Jasper Lane: Fragments of Memory

Prologue

"He wakes, eyes slowly opening as the darkness of sleep fades. It's the start of another ordinary day… or so he thinks. But the assumption shatters when she so gently calls his name. No memory remains of their night together in his mind. Why, then, does his heart quiver so? He reaches out, hoping to find the truth… His fingers groping desperately for the fragment of love slumbering in his memories.

Copyright Court of Darkness Voltage"

Chapter 1

Part 1

I stroke her face, searching my memory for her name. Nothing, perhaps she was only privy to mine. It's a concern though, I cannot remember why I am here, what I was to gain by it, or why my heart seems to hold affection for the woman lying at my side. I groan, how tiresome to be so muddled and groggy, still half asleep and with everything beyond her face a blur. It's a risk, but a needed one, I use some of my magic to give my eyesight a temporary boost, not wanting to use my eye potion in her presence. Beyond her face, my room comes into focus. I check my hair, although I have plenty of magic, it is long and dark. But of course, she called me Jasper, not Sirius. How confusing, I only usually find myself in these sort of intrigues in disguise. She kisses me gently on the lips and I feel invigorated.

Her luscious hair and soft breasts hang forwards, arousing me. She is completely at ease, exhibiting no shyness, unless she is unaware of my view or knows I can see next to nothing without my glasses. I wonder which it is.

I pull her to me and kiss her back, not gently, I'm in no mood for it. Wow, I can feel my magic reserve swelling, what potions were we drinking last night? She pushes me firmly away.

"Behave, I have a lecture, you're not to make me late." Her tone is teasing, suggesting she thinks we have a level of intimacy that we do not.

And she has a lecture? Is she a new student or a visiting lecturer. I strain my mind trying to remember her. A faint suspicion that she's a student surfaces, however that is unheard of; I never have such dalliances. I have a dim memory of drinking cocktails at a bar, by myself at first, then vaguer ones of us chatting and laughing together. Then in a different bar, her hand on my thigh, my urgent desire to get her back to my room. I must have been completely sozzled, how unlike me to imbibe alcohol to such an extent… Her eyes mark her as a citizen of Avari, if she becomes a problem, I can always ask my Master to send her home. As for now, I feel the injustice that only she remembers our time together last night.

Part 2

I take her in my arms again and flip her over, pushing her legs apart with my knees.

"Hey, I ha…"

I seal her mouth with mine in a deep kiss, while my fingers set about making her burn. When I pull my lips away, her eyes are unfocused, her skin flushed. My mind doesn't remember last night; however, my body does. I instinctively know how to entice a response from every little part of her and where she desires to be touched the most. I smile to myself at the effort she needs to pull herself back together.

"Aren't you tired? We got so little sleep," she says cheekily.

In reply I begin to work my tongue slowly and teasingly down her body, until she is groaning with need.

"Please," she manages to murmur.

Her body responds so readily to my ministrations, it makes me want to prolong her agony. "Please what?" I ask as my fingers take my tongues place. I will test her limits and push her beyond them…

Part 3

She snuggles close to me. Ever the gentleman, I keep my arms around her and let her rest in the afterglow.

My master calls me, bringing me up from my stupor. With her body still wrapped around mine, I am reminded of the expertise with which she sought her revenge, which inspires me to mischief. "What time did you say your lecture was?"

Her body jumps. Then she's out of bed, dragging on her clothes, misbuttoning her blouse, hunting around my room in a tizzy calling to her underwear. I glimpse black lace and surreptitiously push it out of sight. She turns to me as if noticing the movement. "You could help you know! Rather than just watching and laughing."

It's true I could easily make her look presentable, especially as I'm brimming over with magic but where would the fun in that be?

She glares at me; I smirk back.

Giving up she pulls on her skirt and boots. Pauses halfway to my door and runs back to reach up on her tiptoes to kiss me.

"I love you, you know, despite your wickedness."

"Despite or because of." I hold my lips out of her reach.

She laughs happily. "I love every aspect of you, stop teasing." She pulls my face towards hers and kisses me passionately; responding in kind I move her against my wall dishevelling her further, I do not want to let her go. I'm so full of lust, I hardly know myself.

