Chapter 9

Scorpius watched with a lurch as Elle sat herself on Albus' bed, leaning back against the headboard and tucking a pillow behind her head. It reminded of how many times he had done the exact same thing, without a care in the world. Now, he avoided Albus' bed like it was a black pit that might swallow him whole.

"Er…" Elle began, looking uncertain. "You know, I'm not actually usually the one to start this off. It's usually you." Scorpius shrugged his thin shoulders. He could feel his face getting that pinched look about it that he hated so much. There was an uncomfortable silence, before Elle bravely forged on. "Look, Scor. I know this year has started off on the wrong foot…" Scorpius ignored the odd turn of phrase. Elle always said the oddest muggle things without a second thought and was often oblivious to the fact that others did not understand her.

Elle had trailed off, hoping that Scorpius would take his cue to start talking. Scorpius, stubbornly, did not. Elle sighed. "If this is how's it's been, talking to me for the last three years, I swear I don't know how you haven't punched me in the face yet."

Scorpius snorted. "I've thought about it." Elle seemed to ponder that for a second. "I honestly wish you'd had. I think it'd like to experience it once, just to know what it's like." This was such an entirely odd combination of Slytherin and Ravenclaw thinking, which was so uniquely Elle's that Scorpius had to laugh, at least for a second.

Encouraged, Elle continued. "We've missed you, you know. I've missed you. The only class that's been any fun this week is herbology, and that's only because when I wore the earmuffs to repot those mandrakes it wasn't as obvious you weren't talking to me." Scorpius frowned. He also desperately missed his friends, but they were so entangled with Albus that he had no idea how to approach it. It had seemed easier to just cut everyone off entirely – he thought he knew how to be lonely. But it seems that in the last three years, he's gotten a little rusty at it.

"I just…" Scorpius sighed. He didn't know how to explain. Elle had found some type of enchanted ball underneath Albus' pillow and was amusing herself by seeing how far she could throw it and still have it zoom back into her hand. The silence dragged on uncomfortably, and Scorpius was acutely aware that Elle was using his own weapon against him.

Finally, the dam burst, and Scorpius spit it out in one single breath. "I-don't-hate-Albus-and-I-don't-think-my-dad-is-a-deatheater-butIreallyneedAlbustostopsleepinginmyBED." Scorpius could feel his face was bright scarlet, and he picked determinedly at a spare thread on his pajama sleeve as the silence stretched on after him. All of this was true, but it was not the whole, entire truth. The words Scorpius had used to fight with Albus, to try and end their friendship cleanly, had come more easily to him than they would have if there had not been at least a tiny part of him that had already thought them, deep in the quietest part of his mind. But trying to sort that out, while also trying to sort out The Dream was too much for Scorpius, and he pushed that feeling away. There was silence for a moment.

Finally, Elle spoke up. "Oh.. kay?" and then, a second or two later, as it all slotted into place in her head. "OH! Oh. Okay, I get it." Scorpius buried his head in his pillow and really, really, hoped that she didn't, at least not entirely.

Scorpius felt the soft dip in his bed as Elle came to sit beside him. He didn't look up, and her voice was fairly muffled, but he heard her all the same. "I won't tell, you know." Then, after another silence, she said "I drank so much pumpkin juice on Halloween in first year that I puked, and for weeks afterwards every time I sneezed, I thought I could taste it. I haven't been able to touch the stuff, since." Scorpius sat up abruptly and looked questioningly at Elle. She shrugged. "A secret for a secret, that's what I always say."

The secrets weren't equivalent, not by a long shot, but it was enough to make Scorpius manage a soft chuckle. Elle grinned. "Now come on" she said, pulling Scorpius to his feet "it's a beautiful day, and we're going flying." Scorpius shivered, "it's cold" he whined, "and there's no free fly this morning, the pitch is booked for Slytherin try-outs." Elle arched her brow and Scorpius shrugged. "They're just looking for a new seeker! I'll try out when the chaser position opens up." "You better" Elle threatened "you're a great flyer. Don't let… don't let what others think hold you back." The message was clear enough, and Scorpius smiled weakly. "Anyways" Elle added, turning towards the door, "we aren't flying on the quidditch pitch…"

The door suddenly flew open, and Elle squeaked in surprise, immediately vanishing. The next few seconds were extremely tense, but thankfully, Tobias had been looking down as he entered the dorm, trying very hard to remove a wad of wet toilet paper from the back of his shoe. "Peeves" he grunted when he noticed Scorpius staring at him, then a second later "did I just hear you squeak?" Scorpius tried his best to look nonchalant as he nodded, ears scarlet, and quickly changed into his flying clothes.

