AN: Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!
The morning after the ball found Severus lounging on his leather chair, struggling to hold his potions journal steady. Crookshanks had made his home on his lap, and cared little that the man needed to conduct research on his latest project. Try as he might to keep Crookshanks off his person, the half-kneazle was getting his way. His robes would be blanketed in orange fur when all was said and done, fur Hermione would be responsible for removing. If he needed to dry clean his clothes, she would be responsible for the cost. He was sure he could persuade her to go to dinner with him as restitution for his robes. Once they returned to Hogwarts, they would return to her room, the desire between them welling until he had no choice but to capture her lips and whisper in her ear how deep his affection for her ran.
His lips curled up at the memory of his lips brushing against hers. When he'd first leaned in, he feared she would only be receptive to the kiss because she was desperate for Hogwarts to create a ramp. Yet when his lips touched hers, she had been responded as if his presence was as welcome as the first Christmas snow. Could she have wanted to kiss him the way he'd been desiring to kiss her for months?
No matter how much he tried to focus on the article before him, his mind returned to the feeling of draping himself over Hermione while in her wheelchair after their dance. It was unclear how sitting on a woman's lap could make him feel so secure, so cared for. He would give anything for that feeling again, especially if it led to a deeper kiss and other shows of affection.
Never before had he enjoyed waltzing with a woman. Every other dance he'd attended had been disastrous. Most of his dances as a student involved suffering an assault from Sirius, enduring the sight of Lily and James waltzing across the floor, and watching his peers stumble over each other. As a professor, he endured screeching music, asinine love triangles, and more drama than any muggle soap opera could hope to create. Until last night he had few pleasant memories of any dance. Yet in the span of a few hours, Hermione had changed his views on the matter. Now, he would go to another ball if it meant she would caress him like that again. If she wasn't in Australia he'd be tempted to remove the fur ball on his lap, fly up to her room, and show her how much she had come to mean to him.
Before Severus could dwell too much on his yearnings for a certain witch, there was a pounding on the door. Crookshanks glared at it as he remained plopped on the man. Severus' expression matched that of the feline. Who was not too hungover to see him at this hour?
"Severus? Are you there?"
He exhaled as he moved his legs. Crookshanks meowed but refused to budge. After moving his legs some more, Severus forced Crookshanks to take the hint. The half-kneazle glowered at him as he jumped off, making it clear if he wanted another lap warming he would need to bribe him. Severus pulled out his wand and removed the fur from his person, grumbling about the inconvenience of orange felines. Then, he answered the door.
"Severus," Neville grinned. "I hope I did not disturb anything."
"You did not interrupt anything, unless you count babysitting Hermione's orange terror to be keeping occupied."
Crookshanks meowed his objection to being called a terror from the kitchen.
"Yes," Neville cleared his throat. "What kind of state was she in when she left?"
"Once we concluded our conversation she was doing quite well." His lips curled up at the memory of her smile, and the softness of her lips.
"I'd say your conversation went quite well," Neville's smile returned
"Yes," Severus stood up straighter and scowled. "Though we could have done without your floating mistletoe. That was unpleasant and inconvenient. It could have proved quite traumatic had it landed in the wrong hands."
"What?" Neville put his hand over his heart. "Do you believe I would do a thing like manipulate a situation to make two dear friends kiss?"
"Yes, and I believe it was one of your prouder moments."
"Well, I have always taken pride in a well-grown parasitic plant. If it does what I designed it to do, all the better." He winked.
"It worked a little too well," Severus grumbled.
"What happened?"
"The castle refused to allow Hermione to go to her room unless she kissed me."
"The castle wanted you two to kiss?"
"Indeed, and it created an uncomfortable situation."
"Did you kiss her?"
"Only to help Hermione return to her rooms."
"Did you feel violated?"
"No," Severus twisted his lips.
"Did she feel violated?" Neville asked with a grin Severus was tempted to hex from his face.
"Not that I'm aware of."
"Did she seem happy with the turn of events?"
"I think she made the best out of what occurred."
"Did she wheel away as fast as she could from you in revulsion after the kiss?"
"Of course not. She's too polite to do such a thing."
"So she was happy when it was all done?"
"She did look somewhat content. As she left, she said she would only have pleasant memories of the night."
"Then the mistletoe and the castle were right to bring you two together."