Part 4

Satisfied, she languidly kisses me. I magic her into a state of respectability, not wanting anyone else to see her like this. Although I will keep her underwear as a memento; and to irk her. The latter thought makes me smile. Her lips leave mine, the spell she's caste over me shatters and I can release her.

As she runs from my quarters, I laugh to myself at the contrast between how stressed she is now and how easily she succumbed to my desires.

My amusement is short lived however, unease seeps into me, as my mind dwells on my assumed lapse last night and all too real lapse this morning.

And 'love,' to make that claim, after what, a few hours of acquaintance, is concerning. Many people use the word lightly; however, she sounded in earnest and her eyes reflected that sentiment in pure unadulterated affection. Hopefully for her she loves easily and will be making a similar confession to another, if not tomorrow then the day after…

I pull her underwear from beneath my pillow and shake my head at myself. Why have I kept it? Worse, why am I reluctant to relinquish it?

Having dressed, I make some coffee and take it to my master, as I do each morning. I know exactly how to make it to his taste, and enjoy the ritual, find it soothing in fact, a distraction from my thoughts.

"Had fun? That woman will be late for Luxure's lecture. Tease her so and one day you'll lose her."

I don't understand, he's talking as if I didn't pick her up last night in a spirit fuelled haze. I imagine there was a purpose to her seductive after all. "Lose her, sir? Who was she and why would you be concerned?"

Part 5

Prince Guy looks discombobulated. Then his eyes narrow. "You jest."

Ruefully I confess, "I appear to have imbibed an excessive quantity of spirits. I can remember nothing of last night, nor of its purpose."

"It was you and that woman's anniversary, of something insignificant, date; you'd spent so much time planning it I felt abandoned."

I'm surprised to see the soft curve to his lips, rather than a teasing smirk. But it must be mere banter, a paramour? Me? My days are devoted to serving my master. I have no hope for anything other.

I remember the love I saw in her eyes, as she lay satiated in my arms. Nor do I deserve it. "Paramour?" I shake my head. "The drink stole my memory not my wits, you cannot fool me."

"You seriously don't remember Poppy?" My master looks unimpressed.

I shake my head confused.

"She has the power to heal and amplify magic, she is a bottomless well in fact. It is essential she belongs to Avari. You will continue as her paramour and not let her suspect the truth."

My master returns to his book, the conversation is over.

However, it isn't. I remember next to nothing of the woman and absolutely nothing of our relationship. I need more information if I'm to act the part. And more assurance that it is the truth. I have no desire to hurt her and less to look a fool.

Chapter 2

Part 1

Prince Guy, with a fake show of distaste fills me in on what he knew of mine and Miss Poppy's relationship. I smile as he mentions how determined and headstrong she is, or so poorly tamed as he phrased it. Still, it seems surreal that I should beg my master to allow his woman to be my paramour; and me infatuated? I scoff at the idea, I have never felt that way about another. More likely, he told me to acquire her for him, which I dutifully did.

I take diligent notes, yet I still feel unequal to the task. Did we have in jokes as lovers do, pet names for each other only whispered in bed, how does she truly like her coffee, what are her favourite meals; I can foresee so many pitfalls. I need to know more about her than the things my master was privy to. Especially as a dangerous organisation wish to misuse her magical powers. I remember nothing about that either, and Prince Guy can only tell me so much, as I'd given him only the bare bones of my investigation thus far.

I spend my morning in the library researching. The conclusion is that I should spend time with Miss Poppy, visit sites known to us and hopefully my memories will be triggered and return. However, I cannot do that openly and remain undiscovered. Knowing her timetable, I stealthily follow Miss Poppy and Princess Sherry to the student's lounge.

Princess Sherry takes Miss Poppy's hand and pulls her to a table. "You must tell me all about your date with Jasper."

If I'd had any suspicions remaining that my master was in jest, they would now be allayed. Miss Poppy blushes. I'm surprised, she didn't seem the sort.

"It was that good?" teases Princess Sherry.