Fifteen minutes later Elle was dragging Scorpius out to a deserted part of the school grounds, right at the edge of the forbidden forest. It quickly dawned on Scorpius what her plan was, and he started backing up immediately. "Elle, NO. This is mental." Elle tossed her long plait over her shoulder and mounted her broom, ignoring him entirely. "You won't let me go in alone, will you?" she challenged, kicking off her broom and heading straight into the half-dark of the old growth in one smooth motion.

Scorpius cursed to himself, already regretting his patched-up friendship, and clumsily followed after her.

Elle gave a whoop of joy as she skirted around the trunk of a very large tree, accidentally scaring a few bowtruckles that nested up high. She could see Scorpius behind her, following her skillfully enough, but cursing all the while. Elle didn't really care though, because Scorpius was out of the castle, and she was doing what she loved best.

Hagrid's paths were easy to follow from above – wide as he was, and with Dirk the bloodhound at his side, there was at least a meter of vegetation cleared out of the way of his most common rounds. These paths were shallow in the forest, and she could still easily see the thin beams of light that cut through the gloom that represented access to the outside world.

Elle didn't want to think of the outside world right now, however. The forest was a quiet and comforting presence, and the accumulation of thousands of years of trees and foliage insulated not only sounds, but her thoughts as well. She was at peace, as she flew around some of her favourite tracks, rolling and diving and climbing to evade branches. After a while, Scorpius calmed down, and started to enjoy himself as well. She could hear his sharp intake of breath as he turned tight corners, and, as he got more comfortable, his breathy laugh as he dived and rolled alongside branches.

Elle took them along a complicated and circuitous route that Elle had only discovered through many trials and errors, which finally spit them out at the shores of the great lake. It took the greater part of an hour, and when they finally spotted the sparkling black waters through the thinning trees, Scorpius cried out in relief, swiftly dismounting as they neared the beach and shaking off his aching thighs.

Elle wasn't ready to give up the quiet feeling she had in her chest, however. She scanned the sky and the earth, but it was a particularly cold September day, and most of those looking for outside entertainment were far away, watching the Slytherin seeker try outs. One tiny broom in the sky shouldn't even be noticed…

Elle felt the disillusionment charm wash over her like a hug from a familiar friend. She saw Scorpius turning about every which way, trying to see her, and saw his eyes perceptibly widen as he spotted her empty broom, but by then it was too late. She was already rising rapidly, and the feeling was there in the pit of her stomach, similar to the feeling on a climbing rollercoaster, and just as addictive.

She climbed high enough to reach the base of the lowest clouds, heavy moisture beading on her skin, before pointing her nose straight down to the black abyss of the lake.

Elle had surpassed counting to three on her Wronskei feint months ago. She had reliably gotten to seven, and today, she decided to go to ten. This was her first mistake – going past seven. Her second mistake was to trust that the lake was as calm as it had looked from the vantage point of the clouds.

As she got closer and closer, she realized that the glittering of the waters was betraying much more movement than she had guessed. The closer she got (and she was going very fast), the bigger the waves got. When she got to her count of ten, she pulled the nose of her broom up, but the water rose up with her, cresting into a wave.

Suddenly, Elle felt as if she had been hit in mid-air by a very heavy body. It would later become clear to her that the term 'bodied by a wave' was very accurate. The shock of cold broke her disillusionment charm, and suddenly Elle was breathing in pain. No, water, she registered, as she kicked her head above the surface, coughing hard.

Elle could see Scorpius' silver head bobbing long the shore, but he, and the shore seemed very far away. Her clothing, which had been very sensible for a long fly in cold September air, now weighed about a hundred kilos, and she felt as if the very lake itself, its own cold black fingers, were dragging her down… down…

Elle felt her fingers release their hold on something, as she fought and clawed her way back to the surface of the water, her lungs screaming the entire time. She felt as if she was trying to climb a ladder, except every rung slipped between her fingers, and every time she pulled to try and hoist her weight up, the ladder itself sunk further into the ground.

If she hadn't been so strong, Elle was pretty sure she wouldn't have made it to the surface a second time. As it was, her mouth barely broke over the wave, her neck craned up so uncomfortably she felt as if the vertebrae were grinding together. Her desperate, greedy lungs sucked up quite a few sprays of water alongside the air. She felt the thin tendrils of oxygen curling down her throat, desperately and inadequately thumbing open lungs that quickly squeezed back shut.

And then it was back down, down into the deep and the dark, the heavy fingers of the lake grabbing at her ankles, pulling and twisting around her waist… Her legs kicked desperately and made no progress. There were waves under here, too, invisible to the human eye, that which sees so little. They roll and pull and breathe all in the water, the blackness, the heavy underneath. It was so, so dark down here. It was always midnight. Elle's eyes fluttered close. It was time to sleep.