"No, they were not," Severus argued. "It forced us into a situation she may not have wanted."
"But you said she kissed you willingly," Neville argued.
"As willingly as anyone will want to kiss me."
"Oh trust me, she was willing to kiss you."
Severus rolled his eyes.
"Severus, that wasn't a joke sprig of mistletoe. You both could have left at any time. If she'd wanted to leave badly enough, the castle would've accommodated her. It takes care of its professors."
"The stairs would not form into a ramp. How is that caring for its professors?"
"The castle knew she needed a little push towards you. It didn't want her to have bad memories of the night any more than you did. Once it was assured that she had a pleasant evening, it allowed both of you to continue with your evening. I believe its only regret is that you did not go to her quarters together."
Severus suppressed a groan.
"The castle knows what will make you two happy, and that's each other," Neville argued.
"Have you been inhaling hallucinogenic spores again?" Severus snapped.
"Nope," Neville answered with confidence.
"Then why do you believe Hermione could ever love me when there are so many other men worthy of her affections?" Severus stepped inside and allowed the other professor to enter.
"First of all, she doesn't want those men. She wants you, and only you."
"What would make you think that?"
"Have you seen the way she looks at you or heard the way she talks about you? She's completely in love with you."
"You're confusing close friendship with love. Friends look at each other like they enjoy each other's presence. They tend to speak of each other with respect, and bring each other up in conversations with others. I assure you it's nothing more than that."
"Maybe it starts out that way, but a strong love is based off friendship."
"Our friendship becoming more would be to her detriment."
"Why do you say that?"
"Hermione is a young woman with a bright future. She does not need to be tied to a man almost two decades her senior who is incapable of loving her the way she deserves to be loved."
"You can love her as she needs to be loved."
"How? You know who I am. I'm surly, stubborn, and leave my dishes out for too long when I finish using them. I ruin everything good in my life. Why would Hermione want to be involved with someone like me?"
"First of all, you haven't ruined your relationship with Hermione. That's a good thing in your life, correct?"
"Yes, which is why it needs to remain friendship. If it ever developed into more, she would realize she doesn't want someone like me."
"She wants someone who respects her, someone who sees her for who she is, who supports her, and who laughs with her. You can do all those things."
"Surely she needs more than that, more than I can give."
"All she needs is you," Neville answered. "She needs your love, which you already give her. If you two love each other, everything else will fall into place."
"Perhaps they will for the next few months, even years, but then she will see me for the broken, ornery, snarly man I am. Once she realizes that I am no prince charming, she will leave me," his voice grew softer as he bowed his head. "Just like everyone else has."
"She would never abandon you, especially after the way she was abandoned by those who claimed to care for her."
"Everyone who left her is a dunderhead."
"Yes, she understands the pain of being left, and would never inflict that on you."
"There is a key difference between us though. She isn't broken. I am."
"Neither of you is broken beyond repair, but you have both been hurt deeply," Neville answered. "Ron did a number on her, as did many of her friends. People left her after she became disabled. Unlike them, you have stayed. When she needed someone to have faith in her and help her accomplish her dreams, you were there. That means more to her than you will ever know."
"Once she understands how inept I am at love, she'll wish she'd never met me," Severus argued.
"Or once she gets to know the man you hide from the rest of the world, she'll spend the rest of her life letting you know how grateful she is that you stayed by her side, and how much she appreciates your love."
"I can stay by her side as a friend just as easily as I can as a lover."
"Really?" Neville asked. "Because Judith didn't seem to think so."
"Do not bring up that woman's name. I have no idea why Minerva invited her to the party." Severus scowled.
"Because you're convincing people you're dating her to get out of any further bad blinds dates even though you're in love with another woman."
"I thought we established I'm only close friends with Hermione. I am incapable of love."
"No, you are very capable of love. The problem is you and Hermione are both too terrified to admit your feelings to each other and allow yourselves to be loved."
"I am only friends with Hermione. She only wants to be friends with me."
"Really?" Neville raised an eyebrow. "Hermione looked crushed when Judith gave you those boots, as if she was reliving every time she'd been called inadequate. A good friend would have been happy you received those boots. Someone who wants to be your lover would have been crushed Judith could afford what she could not."
"Hermione has nothing to fear from Judith," Severus replied. "What I have with Hermione is sacred and irreplaceable. Judith is a casual acquaintance, but Hermione is so much more. I care more deeply for her than I do anyone else."
