Chapter LVII

Familia

Author's Note: This is an extremely personal chapter for me. I wrote this chapter in 2022 then was hospitalized in January 2023. After that, I knew I needed to do a full re-write along with editing. So it has been a long-time-coming and very difficult. Somedays I could only deal with one page at a time. It was a good, healing, sort of process though. I tried to stay true to the characters, but a lot of my, and my family's, experiences were folded into these scenes.

Lightning.

Thunder.

Heat.

Cold.

Everything all at once.

Nothing at all.

Pain.

Confusion.

Hearing came first.

It was slow and confusing. Sounds warbled and broke. It reminded her of the Bangor radio station they could almost listen to on clear nights. What was that station? 101-point-?

Darkness.

Sounds came again, but nothing was familiar.

Beeping. It was a constant electronic beep, but she was too tired to be annoyed. So tired.

Darkness.

She could smell. Strong scents penetrated the darkness. Metal. Latex. Alcohol.

What? Where?

Darkness.

Alcohol. Rhythmic beeping. Pain.

Oh. Was she in the hospital?

Why? How? What happened? The last thing she remembered-the last thing was-what?

Panic spider-webbed across her psyche. She didn't remember.

Pain.

Hospital.

Weak.

Darkness.

Henry. Mother. Emma. Ogres. Ogres? Ogres!

Darkness.

Regina woke again. Her thoughts were fuzzy, scattered. She forced her eyelids to open. She blinked and tried to focus her eyes. Plain white ceiling tiles swam into focus.

Her head pounded, and it felt like nails were being driven into her eyes.

Her stomach roiled and burnt.

Every inch of her body ached. Her skin was hypersensitive and the blanket on her felt like it was flaying her skin away..

What had happened? What had she done?

Her magic was gone. She couldn't feel it at all. During the curse, she'd been able to feel it, but not use it. Now she felt nothing but pain and fear. She felt handicapped, incomplete, and weak.

Darkness.

Metal. She tasted metal, Her entire mouth was sour and sharp with it. Disgusting.

Regina opened her eyes and winced. Everything hurt, but she could deal with it. Had to deal with it.

She turned her head and it was as heavy as lead and her neck was as weak as water. The slight movement made her nauseous.

She fought to keep her eyes open. She had to get up, get out, and get her magic back.

Regina had tubes and wires going into and out of her body. There were machines, monitors, and medical equipment around her.

There was a tangled mop of blonde hair and pale folded limbs on her lap.

Emma.

Emma was here.

Regina's heart fluttered, and she smiled.

Emma had stayed with her. Whatever had happened, whatever she had done, Emma was still beside her.

It didn't lessen the pain, but it made it more bearable.

Regina tried to reach out and touch Emma. She wanted to brush her hair out of her face and wake her with a soft kiss.

She couldn't.

Regina's fingers flexed, her wrist twisted and her elbow bent. Her arm was so heavy! She could only lift her arm an inch or two.

"Em-"

Her voice was a raspy croak. She sounded more like a frog than a queen.

Emma jerked awake. She tossed her hair out of her face and immediately looked at her. She looked at Regina like nothing and no one else mattered.

"Regina!"

Emma stumbled to her feet and leaned over the bed rail.

"You're awake! Thank God!"

Emma's enthusiasm was wonderful. Her care and concern warmed her. It was like walking in sunshine.

"Let me get someone!"

Emma rushed to the door. Regina tried her best to keep her eyes open.

"They're on the way. The nurses and Doctor Malcolm."

Emma wrapped her hands around one of her own. She was so warm!

"Are you okay? How are you feeling? Are you in pain? I don't-"

Emma was frantic, the same way she had been when Henry had been in the hospital.

Henry.

She squeezed Emma's fingers as hard as she could.

"Henry."

Speaking made her head spin and throb. She had to know where their son was and if he was okay.

Please. She sent a prayer to all the gods and spirits she knew of. Any powers that would listen to an Evil Queen. Please let Henry be okay.

Regina tried to sit up, and every ounce of air rushed out in a gasp. Her stomach, back, and chest were in agony. The pain was awful, but she fought through it. She got up a few inches, but Emma pushed her back down.

Emma linked their fingers and returned her squeeze. She brushed her hair out of her face. Her fingers brushed over Regina's skin and lingered to keep their connection.

"Henry is fine. Safe. All the kids are safe. You need to take it easy. Rest."

