6
Perry and the Penguins: The Platypus in the Room
"Well, boys. He ain't exactly a penguin." Skipper surveyed his teammates. "Meet the new guy. This is Perry." Rico cocked his head and gurgled inquisitively at the teal platypus. Chattering in response, Perry reared back on his hind legs and placed a weathered brown fedora on his head.
Kowalski and Private gasped in unison; Kowalski cleared his throat "THE Perry the Platypus?" Perry nodded, causing Private to squeal. "Ohmygosh I'msoglad I could meet you! I'm your biggest fan." Private exclaimed while excitedly shaking Perry's hand. The conversation grew louder and louder as each penguin wanted to talk to the famous (in the animal agent community) platypus, when Perry heard a familiar voice. He urgently chattered to Rico, who translated in his grunting voice.
Skipper pointed a flipper at Kowalski, "Kowalski, analysis."
The penguins and Perry dove behind a bush as Kowalski furiously whispered while drawing on a notepad. "It seems a middle-aged man who has the appearance of a pharmacist has come to Madagascar for nefarious purposes, possibly nefarious porpoises." He held up the notepad to show a drawing of a man with an oddly triangular head with brown scraggly hair and a lab coat. In the margins was written 'Porpoises?' with a half-finished drawing of a dolphin.
Private raised a flipper, and Skipper pointed at him "Yes, Private?"
"Why, that's Doctor Doofenshmirtz!" Perry chattered in agreement.
Skipper raised an eyebrow in confusion, "Private, you know this pharmacist?"
Private shook his head, "He's not a pharmacist, he's Perry's archenemy! And possibly the most evil-ish person in the world!"
"Well that's not how I would put it, but MOST EVIL-ISH is better than worst gnome so I'll take what I can get." The penguins looked up at the figure of Dr. Doofenshmirtz peering down at them, wearing a giant mechanical headset. "But, it's funny 'cause I don't really care about being the most evil in the WORLD you know? I just want to take over the Tri-State area." He squinted down at the penguins and a newly disguised Perry (courtesy of Rico), "Wait a minute, who are you and where's Perry the Platypus?"
"Alright boys, initiate plan Gamma Go Grandma!" Skipper barked at the penguins.
Five black feathered bodies assaulted Doofenshmirtz as he swatted at them and yelled in annoyance, "Ah you're so small and -oof- surprisingly heavy. Is that fat or -arggh- muscle, no judgment." Rico flexed menacingly before upchucking brass knuckles. Doofenshmirtz' eyes widened, "You know, I would be extremely intimidated right now, but now I can't stop thinking about the anatomical impossibility of what just- YOWW!" Doofenshmirtz was knocked down, and he looked at his chest to see… "A deformed penguin?" Perry removed the black feathers. "A platypus?" Perry placed his fedora on his head. Doofenshmirtz gasped, "PERRY the platypus?!" Perry chattered in response.
"And not just him either, pharmacist." Skipper remarked.
Doofenshmirtz looked around him, seeing the four penguins surrounding him while Perry stood on his chest. Then he grinned as he pulled out a remote and hit a big red button. Doof's lab coat spread open as nets sprang out, instantly binding Perry and the penguins.
Chuckling, Doofenshmirtz stood up and brushed off his lab coat. "Oh, Perry the platypus." Rico grunted and gagged aggressively. "-And company. I see you've fallen for the classic 'spring loaded nets in the labcoat' trap. What peccable timing." He spun some dials on his headset, and a sonic dish sprouted out. "I'm sure wondering, 'Dr. Doofenshmirtz, why are you wearing a geeky headset?' Well, Perry the Platypus-" Rico garbled something at Doofenshmirtz. "-And company, BEHOLD MY EVERY-LANGUAGE-TRANSLATOR-INATOR. Or MELTI for short."
Skipper chuckled, "And what are you going to do with that? Translate the Tri-State area into submission?"
Doofenshmirtz grinned, "The fact that I understood your attempt at belitting me- belittlting… belittleizing-"
"I believe it's 'belittling', Dr." Kowalski interrupted.
