've felt beautiful like this…"
Ryder's face got hot when she pushed it into her chest to get them to start kissing her breasts. Oh God they were so weak. "Well, I think you're absolutely gorgeous and I feel honored to even have fake sex with you for the cause."
Mari giggled a little bit, biting her lip and grinning up at Ryder. "Oooor…" she rolled over and held up a box of condoms, tapping her fingers on it a couple times. "We really make it convincing and have some seriously dangerous pillow talk?"
Ryder stared at her for a second. They couldn't believe this was really happening to them. "Oh, fuck yeah!" They couldn't have said yes faster.
Mari giggled at that and fluttered her feet a little in excitement. "Okay!" she said with a giddy laugh. Ryder just couldn't help but grin at how cute and excited she looked.
But, damn… What the fuck was their family going to say about this!?
~.~.
-Alvis Shirogane, 18, District 3-
It was so weird, acting like he had just met Red for the first time. Red had been his friend for so long and was practically like his older brother. But now it was like they were practically strangers. But at least he had Crimson here… One person that he knew would always have his back one way or the other. The others, well, Jun couldn't trust a single one of them. Not with his true identity. All of this was such a clever little front, and for what end?
He knew exactly what end he was fighting for. He was fighting for the end to his pain and torment, and guilt. Whatever end brought about that for him would be the one that Jun pursued. That was his only goal, and to get there, he was going to do whatever he could to help the ones that he needed to repay before he went out. It wasn't easy to sell out Robin – they really were a little sweetheart – but this was much bigger than just one person. Ugh, the good of many, of course. That was why he was a Capitol agent.
But he was a double agent for the good of Jun Kozart. Not for anyone else. Alvis was kind, good, and charming, only for Jun's own self gain. He would serve others, if that was what cleared his name and saved him from his constant suffering, caused by the suffering that he brought upon others. Or the suffering that he witnessed from behind a damn screen, because he was a fucking coward.
The Games had to end. He couldn't watch one more person suffer like he suffered. To get so far in an Arena where nothing at all was guaranteed, just to die in second. It didn't matter that Ceru was holding him, did it, he still died! And Jun wanted to die too. …He wanted to die for something, right? He wanted to take the ultimate step and die for something. That was why he was here, of course. And he was going to play the double agent as long as he could before he got caught and executed for Wolf's cause.
That was what he kept telling himself.
"Alvis! Is that it?" He had to resist rolling his eyes at Red approaching him, but he perked up right away when he saw the other guy on Red's arm. He was immediately on high alert as he stared at the man, with red hair and cosmetically-altered ears that were pointy. He did not trust this man at all. He kept his face a clean slate.
"Crimson, so good to see you again. Have you been enjoying the party?" What are we doing to this guy?
"I absolutely have!" Crimson said, putting his arm around the other guy and pulling him in.
Jun was absolutely judging him. But Alvis would never judge someone he just met, so he kept his expression cool except for a slight raise of the eyebrow. "And… Who is your… New acquaintance?"
"Oh, this is Andrew Bunsen, the ward to a very influential family here in the Capitol," Crimson said. "Andy, this is Alvis Shirogane of District Three."
"So, you want to be a doctor?" Andy asked, sticking his hand out for Alvis to shake, which he did, maintaining that smile.
"Oh, yes, Sir," he said. What the fuck was Crim trying to do for him here?
"Me too," he said with a kind smile. "Well, I'm on my way to it, and funded by my patrons. I'm an aspiring neurologist!"
Alvis perked up a little bit. "Oh, I see. Very interesting! So, uh, Crimson… You really don't have to help me with sponsors," he said. "But… I appreciate it."
Crimson looked at him and then laughed. "Oh, no, I just wanted you to meet my date tonight." He bounced his eyebrows.
"Your what?!" Jun burst before he could stop himself, but quickly put a smile back on. "Ahem, that's, uh, exciting."
"It sure is!" Andy said, grinning over at Crim. "And I am having a ton of fun tonight!"
"Me too! This music is great!" Crimson said, grinning over at the other man. "Hey, can you go grab some punch for us?"
"Spiked or not spiked?" Andy asked, before he laughed. "Just kidding, I'm a total lightweight. Apparently, it's in the family. Poor Bonnie."