Emma's sweet smile morphed into a sour scowl.

"You don't remember?"

Emma looked towards the doors.

"Where are those damn nurses?"

Now that she knew Henry was safe, Regina could focus a little.

The last thing she remembered was driving to pick Henry up from school. After that, things were faded, fuzzy, and fractured.

"How-"

Her mouth was dry, and tasted like metal. When she licked her lips, they cracked and bled.

How long had she been in the hospital? Injured. Unconscious. Vulnerable. Weak.

She had IVs in her arms, EKG wires on her chest, and, to her horror, a catheter tube.

"-how long?"

Emma continued to gently hold and caress her face.

"Two days. Closer to two and a half now."

What!

"The doctor can tell you more, but it was bad. Really fucking bad. "

Emma had tears in her eyes.

Regina couldn't even lift her hand to wipe Emma's tears. She was weak, useless, a burden.

"We kept everyone out."

Emma explained.

"It's been the staff, Esmeralda, and me. Sometimes Granny. Henry is with David and Snow. I didn't want him to see you and freak out."

Esmeralda and Granny?

Emma grinned down at her. "He is going to be so damn happy you're awake. I'll have to tie him up and lock him in a closet to keep him away now."

Regina focused again. Henry?

Emma kissed each of her cheeks, her forehead, the tip of her nose, and then finally her lips.

"All right, Sheriff. Give her some room."

People, three women, came into the room.

Too crowded. Too much. Too weak. Too tired. Too vulnerable.

"Welcome back, Your Majesty."

She knew that voice and the woman it belonged to. The panic eased a little. Cia.

Her healer, Cia, was safe. Regina wasn't afraid of her. Even if she was, Emma would keep her safe. Emma was here and would keep her safe.

She was so tired. Why was she so tired? So weak?

What happened?

"How-" Even speaking hurt . "-bad?"

Emma's face pinched and she frowned as she stepped back. Cia and her team swarmed around Regina instead.

She was too tired to be humiliated. The nurses poked and prodded at her while Cia spoke. Emma hovered beside her, one hand always on some part of her body. Holding her hand, patting her knee, touching her cheek.

Emma's touch and presence grounded her, and made her feel almost-okay.

Cia was speaking and Regina tried to listen. It was an unusual mix of medical and magical jargon. Reina was in a fog, though. It was getting harder and harder to focus. Cia's words were blurring together. She knew she should be able to follow and understand, but she was so tired.

Cia noticed and sighed. She shoo'd the nurses away from the bedside.

"The long and short of it is that you're an idiot."

Cia tapped on a tablet, a scowl on her face.

"A heroic idiot who went too far."

Idiot!

Heroic?

The Charmings were the heroic idiots, not her.

You'll recover, but you're going to need rest antibiotics, and no- "

Cia cut her hand through the air like a blade.

"I mean absolutely no magic. You have wildly overextended yourself. We almost had to plan a royal funeral for you. I am serious, Majesty. We're still not sure if you are going to crash again or not. You may still might need surgery. That trick you pulled with the silver should have killed you. Honestly, it still might. You are damn lucky."

"Hey-"

Emma piped up, aggressive, ready to defend her.

"She saved Ruby's life! She saved a lot of lives! Give her a break! If you can't help her, I will yank her out of here so fast your ye olde head will spin. I'll take her to a real fucking hospital where-"

Cia leveled her gaze at Emma and then cut her eyes to Regina.

"Sheriff, I know. I'm not saying she made the wrong decision."

The edges of Regina's vision were going gray and she needed a moment to gather herself.

"Can I -"

She was fading fast. Everything hurt. She wanted to stay awake, though. She had to keep going. Recover. Shed her weakness like a snakeskin.

"-have some water?"

Her mouth was dry and she needed a sip then she would sit up and feel better.

"No, Majesty. You are on NPO until we know you don't need surgery."

Cia shook her head.

"I'm sorry."

NPO? She knew that meant something. What was it? Damn. Regina fought to keep her eyes open. She was so tired. So weak. Had they put a sedative in her IV?

She couldn't give in, she needed to know more, to understand what happened, to remember what she'd done.

Pain and exhaustion hit her in high and inescapable waves. Regina was fighting to stay afloat, and losing. She had to-

Emma appeared over her again.

"Rest, Baby. I'm here."

