-Adrian Amberheim, 18, District 12-
It reminded him all too much of home.
Home, the place he volunteered to get out of. To run away from. He couldn't believe he didn't just fucking die like he had been waiting to do for so long. He had so much extra time to do it, and he fucking didn't. Why!? Why did he allow a momentary lapse in judgement to happen, and bring him back here?!
Adrian Amberheim was a lot of things. But wrathful wasn't one of them. Not until today.
The opportunity was handed over to him. The opportunity to finally have a graceful end. To finally be dead. Gone. He didn't care that he wouldn't exist anymore. Not existing at all would be so much better than being forced to exist here, in this stupid fucking world that only brought pain and suffering upon its inhabitants. Death was mercy. Wasn't that why he didn't step over to take Robin's place!? He wanted to allow them a quick end to their misery. To the misery of being chained up, beaten, bleeding, Avoxed. They wanted to live because they didn't understand. They wanted to live because as humans, that was what they felt like they had to do. But there was no need to constantly fight for life, especially not when the situation of the world was so bleak.
He hated Lester Gilmour. The man that planted that seed in his brain, that… That his death would mean something if he bided his time and allowed it to happen at the right time, in the right place. Maybe that was true. But… Fuck, why did it matter?! Whether he had the balls to step off that platform or died sacrificing himself in the name of God in the final two, it wouldn't matter. The end would still be the same for him. And he had nobody left to try and make a better world for. They all ceased to exist, thanks to him. Their suffering ended. Why did he continue to suffer?! What did he have to lose at this point!? Why did he try to make himself bigger than he was by having the death of a hero? Death was still death, whether it was a hero's death or a criminal's. Either way his suffering would be over.
So why did he feel like he had a debt to repay? Why did he feel like he needed to do something big, why did he feel like his death had to be meaningful!? It didn't fucking matter to him, he would be gone. It didn't fucking matter to his family, they were all gone already and their eyes would never open again. They were dead, in the ground, buried, decomposed, gone. Ceasing to exist, never talked about, sent away with heavy hearts, gone.
And Adrian was still fucking here. Why?! Why did he let Lester talk him into believing that death had to happen for a reason? Foolish. As much as people said it and wanted to believe it… Life wasn't a treasure. No human ever asked to be born. Adrian never wanted to exist in the first place. He loved his parents. But the fact that they just kept damning more and more humans to an existence that they didn't ask for… It just wasn't fair. So Adrian did the right thing, and allowed them to cease existing. But he didn't get the same mercy in return. Why could he not grant himself that?! What was it that he thought, somewhere deep in his subconscious, that he had to do before he could finally die!?
He didn't know.
He never wanted to get caught up in a fucking war. He knew that the world was going to shit and watched it happen right in front of his eyes.
And now he was back here. Back to the place he thought he would never see again.
But he was different somehow. Even if it was just the difference of knowing that he fucked it up when it mattered the most.
He could barely even feel the metal shackles that were holding his wrists still. He was so used to being in them that it was a familiar feeling, so familiar that he could just… Forget about it. He didn't even notice the weights that were holding his ankles to the floor. He wasn't put like this all the time back home, but once or twice was enough to be used to the feeling.
Adrian stared at the wall as he heard quiet… Sobs.
Sobs that echoed off of the cold concrete walls and fell into Adrian's ears. The sound of misery. The sound of defeat. The sound of a man – in this case, only a child – that has realized that life isn't a gift. It isn't something to fight for. It's yours. Yours to do with what you please, live or die.
He stayed quiet for a few moments. Adrian may have cried a few times when he was as young as Antonio. Back when he was still trying fruitlessly to fight for life. Foolishly.
Adrian hadn't really felt much of anything outside of his own self-hatred. But this… This made him feel… Something. He didn't know what that something was. But… He couldn't just listen to Antonio cry like this. Not when… Tears were just going to waste his energy. Right now, they couldn't afford to lose energy. They had to do everything they could to minimize their suffering as much as possible.
"You get used to it."
At the sound of Adrian's voice, the crying stopped right away. Silenced in the blink of an eye.