Miss Poppy blushes deeper and I'm charmed.

Prince Fenn swaggers into the room, spots the women, and drapes himself over Miss Poppy's shoulders. I may not love her, but she is mine, more future wife than paramour according to my master. My instinct is to march over and remove her from his reach. I force myself to remain hidden and subdue my almost overwhelming need to protect her, by reminding myself of who Prince Luxure is. He is merely exhibiting his normal behaviour to all he meets, not merely my intended. Besides the more people I observe her with the better I will know her.

Part 2

She edges away from Prince Luxure, who was so close his breath must have been tickling her neck. He shuffles nearer still and stage whispers by her ear. "Arriving in my lecture so flushed, whatever had you been up to?"

Once again, I have the urge to intervene, to rescue her from his attentions. Struggling to hold my body in check, I scold myself for my lack of restraint.

She turns her head, giving him the attention he seeks. He winks seductively at her, and I clench my fists.

"Hey, personal space, remember; and I've already apologised for my lateness."

As I listen to their conversation it transpires that Miss Poppy is only wanton in my company, in others she is a lovely mixture of demure and kind, yet firm. How winsome.

Grayson enters the common room to attend to Princess Sherry. His presence makes me wonder… Was Miss Poppy still under the sway of spirits this morning, does she have a similar reaction to them as Grayson.

I wish to know the truth. Therefore, I casually stroll past the lounge as she leaves, and nod to her. Once I have her attention, I let my gaze run up her legs, linger on her skirt, before returning it to her eyes and giving her a knowing wink. Her cheeks flush scarlet, and her eyes sparkle with lust. Seconds later she is gone, halfway to her next lecture. I'd meant to tease her, that has backfired, I wish we were still in my room alone together. However, I refrain from chasing after her and return to my master.

Part 3

Miss Poppy is venturing into town this afternoon. For her to catch sight of me within the academy walls, would be considered coincidental. However, seeing me outside would be a different matter. I decide to go in disguise.

Poppy heads straight towards the stall whose wares I am feigning an interest in. Our eyes meet and I see a promise in them that disturbs me, seeing that she is my paramour. Who is she really, this woman I am destined to marry? I wink at her. "See anything you fancy, darling?"

She smiles flirtatiously. "I do have my eye on a particular something. I'm not sure though..."

I want her. She must see it, even if only subconsciously, as her cheeks darken to a fetching shade of pink and her pupils dilate. But why such an unusual reaction on my part. "Perhaps a drink to help you decide. I know a charming tavern we could withdraw to?"

Unbridled joy, that is the look on my paramour's face. "I'd like that."

"My name is Sirius, and yours?"

"Cara." The side of her lips quirk into a cheeky half-smile as she peers deep into my eyes. Let's play this game it will be fun; her look seems to suggest.

We have a drink, more follow. I'm downing stiff drinks quicker than Prince Fenn on a bender, while I flirt with her, all the while entertaining a slim hope that she will call it a night and return to the academy. No that's a lie, I want her right here and now, would sit her on our table if decorum allowed it. I reason with myself that at least if she lets me take her, I won't have to feel guilty about using her for the sake of Avari. Of course, I have no intention of going that far, just far enough to know…

"Shall we?" I let my eyes slide away to the stairwell.

She's obviously excited, eager to acquiesce and yet she asks, consideration in her tone, "Are you sure?"

I neck my drink, rise from my seat, and hold out my hand. She takes it in hers and squeezes me. Hand in hand, like lovers, we retreat upstairs.

Part 4

Poppy is snuggled against me, she looks so innocent asleep, so at peace. I wonder how she will react to seeing me later at the academy. What emotions will I be able to discern flickering across her face.

Having disentangle myself from her limbs, I head towards the bathroom. I glance back at her sleeping form and get an odd sense of déjà vu, mixed heavily with guilt. Which is strange, I wasn't the one cheating on my paramour; although I did succumb to my desires and keep her awake most of the night, again. I marvel at my behaviour when I'm with her, however what surprises me most is the affection I still harbour towards her, even though evidence of her duplicity marks both our bodies.