No. She had to stay up. She had to find out more. She had to know. Her head fell back onto the thin pillow. It was harder and harder to focus, to stay awake. She needed to see Henry. To see Nan. To find out what had happened to her town. She needed-

She slipped into darkness mid-thought.

Regina woke up periodically: exhausted, confused, and humiliated.

Emma or Esmeralda, sometimes both, were there with her. She tried to stay conscious as long as she could, but she couldn't even last an hour at a time.

The nurses, and her doctor floated in and out and woke her up fiddling with monitors or poking her for blood. They spoke to her. Sometimes it made sense and sometimes it didn't.

Beeping.

Tugging.

Lights.

Regina opened her eyes and four people were hovering over her. They were talking and doing things. It took her a moment to realize that there were bags of blood hanging above her.

Blood? A transfusion?

Cia assured her it was necessary, and that she was going to be okay.

It was not okay! Everything was out of her control. Her own body had betrayed her. They were pumping some stranger's fluids into her! Monitors screeched. Her chest ached. She felt powerless, at the mercy of medicine and strangers. She was hanging onto her sanity by a thread, and it was fraying.

The sounds, the tubes, the needles, and people's invasive touches. It was constant and too much.

It was all too much!

Her chest tightened and she couldn't breathe.

Too much!

Someone put a plastic tube around her nose, and that only made things worse. She reached up with shaky hands and tried to pull it off. She needed it, and all the damn tubes and wires, off of her.

Regina hated it all. The fear. The weakness. The violation.

She couldn't do this!

"Hey."

Emma appeared over her. Had she been there the entire time? Regina didn't know, and couldn't care. Emma was here, that was all she needed to know.

Emma grabbed her hands and held them still. She pulled each hand up and pressed a soft kiss to each knuckle.

"You're okay. I'm here. Esmeralda is here. You are safe and the docs are helping you."

Emma held her hands tight. She was pale, dark circles surrounded her sunken eyes. She looked as tired as Regina felt.

"You're okay, Baby. Take some deep breaths. Breathe with me."

She pulled Regina's hand up and placed it on her chest.

"You're safe."

There were tears in Emma's eyes.

"I'm here."

Emma's heartbeat was steady under her hand. She was warm, solid, and strong.

"I'm here, baby. The Doc can explain it to you later, but right now you need to calm down. Breathe and relax and stay with me."

Emma's voice cracked.

"Stay with me."

A warm hand settled on her forehead.

"You are safe here, Little One."

Esmeralda smiled down at her.

"Rest now."

Regina smelled cinnamon, and a cool tingle sank into her head. The pain eased, her eyelids fluttered, and she drifted into the darkness again.

Regina woke up again slowly. Sunlight streamed through a nearby window. Fear, confusion, and powerlessness washed over her in waves. She could only remember bits and pieces of what had happened. How long had she slept? Minutes, months, millennia?

Esmeralda was in a chair between her and the window. She looked exhausted, uncomfortable and wore borrowed clothes. She was wearing borrowed clothes. The orange tee-shirt and gray sweatpants would be a normal, if sloppy, ensemble on anyone else. On Esmeralda, it looked bizarre.

Regina felt confused and groggy, but better. She could feel her magic now. It was a small flicker, less than when she'd started training, but it was there.

She tested herself. She could move her fingers and toes, and when she tried to sit up, she did. Regina winced as she felt her muscles as they stretched and cramped. Her back was a knotted mess. It was a manageable amount of pain, though. Nothing like the all-encompassing pain she'd been in earlier.

Regina felt more awake, clear, and more human than she had in days. How many days? She wasn't sure.

Her mouth tasted salty. Saline, she supposed. She was still on IV liquids and medications. She had tubes in both of her arms. The tubes were clear, no more blood.

Good. Well, better than before. She wasn't dying, at least.

She had almost died. Again.

Regina had danced with death time after time. Some day (years) she'd craved it.

She'd entertained the thought of suicide more than once. It had been a sort of morbid fascination of hers for years. Since the night she'd felt Daniel grow cold and stiff in her arms. She had tried a few times but had survived. Drugs, alcohol, magic, nothing had taken her out of her misery.

Not that she had been the only one to try. Assassins, executioners, and her dearly departed husband tried to end her. She'd driven Snow to the brink and thought she would finally die. The idiot girl's Snow's pity and conscience had gotten the better of her and she'd stopped the arrows at the execution.

One more reason to hate Snow White.

She'd been ready to die. To be with Nan and Daniel. To be out of her wretched existence.

