Remus thought carefully over his father's words, and the more he thought, the more the idea of making friends didn't seem as impossible as it had before. Of course, he would still need to exercise caution. He couldn't make his decision rashly. But Evans certainly seemed disposed to like him, and then there was Snape. True, he was clever, not to mention suspicious of Remus already, but then again, hadn't he declared that he found Remus, at the very least, tolerable? Coming from Snape, this was tantamount to encouragement. Plus, Remus could think of many reasons why their mutual desire to maintain an amicable, albeit cool relationship, would be preferable to a close confidant who may discover all.

Full of new resolve, he approached the pair soon after the new term began. He had been delayed only by the full moon, whose appearance around the middle of the month caused him to miss another three days of class. It meant another reprimand from Professor Squabs, who was never willing to excuse him, but Remus didn't mind. It afforded him the perfect excuse to speak with the very people he now sought.

"Evans, Snape! Wait up!" he called, stopping them in the hall after their Defense Against the Dark Arts class. He had imagined it would be easier to speak with them at the same time, but as one turned toward him with a curious smile, he caught the other directing a look of cold indifference toward him which bordered on downright hostility. He began to wish he had spoken with Evans individually.

"Erm… Did you… Did you have a good holiday?" Remus began awkwardly. Their winter break was already several weeks behind them, but Remus had very little experience talking with people his own age, much less with the intention of being liked. He hardly knew how to begin.

Snape wrinkled his hooked nose, but Evans' smile merely grew.

"I did, thanks! My mum and dad got my sister and I matching earrings, see?" She pulled back her red hair to show off a pair of trendy drop-style earrings, each molded into the shape of lilies. Letting the curtain of her hair drop back over her shoulders once again, she continued, "What about you? Does your family exchange gifts?"

"Yeah," said Remus, gradually gaining confidence under the influence of Evans' encouraging demeanor. "It's just me and my parents, but my mum got me a really nice copy of Great Expectations."

"Dickens again," Snape observed laconically. "Didn't you just finish Bleak House not long ago?"

Remus had nearly forgotten that Snape was half-blood, like him, though his comment seemed to indicate that he was at least familiar with the Muggle author who had penned the classics.

"Do you like Dickens?" Remus asked eagerly while Evans glanced with confusion between the two of them.

Snape turned his face away, though whether it was from disinterest, or a desire to hide his sudden embarrassment, Remus couldn't tell.

"Not especially," he mumbled.

It wasn't much, but the fact that Snape was responding at all seemed like a positive sign. Drawing together his courage, Remus boldly began the speech he had been rehearsing all day.

"Listen, I don't know if I properly thanked the two of you for taking notes for me last time," he said. "I really appreciated the help, and I was wondering… Do you think you could help me study for the next exam?"

Evans glanced at Snape, as though waiting to see how he would respond to this proposal. For his part, Snape didn't seem to entirely hate the idea. He had turned back to face Remus, and after glancing over his no doubt shabby appearance, he said with and air of condescension, "Well… Professor Squabs did seem unusually harsh to you today… I suppose I could use some tutoring in Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"And you can borrow my Charms notes again!" Evans offered brightly.

In truth, Remus was more than capable of handling his schoolwork on his own, but this was the simplest excuse for spending more time with Evans and Snape that he could devise. They had soon come to an agreement to meet in the library for a study session that weekend, though Evans had one stipulation to make.

"You have to start calling me Lily," she said with a cheeky grin, "I'll have no more of this 'Evans' business from you!"

Remus somewhat bashfully agreed, then glanced cautiously at her companion.

"Snape is fine," he said stiffly.

Remus couldn't help himself. With a grin that rivaled Lily's, he replied, "Whatever you say, Sev."

Severus bristled, but with Lily standing nearby to witness his reaction, he could do little more than roll his eyes and mutter under his breath, "Why do I bother?"

Lily advised that they were actually headed to the library that afternoon, but Remus preferred to wait until their weekend study session. He was elated with his success, but he wasn't prepared for a prolonged conversation so soon. He wanted time to compose himself.

