-Vasilisa Castle, 17, District 11 Female-
"We're going to keep you safe."
That was what they kept telling her. But Vasilisa didn't feel safe. Not at all. They didn't keep Dante safe! He could have been saved if someone had just realized what happened and gotten him help! But instead, they pulled her away and he… He died alone.
Every time she closed her eyes, she saw his bloody body. She could hear his choked gasps as he tried to say something to her, tried to have some last words, and he was robbed of it. He died alone. Rose told her to leave him, how could she say that?!
She was taken back to that day her mother died. She remembered the shock when they told her about what happened. She remembered the denial, disbelief, that this could have possibly happened to someone that she loved so much… And of course, how many times she asked Daddy why he didn't pay for the best medical care for her… But now, she knew that he did. It wasn't enough. Having money, having fame even… It wasn't enough to save the people she loved.
And what was Vasilisa without the constant gifts, without all her stuff, all her merch, all the opportunities she could buy for herself and her friends?
She had no fucking idea.
But whoever it was, she wasn't enough to save Dante. The first real friend she'd made since her mother died. Every time she thought about his smiling face, more pained sobs pushed out of her, painful screams that fell on deaf ears and meant absolutely nothing to them. They didn't mean anything to these guards. They didn't mean anything to Rose either. He didn't mean anything to them. But he meant so much to Vasilisa. How could they do this? Why was it him? Why couldn't it have been Ryder, Kodiak, or Alvis? They were the ones that were actually doing something.
Why couldn't it have been Rose?
Vasilisa cried out a little bit. She didn't want to own that thought, it was a horrible one, but… Dante did nothing wrong.
She let her body go limp. It wasn't worth fighting them anymore, she wasn't going to make any progress. And she was so fucking exhausted from fighting and crying and screaming, her voice was fucking raw. She didn't fight against them anymore. There was just no use. There was no use fighting her mom's death either. Lightning really did strike twice.
"Apologies that it had to happen this way," one of the guards told her. "We are here to keep you safe."
She heard a beep and looked up when she was brought into a building that looked a little bit like the Tribute complex. The badge was scanned again and an elevator opened up, which they carried Lis inside. She put her head down as she felt the elevator go up, and stop. She wanted to ask them why they had to shoot Dante like that. But she held her tongue. Resigned to her fate.
Vasilisa stepped out into a comfortable-looking lobby, the smell of coffee filling her nose.
"This is where you'll be staying, Ms. Castle," one of the guards said. But it sounded like he was talking to her while she was underwater. "This is a heavily-protected facility. You will be safe here."
They released her, and Vasilisa looked back at them, and towards the hallway with a few different doors. "What about the others?"
"They aren't one of us," one of the guards said. "Don't worry, those two won't be causing anyone harm anymore."
Vasilisa frowned a little at that. She didn't know which two were also taken like her. But… She didn't want to be alone here… Not after everything she'd witnessed… She put her head down as the guards walked back towards the elevator.
"You are under the protection of the Capitol now. There's no need to be afraid anymore."
Vasilisa watched the doors closed. That was such… Bullshit! She was terrified. She was terrified that other innocents were going to die, just like Dante. They were so full of bullshit. She wiped tears out of her eyes when the guards were gone, looking at the elevator and the keypad, which was now glowing red signaling that she wasn't allowed on it. This didn't feel like protection at all!
But all of her thoughts were cut off when she heard his voice.
"Vasilisa?!"
Vasilisa whipped around at that, and when she saw Freddy there, she ran over to him, a pained sob escaping her as she collapsed into his arms, squeezing the tears out and pressing her face to his chest. All of those feelings that she had been trying to hold back fell out of her like waves overcoming a dam feeling his arms around her and feeling the warmth of his body. She grabbed tight handfuls of the back of his shirt and squeezed them as more sobs fell out of her lips, some of them more akin to small screams. She didn't know how long he held her there, but he was so patient and didn't even talk. He didn't need to.
After a while, Vasilisa sniffled and dabbed at her eyes with the bottom of Freddy's shirt. The top of it was absolutely drenched in tears and snot. "I'm so happy you're here," she said quietly, her voice barely coming out as it was raw as she hugged him again.
"What are you doing here?!" he asked her, grabbing her cheeks to look at her face and try to wipe away tears that were quickly replaced, even as she'd quieted down a little.