"Oh, poor Bonnie," Alvis said, keeping a sympathetic expression. Yeah, poor Bonnie, the little snake that was dating Hosanna to try and prove that she was Tessa. He was such a fucking nut. But the problem was that he was a dangerous nut. The most dangerous nut on his radar yet. And if Andrew was related to him, that made Jun suspicious of him right away. As soon as Andy left, Alvis smiled and came in for a hug. But when Red returned the hug, Jun squeezed him tightly and whispered in his ear.
"What the hell are you doing?" he asked him.
"Bro, I'm having fun," Crimson said with a laugh. "Look at that butt."
"I don't want to look at his butt, he's an elf!" Jun snapped at him. "You realize he's an elf don't you?"
Crimson laughed at him and shrugged. "Yeah, and I sometimes grow out my goatee, we all have our little things. Come on, dude, he's an elf with a six pack and a nice ass. You need to live a little bit."
"I will do no such thing!" Jun said in his ear. "And I'm absolutely judging you for this."
Crimson let go of him and shrugged, patting his arm a couple times. "I'm just saying. Maybe you need to let go of the past and live a little here. Now."
"One cup of punch for the cutie with the blue eyes!" Andy announced, coming back with two cups of punch.
"Why thank you," Crimson said.
"Well, I'll see you two nice gentlemen later," Alvis said with a polite smile, walking away from them and watching how Crimson was putting himself closer to Andy. It was easy for Crimson to tell him to lighten up. He didn't understand. He didn't know the pain of knowing that he'd loved someone for so long and then losing them without even doing anything about it. He could still see those blue eyes in his memory, meeting him in that limo that night. He could still taste the envelope under his tongue for every portion of his paycheck that he sent to the Ace in the Hole to be gifted to him. He could still feel the pain in his arm, the sting of the words that he carved there that night.
Memento Mori.
He was gone. Jun had to watch him go and know that even though he knew so much about Owen through his research into his history and prove that the rebel organization the Ace of Spades could have been in their present. But it didn't work, he didn't get any evidence, and worse… He let Owen go without telling him how he felt about him. But how could he have, knowing everything about Owen when Owen didn't even know him at all? He would have loved knowing that Jun had basically stalked him – in the name of research – and then fallen in love… But it didn't matter what he would have thought, Jun couldn't watch anyone else suffer a fate like this at the hands of oppression.
Owen was innocent.
Jun was not.
That was why he had to buck up like Ryder was and be ready to die for this.
But was he really ready to die?
Of course. He had to.
Red knew that he cared about Owen, but he didn't know how much, he didn't know how deep that ran. Without Owen, Jun had nothing left. He was hopeless. He was hopeless enough to do whatever he could to make things right. It was the only thing he was holding onto.
"Mr. Shirogane!" Jun was brought out of his thoughts by the high-pitched voice he hadn't stopped hearing that night. Alvis cleared his throat at those green eyes that were right in his face. It was her again.
"Lizzie," he said. "What's up? Not getting into too much trouble, are you?"
Lizzie giggled a little bit. "No!" she said. "But I'm here for you! I'm trying to get a group together to play mini golf, do you want to join?"
Alvis smiled a little bit. He couldn't show how he was dying inside, drowning in the debt he owed to Owen after letting him down that way. "Wouldn't you rather play with Cadmus?" he asked, trying to look for the District Nine tribute. He had nothing against Cadmus as a person – he was a strategic player of the game. But… He couldn't just let him use Lizzie as a strategy. Not knowing what Jun knew about her. He couldn't walk away from her. He wouldn't have been able to forgive himself.
Lizzie smiled a little bit. "Oh, he was nice," she said with a laugh. "But, well… Being one-on-one with strangers sometimes freaks me out. So I was glad that you were there!" she smiled at him and was wringing her hands together a little bit, obviously nervous. "Thanks for bailing me out… Nothing against Cadmus, I just… My past, yeah, I was glad to have someone else there that I knew a little better."
Oh, how she was quick to trust. They barely knew each other – sharing a table at the banquet and one ride in the limo was enough for her to trust him, believe that he truly had her best interests in mind. She was so foolish. But there was something in him that reminded Jun of Owen, something about the way that she carried herself. Was that why he was so hellbent on protecting her? He didn't know. She was friendly, sure, sweet, yeah, but… No, Jun couldn't do this to himself again. He couldn't let down someone else. "No problem," he said. "I could see you were a little tense."