Death had been the background radiation of her life. She had accepted it, welcomed it, gleefully chased it. Even in Storybrooke. Right up to her last brush with death. When she'd taken the death curse, she'd been ready to die.

Now she was not. She didn't want to die. She'd been terrified. She didn't remember much from the last few days, but she remembered that.

She remembered fear and pain. So much pain.

Regina thought the death curse had hurt. She'd thought she'd known pain. She'd known nothing.

She still hurt. Her stomach, her head, and even her bones ached. Her throat felt awful like she'd swallowed molten iron. Her skin felt hypersensitive, and the tubes and tape felt like jagged glass. Every small move felt like torture.

On top of the pain, there was humiliation. She had tubes going in and out of her everywhere. She had a catheter tube, which made her want to scream and rage, but also cry and shake.

This was too much. It was all too much.

She knew Henry was safe. That Ruby, Esmeralda, and Emma were okay.

She looked over at Nan. Esmeralda was okay. She was here with her, at her side. She or Emma had been there every time she woke up. She hadn't been alone, not even for a minute.

Tears welled up in her eyes. A small sob scraped out of her throat.

Esmeralda's eyes popped open and she stood.

"Little One."

Nan was instantly at her side.

"Nightingale."

There was more white in Esmeralda's hair now than there had been before. Before she'd landed herself in the hospital.

"How do you feel?"

Confused. Angry. In pain.

"Fine, Nan. I'm-"

A sharp pain cut through her midsection.

She winced but forced a smile.

"-fine."

Esmeralda pushed her hair out of her face.

"My stubborn, brave, amazing nightingale."

Tears welled in Esmeralda's eyes.

"Your father would be so proud of you. We always knew you would do great things, but-"

Tears slid down her face.

"You were magnificent, Little One."

Esmeralda pulled her into a tight hug.

"Magnificent, but-"

Esmeralda gave her a gentle shake.

"Never do that again. I almost lost you."

Regina could feel tears falling into her hair.

"I almost lost you."

Regina wrapped her arms around Nan as best she could. The tubes and wires tugged and kinked every time she moved. She held on, and let her own tears fall.

"Baby?"

Regina looked up.

Emma stood at the door. She wore her khaki work pants, a white tank, and her signature red jacket. Regina had spent hours cleaning, repairing, and deodorizing that jacket. Emma was so attached to the ugly thing. Henry had begged Regina to restore it to its pre-Enchanted Forest glory. at Henry's request. She hadn't been able to refuse two sets of ridiculous puppy dog eyes.

"You're awake. Really awake this time."

Emma rushed over to her.

"Regina."

Emma said her name softly and sweetly, like a song. She rushed over. like Henry had done when he was a child, and gave her a bear hug and held tight.

They didn't say anything, but the embrace was everything Regina needed and wanted.

Regina was confused. She remembered some things, but not enough to tie everything together.

"Tell me everything."

She looked from Emma to Esmeralda and back again.

"And where is my Blackberry? I need to make some calls."

Emma blinked, then threw her head back and laughed.

"Yeah. You're feeling better."

Cia and her nurses declared her healthy enough that surgery was no longer a concern. So she was finally allowed to eat and drink.

Regina could only handle a little bit at a time, though. They wouldn't let her have coffee. She wouldn't admit it out loud but doubted she would have been able to stomach it anyway. The heavy metal poisoning from the silver had ravaged her digestive system.

Cia told her that she was healing, but had not mentioned releasing her. Regina had requested (demanded) to stop the IV medication. Exactly nobody had thought that was a good idea.

She wanted to go home. She didn't do well when confined, even if it was for her own good. Being stuck in bed, kept in one room, and kept in a bubble made her nauseous, itchy, and irritable.

Emma, and Esmeralda, and even Granny sat with her. They talked to and updated her on what happened in town.

Regina felt useless, like a broken and discarded doll. She should be helping repair town, to organize, and rebuild. She should be damning her mother to any other realm - far away from her home and family.

She should be at home with her son. Home, where she had control. Home, where she could rest, recover, and be independent again.

She valued her independence and privacy. The humiliation she'd suffered had been almost as bad as the injuries. Regina hated that she'd needed so much help.

After two interminably long days, Cia and her nurses removed all but one of her IV tubes and the EKG wires. She was even cleared to get out of bed and walk.

She had to drag the damn pole with her, and her legs shook, but she was able to hobble like an invalid.