"Shut up!" he yelled from the other side of the cell. "I didn't fuckin' do shit! I was fucking good! I didn't cause any problems! I didn't, I didn't do shit like you! Why am I here?!"
Adrian sighed a little bit and closed his eyes. "Because. It doesn't matter how good you are," he said quietly. "You could be the nicest kid in the whole group, like Dante, and it doesn't matter. You still must suffer." But right now, he was jealous of the child that died. He didn't have to exist in a world that was plagued by war. He should have done the same. "Everyone suffers."
"I don't want your sympathy!" he spat out, the anger fiery in his voice as the loud clash of metal echoed off the walls from him striking his chains on the floor.
"Don't resist. You will only suffer worse. That's the thing about these places." He looked up at the ceiling, and down to the floor. "They exist to create suffering. They will never grant you mercy by ending your suffering. Robin, Dante, Paisley, they were the lucky ones."
Antonio went quiet at that. "How the fuck can you say that they're lucky?! They're dead!"
"Because they are free from suffering," Adrian said simply. He could hear the pain and sorrow dripping out of Antonio's voice.
"But they're fucking dead."
"Yes, Antonio, they are dead, and it's just better that way," Adrian told him. He couldn't hold up the act of someone that was trying so hard to live. Not after being taken back to the place he despised so, so much.
"How can you say that?" His voice was broken. His spirit, broken. But only for a moment before that life, energy, fire came back to his voice. "How can you say that when we went through hell to get here?! How can you just give up?!"
"I don't see it as giving up," Adrian said simply. "And even if it was, I'm content with that. I never asked to be put into the world and suffer like this. I would have rather never existed at all." But if that was true… Why did he still exist? Why was he sitting on the floor of this prison cell and not buried in the ground?
"That's what it is!" Antonio said, slamming his fists down again and rattling the chains a second time. "I have lived through hell to get here. Every fucking time my parents beat each other, every single time they looked at my sister and called her a fucking whore, every single time I got out on the other side!" The anger fizzled from his voice into resigned disappointment. "I'm not giving up on living. I haven't even gotten to feel happy."
"That's because there's no such thing as happy," Adrian told him. "I'm sorry that it has to be that way, but unfortunately, that's just how it is to live in District Twelve. And District Eleven, I assume."
Antonio was quiet for a second. "Maybe this war will change things."
Adrian just smiled a little bit at his innocence. He didn't understand still, he was far too young. But that was the beauty in dying young. Dying before they could suffer too much just for growing up. "Do you really believe that?"
The boy just sighed a little bit. "No." He knew, in his heart of hearts, that it wouldn't change anything. His voice became more subdued. "My parents have been at war with each other for years. All it's ever done is hurt people. Hurt each other. Hurt me, even though I never did anything wrong. Cause me to hurt others, not be able to control my emotions." He sniffled a few times. "It's a good thing that Vyka ran away without me. I was only ever going to hurt her."
Adrian was quiet for a few seconds at that. He was a firecracker, this kid, but… Well, he had a good heart. Obviously, a heart that was way too good for this world. "When they come to get us… Let's fight back. Together. What do we have to lose?" If they were dangerous enough… They could finally both die. He could do something good. He could break free one last miserable soul from suffering any longer. He was like Adrian's younger brother, Dominic. Doing stupid, rash shit to fit in, to try to be happy, not realizing yet that they weren't in control of their own destiny. It was a hard truth to swallow. But that was just the thing about dying so young. They didn't have to swallow it. And they weren't gonna be sad about dying. They weren't going to even exist at all.
He answered right away. "No. I don't wanna die, okay!? I… I don't know, fuck, I'm just… Gonna fucking do what they say. I don't have another choice if I want to live."
"Isn't doing all of that worse than death?"