After parting ways with Lily and Severus, he made his way back toward Gryffindor tower. The walk gave him space for quiet reflection, and he was feeling uncharacteristically optimistic as he mounted the stairs and approached the portrait of the Fat Lady.

With his mind pleasantly occupied with his plans for the study session, his guard was down. He was unaware of the footsteps drawing closer behind him, unprepared for the voice that whispered suddenly into his ear…

"I know your secret, Moony."

From the moment Dumbledore had visited his home and asked him to attend Hogwarts, Remus had been like a delicate glass table. Every day at the school added a brick to his fragile surface, until the glass itself groaned under the weight. And now, these five simple words, so full of meaning, were like a small pebble added to the top of the bricks. It was too much. Remus shattered.

His chest felt tight. He couldn't breathe. The portrait of the Fat Lady, mere feet in front of him, became a pinpoint of light at the end of a long, dark tunnel. Suddenly, none of his plans mattered. The conversation he just had with Lily and Snape might as well have happened to someone else. His secret was out. It was all over.

A sharp pain in both his knees snapped him back to the present. His legs had given out, and he was now kneeling on the staircase, clutching at his chest and gasping for air as though he were drowning.

He looked around for help, and saw Sirius Black. It was Sirius who had whispered those words into his ear. Sirius, who had backed a few steps away, and was looking at Remus with wide, frightened eyes.

"Please…" Remus gasped. In his desperation, he reached for Sirius with a trembling hand, "Please, don't tell…"

Remus couldn't tell if his words were even coming out clear. For all he knew, Sirius may only have heard a faint gurgling.

Distantly, he heard more footsteps running closer, and a familiar voice called out, "Sirius! What did you do? What did you say to him?"

"I… I didn't mean… I wasn't trying to scare him! I was only trying to tease him a little!"

"Merlin's beard… Move out of the way!"

It was Potter. He knelt next to Remus on the stair while Sirius and Pettigrew hung back.

Remus was still gasping for air, trying to get a grip on himself, but unable to calm down. Nothing like this had ever happened to him before, and the harder it was to control his emotions, the more panicked he became.

"Remus? Hey, it's James. I'm going to touch your back. Is that okay?"

Under normal circumstances, Remus would have flinched away. He didn't want to be touched, much less by the likes of James Potter… Then a sudden thought pierced through his frantic mind. If Sirius knew his secret, then surely James and Peter knew, as well. But James wasn't afraid to touch him, and Peter wasn't running away. James remained by his side, his voice calm and gentle as he explained what he was going to do.

Anything had to be better than what he was experiencing now. Remus couldn't speak, but he managed to nod his head. This seemed to satisfy James, for he placed his left hand on Remus's shoulder to steady him, while with his right, he began to rub circles counterclockwise against Remus's back, starting small at first, then moving in wider arcs.

His touch was firm, but soothing. It comforted Remus, who began to breathe in time with the slow, rhythmic circles. James had continued speaking to him in the same quiet, gentle voice.

"That's right, just breathe with me. You'll be just fine…" he coached. Then, turning his head slightly to the side, he adopted a harsher tone and hissed, "Sirius, you idiot! I told you not to say anything to him without me!"

"Is… Is he going to be okay?"

"I'm… fine…" Remus finally managed, surprised to feel that it was true. He could breathe easily again. He wasn't dying. He looked into James's face in astonishment. "What did you do to me?"

James grinned. His right hand had stopped massaging Remus's back, but he didn't pull away from him. Instead, he snaked his arm across Remus's shoulders and pulled him close, as though to ensure Remus didn't try to escape.

"It's a trick my mum used to do whenever I was sick," James explained, "She called it Old Magick, but if you ask me, it just feels nice, you know? You feel better, right?"

"Yes… Thank you," said Remus, feeling embarrassed now that the panic attack had ended. He tried to pull away from James's embrace, but this had been expected, for James merely squeezed his shoulders tighter.

"Um… Guys? Do you think we should be having this conversation in the hall?" Peter asked nervously, "Someone could come along…"

"Good thinking, Pete!" said James. He stood, and in so doing, drew Remus to his feet along with him. "Sirius, run along and see if Frank's in the dormitory. If he is, make him leave. I don't care how you do it."