"Didn't you see?" she asked quietly, looking over at the TV.
"It only plays stupid cartoons," Freddy said quietly. She could hear his heartbeat speed up a little bit. "I… I'm so confused. You're supposed to be in the Arena!" He hugged her tighter.
"They-they blew up the Arena," she said, whimpering a little bit. "Tributes scattered everywhere, I was brought here, a-and… They shot Dante!" she cried out, wiping at her eyes again.
Freddy frowned at that, but he didn't say anything. He just held her. "I'm so sorry," he whispered.
Vasilisa just clutched onto him so tightly. She was just… So damn glad he was here… She needed someone. She needed him. "I couldn't save him."
"I know how you feel," he said quietly, closing his eyes. "I couldn't save my girls, either."
Vasilisa frowned at him, but that reminded her. "Mari… Mari, she was there."
"She was what?!" Freddy asked, his brows furrowing.
"She was with the rebels. Her and Rose." Speaking her escorts name brought a bad taste to Vasilisa's mouth right now. She couldn't believe that Rose would just try to get her to leave him like that…
"Mari!? With the rebels!?" Freddy closed his eyes and shook his head. "I had no idea…"
"Yeah, me neither," she said quietly, closing her eyes and sniffling a little bit. "I'm so sorry," she said, looking at his white shirt that was now see-through on his chest because it was so soaked.
"It's okay," he said with a smile. "There are so many changes of clothes in my closet, I'll find something else to wear. But not right now. I don't want to leave your side right now."
Vasilisa sobbed a little at that. "Please don't!"
Freddy gently rubbed her back. "I won't." He only got up to pour himself a cup of coffee, and poured one for her too while she stayed glued to his side. She only let go of his shirt to put some cream and sugar in her coffee, in silence until he spoke again. "This place… It's not so bad," he said quietly as he stirred around his coffee. "We can order any food we want, Avoxes are here to clean, and basically whatever we want we just have to ask."
"Except to leave."
Freddy just sighed a little bit, but he nodded. "Yup. Except to leave."
Vasilisa sighed quietly and nodded. She took a drink of her coffee and sighed a little bit at how nice the warmth of it felt on her aching vocal cords. At least they were going to keep her and Freddy safe here. "Is Lizzie here too?" she asked. "What about the rest of Out of Spite?"
"Haven't heard from Out of Spite since the party," Freddy said with a shrug. "Lizzie… She got scared when the guards tried to manhandle her, and… She ran." He sighed quietly. "They promised they'd update me when they found her, but nobody's had any luck apparently."
"Oh," Lis said. "It was scary," she said, another tear threatening to break out of her eye that Freddy reached up to gently wipe away with his knuckle.
"Yeah," he said quietly. "But I trust that this is best for us."
"Well…" she tried a small smile, but it just felt so impossible right now. "If you do, then… That's enough for me."
Freddy took a sip of his coffee and sat at the small kitchen table, Lis sinking in a seat next to him and still holding onto him.
They both looked up when the elevator doors slid open. Vasilisa was surprised, but Freddy didn't look it at all, at the boy who put a card in the pocket of his jacket and approached them. He had a red scabbed spot by his nose, and looked gaunt despite keeping his composure as he came in and sat across from them.
"Good afternoon," he said.
"There you are, Bons," Freddy said, trying a smile as he punched his arm gently. But Vasilisa noticed how Bonnie flinched away from his fist, and frowned.
"Bonnie… Are you okay?" she asked. She remembered that he acted flighty when they went to primary school together, but not even then was he this flighty…
"Of course," he said, his tone cold and dismissive towards her before he sighed a little bit. "Look, we're just trying to keep everyone safe. The rebels are dangerous and they don't care about either of your lives, they only care about what will drive their cause forward and make more people angry."
Vasilisa sniffled a little bit. Was it really true that Rose didn't care about her life at all? She certainly didn't care about Dante's…
"Is it true, Bonnie? Is Mari one of them?" he asked.
