Chapter 169- Protection

Nathan made his way back towards the RCMP office sometime later, after a short talk with his old friend Newton in the livery. He wasn't sure what he would find when he returned, but he knew he and Charlotte needed to talk. Her face, marred in pain as he walked out earlier, haunted him in their time apart. Nathan wished he could put some of the words he said to her back in his mouth. There was no going back though, and he knew they both needed the time alone to think and cool down. But putting off their differences in opinion any longer wouldn't be helpful to either of them.

Instead of finding his wife in the RCMP office, Bill was the only occupant still there. Avery looked over his shoulder from where he was working on the chalkboard when Nathan entered the room. "Kinslow and Parks went down to the cafe for an early dinner with Allie before the evening rush."

"And Charlotte?"

Bill shrugged his shoulders.

"I probably should talk to her." Nathan settled heavily into the chair along the wall. "I realize I was abrasive earlier, but still- she's absolutely… infuriating!" He growled the words as he ran his hands through his hair and down his face. "Charlotte is crazy to think I'd just let her travel all the way to Edmonton and into the heart of the Drake's operation like a gladiator going into the colosseum in Rome. Fresh meat for the lions to consume."

Bill stood silently, his gaze steady and unrelenting.

"Wait…" Nathan furrowed his brow and leaned forward. "You honestly think that her plan is safe?"

"I'm not saying it's safe…" Bill turned to the chair opposite of Nathan and sat down. "But… I do agree with it. What Charlotte said made a lot of sense and it paired well with what we were already preparing for with Aitchison."

Nathan knew he couldn't hide the way his eyes widened in shock. "You can't honestly believe that?"

"How would you know? You never even listened to her."

Nathan felt himself shrink at Bill's accusation. He was right though. The moment Seth Drake was brought into the conversation, Nathan never even gave Charlotte a chance to explain. His mind and reasoning had been completely shut off to hearing anything further. Seth Drake couldn't be trusted, and Nathan wouldn't put his wife in any position that would cause her to be triggered, harmed, or worse. He would never be able to live with the guilt if something were to happen. Charlotte needed to understand that.

She had to.

"I know you're angry, and I'm not saying you don't have a right to be upset, but I've never seen you, not at least listen to what Charlotte had to say. She was simply dismissed. You both love one another so fiercely- and you also know what life is like without that love. Because of that, you both would do anything not to lose it."

"I can't, Bill. It's that simple. Not only for me, but Allie and Liam too. Allie's already lost one mother- I can't let her lose another. And Liam- he would grow up without knowing Charlotte's love and care and…"

"I understand that. Believe me, I do." Bill didn't say anything else for a long time before he stood and grabbed his coat from the hook on the wall. "You need some time, but Nathan- you should know, you and Charlotte are stronger when you're working together and on the same page. Talk to her. Listen to what she has to say. Then decide how to move forward. Together."

Bill quietly exited out of the office. No doubt, also on his way to the cafe to join the others. Nathan gave a great sigh, sinking lower in his chair, contemplating Bill's words. His hands wrung together, and he hung his head, eyes closed. Prayers lifted to heaven asking for forgiveness, grace, and guidance.

He just didn't realize what form those answers would come in until he heard a knock on the door to the office and a moment later Jack Thornton was standing on the threshold. "Hello, Mountie Nathan."

"Hello, Jack." Nathan said, pushing himself upright in the chair. The boy had grown a lot, both physically and emotionally, over the summer with his grandfather and Aunt Julie in town. He would be seven in December and was really coming into his own at school, making plenty of new friends that he often played with in town. There was a small tug at Nathan's heartstrings realizing how proud Jack Thornton Sr. would be of his son. Jack was a sweet and smart boy, who Nathan could already tell had the natural instinct to protect and care for others.

The makings of an excellent Mountie. He thought to himself, before speaking again to the child. "What brings you here this afternoon?"

Jack closed the door and stood on the other side of the desk from Nathan. He suddenly seemed a little self-conscious, looking down at the floor where it seemed he was tracing the lines of the wood floor with the toe of his shoe. His hands clasped together behind his back. "Are you and Mrs. Nathan going away?"

Nathan swore all the blood seemed to drain instantly from his body and he felt weak and light-headed. "What makes you think that, Jack?"