She watched the news, read the papers, and used the hospital room's phone to make calls.

Oison, her deputy, assured her that everything was under control. He was tight-lipped with details and reminded her that she was on medical leave. If she had found a way to use magic via the phone, she would have sent a fireball his way.

She reached out to each department head, and each officer of her mayoral cabinet. They all toe'd an invisible line of placating and reassuring her.

Bastian and Mikel were the only ones that admitted the truth. Esmeralda had told everyone to let her rest, heal, and not bother her with problems. Most of the people close to her either knew Esmeralda or had known of her via her father. They were loyal to her, but they had all loved Henry. So they obeyed her without question.

Regina should have been livid. She hated being undermined more than she hated being coddled. She was too tired to be mad. Besides every phone call, even if it was as short as ten minutes, exhausted her.

She hadn't seen Henry in days. She missed her son. She missed her home. She missed making dinner. She missed spending time with Emma and Henry. She missed breakfast at Granny's. She missed her office. She missed normal.

On the third day of consciousness in the hospital things changed. Esmeralda announced it was time to stop pouting.

She was not pouting. Brooding, perhaps, but queens did not pout.

"It is time to bathe and dress. This bedding needs to be changed. Clean body, clean clothes, clean linen. You will feel better. This is known."

Esmeralda deftly closed off and disconnected her IV. When had she learned how to do that?

"Amancia told me that we can remove these-"

Esmeralda wrinkled her nose.

"-wires from your chest."

Esmeralda reached for Regina's chest. She batted her hands away.

"I can do it!"

Peeling and ripping the sensors off took longer than it should. Her fingers shook and the adhesive was strong. She moved the blankets off of her. Emma had brought two soft throws from home. Granny had brought her a black and white knitted blanket too. Regina was touched that the woman had made it for her. It was soft, lovely, and one of the nicest gifts she'd received in a long time. It took a moment, but she stood up.

Her knees didn't immediately buckle, but her head spun a little. She walked, a slow shuffle, to the ensuite. Regina fought with the ugly gown that someone had tied around her.

She stumbled, and caught herself on the sink.

Esmeralda fussed with the shower but twisted around to check on her immediately. Regina wanted to push her away, but her temper died out.

She did need help, no matter how much she loathed it.

Regina could barely stand in the hospital's tiny shower cubicle. Her legs and arms had trembled so violently that all she could do was brace herself. Esmeralda had washed her hair and body.

The water sluiced pleasantly down her body. It was wonderfully warm. She wanted, needed, to be clean. She couldn't enjoy it though. She was too mortified. If she could have slid into the drain with the water, she would have. She couldn't stand it! She hated her disgusting weakness.

Esmeralda, who still favored her leg, should be resting and recovering too. Instead, she'd helped her bathe, dress, and groom herself. If she insisted on helping people, then there were far more deserving candidates. Far better people than the Evil Queen.

Regina felt awful, physically, mentally, and emotionally. The acidic mix of gratitude and shame festered, ached, and made her feel even worse. That made her temper, never the sweetest, extremely short.

When Esmeralda held out her favorite silk pajama top, Regina snatched it out of her hand.

"I can dress myself!"

Her voice was low and bordered on violent.

"I'm not an invalid!"

She tugged the shirt over her head and snatched the pants.

"I will let your nurses know that you need your bedding refreshed. Then I will take a walk. I would like some fresh air, and we both need to find our calm."

Her tone was light, but Regina knew she'd hurt her Nan's feelings.

Regina didn't say anything else. She didn't have the energy to rein her temper in. She didn't want to take it out on Esmeralda, but couldn't apologize. Not yet, not when she was so frustrated and ashamed.

She leaned on the wall and tugged the silk pajama pants on. She huffed, puffed, and shuffled back towards the hospital bed. She didn't make it. She collapsed in a chair half-way there.

Pathetic. Weak. A broken queen left alone because she'd driven everyone away.

Her dark thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. A cheerful nurse in snoopy-themed scrubs let herelf in. A younger woman, girl really, followed. The girl in white scrubs, a trainee or assistant, changed the bed sheets and made the bed with the three blankets.

Meanwhile, the nurse, Amber, removed the dangling IV from her arm and pressed a cotton ball to her arm.

"No more IVs. We've got you on all oral meds and food. We've got one of the very stylish hospital cups for water."