"Shut the fuck up, man!" Antonio said finally. "You know what, I don't fucking care if you're cracked up and suicidal, some of us aren't like that. Don't try to fucking drag me into it, I've made up my mind, I'm living. I'm living so I can fix the things I broke. If you wanna take the easy way out and give up, be my guest, but I refuse to go down with you. There's still too much I wanna do. Too many people I don't wanna let down. Too much hope that maybe my life will look up someday, and I'm not letting that go without a fight. You just don't wanna admit that you're fucking weak. Have no fucking grit. Yeah. That's you. But I'm not like that so kindly leave me the fuck alone."
Adrian went quiet at that. "You're right. I am weak. All of us are weak. Human are frail and fragile and it's not worth living in this shit world any longer than we physically have to. I didn't ask to live. But I'm gonna try my damndest to die."
"You should have just died in Robin's place, you fucking waste of air," Antonio said, releasing a small whimper. "I don't care what kind of shape they were in. Anyone that wants to live like they wanted to live is more deserving of the chance for it than you." Antonio sniffled a little bit and sobbed quietly.
"If you're trying to hurt me, it's not going to work," Adrian said. He couldn't hurt him. Nobody could hurt Adrian Amberheim except for himself.
"I don't know what I'm trying to do!" Antonio said with a sob. "I'm trying to survive!"
Adrian just closed his eyes and shrugged. If that was his course, he could try his entire life to win them over, trying to survive, only to be met with suffering. "Well then… You're a fool."
There was a long moment of silence before Antonio spoke again.
"So be it."
~.~.
-Rory Kwan, 18, District 8-
Rory didn't care that she was sleeping.
They didn't care that she couldn't hear them or even know they were there.
They didn't care that her vital signs were normal and her wound was patched up. They didn't care if all of that was true… They weren't going to fucking leave her side. When she woke up… They wanted her to see their face.
"Rory." They looked up hearing Wendy's voice. "Lunch."
"I'm not hungry," they said quietly, going back to gently stroking her hair.
"You have to eat," Wendy said quietly, shaking her head a little bit with a quiet sigh as she came over to sit next to Rory. "I know you're worried about her, but… Well, I trust Eve and Mako, don't you?"
"I want to," Rory said quietly. After all, they got them all out alive and safely down to the underground basement of the McGinty household. But… They just couldn't take any risks. Not when they were all finally alive and didn't have to think about dying or killing each other anymore. "I just… Don't know. All of this is crazy, I don't even know what to think."
"Me neither," she confessed quietly, glancing down at Chiwi before looking back at Rory. "I know that we both volunteered, for very different reasons as well. I entered this experience fully wanting to be part of the Games and win them. I knew what I had to do coming in. And as scary as the thought of killing was… Well, it's really hard to reverse that mindset in a day."
"I just wanted a better life for my daughter," Rory said quietly. "Now… Now she's out there, with my fucking ex and whatever nasty-ass boyfriend she's brought into Elaina's life now… And I'm… I'm all the way here, fucking trapped, in hiding, while the rest of the country is on its way to war!" If something happened to Elaina… They could never forgive themself. "It's completely different from whatever ego trip you were trying to go on. I wish I'd never done it."
Wendy just frowned a little at them snapping at her, but she didn't get angry. There was no use in getting angry here and now. Especially not at each other. "It was more than just an ego trip you know," she said quietly. "Whether it was the right decision or not… I had something to prove. Now… That something is gone. And I have to figure out… Where to go from here."
"I'm sorry Wendy," Rory said, but they had to tell the truth. "But I don't understand you at all."
"I don't expect you to understand that part," Wendy said quietly. "But… You can at least understand that like you, I was trying to stand up to people I loved, that hurt me." She looked over at Chiwi and quickly looked away. "Trying to show them all that I'm more than just a welcome mat to wipe their feet on, y'know?"
Rory sighed a little bit. "Yeah. Yeah… I do understand that." They just frowned at Chiwi and didn't look back over at Wendy. "I guess I can relate to you that way, I was so ready to step up to be a parent for my girl, both of my girls, and then… Got robbed."