I make sure to be walking down the corridor she needs to transverse between lectures, as her first one finishes. She appears tired, however her eyes light up on seeing me and she gives me an open smile, at odds with the lust she displayed in them for Sirius. I feel anger but rein it back as I gently brush her hair away from her neck, to reveal one of the marks I left on her last night. "What is this?" I let a little of my annoyance feed into my voice but keep my valet smile securely in place.

To my surprise she laughs good naturedly at me. "You know full well and if you'd wanted to pretend otherwise you should have magicked your hair different and not given your name as Sirius."

I'm confused, Prince Guy didn't mention that she knows my alter ego. What else hasn't my master told me.

"Are you OK?" her voice is now concerned.

I think of another reason for a puzzled expression. "I was merely wondering if there is a particular look you would like me to try, next time."

Her face softens, and the most charming of smiles graces her lips. "When I first saw you, I thought you the most attractive man I had ever seen. But now I know you. You're tender, passionate, brave, loyal, clever, kind and witty. You have a sense for the adventure and are always ready to try new things with me. True you are an incorrigible tease, yet you treat me as your partner in all senses of the word. I feel safe with you, safe to show you all that I am." Her cheeks flush. "You're my best friend and I love you. I don't mind what manner of guise you wear; you're all I want Jasper."

It seems I was tormenting myself for no reason; my paramour is an honest woman, her face an open book for me to read. But did I love her back, or have I always only felt this way, guilt for seducing someone so winsome for my master.

Part 5

I'm heading back to my master's chambers, a few days later, when Violet storms up to me. Her ire is amusing, would be more so if I'd caused it on purpose.

As is her want, she doesn't bother with small talk cutting straight to her issue with me. "Why are you ignoring my darling Poppy? You told her you were busy. That is a lie. I know you were drinking with Fenn, Hawke and Lance last night. She should never have developed feelings for you. But you enticed them and now I will not have her hurt and pining. Explain yourself."

To my chagrin, it's true, even after all those lovely things Miss Poppy said about me, I have been avoiding her, therefore I cannot defend myself to Violet. Of course, it's not unreasonable to go out drinking with your friends, but only if you have been showing your paramour all due attention, which I have not. That I have been busy working was not a lie though. Last night may have seemed that way, however I was surreptitiously plying my friends for information about my paramour and our relationship.

Moreover, while Violet is on the war path, Miss Poppy is not. I saw her briefly this morning as I had to help my master with his lecture, and there was no anger on her face as she smiled a greeting at me, only wistfulness.

"You are mistaken; we were discussing venues and activities for my upcoming date with Miss Poppy."

Violet glares at me disbelievingly. "Is that so, well it will be the ultimate day out for my darling, won't it." She gives me a threatening glare and strides away.

My options have disappeared. I feel no more ready to resume my role as Miss Poppy's paramour, alas. However, I can put of the inevitable no longer and set about planning the perfect date as an apology.

Chapter 3

Part 1

Miss Poppy is excited, and it seems relieved, at my invitation to accompany me into town. As I asked, I became aware that my offer was very short notice, however if she had other plans, she didn't mention them.

It had been a tricky thing to organise. According to my master, Miss Poppy often accompanied me on shopping trips for him. I've assumed that I would normally take her to my favourite café as a treat afterwards, however I've made few other conjectures.

My pretence for the trip is writing supplies for my master. As we walk into town, Miss Poppy chats happily to me about her day thus far and her studies. I relax a little, enjoying her company and enthusiasm. My paramour is an intelligent woman, I'm glad. Having made my purchases, we amble to the café and from her demeanour it seems I guessed right.

I let the waiter guide us to a table and ask him for coffee and cake. Unease has crept onto her features. She has two different sorts of coffee beans in her room, one is my favourite, therefore the other must be hers; and the cake is new to the menu, so it cannot be my order. "Is something amiss?"

"No, it's nothing. Are you at liberty to tell me what you've been busy with yet?"

I cannot, obviously, so regale her with tales about valeting instead.