The big plastic cup was garish, and Regina knew Amber was making a joke, but she was in no mood to laugh.

"Well, Madam Mayor-"

Amber smiled at her. They had been on the PTA together for a few years. She had two or was it three, children. She baked lemon squares for every bake sale.

"-call me or Deandra if you need anything. Lunch was already sent around, but I thought you might be hungrier now. I'll send something along soon."

Deandra followed her out. The younger girl paused at the door.

"Your Majesty-"

She took a deep breath, then rushed back towards Regina.

Regina was helpless. She couldn't fight off a kitten, let alone an angry woman.

The woman grabbed her, wrapped her arms around Regina and-

Hugged her?

"Thank you! Thank you!"

Thanked her?

"For what you did at the school. You didn't have to protect them all, but you did."

The girl squeezed her before letting go.

"You're amazing. Thank you!"

She scurried away before Regina could respond.

That girl had thanked her. Her! She had thanked the Evil Queen. That was unprecedented, unheard of. It was weird.

Regina had pieced together everything she could. She didn't remember everything, but most of it had come back to her.

She'd protected, healed, fought, and almost died.

She'd saved Ruby.

Emma had saved her.

Her Nan had fought her Mother.

Ogres had wrecked the streets.

All the magic and mayhem replayed on every newscast.

She had almost died. She didn't want to die. The idea terrified Regina now as it never had before. She had family to think about. Henry, Nan, and Emma. She had friends now. Belle, Kathryn, and Rory. She had something she hadn't had in a very long time. She had something, several somethings, to lose.

She wasn't sure how long she sat in the chair. Long enough for her feet to be ice cold. She was lost in thought, in memory, in fear, in her tortured and tangled emotions.

She jerked, and her muscles ached at the sudden movement when someone knocked on the door.

She opened her mouth to tell whichever hospital person was at the door to go away. She was not hungry, thirsty, or in need of any pills.

"Mom!"

The door flew open to reveal Henry.

"Mom!"

"Hey."

Emma followed him at a normal speed, a smile on her face.

Esmeralda's insistence that she be clean, and on her own pajamas made sense now. They had all planned this together.

Henry dropped his schoolbag on the floor and then all but jumped onto her lap. He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her tight. She winced but didn't say anything. She hugged him, and held on as tightly as she could.

Her frustration melted away. How could she be upset with her son in her arms?

She was so glad she was in a chair. She didn't want Henry to see her sick in bed.

"You're okay!"

Henry's words were muffled, and she reluctantly let him go so he could speak.

"I was so worried about you!"

He had worried? About her? About the Evil Queen?

Emma grinned.

"Couldn't keep The Kid away any longer without throwing him in a cell."

Emma came closer and Regina noticed that she was not empty handed. She had a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Regina immediately knew that Henry had picked them out. It was a bright and colorful mix of daisies, daffodils, and dahlias.

She pulled her other hand from behind her back. She had a stuffed bear, a panda, with a purple tiara on its head. Emma waved the stuffed bear's paw at her.

"I wanted to get balloons too-"

Henry huffed and rolled his eyes.

"-but Ma said no."

He grabbed the bear from Emma's hand and pushed it into hers.

Regina blinked. She hadn't been given a stuffed toy since she was a baby. A lump rose in her throat. She certainly didn't need a comfort item, but-

Regina smiled at them both. "Thank you, My Little Prince. You and your mother are very thoughtful."

She squeezed the ridiculous panda, it was soft and (somehow) smelled of cinnamon. It was, she supposed, a little cute.

"But wait!"

Henry grinned at her and dropped to sit on the floor beside her. He grabbed his backpack and started to dig into it.

"There's more!"

She put her hand on his head and finger combed his shaggy hair. She'd missed him so much. Not just physically while she'd been here, but the closeness. He was sitting with her, talking to her, being with her. He was happy to see her.

"I made you a card! I got to use the newest version of Photoshop on the computers Miss French has at the library."

He had a thick stack of papers. A card? It looked more like a quarterly budget than a child's card.

"Then Paige saw and wanted to sign. She told Ava and then it sort of grew from there. I think Miss French even had some grownups sign it!"

Really? Surely not. Well, perhaps there were some child-friendly death threats scrawled in it.

He pushed the papers into her hand. It was modern printer pages, but they were traditionally bound. Belle's doing she was sure. The front cover was a picture of her from a few years before. Well, it had started as that photo. Henry had used his computer skills (that far exceeded her own) to make it look like one of his comic books..