"That day, the day he hurt me…" she sighed a little bit. "I went to the training center. The Games became a part of me that day. I just wish that I'd seen earlier that it wasn't the Games that saved me from him. It was me." She smiled sadly. "And… The friends I made along the way. If all of this shit wasn't enough to process… I'm trying to get used to the fact that Trap is alive on top of it all. He was my teacher, he was iron that sharpened me, and I sharpened him. I think deep down, he was part of the reason I wanted to win so much." She sighed quietly. "Now, I might cross paths with him again. And he's working with Choptank, crazy bastard. I've only ever heard stories about him."
"I imagine that's a lot to take in," Rory said quietly. "That blew my mind. Or, in the words of the underground twink network… My wig was snatched."
Wendy laughed at that – a real laugh, momentarily relaxing the tension in her shoulders. "I had no idea what to say when Basil told me that was why the intern called him down to talk to him. I didn't even know what all that stuff meant until he explained it to me."
Rory just gave a small laugh at that. "What kind of queer are you?" they teased, gently punching her arm. "But… Where is Basil?"
"Where do you think?" Wendy asked, trying to put a little bit of life and teasing into her voice before her shoulders hunched again. "He's with the kid. The youngest McGinty child. Trying to help him process what happened to his brother, I guess."
"I see," Rory said quietly, forcing a small smile at that. "Of course."
"He said bad things to Chiwi," Wendy said. "But he's not a bad person. He just… Gets carried away sometimes. But he really does care. He cares about all of the kids out there who are broken just like he was. He cares about his boyfriend, and family. He… He cares about all of us too."
"I could tell, from when I met him to design chariot outfits," Rory said. "But it's not my choice to forgive him or not. That's all up to her. She's never been allowed to have a voice before, and I'm going to make sure she gets to now."
Wendy smiled at that and reached over to rub their arm. "You're the kind of person that would make a fellow walking mat like me the luckiest person alive." She looked back at Chiwi and this time she didn't look away as a small smile spread across her face. "Looks like Eros was just trying to set you up with the wrong person."
Rory could feel their eyes widen and the blush crawling up their face right away at that. "What does that mean!?" they asked quickly.
Wendy just chuckled at their reaction, putting a bowl of soup on the table beside them and patting their back a few times. "You know what it means. You just won't admit that you do."
They definitely did know what she meant. "It isn't like that," Rory said quickly – too quickly. "We're in a fight to the death!"
Wendy just bounced her eyebrows at them. "Not anymoooooooore," she teased in a sing-songey voice.
"Okay, goodbye Wendy," Rory said, shooing her towards the door, but they couldn't help but laugh a little bit at her antics. It felt good to laugh about something. To feel something that wasn't… Monumental worry, for a little bit. And… Well, the smell of food wafting into their nose was enough to make their stomach grumble and they leaned over to take a spoonful. It was warm, but not hot, and it tasted so good to them after everything that happened that morning.
The taste of lunch made them realize that they'd been sitting for too long, and they got up to stretch their legs a little bit. But when they were about to pull away, they felt a grip on their hand that sent them right back to sitting. "Chiwi?!"
Her eyes flickered open hearing them saying her name. "Ror…" she said quietly, her voice strained and tense and barely above a whisper she was so groggy.
"It's just me," they said quietly. "I'm here. Don't try to strain yourself, okay?"
"I'm okay," she said, reaching up with the hand that wasn't holding Rory's to rub at her eye groggily. "Are we safe?"
"We're safe," Rory said quietly. "Eve – that's the girl with the red hair that was there to get us – she had a friend called Mako who is in medical school and was able to patch you up."
"PRISM," Chiwi said, letting out a yawn.
"Yeah, he's the beatboxer for PRISM," Rory said with a nod and a small smile that Chiwi knew who they were. "I used to listen to their music with Elaina."
"I liked the A Capella sound," Chiwi said, sounding more like herself as she pushed herself up to sit, hiding the wince that came with the action. "Kodi was always an Out of Spite fan. I'm sure he's got so many questions for Rose…"
"Whoever Rose actually is," Rory said quietly, shaking their head a little bit.
"Crazy," Chiwi said quietly.