"Got it!" Sirius said, darting through the portrait hole. Perhaps it was because he felt guilty, but he was surprisingly obedient to the demand.

Remus felt he had no other option than to be dragged into the common room, attached to James's hip as if they were bosom buddies. The sight of Remus Lupin, notorious loner, accompanied by James Potter, the most troublesome, yet popular boy in their year, attracted the notice of several students. Their attention was diverted, however, when Frank Longbottom burst onto the scene, holding his face over his nose as several large, winged creatures attempted to spill forth from his face. It was difficult to make out what he was saying, but he seemed to be cursing Sirius's name as he rushed from the room, presumably toward the Hospital Wing.

"Bat Bogey Hex," James advised Remus as he directed him toward the stairs, "One of Sirius's specialties. Frank'll need to see Madame Pomfrey before that gets cleared up!"

Remus allowed himself to be directed up the stairs to their dormitory, where Sirius waited, pacing the floor, his wand still clenched in his fist. The moment he saw Remus, he eagerly rushed forward, grasping one of his hands in his own as he said, "I really wasn't trying to scare you! I was only teasing… It was a stupid, stupid thing to do…"

"It's alright," Remus heard himself saying automatically. Things were far from alright, but he would have said anything to have Sirius drop his hand. "I'm okay now, really…"
Sirius seemed satisfied, but he did not release his grip on Remus. Instead, he and James pulled him toward his bed, where he was made to sit and sip a glass of water conjured by James while the others gathered around him. Remus was too busy marveling at the bit of magic James had just produced. It seemed too advanced for only a second year. By the time he realized the trio were practically pressed against his sides, as if to prevent him from bolting, it was too late for escape.

"How did… How did you find out?" Remus asked after a few seconds of silence.

He saw James and Sirius exchange a smile.

"To be honest, mate…" said James slowly, "It wasn't all that hard."

"Yeah…" Peter said, mirroring the smiles of the other two, "You kind of made it obvious."

"Obvious!" Sirius scoffed, elbowing Peter playfully in the side, "You never would have noticed if James and I didn't say anything."

"And you wouldn't have noticed if Professor Cygnus hadn't given us that astronomy assignment!"

Remus groaned then, burying his face in his hands when the realization hit him.

"The Lunar Cycle…"

James nodded sagely, "That's right. Once the professor had us charting the phases of the moon, it wasn't hard to figure out that you disappeared right around the full moon each month."

Remus looked up again, peering between his fingers at the three of them. They were still sitting by his sides. They hadn't pulled away from him. They might have been completely at ease, except for the looks of worry on their faces. But it wasn't fear. Far from it. They only seemed concerned that they might have hurt him somehow, or that the panic attack that had threatened to overwhelm him might come back stronger than before.

"Then… You're not afraid of me?" he finally asked, almost terrified to voice the question aloud.

"Afraid?" repeated James seriously, "Of you? What for?"

"When I transform… I'm not myself. If Dumbledore hadn't fixed things so that I went away each month…"

"You would never do anything to hurt us," Sirius said with conviction. "And anyway… I thought it was kind of cool. I've never been friends with a werewolf before…"

"Friends?" chimed in Peter, "I've never even met a werewolf before!"

"Trust me, it's not as great as you're imagining," Remus sighed darkly.

Sirius responded by throwing himself back on Remus's pillows, his arms crossed behind his head as he looked up at him. "So educate us. Tell us what it's like."

Remus hesitated. It was not a subject he had ever been able to speak about before. Before the three of them, his parents were the only ones who knew his secret. And he had not wanted to burden them with a description of his pains, of the tortures he endured each month. He assumed they knew, and he was sure they had suffered just as much while caring for him.

But now that his secret was out… Now that there were others who hadn't run away from him in terror… The tight, painful feeling in his chest... The feeling that had always slept there since he first entered Hogwarts finally burst, and he found himself admitting to thoughts and sensations he'd never given voice before.