We wander home and pause by the church; I've timed it for the sun set and this evening it is a truly beautiful sight indeed. The moment should be a romantic one and yet she seems sad.

Part 2

From her changed demeanour, I must have made mistakes in town, and I don't want to add to them in bed. Therefore, I've been on my best behaviour, focusing only on her pleasure. Still, she seems reticent as I disrobe her, perhaps she feels shy after we've been apart so long. Feeling uncharacteristically nervous I remove my clothes too; and lie flush alongside her. I want to pull her leg over mine, hold her close and relish in her soft warmth. However, she makes no move to touch me. Assuming she wishes me to chase her and reaffirm my affection, I stroke her back and move my lips slowly towards hers.

"Jasper, please stop."

Why? Have I misjudged things again or is this to punish me for my previous lack of attention. I look into her eyes, see pain and freeze.

"Is there someone else?" she asks quietly.

I'm bewildered.

"Have you fallen in love with another?" she says trying to clarify.

I'm still confused. "Why would you think that?" and why now of all times when I so obviously desire her.

"Because although this isn't the first time that your work has kept you away from me, it's felt different. You haven't been yourself with me when we happen upon each other in the corridors, you were so distracted on our date that you told me things you'd told me before, you ordered me the wrong coffee, you took me to places that should hold special memories for us but obviously don't for you anymore... and now well I can tell that you are merely going through the motions to please me… that you are lying back and thinking of Avari, so to speak." She pauses her eyes full of a sorrow that tugs at my heart and her voice drops to a whisper. "Don't you love me anymore?"

Guilt softens me to uselessness; however, I don't move.

She's seen through my act. That must mean Prince Guy was right, I did love her once. So why can I not remember. It is nonsensical that I remember everything else perfectly well, that only memories of and surrounding my paramour are missing.

"Is Guy making you stay with me, for Avari?"

She must see the truth in my eyes because hers fill with tears and she turns her face from mine. She gulps before talking to the wall. "Why didn't you tell me. You owe me the truth Jasper."

The pain in her words is like daggers stabbing into my heart and she is right. Miss Poppy is my paramour; she loves me or at least did, she doesn't deserve me lying to her. "There is no one else." I say to reassure, and she must hear the sincerity in my voice because she tentatively turns back to face me. "However, in my reality, I haven't fallen out of love with you. I was never in love with you in the first place." I doubt the truth of my words as I utter them, if it is not love I feel for her right now, what is it? And yet, how can that be when I have given my body and soul to Prince Guy.

Her eyes full of betrayal, peer bewildered into mine. In them I see her world falling apart, her heart breaking and mine breaks too at her sorrow. I've phrased my words poorly and hasten to make amends. "Prince Guy has assured me that I did indeed love you before. However, I've lost all memories of our courtship and only have the tiniest fragments of memory left concerning you."

Part 3

"What do you mean, you can't remember me? I mean it makes sense of your behaviour today but..." she pauses lost for words.

"When I awoke in your arms after our previous date, you were a stranger to me."

"But you kept me from my lecture…"

"A very attractive stranger. Who I had an irresistible urge to prolong my acquaintance with, at least for a couple of hours." Remembering our time together, I'm back ready for action.

I rub against her gently and her eyes go wide. I press a finger to her lips, "Do not ask me to stop this time for my sake."

I move my mouth to nuzzle her neck, while using my fingers to stroke over the less sensitive parts of her body.

She doesn't tell me to stop, however her body is tense. "May I continue?"

"Why do you want to?" She buries her head in my chest. Her body doesn't shake and she is perfectly quiet, yet I can feel her tears tricking over me.

What was I thinking to continue. I hug her to me tighter and kiss her hair. "Because..." I hesitate, thinking how to frame the answer.

She pulls away from me. "I'm sorry Jasper, I can't. I don't know this you."

"This me?"

"The you who has no memories of me. The you who only wishes to serve and protect, Guy. I am once more nothing but a job to be done. I have no idea what a you who doesn't love me is capable of... I've lost you." This time she cries in earnest.

I pull her back to me and hold her close until her tears subside. I brush her hair away from her face and realize she's cried herself to sleep. What sort of paramour am I?