"Understatement of the century," Rory teased, and when Chiwi smiled, their heart soared. "Here, have something to eat." They were so glad that they hadn't finished their soup yet, holding the bowl over the spoonful to not drip on her and putting the spoon by her lips. Chiwi sipped the soup and gave them a thankful smile. "Good girl, you didn't even need the airplane sounds."
Chiwi gave a silent laugh at that. "I prefer train sounds," she said quietly. "That's what Arthur always did with Hopi."
Rory smiled a little at that. "What, like… Chuggachuggachuggachugga?"
"Choo choo!" Chiwi said, with another laugh as she sipped another spoonful of soup quickly.
"I can't believe I forgot the choo choo," Rory said with a smile and shaking their head. But that was by far the most adorable choo choo they'd ever seen. But they knew that she needed to eat and didn't waste any more time on the sound effects, simply trying to get something in her. Make her feel better. Yeah… Wendy was definitely right. Rory could admit it to themself. They tried to protect their heart but somehow she melted it. And… Well, it was totally okay with Rory. Because it was her. But… Looking at her like this, desperately sipping soup… Sent a pang of pain through Rory, knowing the truth.
When the soup was gone, Rory put it aside and couldn't help the small frown that spread across their face. "This… This should have been me."
"No," she said quietly. "Don't waste time on what could have happened."
"I will," Rory said right back. "I just want you to know that I'm grateful for what you did." They could feel their eyes pooling up with tears. All day, they'd been holding back those tears – either too shocked, too worried, or just too many other people that they didn't want to be vulnerable to… But here, with her… They couldn't stop the tears from falling out of their eyes. They tried to be strong, but… This was just too tough, to watch her like this and know that it should have been them. "I don't know why. But I'm just glad you're okay." They winced at how their voice cracked and the expression on Chiwi's face at the sound.
"It was an easy choice to make," Chiwi said quietly, frowning at the tears that glistened on their face. "My son, I know that he would be happy and healthy without me. Your daughter, she needs you."
"I love my daughter," Rory said, not even trying to hide the tears and the waver in their voice. "But…" They didn't know how to feel that she would have died for a little girl that she never even met… And the thought of losing Chiwi, it hurt too. Not the same way, but… It hurt.
"No buts," Chiwi said quietly. "I always wanted to help you get out alive," she said quietly. "However I could. I really didn't think about it."
"I appreciate that so much," Rory said quietly, sniffling a little bit. "But… Your life is worth something, Chiwi, I don't want you to throw it around like it's worthless. You might not feel like it, but you're worth…" Everything. "…A damn lot. Please don't throw it away… Your son may have three dads, but he needs you." Rory's lip quivered a little bit. "I need you."
Chiwi stared at them for a moment with her lips slightly parted. "Oh…" she said quietly, looking away from them. They could see on her face that she didn't believe them at all… And that broke their heart. How could the world see someone so beautiful and wonderful and just break her like this? "Uh… Thanks." She hugged herself with one hand and squeezed Rory's hand with the other. Rory squeezed her back gently.
But their stolen moment was quickly interrupted by a knock on the door. "Hey Sleeping Beauty." The girl that saved them – Ben's sister Eve – came in with a bowl of soup. "I thought I heard a soprano in here."
"Thank you for helping me," Chiwi said with a smile.
"Here's your lunch," Eve said. "Piping hot and fresh."
"Oh…" Chiwi looked over at Rory and her dark complexion went red. "Uh, I actually already ate…" She raised an eyebrow and looked over at Rory, obviously in disbelief that that portion wasn't her own and she still ate it…
"It was my serving," Rory said, when Eve's eyebrow went up in confusion and Chiwi looked away from them hearing that. "But if you're still hungry, I can feed you this portion too."
"I'm not," Chiwi said. "I can't believe you would do that."
"I can," Eve said with a smirk. "You little simp."
"Will you cut that out?!" Rory asked her, shaking their head at her.
"Don't scold Rory for giving you their portion," she said, pointing at Chiwi. "They're going to eat this now and you needed it more. I'm going to help you to the bathroom while Rory eats, then I doubt you're going to get them to leave your side."