Bonnie just frowned a little bit at that. "It… Yes. It's true," he said quietly. "The rebels, they did a lot of damage today. They sent out Numitor – one of their own – to bomb the Gamemaking Complex. So many lives were lost." He closed his eyes. "People that were just doing their jobs." He sighed a little bit. "They sent Jansing to kill the Commander, and they succeeded. Blood from someone else was found in the office, the guards were dead but the DNA points to the Mitchell girl. There were at least six dead guards in there, the Head Gamemaker is nowhere to be found. It's a dark, dark day for the Capitol."
Vasilisa could feel the frown spreading across her face at this. "Rose was part of all of this?"
"Not just Rose, all of them. I was right, dammit, I was so right." He groaned and shook his head. "If only I had brought my findings to the Commander sooner. Then they wouldn't have started riots in District Three and District Seven."
"Riots?!" Freddy asked, his eyes widening.
"Again, death. Civilian and Peacekeeper alike." Bonnie shook his head. "Fuck. All of them, tributes that were supposed to be dead. I fucking knew it. I can't believe I didn't tell anyone earlier. Maybe if I had… I could have prevented all those people from dying… Safe to say, Montessori and I are broken up."
"Dead tributes?!" Freddy asked. "Out of Spite was a bunch of zombies this whole time and we didn't even know!?"
"I KNEW!" Bonnie shouted at him, and Freddy fell back a little bit, his jaw opening a little bit and looking hurt. Vasilisa grabbed his arm and hugged it tightly. Bonnie took a breath. "I'm sorry, Freddy," he said, casting his eyes down as his glasses misted. "Yes. I had my suspicions. I wanted to help by passing them on, but… Everyone fucking laughed at me. So I didn't. What a stupid reason. I could have saved so many people… The Commander. Your friend." He pointed to Vasilisa, who was silent at this. "Maybe Numitor could have seen some justice for his actions instead of taking the easy way out."
"What's going to happen without the head commander?" Vasilisa asked him quietly, still trying to process all of this.
"Control will be taken again by an ally and a friend of the Commander. For now, each District is enforcing the law there and protecting the innocents. That's what all this is about, protecting the innocents."
"Lizzie?" Freddy asked.
Bonnie quickly put up his hand to cover his nose, staring at him with wide eyes before he slowly put his hand down when Freddy didn't move. "Nothing yet."
"I figured as much," Freddy said quietly.
Bonnie looked between the two of them, his eyes settling on where they were holding onto each other. "I'm not just here to get you up to date. We need your help."
Vasilisa frowned a little bit at that. "Us?" she asked, pointing between her and Freddy.
"Yes, Vasilisa, you," Bonnie said quietly, not looking at either of them. "People are getting unruly. They don't understand the cost of the change they so desperately crave. Their brains have been infected by rebel propaganda that tells them that the lives of the people they love are worth sacrificing for a cause that quite frankly, will only bring about more disorder. They need a wake-up call. From faces that they know and love. The faces of children that were born among them, and the one that volunteered for the Games everyone else so vehemently despises. Just… Look at you two. The Games brought you together. It's a beautiful story."
It… Didn't feel like a beautiful story. Not when the Games made her lose her friend. She needed Freddy to be there, but she wished their story didn't have to start like this. "Isn't that stooping down to their level?" Vasilisa asked. "It's just counter-propaganda."
"Please," Bonnie said desperately, clasping his hands together and nervously looking at the elevator before leaning towards them. "We need you. You don't have to answer me right now, but please consider it. Please." He leaned towards them. "I really don't want you to get hurt."
"What does that mean?" Freddy asked, but Bonnie shook his head at him.
"Consider it," he told them quickly. He got up, pulling his card from his pocket again and quickly going to the elevator, scanning it and leaving them again.
Freddy quietly took a sip of his coffee, looking at Vasilisa. But… Something just wasn't adding up here. After everything Rose had done for her… How could she be evil? If it was true, and Rose was a tribute too… How could she value lives so little? That just… That didn't sound right, not at all. But she also believed Bonnie – many innocent people died today because of the actions of Out of Spite and the rebels. Hell, she'd seen it right in front of her own eyes.
But then… Why did Bonnie say he didn't want them to get hurt? They were here for protection. Something just… Didn't add up. She put her hand up to her face and rubbed her nose, where she saw the scab on Bonnie. What was he trying to tell them? And… How did he get hurt? His mother wasn't there to do that to him anymore. She wanted to trust Bonnie after growing up with him.