"I was more than a little tense," Lizzie said with a giggle. "I do want to go have a real conversation with Cadmus, but I'll wait until Out of Spite is off the stage so they can come with me."
"I'm sure he'll appreciate that," Alvis commented.
"Oh, uh, mini golf!" she said, giggling a little bit and shaking her head a bit. "So? Will you do nine holes?"
Jun looked at her hopeful little face, past her to where Crimson and Andy were absorbed into the crowd, dancing together and singing. And… For just a moment, the smile on she gave him…. It made him feel like he wasn't a total failure… Even if he was. He kept the act up as Alvis, giving her a smile and nod. "Sure." He had to stay in character. That was all.
Lizzie squealed and clapped her hands. "Come on!" she said, taking his hand and dragging him over to the green. Red caught his eye from the crowd and cheered at that, while Alvis shook his head at him being ridiculous.
"Oh, Alvis!" Vyka smiled and waved at him from where she was waiting in line with Antonio. "Hey!"
"Hey girlie," he said, reaching down to ruffle her hair. "Sup?"
"Livin' it up, not much else," Vyka said, shrugging a little. "Right Tony?"
"I'm here against my will," Antonio said, shaking his head a little bit.
"Cool," Alvis said, looking around and then at Lizzie. "Uh… You said a group?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.
"Yeah, I thought they'd be here," Lizzie said. "I'm giving them five more minutes."
"I would say I have all night, but I'm only allowed out til midnight," Alvis said, smiling at her. "Just don't expect me to leave any glass slippers behind."
"You don't have to do that, I like you just how you are," Lizzie said, smiling over at him.
Jun balled his fists tightly as blush broke out across his face. That was very sweet of her to say that, but… She did not understand that this really wasn't who Jun was. But… Lizzie's weird trust and infatuation to him could come in handy later, so he was just… Going to let it happen, he supposed.
"Oh, Al, you're blushing!" Vyka said, turning around and pointing at him with her club.
"Don't call me Al," he said, shaking his head at her. "Seriously, I hate Al."
"Alright, alright," Vyka said with a small laugh. "Aaaaalvis." She clicked her tongue and shook her head at him. "Oh, it's almost our turn! I'm so excited to golf! My boyfriend, the one that has cancer, he always wanted to take me mini-golfing. I'm glad that you can do it for me in his absence. He would be happy too. You remind me of him, Antonio."
Antonio just gave her a look, but when Vyka elbowed him, he stammered. "O-Oh, yeah, sure," he said quickly. "Totally."
Alvis was going to laugh at their antics, but when he looked over at Lizzie, she had a hand over her heart at the two of them. "That's so sweet," she said. Jun could not believe that she actually bought this bullshit. But she obviously was a romantic with such a soft heart. After all, she put aside her distrust of strangers for Alvis – a strange man. She obviously wanted to stay strong on her disdain for others, but didn't really believe it was true. What a pure soul, far too pure for this world. She had been hurt by the world, but she kept going anyways. He had no idea how she could possibly have suffered how she did and still be so bubbly and flirty.
"Oh, it's just heartwarming," he said, shaking his head and really trying to hide his sarcasm behind a fake layer of sincerity.
Lizzie smiled as she watched Vyka and Antonio take their turn, and perked up when she heard a voice call out, "Yoooooo!"
"There he is! I thought you weren't ever going to show up!" Lizzie said, running over to noogie his head. "Oh, and who's this, Fredward?" she asked, poking his side. Freddy laughed and pushed her away.
"This is Vasilisa," he said. "Vasilisa, this is Lizzie. And…" He raised his eyebrows in surprise.
"Alvis," Lizzie said, coming back over to put her arm around his shoulders. She smelled… Nice. Really nice. Damn.
"Good to see you," he said to Vasilisa. "And best of luck to you." Prepare to taste defeat.
"You too!" Vasilisa said, picking the shortest club – maybe because it was pink – even if it was too small for her. Freddy followed suit and chose the exact same size as her, even though it was way too short for him as well. Lizzie just shrugged and picked one that was more appropriate for her height. If it were up to Jun, he would try every damn club before choosing. But Alvis didn't care about winning or losing, if he had fun, so he just decided on one up from Lizzie's before they all chose balls.