He told the boys everything. From the night when Fenrir Greyback, incensed by his father's speech against werewolves, had broken through his window, intent on inflicting his revenge through his adversary's only son. Remus had been only five years old at the time. That he survived the attack at all had been a miracle. He'd spent months in St. Mungo's recovering, and by the time of his release, the change had been complete. There was no cure for lycanthropy. Once infected by the bite, there was no going back.

He described the feeling of his transformations. The pain of his bones and flesh rearranging. The tickling, scratchy sensation of being covered in fur. The number of times he'd bitten his own tongue with sharp fangs, unaccustomed to the dimensions of his elongated snout. He told them about seeing through the wolf's eyes. About being aware of everything, even though he couldn't stop it, couldn't control himself when he was in that form. How when he awoke in the morning, he could recall everything he'd done the night before, no matter how terrible.

And finally, he described his confinement. Of the measures his father had taken to secure him, so he could not escape, and so others could not draw near by accident each lunar cycle. He described to them chains, and how even this had not always been enough. How he had hurt his father more than once, and when his father was not there for him to vent his frustrations, he had turned on himself.

"Merlin's beard, Moony…" Sirius breathed when Remus's narrative came to a close. "So those scratches…"

Remus flinched. He thought he had done well to hide his body from prying eyes, always careful to change out of his school robes when the others weren't looking. Apparently, those efforts had been in vain. His scars had been observed, after all.

"Self-inflicted." he confirmed. "Except for the ones Greyback gave me."

"But it's better now, isn't it?" James asked, "You said Dumbledore came to fetch you from your parent's place, didn't he? He must have had a plan…"

Remus shook his head. "I'm sure he meant well, but there's no cure… I mean, I have more space. And it's not like I'll hurt anyone. But when I'm… When I'm like that… It's hard to be confined…"

"Where do they take you, anyway?" asked Peter.

Remus set his mouth in a firm line and shook his head. Then he saw James and Sirius exchange another glance, and immediately said, "Don't even think about following me! It's a secret for a reason!"

"Alright, alright! We understand!" cried James in a completely unconvincing tone.

"I mean it!" Remus said, his voice breaking slightly as he pleaded with him, "I don't want to hurt you! If you come looking for me…"

"Ah, so that explains it."

Remus looked at Sirius, who was still reclined on the bed. No one who could see him now, the picture of poise and repose, would have believed he was the same boy who looked so pale and shocked when Remus was panicking on the stairs.

"Explains what?" asked Remus.

"Why you act the way you do. You're trying to protect everyone, right?"

"Ha!" cried James, grinning at Remus, "Seriously?"

"It's not funny," said Remus grudgingly.

"No, no… It's very… chivalrous of you…" James said, stifling his giggles behind his hand.

Peter, as usual, was a little slower than his friends to understand what was happening. Then he seemed to catch at James's words, and nodded his head sagely.

"Oh, yes! Very noble. Quite the Gryffindor. Well done, Moony."

Remus was about to chastise them, when Sirius suddenly sat up. Positioned as he was on the bed, he was mere inches from Remus's face when he announced, "There is a silver lining to all this, you know."

Remus blinked at him. He almost didn't want to ask. James did it for him.

"What's that?"

Sirius's smile made his handsome face even more brilliant as he replied, "You'll have to join the Marauders, now!"

"Hey, that's right!" cheered Peter happily, "We're the only ones who know your secret! You have to join us, Moony!"

"Please, don't call me that."

"Ah, come on, Moony. It's just a little joke between us friends."

Remus was speechless. After everything he had admitted… Everything they had just heard… They still wanted to be his friend?

Before he could say anything, the door to their dormitory swung open, and Frank Longbottom stalked into the room, glowering and angry after his visit to the hospital wing. While he and Sirius argued over the bat bogey hex, there could be no further conversation. Remus simply crawled under his blankets, not bothering to change out of his clothes. A part of him prayed that when he woke, he would find that this had all been a very bad dream. That his secret would still be safe, and he could go on as he had always done. But another part of him, perhaps a bit larger than he would admit to himself, cherished the thought that in the morning, there might be three new companions to welcome him.