But people changed.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Freddy asked, obviously still looking conflicted.
"No," she said quickly. "Not right now." She didn't even know what to think about any of this. Here she was, accepting her own death, and now she was here…
"Okay, then we won't," Freddy said. He finished his coffee and held up a string that had been tied to itself so it was a circle. He looped it through his fingers and showed it to her. Cat's cradle. "Let's just sit and play cat's cradle and watch stupid cartoons. First person that passes out gets a dick drawn on her face."
Vasilisa giggled a little bit at that, but that was what she needed. Something mindless as she tried to think through everything that happened today. "What's this her business?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow up at him and smiling at the sound of his laugh. "First person to pass out will get a big hairy dick drawn on his face."
"As if," Freddy said, but he smiled a little bit at her, though his eyes were so heavy and sad.
Vasilisa could feel the same. The smile was there, but it wasn't real. Her heart was way too heavy for that… Not to mention her father. Where was he when the Complex was bombed? Was he okay?! She hoped that he was just staying at home… But even then… What would she be if something happened to him?! She just took a deep breath. One thing, one step, one day, one pinch and pull of cat's cradle at a time. Focus on the face in front of her, just to try and make the pain go away for a short second…
"I'm glad you're here with me, Bathroom Boy." She pinched the X shapes and pulled them around, offering it to Freddy.
Freddy smiled as he pulled the X shapes again and showed her Jacob's ladder.
"Me too, Croissant Girl."
~.~.
-Kaoru Morikawa, 16, District 5-
They didn't stop until they were sure they were fully hidden. Along the way, Kaoru's head hung a little bit. He could hear Vyka and Ruthie talking, but he couldn't register exactly what they were saying.
"Kaoru!" his head shot up when he heard Ruthie shout his name. "Stay awake." Her tone had a scolding edge to it. Kaoru closed his eyes. He really didn't want to be awake right now. Every step brought pain with it and he was feeling light-headed. Each step was a fucking nightmare, because it meant that he was stepping on his bad leg – or that the next step would be on his bad leg. Even with Keelan supporting him, he was in pain unlike he'd ever felt in his life.
"I can't," he gasped out quickly. They hadn't been walking for very long. "I can't, we have to stop."
Ruthie looked around nervously, but at the look on his face, she nodded. "Okay," she said quietly.
"Just a few more steps this way," Keelan said, pointing to a clearing in the woods. "Then we can get you all patched up."
Kaoru winced. He didn't feel like he could take a few more steps. Not after what happened. But he had to, so his brows set in determination. "Okay," he said, but he couldn't help crying out in determination and pain with the last few steps that brought them to the small little pocket on the forest floor. "Shit," he said, as tears sprung to his eyes. It felt like his damn foot was going to fall off, and it was very possible that it could at this point. He was lowered down by Keelan, with Ruthie trying to help on his other side despite her size while Vyka stood there and watched them silently.
"There ya go, big guy, nice and easy," Keelan said, lowering him to the ground. He pat Kaoru's back a few times once he was down, but it didn't mean anything to Kaoru. He stared down at his ankle, letting out a sob when he saw the blood trail he left in his wake.
"Is his foot gonna be okay?" Ruthie asked quietly, as Keelan threw open the backpack he got and started rooting through the contents. "What can I do? I want to help!"
Keelan slapped down a first aid kit as Kaoru just stared at her. "You take Vyka and start looking for water. But don't go too far, I don't want you two to get lost."
Vyka looked a little bit unsure at that. "Are you sure?"
"Just scale the perimeter," Keelan told them.
"I want to stay here," Ruthie said, sinking down to take Kaoru's hand. But Kaoru couldn't even look at her, now that the adrenaline of what happened was fading. He pulled his hand away from hers, crying out at the pain that shot up his entire damn leg at the action. He could see the hurt come across her expression at that, but… He just couldn't think about her right now.
"Go, with her," he told her. "Climb a tree. Try to figure out where we are. Surely there's a District somewhere that will give us help."
"I don't know if we want help from them," Keelan confessed quietly as he put a water bottle to Kaoru's lips for him to drink. "I mean, this is crazy! Who the fuck are we even supposed to trust?!"