Part 4

Having ok'd it with my master, I return to Miss Poppy's chambers the following morning. I stroke her cheek until she awakens and present her with a cup of coffee.

She takes it and cradles it in her hands. "Why are you still here, doesn't Guy need you?"

"My master can manage on his own this morning, I'm on a highly important mission."

"What mission?" Puzzlement has her sitting up straighter and leaning forward a little. She charms me no end.

"Operation win my paramour back."

Her eyes slide down to her coffee. "For Avari," she whispers to it and adds. "Oh Jasper, I don't know what I want. What I can bear."

Sitting beside her I let my fingers work their way through her hair. "No, not for Avari for us. And surely you want me to regain my memories of you so that you can love me with that wild abandon of our first time." She pulls a face that I cannot fathom. Then I remember, we currently have different first times.

"I meant if you don't ever… remember what I was to you," she says.

I could lose her, an important asset for my master. Is that why my gut churns, why I instinctively want to hug her to myself? "You don't believe lightening never strikes twice. That our love so unlikely it was only possible because of a certain beat of a dragon's wing?" While she thinks on this, I run my mind over our previous conversations. Miss Poppy is an honest, positive, and open person, I wouldn't have expected this reaction from her. My mind snags on one of her comments and I ask, "What did you mean by, 'once more merely a job to be done?'"

Part 5

She avoids the question by saying, "The problem is, I don't understand why you loved me in the first place."

"You are pretty, your smile is quite charming, and I've been observing you, you are diligent in your work, kind to all, loyal to your friends. All admirable traits." Love can be a transient thing like the warming effect of whisky. Many people marry for political alliances, and I'd always assumed if I were to marry it would be for that reason. To marry Miss Poppy, a woman who loves me, who I can be proud of, who I desire...

"You say those things, but they would equally apply to Princess Sherry and numerous other people."

She's right the things I chose were banal, and in no way sum up the feelings she induces in me; for those I have no words. I could show her, however that will have to wait for another time. I try a different approach. "I've known you so briefly. A love so easily given, would be a fragile thing. Robustness comes from a love forged with time. Are you willing to reforge that type of love with me, have you the patience for it?"

She looks at me, a faint smile of hope on her lips. "You're right, I want to be yours. I will trust you, trust us, and wait."

I spell her coffee back to the optimum temperature. "Then please rate your beverage."

She takes a sip. "A ten out of ten as always."

I nudge her gently. "If we are to be real paramours, there should be no lies between us. That is how my master like his coffee, I cannot believe you have identical tastes. I want to relearn your preferences."

"Very similar to Guy's, although I prefer a different coffee bean to him. I'm sorry I don't know which one, I relied on you to remember."

"Then I shall make it a priority to rediscover your favourite. Why don't you have them in your room?"

She blushes. "They're too expensive for every day."

"Well, that's a good clue." And no wonder she was disappointed in the café. Although the beans I prefer don't come cheap and she has those...

She shifts as if uncomfortable. "Do you wish me to tell you the story of us. The whole truth from my perspective?"

Worried again that there are things my master did not tell me, I steel myself and nod.

Chapter 4

Part 1

My paramour sits on her bed, watching me digest the information she has relayed. It's a lot to take in. Especially as she gave me two versions of our first night together, as she didn't remember it herself. She believes the second version I told her, and I agree, or perhaps hope, that it makes more sense. Still, I'm amazed she forgave me, I deserved animosity and yet she loves me. My heart warms. "Please rest assured Miss Poppy, that although my memories are gone, I am not the man you first met. I couldn't put my masters wishes before yours in that way, I would do things differently now if I found myself in the same position."

It is obvious that my paramour remains an unhappy woman and it occurs to me that I did just that, put my masters wishes before hers this time around too. I decide to lighten the heavy mood we've fallen into. "Did I perchance gift you the nightgown you are currently wearing." The one I'd chosen to magic her into after she'd fallen asleep, the one she'd inexplicably hidden at the bottom of her wardrobe.

She looks down, blushes, and grabs her sheets to hide herself away. "Yes."