"I heard you two… talking earlier. And then, when my friends and I were playing hide and seek a little while ago, I went to the livery and found you talking to Newton about Mrs. Nathan making a trip and… being in danger."

"Oh…" Nathan's stomach dropped as soon as Jack began parroting what he obviously heard in the blow up between he and Charlotte in the RCMP office and then his personal confessions to his trusted steed. His mind was swirling, trying- and failing- to come up with an explanation to the boy that was truthful, but didn't cause too much concern.

"I know I shouldn't have been eavesdropping," Jack continued, raising his head from the floor to look Nathan in the eye. "It was wrong, and I wanted to come and apologize."

"I can't say myself and Mrs. Nathan were being quiet, Jack." Nathan remembered the way his voice rose during their confrontation in this same spot not so long ago. "I'm sorry, too."

They were both silent for a moment before Jack asked again. "So, are ya? I mean… So, are you? Leaving Hope Valley and going somewhere dangerous?"

Nathan took a deep breath. "Yeah, Jack. We probably are." After the word left his mouth, he realized how easily the term 'we' was used when talking about what lay ahead for them in Edmonton. "You know I occasionally have to leave on Mountie duties in other cities."

"And Mrs. Nathan is going with?"

"I'm not sure yet," Nathan stood and rounded the corner of his desk, coming closer to the boy. He leaned back, resting against the furniture's edge as he crossed his ankles, one over the other. "She and I need to talk about it further."

Jack chewed on his lower lip. "Will it be dangerous?"

Because of his own childhood, Nathan swore long ago he would never lie to a child. More often than not, they knew the truth, even if an adult didn't wish for them to. "Yes." He caught his voice crack slightly. "Any time I go somewhere on Mountie business it could be dangerous, Jack."

"If that's the case then I want you and Mrs. Nathan to have this," Jack reached into the pocket of his jacket and held something up in his hand so Nathan could see.

"A Saint Christopher medal?" Nathan said, taking the necklace from Jack's outstretched hand so he could inspect it closer.

Jack nodded his head. "Yeah. It was my dad's. He gave it to his friend, Doug, the day he graduated Mountie training. When Doug passed, his mom returned the medal to my father since the two always viewed one another as brothers."

"It wouldn't be right for us to have this, Jack."

"I don't think it could be more right." Jack gave a small smile. "A couple weeks ago during Sunday school, Mrs. Nathan taught us about saints. When I mentioned I had that medal she told me the story of Saint Christopher and how many people wore the medal for safety and protection. Mrs. Nathan said it was a gift I should treasure not only because it was my dad's, but also because of its meaning."

"And that…" Nathan extended the necklace back towards the boy. "Is exactly what you should keep this, Jack. Like I said, it wouldn't be right for us to have your medal."

"No." Jack said, his jaw firmly set. That expression is one-hundred percent Elizabeth- Nathan thought to himself. "I want you and Mrs. Nathan to have it. Right now, I think you both need this more than I do. Don't worry, Mountie Nathan, I'm safe here in Hope Valley and that's because of you."

Nathan tipped his head back, trying to stop the tears that instantly sprung to the corner of his eyes. Wasn't that the exact reason he came to Hope Valley in the first place? And here was this little boy, the son of a fallen comrade, who wanted- in his own way- to protect Nathan in return.

"Jack," Nathan said. "I still don't think I can take this. It was your dad's gift to you."

"Maybe we can share it?" Jack suggested. "Like Mom and Mrs. Nathan are always telling us to do with the other children at school. I don't need this Saint Christopher medal right now, but you do. When the time is right, you can give it back to me. Deal?"

Nathan's lips couldn't help but lift at the corners in a slight smile seeing the way Jack extended his right hand in his direction. Wishing to seal his arrangement with a handshake. "It's a deal."

Jack shook his hand and turned to head for the door, but before he left, Nathan called out to him. "And Jack…" The boy paused for a moment and turned back to face him. Nathan straightened. Standing at attention, he gave Jack his very best Mountie salute. Jack clicked his heels together, pushed his shoulders back, and gave a proper salute. "Thank you, Mountie Thornton. I know your dad is mighty proud of the young man you are becoming."

Jack beamed a smile across the room, returned the salute, and then scampered off, his step light and carefree like a boy's gait ought to be.