Chiwi opened her mouth and then closed it with a sigh. "Okay." But Rory could see it was hard for her to not protest. They were nervous at the pain on her face when Eve helped her up and took her through to the bathroom.
They wanted to worry…But damn, that soup tasted so good piping hot like that and Rory was soon eating it quickly. They were so fucking hungry now that they saw Chiwi awake and acting like herself, fuck. They cleaned the bowl quickly at the knowledge that she was up and moving, probably getting a much-needed shower. As worried as they were about Elaina… At least Chiwi was okay. That was a small victory that they could hold onto.
Now that one of their girls was safe and cared for… Rory could put all of their energy into getting back home to the other.
~.~.
-Jun Kozart, 18, District 3-
He saw the faces of his family in his dreams.
Mom, shaking her head in disappointment.
Ceth and Giz, his cousins, Districts apart from each other, watching the news in two very different places. Which was in more danger? Jun didn't even know.
Grandpa Deck… Watching the world go to war. Was he glad? Was he afraid? If anything… He was probably afraid for Jun.
Don't fear for me. He couldn't stand the thought of his family fearing for him. He hated to see them in pain, true. And… He didn't deserve it. Not after everything he'd done that none of them would ever know about.
Who was he? Was he Alvis? Was he Jun? Was he Phil's killer? Was he Owen's stalker? Was he… A monster? Yes. No. He… He didn't know.
But one thing he was…. Alone.
He saw the faces of everyone he promised to protect, the man he promised to die for. Was that Owen? Phil? Stellan? He didn't know. But either way… He didn't. Why?
He felt like he still hadn't done everything that he had to do. And part of that… Involved finding her.
Were the consequences really worth bringing him here? He should have been on that hovercraft with Rose – no, Camellia – and the tributes he rallied to do their bidding. Maybe then, he could have had something to eat, slept in a bed, and then… Then what!? He didn't even fucking know. When he watched that timer stop, he didn't think, he just… He acted. And what he needed to do was find her. He didn't want to let anyone else do it, he wanted to be her only hero. He didn't want to waste a single second doing anything but locating her. She couldn't survive too long on her own. And if he wasted even a minute of time and the Peacekeepers found her first… What would they do to her?! Kill them at the first sign of defiance. That was what. This wasn't Lizzie's time to die. It was his. Maybe… Maybe he could finally just die happily once he found her and knew she was safe. Knowing that even if he fucked up time and time again, at least he didn't fuck up one thing.
Fuck up. Fuck up. Fuck up. He was a fuck up. Maybe Stellan and his friends would have forgiven Jun for destroying their band and killing their brother before. But now… How could he possibly show his face there? He would, of course, but only with Lizzie in tow, only with a promise for them to keep her safe. Then, he would let Stellan kill him, and never make him look at the face of Phil's murderer again.
He could hear everything that they would say to him again. He could hear his mother's wails when she heard that he'd died. She was the only one that actually knew what he did. She let him go every day knowing that he would be making decisions like this, and she still loved him anyways. Flesh and blood really went a long way.
But first, he had to fucking find her. If they got her first, or worse, if she was dead somewhere… How was he ever going to forgive himself? He already couldn't forgive himself for failing Owen that way, if he failed Lizzie too… Then he wouldn't be a human anymore. He would shut down, like a robot, and become a fucking machine. Tear down everything and everyone in his path, just trying to chase after something he knew he could never obtain. Hurt anyone and everyone that stood between him and being successful, just to feel. Not caring who they were. How could he let himself become that person?
He couldn't fail.
And here he was, dreaming instead of looking for her.
That thought made his eyes open and he sat up. The sky that greeted his eyes was dark and starry. Fuck, he'd passed out for the entire fucking day. He knew that he needed to sleep – and being nocturnal was probably better anyway, but he couldn't help the tightness in his throat from that. His stomach rumbled and he sat up, looking around him. All around him were trees that reached up to touch the sky. He was alone. He was alone and had no guidance, didn't even know where he was or where he could go. He had no allies to help him, he had no friends. All he had was one person. And a fucking will of steel.