She looked like a hero. Not the villain - the hero. Her son's hero with a vibrant costume and long flowing cape. Her eyes and hands glowed purple, a cartoonish take on her magic.

Handwritten messages and signatures covered the inner pages. There were thank yous, well wishes, and even a few cheers and congratulations.

She didn't know what to do with it. Even during the curse years when she was mayor, she had never received anything like this.

"Ma and Esmeralda said you'll get to come home in a couple of days If Dr. Malcolm approves."

Henry loved Cia. Even though she was not a pediatrician, she always took care of Henry. After her first frantic trip to the ER with him, she took him to Cia. She had given him his vaccinations, charted his growth, and everything else.

"I helped Granny and Esmeralda clean the manor from top to bottom for you!"

Henry was chattering away, happy as a clam.

Regina looked over at Emma. The blonde was smiling then she winked.

"It was really funny. Granny had to show Esmeralda what the vacuum was. Ma tried to help, but she didn't clean right."

He grinned, "She tried to use glass cleaner on the banister!"

Emma rolled her eyes, and tried to not look embarrassed. The blush that rose in her neck and ears gave her away.

"You-"

She narrowed her eyes at Emma.

"-and Esmeralda shouldn't be exerting yourselves-"

She stopped herself, worried that she would upset Henry.

"No."

He contradicted her and sounded a little upset.

"They're fine now. You're fine now. Everything is fine. We're going to be back to normal soon."

His words were fast and his tone was borderline defiant. He was trying to convince them and himself.

"We'll stop the bad guy and then we can have happily ever after. Together. One big family. Happy and-and-"

He was spiraling. Regina recognized it from when he was much younger. He was about to start crying. Oh Spirits, her sweet Henry.

"I didn't think that it would be like this. I thought after the curse everything would be-"

He rubbed at his eyes, trying to not let his tears fall.

"This isn't what happily ever after is supposed to be! No one is supposed to die! You aren't supposed to get hurt or die! You're the good gu-you're my moms! People died!"

Regina leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him.

"I know sweetheart. This isn't what any of us wanted."

Least of all her. Her curse had, if nothing else, kept him safe from the dangers of the worlds, magical and otherwise. He'd never seen political upheaval or war. He'd never lived with the knowledge of monsters and war. It had all been fairytales to him.

"There are monsters and you were hurt!"

Her little boy, her brave little prince. Her-their- son broke down.

Emma was at their side immediately.

"I was scared!"

Henry was so young, and she had sheltered him so much. Too much. This was all her fault.

"There were videos and pictures and the news. I saw everything but no one would tell me anything! No one would answer my questions or tell me the truth! You left me there at school and then wouldn't let me come here!"

Tears slid down Regina's cheeks. She didn't have any words. She couldn't apologize enough. She was supposed to protect her son. She was supposed to explain things and make everything make sense for him. She had failed him and had burdened Emma.

"Grandma and Grandpa act like everything is fine. The heroes won. I shouldn't worry. People died! You could have-I hate this! You're sick and hurt and-and-"

Words dissolved into tears. No matter how mature he thought he was, no matter how clever or sneaky, Henry was still just a little boy. Her and Emma's boy. A boy who still saw the world as a good and wholesome place. Where good and evil were clearly defined and easy to understand.

Murder, madness, magic, and mayhem made for another Monday in the Enchanted Forest. In Storybrooke it had been an unprecedented disaster. A disaster that Henry had no tools to process. The children from the Enchanted Forest were used to trauma, violence, and death. Henry was not. She had never wanted Henry to live like this, with fear and sadness.

Regina felt like a failure. She hadn't been there to protect him, to talk to him, to comfort him. Neither had Emma, nor Esmeralda. The two people she trusted Henry with the most had been so busy looking after her to take care of him.

David and Snow hadn't talked to him about anything. Why would they? They were used to this sort of nonsense. Additionally, they had the emotional depth of a puddle. If it wasn't about their ridiculous love affair it didn't penetrate their stone-hard heads.

"Yeah, it sucked, Kid."

Emma patted his back somewhat awkwardly. She looked pained and guilty. She probably hadn't expected this emotional meltdown. She wasn't sure how to respond to it either.

"We survived, though. A little banged up and bruised, but all good."

Regina bit the inside of her cheek. That was the understatement of the century.

Henry looked up at Emma, annoyed.