"Then let her know."
"I told her we'd always be friends. That should be enough."
"Obviously it wasn't if she wheeled out of there when Judith appeared."
"She had nothing to fear. My attention was on Hermione and Hermione alone," Severus' chest warmed at the memory of sitting on her lap, gazing upon her as if she was the only woman in the world.
"Then let Hermione know Judith is no threat to her because you're in love with her, not Judith."
"We are going in circles," Severus sneered. "I am too broken to love anyone, and even if I could, Hermione deserves better than I could ever give her."
"Has it ever occurred to you that Hermione should decide what she deserves, not anyone else?"
"What do you think I've been trying to tell everyone?" Severus threw up his hands. "Everyone thinks they know what's best for her, so they make decisions which aren't in her best interests. The only person they treat more horribly in that regard is me."
"You feel as if Minerva has been telling you what's best for you," Neville's voice was even.
"She has been. Ever since this dating misadventure began, she's been telling me who will make me happy, what I should want in a woman, and how I should change in order to conform to her standards. She thinks she knows what's best for me, when she should let me decide for myself."
"Is that why you didn't accept Judith's gift?"
"Yes, I did not want her to get the wrong impression of my feelings towards her. The gift was too expensive, especially for someone you've known for roughly a month."
"And do you want it back?" Neville pulled out a small box from his pocket, the same one which contained his boots.
"No,' Severus answered. "I do not want her to mistake my intentions. This relationship is casual for me, meaning no expensive gifts."
"Then you are taking control of your destiny." Neville returned the box to his pocket.
"In that regard, yes," Severus relaxed.
"Don't be afraid to go after what you want, what will make you happy." Neville paused. "You deserve it. More than anyone else here, you deserve to be happy."
He hummed and nodded. "How did Judith like your tour?"
"She actually took a great interest in the plants though," Neville twisted his lips. "There were a few times she looked at me like my existence was offensive to her."
"In her defense, if I had bought someone an expensive present and their friend dragged me away to search a greenhouse, I would be irritated as well."
"Yes, but this was different," Neville scratched his chin." This seemed more personal, like I had done something to her, something I'm unaware of."
"Perhaps you look like someone who has wronged her."
"Perhaps," Neville stood up straighter. "But you need to be careful around her. I don't think her intentions are as pure as she wants us to believe."
"Who has pure intentions anymore?"
"Hermione. She has pure intentions towards you. She has never come to you with an agenda, and appreciates that you treat her the same way."
"Indeed, her friendship is pure," his body warmed at the memory of her lips against his. "There is nothing broken about her or what we have."
"She isn't perfect, but what you have is much stronger than what Judith is attempting to build with you."
"Indeed."
"Watch your back," Neville warned. "Judith wants something, and she won't rest until she gets it."
"If I can handle Voldemort, Dumbledore, and Lucius, I can handle some skin care mogul from New York City," Severus answered.
"Good," Neville grew less tense. "Do you have plans on Christmas and New Year's Eve?"
"Crookshanks and I are going to indulge in a turkey dinner on Christmas Day and engage in some light reading. On New Years; Eve, I will be attending the Malfoy Annual Party"
"If you'd like, Edwina is having a party at her house on the evening of Christmas. We'd love for you to join us."
"I will see if my schedule allows for it. Unfortunately, my guest does not always appreciate it when I leave for long periods of time."
Crookshanks let out a yowl as he scratched the cupboard.
"Crookshanks is a demanding guest," Neville replied.
"You have no idea," Severus grumbled before turning to the kitchen and snapping, "You will wait patiently for me or I will not give you a scrap of chicken."
Crookshanks meowed again, but stopped scratching the cupboard.
"I'll leave you to your guest then, but think about what I've said," Neville turned around. "You and Hermione will both be happy if you allow yourselves to love and be loved."
Before Severus could respond. Neville left his quarters. Severus stared into space. Soon, he formed an image of him and Hermione in her quarters, sitting under her Christmas tree. Crookshanks lay beside them, glaring at them for not allowing him on their persons. Severus' lips were pressed against hers as he lay a hand over her swollen stomach, feeling their baby kicking against his palm.
Crookshanks called out for him again.
"Yes, I hear you," Severus shook the images out of his head and prepared to feed his needy companion, lest he knock over his teapot again.