Chuckling, I gently tug at the sheet. "Come on, there isn't an inch of you that I've not seen, caressed, and kissed.

She clutches it tighter. "That was the old you."

"You are forgetting the morning in my bed and the night at the Inn. Both experiences I found immensely pleasurable."

"You look far too smug," she grouches.

"And why not when my master has given me such a winsome paramour." I tuck her hair behind her ear, ready to bring my lips to hers.

She turns her head away and I pause, even though she is exposing her neck to me.

"You lost all memory of me. Since that morning has your work led you to... I mean before I became important to you…"

I cannot bear her misery and feel overwhelmingly glad that apart from performing my daily duties for my master, my only employment has been to ensure she remained my paramour. "I may not have any memory of our courtship; however, you are imprinted on my heart. Even if I was ordered to have another, I couldn't, because I desire only you."

I'm trained in the art of seduction, she knows that, yet she must see the truth in my eyes for when I bring my lips to hers, she kisses me back. A thrill of happiness zings through me and I give a contented sigh. She gives me a bashful smile in return, and I vow to recover my memories. Because loathe I am to confess it, even to myself, all memories of my paramour are precious to me, I do not want to be denied any of them, not even the most fleeting of snatched moments that I've spent in her company.

Part 2

The most pertinent reason to reclaim my memories, though, is to keep my paramour safe from those who would steal her away to use for their own gain. I also want to recover them for Miss Poppy's sake, for although she tried to hide it, I can tell that she is upset that she is the soul keeper of our shared memories. On a darker note, I wish to know the truth about our first night together.

A two-pronged approach is in order. Firstly, to find out the cause of my memory lapse. Excess spirits can stop memories being laid down. However, only my memories of Miss Poppy are missing, which points to something more nefarious. I ask her to tell me everything she can remember about our last date; however small a detail could be significant. Her thinking face is adorable. I laugh at myself for having become totally smitten again, so quickly.

Secondly, I need to spend time with Miss Poppy and see if my memory can be jogged. She is delighted with this idea, and we agree to another date in town, two days hence where we will revisit all our favourite haunts; I look forward to that immensely. Tonight though, I will return to the bars she said we'd frequented on that fateful night.

I trudge towards the last bar on her list, so far I have gained no insights, been told nothing of import. The bar tender seems an agreeable sort and the bar upmarket, if quiet. Surprisingly he remembers me and chuckles. "Not with your paramour tonight, I'd imagined the two of you couldn't survive for more than a few seconds apart."

If I were Miss Poppy, no doubt I would go a deep shade of red. In her honour, I let my cheeks flush a subtle shade of pink and he laughs jovially at me. I buy him a drink and he immediately considers me one of his best friends. Playing the part, I dutifully listen to everything he has to tell me about his life and his bar, while subtly pressing him for more pertinent information.

Part 3

According to my new acquaintance, the bar was equally quiet when I was here with Miss Poppy, as most of its clientele arrive later in the evening. Therefore, he noticed the man arrive, sit opposite us, nurse his beer and stare. We were too enamoured of each other to notice, and as he wasn't causing any trouble, the bartender let him be. I sketch a man from his description. He is not someone I can put a name to, although he does seem slightly familiar. I order another drink and ponder.

Red eyes, pink and white daisies in her dark hair … now I remember. His wife claimed to have information that she would divulge to my master and no other. I said it was impossible, although I could arrange a meeting with his valet, and with enough monetary incentive she reluctantly agreed. The majority of women are charmed by my alter ego. However, that one, showed me little interest as anything other than a go between, nor was she interested in me as a valet. Her husband arrived as I was leaving and didn't give me a particularly friendly look but then why should he, I was his wife's client not his. That he was staring at me and Miss Poppy in the bar needs investigating though.

His house is not that far away, I finish my drink and make my way there. He opens the door and laughs overly loudly; he has already been drinking, I can smell it on his breath.

"She's gone back to her sister in Avari. You'll have to spend your coin elsewhere tonight."

"It's you I wish to talk to. May I?"