Charlotte shivered. It was getting late, and she knew she should start back to town soon. The sun was sinking quickly and the path along the stream leading to the main road was already heavily shadowed and growing darker- and colder- by the minute.

Over the past hour she kept going through the conversation- or rather lack of conversation- she had with Nathan. She'd known it would be hard to broach the subject to Nathan. She knew his feelings towards Seth Drake since last summer. While Charlotte and Nathan never talked directly about the subject until their fight this afternoon, she understood her husband's hesitations to let her anywhere near the man who thought he was God's gift to every woman. Beck had been the same way. The word 'no' did not apply to men like them.

The thoughts of what he was capable of sent another convulsing shiver down her spine. It was then she felt a heavy weight and warmth on her shoulders, and she twisted to see Nathan draping his coat around her. His expression was full of trepidation, but with an unmistakable tenderness layered underneath.

"You looked cold." He shrugged, settling the heavy coat more securely around her petite body.

"Thank you, that is better." Charlotte said, pulling the lapels tighter across her chest. "Will you join me?" She moved over on the log to make room for Nathan to sit beside her.

"It's getting late, don't you think we should start back to town?"

"We will. But first we need to talk and this place…" Charlotte's eyes shifted back to the water that slowly drifted by, bubbling, and babbling over the smooth stones of the creek bed. "It seems to be one place where you and I do our best thinkin' and talkin'."

Isn't that how you knew you could find me here? She thought to herself. Here in this place where he first saw the scars of her past. Here, where he came the day she told him in a letter about Beck and the child she then carried. Here, where Nathan first told her he loved her. The place she came to cry over not being able to conceive again and finally where they both came to discuss about where God was in all the heartache they experienced with Allie being taken from their care.

Nathan hesitated a moment to her request before taking his place at Charlotte's side.

"I'm sorry."

They both blurted at the same time, followed by soft chuckles that dissolved some of the tension in the moment.

"I'm sorry," Charlotte began again. "I'm sorry for how I brought up my plan earlier. How I blindsided you and I'm sorry for not talking it through with you personally before sharing it with everyone else. But… I don't know if I can say I'm sorry for having this plan." She paused, taking a deep breath as though to settle her nerves. "I do love you and respect your opinion more than anyone, Nathan. So, if- after hearing what I have to say- you still feel as though we should not go through with it, I will respect your wishes and not ask you again. The same goes for Allie. She's old enough to know what may happen. You were right earlier, the consequences of this may not just affect you or me, it also has the possibility of affecting her and Liam. I can see why you may have a hard time forgiving me for this, but I will always hold out hope you are able to find it in your heart to do so."

Charlotte saw the muscle jerk in the side of Nathan's jaw. The silence seemed like a lifetime instead of mere seconds until he responded. "I'm sorry too." He said on the note of a heavy sigh. "For how I spoke to you and raised my voice. Of course I forgive you, I was angry. And to be honest, I still am. You know my feelings about Seth Drake and hearing you want to purposely put yourself in harm's way with him- it blinded me to anything else you wanted to say."

Charlotte's gaze dropped. The guilt over what she was asking of Nathan and their family was heavy. "I understand. I really do."

"I'm glad one of us understands. Because my mind is so muddled right now, I feel I can't even see straight." He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to ease the pressure building there from his headache. "Please, Charlotte. Make me understand. I need to know why you would want to go through with this. After everything you've been through with your past." Nathan stopped there, trying to control the emotion in his voice.

"I think…" Charlotte took another long, shaky breath in. "Part of the reason is for what you just stated. Because of my past, I feel I need to prove to myself that I can face evil and come out the other side. I survived and made it through the trauma of what I experienced, and now- I need to make it through the healing."

"Don't you feel like you did that already with Beck?"

"In a way, yes. But with Beck- even in his death- nothing was in our control. Over the years since my attack, I think that's what I still struggle with most. Having my choices. My voice. My control over a situation, taken from me." Charlotte's hands wrung together in her lap as she fought back against the memories and ghosts that still haunted her from time to time. "Do you remember last summer, the night of Allie's custody trial when I wanted to go into town and talk some sense into Dylan and Seth Drake?"

"Yes." Nathan's voice was quiet. How could he not remember that night? And maybe more so, the next morning when he woke up alone and discovered Charlotte missing from their bed. His heart felt like it stopped beating until he found her again on their front porch steps.