"I don't know," Vyka said quietly, obviously wondering the same thing. She looked at Kaoru and quickly wiped away her tears. "Let's go," she told Ruthie. "Buddy system."
Ruthie's voice was laced with hurt when she turned back to Kaoru. "Okay," she said quietly. "Fine. I'll go."
"I'm sorry, Ruthie," Kaoru said, feeling the sweat and tears dripping down his face and trying to keep his voice from sounding too strained. "It's for your own good." She didn't have to see him like this. And… He didn't want to see her.
"I know you want to help, kid. But… You're not gonna want to watch this," Keelan told her, taking off his shirt and rolling it up, pulling it into Kaoru's mouth. Kaoru tried to cough a little bit at the dry shirt invading his newly wet mouth, but he tried to hide his pain from them. Ruthie looked terrified at that – and as much as it broke Kaoru's heart, she quickly turned around, holding Vyka's hand and leaving the area, just enough to climb a tree. And to not hear Kaoru's muffled screams. She didn't need to hear those right now.
Kaoru finally let the tears flow once he was sure the girls were gone. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to think about them out there by themselves. This wasn't an Arena… Which was comforting because they didn't have to hurt each other. But also… So much less predictable.
"This is gonna hurt," Keelan said, staring at the wound on his ankle. "I was trained to deal with wounds like this, so you're in good hands. I don't know what the fuck just happened but right now, we're allies, so I'm going to do my best. But…" he sighed. "Well, gunshot wounds weren't really in the curriculum, so… I'm so sorry if I can't save your foot."
Kaoru squeezed his eyes shut again, and just nodded. He couldn't say anything with the gag over his mouth anyways. He released a few whimpers in anticipation. The pain was already bad now, but he knew it was about to get much, much worse.
The next few hours were a total blur for Kaoru.
He closed his eyes, and saw his baby sister at home, strapped up to IVs. He opened them again and felt the searing, burning pain of Keelan putting pressure on his wound, releasing scream after scream into the shirt before he closed his eyes again and was taken back there, back to that hospital room, but now it wasn't Hana in the bed… It was Ruthie, hooked up to all those machines. It was Kaoru with his hands around her neck, waiting for her to stop breathing.
His eyes flew open again, where the pain was a little less and he screamed again when the pressure resumed, his vision going white for a few seconds before he blacked out again, this time into a dreamless haze.
…
He opened his eyes again to a dark, starry sky and a chill crawling up his spine. The ground was suddenly cold, the breeze sending icy stabs of pain through his body as he shivered. Fuck… He had no idea what had happened. By now, his adrenaline had completely calmed, leaving behind a sore ache in his leg that led down to throbbing pain on his ankle. Fuck.
"Kaoru?" He looked over to where Keelan was sitting up, awake, on watch. "Thank God, you're finally awake." He crawled over, opening the thermos and taking the gag off of him to give him another sip. "Here, drink a little, then I can help you sit up."
The water, despite the chill of the night, never tasted so sweet. Kaoru sat up and took a few huge gulps of it, before he realized that it was probably limited and stopped himself. "Sorry."
"It's okay, you need it more than us." Keelan frowned a little bit. "We're going to try and go back to the horn tomorrow and get more supplies. Then… We'll make a plan. But for tonight, you just take what you need. Before the girls went to sleep, we all agreed that you could take what you need."
Kaoru closed his eyes at that and took a shaking breath. "No…" he said quietly, looking at the girls that were sleeping peacefully. They did that because they didn't know…
Keelan shook his head, looking at the girls. "Ruthie told me to wake her as soon as you were up." He started towards her, but Kaoru lunged forward to grab him. "No," he said, his heart picking up at that thought. "Don't. Let her sleep."
Keelan stopped, nodding a little bit with a frown. "I know it's hard to have her see you in pain, but she really does care and wants to take care of you."
Kaoru's face darkened at that. He knew that was true. "I know," he said quietly. But the truth was that he didn't deserve all of them looking after him like this… This was wrong, this was so fucking wrong, dammit.
"I understand, though," Keelan said quietly. "I know I didn't sleep at all last night. I'm glad that they're resting."