"Why not!" He ushers me into his hall. Sweeps detritus of a chair and gestures for me to sit. "You weren't the only one. Did you know that?" He pours us both a drink.

"Your wife is a talented artist; the coin was for a design that my master commissioned. If you'd suspected otherwise, you should have confronted me at the time, and I could have shown it to you."

He laughs derisively. "Lies, I'm not stupid. I caught her in our bed with another of her 'patrons', beside that alleged commission wasn't entered in her ledger."

It should have been, part of our deal was that the transaction looked legitimate.

Part 4

He knocks back his drink and pours himself another. "Such a pretty thing, that woman of yours. You shouldn't have rubbed it in my face, been all over each other. But now I've taken her from you, like you took my wife from me."

I scowl at the pain he has caused Miss Poppy. "You said yourself that your wife returned to Avari to live with her sister. The commission was genuine even if it wasn't recorded. What did you do to me and how?"

"How? I'm a bartender, it wasn't difficult to make sure I served you. As for what, a simple forget potion. It removes all traces of your last relationship from your mind. I bought it for myself. I'd had it for days; I'd be about to take it, remember a sweet moment and not be able to go through with it… I still love her you see." He starts to sob.

Of their own accord my hands go to his collar. There is no way that potion was a simple one. "Where did you buy it?"

The moonlight fades as I enter the backstreets of town. I think of myself as having a good knowledge of the things that lie hidden beneath the surface, that exist only in the shadows. But potions for the lovesick, I've never had a need for such things nor contemplated their existence. The bar I do know. It would be unwise to turn up in my present form, so I put in some eyedrops and enchant myself into a more appropriate persona. I knock at an inconspicuous door, no different from the others leading to the surrounding houses and I am admitted entrance. In the cellar, patrons drink, gamble and philander. How well did my informants ex-husband know this place, I wonder to myself.

The bartender points me towards a woman sat in the corner next to the fire. Her white hair is tied up in a bun and her eyes mark her as a citizen of Ira. As I approach, she beckons me to sit next to her. She squeezes my thigh, which I pointedly ignore.

"How can I help you, a potion to set a fire in another's belly, or perhaps one to temporarily change your form into the one they desire most?" She chuckles at me and her fingertips dance along my leg. "Or do you need some help with timing issues or perhaps you lack a certain firmness?"

I grab her wrist. "I want to recover the memories of the woman I loved. A friend bought a potion from you that I now regret drinking."

She gives me a smile so calculating, I can almost imagine that I can see golden coins glinting in her eyes…

Part 5

With Miss Poppy's hand gently enclosed in mine, we arrive at the coffee shop. Seeing that it is vacant, I ask for our preferred table by the window and order my beloved paramour her favourite coffee, sky apple tarte tatin and a pot of cream.

She rewards me with a delighted smile, "How did you find out?"

Not wishing to let on the truth quite yet, I reply. "I asked the waiter."

"Thank you, you're making this day so special." Her lips move instinctively to mine, and I kiss her lightly. She seems so euphoric, it is tempting to deepen our kiss and see if she remains blissfully unaware of our surroundings, however I don't want anyone else hearing my sweet paramour's moans.

I'd had other plans; however, they will keep for our next date. Food finished; I lead her to the luxury hotel room I've booked.

"I'm sorry about the other day."

I'm surprised, my beloved has nothing to be sorry about.

"I love you Jasper. I would never give up on us. Even if you never recover your memories, I will fight every day to make you glad that I'm your paramour."

Her look is so ardent, that I barely supress a chuckle. "You don't need to." I lower my mouth and whisper huskily into her ear, of intimate things known only to the two of us. Then I add, "I love you."

Her demeanour turns shy. I scoop her into my arms and carry her over to the bed. Still bashful she trails her fingers over the silk bedding.

In pretend petulance, I say, "Focus only on me."

She laughs. "Jealous of the sheets?"

"Perhaps." I lift her from the bed and hold her against me. She wraps me in her arms and legs, bringing her lips to mine. I kiss her gently and caress her skin with unfeigned tenderness. I love her indeed, she is first in my heart, and I intend to prove that to her over and over again…