"That night, you said there would be times when we won't agree about things. Times when you would need to make decisions for our future. When you might have to ask me to do things I would find difficult, things I wouldn't fully understand or don't agree with. But you asked me to trust your choices for this family… And now-" She paused for a moment taking Nathan's hand into her own, drawing his attention to her. "Now I need to ask you to trust me in return. Trust that I'm making the right decision for our family. One that will protect us now and into the future. After everything we've been through, can you do that? Can you trust me?"

"Trust you?" Nathan was pale and strained. "Of course I trust you, Charlie. The problem is, I don't trust others." Tears burned in the corners of his eyes. "Remember my job makes me believe the worst in people."

"Those are Elizabeth's words." Charlotte reached forward and cupped the side of Nathan's face, gently turning him towards her. "Not yours. And certainly not mine."

Nathan felt himself relax into his wife's touch as Charlotte pulled him closer and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him in a comforting embrace. He let himself settle his cheek into the warmth and safety of her care.

"Nate," Charlotte whispered as she let her fingers curl into the hair at the edge of his shirt collar. "You don't see the worst in people, but you do follow your instincts. I know what your instincts tell you about Seth Drake, because they are what my instincts are telling me too. You've told me before, that in your opinion, bold men are often the most dangerous and we both know that Drake is bold."

Nathan pulled back slightly out of her embrace to look Charlotte in the eyes. "Then why do you want to do this? Why are you putting yourself in this danger? Especially when I may not be there to protect you if…" His voice broke and he struggled to swallow the lump in his throat.

"Why am I doing this? I think it should be obvious." Charlotte took his hands into hers. "I'm doing this for us. It is not lost on me how blessed I am to have you and our life here in Hope Valley." She whispered, gently stroking her fingers across his knuckles in a reassuring fashion. "And I know you feel the same and that's why what I ask of you, is no easy task. I hope you know it's not easy for me either. I want to do nothing more than turn a blind eye to the evil around us. To hold you and our children close and never let go. On the other hand, I know that bad things happen if good people do nothing. You're a good man, Nathan and right now, this world needs good men. And women."

She drew a hand along his jaw, drawing his attention to her. Her grey eyes radiated warmth and comfort, which she knew he needed. "Maybe more so- I know love is worth fighting for. You've taught me that. And the love I feel for this family, Nathan, it's no ordinary love. It's a love that makes me want to fight with every fiber of my being in order to protect it and our life together." Her next words caught in her throat. "Can't you see that it's because of this love- the one you have so freely given to me- that I can even contemplate doing this? Your belief in me over these past years. Your devotion. It's a strength to me like you can't even imagine. It's the very breath I breathe. Every day. Every moment. It's you."

Her thumbs tenderly swiped over his cheek, breaking the trail of tears that skimmed down Nathan's face. "Warren's death has made me realize that every person must live the life they were born to lead. Bill said something similar at Tremblay's service and it was like he was speaking to my soul. Every man, and woman, has a destiny to fulfill. I always thought my destiny was complete in coming here, in finding you, in creating our family. But I've realized our destiny isn't just one thing, one place, or one person. It's all these tiny, sometimes seemingly insignificant, moments that build a life. A life to serve a greater purpose. You've known that destiny with the Mounties, and raising Allie, and yes- in loving me. Now I'm asking you to trust me, Nathan- that this- the bringing down of the Schneider gang once and for all- is a part of my purpose. It's a part of our destiny. To be this vessel for hope."

At that moment, it was as though time slowed. Charlotte lifted her face to the sky, closing her eyes. Nathan watched the way the breeze played with the loose strands of her hair as they moved to frame her features in a seraphic way. He realized she was at peace with this decision, no matter how hard it was for her- and him- Nathan could tell Charlotte truly believed this was what she was meant to do. A means to an end.

"Always do what you are afraid to do." Charlotte said, returning her attention to him, squeezing his hand in reassurance as she quoted one of his favorite Emerson lines. "God has a plan for us. All of us. We may not understand it, especially when bad things happen, but I'm choosing to find peace in following His calling. It's a calling I've felt for a while now. As part of His purpose for me. A greater purpose that I hope you can see too. And if not, then I'll pray that we have the strength to put our trust in Him for protection and the peace to accept what is to come. Whatever that may be."