But was that enough?
By all means, on paper, it wasn't. Not when Bonnie Bunsen was the advisor to the search for her back in the Capitol. And he wouldn't let anything stop him from finding her. Was it because he had shut down too? Or was it out of fear in its most primal form? Jun didn't know. Right now, he didn't care. That bastard was the reason she was gone. Jun was ridiculously proud of her from breaking free from those bastards and running of course, but… Not when it meant she could die alone.
Jun climbed a tree, knowing that the Arena wouldn't be far. As soon as that clock stopped… He ran, but apparently he didn't get too far before he collapsed from the exhaustion. When he saw the lights in the distance – the few that still worked, he climbed down and started walking there. But he was still thinking about Lizzie.
She couldn't have gone far from the Capitol, unless she somehow got picked up by Calliope or Eve on the way. But he hadn't seen her with them. And besides… For all Jun knew, those hovercrafts could have taken them to the fucking ruins of District Thirteen. He could die out here and nobody would even know.
He couldn't die like this. He couldn't die alone, a failure. He had to die for something. So he couldn't give up. Jun felt a little dizzy suddenly and put a hand on his head. This wasn't good. He had to find sustenance in any form. He just had to keep walking. He would go there, restock, and then… Then he didn't fucking know. Follow his gut? It was hard to do that when his gut wasn't saying much to him.
One thing at a time. He had to be in the best shape possible to fight for her if he had to. So he had to stock up. Jun sighed a little bit and climbed over the rubble. The dead bodies were still scattered left and right around the horn. The area was already starting to smell. Jun went into the horn, finding a bag that had a thermos and a bag of food attached and another thermos laying at the mouth of the horn.
As he was bent down to get the thermos, he immediately felt like he was being watched. Jun's heartrate picked up a little bit as he turned around immediately, fists raised. But…. He saw nothing.
Jun closed his eyes. He was getting paranoid and he knew it. He had to just focus on one thing at a time. He was exceptional at numbing himself. He had to be, for his job. He went back to collecting things, still on high alert, but trying to calm those feelings. There was nothing there. He felt a little calmer when he had a backpack, knife, and some matches collected. That would be enough, he could only hope.
He turned around, and was greeted with silence. The only sound was the wind, blowing through the trees far off in the distance, outside of the destroyed hotel. A few fireflies had managed to fly into the room, and provided faint dots of light. Jun looked across the carnage for a second. It was a horrible place to be damned to…. It smelled awful and it was so… Dark.
His eyes fell on the one body that wasn't like the rest. He didn't know what made him do it, but… Jun went over and picked up Dante's body. It was cold. Limp. But he put him gently over his shoulder anyways. He carried him out of that closed-in, dark, smelly place that reeked of death. That wasn't where he should be… Jun took him out to the grass, where the trees stretched up and touched the starry sky and the fireflies flew free. He gently laid Dante out on the grass, feeling that familiar sting in his eyes as tears formed there. "There ya go, nice and easy," he said quietly, kneeling down next to him and feeling the coolness of the ground seep into his knees. He reached over and gently closed Dante's eyes. "You're only sleeping." He took a deep shaking breath and pressed his knuckles to his eyes to try and keep the tears from spilling. Could he have avoided this if he didn't run away? He didn't know. "I'm sorry, kid," he said quietly as he stood up, giving him one last look and shaking his head. "Rock on, little dude."
"It's hard. But… Necessary."
Jun whipped around at hearing a voice with a scream, holding up his knife and staring at the figure across from him. "Who the fuck are you? What do you want!? I'm trained in combat, I can fucking disarm you in an instant!"
"Put it down." Eyes that he hadn't seen since Owen's stared at him, a gun trained on his chest. "I'm not going to hurt you." Jun saw a glint as glasses were adjusted, a strand of hair tucked behind her ear.
"What do you want?! Who are you!?"
That only gained a laugh. "You're asking who I am? I thought with all the studying you did, you would know by now."