"Freddy, you can't also choose pink!" Lizzie scolded him. "Otherwise how will you tell your ball apart from Vasilisa's?"
The tribute in question just giggled at how Freddy pouted and got a red ball instead. Lizzie smiled as she chose hers and Alvis followed her. Alvis simply stayed quiet and observed Freddy and Vasilisa in their natural habit – intrigued by how quickly the Capitolite changed her tune from Oliver to Freddy. And also wondering what the fuck was wrong with her.
The game of mini golf actually went by pretty quickly. Lizzie and Freddy taunted each other, but she was so much better at it than he was, and Vasilisa may have been good, but she kept having to lean down since her club was too short and beckoning Freddy over to show her how to hit it while wiggling her ass. It was… Hard for Jun to watch, even if Alvis kicked all their asses. Giz and Cethleann would be proud of him now. He always had to work to defeat his cousins at mini golf, but with these three, it wasn't even a little bit of a challenge.
"Good game!" Freddy said when they were done, as Vasilisa pushed her way back under his arm and he pulled her closer.
"That was fun," she said with a grin. "Thanks for your help."
"Oh, of course!" Freddy said, bouncing his eyebrows.
"You're so good at that!" Lizzie said. "You're a natural!"
"Oh, I wouldn't go that far," Alvis commented humbly, swatting his hand in the air. And when he looked up, Freddy and Vasilisa were already gone.
Lizzie huffed in offense. "Bye then," she said sarcastically. Alvis smiled, but the slight vibration in his lower back made him alert right away.
"I'm sorry, but I must also be going," he said, taking her hand and kissing it a little bit. "But thank you for the fun, little miss."
Lizzie giggled and blushed at that, clasping her hands together. "Okay, see you around!" she said with a smile. "Thanks again for the game."
Alvis winked. "It was my pleasure." It would be a damn pleasure if he could get his heart to stop racing. This was something the extroverted Alvis did all the time, but not nerdy, lanky Jun. But she was just a girl. A pretty girl, but just a girl. A sweet girl, but a girl that didn't understand who he was at all and wasn't a single bit like him. But… She was a really pretty girl.
No matter.
He had to be at Wolf's beck and call right now. He had to work to put an end to the thing that took Owen, the event that he now despised.
Anything, including dying for his cause, anything to rescue Jun from his self-hatred. It had to come from this, this was the only possible way for Jun to repay his debt. He turned away from Lizzie, his heart sinking a little bit as he was focusing on business once again. He couldn't be focused on her, or anyone else except for saving himself. That was what he was going to do.
He was going to save himself from his guilt by becoming a martyr. He felt suffocated, he felt like he was once again there, in this very place, at this very time a year before, wearing that mask, hiding his face from the world. A mask that none had yet seen through, including Wolf. Everyone knew exactly who he was, but nobody knew that it was the man that stood in front of them, the man with the blood of the innocent on his hands, one that was kept awake at night by the sound of that gunshot just as often as Wolf, Kat, and the rest of Upward Voyager.
Jun was following orders. But it was too late to change the past.
And it was only appropriate for him to become a martyr after he created one.
~.~.
A/N: After radio silence, I wrote this chapter in two days. I want to push out the night before ASAP and have a stockpile so when I put out that chapter I will try to set a date for the Bloodbath. I would like to have it done by the end of August because I personally go back to school then and I'm sure many of the readers do as well. That's the general timeline but that will get more specific as we approach the end of the month.
Also a note, due to the nature of this subplot (and of the Games obviously), characters are soon going to start dying. I know that some of my readers prefer a headsup about character deaths so if you have any characters that you would like a heads-up about for mental health or story enjoyment reasons, please send me a DM on Discord or a PM on Fanfiction with that list. I won't be contacting people one-on-one for this so if you would like that prior notification, just contact me with the characters (including tributes, mentors, escorts, bands, and my other Capitolites) and I'll be sure to let you know if (or when) their time of reckoning is coming.
Hope you enjoyed this, I know it's very long but I was fully expecting it.
CQ: Favorite part of the party? Any early Victor picks?
See you soon for the next chapter!
Next chapter: An execution… Or two. Or three.