Kaoru looked at the two of them, shivering a little bit and hugging each other for warmth. But very much asleep. Kaoru was sure that they were, otherwise Ruthie would be up trying to take care of him. But that wasn't her job. Kaoru hated being the person that required care, dammit. But he hated it even more, because he didn't deserve any of it. He just stayed quiet as Keelan produced a bag of nuts. "Here." He pulled at the blue string bracelet around his wrist. "Take them."
Kaoru frowned at them. "Is this all we have?"
"Kaoru. Just eat."
"No," he said. He couldn't let the others starve themselves just for him to eat. Not after he had been the one to do that. It sucked. He hated it. He couldn't be that person, that leech off of their precious resources, all because he was ill…
He squeezed his eyes shut. Hana wasn't a leech… It wasn't her fault. But sometimes, he couldn't help but feel that way about her. He loved his sister, but he gave up everything for her.
But she deserved it.
Kaoru, maybe he deserved it once. But not now.
"Eat the damn nuts," Keelan told him, pressing the bag on Kaoru's chest and letting it go so he could catch it. "Stop being stubborn, you need it and we left them there for you. We all agreed, just-"
"I was going to kill her in the Bloodbath."
Keelan stopped at that. Kaoru looked into his face, more tears bubbling up to his eyes. This time, though… They weren't due to the physical pain.
"I really cared about Ruthie, but she wasn't my sister," he said quietly, his voice breaking a little bit as shame rushed over him and tears traced down his cheeks. His ankle didn't even hurt anymore, nothing hurt worse than admitting it out loud. He was so ashamed… "I didn't want to do it. I knew that if I let her live too long, I would have died in her place. I couldn't let that happen. I wanted to show them that I would do whatever it took to win. I… I knew I was going to do that, even when I was talking to her about dignity and autonomy at the party." He squeezed his eyes shut, refusing to look at him. "I was a hypocrite. And she trusted me anyways. And wants to take care of me so badly…" He let out a quiet sob, barely talking above a whisper. He had no idea how he was ever going to tell her that. But he couldn't do it now of all times, not when all they had was the other three in the middle of the fucking woods who-knows-where…
But instead of getting angry at him or upset, Keelan just shrugged. "I don't blame you," he said. "It's the Hunger Games, only one gets out alive. My allies were my friends too, but I was still trying to devise a way to kill them and get out alive. It's just the nature of the Games."
Kaoru just stared at him for a moment. He talked about it so casually. "How can you not be ashamed?"
"Should I be?" At the look on Kaoru's face, he just sighed a bit. "I grew up being exposed to this," he said, finally. "Career District and all. It's just part of life, where I come from. Not a pleasant one, but… It was always just a normal roadblock."
Kaoru closed his eyes as his tears slowed. "That's disgusting."
"Looking at it with fresh eyes, now that I don't have to do it…" Keelan just sighed a little bit. "It is. But that's just life, that's culture, you have to respect the different culture of the Career Districts."
"Not when your culture says that killing your friends is normal," Kaoru shot back. But he shut his mouth. He needed Keelan here to protect them and teach them how to survive. The girls needed him.
"Touche," Keelan said quietly, and then they were silent for a while before he spoke again. "Just… Don't try to beat yourself up about that. I'm sure that even as close as you are… Ruthie had a plan in mind to kill you too. It's what we all had to do. But now we don't have to anymore, and I don't intend on killing any of you. Do you?"
"No," Kaoru said quickly. "I never wanted to kill." Unlike you.
"Then let's just let bygones be bygones," Keelan said. "Now, we don't have to kill each other. All we have to do is survive. Together."
Kaoru nodded a little bit. But he would have to tell Ruthie that he was always planning to break her trust someday. "Okay."
Just… Not today.
"Together it is."
~.~.
All he had was the sound of his own voice. It was the only thing that reminded him who he was, the fact that he was still alive. He had no information for them. He didn't know anything about any of this. Why was he still here? Why couldn't he be with his family again? He just had them… Only to lose them so fucking quickly.
He had lost count of the days. The days since they started beating him and leaving him for dead. But no matter how much they beat him… They could never get anything out of him.
Quantavius Lawrence wished he could say it was because he had a will of steel. Because he had… He had something in him that was willing to endure so much pain and torture to protect his son.
But it wasn't.
No.
He couldn't tell them anything… Because he didn't know anything. He didn't know where Numitor was. He could have been halfway to District Thirteen by now and he would have never known. He hadn't heard from his son at all since he disappeared that night, just like everyone else. He had no idea that Numitor was subscribed to the same values as his birth parents.