Nathan reached forward and tucked a wayward piece of Charlotte's hair behind her ear, placing his lips to her temple. "If that's the case…" He whispered against her freckled skin, as one of his hands slipped into the pocket of his coat she wore over her shoulders. "I think you'll be needing this."

"A Saint Christopher medal?" Charlotte's brows knitted together as she stared at the necklace Nathan now held up between them.

"It's Jack's, well actually his father's." Nathan watched the realization fall over Charlotte. "Jack told me that Mrs. Nathan taught the kids at Sunday school about Saint Christopher and how many people wear this medal for safety and protection."

Charlotte took the necklace into her hands and lightly traced the outline of the etched figure. "I remember him telling me about his dad's necklace and the story that was attached to it. I said it was a gift that Jack should treasure."

"Seems as though no matter what you do, Charlie, you still find ways to teach and make an impact on those around you, especially children." Nathan wrapped his arm around Charlotte's shoulders and pulled her into his side.

"But why do you have it?"

Nathan felt his embarrassment flash onto his cheeks. "It seems I wasn't too quiet earlier at the jail, nor when I went to talk things over with Newt." His tension waned when Charlotte flashed him an all-knowing smile at his confession of telling secrets to his horse. She understood. "And Jack happened to overhear some things and asked if you and I were going out of town and if we were in danger. He said if we were, it was you and I who needed Saint Christopher here more than he did."

"What a sweet boy. But it still doesn't feel right, Jack should keep this."

"I told him that too, and do you know what he said?" Charlotte shrugged, prompting Nathan to continue. "Jack said, 'I want you and Mrs. Nathan to have it. Right now, I think you both need this more than I do. Don't worry, Mountie Nathan, I'm safe here in Hope Valley and that's because of you.'"

Charlotte smiled. She knew full well the reasons Nathan came to Hope Valley in the first place. Guilty over Constable Jack Thornton's death, he asked for a transfer, feeling it was his responsibility and duty to look after his comrade's widow and child. To protect them from any harm. To have that same child, years later, confirm he indeed felt safe because Nathan had been there- and still was- made it all seem worth it.

"He said that we can share this medal with him." Nathan continued to explain as he took the medal from Charlotte's palm and then looped the chain over her head and around her neck. "That you and I can have it now, and then when the time is right, we will give it back to Jack."

Nathan lifted Charlotte's hair and then adjusted the medal so it lay perfectly in the center of her chest. He pressed his hand over it, feeling the strong beat of her heart beneath his palm. Charlotte's hand came to rest over his, the action drew his attention back to her face. "We will get through this, Nathan. Together." She gave him a tender smile. It was soft. Comforting. And the feeling that came over him was as though she wrapped him in a warm blanket.

He bent forward and kissed her. Lips pressed softly like a rose unfurling on a summer morning. Velvet brushing over silk. Dipping your toes in a hot bath and languidly inching your body into the water so you don't get burned.

Together.

Yes, united as a team was the only way they would be able to do this. Divided they would fall, and it was then that Nathan knew that was exactly what Aitchison's plan was all along. He'd seen them all together at the Mountie Ball. He knew that their strength was with one another and the only way to break through their wall was to divide and conquer. A crack here. A wedge there. It almost happened a year ago with Allie being taken away, and again with Warren's death. Charlotte was right, this time, they needed to make sure the Schneider gang met its end, once and for all. Otherwise, their family would always be at risk. Always looking over their shoulders and into the shadows, waiting and wondering when the next attack on them would happen.

As their kiss ended, a strong breeze stirred and in it, Nathan heard the sounds of nature around them for the first time that day. The rustling of the leaves along the forest path. The movement of the water beside them. It all came together in what Charlotte always called her music. Nathan felt his wife's lips lift into a smile against his stubbled jawline.

"You hear it too, don't you?" She asked.

"I do. And it's beautiful. Just like you." Nathan's thumb traced along Charlotte's freckled cheeks that quickly flushed with his compliment. "It's gettin' late, and we should be getting back to town. Everyone is going to be wonderin' where we got off to." Nathan slowly stood drawing her up with him. She pressed her lips to his cheek and hovered there a moment, her breath, an angel's kiss, clearing away the last webs of a troubled dream. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in, his body a shield to protect her from the hurts and pains of the past. "What do you say you tell me about this plan of yours on our walk back into town?"

"I'd like that, partner."