Jun took a step backwards, putting the knife down. "It can't be."
"Don't get too starstruck, I'm not here to give you my autograph."
"Katarina Icaria," he said under his breath. It couldn't be. He was hallucinating. This couldn't be real. The leader of the Ace of Spades wasn't here, talking to him. No way.
"The girl you seek isn't in the Capitol," she said, pushing her glasses up her nose.
"How do you know that?!" Jun asked, bristling a little bit at the mention of Lizzie and back to being defensive. "What did you do to her!?"
"Why don't you go to the screaming shack and ask her?" Katarina asked him. "She's been waiting for Agent Eight to come rescue her."
"That old place in District Three? I've only heard about it from Ceth when she went to school there."
Suddenly objects were flying at him and Jun caught them, staring at the compass and the map. He stared at them for a few seconds in the night, squinting a little bit. "I don't understand. Why are you helping me? The Ace of Spades, your mission is to time travel and fix timelines to set up the rightful end the Games. You do big shit, you-you assassinate presidents and enter Arenas and shit! Why are you here?!"
Katarina just gave him a smile. "You said the answer to that yourself. You're a smart cookie, you figure it out. You'll want to move west. Limit your breaks and you can get there in a day. Then your hero's welcome will be waiting for you."
"Wait!" Jun called, but in a flash of blue light, she was gone, leaving him alone. He took a few shaking breaths, his hands shaking as he held the paper in his hands and flipped the compass around a few times. If he didn't have these physical things, he wouldn't have been able to believe that it was real.
What was she trying to do? Didn't she know that he was the one that killed Phil!? Was it all a trap, to get rid of him!? Did his death mean the end of the Games, the end of what hurt Owen?! He wouldn't put it below the Spades to use the hope of finding Lizzie as bait. But… He couldn't have been given a lead like this and turn it down.
He finally looked down at the compass and what he could see of the map. He couldn't just let this go. He had to go look. If she really was all the way in the backwoods of District Three… She would be safe from being found by others. Jun wanted to believe so bad that she was safe there, but he wouldn't rest until he saw it. It was a good thing he slept before because he was going to start walking and not stop until he made it to that damn shack out of District Three legend and saw her face. Jun kept walking, drinking some water and munching on the way, but his legs didn't stop. He wouldn't stop until he found her, or collapsed from exhaustion. Whichever came first.
When the sun first appeared, Jun did stop – only for a second, just to check and make sure that he was still on the right path. He couldn't let anything get him off track from his goal.
Jun held up the map, trying to get a better view on it. Holding it up against the sunrise… He could see the location of the screaming shack. He was on the right path.
He was about to put it down when… He could see text. Written in neat handwriting. Jun squinted, flipping it over and then holding it back up to the sun again. Was he hallucinating again?
No, he couldn't be.
Obviously… After he picked up Lizzie from the screaming shack – if she was there… His job wasn't over yet. He squinted to see all of the words clearly, and his blood ran cold when he could see it clearly in the soft orange glow.
26 Industry Lane
Look in the piano bench.
~.~.
A/N: And the plot thickens…
Feel like I'm gonna say that every chapter.
Putting this in as a just so you know: Due to lots of petty drama and stuff going on within the community, I've kind of checked out of it. The only promise I can make is that I'm going to finish this story before I fall off of the map. I doubt I'll be able to read all of the stories I'm involved in to completion. Too much shit going on that I just don't want to associate with, and makes this community and all the stories in it uncomfy for me. Hopefully I'll be able to read stuff to completion some time, but not now. I've reached my limit with all the petty drama and all the instability. I don't want to be responsible for any of it anymore, I'm too old for that. Also why I left discord for good, and I won't be coming back this time. Gave it a second shot, I only need to get burned twice to know it's never gonna get better. It's sad but that's what this corner of the internet has become.
That being said, I would love to know your thoughts on this chapter! Will Antonio get out? Will Rory be a wuss about their feelings? What is the dealio with Jun?
Thanks for your support and next chapter, we'll get to see what's up and hear from Mary, Odessa… And Bonnie.