Just thinking about Leviticus sent a shiver down his spine. They only tried hijacking him once, but he still struggled to sort out the real memories from the fake ones. Numitor's father wasn't a bad person. He was a man that Q once loved. And, despite dying for treason… He still did love him. He just had to keep remembering that. He had to hold on to the last pieces of his sanity. If for nothing else… To get back to the three children that he could now call his.
"Aristotle and Trixie. Aristotle and Trixie." He had quickly learned that he couldn't say the name of the third out loud. Numitor. He couldn't let them be orphaned a second time. "Aristotle and Trixie." He had to keep saying their names. Otherwise, he would just finally keel over and fucking die like he wanted to do.
But this was the parent in him. He had to do the selfish thing for the selfless reason of making sure his kids still had a father.
But what the hell kind of father was he, when he couldn't even see that his own son was a rebel? What kind of father was he, to let his oldest get pushed so far that he could have gotten himself killed?! Q couldn't think of the possibility that he really was dead. Not after everything he'd survived through. Numitor was a survivor. He lived and he kept pushing. He won the Hunger Games, for crying out loud! He had to be out there somewhere.
And… Well, if that was what the guards thought too, then at least they were on the same page about something. Q, or, as he was once called, Cupid, had once been their pawn, once. He once had all the glory, all the fame. But it was for the wrong reason. The Q-serum that he created gave them the dangerous power to manipulate emotions. As soon as the Games were over, they were selling it like a drug, and profiting in the millions. Using that… That evil thing that he created. That evil thing that made him rich. He would have never taken that money if it didn't mean a better life for his kids. They were so fucking happy. He made the stupid antidote to it and gotten it out to those that were injected without their consent. As much as it hurt to have his betrayal of Lux's trust on full display… He did what he had to in order to get ahead.
In the cell, his bare back touched the cold tile walls as he grabbed his hair – which had grown long enough to braid and unbraid – and pulled on it a little bit just thinking about it.
It was so foolish of him to believe that being successful didn't come with a hefty price tag. He was just too young, and dumb, and blind to see it.
Now… Now his three kids were out there, orphaned twice over. And he was left to sit in this damn cell and wonder… What could he have possibly done to stop it? Was there anything he could have done? He just didn't know. And thinking about it… It just brought him way too much pain.
Q never wanted to be a dad. He never wanted to be responsible for other people. Especially not after Lev married someone else… But when they died, something changed. He couldn't leave those three kids to be orphaned. No. Not after he'd grown up in that evil, wretched place. So… He took the kids. But it was never something he wanted to do.
"Aristotle and Trixie."
And Numitor.
They all changed his life. They made him a different person. They shaped him into a family man. He learned that he loved kids… He just never knew kids that were so good like Trixie, so fun-loving like Aristotle, so smart like Numitor. But then he got to know them, and he came to love them. He finally had a family.
Then it all came crashing down. Numitor was reaped. He came home. And not even a year later… He was gone. And Q was gone too. What did they think of him now? Did they think he'd given up? Did they think he was dead?
It would have been so much easier to be dead. Sometimes, he would have rather accepted death than accepted that he was the last parent those kids had left, and now he wasn't there to comfort them. Would he be the reason his kids never trusted adults again? He could still clearly remember the adults in his life. The ones that hit him, beat him, sure. But even more… The ones that allowed it to happen. The ones that saw him, that he trusted, and then… Left. Vanished.
He pressed his forehead into his knees. Oh, how he hated thinking about that awful place.
"Lawrence." Q lifted his head to see guards. But they weren't there with his ration. They were there with batons. He already knew what that meant, and just seeing them there sent a shiver down his spine. It had been a long, long time since they came here for this purpose. He got up on his feet. He had to cooperate, if he wanted the pain to be as short as possible.
It wasn't until they were walking to the Cellar that he realized that they wouldn't do this… Without a reason.
The room was dim. Q was thrown down on his knees. He allowed it to happen. He allowed them to push him, and when they did, he fell for them. If he cooperated for this much… Maybe this would be the day he was believed. He really didn't know anything.