"Bruises don't put you in the ICU, Ma."

Henry was an intelligent boy, but she knew she should have never let him see clips of Grey's Anatomy.

"That witch!"

Regina flinched. His voice was so angry and hateful. She'd been on the receiving end of his anger before. Even though it wasn't pointed at her this time, it still stung. That was her temperament coming out of Henry's mouth.

"Hurt our family. Esmeralda, Ruby, you, and Mom. I saw the videos. Ruby almost died. Mom almost died!"

She destroyed the town! Things hadn't even been all fixed from the wraith yet!"

"Henry, that isn't something you should-"

His face, neck, and ears were scarlet red.

"I'm not a baby! You don't have to pretend like everything is okay. It isn't!"

"You're right, Kid."

Emma sat down on the hospital bed and sighed.

"It was messed up. Monsters, magic, fighting in the streets. It was sort of like a movie, but in reality."

Emma shrugged.

"I was scared shitless. Ruby got hurt. Esmeralda turned into some kind of magical brawler. Your Mom went way overboard with magic. It was a lot. No one expects you, or anyone, to be okay."

Emma blew out a breath.

"They kind of forget that you and me aren't used to this stuff. We were both raised here. Over in fairytale world, this crap is normal. For David and Snow it's like business as usual. I'm not saying that's good."

Emma chuckled humorlessly and blew out another sigh.

"Because it isn't. Like everyone in this town has some kind of PTSD. I'm still having nightmares!"

Regina listened and felt more shame wash over her. Of course, Emma was overwhelmed! There weren't ogres in Boston, Dragons in ,Albuquerque or sorceresses in Tallahassee.

"But we're handling it the best we can. We're all humans, Kid. Even your Mom."

Regina forced a smile. She was struggling to hold back tears. She didn't deserve either Emma or Henry.

"I'm much better now, My Little Prince. I-"

She wanted to protect him, but she also didn't want to lie to him anymore.

"I-"

She didn't know what to say.

"I missed you, sweetheart."

They spent hours together. Esmeralda brought soup and bread from Granny's. Henry introduced Emma and Nan to their nightly tradition. She'd missed watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy with Henry.

Emma was very good at Wheel. She could guess, or knew, almost every puzzle with only a few letters. When Henry complained, Emma only grinned. She was an absolute goof during Jeopardy. Sometimes she declared a wildly inaccurate answer. Other times she quoted old SNL jokes. During Final Jeopardy, she gave the right answer in a ridiculous voice and accent.

Regina laughed so hard and long that it physically hurt her.

When she noticed Henry yawning, she declared it was time to go. Regina kissed Henry on the forehead, Nan on the cheek and gave Emma a quick and chaste kiss on the lips. Then she told them all to go home. They all needed sound sleep in a real bed.

"Can we go home-home, Ma?"

Henry asked while Emma helped her get back into the hospital bed.

"I miss my room and Grandma is kind of-"

Regina knew exactly what 24-7 Snow White was like. She pursed her lips to prevent an undignified giggle from spilling out.

"-a lot.:"

"I-uh" Emma looked at her.

"Go home Emma." Regina smiled. "Take Henry's key to get a copy made for yourself tomorrow."

Emma's sudden smile made her heart melt.

It was the very least she could do. Emma hadn't eaten or slept much while she'd been in the hospital.

"But there is to be no eating in our bed, Miss Swan. I do not want crumbs in the sheets when I come home."

Then, knowing how her son and girlfriend plotted together, she added.

"And no new video game systems until we can have a family meeting about it."

They both rolled their eyes and nodded.

Nan smiled at her.

"I will make sure they behave, Little One. You focus on healing."

Regina watched her family walk out of the room. The door closed behind them with a quiet snick.

She had almost died. She had come close to brink twice recently. The first time she had been angry, sad, alone, and ready to embrace death. It had been like that every time. She'd always been ready to look death in the eye.

Now, though? Now, for the first time in years and years, she wanted to live. She wanted to live. She wanted to help Storybrooke. She wanted to watch her son grow up. She wanted to spend more time with Emma. She wanted to live.

She was not alone anymore. She was not the Evil Queen. She was Regina, and she had her familia again.

Nothing and no one would take her familia from her. Not Mother, not Snow, not death. She would also not let herself fall into old habits to rob herself either.

It didn't matter what happened next, Regina vowed, that she would protect her family, her people, and her town.