"Yes thank you tall penguin." Doofenshmirtz replied, "The fact that I understood your attempt at belittling me means my plan is already working!"
The penguins gasped, "And what, exactly is your plan?" Kowalksi asked nervously.
"Well," Doofenshmirtz started, "It all started in my teenage years. It was an extremely hot day in Drusselstein, so my parents sent me and my brother Roger to fetch ice. Roger was able to communicate with a lemur (which happens to be native only in Drusselstein and Madagascar) and he was able to find ice within a minute. Meanwhile I was attacked by an angry raccoon, and my entire family called me Raccoon-Boy for the rest of the year."
"However!" Shouted Doofenshmirtz, "Soon the entire Tri-State area will be under the power of Raccoon-Boy!"
The penguins stared at the doctor blankly for a moment and Perry raised an eyebrow. Doofenshmirtz shrugged, "Yeah, 'Raccoon Boy' doesn't have the same ring as Doctor Doofenshmirtz. Eh."
Skipper spoke up, "But what does that extremely graphic and surprisingly sad anecdote have to do with that doohicky device you're holding?"
"A most excellent question… uhhh… what were your names again?"
The penguins took turns introducing themselves then Doofenshmirtz continued.
"The MELTI allows me to communicate directly with any person or animal. Therefore, I will be able to convince the lemurs to join forces with me and take over the Tri-State area. At least that's what I thought. However, in my testing with raccoons, they were… less than cooperative. So I brought my Grill-INATOR and some bread and cheese to make grilled cheese, which I've realized is a great way to convince animals to listen to you." A chef's hat extended from Doof's headset, and he pulled on an apron as he began to start preparing grilled cheese on a surprisingly large grill.
Meanwhile, Private had managed to slip through one of the net holes. He began untying Skipper, while Rico had already chewed through his net. Rico made quick work of Kowalski's net as well, and soon all of the penguins were free. Private turned to untie Perry as well, but only a pile of ropes greeted him.
Private quickly spun around to see Perry jump kicking a surprised Doctor Doofenshmirtz. A quick brawl ensued, ending with Doofenshmirtz tied up in his own nets.
"Huh, I guess that makes sense since it was five against one." Doof surmised, "Or is it?" Perry and the penguins turned to see lemurs leaping down from the trees and eating the grilled cheese. "Yessss, now untie me lemurs. Free the giver of cheesy deliciousness!"
Skipper recognized one of the lemurs, "King Julian! You wouldn't attack us just because he gave you grilled cheese would you?"
King Julian shrugged, "Look, tiny flightless bird, this is a pretty good deal. I send my furry friends to brutally assault you and I get to eat cheesy goodness supplied by that geeky looking pharmacist. I have to do it to 'em."
"Don't do this Your Highness, you can't trust that pharmacist!" Shouted Kowalski as the lemurs began to approach.
"Yeah I don't care. MINIONS! Defeat those tuxedo-wearing birds!"
The small clearing filled with flurrying lemurs, the shouts of penguins, and the sound of a pharmacist making grilled cheese. However, everything came to a screeching halt.
"Did you just eat my grill?" Cried a confused Dr. Doofenshmirtz, "Those aren't cheap, I had to take out a loan to-" Rico burped, interrupting Dr. Doofenshmirtz' tirade. He shook his head, "Well at least I still have my-" Kowalski put out his flippers, allowing Skipper to launch himself at the Doctor.
"Now, Perry!"
Perry, agile and determined, leaped into action, using his skills to disarm the lemurs and aid the penguins. With coordinated moves, the team swiftly subdued the lemurs and disarmed Dr. Doofenshmirtz, leaving him tied up and defeated once again.
As the lemurs scampered away, King Julian sighed, "Fine, you win this time, tuxedo birds and platypus. But only because I need my cheesy snacks." With a theatrical flourish, he retreated into the jungle.
The penguins and Perry exchanged glances, knowing they had once again saved the day. With a series of nods and gestures, they acknowledged their teamwork and bid farewell to one another, each returning to their respective secret missions, knowing that whenever evil reared its head, they had allies they could count on.