He could hear the familiar voice of the head of Security. "Quantavius Lawrence." He could hear his footsteps echo off the floor, but he didn't look at him. "Your son has been spotted once again."
Q looked up at that, his eyes widening. Numitor… Spotted again!? So he was still alive…
"He's in conjunction with Jansing and his band of sewer rats." Q heard the sound of his baton clapping on his hand. "Your son obviously thought that one innocent life given on his behalf wasn't enough. And took many, many more innocent lives. Along with his own."
Q's heart pounded at that. "What?" he asked quietly. He felt the cool touch of the baton used to raise his chin and look at the guard's face.
"That's right. Your son blew himself up. And took the Gamemaking Complex with him. All for the rebels."
Q's mouth fell open at that. "No." It couldn't be true. Why would he do that?! Wouldn't Q have known if his kid was suicidal?! Surely he would have, wouldn't he?! He… He couldn't have failed as a parent that badly… But oh… He did. Why would they tell him this if it wasn't true? "NO! NUMITOR!"
"Where are they located? Where has your son been getting shelter!?"
Cupid cried out as he felt an electric shock on his back, which caused him to jolt as his skin burned and he let out a little scream. "I don't know," he said. "I'm a fucking failure of a father."
But it was never good enough for them. Cupid could feel the whip lash on his shoulders, and let out another cry of pain. But the whips weren't what hurt. Not after getting this news… Not after learning what happened to Lev's most prized treasure. Fuck. He failed Numitor, he failed Lev…
But he couldn't fail Trixie and Aristotle. He had to keep on living so he could go there and be there for them. Right now… He just had no idea how that was possibly going to happen. He hung his head. The pain was making him feel so fucking weak. Maybe he deserved all of this for not seeing it earlier. For not getting Numi the help he so obviously needed in hindsight. Where did it all go wrong?! He didn't realize that he was screaming until he felt the sting of a needle, injecting him with… Something.
"Where?! Where is Lux Hastings located?! Where is their ant hole!? Jansing was obviously ready to sacrifice your son at the drop of a pin, do you even want justice for him!?"
Why did they think he knew!? The tears fell out of Q's eyes. He wasn't strong enough to endure another beating. Not when he'd taken the hardest hit they possibly could have dealt to him. He couldn't take any more of this. He had to give them what they wanted. But what they wanted was something that he didn't have.
The whip cracked on him again and Q cried out as a haze fell over him. He couldn't take this anymore. This… All of this was just way too similar to the terrible things he experienced as a child at that awful place, that place that he hated, that place that he despised.
Q spit on the floor a little bit, feeling the blood running down his back. He couldn't take it. Too much like that evil place.
He looked at him. "Okay!" he shouted. He closed his eyes, taking a few shaking breaths as he heard Peacekeepers step away from him.
He would give them what they wanted.
Whether it was true or not… Didn't matter.
"Three Oaks," he spit out, coughing a little bit as a tear pushed out of his eye. The people that ran that awful place deserved to be interrogated, held, tortured, just like he was here in this terrible place.
The guard just smiled. "Let the drug wear off, then cast him out," he said, pulling up a walkie talkie.
"We have reason to believe that the rebels are housed at the Three Oaks Orphanage. Fly out the bombs." The grin on his face was chilling, and Q just barely heard the last sentence before he passed out on the floor.
"Leave no survivors."
~.~.
A/N: So we get some check-ins on tributes here and a little spice is always nice! Amazing how this actually really parallels your typical Arena night one chapter.
Anyways, hope you liked it!
Since we're not doing sponsor points anymore, there's not really much use to CQs anymore, so I'm not gonna stress about having one for every chapter. For this one, just tell me your thoughts.
Next chapter is totally tribute-focused and we'll catch up with Adrian, Rory, and Jun. See ya then!
Tribute Locations:
Taken by Peacekeepers – Antonio, Adrian
Protective Custody – Vasilisa
Out of Spite Bunker (with Camellia and Mari) – Ryder, Ridley, Amiah, Mary, Kodiak, Ember
District 9 Bunker (with Thack and Calliope)– Odessa, Cadmus, Nadia
Capitol safehouse (with Ben's sister)– Wendy, Basil, Chiwi, Rory
Wilderness outside the Arena – Keelan, Vyka, Kaoru, Ruthie
? - Jun